I ❤️ What Happens When I’m Positively Focused

Positive vibes FB
Photo by the author

The Universe amazes me in small ways. These small ways are how I know that big things I want are coming. Because of that, I rest easy about life most of the time.

I’m getting better at making “resting easy” my full-time attitude. I know the better I get at that, the more I’ll see how much my personal trinity showers me with blessings.

Characteristic of my trinity is its recursivity. They’re like a fractal. Every part of my life, large or small, reflects that which makes up All That Is, the Universe and my Inner Being. As well as the processes used which make reality reality.

It’s why I know things always work out.

My_Trinity 2
Illustration by the author

Case in point: one Thursday not too long ago. It was an amazing day. Full of epiphanies and one of three peak days that week.  I’ll share the whole, fascinating story in a couple months. Things are still “unfolding” as they say.

Today I’ll tease you with one nugget.

 

When You Think, It Is.

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Photo by the author

A bicycle is my primary transportation mode. Portland is bike friendly. People ride bikes year round here, even though it rains most the year. In late spring though, it’s perfect riding weather. Not too cold or hot. Not as much rain. That brings out a lot of “fair weather riders”.

Like myself.

I mean, I do ride in the rain sometimes…

Anyway, Thursday I was riding home from a couple great appointments. Downtown Portland, where the meetings were, is about six miles from where I live. I love taking this route home. It’s just long enough to get a workout, but not so long it exhausts me.

I got my bike tuned up a couple seasons ago, making a fresh tune up past due.  As I rode up a hill on the way home, the gears shifted on their own, making a loud racket and causing a hitch in my bike get-along.

I thought “hmm. My bike needs a tune up.”

That’s all that happened. Something happened in physical reality. Then in my head a thought occurred.

I’ve noticed something while getting better at creating reality.  If I ever-so-briefly hold an idea of what I want, then let it go, that thing I want happens fast. Usually within the day.

If I stew about what I want, if I keep thinking about it, it usually takes much longer to happen. Strange, isn’t it?

I think that happens because, in the first case, I don’t put attention on the absence of what I want. I don’t have time to think about it. The thought comes. Then goes.

So it’s a pure request. Unhindered by negative thought. I’m told that if a request is pure, it is answered immediately. Resistance is inherent to physical reality. So I don’t expect instant manifestation. Same-day manifestation is pretty quick though.

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Illustration by the author

Bigger things I want, such as a huge amount of money, are taking longer only because my old beliefs slow things down. But I’m getting better about letting those beliefs subside. I’m also getting better at replacing them with ones more consistent with what I want.

Old beliefs like “I have to work a job to get money” I’m replacing with “money naturally happens in my life”. Beliefs like “it’s impossible to just have money show up like magic” I’m replacing with “everything is possible”.

How do I know this process works? Because more things are happening like what I’m sharing.

So on Thursday, when I thought about needing a bike tune up, the thought came. I thought it. Then let it go. I didn’t think about how much tune ups cost. I didn’t think about the hassle of scheduling one. I didn’t think about being without my primary (and most enjoyable) transportation.

Three quarters of a mile down the road something happened. I’m among a group of riders. We’re all heading from downtown. It’s after five. Bicycle commuters are overflowing the bike lane. It’s a normal late Portland Spring day.

Except, it’s not normal.

Three quarters of a mile past that hill where my gears puttered, there’s a guy on the road’s shoulder. He has a bike stand – one of those things you clip a bike to that suspends bikes in the air so you can work on them. He’s in shorts, t-shirt and blue latex gloves. At his ankles is a sign. It reads something like “Get bike advice”.

I ride past him.

In the 12 + years I’ve taken this route home, never have I seen this guy. Yet, here he is. On this day. Passing him, I get an intuition to turn back. It’s a strong one.

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My Inner Being has written in this blog about “intuitions” and “impulses”. They say these are communications from them. Urgings which, if followed, lead me towards what I’m wanting. So many times over the years, following their urgings resulted in surprising and delightful encounters. Encounters with people. Encounters with circumstances and events which, like they promise, end with me getting what I want.

So when I rode past Dan (his real name), my intuition pinged. Hard. I couldn’t resist turning back.

Of course, I’m not always great at following my intuitive impulses. Sometimes I miss them. Sometimes I hear them, then don’t follow them. Lately, my Inner Being has been urging me about getting better at immediately following these impulses.

Given ambitions I have, I know they’re helping me get better at this. They know doing so will get me what I want even faster than it happens today. Which already is pretty fast. This story is a great example. In fact, the whole week overflowed with poignant results. Results you just can’t make up!

Dan on my bike
Photo by the author

About half a mile past Dan, I decided to turn back. When I returned, I asked Dan if he would be willing to tune my gears up. And if so, how much he’d charge me.

“Yes I can tune them,” he said. “I’ll also show you how to do it. And, I’m not wanting any money. I’m doing this to help riders. That’s all.”

That’s all? Wow, I thought. That’s AWESOME.

When he said that, I knew this was the Universe responding to my “request”. After the week I was having. After the day I was having, how could it not be?

Only after hearing Dan say this did I realize a couple things. One, I was willing to pay a bike shop like $100 to get my bike tuned up. Two, I also thought about looking on YouTube to learn how to do it myself. My Inner Being knew all this, and here they delivered an “in-person YouTube” lesson!

And you know what? Tuning up bike gears is easy!

Dan showed me how to do it. It took a minute or less. I shook my head. To think I was willing to pay someone almost $100 for a minute’s work when the Universe organized it at no cost!

My ride home after that felt like floating on a cloud. I was on a natural high.

· · ·

It’s these demonstrations which tell me I’m connected to my personal warehouse of blessings. That and how I feel on the daily. I’m feeling happier and happier the more I maintain positive focus. My Inner Being tells me there’s no upper limit how happy I can get. I think that’s so cool.

The more happy I get, the more my personal trinity, in small and large ways, shows me that life is easy. It shows me I can relax in my blessedness.

It’s these small events, happening more and more these days, which tell me my bigger desires are on their way too.

For me, manifestation is great. But manifestations are the spice which make the main event tasty. The main event, where I put most of my attention these days, is how great I feel. I feel great knowing the Universe not only has my back, it’s got my entire life in its hands.

So I can rest easy.

The Most Important Story You Probably Missed in GOT

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Artwork: The author

[There be spoilers ahead]

So Game of Thrones is over. What a finale. Danny dead. Jon Snow exiled. Arya off on adventure. The hound…Queen Cersei…well…you know.

But producers hid the biggest GOT story right in plain sight. As much as it was a fantasy, Game of Thrones is faithful to reality. And if you got that, well, you walked away from season eight’s final episode as I did.

With a huge freaking grin and insanely inspired.

There’s Nothing Like A Story

In one of the show’s best monologues Tyrian Lannister tells the story of Bran the Broken. Soon to be chosen as king of the six realms, Bran began the show as what seemed like a minor character.

But that minor part became the major story. And this is the hidden gem. Namely: You can work your ass off and still not be king. Better put: Do nothing and you will be king.

That’s exactly what Bran did. After being pushed off a window ledge at Winterfell, it seemed Bran’s life was over. He ended up a coma. Then paralyzed. He got out of the coma. Only to learn he’d be forever in a wheel chair.

Bran Stark
Artwork by the Author

Which forced him to go spiritual. With nary a limb he could flex, he turned to flexing his consciousness. Then he began probing spiritual mysteries.

What he found helped him marshal forces of destiny. He used them, moving with All That Is as it used other people to do its bidding. Through that connection, Bran became not only Bran the Broken, king of the six realms. He also became Bran the Invincible.

Even facing the Night King, the most fearsome foe in the whole show, Bran prevailed.

Note how everyone moved in Bran’s favor while at the same time serving their own purposes. A assassin tried killing him but a massive hound rips his throat out. Wildlings tried killing him. Theon Greyjoy and Rob rush to his rescue. When Theon takes Winterfell, he survives thanks to Osha’s help.

In every adverse situation, Bran maintained connection with his larger self. His larger self giving insight into the next steps. His larger self directing others in Bran’s defense. Meanwhile Bran relied on inner knowing telling him where to be. Who to speak with. What to say.

All without lifting a finger, arm, leg or sword, Bran became leader of the realm.

GOT is great fantasy. It’s also excellent commentary on reality. GOT is allegory. You have Bran’s ability. I notice this ability unfolding in my own life. Me and my Inner Being write about such experiences throughout this blog.

Here we describe how I choose an outcome. Then I connect with the universe, All That Is and my Inner Being, all representing my larger self. I communicate my desire. Then watch as my personal trinity orchestrates the world around me. Including people and events. Orchestrated in such a way that what I chose becomes my reality.

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My personal complex identity. The “we” of me. Artwork: The author

Action Is Overrated

Contrast Bran’s story with that of Jon Snow, or any other action-oriented GOT character. Jon, the best swordsman. Admired. A master strategist. Handsome. A courageous fighter. Death-defying…and legitimate and rightful heir to the Iron Throne.

All that action-based, work your ass off effort he was known for got him nothing. Nothing except cold days and nights in exile with the wildlings. Not so bad considering that hunk of a guy Tormund Giantsbane. And if there are more beauties like Ygritte there.

