Iāve added yet another running series āQ/Aā to my blog. Itās…well…about answering questions I get through the internets and sharing those answers with others as they may help others feel inspired and more connected to the God they are.
Question: What does it mean to have a soul?
I personally donāt use the word “soul”, but what it attempts to mean is the non-physical counterpart that is a part of the wholeness that is āweā, the oneness of all things.
What “soul” points to comprises a boundary-less component of all of us. It is that āonenessā new-agers casually reference. I prefer “Broader Perspective” in describing the place from which we all emerge from and return to.
Even āemerge from and return toā distorts what really happens. No separation exists between us here in physical reality and that broader part of us remaining in non-physical reality. So we don’t emerge or return. Instead, we shift perspectives from one to the other. And that shift happens constantly.
Distortions abound…oh my!
Besides, when some people use “soul”, it automatically conjures aĀ ābelief constellationā. And that constellation of beliefs includes other words, values, meanings, judgements and conclusions. All of these distort one’s understanding.
Here are other words conveying distorted understanding:
God
The devil
Heaven
Hell
Salvation
Damnation
Sin
Forgiveness
Separation
Subservience
Less than (God)
Deservedness
Undeservedness
The need to earn love/acceptance
The failure to ean love/acceptance
Worthiness
Unworthiness
Right
Wrong
Good
Bad
Evil
Holy
Possession
Ownership
Losing the soul
Selling the soul
All these concepts offer distortions. And all these distortions start with the world “soul”.
Thatās why I donāt use the word “Soul”.
Don’t distort what is
Most words listed represent distorted human beliefs layered over All That Is’ purity. They donāt belong in conversations about All That Is because they give wrong impressions about All That Is.
That’s why I say āsoulā usually muddies the conversation. Two people rarely hold similar frames of reference. Especially regarding “soul”. Because of that, “soul” frustrates understanding more than it illuminates.
I also know people use words like these as expedients. After all, many find difficult talking about nonphysical. Probably because verbal descriptions fall short in describing All That Is magnificence.
And maybe that’s a clue. Maybe, instead of talking about it, we could just experience it in silence and let it be within us all.
My clients love it when they create convincing results. I love it too because I also delight in the evidence. With many clients these days, all practicing being positively focused, my own evidence, my knowing, gets doubly confirmed with client evidence.
Seven months ago, K.J. said he missed performing piano before live audiences. He especially enjoyed performing in supper clubs. COVID-19 put the kibosh on that.
He also lost his blogging job and old beliefs told him he had to āearn a livingā at a āreal jobā instead of enjoying playing music. Those beliefs created fear, discomfort and insecurity as he used up his savings. So, like any non-Positively Focused person, he believed his doing ā job hunting ā took priority over enjoying life.
Getting fired leads to better life approaches.
Just starting out back then, K.J. owned many negative beliefs about most things, which kept many of his desires from him. I canāt go into more detail than that for privacy reasons, but K.J. was extremely frustrated about his life.
Still, when a person has desire, that desire fulfills itself whether the desire-er experiences its fulfillment or not. That meant in a probable future, K.J. already performs in front of a live audience at a supper club. He also enjoys steady income from many fulfilling avenues.
When the desire-er gets out of the way, then desire fulfillment shows itself as part of the desire-erās reality. For K.J., experiencing a joyful life springing out of his unhappy one, meant him getting out of the way. That, of course, meant becoming Positively Focused.
For a while, K.J.ās beliefs forced him into job hunting. The problem was as an over-fifty unemployed male, beliefs K.J. had made that road very rough. āEarning a livingā again and āgetting a real jobā was going to be a long, tough row to hoe.
Fuel for that unsatisfying fire came as long-held held beliefs K.J.’s father drilled into his head. He told his son regularly āyou’ll never make a living as a musicianā and “get a REAL job!”
As you likely know, dear reader, plenty of people make good livings as musicians, but K.J., steeped in his father’s beliefs, his own miserable life experiences and his seemingly unfulfilled desires, couldn’t see these numerous exceptions.
Losing one’s job can be a very good thing (Photo by Yawer Waani on Unsplash)
Family heirlooms of thought
Everybody at some point struggles with beliefs they unwittingly adopt while children. Those formative years create strong reality-creating ripples through life. As children, we naturally understand universal laws, but parents – sometimes – literally beat such understanding out of us.
So parents pass to children limiting beliefs like heirlooms passed from generation to generation. Such “thought heirlooms” keep fulfilled desires at bay until (ideally) we realign with them as adults. That’s usually what’s behind “mid-life crises”.
The easiest way alignment to fulfilled desires happens, happens through reducing resistance created by such heirloom beliefs. Thatās what being Positively Focused is all about.
Steady improvement starts immediately
Over the next seven months K.J. and I exposed many beliefs no longer serving him. He saw how they create realities inconsistent with what he wants. At the same time we created new beliefs more aligned with what he wants.
