Walking home this afternoon after collecting footage slated for an upcoming film, my own consciousness struck me. On the way home strolling through an old growth treed park, I realized…I’m free.
No job. No boss. No income I depend on. Instead, money comes through alignment. Soon, as my Inner Being alignment grows more consistent, and legacy resistance subsides, more money, more opportunity, more of everything will show up.
I know this as sure as I know the Earth spins consistently in her orbit.
Be, do, have. Hearing that the first time, I loved it. Learning about it, I thought “Gee, wouldn’t it be great were it true?” Now, evidence I produce tells me it is true. And so I know. I understand the meaning and function of “Be, Do Have”.
Be. Do. Have.
I think most think it’s “Do, Be, Have”. That’s the way I wrote it here first. That’s also the way I practiced it. I once did things someone who has what I want does. In time, goes the instruction, I would feel (be) the way that person feels. Then, eventually, the Universe would bring me those things I wanted, things that person has now.
I know now that can work. Problem is, most likely someone trying to “do” first, will struggle. In the struggle, they’ll entertain thoughts consistent with what they don’t want, not what they want.
For example, someone who wants to have a racing career might start out being a go cart racer. She might not be that good at first though. She might get negative feedback, then take that feedback to heart. She might believe it. Then she might think thoughts consistent with the feedback. “I’m not as good as I think.” Or, “I took that corner so badly.” Or, “I’m not as good as so-and-so.”
Such thoughts are self-perpetuating and reality-creating. Her driving behavior will increasingly reflect her beliefs. Her driving behavior is early-stage manifestation born of earlier-stage manifestation: her beliefs.
If “Do” comes first a pitfall accompanies it: If I haven’t first practiced thoughts consistent with what I want, then thoughts consistent with what I don’t want dominate, eventually creating realities consistent with them.
“Be” first means tuning into thoughts and cultivating beliefs consistent with what I want. I be first. Do comes naturally from that because when I tune to thoughts consistent with what I want, my Broader Perspective guides or suggests behavior to take and, when I act, since my thoughts and beliefs already point in the “right direction” (towards the reality I want), they don’t contradict my behavior. Instead they amplify it.
My behavior is keen too. More refined. I don’t focus on the result. Instead, I play (DO). I have fun. Results take care of themselves. Including results that look like films or experiences I want or sustainable money flows.
Being and doing
Next is have. But the having holds a secret: I first must soothe old beliefs I’ve cultivated which oppose what I want. If I believe my skin color makes me inferior in ANY way, which is a common socialization meme, then I feel “insecurity”; an emotion telling me that belief is bullshit.
But if I’ve believed that a long time, then that belief will stand between me and what I want to have. If my belief in what I want to have is strong enough (the DO), then that belief momentum can “break through” that resistance. That’s a bumpy way to create reality though. Very hard to sustain too.
I prefer soothing old beliefs by taking attention from them and putting it on thoughts I’m cultivating into beliefs, beliefs consistent with what I want. Putting my thoughts on what I want is what being is all about.
My primary job: being. My Broader Perspective handles everything else. I be and tune into it.Tuned in I receive its guidance. Only then do I DO. That doing, being more powerful by virtue of Be-momentum, lines me up with outcomes already existing in future probable realities. Those realities become my realities gradually.
Delighting in the process, time becomes irrelevant. Before I know it, I have what I want. Then the having expands.
And that’s the conscious awareness striking me as I write this. I want more than anything freedom as life experience. I have that. It’s significant because as I stand in “being free”, I know that’s the most powerful place. It’s consistent with where my Broader Perspective stands in nonphysical. THat means I’m in tune.
That means everything else I’m wanting is also flowing, just as freedom as life experience now is.
I love how life experience surrounds me with evidence of my clarity. This morning, I’m seeing “the web of life” exemplified through actual webs: spider webs.
Yesterday my landlord expressed shock at the spider population. One can’t walk three feet in a garden or a yard and not run into spider webs. They are everywhere; including indoors: my room, common spaces, and, of course, outside.
Today spiders don’t bug me. Their being proves life’s abundance. I’ve blogged before about seeing coyotes, rabbits, deer, snakes, opossum and raccoon. Not to mention insects, rats and, yes, spiders. Life proves life’s abundance.
Through focus on life abundance, I find it easier seeing material and financial abundance. When material and financial matters generate adventure and eagerness instead of worry and lack, then “material and financial abundance” no longer feels like new age pap. I start seeing it everywhere, then feel it too. Feeling abundance leads to experiencing abundance. I know everything starts with “being” and “feeling” is what “being” is all about.
Life sustains life
After sharing her spider tales, I told my landlord about my experience seeing a wasp one morning delicately snatch a spider straight from the center of its web. The wasp carried the spider to a leafy branch, a few feet away. There it stung the spider, then ate it.
The wasp did this twice more, leaving three perfectly spun webs devoid of their creators. I felt blessed seeing this web of life at work.
Looking at spider webs I used to think they were traps where life gets extinguished. Now I see them as webs of life, as spiders need to feed too and every spider potentially feeds wasps. Every death is a suicide, so I know those who ensnare themselves in spiders’ webs, do so on purpose.
These days, when I feel a web’s gentle touch on my arm, my face or bare leg while walking through a park, my yard, or through my room, I no longer feel shock and surprise. These days when I see a spider inside, I do my best to escort the little lover outdoors. They are living expressions of All That Is, as am I. They don’t deserve to live, they are life. I get their connection to me and me to them. It goes deeper than the feeling of their webs across my body or knowing through a long string of cooperation, I am as the spider and as the wasp. I know now all life, every kind no matter its size, contributes to the whole.
So when I see a spider indoors, or when I stumble into a web, I no longer kill the web-spinner…most of the time. Instead I marvel at how complete and effusive the web of life stretches; and appreciate my part in its interconnectedness.
“This stuff makes no sense,” A client said. “It totally illogical. How do you know this stuff works?”
This client’s frustrated outburst is part of the path. In only six weeks their relationship transformed, they’re feeling more comfortable in their skin, feeling happier and more excited about life. They’re now pursuing dreams of becoming a well-paid musician by taking practical steps in that direction. Their life: better, their mood: more positive, their experience of life experience: more fun.
Why did such a question come up despite all this evidence?
In a word: momentum.
For a while it’s a roller coaster
When clients first start working with Positively Focused, they get excited. They see evidence of their life getting better everywhere. The more they alter their stories and perspectives, the more evidence they see.
At some point though, old stories reassert themselves. These old stories are living things, like everything else. They enjoy life energy they get when a person focuses their way. When a person stops focusing on old stories, they sort of push back. They don’t want to lose attention they once got.
When they push back, clients feel the negative emotion that comes with that. Momentum ensues and, before you know it, they forget evidence they created that excited them just days ago.
This is normal. It’s also why it helps having someone who’s walked the path and knows what to expect. That’s where I come in.
How do I know all this stuff works?
I know this stuff works because it’s working in my life. I know it works because my desires are coming true all around me. I know this stuff works because I feel excited about this work, I feel excited about life, about living, about the evidence happening in my life, both in physical and nonphysical. I’m excited because life feels so freaking great…and that’s because of this work.
In their frustration, this client couldn’t understand how I have insight to All That Is and “nonphysical”. They couldn’t understand how I speak so confidently about how the Universe works, how it’s designed by us to deliver all we want, and that life is supposed to be a positive adventure. They couldn’t understand how I could know something “limited human consciousness can’t possibly know.”
I told him the reason they can’t understand it is because they’re not yet where I am. I told them human consciousness is only limited when the human believes their consciousness is limited. The reason why I speak with such confidence, I told them, is because I’ve changed my stories, and my reality broadened to include awareness of the nonphysical world.
I have a third degree black belt in nine different martial arts. It took me about five years to get to that level. I once trained others in these schools. When I did, I spoke with the same clarity and confidence about that material as I do about “stories create your reality and here’s how.”
In the martial arts field, what separates my opinion from an opinion of a white belt, someone who is just starting or someone who has now experience at all? Experience, practice, knowledge and wisdom that comes from five years of personal experience with the material, with guidance from a 15 degree blackbelt who’s been training in this material over 35 years.
The same is true with this work. While others focus their attention on perhaps finding love, raising families, building careers, wealth and material satisfaction, I’ve focused my attention on epistemology and ontology using empirical methods applied across a wide variety of “spiritual” fields. I’ve been doing this at least since I was six.
Walking the path makes me an expert
So I am clear. I speak with confidence and clarity in this field in the same way I do in martial arts: I know because I’ve walked this path so long, I just know it.
The cool thing is, anyone can do what I do. With diligence and focus, anyone can have a life they love filled with everything they want and then show others how to get that. Life is meant to be lived happily. Do that and you’ll have a happy life. The question is, how do you “do that”?
That’s what I know and what I show my clients.
By the end of our time together, this client was back in their usual happy space born from doing the work for 12 weeks. They thanked me as my clients usually do: by telling me they love me.
I understand who and what people are. I relate to them from there. When I do, they feel that. When they feel that, they can’t help but express love for me. I’m loving them after all.
Frustration: that’s part of the path at first. Because I know this, I don’t let doubts about my credibility shake my confidence. I do the work, which is why I know what I know. And that’s why I can help people create lives they love.
This story is hilarious. I almost wrote “unflattering”, but you’ll see at the end that this story flatters me in the sense that I saw how this infuriating situation was also a massive blessing.
Summer’s sun, blue skies and Oregon’s hot breezy air called me out again last weekend. I love working outside along the Willamette River shores. I enjoy Ospreys above and salmon jumping skyward likely avoiding sea lions and their chisel like teeth.
I decided I wanted more of that, so I packed my bike. I packed light, my portable chair, my iPad and nothing more. I planned to finish reading Ross Douthat’s The Decadent Society, its insightful take on current reality had my attention for weeks now. I anticipated exploring Douthat’s take while enjoying the Oregon summer.
That’s not what happened though
Oregon’s governor recently eased lockdown mandates. With her decree, all of Oregon made similar plans. I expected a few people riverside, but wasn’t prepared for crowds that showed up.
A forty minute bike ride turned into an hour while I tried finding suitable, solitary rest stop. I finally decided on a rocky shore devoid of human for lack of any sand. But I had my chair. I didn’t need sand.
I parked my bike, set up my chair then settled into Douthat’s narrative. Thirty minutes later, a couple with two dogs showed up. The young, tattooed Portlanders led their dogs to the water’s edge, unleashed them and threw tennis balls into the river. The larger of the two dogs, a pit-bull, leapt into the water while its smaller puppy companion barked in envy. Then the puppy eased into the water, found it agreeable and went for a swim. I smiled then turned back to Douthat.
Minutes later, the puppy was licking at my bare legs. I’m not a dog person, but I can appreciate a cute pooch. On this day though, I just wanted to read in quiet on a beautiful day. It annoyed me that this dog suddenly was licking my leg. But what annoyed me more was the fact that its owner hadn’t done his legal duty of keeping his dog under control.
I lifted my legs away from the pooch, clearly annoyed, which the owner saw. He came bounding to my rescue, scooped up his dog with an apology and returned to his spot. There, he put it on a leash. His partner too re-leashed the Pit-bull.
All that was nice. But it was too late.
I got hooked in frustration-momentum
Momentum is a powerful thing. Especially negative momentum born of oft-told stories. I’ve harbored negative stories about dog owners who don’t keep their dogs leashed and therefore under control as leash laws mandate. So much so it’s one of my “pet peeves” (oh god! no pun intended!).
Recently when I read about a “Karen” from Central Park Manhattan who made a racist false police report against a fellow New Yorker who politely asked her to leash her dog in an area where a leash law was in force. The fellow New Yorker, a board member of the New York City Audubon Society who happens to be African American, recorded the whole incident. The recording went viral and popular outrage caused the woman to lose her job and her dog. Reportedly, New York is considering banning her permanently from Central Park and the District Attorney is considering pressing charges against her for making a false police report.
This story came to mind as that puppy slimed me. When its owner grabbed it and apologized, I mused whether he also thought about that Central Park incident.
The problem was, I didn’t shake the association, which would have been in my best interest. Comparing my experience to what happened to the Audubon Board Member wasn’t really fair. But old stories about my pet peeve combined with that viral Central Park experience in my head creating momentum that swept me up.
For the next half hour I couldn’t focus on my reading. My mind swirled around the association, my indignation, my annoyance and frustration….
What happened next was no surprise
The couple decided to pack up and leave, having I suppose, had enough time at the water’s edge. As they walked to the bike path, I heard the woman say to someone I couldn’t see “Sir, would you mind leashing your dog?”
The irony didn’t escape me. “Cosmic Justice” I thought. Little did I know said justice was just getting started…
I couldn’t hear the what the person she addressed said, but I heard what she was saying. I also got the annoyance in her tone:
“Why aren’t you willing to put your dog on a leash sir?” She asked. I turned, hoping to see who she addressed. I couldn’t see that person. She continued.
“My dog isn’t friendly,” she said. The person said something I didn’t hear.
“How many years have you been around my dog sir?” She replied. “I’m telling you my dog is not friendly.”
Apparently whoever she addressed had done nothing, so she reached down, picked up what looked like a 40 pound pit-bull and scrambled over rocks the rest of the way to the bike path with her male companion in tow.
I was thinking about karmic kickback, wondering how the couple felt now since they themselves hadn’t controlled their (little) dog. Which is why I hadn’t noticed that not seconds later another dog was sniffing at my leg!
It’s my turn…
I turned in surprise, saw the Husky, then darted around looking for the owner. Presumably this was the same person the young woman spoke with earlier. Finally I saw him sitting in a chair he set up behind me on the bike path’s edge.
My indignance increased. “Really?” I thought. “Twice in a row?” What did I expect? I create my reality. Here was the Universe serving me a big pile of pet peeve….a second helping if you will, this time via a Husky and yet another irresponsible owner.
But wait…it gets worse. Or rather, I got worse.
I should have known trying to get the owner to do anything about his scofflaw dog would be futile. After all I saw that play out just seconds ago. Never the less:
“Sir, would you please come get your dog!” I said with force ten annoyance.
The owner looked down at me, at his dog and said “he’s alright.”
“I’m not!” I said.
The owner said nothing.
At that, I’d had it!
Now I was fully in rage. That’s right, I was so angry, I was shaking. I wanted to strangle that damn dog and murder the owner. But I also knew it wasn’t the dog’s fault. So I directed all my rage (in my mind) at the owner. I wanted to first strangle him, then murder him!
I should mention I had the presence of mind at this moment to see the ironic humor here. A part of me knew what I was doing was ridiculous. It’s just a dog. But the principle folks, and the momentum of my pet peeve had me firm in its grip.
Clearly this guy wasn’t going to do anything about his dog. There was no way I could recover my state of calm at this point, not to mention focusing on Douthat’s prose. I decided then to gather my things and head home in a huff, which took all but a couple minutes.
But I couldn’t let it end that way. Noooo.
As I pushed my bike up to the bike trail, I made my “offender” clearly: white male in his 40s, beer in hand, listening to a transistor radio, minding his own business and cool as a 🥒. Perfect contrast to my seething rage, which at this point, boiled over and out my mouth:
“YOU’RE EXACTLY THE KIND OF PERSON WHO GIVES DOG OWNERS A BAD NAME!” I yelled in his general direction. I hopped on my bike and peeled away on the momentum of my righteous indignation. 😂🤣😊
That wasn’t the end of it.
A half-mile into my return trip, it struck me. What happened here? Why am I letting this situation shape how I feel? How I feel is more important than how I’m treated. In fact, I know by choosing how I interpret what happens in my life, I can create reality. Here I was doing what a noob at all this “you create your reality” business would do…
At this point, I should stop and say I know sometimes I’m going to get pissed. It’s just part of what happens when an eternal being comes into physical reality.
Thinking an enlightened person doesn’t get mad sometimes indicates misunderstanding about how physical reality works. Physical reality intentionally offers variety: things I want and things I don’t want. After all, how am I to know what I want if I don’t know what I don’t want?
How am I to know what thoughts feel better than others, if I don’t have a negative experience every now and then?
That’s what I thought one half mile into my return ride. And that’s when I decided I had the power here. I had choice.
So instead of continuing to seethe, I decided to put my attention on something else. Something more pleasing. So I noticed the blue sky. I noticed the green trees. I noticed how much I like riding my bike, how good the sun felt on my bare legs and arms, how good it feels on a Oregon summer day. In seconds I felt better. My feelings reminded me how wonderful it is working from Oregon’s riversides:
That’s when something amazing happened
The more I thought these thoughts, the better I felt. Then…
Ever had an experience where something happens, you react in a less than ideal way, then, later, you get a thought, an idea, an alternative way you could have responded that might have been more effective?
Well that’s what happened. In my increasing happiness I received an alternative scenario that played out in my mind. Rather than throwing a tantrum at the guy, I saw my self calmly rise, gather my things and my chair, walk up to the guy and set up my chair right next to him. So close our chairs touched side by side. Then I sat down, looked at him and began politely talking his ear off.
That’s when I burst out laughing, a belly laugh so strong it obliterated my anger. I let this alternative reality play through my mind, adding humorous bits here and there – I saw him looking at me surprised, then trying to ignore me, then suddenly packing up his things and stomping off, dog in tow off leash. I imagined him and I actually having a friendly conversation, chatting away like best friends. I imagined him and I sitting there, me chatting away and he trying to ignore my chatting tsunami in quiet annoyance…
And you know what happened next? The entire situation changed for me. No longer did I see him as the idiot epitome of bad dog ownership. Instead he became a shining example of what I could be.
This guy was doing his own thing, oblivious to what others thought and said about him
This guy was in his own reality, enjoying his life with his dog. So was the dog!
This guy had presence of mind, a centeredness so powerful, he appeared unphased by not only one, but two verbal aggressors trying to knock him off his rocker
As much as I want to vilify him, he demonstrated to me vibrational mastery. And at that point he went from villain to teacher.
I want to be like that. I want to be calm in the face of storms.
And, in fact I am, nearly all the time.
Which is another thing he taught me: that I am that nearly all the time. When I’m not, there’s always something great in the experience I learn about myself and about my Positively Focused practice.
Sitting on a park bench makes me a witness to earth’s teeming biome. Look as spaces between living trees teems with as much life as that which exists on each tree’s surface, or the life in the park, including the woman and her dog, children and squirrels playing, grass and fruit and flowers all frolicking…
Flying life clouds the air ignored by all but that which flies among it. Smaller life becoming meals for bigger life, while seeds and spores pass borne on winds whose origins begin in earth’s upper atmosphere as it rises with the sun’s heat, then returns to earth as cools in its ascent.
I sit here kissed by that same wind while resting on what remains nevertheless a living thing that once was a tree and now is a park bench. It too composed of countless life forms, as countless as those coursing through and in and out of me.
Life has no bounds anywhere. Everywhere we turn life beats us there. It is both creator and creation, reveling in itself. Taken in its totality, it is All That Is. Just as I am.
Prospective clients sometimes ask about what client sessions are like. Some wonder what I do with clients. Let’s take that last question first.
I provide context where clients get clear about who and what they are. In that clarity, they find what I found in my own clarity: That they create their life experience ongoingly.
When they find that, life takes a turn. It becomes fulfilling, fun, fantasical seeming, although it’s not fantastical, it’s just how life works when Positively Focused.
Gradually clients enter their creative powers while learning, or re-learning how their creative powers work. They find happiness, freedom and joy.
I show clients their power and how to get it through a mystical experience that feels like a conversation.
Now the first question:
What are client sessions like?
Client sessions are conversations where I share insights about what my clients talk about. The insights open greater awareness, both for clients and for me. Since I give clients access to me through text and email as well as our in-person sessions, I can share an example of how a session sounds.
The following is an email from a client who lives with his wife. Married many years, Clifton (not his real name) now wants out. He wants out because he finds his situation, including his wife Margo (not her real name either), intolerable.
Behind Clifton’s perceptions are belief constellations creating his intolerable situations, including Margo. Clifton is on his eighth session. Already he’s seen seemingly extraordinary shifts in his wife. Only they are not extraordinary.
By learning how to create his reality on purpose, Clifton has created a new-to-him version of Margo and a new-to-him version of their marriage. Clifton wants his freedom. But he knows he can’t have that until he makes peace with his current reality.
Being Positively Focused does that. It also makes his experience of his changing reality more fun, as you’ll read from this email exchange. Clifton gave me permission to share this exchange provided I remove identifying details. The bolded sections are Clifton’s comments, with mine following.
It’s the dreading one feels liberated from
So, I paid my income taxes today. Almost $4500. I had been dreading it and still haven’t filled out a return (though now I have REAL motivation to do so, ha ha), and was thinking , “Send them a crumb” — which is how I’ve done it for years. Throw the wolves a bone now and again and they’ll back off for a while (until they get hungry again). This year, practically at the last minute, I threw them the whole carcass.
It was liberating. I realize that I’ve always felt “liberated” (at least temporarily) whenever I am able to pay these creditors off at the calends (first of the month), and then I don’t have to worry about it anymore. Gives one a feeling of power.
It’s interesting, isn’t it, how something “dreaded” once done turns “dread” into “liberation”. Remember what emotions are about. Then ask yourself: what is it I feel liberation from? Is it really the taxes? Or is it the “dreadful” feeling, which indicates something important, and when freed from that you connect with something that feels comparatively liberating and powerful? Interesting thing to consider.
I have $50,000 tied up, but currently collecting nine percent annual interest compounded, some gold coins and another $10,000 currently tied up in the van (I cleaned it up and put a “For Sale” sign on it, but have yet to put an ad on Craigslist)
Most of the day was spent in that “Joy/Freedom” space. I had a good piano lesson with Sergi (graduate of a music academy in the old Soviet Union – can’t recall which, but it was a prestigious one). Earlier that day, I had been looking at a very wide screen monitor, 2nd hand at a local computer store. The store owner called me and informed be the price was almost $400 – more than I cared to pay, and I politely told him so and thanked him for getting in touch. I could have, of course – but I feel I should be spending those dollars on other things. Anyway, sure enough, I had a “hunch” on the way home and stopped at Goodwill. Found a working 48-in. TV that will double very nicely as an entertainment screen and a computer monitor. Price – $50. I liked that a whole lot better than $400. And it’s bigger. Yes, the stand’s a bit wobbly (probably why it was given away), but I imagine that’s just a matter of tightening a screw or two.
Nice job following the hunch. Life is an adventure, or can be, when one connects with All That Is and allows it to lead one to all one wants. It also becomes treasure hunt-ish. Who knows what lies around the next bend or building? And, the best footing from which to play the adventure is in “Joy/Freedom”. Absolutely.
Everyone seeks internal connection on their way…
Also feels good to me to reuse and/or repurpose something. That includes composting. I am not a fan of gardening (one source of conflict between Margo and I), but at least composting is a good way to make use of food that has “gone off” and would otherwise be wasted.
See the differing interests between you and Margo as wonderful sources of both joy and variety. Joy in that what you love you love and what she loves she loves…and you both get the same thing from both your loves: connection with your Broader Perspective.
Variety in that, in the relief of your partner’s passion, you, rather than being turned off by that, can turn instead (turn the other cheek) to YOUR passion and feel exactly what she feels when she’s tending to her plants: connection, flow, fun, exuberance.
Then, perhaps, you can feel appreciation – not conflict – when you turn back to what she enjoys, knowing she’s getting from her passion the same thing you get from yours and so your passion and hers are not all that dissimilar.
Not that it matters, or maybe it does – but I was in the market for a large monitor because as a composer, I often work with very large scores – and it is tremendously helpful to see as much of it as possible. Not practical on small monitors.
That you are “in the market” matters. You’re on your way…you’ve been on your way, but also have been resisting the “way”…to your dreams. The monitor is a manifestation – a sign post – indicating your waywardness. I use that word not in it’s traditional definition, which is negative, but in a new way, indicating “toward your way”. The way you connected with that TV indicates your “compliance” with your Broader Perspective.
And just as you were compliant [in such a way you realized previous, important manifestations] and now this manifestation, there will be many more instances of delight on your way….which is why life never creates wham-bang manifestations that happen in an instant like magic. Instant manifestation happens in nonphysical. But in the world of manifested things, All is set up so you can enjoy and savor the JOURNEY towards the destination. Each moment is a realization. The more you come into this conversation, the clearer your awareness and the more you’ll see this statement’s accuracy.
Most don’t see manifestation evidence because they don’t know what it looks like
This week, I also had the impulse to add something to an unrelated tweet [on Twitter]. Some actor had put himself out there, advising any directors or producers of his availability and experience. I retweeted and added that if anyone was looking for a great film composer, please consider me – and added links to samples of my work on YouTube. A couple of people retweeted it…usually, I don’t hold out much hope for these sort of things, but one never knows…trying to stay open to the possibilities.
This is a great example of your mixed energies. You don’t hold out much hope, but at the same time you “never know”. So you took action based on hope/who knows…and you saw a tiny manifestation of desire (that someone retweeted the tweet) outweighing your disbelief [expressed as “don’t hold out much hope”. Most miss these instances of evidence. Now you know it’s more evidence of you on your way. Nice.
Like the double recliner I bought for what I plan to be my “apartment/suite.” I sleep best in a recliner, which are typically for one — but when I saw it, I started thinking, “Hmmm…what if I get lucky?” Wouldn’t want to live with someone in that space (it’s pretty small), but it could be a nice place to entertain… 😆
Enjoy this unfolding process right up until you wake one morning with someone beside you and you get how you manifested them as you manifested the recliner! Objects, people, circumstances…the entire Universe: at your command.
Margo and I have been getting on better, I think. Monday evening, she apologized for being short with me earlier, but she had been feeling poorly (infected insect bites) and just wanted to do the Garbot thing (“I vant to be alone!”) I told her I felt her pain and understood completely – but in the future, please just come out and say that. I’ll respect it. (Actually, I’m glad to, ha ha)
I’m sure you would be happy to respect it. Isn’t it nice to see the movement forward with her? And didn’t it confirm our conversation about her that whenever someone appears upset with you, it’s never about you? It’s about THEM. ALWAYS.
Their connection (or rather their LACK of connection) to their Inner Being…that’s always the source of negative emotion. So next time you can know…and accept…and then run for the hills, when she indicates disconnection through ornery emotional expression!
Her infection and current state of well-being is also why I am yet again postponing telling her we need to get a divorce. Yes, because I think we have grown in different directions and neither of us are happy in the relationship the way we should be. Officially however, it is for financial reasons.
I have consulted with lawyers and financial advisers, and they basically say the same thing – I will be better able to provide for her if she is not my legal spouse. There is nothing illegal about it, couples often do it because one needs disability payments and it is impossible for one spouse to totally support the disabled one. Also true if they continue to cohabit. I knew someone who continued to live with his ex. And of course, we haven’t shared a room for years – and soon, I’ll have a whole space, complete with kitchen and bath, to myself. I have put this off for way too long. And I need to do it like, yesterday. But she’s feeling bad right now, and she’s not terribly stable in general. I am afraid for her.
“Fear” is an emotion. Fear for another indicates you, looking at another and seeing that person differently from how your Broader Perspective sees that same person. Yes, there are aspects of reality you think confirm the “truth” of what you think might happen if she were on her own. And, your strong fear indicates you creating a reality in which you get to witness her being exactly as you are creating her.
And…there’s another version of her you could draw to you and so experience. The same way you’ve done with her and her disconnection caused from insect bites. You are allowing more of the person you know her to be to shine through. But for now, it’s prudent to proceed on this path. It is, for both of you, the path with the least angst. Always a good idea: following that path.
Everything you want is right on your path
Eventually, I really don’t want to be living under the same roof with her – but for now, I have been attempting to rebuild some kind of relationship so she knows she’s cared about and won’t have to worry about her basic needs and won’t be abandoned to fend for herself (at this point, it would be like abandoning a child).
Anyway – this is how I must present it. As a strictly financial decision. Nothing else changes. We continue going on as we have, living in the same house (which will continue to be community property). She remains my sole heir and beneficiary. She’ll be able to get disability payments and EBT and remain eligible for Medicaid.
The difference is, I’m a free man. Period. What I will do with that freedom or how it will play out, I have no idea, but I’m staying open. She’ll be free as well. Gods know, I’ve tried to encourage her in her writing, and mostly the way she relates to animals. If there was an office of Ambassador to the Animal World (or at least carnivores, bovines and equines), Margo would do the job better than anyone else I know.
All this is good stuff. Mahayana Buddhists would say you’re being her Bodhisattva in creating such a caring landscape for her. It is good as I know you feel good taking this path.
Encourage her in thought, but don’t voice them. Let her and her Inner Being come to the realization wherein she puts her passions into practice and from that she creates a whole new world where money comes into her life easily and swiftly.
Sometimes, I think she’d be happier with her brother, running his huge ranch cabin as a B&B, taking care of the horses and the sheep and the dogs and cats. It’s what she spends most of her time and energy on anyway (and she complains about it, but I usually tease her, “You know you love it!”) So that’s where things stand…I’ve asked that “Broader Perspective” of mine to let me know when the right moment to announce the divorce is. About all I can do at this point.
Yes. As with the saw, as with the TV, as with everything you want, this is the best path. Do so and watch how easy the conversation goes. The more experiences like these you have, the more convinced you’ll become that this is the only way you want to live: surprised and delighted. Which is how you knew your experience would be when you first decided to come into physical reality.
I’m feeling resonant with my desires. I know my reality already changed. It matched my desire. Here I am at the park, being, enjoying being, feeling free, having no thoughts or active beliefs most people do about their health, about job insecurity, about lost love or insecure love, about finances…
None of this enters my awareness (other than the brief moment while I wrote the above) instead, I focus on the breeze at my back, indicating I move swiftly along my unfolding path. I focus on the beautiful day, indicating I’m creating reality consistent with desire. I focus on the song I’m listening to, the peaceful stillness in this park, the joy I felt working with a client 90 minutes ago, the smile in that woman’s face, the ease with which I just walked over four miles….
The nursery rhyme nails it:
Row row row your boat Gently with the stream Merrily merrily merrily merrily Life is but a dream.
Life is a dream and becoming more so. I love my positive focus.
While on a walk the other day, I gathered and ate fruit offering itself along my walking path. Every bite tantalized my tastebuds. Halfway through, it hit me: Earth’s abundance abounds. Everywhere I look, something shows how reality showers us with everything.
I decided I’d share my epiphany in a Facebook photo album I created while on the walk. The next day, two, then three rashes appeared on my body. One under my left arm, another on my abdomen and a third on my lower left flank.
The rash on my belly…
Hard to see it, but there’s a rash on my flank…
A big rash under my arm…
This happened before, years ago, while walking. I plucked and ate plums from a tree in my neighborhood, then, hours later developed rashes under my left arm and lower left flank.
Back then I attributed the rash to a plum allergy.
Now I know better…
I haven’t had health insurance in three years. I stopped seeing doctors and paying healthcare premiums because I knew by then my well being wasn’t up to “modern medicine”.
If I create my reality though my beliefs, I concluded, “reality” must include the most intimate of my reality – my body – as well, since it, like everything around me, is physical.
Proving to myself “thoughts create reality” requires an “all in” mentality. I can’t believe I create my reality and still buy health insurance. That would mean I don’t really believe I create my reality. 😊
When I got clear in my head that doctors and diagnoses weren’t necessary, that a positive focus and beliefs consistent with that would be all the “healthcare” I needed, I stopped buying healthcare.
Since then I’ve never been sick. No colds, no injuries…not even a sniffle.
When these rashes happened, I figured their origin wasn’t in the fruit. It had to be in my thoughts and beliefs. I thought about what I thought about on my walk. It took a while, using the process through which I recall dreams: rather than trying to find the thoughts, which is near impossible, I opened my mind and tuned myself such that those previous thoughts came back to me like a radio signal.
What I found was surprising…
I wasn’t very positive on my walk! I realized while enjoying these luscious bountiful, juicy fruits, I also was thinking about what people thought as they saw me doing that. Here’s what I thought:
People are watching me and disapproving
People are going to think I’m homeless, that I eat fruit off these trees because I can’t afford do get food from the store
People are going to think I live on the street in a tent somewehre
Eating this free food is wrong. I should be buying food from a grocery store (!)
Food isn’t free (!)
This is not food (!)
Can you believe that? Forget the fact that, while I walked over seven miles I didn’t see a single person looking at me. Thinking food nature gives freely is somehow not food, and that eating directly from nature means you’re homeless is just plain ridiculous!
For a moment I thought “where the fuck did I get these kinds of thoughts/beliefs?” The answer came when I went down a long old road, into my youth…until I realized I didn’t need any explanation. All I needed: new beliefs.
Later that day, I remembered a post I recently wrote about everything one experiences being positive. I knew this belief discovery and these rashes indicated something good. So I looked anew at my old beliefs and my new rashes.
Maybe the rashes meant something else, thought. Maybe they pointed to these old beliefs on purpose. Maybe too they mean something more, something when uncovered, would cause greater expansion…an increased self awareness that creates greater Inner Being connection.
Here’s what happened next
A few hours later, these rashes really started itching. Just before bedtime I started scratching and scratching…like a dog with fleas…until I fell asleep.
Waking the next morning, as I usually do, I recalled my dreams using my dream recall and analysis process. That’s when it struck me: I wasn’t scratching. I wasn’t even itching. In fact, I couldn’t even feel the rashes.
Then, the moment I thought those thoughts, my rashes started itching.
My real discovery started then. It’s hard to put this in words because what happened happened at a level beyond words. I’ll try to explain…
I found a way to tune my awareness to a vibration where I perceived my reality in a certain way, such that, the rashes disappeared. When I tune there, even now, I don’t sense the rashes. It’s like I’m in an alternate reality where they don’t exist.
