The Wonderful Paradox Of Trying to Control People

Photo by Noah Buscher on Unsplash

People…Am I right?

I mean seriously! If only we could control how people behave. The world would be a better place, wouldn’t it? I mean, gosh, all those transgender people! All those right-wing whack-jobs!

If I were god…I would…

Many spiritual teachers encourage giving up and letting go of trying to control people. They even encourage going with the flow of everything. By letting go, they say, we free ourselves. We become more Zen.

It’s good advice. Especially when it comes to people.

But there’s more to this wisdom. That’s because within the letting go lies a paradox. The paradox being; when we let go we come into our power. And that power allows us absolute control of everything. Including other people.

Let’s explore that more.

Creating what we complain about

We cannot control people or events we witness with our eyes. We can’t because those people and events are complete manifestations in that moment. Trying to change those invites pushback. People get defensive. And events, well, they don’t change.

But future versions of events and people can and do change. However, most people focus on events and people they’re looking at. And when those events and people change in the future, they just change into more of what people see. It’s a paradox. It looks like things aren’t changing. They are though.

Eyes aren’t the only way we perpetuate more of what is. We also do it with our words. Complaining about a situation perpetuates it for example. Same with people. When we complain about others, we align ourselves to future versions of those people. That is, versions aligned with what we’re complaining about.

It’s kind of a built-in process of life experience. After all, we’re here to expand and grow into deeper levels of unconditional love. And when we’re not doing that – by complaining, for example – life gives us more to complain about. Until we give all that complaining up, let go and give in, what we complain about will get more intense on purpose.

Discovering absolute control

Giving in means letting the manifestED be. Instead of focusing on that, especially that which we don’t like, we can turn our attention to what we want. Holding focus there, we will, in time begin seeing a reality matching that focus.

In other words, what we focus on becomes our experience. The more purely we focus on what we want, the more of what we want we see.

This is the paradox of wanting to control. We can’t control circumstances or people. But when we focus on circumstances and people we want to experience, we manifest experience containing only that.

So we absolutely can control people and events. How else are we creating everything around us? It’s through control. Not of people and events. Those things are done, finished. But by leveraging our creative ability, by attending to our focus, the Universe then responds to that. And when it does, circumstance and people bend to our desire.

That’s right. We can create a version of anyone we want. All we need is focus.

Two clients recently proved this to themselves. They offer perfect examples. In one, the client experiences me creating a better version of her. I’ll set that up in a moment. In the other, a client creates a more loving version of her husband. You’ll hear what happened in both cases in the clients’ own words.

The paradox of this wisdom is when you exercise your focus, you have complete control of everything.

A client’s delight

In the first example, I created a better version of the client. The remarkable experience was the client herself recognized this without me pointing it out to her.

She had been no-showing her sessions over the course of many months. So, not being a hypocrite, I chose to create a version of this client who would attend her sessions regularly. Now, the Positively Focused Way isn’t magic. Things don’t instantly happen as a result of leveraging vibration.

But when held long enough, they do happen. They must or else the premises upon which the practice is based would prove false. In this case, it took six months for the new version of the client to emerge. What happened at the end of that period was astounding…mostly for the client. I knew what was going to happen though. Still, I enjoyed the client’s realization. You will too. Take a listen:

A client realizes what happened when I created an improved version of her.

Another client marvels at her power

In the next example, the client and her husband had a rough night. Both struggle with anxiety. That’s something I’m showing my client how to soothe. She’s doing great on that subject. Because of this, she’s taking the Positively Focused Way seriously. She sees evidence of its effectiveness. So she’s testing it everywhere in her life.

The night she and her husband experienced strong anxiety over finances, she decided to use the practice to create a better version of her husband. She told the story in her session, which she allowed me to share. It’s a perfect example, showing how accurate everything in this post is. Take a listen:

A client creates a better version of her husband.

Several other clients have experienced similar results. In fact, my clients have experienced so many examples, it’s undeniable to them and to me.

You can enjoy them in your own life

You are a creator. Every experience is your creation, wanted or not. Therefore, why not create experiences you want? Everyone can. My clients are proving it to themselves. You can prove it to yourself too.

And that’s the rub of life. Words are just that, words. They only go so far. But your life experience convinces better than any amount of words. Even words from me or my clients, people whose experiences have proven it to them.

This explains why I encourage everyone to put this practice to the test. Life is a wonderful spiritual experience. It’s a paradox therefore. It looks real. It’s about as real as it gets. But that “reality” belies how much control you have over it. It looks like an objective reality. It’s not though. It’s 100 percent subjective. And you are the subject. In other words, you’re the creator of it.

As such, you have absolute control. That’s because you’re creating it. All of it. So why not exercise that control deliberately? Let me who you how. Become a client today.

Leave a Reply

Discover more from Positively Focused

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading