What is a broken heart? A broken heart is a mindset.
Society romanticizes broken hearts. Movies get made. Songs get sung. Getting hurt happens, right?
No one need ever experience a broken heart. Put your heart in the right place. It will never break again.
My recent relationship taught me that. 😂 ❤️👍🏾
· · ·
Lauren and I got acquainted when she contacted me online.
Mutual affection grew fast, as we had a lot in common. She’s trans. I’m Transamorous. We both shared art, love of music, philosophy, food and more.
But as intimacy grew, she got more nervous. The closer we got, the more uncomfortable she got.
I relish love. I relish love because I am love. Connected to my Inner Being, expressing unconditional love flows like breathing. So, naturally, I shared spontaneous appreciation for Lauren. I appreciated Lauren’s existence, her talent, and her strengths, especially strengths she developed as she’s accepted being trans.
For a while she appreciated all that.
Then it got too much for her.
I know if I’m patient, the Universe will show me everything I want. It will also show me reasons why I may not want what I have.
As my Broader Perspective connection strengthens, I desire human affection less. Connection to Broader Perspective showers me with an incredible, unconditional love. A love so deep and satisfying, relationships with other people get put in their proper place: as nice-to-haves, not as must haves.
There’s no forlornness when I’m not in a relationship because my Inner Being relationship dominates. It (my Inner Being) always floods me, its love so strong and overflowing and present, I never feel alone. I feel loved.
So I never feel yearning or that I’m missing out on love. My Broader Perspective’s unconditional love for me is enough. When it pores through me I become that. Pure love.
So why seek relationships with people when I become that which people crave from relationships?
My perspectives on human relationships changed since discovering my Inner Being. I yearned for them before. I felt incomplete without one. But yearning creates problems. In yearning I sow seeds of loss. Here’s how that works.
When I yearn for something, then get it, I fear I’m going to lose that for which I’ve yearned. Holding tight to what I’ve got for fear of losing it guarantees I will lose it. Holding something tight like that emphasizes its loss. Reality springs from thoughts.
Tightness in my body born of fear is reality. Physical sensations are real, right? So my thoughts about losing someone creates an incipient reality: a feeling. In this case “tightness”.
In that reality, my behavior reflects my fear. I say things consistent with fear. I interpret what I see from that fear. I may even start checking out relationship options. I hedge my bets.
Meanwhile my partner knows what’s up. They may not know it in their awareness, yet they still know. That’s why a partner might check your phone or email. A hunch will push through into their awareness. There are no secrets. We’re all one.
Unchecked my fear creates even more real, realities. This is called momentum. My partner may find my bet hedging, then get insecure. Before long tension grows. Fights happen. Mistrust grows. They might start bet-hedging. Then the breakup comes.
Inner reality is real. Where do you think thoughts come from? Thought is a physical reality.
Thoughts drive perception. Perception is reality too. Perception then drives behaviors. Behaviors are reality. Behaviors influence others and their behavior. Others cooperate with me helping create my reality. They act consistent with my thoughts.
So behaviors always match Inner Reality. Since reality springs from behavior, and behavior springs from perception, and perception springs from thoughts and thoughts come from Inner Reality, then my Inner Reality must become one’s physical reality starting with my thoughts.
That’s how it works.
I know how to create realities I want. My emotions guide me. The better I feel, the more I know my becoming reality includes my fulfilled desires. That’s because positive thoughts must become positive realities.
Strong connection with my Inner Being short circuits yearning, fear and insecurity, replacing them with appreciation and love. My job: staying there as best I can. I don’t always. But doing that consistent enough creates realities consistent with appreciation and love.
So if a partner chooses something other than a relationship with me, I see the former relationship in its proper perspective: a nice-to-have. Not so significant that I create realities consistent with painful loss. Were I to do that, I would experience a broken heart. For a broken heart is a physical reality (an emotion) triggered by thoughts consistent with “broken heart realities”.
Human love can’t match Inner Being unconditional love. Moreover, another person can’t match all that my Inner Being gives me in its love for me. It literally gives me everything I want in wonderful, surprising ways and in perfect timing. I write about these in this blog.
Human relationships always come up short compared to that. That doesn’t make human relationships bad. They are what they are.
Love doesn’t come from another person. Love happens when, while with a person, I tune into thoughts that connect me with my Inner Being. It’s my Inner Being connection that triggers love. Not being in relationship. Which means, I can feel love outside relationship.
This puts relationships in a less triggering perspective. I conjure love at will. So if a relationship ends, it’s not the end of my love, or my world. And my heart breaks no more.
So when Lauren called distraught and in crisis about our relationship, I took it in stride. Despite all we had in common, despite being with someone who loved her, she focused on things she thought we didn’t share. Real things for her. Perception is reality. Her perception saw broken hearts in our future. That scared her.
I found it strange that the more I showered her with love the less she enjoyed us. I found it strange until she told me how people in her past said they loved her, but their behavior said otherwise. She doesn’t know that thoughts create reality. She doesn’t know other people act out what you’re thinking. They do that so your thoughts are “made real” for your examination. They’re made real so you can do something about them.
For me our relationship already succeeded and had no other choice but to succeed going forward. Where she saw “red flags”, I saw adventure and opportunity.
As I said, when one gets connected to one’s Inner Being, it will show that person why they may not want what they have. In her objections, Lauren showed me why Lauren may not be something I want. She wasn’t consistent with my “love vibration”. So she took herself out of my reality, leaving me free to love and be loved.
For me, relationship success looks like a relationship through which two parties are better off because of it. That means two find greater harmony with their Inner Beings by experiencing life with one another.
That’s what happened for me with Lauren. And so where is the case for failure, or a broken heart?
It’s easy to never have a broken heart again. It starts with prioritizing the one relationship that will never end, the one relationship through which I get everything I want, no matter what that is, and then some. That’s the relationship between me and me.
Standing there, I never lose love. Or anything else. It’s all gain. And my heart remains whole.
I spoke with a client a couple days ago. He was in major distress. He’s a new client, struggling with his beliefs about a “diagnosis” he is allowing to shape his life experience.
He’s learning “diagnoses” are just beliefs with a lot of momentum. Therefore, any “diagnosis” can be reversed. He only need allow more momentum for the “diagnosis”-free state. When he does, that “diagnosis” will exit his life experience.
My client already is proving this to himself. He’s having improvement. But his focus is still too much on beliefs associated with “diagnosis”. So he often comes to our sessions in anguish.
A couple days ago he was distraught, in fear and crying uncontrollably. I helped him soothe that condition using the Positively Focused framework. He could have done this himself. Clients further along do this on their own. But Chris doesn’t quite trust himself.
Then told him if he practiced more deliberately what he is learning, he would see more improvement.
Two days later, he wrote me a message. He noticed improvement not long after talking the first time. Then he received a message from his Inner Knowing. It was a clear message to rest.
But he also had an appointment with a doctor.
Instead of following is Inner Knowing and skipping the appointment, he went to the doctor, who, of course prescribed Chris some pills. That night Chris didn’t sleep at all. Not sleeping at all is one of the indicators of his manifesting “diagnosis”.
As you can see from his messages above, he was hard on himself. That’s when I clued him in on what’s really going on:
After sending those messages, I got on my bike to head to a class. The path I take offers many options to get there. I usually take a path that includes crossing railroad tracks. The day before, on the way home, I noticed a train crossing the road. So I took the alternate path home. I’m getting to a point… 🙄
This morning, on the way to that class, I got close to where the tracks are. That’s when I got a message from my Inner Being. It said “take the [alternate path]”. At the same time, I saw in my mind’s eye, a train crossing the road, blocking traffic.
So I took the alternate path. Halfway over the road that passes over the train tracks, I got goose pimples. Then I felt a rush of exhilaration. That’s when I got how my client’s experience overlapped my own.
I received a message from my Inner Knowing just like he had. Only I followed it. And look what happened. Had I not followed my inner guidance, I would have been late.
I followed it though, so I got to class in plenty of time. I had so much time, in fact, I caught a video of the train…and wrote an entry about it in my journal.
When I got to class, I sent my client the video and told him how wonderful this was as a demonstration for him, but also for me, reminding me and showing him that our Inner Beings know everything about what we’re wanting and how to get it. No matter how big or small, our Inner Being is on it!
This is how lining up with my inner knowing allows an effortless life. A life free of little annoyances. My Inner Knowing knows what I want and how to get it. And because it’s constantly showing me that, I can have a life that seems…well magical. If I tune into the guidance I’m sending me.
Anyone can have a life like this.
It seems like magic. Only it’s not magic. It’s just what happens when I get Positively Focused.
I think it’s awesome how both of us, my client and me, benefitted from this experience.
And I’m excited for my client’s continued adventure into his delightful life, free of that diagnosis. Soon he will have an amazing story to tell. Just like my client Tamar.
Illustrations by me 😊
It’s easy to get people to do what I want. Being Positively Focused is the key.
These two stories show what I mean.
I have a friend I’ll call Jeff. Lately he’s been involved with a guy he’s head-over-heels for. So he spends nearly all his free time with that guy.
One day I sent Jeff a text inviting him over. He texted back saying he was pretty busy and offered the following week. That never happened.
Two weeks later I was riding my bike to get groceries. On my way I thought about Jeff. Then, I thought how great it would be to see a super hero movie. It had been a while since I saw one.
A day after buying my groceries, I realized I “accidentally” left at the register a bag of mixed nuts I bought. I called the store. They said the checker remembered me and invited me to come get a replacement. I told them I’d head that way, weather depending.
I was enjoying creating art for my projects that morning. I really didn’t want to go. But then I got a strong impulse to go. I try to immediately respond to strong impulses.
So I checked the weather. No rain until afternoon. I jumped on my bike and headed over.
On my way, I rode past Jeff’s home. His door upstairs was open, which I thought was strange because his car wasn’t there.
Then, guess who comes around the corner in his car. It’s Jeff! We greet and hug. He tells me he just broke up with his boyfriend. I told Jeff that was perfect because now he can hang out with me.
He laughed and said, “and yeah, maybe we can go see a movie too. I hear that new Joker is really great. We should go this Sunday!”
See the connection? Just the other day I thought how cool it would be to see another comic book movie and here Jeff is suggesting we go to one. And, since “accidentally” forgot some nuts, I was able to connect with him in perfect timing, in person! How cool is that?
· · ·
I’m learning to interpret impulses I get as open doors. I don’t have to walk through. When I do, though, life delivers all kinds of surprises.
The week comes to an end. I haven’t been thinking about Jeff, or the movie he suggested we go see. But on Friday I heard a movie review. The movie stars Brad Pitt. It’s called Ad Astra. It sounded good.
I thought about Jeff and our Sunday plans. Then I thought, “I’d rather see Ad Astra than Joker.”
Sunday morning comes. I wake to wonderful dreams, enjoy a deep meditation and do a dream analysis. Then I prepare for my day using my Positively Focused framework.
I need next week’s groceries, so I check the weather. There’s a 90-minute rain-free window that comes…and goes.
I miss it.
So I put on my rain gear, take out my bike and head to get next week’s groceries.
Now, I know I’m in in tune with the Universe because of what happens in my moment-by-moment life experience. When I’m in tune, the weather cooperates. People are friendly and generous.
Just before I head out, the rain stops. When I get to the store, I meet all kinds of friendly people. I have great conversations with other customers. Store employees are helpful and conversant. Pleasant too.
I know I’m in a great Positively Focused place. So it was no surprise what happened next.
I get a text message. It’s from Jeff. It says: “what do you think about seeing Ad Astra?”
Of course the story doesn’t end there. We ended up going to the movie and having a great time.
· · ·
This next experience came six months later. The more I’m Positively Focused the gap between one seemingly magical event and the next narrows. These days, magical things happen near-constantly. Only it’s not magic. The universe want’s all of us to have what we want.
The more I tune into universal frequencies, the more things I want happen with no effort. Including people acting in ways I’d prefer.
I’ve said in previous posts I ride my bike to and from work. I like riding my bike, even in cold weather. It’s a great workout. The trip takes about 30 minutes.
But it’s late fall, early winter. It’s getting really cold and rainy. I have the right riding equipment. So I’m comfortable, but one day I wondered about how it would be when temperatures dip below freezing.
One night at the end of my shift, I had a thought. It said “Diane is going to offer to drive me home tonight.” Diane is another delivery driver.
When she drives home each night, she drives right by my house. I’ve never asked her for a ride because I like riding my bike. But this night, I had this thought.
When I got this thought, I let it sit there. I didn’t think about it any more than it was: a passing thought. But I imagined how nice it would be riding home in a warm car…
I clocked out. Then Diane came in. She clocked out, turned to me and said “let me take you home tonight. I’m worried about you riding home in the dark, at night, in the rain.”
I wasn’t surprised. I knew this was going to happen. When it happened, that’s what it felt like. That it was going to happen.
The next several weeks rain fell heavy. Winds blew hard and it was really cold. It’s like Diane knew the future.
Not only did Diane offer to drive me home. When we got to my house, she offered to pick me up the next day too.
Every day since then, we’ve been carpooling to and from work. I didn’t have to ask. It just happened.
I’m starting to interpret some thoughts as precognition. My Inner Being told me it was going to happen. Then it happened.
· · ·
A manifestation, no matter how amazing, always contains seeds for the next manifestation. Life is always getting better for a Positively Focused person. So even when something really cool happens, life says “hold my beer” and tops it. What happens next demonstrates that.
I was enjoying riding to and from work with Diane. We became friends. But Diane has a story about money related to her family. Right now she’s the main bread winner as her husband is in school learning to become a teacher. Diane believes she must maximize her income as the bread winner.
What that means is, every evening, Diane would hang out at the van lot, or at the station and stretch out her shift to earn extra hourly time. I didn’t like that very much. I preferred to get home asap so I can write blogs like this one, draw or do other things.
While I didn’t like what was happening I didn’t try doing anything about it. I didn’t talk to Diane about it. I didn’t complain. Instead I considered the positives: being driven home. Not biking in the cold rain…
Honestly, though, there were times when I complained to myself a little. Sometimes I debated whether or not I should go back to riding my bike. I thought how nice it used to be getting home before 9 p.m.
Commuting by car was nice too though.
Then one morning when Diane picked me up, she said she needed to finish right when our shift ended. She said she planned to take her daughter out for her birthday. We finished right on time that night and got home early.
That felt nice.
The next day I asked her how the birthday event was. Then I said “it was nice to get home early. Wasn’t it?”
Then, the following day, Diane told me that her husband asked why was she was coming home so late all the time. He reminded her they were doing fine financially. There was no reason, he said, for her to work extra time each shift.
It’s interesting how that conversation happened. I had nothing to do with it. And yet at the same time, I knew my Inner Being’s hands (if it had hands) were all over this.
So when Diane told me what her husband said, I just said very casually how nice it would feel to come home early every night.
From that day forward, we always left no later than 15 minutes after our shift. That was nice! Because of that, I got home 15 minutes earlier than had I took my bike.
I can tell Diane likes coming home early. I’m sure her husband does too.
Both these stories show how intending rather than trying to control people creates my reality. The more Positively Focused I get, the more life just starts working this way. Things happen literally with no effort on my part.
And the fact that I recognize it when it happens delights the Universe. And that makes the Universe want to deliver more such experiences. That’s the upward spiral I referred to in earlier posts. The better it gets, the better it gets.
It’s easy to get people to do what you want. The key is lining up with the leverage of the Universe. I do that by being Positively Focused.
When I’m Positively Focused, the Universe does all the work. Things I want come easily. Often they come through other people. When it happens this way, the people are more than willing to do what I want because doing it is in their best interest too.
And that’s the easiest way to have other people do what you want: let the Universe make it happen for you.
***LET’S FINE TUNE THIS: I wrote “kind of like” a reward. Life has no “rewards”. That word implies someone is there watching and approving or disapproving what choices I make. That’s not what’s happening. No one judges what I do or don’t do. Manifestation of my ideal reality is part of the natural expansion of which I’m playing a part. A central part. I’m the chooser free to choose whatever I wish to experience.
Music is powerful. It can literally shape life experience. So I’m careful about what songs I listen to these days. Here’s why.
One day last fall started as usual: in high spirits. The day itself was glorious – clear blue sky, leaves changing with the season and mild but comfortable temperatures. It was a great day to be working outside.
I was happy. Adding to my delight was my music playlist. It’s a collection of about two thousand songs gathered over many years. So it’s a nice, eclectic mix.
But then it happened. I don’t know how, at first. There I was, happy, enjoying my day. So why was I suddenly feeling sorry for myself, cranky and in a bad mood?
I’m almost always positive these days.
But in this moment I felt so negative, I even questioned whether I create my reality!
My clients have this experience too sometimes. One minute they’ll be positively focused. Then, seemingly for no reason, they’re sad.
But how could this negative emotion blindside me?
That was the wrong question.
What I should have asked was, how did I miss early stage indicators that I had diverged from my Broader Perspective?
I know I can never completely disconnect from my Broader Perspective. But it is possible to think thoughts inconsistent with what my Broader Perspective knows. When that happens I feel negative emotion. I know that’s the only reason negative emotions happen.
Negative emotion tells me I’ve parted perspectives. I’m no longer seeing life through my Broader Knowing.
When I see life the way my Broader Perspective does, I feel great.
When I feel negative emotion, I’m pretty good at catching it. When I do, I either relax and chill, or change my thoughts.
As I said, I’ve gotten really good at that. That’s why I feel ecstasy or near-ecstasy most of the time. Because of that, happy things happen in my life. I write about these in this blog.
Since I know what emotions are for, I know that if I miss an early indicator, my negative mood will worsen…until life smacks me upside the head with a physical manifestation matching that mood.
I don’t like it when things get that far.
So I usually catch bad moods early. Usually very early, like on their first indication.
So how did this negative mood get so far?
Before I go into what what happened next, some non-physical background might be helpful…
I know this manifestation business is real. I know I create my reality. A ton of evidence has blown away any doubt. I also know manifestations are immediate.
Now I don’t blame people who don’t believe all this manifestation business. I wouldn’t believe it either if I didn’t know how to see the evidence.
Thankfully I know how to see the evidence. And, I understand why it seems manifestations take so long or never happen at all. One reason “it doesn’t work” or takes a long time has to do with resistance.
Unlike non-physical or Inner Reality, Physical Reality comes with a lot of resistance or friction. It’s as real as the nose on my face.
Engineers design physical objects with this friction or resistance in mind. That’s why high performance cars and airplanes and boats look how they look. That’s why tires wear out. It’s why rockets look really streamlined…instead of looking like bricks.
Just as cars and airplanes and boats need an initial push to overcome resistance and another force, what physicists call “inertia”, it takes persistence and focused attention to change my immediate now, especially a now I may not want, into a preferred now.
Focused attention is just like a push. The more pure the focus, the stronger the push.
But, unlike cars and airplanes and rockets too, it doesn’t take a lot of focused energy to get reality moving in a different direction. To build momentum a reality creator only needs thoughts with no contradictory energy.
And so, as I started telling new stories about how I felt, I knew my reality started changing at once. It took several deliberate hours for a complete and permanent shift from my negative now to the positive now I wanted. But an early indication that change was on the way was how much better I felt telling the new, improved stories.
Now, you may be saying “several hours? You said it was immediate!”
It is immediate. But full-blown manifestational change must come through physical reality’s inherent resistance. Movement from initial signs to full-blown manifestation is therefore gradual.
Still, compare a few hours to the years or decades a person might invest trying to shake off “negative” emotions such anxiety, depression, chronic fear or even simple pessimism.
These negative states are hard to shake because the person waited too long to turn them around. Know how to see early manifestational evidence of negative situations and any chronic negative trajectory can easily be reversed.
Any reversal must happen before too much momentum gets going. Otherwise it can take a long time. It can take an entire life time. It might never change.
A rocket sits on the launch pad. You “light the fires and kick the tires”. If you abort the launch sequence soon enough stopping the rocket is easy.
But if you wait until the rocket has launched and gained altitude and momentum….well, you’re not going to stop that rocket easily.
The same is true for any negative manifestation.
I caught my “rocket” on the launch pad so that sour mood didn’t get any momentum. A few hours was nothing. And it was time well spent. Here’s why.
As those hours ticked by, I saw more and more evidence the process was working. That awareness built on itself, creating its own momentum. And as that momentum strengthened, something happened I wasn’t expecting.
I felt/got/heard/saw a message from non-physical. It was communication from Broader Perspective. It said a song in my playlist, one that played several hours ago, triggered an old belief constellation. It said I formed that belief constellation in the past in response to an experience I had that I interpreted (way back then) as negative.
Back then, that song was popular. It played on the radio a lot. I liked that song so much I put it in my collection. I played it often. Even during that negative experience. In doing so, I forged an association in my belief constellation between the song and the experience I interpreted as negative.
So the song, playing that day on my route in the present, triggered a belief constellation I formed in that past experience. A constellation I hadn’t activated since, until I heard that song!
Beliefs in that constellation are so divergent from how my Broader Perspective interpreted that past experience it caused me to diverge from my Broader Perspective in the present. That’s why I felt bad!
When the message ended, I was puzzled. Driving my van, I remembered the song in question. It was vague in my mind, you know? Like when a word is there, but not there in your head, and you say “it’s on the tip of my tongue”. But you can’t say the actual word, even though it’s there?
That’s how the song was. Right there, but not right there. I couldn’t get the title or lyrics in my head. But I knew which song my Broader Perspective meant.
Why do you think I couldn’t put my finger on it?
It’s because my creation process worked! I shifted my “now” so completely, I couldn’t put my finger on it, because the frequency of the song and the frequency of my improved mood were too different.
And here’s the thing: That’s evidence!
My increasingly positive frequency was so different from those past stories, only their “ghosts” remained…On the tip of my brain, but inexpressible.
Then I realized something amazing. You see, were it not for hearing that song, were it not for listening to that playlist, were it not for the negative emotion triggered by all that, I wouldn’t have done what I did in response.
And, I wouldn’t have had the awesome experience of tuning into my Broader Consciousness’ message. A message that came through all my senses. A message that surprised and delighted me, yes. But also a message confirming the existence of my Broader Perspective!￼￼￼ ￼￼￼￼
That’s how consistent positive focus creates extraordinary experience. And evidence this manifestation business is real.
While I did not remember the song’s title or lyrics, I still felt its “ghosts”. That tells me beliefs and experiences associated with that song are still present in me. But they are losing their momentum in light of my now-focus.
Receiving direct, clear, unmistakable communication from the non-physical realm tells me everything I’m doing is real. That it’s not mumbo jumbo or New Age bullshit. And this is why personal experience is so convincing.
It’s one thing for you to read about this experience in a blog. It’s a whole other thing when it happens to you!
Here’s something else I learned: Music is powerful. Its repetitiousness builds momentum. When I repeat lyrics to myself, sing-along out loud, or listen to songs over and over, I amplify that song’s frequency in my “signal mix”.
It behooves me then to pay attention to what types of music I’m listening to, doesn’t it? And choose only music supporting positive perspectives.
· · ·
The rest of that day I played with my learning. I listened to my playlist. Every time a song came on, I felt for its frequency. How did I feel when I listened? Did it close the gap between me? Or widen it? If I felt a song triggered even the slightest negative effect, I skipped it.
Songs are stories. They’re stories a talented storyteller tells. It’s a new perspective for me, seeing songs this way. There are a lot of songs out there telling not-so-positive stories.
Curating my music helps cultivate a high frequency mix. I keep it high by weeding out songs that don’t resonate.
So what are you listening to? Is your playlist filed with songs about lost love, broken hearts, angry black men, “Fuck Da Police”, “pussy” and “bitches”? Not judging genres. I know, for example, that my frequency response to certain songs depends on my relationship to those songs. Rap, for example, can be uplifting.
It’s easy to let others’ beliefs and stories shape our mood and therefore our reality. Songs are a powerful way other people’s stories do that.
Thanks to my Broader Perspective, I now know my daily life is curated by, among other things, songs I listen to. Going forward I’m choosing my playlist more wisely.
[A note from my Broader Perspective: this post is so full of wonderful epiphanies, it’s a pleasure to share it. It’s especially wonderful because it shows how everyone benefits from every action happening on the planet. Even though that may not be immediately perceivable.]
Everybody knows perception is reality.
If I believe, for example, that Trump is an idiot, I can’t see all the good things he’s doing.
If I believe Trump is Making America Great, I ignore things he’s doing that aren’t so great.
Those things are not in my perception as “not-so-great things”. 🤷🏽♂️
Which begs the question “Can ‘truth’ really be objective?”
Perception is reality. But where do my perceptions come from? How do I “perceive”?
Another question: Am I perceiving an “objective, real” world? A world independent of my perception and yet verifying my perception as “the truth”when I perceive it?
And if not, where does “reality” come from? Is something else happening?
I now know my perception, and my reality, both come from what I believe. Here’s an example from this week showing how this happens (this post was started on December 11).
I’ll share the story first. Then, I’ll share the logical, nonphysical explanation behind the story.
I deliver packages for large online retailer. It’s a bridging job. I don’t do it for the money.
It’s good having the money. The job and money both bridge a gap between limiting beliefs I’m soothing, and beliefs creating the reality I want.
I’m a top performer in this job. I’m also known at work for being super-positive.
It annoys some people. 🤷🏽♂️
Last week a driver told me one of her beliefs. She didn’t know she was doing that. She thought she was telling me “the truth”.
“I can’t finish my route and take my breaks,” she complained. If I’m going to finish my route, I have to skip my breaks.”
This is not “truth”. Although it is her reality. So for her, it’s “true”. It is a fact in her perception. When she delivers, she must skip her breaks so she can finish her route.
I told her, that doesn’t have to be true for her. And that if she wants, I could show her how she could get both: finish her route and take her breaks.
• • •
That driver yesterday asked me for those tips. The first, and most important tip I told her was this: what she believes about her route creates her route.
She looked at me funny. I kept going.
I showed her a couple approaches, organizing her packages, monitoring certain actions. But I emphasized her attitude as crucial to being able to take her breaks.
I pointed out, for example, that “worry” about getting too many apartments and no place to park collapses (in her perception) her experience to include ONLY these events.
So she develops “task urgency panic” – knee-jerk actions adopted to overcome her perception of “not enough time” aka “time scarcity”.
Task urgency panic, in a delivery job, looks like driving faster between stops. It looks like moving faster from vehicle to door. It looks like skipping important steps, such as double checking a package’s address label with the address on the house you’re at.
In task urgency panic, anxiety increases. Anxiety happens when a delivery driver’s reality collapses into stories like these:
Those stories create the anxiety. “Anxiety”, the feeling itself, is communication. Most people don’t understand emotions that way. But that’s their purpose.
“Anxiety”, the feeling, is trying to tell the person feeling it, something important.
But usually, when a person feels anxious, or any emotion, instead of stopping and thinking about why they’re feeling that emotion, they instead have knee-jerk reactions to the story underneath that’s responsible for creating the emotion.
That same story creates reality perception.
That perception is real to the perceiver. This driver doesn’t have time. So the she must act in haste to try to “make up time”.
Haste, especially when driving, introduces mistakes. Mistakes increase delivery time. Mistakes also make routes take longer.
Perceiving I don’t have time to take breaks is a legitimate reality: It’s real to me. But it doesn’t have to be my reality. This driver’s behavior is the ultimate manifestation of the reality she’s creating. She perceives she doesn’t have time, so she acts like that. Which creates the reality matching her perception.
Which is coming first? The reality? The perception?
It looks like the route takes longer because it DOES take longer. She believes it’s going to take longer. So she gets anxious. She panics. She takes action from that panicked state. Actions that introduce errors. Errors that increase delivery time.
Her perception then is the route becomes “so hard I can’t take my breaks.”
Her perception is her reality. But, again, which came first?
I explained yesterday that everything starts with attitude. I didn’t say the following. She wasn’t ready for this. But since you’re reading this, the following will be helpful.
• • •
A positive attitude is analogous to positive perception. Your attitude (where you stand) is such that you only see life’s positive aspects. Just as when you’re anxious the world gets colored by the story creating the anxiety, when you’re positive, the positive stories do the same thing your anxiety-inducing stories do: create an emotion consistent with them, then a reality consistent with them too.
A positive attitude means even when you observe something you interpret at first as negative, you change that story into a positive one. You know you’ve done so when you no longer feel negative about what you’re interpreting.
A positive attitude is perception. You’re perceiving positively. Your thoughts about what you’re observing are stories. You’re drawing from the infinite expanse of thoughts, thoughts consistent with a positive focus.
Thoughts thought over and over become beliefs. Once thoughts become beliefs, they fade into the background.
BUT by the time a thought recedes into the background, it has generated enough momentum to project itself into physical reality. It then becomes perceivable by you. First as emotion, then as other physical real-nesses.
Real-nesses including actual, physical life experience beyond emotion.
Other “realities” inconsistent with that belief disappear. They’re still there, but you can’t find them. That’s why someone who BELIEVES Trump is doing great doesn’t see any evidence contrary to that.
So how do you change reality? You change perception. How do you change perception? By changing what you believe. How do you change what you believe? By changing what you think about frequently.
• • •
I could see on this driver’s face that her beliefs don’t include anything you just read. Her face screwed into a picture of disbelief. It was as though I was speaking Swahili. I was giving her gold. She thought it was lead. We’ll see what happens next. I’ll include an addendum to this story as things unfold.
My experience is when I share this information, the Universe shows the person I’m speaking to evidence of the information’s accuracy…then, gradually, that person’s life starts changing. So do their behaviors.
The same day I offered this information, I had a route with 100 stops. Almost 140 pkgs. The driver I spoke with said she gets anxious any time she sees she’s got a route with more than 80 stops. I believe I can easily deliver 100 stops (or more) safely and take my breaks.
Now, I’m about to share what happened with this route. Looking back at it, I have to say, I’m pretty amazed by it too. I’m not making any of this up.
At around 7 p.m. I was ready to start the last delivery zone. That zone had 11 packages. My shift ends at 8:30 p.m. So I had plenty of time to deliver these final packages. I was taking a break, when Bryan, another driver and one of my friends, called. He said Central Ops (CO) is sending him to take some of my packages. When CO does this, it’s called a “rescue”.
I had plenty of time to finish the route. Eleven packages would have taken less than 30 minutes.
For a moment, I was annoyed. I love finishing early. I nearly always finish early. It feels great. Like completion. I get a lot of satisfaction from it.
So here was CO screwing with my wonderful route! Why were they sending me a rescue when I didn’t need it, I thought. Now they’re going to send me to rescue someone else…and extend my evening!
Then I caught myself! Did you catch it?
At that moment, I knew from the negative emotion I was feeling (annoyance, whiny, disappointed, haughty) that these thoughts were not in my best interest. They would create a reality I didn’t want.
So I changed my thoughts. I thought ok, Bryan, come get some. I’m happy to give up these packages. Let’s see what comes next. Besides, I’ll see my friend in the field. That’s happened only once before and it was fun!
Bryan took my last bag. It had 11 packages in it. When he saw it had 11 he was excited.
“This is so good Perry,” He said. “I’ve been wanting to do this since the [holiday] peak season started. I haven’t had a chance to get one of those gift cards.”
The Universe gives everyone what they want. There is never competition for anything. Everything is always getting everything everything wants. This was a perfect example.
Our company offers incentives during the holiday peak. One is, if you finish your route, then help another driver by taking at least 10 packages and successively deliver them, you get a $10 Starbucks card. I have eight cards. Bryan had none. He wanted to get one. Here was his chance.
That also meant something cool was in store for me! When I thought that thought, my attitude changed. What happened next was pretty cool.
I finished my remaining stops, then CO called me as I suspected (or created?). They asked if I would help out Mark, another driver. His delivery device quit. Central Ops told me I’d have to take the rest of his route (21 packages, double my final zone) because Mark couldn’t deliver with a busted device.
I called Mark. I figured there was more to this story. Mark said he tried everything. The device doesn’t work. On the way to Mark’s location, a thought kept coming to me. “I’m going to fix whatever is going wrong with that device,” it kept saying.
It was more of an intention than a thought. Like I was deliberately shifting reality….
Meanwhile my other friend Diane texted me. Diane is such a loving person. She didn’t want to see me commuting by bike in December’s chill and rain. So she offered a while ago to drive me to and from work. She’s another wonderful manifestation.
Anyway, Diane let me know CO called her. She got dispatched on a rescue too. That meant she might be late returning to the station. It was all working out. Had I finished earlier, I would have had to wait who knows how long for her!
I drove to where Mark was. Together we looked at his device. He had turned it off after we talked on the phone. I asked him to turn it on.
Honestly, I was surprised. And not surprised. Then I felt delight, for many reasons. My thought/intent about the device came about. That felt good. Mark was relieved I was there. That felt good. Mark and I decided to split his final zone. He took 11 packages. I took 10. Together we knocked his route out. That felt good.
CO thanked me for helping out. That felt good. I got to see Bryan in the field and help him get a gift card. That felt good. And, instead of delivering twice the number of packages in my remaining time, I ended up delivering one package less than I would have…so really, it all worked out…for everyone. Even Bryan!
In a funny side-note: Diane texted again. She said she finished her rescue, called the station and they suggested she come help me finish what I was doing.
By the time I got to the station, Diane arrived at exactly the same time. That felt good too!
Talk about an abundance of manifestation!
I know perception is reality. But perception has an origin. I know that when I’m choosing Positively Focused beliefs my perception must change to include only those things that accord with my beliefs. That’s how I create my reality.
And that’s why my reality is so freaking fun!
Thoughts are living things. They exist as we do. Like us, they want full self-expression. In this time-space reality, “full self-expression” is “constantly becoming more than it was before”. Physical reality is the furthest “forward” version of “becoming more”. Evolution through physical reality is even more “forward”.
So everything wants to become real. Everything begins as a thought.
Associated with these thoughts in the Inner Reality are untold numbers of personality essences. These are “beings”, again, like us, who “resonate” or are “tuned to” that thought.
It’s very similar to the consciousnesses that make up our bodies. Our bodies, as you know, comprise of billions of cells. Each cell has its own consciousness. Associated about that consciousness are thoughts. Thoughts which represent pure positive representations of probable, alternate, past and future versions of that cell’s physical reality. All that consciousness associates and collaborates along with all the others, and with your consciousness, ongoingly creating what you know as your body moment by moment
Your body, my body, represents a collection of thoughts, which, delightfully find themselves “manifested” as a physical form. Take my body, for example. thoughts about my body are focused into physical reality through attention. Attention each consciousness associated with my body brings to the “idea” or “thought” of “Perry’s physical image”.
They (those thoughts) are reveling in my existence. They revel because my physical body is the forward-most expression of thoughts associated with “me” made manifest. Every aspect of my appearance corresponds to a thought or idea.
So when I think a thought, what’s really happening is, I’m tuning myself to a “tone” which resonates with the thoughts I think I’m thinking. I’m not really thinking those thoughts though.
What’s really happening is, when I tune myself to that tone, I am able to receive, or perceive, or become aware of, “nonphysical reality”. The “nonphysical reality” I experience is what occurs to me as “a thought”.
So what is happening when a person thinks is, they are tuning into the tone of a living being. A living being we call “thought”. That being becomes perceivable by the thinker. The thinker then tends to put that thought into action, which moves the thought more forward, thus delighting the thought. Of course, the thinker finds delight in the forward movement too. Which feels like pleasure, eagerness, excitement, anticipation, appreciation, happiness…and other positive emotions. Life is a massive collaboration.
There are an infinite number of thoughts out there. Thoughts of all persuasions. Every thought that has been thought still exists. So it’s possible to tune oneself to any thought at all. Which explains where nightmares, ghosts and goblins, and inspiration for novels or art or music come from…
I know I can tune into any thought I want. But I have a…let’s call it a chord…a base set of melodies I most resonate with. Those tones are the basis, the core of what I am. When I tune myself to those tones, thoughts I receive or perceive feel the best. That’s because they accord with my own “chord” or “base melody”.
This is synching up, or aligning with my Broader Perspective. My Broader Perspective is the collective chord, or melody from which I emerged and continue emerging.
You have a melody too. All chords are harmonious and positive, uplifting and moving everything forward.
So, when I tune myself to a tone or set of tones which bring to me a thought or set of thoughts, those thoughts are seeking full expression. They also are associated with thoughts that already have experienced and are experiencing full expression (in the moment). That association then brings not only thoughts from nonphysical into my perception/awareness/consciousness, it also brings fully-manifested thoughts into my perception/awareness/consciousness.
These fully-manifested thoughts look like things: objects – trees, buildings, newspapers, the internet, etc. This explains how Law of Attraction, for example, allows people to turn their desires into reality.
Situations, physical objects, events, people, circumstances are all manifestations. They are furthest forward expressions of thoughts. It looks like physical reality because that’s what a “body’s” sense organs are designed for. Otherwise, physical reality might look like sound. Or vibration. Or just noise.
So when I think about conservative people who love what Trump is doing, I can see why they feel that way. And why they can see what they see, and not see what people who “think” or “tune” differently see.
I also can see how the world and the Universe is big enough to allow all perspectives full expression. It’s the purpose of both the world and Universe: to give room for the full expression of all ideas.
My role in that is the focuser. I get to choose through my focus what thoughts, and thus what realities I want to see in my time-space reality. I choose those which feel best to me. Those are thoughts embodied in things like Copiosis, Positively Focused and The Transamorous Network. Thoughts which recognize that we all are creators, here for the fun and for the expansion of All That Is.
After all, we all have perceptions. Why do we perceive? We’re supposed to be perceiving for the fun of it. Because creating is fun. Living is fun.
Seeing one’s life match one’s desires is most fun of all. That happens best through being Positively Focused. When we’re Positively Focused, we’re seeing the world the way All That Is sees it.
It’s all fun.
Addendum #1 (added Dec 17): Last week the driver mentioned above (let’s call her Amy) said “I used the suggestions you gave me. But they didn’t work. The delivery order was random, not the sequence you said it would be”. I didn’t tell her this because she wasn’t ready: the reason it didn’t look like it was working is because the momentum of her belief didn’t allow it. She needs to keep practicing the belief work more.
Unbeknownst to me, another driver, let’s call him Troy, overheard a part of my original conversation with Amy. the next day, he came up to me and asked for tips. I told him the same thing I told Amy. He told me he was going to try the tips. Contrary to Amy’s skepticism that they would work, Troy was eager and excited. He felt hopeful. Guess what? The next day, he came up and thanked me. He said he already could see how these tips can help. He said he’s going to keep trying them. Skepticism is a negative emotion. It’s akin to doubt. Eager and hopeful are positive emotions. They indicate perception consistent with how All That Is sees the world. Positive emotions indicate clarity.
Addendum #2 (Added Dec 22). Last week Amy and I were at the delivery station. We started talking. She said “I want to be positive like you”. It was an opening. I didn’t step in. I just let the moment be. Then she changed the subject. A couple days later, she brought candy canes in for all the drivers. She’s never seen this before…