I’m still learning, so I go in and out. Some hours I have no rash. Then, for a few moments I’m scratching. This morning I woke to the same experience. It’s been a few days, almost a week, and I’m better at this tuning…and I notice when I tune there, not only do the rashes disappear in my awareness, I also find my awareness “broaden” so that I can feel potential…
Potential inherent in my desires…things I want I know are coming when I focus there, but for now they remain invisible to the eye. When I tune there, I feel joyful, peaceful, a sense of freedom and a clear knowing that everything I want is not only on the way, I can see evidence of it as it unfolds..
This is the positive aspect of this whole rash situation: it clarified negative beliefs I had lurking around just beneath my awareness. But more important, these rashes were a communication from my Inner Being, a path of least resistance to me getting that a new frequency exists allowing perception of my now and my emerging nows, those future moments containing some of my biggest desires.
As you can imagine, I’m practicing this tuning even more. I’m also excited to share this practice with my clients. But I’m going to refine my ability with it before I share so when I do, I can share the entire story.
It’s going to be good. I know that because it already is!
The entire experience reminded me how irrelevant others’ opinions are. When I include them in my awareness they activate old beliefs that no longer serve me. Doing that brings dis-ease. But manifested dis-ease is beneficial. Looking underneath superficial manifestations reveals rich information. Such insights will lead to wondrous new perspectives, if I’m willing to take the plunge.
Sharing this entry from my journal as it may benefit others.
^^Bent knees discover great shots.
I’m on a walk. I was listening to a podcast when dreams I had this morning again flowed into my awareness as they do in sleep state, only I’m awake and walking.
^^the path along my walk
My brain is not a filing cabinet. It does not house “memories” in tidy, organized compartments within and among its folds. Rather, it is a frequency transmitter/receiver (as are other organs) sending and receiving signals controlled and emitted by nonphysical sense organs. Sense organs correspond to physical senses. Everyone uses these chaotically in dreams. Most are unaware of them during wake state.
These nonphysical senses are imperceptible when I focus exclusively on physical existence, yet I can deliberately, more and more control these in sleep state and wake state as I practice being Positively Focused. All this I know, not theoretically, but empirically.
As an emerging master
I know then these delicious, ecstatic and lucid images and sounds and feelings, returning to my awareness while waking and walking, mean that on my walk I tapped into frequencies matching dream state frequencies.
Their arrival also means my Positively Focused practice pays off: I dream even while walking, meaning, my awareness simultaneously perceives in wake state and dreamscape. No small feat indeed.
The first images returning feature a tumultuous sea restrained and yet cooperating with a sea wall. As I focus here, now on these images, by virtue of my practice, many other dream scenes now flow/return to my awareness. Waves of magnificent and infinite amplitude and power crash against these walls. Yet, despite the appearance of conflicting purposes — the sea’s desire to vanquish and thus overflow the wall, the wall’s desire to hold back the sea — the feeling tone of their combined energies is harmony of purpose, joyful energy sharing and mutual acknowledgement of one another’s role in the collective representation of that which my Inner Being is using to communicate with me, the wake state version of my Inner Being awareness.
That’s worth reading a second time. 😌
But wait…there’s more…
Recognizing this, waves of appreciation and joy sweep over me…not unlike these dream waves…overcoming resistance that once was my total exclusive focus in physical reality. For there once was a time when I didn’t know for certain, as I do now, nonphysical’s existence, nor was I, back then, aware I dreamt.
With that certainty now flows what’s known as “the secrets of the Universe”, known as that only because so few take time to find them.
Through these secrets I draw to me dream interpretation clarity:
The tumultuous sea represents massive changes underway in the broader context.
The massiveness of the waves and their power represent the intensity of my focus and my intention that Great Good result from all this (which is what’s happening).
The wall represents humanity’s resistance to the change.
The cooperative nature of both represent cocreation of a future bringing tectonic shifts in some humans, and my own awareness, which must equal identical shifts in my reality and collective reality.
Indeed, my perspective in this dream is not that of standing on the sea wall, nor on the tumultuous sea. Rather it is above both. A “God’s eye” view. That positioning too coordinates and cooperates with both wall and sea, meaning, I am both and more.
^^Trees and grass, roots and soil
Writing that sends shivers down my spine right now, indicating at the same time the accuracy of my interpretation and my Inner Being’s exaltation in my extraordinary clarity.
Oh how I stand in the now, focused on trees and grass, roots and soil, leaves and sky, eager and joyful knowing, not by faith, but by the clarity of my life experience, that everything is working out, that I am blessed, as all are, and that I am the center of the Universe, God in human form.
^^…leaves and sky…
And that is why I encourage and practice being positively deranged through a Positively Focused practice. It feels so good. And feeling good brings delight, insight as well as real life experiences matching that.
Mornings are joyous moments when I’m living in between two states that actually are one: dream life and walking life. I enjoy feeling wonderful and pleasure about both. I enjoy seeing how each informs the other. It’s beautiful feeling pleasure in both: coming out of dream state in ecstasy, moving into wake state in eager anticipation, knowing both contribute unique aspect that taken together form thrilling, joyous awareness of All That Is’ perfection as it constantly expands into more.