Far from becoming king though.

Sure he didn’t want it. But that’s not the point.

Jon Snow
Artwork: the author

The point is, focus on connecting with your deeper self. That larger part of you remaining in the spiritual world. When you do, you’ll discover profound insights. Insights about yourself. Insights about the world and people around you.

When you do, you’ll discover just how much influence you have over the world around you. You become king. King of the largest realm there is. The realm of your subjective reality. Which includes all you’re capable of perceiving.

You’ll also perceive something else. That you are surrounded by messages encouragingi to look within. Especially movies and art.

Game of Thrones was a thrill ride. A great story. A wonderful character exploration. But if you missed what you just read, you just got entertained.

Instead of getting inspired.

 

How I Get What I Want Easily

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Photo: Amy Shamblen on Unsplash

The best happiness is conjured. It’s how I get things easily. Getting what I want should be easy. That’s the way life can be for everyone. For me it is.

It hasn’t always been easy.  I had to learn how reality happens before getting what I want came easily. I appreciate what I learned. So I’m sharing it.

In the old days I didn’t know all this. By “old days” I mean a few years ago. 😀

Back then, I got a lot of what I wanted and some of what I didn’t. I got that the same way you likely do. Random!

I became pretty successful, but it was hard work, struggle, sacrifice.

Instead of talking about the old days, I want to talk about today’s days. But I guess I can’t without referring a little bit to the old days for context. 🤷🏽‍♂️

 

How Do Things Happen?

First, let me clarify something: Getting what I want means creating reality.

Many people scoff when “new agers” talk about “creating reality” and “manifesting”. Here’s the thing about that.

A lot of what I want is “real”. Physical events, physical things and, yes, some intangible things too. Like peace of mind. And understanding how life works.

But everything I want, including intangible stuff, must happen in the physical world. I call that “reality”. You probably call it that too.

So getting what I want means experiencing realities different from what I have. New realities that include in them what I want. Somehow, those realities must come about.

How do they come? Aren’t they being created? If so, who or what creates them?

I explored these questions some time ago. I’m glad I got super-clear answers.

· · ·

So when I talk about getting what I want, I’m talking about creating new realities. Realities that weren’t realities before. I’m at the center of “how”. And I’m getting better  proving to myself how that “how” works.

Fig. 1 below shows how I used to create reality. I call it “The Haphazard Way”. Here’s how that process worked for me. Maybe it works for you this way.

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Illustration by the author

 

Reality Needs A Perceiver And It Shapes That Which Perceives

Reality doesn’t exist if there is no perceiver. So reality needs a perceiver for it to “be”. Any consciousness capable of perception will do. In Fig. 1, I’m using me as the perceiver. But it could as well be a dog, bird, cockroach or single-celled organism.

In The Haphazard Way, as perceiver, I look at the world (Step 1 in Fig. 1) and see what’s happening. From that, I choose what I want.

For example, when I was young, I realized having money was a good thing. In high school, I looked at professions where my talents (love of writing, art, etc) would pay most. Then I planned my life to match that trajectory.

So far so good.

But while spending so much time looking at the world, I also couldn’t help see how other people got what I wanted. Sounds normal, right? You set a goal, then look at others’ success as a model for yours.

The problem is, I’m not here to copy what others did. I thought I was. And I succeeded at that for a while. It wasn’t fulfilling though.

I’m a creator. I’m here to do it my way. A fresh way. You are a creator too. You’re not here to copy others.

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llustration by the author

Besides, the majority of humans (like 99.999 percent) create what they want haphazardly (Fig. 1). That works. But it’s not easy. That’s why so many people describe getting what they want as “working your ass off,” “sacrificing”, “paying your dues”, etc. Then they feel proud about that.

Why would I want to copy that? If they knew what I now know, I don’t think they’d feel proud.

But it’s what they know. So I don’t blame them. Instead I say “more power to you!” Because they’re going to need it.

In their reality (Fig. 1), working your ass off (or who you know, or having money, or paying your dues or whatever) is necessary. It’s necessary because they’ve looked at how others have done it. And they are copying that.

I was doing the same. Here’s why I don’t do that now.

 

Living Other People’s Experience By Default

When I copied another’s way, I also accepted their beliefs about reality. Everybody’s doing that. Which is why we have the world we have where pretty much everyone thinks the same way about reality. I thought that way too.

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Illustration by the author

Back to fig. 1: Looking at the world (Step 1) formed beliefs within me consistent with what I was looking at (Step 2). Including other people’s beliefs. If I believed as everyone else, my actions would match everyone else (Step 3). Not my original, pure inspirations.

Beliefs dictate actions in The Haphazard Way

My actions reflected what I believed. Next I’d look at results my actions created (Step 4) to check (Step 5) if they matched my expectations. “Expectations” is another word for “beliefs about the future”. Based on beliefs I got from others, I formed beliefs about the future containing what my acts should produce.

Make sense so far?

Here’s the problem. My adopted beliefs included ways to get what I want. But they also included negative beliefs about the world. About me too.

A major negative belief about the world, which I adopted from others was “there’s only so much to go around”. Another: “I’m in competition for those limited things, whether it’s money, women, cars, etc.” Another: “money doesn’t grow on trees” meaning: it’s scarce.

These are beliefs new agers call “scarcity consciousness”. They make an unlimited thing limited.

My beliefs also included other people’s beliefs about people like me. For example, I had a lot of negative beliefs about being African American and queer. These negative beliefs shaped my self-worth, self-respect and, most important, what I thought was possible.

Maybe you have these too. Where do these come from? I got them looking at the world. I listened to what my parents’ said about the world and believed them. I watched their personal experiences, then formed beliefs from that. I got beliefs from my personal experience. I shaped beliefs listening to TV and radio. I got beliefs from reading stuff.

In other words, I got my beliefs from looking at the world around me (Step 1).

How about you? Where do your beliefs come from? Have you thought about that? Some people I talk with are open enough to say they get their beliefs the same way I did. “I was raised to believe…” is how it usually starts.

Maybe you were “raised to believe…” a certain way too…

Back to Fig. 1.

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Illustration by the author

So when I checked my progress (or lack thereof), I would make up stories reflecting my messed up (inaccurate) beliefs. “This happened because I was black” or, “I can’t do that right” or, “I wish I could do it like that guy”, or “I need money to do that and I don’t have money so…”

The thing is, the world I saw matched beliefs I had. It’s tricky to sort out beliefs I hold from the world I see. They are so intertwined. In reality, they are one. They both reflect each to the other. I know that now.

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Illustration by the author

So no matter what happened from my actions, I interpreted them according to my beliefs. I still do that. That can’t be helped. Life will always reflect my beliefs.

But today, I have a whole new set of beliefs. They come from a new way of creating reality.

What’s interesting is, I wouldn’t have my new way, were it not for the old way.

Life will not differ from how I believe. “Life” is the cycle illustrated in Fig. 1 and 2. Both cycles repeat themselves over and over. Beliefs become automatic. Acts born of beliefs recede into the background. What’s left are results and interpretations.

If I want any part of my reality different, I must change my beliefs. To change beliefs, I must know how they happen. Then use that process differently.

That’s where Fig. 2 comes in.

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Illustration by the author

 

The World Turns From One Thing I See To The Next

I questioned early on why things happened the way they did. So The Haphazard Way helped me. It’s not wrong. I think it serves this exact purpose.

I’m not the only person who knows about this. More are learning it all the time. Here’s how it works:

First, I look at the world (Step 1). But I don’t accept that world as factual. Instead I look at what is and use it to decide not only what I want, but how I would like it to happen.

I don’t think about the specifics of how it could happen. I only think about how it would feel to have what I want (Step 1).

Once I figure that out, I choose beliefs (Step 2) consistent with what I want.  I literally make up beliefs. The more original the better. The beliefs boost the feelings.

Next I hold the feelings the beliefs have boosted. I keep feeling the feelings. I pay as little attention as I can to current reality. Including the fact that it doesn’t contain what I want. I don’t think about what I want either. I only feel how it feels having what I want.

I’m not always successful. But you’d be surprised how little success is needed for this to work.

If/when I’m successful with Fig. 2 Step 2, the universe and the larger part that is me gives feedback, suggestions and impulses about acts to take (Step 3). I try never to act unless I get inspiration. This is important.

Sometimes it takes a long time before I get inspiration. Just ask my wife! 😜

Other times, inspiration comes immediately.

Sometimes I have to sort out where the inspiration is coming from. Old beliefs sometimes draw ideas to me. They sound like “you should be doing….”

The right inspiration doesn’t sound that way.

When right inspiration does come, I try to act immediately (Step 4). Next, I do my best to not look for evidence my acts create. I don’t check. Instead, I use observing the world as fuel. Fuel for more made up beliefs. Beliefs consistent with the reality I am creating, rather than the one I’m looking at.

· · ·

My Inner Being has written in this blog about some results this process produced. It’s going to continue doing that. So many things are happening all the time.

Life has changed for me since using this process. Most important, I’m finding myself happier. Not because I’m getting more of what I want easier, which I am. But because when I’m spending most of my time focusing on positive beliefs, how can that not become a habit? And how can a positive focus turned habitual not produce a reality consistent with that? And how can that not create a happy life?

That’s conjured happiness.

In the end, I want what I want because I think I’ll be happier getting that. When I’m positively focused, I’m already happy. That’s the best place from which to have what I want show up. It takes out the yearning that happens when I seek happiness in getting things.

The best happiness is conjured happiness. I know that now. And thank goodness that I do because it makes getting things easy.

Positivity Is The Secret To The Best Life

Piece of Cake FB blog
Photo by Ronmar Lacamiento from Pexels

We shared a day in Perry’s life where small “pearls” prove he lives on cloud nine. The less effort you put into trying to get what you want, the easier life gets.

Other people are key. The Universe coordinates other people coming into your life. People showing up are pathways to what you want. The Universe puts them there according to your instruction. When you give it clear instruction, your desires come fast. That’s how life gets easy.

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Drawing by the author

Today we’re sharing more examples from Perry’s life show how easy life can be. Give clear instruction, and the Universe gives you what you want.

· · ·

Last month Perry noticed how much is going right in the world. He trends positive about most things. But that day, amazement was near constant. The world is getting better and better. Even if you think it’s not.

Feeling super-positive that morning, Perry checked his email. Two notification emails mentioned the same long time friend. Let’s call him Leon. One notification came via Facebook. The other via Patreon.

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Perry gets a notification that “Leon” has become a patron

Leon follows Perry’s work with Copiosis.  Turns out last night he decided to support Perry’s work. The Patreon email said Leon became a $20 monthly Patron.

Perry spent a moment enjoying that news. Then he wondered why Leon changed his mind after so long. So he contacted him.

Leon said he now gets the value and power of Perry’s positive focus. So he decided to support spreading the message.

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It was interesting timing. Perry feeling amazement. Then checking his inbox. Then talking to Leon. Good news everywhere.

Leon shared his new-found perspective and understanding. Meanwhile, Perry dashed off a graphic illustrating his perspective. Life gets better and better. Even what appears negative serves life’s positive long game.

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Perry’s graphic showing life’s pendulum.

Perry’s friend agreed, then wrote this:

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Perry thought that was a great idea. If someone could show tangibly, or “prove” what Perry knew is the case, it could help others “see the light” too.

Perry knows of course. For him, it’s not something he “thinks”. Nor is it something he “believes”. There’s a difference between “thinking”, “believing” and “knowing”.

When you “think” something, you’re supposing. It’s not knowing. You’re not sure.

When you “believe” something, you think you “know”. But there’s a difference between the two. Believe something long enough and you can know it. That’s because beliefs create reality (for the person who believes).

But knowing is distinct. It’s visceral awareness confirmed through personal life experience.

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You’re Getting Everything You Want

Ever notice when you want something, yet don’t spend a lot of time or energy trying to make it happen, it happens faster?

You probably don’t notice. You’re not paying attention. So you miss how fast it comes.

It’s a lot like time. When you’re bored, you notice how slowly time passes. You watch the clock. Time seems like it runs backwards.

When you’re engaged and excited, time passes fast. You don’t notice it. When you notice time, like when you’re bored, it passes slow.

Now try this: look at your clock. Watch the clock until the minute changes. Notice how long it takes a minute to pass. Felt like a long time, yes? They say a watched pot never boils…

The same is true with what you want. The more you notice it’s not there, the longer it takes to come.

That’s because when you want something, you notice it’s missing. You think you focus on wanting that thing. But you can’t help notice the opposisite. What you want is not there.

Don’t pay much attention to the thing you want. It will come faster. That’s what happens now in your life. You don’t notice this though because it happens so quick. And because you aren’t noticing it.

In these cases, you notice something you want. Then forget about it. The larger part of you creates it instantly in your moment of becoming. Then it organizes events and people so you can have it in your “reality”.

Because you’re not paying too much attention you make room for the organizing. Then, voila! It shows up.

This happens a lot. So often you don’t notice.

For things you really want, though, it rarely happens this way. It can. But doesn’t.

The reason is obvious. You’re slowing things down. Now that you know what you know, you can fix it. It just takes practice.

· · ·

So here was Perry having this conversation. He agreed with Leon how cool it would be if someone objectively proved the world gets better. But Perry didn’t need this evidence. He knew already. So he didn’t care as much.

It would be nice though if someone did that work. Wrote a book perhaps…

That’s as far as Perry took it. Leon said he has a brother who has a Math PhD. He said he’d ask his brother if he’d look into it. Perry thought this was cool too, but didn’t think too much about that either.

After the conversation, Perry got ready for his dentist appointment. The conversation ended in time for him to get dressed, floss and brush his teeth and walk to the dentist about a mile away.

He arrived ten minutes before his appointment. It was a pleasant walk, in warm sunny weather. Everyone in the office was happy. At least everyone Perry talked with.

Usually, Perry gets his teeth cleaned by Sabrina, his hygienist. At the end of the appointment, the dentist does the exam. This time the dentist was busy with a difficult patient. Perry heard him talking with the patient in the other room. They were talking through an interpreter. The case sounded really difficult.

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Sabrina the hygenist all up in Perry’s grill. (Photo by the author)

Next thing Perry knew, the dentist was there examining his teeth. The hygienist hadn’t finished. Perry asked the dentist what was up.

“I came in to see you now because I’ve got this difficult case over there,” the dentist said. “If I didn’t come do your exam now, it probably would be a while.”

This happens frequently. It’s like Perry’s the center of the universe. Little things remind him. Like a dentist’s Inner Being telling him to examine Perry’s teeth rather than making Perry wait.

Your life works this way too. The more you’re positively focused, the more evidence shows up that life is this way. Or rather, the more you can see that life happens this way. Because it is this way. You just can’t see it.

· · ·

After Perry’s appointment he walked home, teeth shiny and clean. At home an article caught his interest. It was about Andrew Yang, a democratic presidential candidate Perry follows. Two things happened at that point.

Several weeks ago, another friend introduced Perry to people belonging to this thing called the Intellectual Dark Web (IDW). Several of these people’s stories didn’t make sense. They seemed to be progressives, but progressives hated them.

He didn’t understand this. But wanted to.  He also didn’t want to spend a lot of time trying to figure it out. So he didn’t.

On this day, though, he came across this article on Yang. It contained a link to another article. That article was about people in the IDW. The link answered all Perry’s questions. It even introduced Perry to a website created about these intellectual renegades.

Perry remembered a few weeks back thinking “I’d like to know more about what IDW is.”  But didn’t pursue the answer. And here this article fell into his lap.

IDW blog
The IDW: Who are these guys?

Notice the pattern. Perry having a positively focused day. Then a friend becoming a $20/mo. patron. Then a great conversation with that guy. Then a flawless dental appointment, followed by a wonderful walk home. Then an answer to a question he asked a week before. We’re showing you how to give the Universe your instructions.

· · ·

The next day, Perry was talking with someone who responded to a story he published on Medium. There, Perry shared the same pendulum graphic he shared with his friend on Facebook. The commenter wrote back, suggesting a book from the author Steven Pinker.

Steven Pinker blog

Perry never heard of this book or the author. When he read it, it amazed him.

Remember Perry’s friend, Leon, said it would be a good idea if someone proved what Perry knows? That’s what Steven Pinker did in his book! It describes exactly what Leon wanted to know.

Of course, Perry told Leon.

Now it should be mentioned a LOT of people disagree with this book’s thesis. We do too. So does Perry. Reality is SUBJECTIVE. You make it what it is. That “what is” is “for your eyes only”, which is a really great James Bond film…

The point is, the planet and reality are both “big”. Big and sophisticated enough to hold all perspectives.

Which is why Perry needs no objective evidence for his knowing.

Still, were all these events, which happened in the course of a few days, coincidence?

We know the answer is “no”. So does Perry. Perry knows when you’re positively focused, life is this way. It’s this way for people who aren’t positively focused too. But they don’t see it.

They don’t see it because what they’re getting is consistent with their life-view.  See the world as negative, the world is that way. If you think things can’t change, they don’t.

Life gets better for everyone. Even negative people. But not nearly as fast as it could.

And it’s far less fun.

Want to be in on the fun? Then you gotta be positively focused. Here’s how to start, today.

The Best Argument For Living With Your Head In The Clouds

Where you're meant to be FB blog

In every life instant, amazing experiences are happening. A dizzying number.

Even in your life, these things are happening. You don’t recognize them if your awareness is limited by negative thinking. But the more positively focused you become, the better you see.

“Yeah, right,” you might scoff. “My life is busy. I don’t have time to stop and smell the roses. Get your head out of the clouds.”

Having your head in the clouds is the prerequisite to living life on cloud nine. Why do you think humans have the saying “living on cloud nine” in the first place? Or having one’s “head in the clouds”?

It’s not because it’s a fantasy. For some it’s real.

But that’s how life is supposed to feel for everyone. Not only a few.

On cloud nine, you live in bliss, you see evidence everywhere that your dreams are becoming real.

Not “becoming real” metaphorically like a dream. But in real life.

Out of life’s beautiful complexity, you meant to choose life experiences matching your dreams. You knew your life could match your dreams before you got here.

That’s why you’re here now.

As more dreams came true your life would feel unreal. More dreams would come true. Then more. Then more.  And then you’d happily leave physical reality behind.

By “life” we don’t mean this life only. We mean all your lives. Lives you’re living in many dimensions. So many it makes no sense counting them.

yolo blog
You only live once…or do you?

But you’re human. As human, you narrow your larger awareness into this one human experience. It seems like you have only one life to live. You Only Live Once (YOLO), they say.

But they are wrong. You’re eternal. And you can know that as sure as you know you are reading this.

Many reading this would like what they’re reading to be true. They have trouble finding evidence of this in their lives though.  They have no proof these words are accurate.

If you’re one of these readers, take heart. The only reason you don’t have evidence is your awareness is limited by beliefs you have. You can’t see the evidence because you don’t believe it’s there.

But evidence surrounds you. A quick story to illustrate.

 

Evidence Appearing Invisible Only Is When You Can’t See It

One day, after a week away on vacation, Perry’s wife Bridget came home, unpacked and checked in on her pet rabbit. She didn’t want to burden Perry with taking care of the rabbit while on vacation. She already had him taking care of the cats. So she had a friend do it.

During her vacation, she still worried about the rabbit. A lot. Bridget worries about a lot a lot.

At first, she didn’t know Perry was feeding and watering the rabbit. Even though her friend and Perry himself told her that.

Rabbit text blog

Not long after she returned from her trip, even though only two hours had passed since Perry told her that he had been feeding the rabbit, Bridget, in a panic, sent this:

Food bowl blog

Now, here is the interesting thing. In the picture above, you see an empty food bowl. It could have been empty because the rabbit ate all the food. Either way, you don’t see the entire picture. This is how you might see your own life.

Below is a larger perspective of the entire rabbit cage. Notice the full food bowl on the left. It seems obvious Bridget should have seen the full bowl. The whole picture.

Rabbit cage blog2

 

Logical right? Why didn’t she?

Because her beliefs prevented her from seeing it. That’s why. She said she worried her whole vacation about the rabbit. That worry created a reality where – for Bridget – the rabbit hadn’t been fed. Even though in Perry’s reality, the rabbit had been fed.

The point is, just because you can’t see evidence of something doesn’t mean it’s not there. It is. It only means you must learn how to see it. “Learning” usually means expanding your awareness beyond your beliefs. The best way to do that is by living with your head in the clouds. Or better said: living Positively Focused.

This is what we talk about through this blog. Positively Focused is more than a clever title. It’s the state of being required to see the evidence. Evidence of what?

Evidence you live a charmed life. That you live on cloud nine.

When you get Positively Focused, your vision gets clearer and clearer. Not only do you see plenty evidence. That evidence piles up so high life gets amazing.

Your larger awareness deluges you with cloud nine evidence. That includes lovers, material success, life satisfaction and fulfillment. If you’re not getting what you want, it’s because of where you believe. Just like Bridget couldn’t see a reality different from her beliefs.

Some will say disparagingly “this sounds like the movie The Secret”. Many think that movie was too material oriented. Some think it bullshit.

It left out a lot.

Your life experience isn’t about collecting a bunch of stuff. It’s about realizing you’re eternal. It’s about realizing your absolute control over your life experience. It’s about knowing, you create your reality. How do you know? Through experiencing yourself creating your reality.

Difference blog

Then it’s about taking that knowledge and creating your best life. Day by day, as you go along.

 

Material Pursuits Are The Spiritual Practice

Since “life” happens in physical matter, “things” can help you realize you create your life. This is why The Secret focused so much on “things”. Things and experiences are “the stuff of life”.  “Physical” life is as “real” as “spiritual” life (i.e. nonphysical) gets. Because physical life experience is spiritual experience taken to its maximum experiential extent.

Physical life is the ultimate expression of spiritual life. At least it is to humans.

You knew that when you decided to become human. The ecstatic, profound immersion experience you have on Earth keeps you coming back.

Perry’s life demonstrates this truth to him all the time. His awareness is getting bigger. So he sees more evidence than most. Sometimes it’s little pearls. These are everyday experiences where life goes wonderfully.

Zoe Holling spiritual practice FB blog
Material pursuits are a spiritual practice (Photo: Zoe Holling)

And there are great big platinum/level experiences. Realizations that astound him. Perry knows both little pearls and platinum level experiences are the stuff of life. Both are equal in validity. None greater than the other.

The more he comes into his knowing, the more profound Perry’s pearls. And the bigger the Platinum-level realizations get.

That’s why Perry’s knowing is solid. His conviction too. Every realization, every manifestation that happens is one more brick in a gargantuan wall of evidence.

Sure, he still doubts sometimes. But those moments are rarer than ever.

You can know too. It just takes a little practice.

Perry writing now: it’s true. I once wanted to believe this stuff. But now, so much of what my Inner Being has told me has happened, it’s impossible not to know.

· · ·

Today, we want to share what happened one morning this past week. (the week we are writing this which is the week of March 24-29, 2019, even though it might not be published for a while)

We want to show you the small stuff, little clues Perry received. Remember, these are happening in such plenitude, it’s impossible to share them all. Perry would be writing nearly every moment about every moment!

We tell these stories to inspire readers. Not so you can copy what’s happening in Perry’s life. But so you can create your own snowflake. Your own unique, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious life experience consistent with what you believe would knock your socks off.

In other words, your own cloud nine.

Anything you want can be yours and is yours. You only must apply yourself so you become positively focused. Then you have it.

 

A Morning In Perry’s Charmed Life

On Sunday, Perry decided he wanted to get some camping utensils. He promised Bridget he’d also run to Trader Joes (TJs). Perry planned to go straight to TJs first. That would have been the logical order. Grocery shop before TJs got crowded. The other stops were closer to home.

But he got inspired to get the utensils first. Dick’s Sporting Goods was less than 10 minutes away. On his way, he got another inspiration: stop by this old cemetery even closer to home.

First leg blog
First trip: to the cemetery instead of Dick’s

You’re following your Inner Being, larger perspective, god, or whatever you want to call it. Such guidance never looks like a straight-line destination to your goal. It’s always a roundabout trip. Many reasons explain this.

First, you’d get bored if things happened fast. In other words, you prefer the long route. Second your larger perspective is coordinating with everyone else’s. So often, a circuitous trip is necessary. That’s because, rendezvous with others must be coordinated. You get what you want, while participating others get what they want also.

So what looks like what Abraham calls a “wild goose chase” is actually purpose-designed, as you’ll soon see in Perry’s experience.

So Perry went to this Columbia Historical Cemetery. It was an interesting visit. When he arrived, he assumed he’d get inspiration for drone images or other photography. But he didn’t see anything inspiring. He stayed there maybe 15 minutes.

Then he headed to Dicks’. The utensils he wanted cost almost $20 at Dicks’. Ridiculous! Perry thought. He bought all three utensils previously for $1 each (a knife, fork and spoon) at REI.

Knowing he could get a better deal, he left. Now he could have gone to Amazon.com and get any number of sets. Some less than what he paid. The cost wasn’t the point. It was the journey that unfolded.

On his way out, he got his next inspiration: try out the outdoor store next to Dicks’. It caters mainly to conservatives. Being liberal in most respects, Perry tends to support liberal-minded stores. In this case, he didn’t second guess his intuition.

“Whatever” he said, and went in.

Despite is apprehension he received great and kindly service. He also found exactly what he was looking for, for exactly the same price he paid before, more than seven years ago. Only they were a nicer color.

utensils blog
The camping utensils, had for $1 each.

They were also a two-thirds less than what Amazon.com sold them for.

So following his impulses, and not second guessing or prejudging them, gave him what he wanted. At a great price.

But that wasn’t all.

One dream Perry is allowing into his existence is owning a brand new Ford F-150 pickup truck. According to Abraham, you know you’re lined up with your desire when you see it everywhere.

Here’s an excerpt from Perry’s journal, written the day of this trip:

Then, on my way out [of the sporting goods store], my heart skipped a beat when I saw this gorgeous F-15. While I was taking these pictures (I didn’t miss this Source!) there were five other F-150s driving around me. It was pretty awesome. I get it too. I’m right on the verge of this realization. SO cool.

While Perry took pictures of this truck, five other F-150 owners drove by, at exactly the same time. A dark blue one, a silver one, two maroon ones and another white one.

F150 three quarters blog
The truck Perry is attracting into his life experience, spotted in the sporting goods store parking lot.

This is why your desires unfold in a roundabout way. If Perry had gone directly to the sporting goods store, the six trucks simultaneous experience wouldn’t have happened. But because he followed his intuition, he arrived in that spot with perfect timing so he could have this experience.

After that Perry went to TJs. Even though the store was crowded, he had an in-and-out experience. He had a wonderful conversation with the checker and even got a great parking spot in the TJ parking lot. If you ever shopped at TJs, you know how tight their parking lots are! Especially at peak times.

The whole trip blog
The final entire trip.

Now, these experiences might sound like coincidence. They might sound like no big deal. And they are, until they start happening to you regularly. This was one day in a week of such experiences. We’ll share more next time.

· · ·

Our point today is, you’re surrounded by evidence of the charmed life you live. Your cloud nine life. If you don’t experience a cloud nine life experience, it’s not because you aren’t having one. You just can’t see the evidence.

The same way Perry’s wife couldn’t see the full rabbit food bowl.

You can live with your head in the clouds. It’s not a fantastical dream. It is reality for everyone. Most don’t experience it because they believe it’s fantastical.

It is not fantastical. It’s real.

But only to those who are positively focused.

Brit Marling Knows. So Can You.

Zal_Batmanglij_&_Brit_Marling_(6998271749) blog
Brit Marling (right) talking with friend Zal Batmanglij. (Photo: maybeMaybeMaybe, CC BY-SA 2.0)

Her films are gorgeous, quirky, thought-provoking art you either love or hate. But more important, Brit Marling’s career trajectory to film making stardom shows how you can find success simply by following your inner guidance.

Your inner guidance knows better than societal, parental or even your own ideas of how to become successful.

Hard work is never the best path to success. It can and does work. And almost everyone who “makes it” will say that’s what they did. But we’re telling you, that’s not what’s happening and that’s not what made them successful.

There are a LOT of examples we could share. But Marling’s is timely.

One, because her newest Netflix show The OA dropped it’s Part II and it’s amazing. Two, because we love her quirky storytelling which explores themes dear to us. And three, because she chose to follow her inner guidance over practicality, even though the practical route was blue-chip certified, guaranteeing her a seat at the elites’ table.

Kicking guaranteed success to the curb, she succeeded nevertheless.

Having trouble understanding the difference between following your inner guidance and doing the practical thing? Listen to Marling’s story.

Once a Goldman Sachs analyst, fast tracking in her mother’s footsteps on her way. But the job was making her sick. Doctors (supporters of the being “realistic”) had a fix.

But Marling had a better idea: she quit Goldman Sachs and pursued film making.

The result? Successful films, an outstanding series currently on Netflix and a life she won’t trade for anything. All not possible had she literally swallowed the (anti-depression) pill in order to stay at Goldman Sachs.

Everyone can have their own version of her story. But not when you’re thinking hard work is the way to success.

· · ·

But Perry, what about those who struggle, never realizing success the likes of Marling and others?

That’s why we need a better national infrastructure. One that makes it easy for people to follow their inner guidance. The reason so many fail following their inner guidance isn’t so much because they suck at it. It’s because society sucks at supporting them doing that.

Dont follow your passion blog
Many people write articles about NOT following your inner guidance. Why is that?

That’s why “don’t quit your day job” is so popular. And so often followed.

That’s also why so many advise against following your inner guidance. Even though doing so can work, our infrastructure is built against people doing that.

But that’s changing.

Meanwhile, Marling shows the best human output comes from following one’s inner guidance. So the question is, are you following yours?

Want to? Here’s where to start.

 

How To Have Easy Conversations With Conservative People

Joshua Ness Converstation FB blog
Photo: Joshua Ness

There is rancor in America and elsewhere. No time more than today is communication proficiency, self control, presence of mind and command of intention needed.

Also needed: compassion, honesty, openness and vulnerability.

As a progressive, if you’re expecting conservatives bring these, satisfaction is not in your future. Conservatives are scared and for good reason.

When a human being is scared, they do and say irrational things. Scared people try controlling environmental factors by any means necessary. If they’re scared enough, they’ll get violent.

These acts are typical for any human. Not only conservatives.  Progressives verge on similar insecurity-fueled irrationality. The Anti-facists are a great example.

But progressives have no basis for their fear. They are winning.

Conservatives have a LOT of basis for their fear. A biological basis, as we pointed out here. The future – our collective future – offers lots too. It threatens everything they hold dear.

We therefore offer this guide to progressives. Progressives are best positioned to make history. Not by changing conservative minds. But by changing how they approach conservatives.

This guide presents a path forward. Life-changing,  gratifying conversations with conservatives are possible. Conversations that can change opinions are too. These are sorely needed, but they’re not happening today’s social discourse. Not enough anyway.

This opinion-changing must happen on an individual-by-individual basis. Influence on such an insignificant level can change nations.

It’s amazing what happens when a person feels heard. It’s also amazing we get so many positive responses from conservatives, such as this one:

“Thank you for your kind thoughts. It is refreshing to connect with someone with whom I can discuss some of the challenges confronting our society without the rancor too often associated with such discussions. We do have our differences…”

Progressives don’t need to change the world. They need to change their approach.

So what follows describes practical, sure-fire approaches. They will work.

However, you must practice them. Becoming genuinely proficient with them will transform your experience. Not only with your conservative fellow Americans, but anyone you disagree with.

But….and it’s a big one: if you’re not genuine in your desire to form real human bonds with a fellow human being; a human being you right now may consider your existential enemy, you will not get far. Your desire to connect with this other human must be sincere. These are not debating tactics.

 

Your Ground Rules

Before offering the approaches let’s set your ground rules. Your rules of engagement. Not engagement with the prospective conservative. We’ll talk about that later.

These rules of engagement are for how you will engage your humanity and your brain in service of your cause. Which is to connect meaningfully with a human you may currently consider your enemy and, through that connection, have an inspiring positive experience via conversation.

So here are your ground rules:

  1. You will not allow words to trigger your well-honed sensitivity to offense. Words are just that. Words. You are not under threat. Even if a threat is offered, they are words. A real threat is immanent behavior likely resulting in serious personal injury. Not someone’s lips moving. Maintain your calm no matter what is said. Better yet, replace your sensitivity to offense with a healthy sense humor. 
  2. Your goal is connection. Not winning. You are not trying to persuade a conservative to become progressive. Conservatives serve a beneficial purpose within humanity. Your goal is connection. So you can fulfill your primary and secondary intents and commitments, outlined below.
  3. Your primary intent/commitment is: understanding. You must be clear and rigid in your desire to hear, understand and inquire further into what the conservative believes.
  4. Your secondary (but no less important) intent:  finding commonalities between you and your conservative conversation partner.

Follow these ground rules while applying approaches described here. You’ll be stunned as you discover how human conservatives are. Your mind will expand and you’ll understand where conservatives are coming from.

You may even become genuinely compassionate towards conservatives. Rather than claiming to be compassionate while hating conservatives. Hate, annoyance, extreme frustration are not compassion. That’s hypocrisy. If you’re progressive.

 

Distinguishing The Context

Now let’s talk about context. To do so we’ll distinguishing two labels which describe communication between two people. People often confuse one for the other. Doing so, they get in trouble.

You want a conversation with the conservative. The word “conversation” may mean to you the same thing as “discussion”, the other word we’re going to clarify. But these words are NOT the same. They describe two totally different intents, processes, outcomes, contexts and feelings.

One aligns with your intent (presuming you’re wanting connection). The other does not.

 

You want conversation

“Conversation” is a talk, usually an informal one, between two or more people exchanging ideas. You know this. But you may not know the word’s origin. Words’ origins carry their meaning so much better sometimes than their definition. So let’s look at the origin of “conversation”. Here it is:

Screen Shot 2019-03-26 at 05.59.51 AM

Interesting, eh? A conversation then, is something that ends with you having a feeling of “living among, or having intimate familiarity,” with the person with whom you have conversed. This is what you want.  You want a conversation. Not a discussion.

 

Not a discussion

Let’s contrast conversation now with “discussion”. A discussion is “the action or process of talking about something in order to reach a decision or to exchange ideas.”

That sounds laudable. It’s not though.

Not in the context of making a connection with, and understanding another human being.

Discussions don’t breed familiarity. In discussions, you’re just throwing back and forth opinions. Discussions get you nowhere if you’re trying to connect.

But wait, there’s more.

People don’t generally understand what “discussion” connotes. Probably because, like “converstation”, they don’t understand the word’s origin. Here is the origin of the word “discussion”, the noun and verb so you get a clear picture.

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Screen Shot 2019-03-26 at 06.05.02 AM

So the intent of “discussions” is not to gain familiarity and a sense of living among the person you are speaking with. No. Its intent is “to examine by argument, to tear apart, shake or dash to pieces.”

Does that sound like the basis of connection?

We don’t think so either.

· · ·

Progressives and conservatives are not trying to connect. They are tearing each other apart. And the country along with them.

They are discussing. Not conversing.

If you want a groundbreaking interaction with a conservative, you’re going to have to move out of discussion mode and into conversation mode.

Ok?

 

The Right Way To Approach Conservatives

So here are the approaches. They only work if you stridently refuse to be baited. Strive instead for connection and understanding (your ground rules).

If you can’t stick to the ground rules, it’s best you first practice with someone who can role play a conservative until you get the hang of it.

The approach:

  1. Ask more questions than sharing your opinion.
  2. Express over and over your sincere desire to understand their point of view, not to exert yours, until they relent, i.e. realize you really do want to understand them.
  3. Beseech your conservative to stick to answering your questions. If they avoid or refuse to answer your questions, keep (politely) redirecting the conversation back to your questions, or express vulnerability (we’ll offer an example in a moment) that may trigger them reciprocating.
  4. When the conservative answers your question, offer sincere praise and appreciation. It is not standard practice for someone who is fearful and feeling defensive to answer a question, particularly one that demands they be vulnerable. Especially a question asked by someone the responder believes is the enemy of their values. So reward them for taking a risk.
  5. When the person answers your question, and you have praised them, ask more questions. Offer limited information you may want to share. Instead, listen to the person’s answers.
  6. When they answer, take in what they say. Chew on it, prepare a relevant response. Then offer the response in the form of a question or a polite rebuttal supported with examples.
  7. If they ask a question, answer it. If you don’t have an answer, say so. Risk looking stupid. And if they call you stupid or a loser or whatever, remember ground rule number one.
  8. Repeat these steps.

We’re not offering this in a vacuum. It has worked for Perry several times now to remarkable results. Not every time, but often enough to recommend them. We’re offering one complete example that happened on facebook. We’re offering this example because of the documented evidence. Anyone can look at it to see what happened.

Despite Perry misstepping in several moments, the conversation went quite well. Here’s an overview of it:

Perry offered the following Meme on his wall.

meme blog

It’s inaccurate (which the conservative responders pointed out). But the purpose of sharing it was for conversation. Conversation did happen. It ended with the following statement. This from a conservative who at first expressed himself aggressively:

I enjoyed reading your post. We do have more in common it seems….I wish you much success in your endeavors!

This is where you want to end up. It won’t happen every time, but if you practice, you’ll get better at it. Perry screwed up in this facebook exchange a couple times. But he still ended with positive results in line with the above ground rules, objectives/intents.

So we know if you sincerely use these approaches, you’ll find yourself in a new reality. One where conservatives turn out to be human.

Just like you.

 

Don’t Get Triggered

loser comment from Twitter
A conservative defending her life-decisions, then name calling Perry in a tweet.

People who believe conservatively have been trained to be tough. They live in a brutish world where it’s dog eat dog, and survival of the fittest.

Their manner of interaction feels like discussion. Confrontational, gruff, belligerent. Not conversational. At first.

So be prepared for rebuffs, snide accusations, and direct insults. It will sound like you’re talking to Alex Jones, Donald Trump or Rush Limbaugh instead of the person you’re talking with.

After all, for many conservatives, these people are their heroes. So of course they will pattern their discussion style on those peoples’ styles.

Intelligent conservatives, taking a cue from many conservative activist organizational playbooks, such as the college campus-focused Turning Point USA, will try to bait you into losing your control.

Don’t take the bait.

 

Compassion Wins. Always.

Self control is your best friend. Again, if you suck at self control, your best fallback is your leftie compassion.

But if “compassion” is just a word for you, or worse, something you believe you “can’t afford in these times”, which is actually something a progressive told Perry recently, then you’ve already lost.

There is always room for compassion. The best, most effective progressives – Jesus, Ghandi, MLK, Harvey Milk –  have demonstrated this time and time again.

You must contain your disgust. You must respond with vulnerability. Even in the face of their disgust of you (and what they presume you believe).

For example, when Perry clarified errors a conservative made in interpreting Perry’s previous comment, the person offered the following:

I’d like to continue proving my points but you don’t seem too receptive to the logic I’m providing. Your idea of what a necessity is leaves me wondering how much of a privileged life you must have and probably still do live. Many people survive without an education and many walk to jobs or bike. Many live healthy lives without doctors and hospitals. It’s a shame that you don’t seem to have facts to support your assertions, or did I miss them somewhere in your previous posts? Again I appreciate your ‘opinion’ and respectfully disagree with most if not all of them. Assertions without facts to support them lead me to believe that all of your points are opinion based.

In response, Perry could have been triggered as a person of color, being accused of enjoying privilege. Instead, Perry offered vulnerability. How? By acknowledging his privilege:

So now let’s talk about my privilege, which is a funny thing to bring up IMO. But as I said, I’m more than happy to chat about whatever you bring up.

I am privileged. I live in a great country. It has ALWAYS been great. It also can be improved. I live in the west. I live in a democratic society. I get to live pretty much wherever my finances make it possible to live. I have a wife who loves me, pets who adore me. I enjoy the sunshine, the beautiful state of Oregon and all it has to offer. I enjoy clean air, a healthy body and mind. I enjoy clean delicious food my wife makes for me or I make. I enjoy an adventurous life, where I get to spend my time doing pretty much whatever floats my boat. My life is getting better and better as is my prosperity. I realize my eternal nature and from that I know anything is possible.

I’m also male. I’m a “black” male. I came into the world with the perfect timing such that I can enjoy both these in relative security and comfort (compared to other times). I’m also non-binary. I’m free of constraints of being “straight” (thank god!). I have the fluidity of thought to see the world from multiple perspectives, and not just human ones. I have the privilege to have time to think about life – ordinary day-to-day life, but also extraordinary aspects of life, such as what happens after death and how all that happens after death (and before birth) shapes what happens between birth and death. I have found those answers. From those answers, I know things a LOT of people don’t know. So yeah, I’m privileged. But no more than anyone can be. I can pretty much do right now, whatever floats my boats.

It just so happens, what floats my boats is creating a world where EVERYONE has the opportunity to do whatever THEY want to float THEIR boats….

You can’t be vulnerable if you’re triggered. You can’t offer cogent thoughtful replies either when you’re triggered. When you get triggered, you offer fodder confirming conservative beliefs about you and other progressives (liberals). Don’t be this guy:

Offer Food For Thought

Once you have earned their attention by thoughtfully, calmly and constructively listening to, and then expressing understanding, only then should you offer “food for thought”.

Food for thought is not telling them they are wrong. This isn’t about right and wrong. Your food for thought should be an attempt to surface their human connection to other humans…even ones they believe aren’t worthy of that connection.

So for example, when a conservative says people who don’t work are parasites and deserve to starve, you must figure out a way to show how a person can do whatever he wants (even not work, for example) but shouldn’t have to starve. Or worse, work a job but not afford healthcare.

If you can’t do that, you have no basis for making such a claim. And a conservative will tell you.

Some conservatives (many people actually) view people negatively. Conservatives particularly believe people are lazy good-for-nuthins. People must earn their living by doing productive work, they believe. These beliefs aren’t factual. They’re conditioned or taught, which is exactly what a conservative told Perry recently:

…Maybe it’s because i’ve been conditioned to believe a certain way or possibly my life experience has taught me to be cautious….

A good way to chart unknown territory with a conservative: appeal to their well-known territory (for the conservative). That is, talk about liberty. But not the way conservatives talk about it.

Liberty as you may know, is a major conservative talking point. But the kind of liberty (aka “freedom”) conservatives believe in is a kind of pseudo-freedom. It’s not really freedom as it is based on coercion: As far as conservatives believe, your freedom doesn’t extend to being a lazy parasite on society. Another way of putting that is: your freedom shouldn’t cost me or anyone else. So pull your own weight.

The response to this point is: “you’re right. And in the 21st Century no one’s freedom should cost anyone anything. This is the future. Everything is possible.”

· · ·

Perry likes offering this tasty morsel, which creates amazing moments that, at first, stupefies conservatives. But then leads to remarkable, real, conversations.

It begins with Perry’s definition of real freedom:

“A person who is really free can do nothing if that’s what they want to do. A person who wants to spend all their time learning to paint, play video games all day, or fish or whatever, can. And they can do those things (or anything else) without going hungry, living on the street, or getting care for their body (or mind) if necessary. If they’re free that is. They can also get all the education they need or want to learn or improve any skill while doing whatever they want without having to earn money to get those things. And…the person exercising their freedom can do so without anyone else having to do anything they don’t want to do to support that person.”

A definition like that will short circuit most people’s brains (conservative and progressive) namely because most people can’t figure out how this kind of freedom is possible. Perry explains how this is possible. Then shows how the world is careening towards exactly that outcome for everyone.

Your food for thought, therefore, must halt a conservative’s talking points in its tracks. It must get them genuinely thinking. Not spouting conservative boilerplate.

Another example: Perry was at a Starbucks recently. There he happened to sit in a nest of conservatives. That wasn’t his intent. It just happened.

One of the conservative’s asked “what do you do for a living?”

“I don’t do anything for a living,” Perry said.  “I don’t believe my living requires me to do anything.”

This conservative’s friend, Mary, piped in.

“So you’re a socialist,” She said.

“No. I’m not,” Perry said.

“Then what are you?” Mary asked.

Knowing Mary was likely a conservative, and therefore Christian (which she was) Perry said “I am what Jesus is.”

That derailed Mary’s train of thought. Now Mary had to ask a question likely not included in her talking points:

“What do you mean?” She asked.

“I am that I am,” Perry said.

The conversation turned to Christianity. Perry is not Christian, but he is well-versed on fundamental accuracies upon which Christianity’s distortions are based.

So he was able to form a connection with Mary through her religious beliefs. Then he turned the conversation towards Christian compassion. He was about to ask Mary if her compassion extends to immigrants and if not why not.

But Mary ran out of time (she had to catch a plane).

Still, you can see, by not getting baited into a debate about “socialism” and name calling, and instead connecting with something Mary held dear (her Christian beliefs), Perry found room in between Mary’s boilerplate about people who she prejudges as “socialists”.

You can do this too.

And not only will the conversations you have stun you in their originality, you’ll learn that underneath all that lashing out, anger and conservative closed-mindedness is a human being wanting to be understood and connected with.

That is the short answer to this entire approach. Giving conservatives what they want, so their minds open.

· · ·

If progressives really want the world they want, they must find a way to give conservatives what they want.

Until you know what that is, you can’t give it to them. And you can’t know unless you understand them. And, you can’t understand them unless you’re willing to talk with them.

And finally, if your approach is based on not understanding justified conservative fear that they’re losing everything, and that’s why they are lashing out, you’re going to have a hard time having a conversation with them.

Rancor in America and elsewhere can be mended. But you can’t expect conservatives to make the first step.

Someone has to though. That someone can be you. And this guide can help.

How To Read Successful People’s Success Stories

Clark Tibbs do something great FB blog
Photo: Clark Tibbs On Unsplash

There are so many people out there offering success recipes.

Facebook, YouTube and other social media advertisement services opened the flood gates. Now, anyone with a success story and some digital tools can hawk their “proven” success tips.

Then there are the “Uber Successsful.”

Millions follow Uber Successfuls, with stardom in their eyes. They want wealth, happiness, the good life. Celebrity.

Anthony Robbins, Gary Vaynerchuk, Arnold Schwarzenegger and many others, offer how their hard work, persistence and vision made them successful.

You can do what they did, they say…

But…

Successfuls, both minor and major camouflage how easy success really is. They don’t do it on purpose. So if you want success, listen to these people. But first, learn how to read their stories.

Drop quote blog
Photo: Annie Spratt On Unsplash

Successfuls don’t understand the “how” of their success. That’s why their recipes emphasize what’s irrelevant and downplay success’ ingredients.

Learn to read the typical success story though, and you unlock real doors to success. Like successful people promise.

· · ·

Take Arnold Schwarzenegger. Everyone knows his success. Watch this video, seen many millions of times across the internet. In it, Arnold distills his success to five essential rules.

Fortunately, none of the rules he offers made him successful. Want Arnold’s success? Let’s distill what really happened.

Generally, successful people like Arnold suggest specific action. Action you must take to get results. Actions they say will make you successful. While focusing on action, they gloss over the secrets. Secrets all successful people use (and we do mean all).

The reason they don’t speak plain about them? Most aren’t aware what they are. They call them “lucky breaks”, or “chance” or “fortunate events”.

A few come close, but miss, attributing success to “God”.

The rest ascribe 80-90 percent of their success to their hard work, their actions, what they knew or who they knew. They assign 20 percent, or less, to “luck”.

Here’s what’s remarkable about that: it’s the opposite.

Ninety percent or more of their success was “luck”. Effort represents a minuscule percentage.

That means, your success depends on “luck” too.

· · ·

Here’s the good news: It’s not luck.

Success happens via direct, deliberate easy-to-use processes. Processes you control. Processes Successfuls use. That means, any outcome you want is possible.

You don’t need luck. You only need to know the processes. Then you can manufacture “luck” at will.

More good news: It’s impossible not to be successful. That’s because you already know how the processes work. You’ve only temporarily forgotten.

(photo of person thinking)

You listened to the video. Notice Arnold ascribing all his success to his five rules? Notice his casual references about where luck mattered?

Probably not. But we did. Let’s recap.

How Arnold’s Success (And Every Other Success) Really Happens

At 00:25, Arnold introduces his success “rules”. These rules, he says, work for anyone. “Rules” imply things you must do. They also imply things you must not do (don’t break the rules).

Don’t follow the rules, Arnold says.  You won’t be successful. Or happy!

But life doesn’t work that way. You are eternal. It’s not possible to “not be successful”.

Eternity has no finish line. You always get do overs. There’s a second chance, a third, a fourth, fifth, sixth…etc., on through eternity.

do over blog
Every next moment is a change to start anew.  (Meme: By the author)

 

But when you think “oh boy, there are RULES I’m going to have to follow?” that lengthens your success path.

There are no rules you must follow.

At around 00:38, Arnold describes Rule #1: “Find” your vision and follow it.

Have no vision or goal, he says, and you’ll drift around and not be happy.

Arnold says, if you don’t “find” your vision, you’re lost. But he doesn’t explain “how” to find your vision. Maybe he didn’t have time to explain. Perhaps he doesn’t know how.

Visions or goals aren’t something you “find”. You can’t help but have them! Life experiences evoke from within you unending desires. THOSE ARE YOUR VISIONS. Arnold describes this, but not in his rules. Instead he buries it in his life story.

Though Life Experience Visions Are Automatic

After Germany and Austria’s defeat in World War II, Arnold wanted escape. He wanted out of war-torn Europe. That was his first vision! His first goal. Did he have to “find” it?

No!

His life experience drew it from him.

That’s how your life works. From your experiences you birth visions and dreams. Visions sometime feel like dislikes. Arnold disliked Austria. He wanted to escape. That was his vision. He didn’t need to find it!

Arnold’s rule number one is wrong. There’s no “finding” your vision. They come automatically.

Yet, less than a minute into his speech, Arnold reveals secret number one. At 00:54 after knowing he wanted to escape, he “luckily” watched a documentary about America.

Arnold Revealing Secrets 1 blog
Arnold Giving up the secrets. You always know Successfuls share  real secrets when they use keywords such as “luck” or “fortunate”. (Photo credit: YouTube/Goalcast)

Was this luck?

If it was, then you’re screwed.

Because luck only happens to the lucky!

Good news: it wasn’t luck! This is how life works for everyone.

Arnold had life experience. Life experience clarified his vision. Get out of Austria. But he didn’t know how or “to where”. His Broader Perspective did though. His Broader Perspective arranged his life to include the documentary. It was not “luck”. The film showed up on purpose.

It’s likely Arnold doesn’t know he has a Broader Perspective. So instead of giving credit where it’s due, he called it “luck”.

When successful people tell success stories, keep listening for keywords like “luck”. When they use such words, they’re giving up secrets. Their secrets are not actions, advice or rules you must follow.

Only one thing makes you successful: lining up with you Broader Perspective. It is arranging your success all the time. Your Broader Perspective always speaks to you. Most of the time, you’re not listening…Successful people find a way to listen.

Successful people would have no stories to tell without Broader Perspective’s involvement.

· · ·

Ask any successful person you know if they could predict when, where and from whom these “lucky breaks” would happen. Every person will say “no”. Human awareness is too small to know.  It’s too small to arrange billions of events, and resources becoming your life. Including people who’s ideas will benefit you. Ideas those people haven’t even had yet!

Trippy, right?

All this is beyond normal human perception. Right up until such events become reality. But it’s child’s play for your Broader Perspective.

After seeing the documentary, Arnold “knew that is exactly where I wanted to end up” he says. Young Arnold got excited. “Excited” is an emotion. Emotions tell you you’re on your way to success. That’s their purpose.

Arnold was on his success path. He felt positive, excited. All he had to do now was keep following his vision as it evolved. Broader Perspective would do the heavy lifting (pun intended). It would create one event after another.

When strung together, Arnold would find himself successful.

It’s that easy. It’s so easy, you can do it.

So did Arnold have to “find” the vision of “ending up in America”? Nope. Then why do you?

Next, he asked “how will I get there?” The answer already existed. His Broader Perspective already held the experience “ending up in America”. It already had shaped many paths leading to America. Paths including people who could help Arnold get there.

It didn’t matter Arnold didn’t know how he would get there. Just by asking the question, he matched his Broader Perspective’s “knowing”.

What happened next reveals another secret having nothing to do with Arnold’s effort.

At 1:09, Arnold says: “…One day I was fortunate enough to see a bodybuilding magazine…” In the magazine, he says, he read an article about Reg Park, a former Mr. Universe.

Another keyword blog
Arnold’s second clue. The keyword “fortunate” always points to knowledge, the speaker is unware they have. (Photo: YouTube/Goalcast)

“Fortunate” is another keyword. When Successfuls uses this word, perk up. Here’s what they’re saying. “I don’t know how the heck this happened, but it made me successful, so pay attention, I’m telling you the secret”.

Arnold couldn’t get himself out of Austria on his own. He had no idea “how”. He had no money. No one did. He had no idea “where” he’d go.

But his Broader Perspective had answers to how and who and where. The documentary, then Reg Park were answers Arnold wanted.

Arnold got inspired. He felt excitement. In his excitement, he primed the next major event. The more positively focused you are, the quicker things happen.

At 01:22 Arnold says “I read the article as fast as I could”. Park’s success boosted Arnold’s enthusiasm. You could say Park and Arnold share the same nonphysical origins. Park’s experience pointed the way for Arnold’s ambitions. Through Park’s example, Arnold realized his own path.

Life works like this for everyone. It is not luck. It is not fortune. It is not random. You have life experience. It spurs desire. Broader Perspective makes it real at once.