I knew the work was working because K.J. showed up over those seven months increasingly happier, lighter and less worried about getting a job, income and things in his life he hated. He spoke more about what he wanted rather than what was. When he did talk about what was, he found more and more positive aspects in those things.
As he complained less about things, they improved. He realized he had enough saved, so money wasn’t as dire an issue as originally thought. The more he relaxed, the better he felt. Feeling better, he saw more improvement in his life. The more that happened, the more he turned to his passions. Such as playing piano and writing.
Step two shows the earliest manifestation evidence that your desires are fulfilling themselves. In other words, your feelings tell you everything you need to know.
Feeling better is a sign
K.J. knew his life improved long before physical evidence showed itself. Thatās because he felt better. He knew this meant physical improvement would follow. Patience was all that was needed.
Improvement evidence showed itself not long after as he indulged in writing projects and music. He spent more time doing these things instead of complaining and job hunting. Then he stopped looking for a job altogether, gave up worrying about money and focused nearly all his waking time on having fun. That relieved a lot of resistance about things he wanted.
One of the beliefs in the way was his creative work wasnāt worth sharing. He believed his creative expression had value only in its perfect form. We worked a lot on this. Over time, he started “busking”, performing for free on the waterfront for passersby at a local restaurant.
K.J. out busking on the waterfront.
As K.J. performed, his comfort grew. With increasing comfort came greater ease and confidence at the keys. His music improved and people began filling his tip jar. He took more and more money home each weekend. People would stop and tell them how much they appreciated him being there.
That confidence spilled over to his writing. He started sharing excerpts of his novels online. As he did, gradually more and more people expressed appreciation for his sharing.
Manifestation came from around a blind corner
Recently, he turned to doing Facebook live stream musical performances. The first couple of times no one joined him. The third time one or two people showed up. K. J. kept at it, intending that, no matter how many or how few showed, he’d find enjoyment in sharing.
No one showed up for the next live stream. But the time after that, several people attended and commented copiously about his performance.
A supper club owner was one of those people. The next morning, K.J. found a text message on his phone from the supper club owner. Here’s what it said:
K.J. shouted (to himself) in jubilance. He did not realize the connection between what he asked for seven months ago, what he created when he expressed a desire to perform in front of live audiences again, and the text message.
Once I reminded him, he got it. And when he did, we both amplified the recognition.
Charmed Lives await everyone
When one understands how reality springs from thoughts, itās fun seeing desires fulfill themselves before one’s eyes. It needn’t take seven months, but good reasons explain why sometimes it takes a long time…or sometimes never happens.
If someone does not understand how reality creation happens, reality still plays out right before their eyes, but what they get instead of what they want is whatever they believe.
This is why being positively focused is important, if a person wants a Charmed Life. When a person is positively focused, understanding how reality is created, they gradually see all desires fulfilling themselves. Desires big and small.
What thrills me most about K.J.ās manifestation is both the confirmation and his joy. In his joy I see my own, as my own manifestations reveal themselves to me in the same way his reveal themselves to him.
And isnāt this co-creation at its best? Sharing and reveling together with someone who knows what you know, thereby joyfully co-creating an experience where both parties get the joy and the fun?
Itās fun being a deliberate creator. Even more fun is when the deliberate creation happens in the company of another.
Iād say it doesnāt get any better than this. But I know life always gets better. That is, when one is positively focused.
The reason it takes so long for what we want to become what we have, is because we want what we want. That sounds crazy, I know. But when a person becomes positively focused, they realize wanting what they want becomes the biggest impediment to getting it.
Thatās because wanting what one wants focuses a person on the desire to have the thing. I know that sounds like the most obvious thing to do. The problem is, wanting something puts attention on the fact that it’s not there.
That is why one wants something after all – or at least one reason – one doesn’t have it, right? But one wants it.
But when a person thinks they are wanting what they want, what theyāre actually doing is putting attention on the fact that they donāt have it.
An important thing to consider when doing this āyou create your realityā business is, one doesnāt get what one wants, one gets what one focuses on, or puts their attention on. So itās really important knowing where one puts oneās attention.
Yearning burning desire sucks.
Most of us think when we feel strong desire, that desire tells us we want what we desire. Often, desire feels like āyearningā. Sometimes people will say āI want X so bad!ā
The problem with wanting something so bad, or yearning for it, is that strong desire or yearning tells the person their attention is in the wrong place.
And when oneās attention is in the wrong place, they can’t get what they want.
This is why people work hard to get what they want. They have split energy. They want what they want, but they don’t get “wanting” works against them.
Another reason people must work hard is resistance. But we can throw “wanting” into the āresistanceā bucket. It acts just like resistance.
How it can work
Getting what one wants requires focusing on what it feels like to get what one wants. That sounds super crazy, doesn’t it? Isnāt focusing on what one wants focusing on what one wants? If not, what does it feel like to want what one wants?
It feels like having what one wants. Creating the reality where one has what they want, requires creating the incipient reality from which the wanted emerges.
Do that and evidence of what is wanted reveals itself.
In the following video I give a detailed description of how this all works. It is one of the core elements of the āmagicā of deliberate creation.
Only itās not magic. Itās just how life works when one is positively focused.
20 minutes of wisdom…
Life can be fun. It can be easy. Life can be full of experiences where one witnesses their desires fulfilling themselves. Thatās how life is supposed to be. For in the self fulfillment of desires one realizes one’s worthiness. That worthiness feels like self-appreciation, self-love, deservedness.
It feels like the universe has you at the center of it and it’s showering you with everything you desire.
And, of course, thatās exactly whatās going on.
When one discovers the Charmed Life of living positively focused, life becomes joyful, easy and fun.
Thatās how everyone on the planet today knew life would be like before they came here.
This is a positively focused series called “journal entries” for when I experience something I write about in my journal I think others might benefit from reading. This is a continuation of that series.
From my journal – Thursday, Apr. 15, 2021
I love being on my freedom adventure
I love finding what I like, attending to it, then watching it reveal itself to me. I like soothing resistance so what I like reveals more of itself to me. I like pointing out what I want, seeing Universe shape to that, then seeing that show itself to me.
I like when it happens in dreams. I like when it happens in wake state. When it happens in wake state I like it even more. Wake state realization feels great. Dream state feels best though. I know thatās because little resistance happens when Iām there, but I also know I can enjoy dream state feelings in wake state to the degree I soothe my resistance….particularly resistance I have about resistance.
Life affirms me and my desires
I like so many things showing themselves to me. I appreciate appreciating that. Seeing those things tells me Iām succeeding at lowering my resistance. That feels good knowing that.
But itās even better-feeling seeing results of lowered resistance. In lower resistance I see what I want, happen.
Thatās affirming.
My life is affirmed. Love Universe has for me is affirmed. My deservedness is affirmed. My worthiness is affirmed. My divinity is affirmed. I am affirmed.
My life: eternally more
And in all that affirmation, I know, for certain, I create my reality.
Thereās always more to know, thereās always more joy to come, thereās always more to appreciate. More is my eternal life, always moving into more. Always seeing fruits of my desires showing themselves to me.
And so I relax in my now, increasingly clear. There is no rush. There is no pressure. There are no deadlines. All is well. Life is good.
I love it when universe shows me that I am the center of it all, and that it has all its eyes on me. I love it too when being Positively Focused produces for me the Charmed Life I guarantee my clients get. What happened this morning is a perfect example of how that looks.
The following seems incredible. But it is what happens when one chronically connects with oneās Broader Perspective, then lives from that perspective, rather than from the limited human perspective.
The incredible becomes every day
This morning, as with every morning, I focused myself into a highly Positively Focused place. I love starting the day this way because when I do so, the rest of the day matches that focus level.
It was no surprise then that one of my clients, Holly, reached out to me right after I came out of my morning practice. The exchange we had was wonderful.
Holly had been facing old belief constellations triggering fear in her emotional Being. We talked about these feelings over the weekend, through which she gained ground on these old beliefs. She felt better after we talked.
So this morning Holly did what I encourage most of my clients do: she found a better feeling place through focusing on thoughts. She felt so good about what she found, she shared it with me.
My client sharing her wonderful awareness.
I love interacting with my clients. I love it when we interact with one another between sessions, because then we both can relish and revel in manifestations happening ongoingly in each others lives.
By reveling in ongoing manifestations, we create the upward spiral of benefit that results from the revelation.
In other words, the more my clients and I appreciate manifestations we see, the more manifestations we will see. And the more manifestations we will see, the more manifestations we will want to see.
And if we keep reveling in manifestations as they occur, it is not very long before we begin experiencing the Charmed Life I guarantee.
What happen next though, not only proved that, it also was so delightful it not only prompted delight on my part and Hollyās part, but also prompted this blog post.
Iām getting ahead of myself š
Back to this wonderful manifestation: So I immediately wrote back to Holly, feeling the same mirth and joy she felt:
My responses and her loving my response as I loved hers. Everything happening perfectly.
Of course, Holly reveled in my response of reveling in her sharing. Can you see the upward spiral beginning?
Then this happened
Next Holly shared something that took this awesome experience we both shared to a whole new level. She related a conversation she had with a friend of hers, who also happens to be a Positively Focused client:
A Client raves to Holly about her experience with being my client š¤£
When she shared this, I got the impulse to check my calendar. I checked it and noticed that a potential client, āScottā had scheduled a free one-on-one session for this afternoon. Then I got the impulse to suggest to Holly that she share Tayloreās experience with Scott who Holly knows.
Since I received an āimpulseā to do that, I didnāt care whether or not she follow through on the suggestion. Hereās what she wrote in response nonetheless:
Holly considers my impulse.
Meanwhile, I wrote an introductory text to Scott thanking him for setting up a free session and confirming our time this afternoon. The exchange was quite extraordinary, given the context of my conversation with my current client, Holly:
Welcoming my newest client and the extraordinary response he made given my ongoing conversation with my current client. This allowed Holly to share Taylore’s comment with him in person before our free 1:1 session.
What was happening?
Holly and I were seeing in real time the massive coordination occurring in non-physical reality. Here was my Broader Perspective, Hollyās Broader Perspective, Tayloreās Broader Perspective, and my potential new clientās Broader Perspective all coordinating in real time a series of events that delighted both Holly and I. It was an awesome demonstration of how the universe works.
So I wrote back to Holly and shared what Scott said. Of course we both laughed at the unfolding manifestation.
Scott’s request to reschedule enabled Holly to share Taylore’s experience with him.
And of course, since I encourage my clients to revel in manifestations, and since Iām not a hypocrite, I wanted to revel in this unfolding manifestation too. I knew if Holly also reveled in it, we would collectively amplify the revelation.
Me doing the work, and my client doing the same.
And of course, my new potential client Scott, appreciated the unfolding as well, even though he had no idea what was going on on the other side of the exchange.
The universe is always delivering to us everything we are wanting in real time. The only thing keeping that stream from being realized by us are thoughts and beliefs standing in the way of allowing that stream.
What thoughts and beliefs? You may be thinking them now. They sound like:
This is all coincidental
This is confirmation bias happening
This is just luck
This doesn’t happen all the time
This is nothing, if this works, why aren’t you rich?
All of these responses are thoughts and beliefs that will prevent you from seeing these delicious events as they are: the Universe responding to your command.
I love learning to soothe beliefs standing in the way of me seeing how I’m the center of the Universe. I also love showing my clients how to do the same.
This is part two of a three part series I’m sharing detailing how a series of major life experiences left me more convinced than ever that being Positively Focused leads to the best life possible. Part one shared the awesome story of my divorce. This part describes what happened next.
Recall my soon-to-be-ex-wife gave me my marching orders as an ultimatum: leave my house by the end of the month. I had a small amount of money and no stable income. I had no place to live, roughly three weeks to find one, no car and very little other possessions.
But I was happy. More happy than I had been in a long time. I was happy and I had my Inner Being.
I knew that’s all I needed. I knew anything was possible. I looked forward to that possibility….but.
What I needed now was an income
At the time my dominant belief was “income comes from jobs”. Today I don’t believe that at all. Income comes in any way I believe it comes, not just from a job, and that’s what’s happening in my life these days.
Back then, though, faced with needing an income, I didn’t believe what I believe now. I needed a job. I believed in my Inner Being though, and I wanted to use this experience to further strengthen my belief, to turn my belief into knowing that my Inner Being hadmy back.
My Inner Being at that time told me a job was the best way to income because my dominant beliefs wouldn’t allow any other income to come my way.
But it also said I can look at any job that comes, not as a permanent thing, but as a bridging job that would allow me to bridge my belief and my desire.
My beliefs told me income comes from jobs. But my desire at the time was “I want a reality where money just comes. It’s not dependent on working.”
That eventually happened, but back then, two years ago, I couldn’t jump straight from believing “income comes from jobs” to “income just comes”.
I needed an income while I changed my reality. Thus, the bridging job.
I did it my way
But I wasnāt going to get a job the normal way. I wanted the job through a Positively Focused approach. Having that happen meant remembering five key points:
Creation rarely happens in an instant. It happens through steadily increasing momentum. The result I want is immediate in non-physical, but, materialization takes a while.
By the time I know I desire something, it’s done. But its materialization depends on me receiving messages leading me to the doneness. If I’m not open, or in tune, it gets delayed.
I know I’m ready when I’m consistently Positively Focused. That’s because my Experience of Origin and my Reality of Origin are pure positive energy. Being in tune means experiencing physical reality the same way I experience non-physical reality: with as little resistance possible. Resistance is lowest when Positively Focused.
Looking for the result slows it down. This is important. Looking for the manifestation puts energy on its absence. Manifestations happen quickest when I’m not looking for them.
Early signs of manifestations feel like a thought interruption. I know when I’ve received the message when a thought happens that I’m not thinking. Meditation helps condition my mental atmosphere so it isn’t noisy. In that peaceful mind-state, such messages stand out from ordinary thought.
Aware of these five points I knew creating my bridging job could be easy. I wanted to be the evidence of that.
Of course, that’s what happened.
One day, after receiving my wife’s ultimatum, I went for a walk. While out there, I wasn’t thinking about getting a job. I was thinking about my resistance about getting one.
I didn’t want a job that would consume all my energy like professional jobs I’ve had.
I wanted capacity after work to work on my projects.
I didn’t want to get up early to go to work and spend my mornings (my valuable creative time) working for someone else.
Then I caught myself. I realized I wasn’t Positively Focused thinking about what I didn’t want. I needed to think about what I did want.
So I thought instead about how a job matching everything I wanted would feel. I dropped my criteria about hours, intensity and all that. Instead, I focused on how it would feel getting a satisfying job.
I had no idea what kind of job that might be. Or how much it would pay. I was a blank slate. Fertile ground for my Inner Being.
Matching my physical reality with my Inner Reality is the best way to hear impulses from my Inner Reality. So while I walked, I thought “how would my Inner Being feel about me having the perfect job?”
What came to me was:
“Triumphant, appreciative, jubilant and joyful”.
That was the message I wanted. It came out of the question. It wasn’t me thinking that thought. The thought came on its own.
Now that I received that feeling impulse, I next put attention on these emotions. Jubilance, appreciation, triumph and joy…I let them build. The longer I lingered on them, the better and better I felt.
Soon I felt great, over-the-top positivity. And how could I not? Jubilance, appreciation, triumph and joy feel great, right?
After three minutes…
The name of the company I would work at appeared in my head. I knew it wasn’t me thinking that name because my thoughts were on the good feelings. Besides, that company name wouldn’t have come into my head. I rarely think about it.
Nothing else followed the name of that company. It came so suddenly, then it was gone. I was thrilled and fascinated. I felt no resistance at all. It happened just like my Inner Being said it would.
Eager and excited, I continued my walk.
At the end of my walk, I sat alongside a river’s edge. I pulled out my phone and looked up this company. Was I surprised to see they were hiring? Nope.
The view from where I sat by the river.
I applied on the spot. In an hour, I got a hire date contingent on next steps. First I had to video record one-minute answers to three questions. Later that week, I had to pee in a cup. The proctor told me supposing no disqualifying indications, I would start on my start date.
And that’s what happened. In less than a week, I went from wondering about a job, to getting one. No resume prep. No searches. No interviews. Only a piss test.
As surprising as how that job happened was how much I enjoyed working that job. It was fun. I enjoyed people I worked with. And when the end of the bridging job came, it came in ways equally as amazing as it started.
But that’s part three
That job offered everything I needed at that time; enough income to cover all my basic needs plus a little spending money, and shift work allowing ample morning time to meditate and work on my projects. The work itself was easy and left lots of mental leeway to practice being Positively Focused.
It also was energizing, physically rigorous and attention-consuming work so my 8-hour shifts flew by.
Getting the job this way showed how powerful being Positively Focused is. It also showed how faith is unnecessary. Tangible evidence is overwhelming if one looks where it is. Looking there lowers resistance, which makes manifesting easier.
Next time, in part three, I share how I easily got my place to live and then what happened when I came to the end of my bridging job.
It’s fun watching my life shape to my Positively Focused thoughts. It feels wonderful seeing my positive thoughts legitimize themselves by creating realities consistent with them.
I know all thoughts do that, of course. Any thought thought long enough will draw to the thinker evidence proving the thought “true”. When enough evidence gets created, the thought no longer is a thought. It becomes reality, then a belief. The belief fades into the background of my awareness. Life then becomes “how it is.”
That’s accurate to say for any thought that has become a belief. Which is why I don’t concern myself with people who disagree with me about what I share through Positively Focused.
Plenty of people out there think “you create your reality through your thoughts” is a bunch of hogwash. But they don’t understand the preceding paragraphs. They don’t know their thought “it’s hogwash” became a belief long ago and is out of their awareness now that it has become a belief, and attracts evidence of its “truth”.
That’s why I don’t spend time trying to convince someone “you create your reality through your thoughts”…unless they’re a client. š
Clients are different
A client is open. They’re willing to consider new possibilities. They want to believe. That makes seeing around existing beliefs more likely.
What I love about what I do with my clients is this: It’s easy for me to say “you create your reality through your thoughts” and point to my life, as full of evidence as it is. It’s also easy for people to dismiss such evidence.
But as more clients come to Positively Focused, create extraordinary lives as my current clients are, it gets harder and harder to deny that something different is happening.
Nearly all my clients are extraordinarily excited about their lives. They’re engaged and happy. They’re having fun discovering what I’ve discovered. And in their discovery I find joy too.
Client work then becomes play. It’s a win-win for both parties. My clients enjoy Charmed Lives. I enjoy watching that. And I grow a larger and larger, undeniable body of evidence that Universe loves us all and gives us all for that which we ask.
Being Positively Focused is a lot like being a Jedi in real life. I create my ideal versions of other people who then give me what I want when they realize what I want is what they want.
Nutshelling it: When I work through my Broader Perspective, my Inner Being talks to their Inner Being so that what I want occurs to them as what they want too.
A true story showing how this works.
I live in a house I share with three others. When I first moved in, the other three people were quiet and kept to themselves. The landlord showed me my space, “the basement suite” they called it.
Of course, it was perfect. It represented a fulfilled desire coming in perfect timing, as I wanted a new, quiet living space after my ex and I split.
Over several months these original three housemates moved out. Three new people replaced them. People I didn’t enjoy as housemates.
The first was a party boy. He enjoyed drinking, playing loud music and having people over for loud conversations.
The next person was an “adult child”. He had family of origin issues that showed up as screaming at the top of his lungs for no reason, using other people’s property without asking, getting offended at the slightest provocation and not cleaning up after himself. Oh, he also peed in the backyard!
The third person was even worse. He was an Adult Child of Alcoholics, muttered to himself and didn’t respect the landlord’s established norms for living there.
His replacement oddly enough, expected others to clean up behind him. He left things all over the house, let his food get moldy in the fridge, and would leave dishes and utensils on the front porch instead of taking them to the kitchen and washing them.
What’s interesting was each of these people reflected a dimension of my ex. While living with her I developed strong co-creative momentum with her. So strong a momentum, housemates who moved in after I did reflected that momentum. In other words, my Moment of Becoming and momentum brought housemates after me matching experiences I had with my ex.
My ex is from a family of alcoholics. Slight provocations triggered her too. She enjoyed playing her music loud while ignoring other people’s interests. Occasionally she cleaned up behind herself, but often would leave things right where she had them last. I tried a lot of things to change her (not a good idea at all I realize now). All my attempts made things worse.
I’m happier no longer there.
Obviously though my Belief Constellation still included thoughts about her. I know this because each house mate brought experiences and behaviors matching my ex, or rather matching beliefs I still had active about my ex. Were my experiences with my ex less active in my Belief Constellation, different people would show up. These new housemates were not random coincidence.
I know everything in my reality reflects back to me Belief Constellation content. That’s helpful knowing because I can do something with that knowledge. Not knowing what I know, life seems random and separate. It never is though. My thoughts and my reality always match.
So every housemate served me: Each showed me I still had beliefs worth changing. In changing them, I could get a better reality.
Before that though…
At first, I let myself get annoyed about my new housemates’ behaviors. I know emotional reactions are never about what’s happening in my physical reality, they’re always only about my connection with my Inner Being and that is all.
Saying “each new housemate was annoying” or “my new housemates made me annoyed” are complete, inaccurate distortions.
I also know what to do when I feel annoyance. I didn’t do that at first though.
At first I tried coaxing different behaviors out of them. I tried asking the slob to clean up after himself, which, of course, he refused. I asked the ACA dude to stick to the house norms. He told me to fuck off. I asked the party guy to be more quiet. He complained about me to the other housemates, which exacerbated my relationships with them. I asked the backyard pee-er to stop doing a lot of stuff. He got better, but still did things I didn’t like. The other housemates didn’t like it either.
Since direct action didn’t work, and my frustration was getting unbearable, I did the only thing under my control. I changed what I paid attention to, I let go, I surrendered.
It was a radical choice, an interesting sociological experiment. The only recent experience I had creating new people from existing people was with my ex. But that was indeliberate creation. Now, life presented me a huge learning opportunity: Learn to create people you want in life experience deliberately, it said.
So that’s what I did.
Surrender isn’t giving up. It’s realizing where power exists. Real effortless power comes through allowing Universe to bring me what I want instead of trying to make it happen myself.
People always reflect back to me what I believe. I’m creating them for my benefit. I know whatever thoughts I’m thinking that I’m ignoring for some reason will come clear through how people both show up and how they treat me. My expansion never ends, so learning opportunities never end either.
Life is best when I follow the inner knowing of my Broader Perspective. When doing that I realize people always reflect back to me my beliefs. (See the full illustrated post here).
So people in my life experience all are helpers, giving me feedback, as does everything else in my physical reality. This feedback tells me “Universe will bring me what I want when I let it.”
I let it through being Positively Focused.
I am feedback for others as well. With many years Positively Focused practice, I feel the pull of other people’s focus. Feeling that pull, sometimes it’s hard maintaining my own focus. I end up being someone less than I want to be. But I know when that happens, I’m matching that other person’s reality, and doing so, give them what they’re wanting to know, even if they don’t know that.
These days it’s easier being authentic, loving me while feeling others’ pulls. My Positively Focused practice has perpetual momentum now. Most of the time these days, I set the tone of an interaction. People shape to my pull instead of me shaping to theirs.
Not so when I was with my ex. Back then, when out in the world, I found it easy staying positive and excited about life. But then I’d come home and almost instantly feel my mood shift when I re-entered the persistent negative atmosphere she and I co-created.
I benefitted a ton from that marriage. She did too. For me, marriage helped me prioritize my Inner Being relationship. As a result, I’m living even more of a Charmed Life than I lived before.
I love how all relationships have that potential: they can amplify one’s focus on the one place unconditional love comes from: the relationship between one’s self and one’s Inner Being.
Things got interesting
So instead of trying to cajole my housemates into compliance, instead of trying to get them to stop doing what I didn’t like. I did what I show my clients: I focused instead on what I wanted. Then I let my Personal Trinity coordinate a new reality. One which included versions of my housemates that matched what I wanted.
What I wanted was a calm, quiet, peaceful place where people subordinated their behavior to the goals of a mutually beneficial, peaceful living space.
I knew, and know even more today, that through my Inner Being relationship, I can be, do and have anything I want. I knew I already created probable versions of my housemates, versions matching what I want. I knew my Inner Being held for me a living situation filled with such housemates.
My job: tune myself to that probable reality alive in my Belief Constellation, so it would emerge through my Moment of Becoming in to my physical reality.
Here’s what I did.
First I clarified in my mind what I wanted. I knew it was there in my belief constellation. I just had more momentum behind what I didn’t want (experiences similar to living with my ex) as a result of still thinking about my ex.
I thought thoughts about what it would look like living in my ideal living situation.
I thought about how my ideal housemates moved through the house and…
I thought about and focused on how peaceful, harmonious and quiet it was in my minds-eye version of my living situation.
By envisioning these, I knew I cued up that probable reality matching my ideal, my Charmed Life. But I needed something more. Something critical.
Early in Positively Focused practice, the practitioner strengthens their perceptive skills through feeling emotion. People feel emotions easier than vibration. Emotions let me know what vibration I’m tuned to. Vibration is early-stage manifestation. I needed to tune my vibration via my thoughts to my desired reality.
So while thinking about my ideal living situation, I focused more and more on how that situation felt. Then I amped up those feelings by focusing on them and riffing on emotions in the same vicinity:
It feels nice living in this ideal situation
It feels peaceful living here
It feels like harmony
It feels like peace
It feels satisfying
It feels like home
It feels joyful
It feels right
It feels good…
Next, I completely ignored what my current housemates did. When Slob left his dishes in the living room, or on the porch outside, I ignored it. When Family-of-origin peed in the backyard, or screamed “FUCK!” in the middle of the day, I ignored that too.
Then I took it up a notch. I ignored my housemates. Whenever they were in the common areas – the living room, the kitchen – I stayed in my room. If I was in the kitchen and one came in, I made sure I had my headphones in and listened to a podcast or music.
Then I amped it up further. This is a bit hard to explain. I lived in the house as though my ideal housemates already lived with me. I felt how good that felt. I reveled in their presence. I focused on how great the place would feel with them with me.
How I create other people in five easy steps.
Then awesome happened
The fist thing that happened was ACA moved out. Unbeknowst to me, he contacted the landlord saying he needed to move out ASAP. He said his counselor said living alone would be a better living situation for him.
Next, Slob and Family of Origin started getting on each others’ nerves. Family of Origin started enjoying the house being clean and tidy. He also improved around cleaning up after himself.
Problem (for him) was, Slob’s living habits started getting on his nerves. So Family of Origin pointed out more often things Slob was doing. Exasperated, Slob started looking for someplace else to live. In a month, he was gone!
Perhaps you’ve seen my pictures on my website, so you know I’m brown-skinned. All my housemates up to this point were of the dominant culture. So you can imagine my surprise when my landlord introduced me to ACA’s replacement, another person of color. Let’s call him Andre.
Not surprisingly, Andre told me and the landlord he was looking for a cleaner, quieter and more peaceful living situation, which was NOT where he lived before. He said he liked keeping to himself and was super-respectful. Having toured the house, he already recommended ideas on improving the living situation.
After he moved in, the whole character of the living situation changed. Andre shared a bathroom with Family of Origin and right away Andre put his foot down about how Family of Origin left hair all over the bathroom and hardly cleaned up after himself (I have my own bathroom).
Next the landlord introduced me, Family of Origin and Andre to Slob’s replacement, another person of color and a college student I’ll call Lorenzo. Like Andre, he expressed living in a respectful, quiet place because he’s studying full time from home. Lorenzo and Andre’s energy both transformed the house’s culture. Family of Origin mentioned feeling uncomfortable living with three people of color, this being the first time that ever happened.
Not long after Lorenzo moved in, I heard him and Family of Origin having a slightly tense conversation about race. I went upstairs to see what was up. They were discussing whether a person of color could be racist. It was an interesting conversation I joined with eagerness. It went well, but I could tell Family of Origin was struggling with his “white fragility”.
Within two months, Family of Origin moved out too. His replacement: a kind, peaceful, hard working woman I’ll call Cindy. Cindy and I hit it off right away. Today, we share meals, watch movies together and talk eagerly about our passions. She’s a great fit. So is Lorenzo and Andre too!
Lorenzo and Andre moved out, but two new housemates I’ll call Jeff and Tomiko moved in behind them. They both are wonderful, peaceful, respectful and quiet people. And one of them is transgender which hits close to home.
Epilogue:
What happened here?
Several things unfolded in perfect universal coordination. One, I realized how my current, unwanted reality clarified beliefs in my Belief Constellation I wanted cleaned up.
Next, I surrendered to the unwanted by accepting rather than pushing against those things.
Then I ignored all those things, including the people creating them. Instead of giving what I wanted changed attention, I put attention on future realities containing what I wanted.
Doing all this, I tuned myself so that my now gradually matched my desires. On the way to that, my Inner Being coordinated with Inner Being’s of my old housemates. Through that coordination their Inner Being’s gave them impulses they felt were right for them. They came to their conclusions that served them. Conclusions that served me too.
My Inner Being simultaneously coordinated with people who matched what I wanted, people whose desires matched what I wanted too, and inspired them to me. The result: new people in my living situation matched with my desire and thus, an ideal living space.
Creating people consistent with one’s desires is fairly advanced, but possible for everyone. Cultivating Positively Focused momentum makes available nonphysical connections we share with others. Those connections exist for our use. When Positively Focused, that use ultimately matches me with people consistent with and in agreement with what I want.
It feels like mind control, but it’s not. I feel like a Jedi, but that’s at best, a fable. What’s really happening is I’m drawing to me people wanting what I want, for their own personal reasons that match my own. I call that co-creation between people. It’s so fun!
Iāve added yet another running series āQ/Aā to my blog. Itās…well…about answering questions I get through the internets and sharing those answers with others as they may help others feel inspired and more connected to the God they are.
Someone asked: Should I Fear Or Welcome The Dark Night Of The Soul?
Answer: We humans could benefit from being a little less dramatic.
A āDark Night of the Soulāā¦..Whooooooā¦..Seriously?
Life is supposed to be FUN.
Fear is optional. Having the fun though requires examining so many aspects of how we be. One way we shoot ourselves in the foot is how we be with regard to what comes our of our mouths (or our fingers). This āDark Night of the Soulā malarky is a great example.
All this is, is an interpretation, and an unhelpful one at that. If I called it that, Iād be afraid too. But that fear tells you something: It tells you you are misinterpreting whatās really happening.
Most people donāt understand what emotions are or what their purpose is, but some are starting to come around. Emotions are extremely important. They serve a purpose. But thatās another storyā¦one you donāt need to know to resolve this question.
The experience humans describe the way youāre describing it is simply a turning point. Itās a wonderful opportunity youāve created for yourself, an opportunity to head in the direction of your wildest desires.
But if you fear it, if you see it as some massive, significant, scary event, youāre not lining up with the probable future reality this turning point you created offers for your own benefit. What you are lining up with is the suffering, strife, stress and painā¦all the things āDark Night of the Soulā implies.
Notice that everyone who describes this turning point this way has had experiences consistent with that description. You canāt experience it any other way when you believe it to be a āDark Night of the Soulā.
If people knew this, the moment they heard someone describe it this way, theyād run for the hills because it doesnāt have to be a āDark Night of the Soulā!
So how do you experience this wonderful time, this wonderful moment, this glorious opportunity for what it really is?
WELCOME IT!
I hear you: āThatās easy to sayā¦Perryā¦but HOW?ā You ask. āEspecially since Iām feeling stuck with this āDark Night of the Soulā business!?ā
Here: Iāll show you:
Start by recognizing and owning that youāve accepted as your own, a common, yet bogus, belief that puts way too much emphasis on negative interpretations of what is actually a wonderful experience. How? Say:
This is ok.
Iāve adopted this belief, but I donāt have to keep it
Itās ok that I adopted it, and Iām ready to change it
Itās so cool I can change my mind, change my beliefs
I like that I have the ability to change my beliefs
I like that it can be pretty easyā¦
In a few moments of saying six or ten such statements, youāll feel better about these turning points.
Next, start saying things about these turning points that support what Iām saying they are. If you do step one above, step two will be easy!
Life is an adventure
I like figuring my life out
I may have made turns that donāt serve me, but like changing my mind, I can change my course
I like experiencing the new
I can get through this
Iāve come this far, why not?
I think this is going to be interesting
I like being interested in thingsā¦
Then turn your focus to how youāre feeling right now, having done step two. Thatās step three:
Wow, I feel better about this whole thing
Iām never going to describe turning points that way again, theyāre just turning points!
I actually feel pretty excited about whatās to come
This is going to be funā¦
And before you know it, youāre welcoming it!
Welcome everything life offers you. Whatās really happening is, youāre offering your life experience to yourself. When you get that you create your reality, you can start creating any reality you want. Itās easy. And it never has to include a dark night of the soul.
(Notice how I decapitalized the phrase. That helps reduce some of the significance people put on it. LOL š)
Hereās a series of stories I tell often. Theyāre why I experience a consistent happy life born of Positively Focused thoughts.
These thoughts create life experiences consistent with what I want, while keeping experiences I donāt want from finding me. Itās like magic, or a spell, but itās not that. Itās just what happens when I focus on good-feeling thoughts. You can do this too. Try these. See what happens. You know theyāre workingĀ when you feel good.
I like feeling my way to better and better feeling experiences
I know Iām doing that when dreams delight me
I know Iām doing that when I feel ecstasy from dreaming
I know Iām doing that when reliving dreams long into the day comes effortlesslyĀ
I know Iām doing that when I feel good
When I feel good frequently, I see my life match that
Things coming my way delight me
I feel ecstasy in things I get to do
I see Universe wink at me in moments of divine orchestration
I see more and more of those moments all the time
Until I see them in nearly every moment
I love being physical
I love being more and better
I love tuning to that and in doing so bringing more and better to the world through who I be and what Iām inspired to do
I love having and knowing and fulfilling my purpose