You don’t experience that realness as immediate as your Broader Perspective. Why?

Because desires become real slower in physical reality than in nonphysical. In nonphysical, things become things immediately.

It’s a good thing it’s different here. Too much crazy stuff would happen otherwise. But that’s another story.

Just know that your success happens exactly as Arnold’s. Not successful yet? You will be, after you learn how do to what Arnold did. Not what he says he did. What he actually did.

In other words, no rules.

Arnold describes Park “all of a sudden” landing “in Rome. He’s doing Hercules movies” after training and winning Mr. Universe.

But Park’s success (and Arnold’s) didn’t happen “all of a sudden”. It happened over time. “All of a sudden” is a keyword phrase. During that time, did Park or Arnold work hard? Struggle? Sacrifice? We don’t know about Park.

But that’s how Arnold describes it. If you watch Arnold’s training footage, however, you would see he wasn’t working hard.

It didnt matter blog
Note the yellow box. Arnold acknowledges his “hard work” and “struggle” “didn’t matter”. (Photo: YouTube/Goalcast)

More likely, he was enjoying it. That’s how he explains it. But you must listen carefully.

At 2:04 he says hard work wasn’t part of the equation. Nor struggle. “It didn’t matter” he said. Why? Because he found his passion. Meaning: he knew he was on his path.

· · ·

Let’s summarize so far. Here are the first steps to everyone’s success:

  1. Your desires, automatically surface through life experience. These are your visions/goals.
  2. Now you know what you want. That moment, your Broader Perspective becomes that. It then sends you clues via intuition, events and circumstances spurring your desire. It’s never full blown desire fulfillment. It’s bread crumbs on a path.

Watch Arnold’s speech again. See if you can ignore Arnold’s rules. Instead, tune in to keywords in his story. Keywords indicating how Arnold (and every successful person) unknowingly reveals real secrets. Secrets so secret, even Successfuls don’t know them. Even though they share them.

Arnold’s “rules” had nothing to do with his success.

Speed Builds As Success Gets Bigger

Later in his speech, Arnold’s early successes inspire even bigger desires. He’s had some success. He’s feeling confident. So he shoots for bigger dreams.

At 2:30 he talks about being another John Wayne. But he wouldn’t be able to have had that grand vision had he not started with his smaller one: leaving war-torn Austria.

That dream got fulfilled when he first saw the documentary, then read the magazine. By then, he knew how (follow Park’s example) and where (go to America).

So Arnold didn’t follow Rule #2: Never ever think small. He thinks he followed it, but his first thought wasn’t huge. It wasn’t “become the next John Wayne.” It was “get out of Austria.”

Not “become the next Mr. Universe”.

Not “Become a movie star”.

Just: get out of Austria. Where? “I don’t know!” How? “I don’t know, I just want to escape!”

When you have a small goal, it’s just as big as a big goal, because small goals lead to bigger ones. You don’t have to start with a big one. Start where you are.

Arnold didn’t have a big goal to start. He started where he was.

You don’t have to have big dreams.

Next we come to Arnold’s Rule #3: ignore the naysayers.

Arnold didn’t follow this rule either. He did listen. Why do you think he took english classes, accent removal classes, diction classes…

Meanwhile Arnold’s Broader Perspective delivers what Arnold calls “a little break”.

But it actually was a massive real-ization: a part in a TV show.

That part lead to Pumping Iron, which made Arnold niche famous.

Then Stay Hungry came.

By this time, Arnold’s dreams blossomed more and more. The more real they got, the happier and more confident Arnold got. Arnold’s attention turned to bigger and more exciting dreams and desires. How? His dreaming capacity increased with each previously fulfilled goal.

Again, that’s how life works.

Conan The Barbarian: The Big Break

Then came Conan The Barbarian. Let’s talk about Conan the Barbarian, something Arnold calls “the big break”.

Conan the barbarian poster blog
The Epic Conan Poster.

 

Arnold says it came “finally”. As though he had been waiting a long time.

But he’s not recognizing every fulfilled desire preceding this famous movie. Each fulfilled desire made the next possible. Fulfilled dreams come in succession. Not in a Big Bang.

Conan was impossible before Stay Hungry. Stay Hungry: impossible before Pumping Iron. Pumping Iron: impossible before that TV role. All Arnold’s acting, impossible before his preparation. His preparation, impossible before winning Mr. Universe. Winning Mr. Universe, impossible were it not for Reg Park and the magazine article. The magazine article, impossible before the documentary. The documentary, impossible before wanting to escape. Wanting to escape, impossible before the aftermath of WWII.

A long series of manifestations, one leading to the other, made Conan The Barbarian possible. Including events having nothing to do with Arnold.

That’s important!

First, there had to be a Conan The Barbarian concept. Original Conan stories were first published in 1932. That’s fifteen years before Arnold was even born (1947)!

The Conan stories then had to become comic books. They started out as fantasy stories. Not comic books.

Frank Frazetta, a famous fantasy artist, was born in 1928. Well before Arnold could have known about Reg Park. Frazetta’s art became famous. According to Wikipedia, “His interpretation of Conan visually redefined the genre of sword and sorcery, and had an enormous influence on succeeding generations of artists.”

In other words, Frazetta’s art boosted Conan’s mystique.

Somewhere along the line, the Conan fantasy inspired a future movie director. All these events happened well before Arnold started acting!

See?

Many events, inspirations, sparks of imaginations. Imaginations happening well before Arnold was born!

Then, came Arnold’s tiny dream: Get heck out of Austria.

Conan was monumental. Note how Arnold describes it. We’re pasting his verbatim commentary so you can read it without the video. It’s thrilling:

“…You know what was so interesting about it was the director said that at the press conference, if we wouldn’t have had Schwarzenegger with those muscles, we would have had to build one.”

Then, about Terminator:

“James Cameron said, the “I’ll be back” line became the most famous movie lines in history because of Arnold’s crazy accent because he sounded like a machine!”

Here’s what we wrote before about these kinds of events. Events organized by your Broader Perspective:

“When your Broader Perspective organizes events in your life, it works with other people’s Broader Perspectives. Your Broader Perspective has your best interests in mind. Other people’s Broader Perspectives have your interests in mind too. And vice versa. So when a person shows up in your life, they agreed, through their Broader Perspective, to be there. In being there, they get what they are wanting. Even as you get what you want. Everyone in any situation gets the same thing: what they want.  There are no exceptions to this.”

That director’s Broader Perspective, and James Cameron’s Broader Perspective, Frank Frazetta’s Broader Perspective, Reg Park’s Broader Perspective….were and are working with Arnold’s Broader Perspective. Such coordination got/is getting everyone what they wanted/want.

Did you get a little shiver down your spine, or goose bumps across your body?

That’s your Broader Perspective agreeing with us. Because what we’re sharing with you is 100 percent accurate. You have control over this process. Let’s review the steps adding steps three and four:

  1. Your desires surface through life experience. These are your visions/goals. It’s automatic.
  2. Now you know what you want. That moment, your Broader Perspective becomes that. It then sends you clues via intuition, events and circumstances spurring more desire. It’s never full blown desire fulfillment. It’s bread crumbs on a path.
  3. You must now merge with your Broader Perspective. You’ll then hear clues and perceive event chains. These event chains are desires fulfilled over time. How do you know you’re merged? You are positively focused. You are happy, appreciative, joyful, excited, inspired. All these tell you you’re merged.
  4. Watch what happens. Celebrate when desires get fulfilled, then move back to step one.

These basic steps make all Successfuls successful. Your success equals anyone on any stage telling you about their success. Working hard isn’t required.

You only need to do what they did. Not what they say they did.

Your success may not look like Arnold’s, or any other’s success. Your life is unique. You’re not here succeed like others. You’re here to succeed in your way.

Successful people don’t share secrets of their success directly. That’s because they don’t know the secrets. Instead they talk about what they did. They encourage you to do what they did. They don’t tell you it’s not about doing. Success is about being. Being merged with your Broader Perspective.

That’s the secret.

Now you know. Now you can listen to their experiences, tune out the irrelevant 10 percent. Then tune in the 90 percent that made them successful.

Pain endurance: unnecessary.

Everything Arnold did, he did because he wanted to. He enjoyed it. Here’s why he says otherwise. Like many successful people, he doesn’t understand how he got success. Instead he justifies his success. How? By saying he found his vision, worked his ass off, didn’t listen to anyone and endured pain. Performing altruism is a nice touch. But as you know, many successful people become altruistic after succeeding.

None of those things made him successful.

What made him successful were “lucky” breaks, big and small. Those and “fortunate” events impossible to arrange on his own.

Those events his Broader Perspective arranged. Yours can too.

We invite you to listen again to Arnold’s story. Or any successful person’s story. See if you can tune out the rules. Tune out what they said they did, and listen to the 90 percent their Broader Perspective did for them.

Arnold’s story is inspiring. But ignore his advice. Learn to read his story correctly. Hear the “hidden message” to turn inward. Listen to your own Broader Perspective. Merge with it. Then chart your own delightful path.

How? By staying positively focused.

Need more help? That’s why we’re here.