How I created $10,000

How I created

Life is delightful, and, sometimes challenging.

Last month, in cahoots with Inner Being, I realized over $10,000 in project funding. Rendezvousing with that money came surprisingly and delightfully, which is how “right timing” always feels.

Between jobs last month and with COVID-19 shutting down job opportunities, I slowed down looking for work. In that space, I realized what I wanted more than a job paying the bills, was my projects paying the bills.

But existing stories about my projects paying my bills created ongoing nows consistent with them. That’s why I needed work. I didn’t believe my projects could pay my bills. So that’s the reality I got.

• • •

Earlier this month, I decided I would allow those stories a path out of my awareness. Doing that, I knew they would no longer influence my Moment of Becoming.

Do that long enough, I knew, and stories consistent with my desires would show their momentum. My awareness would expand towards that and, in time, I would experience reality consistent with new stories, instead of what is.

That’s what I started two weeks ago. On Day one, determination reigned. By Day 12, old stories re-asserted themselves. All stories or beliefs or thoughts enjoy leaning toward their fullest expression. Once in the head, getting them out takes work, unless I know what to do, which I do, so it’s not work. It’s easy.

The withdraw
I left some in my account…just in case

My old stories reveled in my then what was. The more I looked for work, the stronger their momentum. Their revelry felt like pressure, fear and anxiety in me. Leading up to Day 12 I entertained thoughts like these:

  • I gotta get a job. My savings are running out.
  • I should take whatever I can get.
  • If I don’t take this job, there may not be others.
  • I’m in competition with others for jobs I want.

But then I reminded myself that I create my reality. Thoughts don’t create my reality. I do, by thinking thoughts. That means I can choose thoughts I think. Choose thoughts that feel good and I know by my good feelings, realities consistent with what my Inner Being has in store for me will become my reality.

That’s what I did. I chose thoughts that feel good. “Thoughts that feel good” sounded like this:

  • I don’t need to take any of these jobs I feel “blah” about
  • There are plenty of jobs available for me…
  • I’m not competing for the job that’s for me. It’s only for me.
  • My Inner Being knows the best job for me.
  • I’ll wait for that best job.

But then, something happened. I began thinking totally different thoughts, thoughts that felt even better!

  • I don’t want a job!
  • I enjoy working on my projects.
  • Why can’t my projects pay my bills?
  • They can!
  • I want that reality!
  • Working on my projects full time feels fun!

That was around Day six. Between Day six and Day 12, old belief constellations reasserted themselves several times each day. They (those beliefs) popped into my head under their own momentum.

Thankfully, I trained myself into monitoring my feelings. Any time I felt bad, I knew old stories popped up, even if I didn’t know what thoughts I thought at that time. Negative emotion usually came when my attention slipped into the future. That’s a no-no because when thinking about a future I want I easily slip into thinking about the “how” and the “when”. How will my projects sustain me? When will that happen? Will it happen before I run out of money?

Those thoughts always conjured negative emotion.

Sometimes I knew what thoughts I thought. Other times, I didn’t. Either way, anytime I felt negative emotion, I pulled my attention back into the now, then focused on the positive beliefs.

When I couldn’t shift my thinking because momentum had too much strength, I took a nap, or did something I enjoy: watch a favorite movie or take a walk.

By Day 14, I had done a lot of all that. I felt good.

On Day 14, I had wonderful dreams and epiphanies I journaled about. Then, one of my Positively Focused clients sent a message on WhatsApp. He’s not only a client, he’s keen about Copiosis, one of my projects. He’s given money to that organization before.

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My conversation with my client/gift-giver.

It just so happened, I launched a social media advertising strategy earlier in the week for that project. So I had plenty to show him. The progress excited him. So much so, he said he would give me more money to run that organization. Then he said to use the rest of his gift to fund my living expenses so I could work full time on my projects.

How much was “the rest”? Nine thousand, eight hundred and eighty dollars! I walked right into my desired reality. I withdrew most of that, but kept some in Bitcoin.

• • •

Here’s the thing about all this. That money is great. Now I don’t need a job. It will fund my living expenses for most of the rest of the year. More money is coming, I’m sure.

But what’s more thrilling is what I experienced on the way to this money. The deliberate focus. The lining up with my Inner Being. Clarity coming from that. Positive, wonderful, ecstatic feelings that come from that clarity. Every moment I stayed in the present moment, the Moment of Becoming, I enjoyed throughly. In other words, most of that time I was happy. I’m happy still.

Those times I didn’t I stay in the Moment of Becoming, I see as beneficial too. Without them, I couldn’t tell that I wasn’t in the Moment of Becoming. So even those times benefitted me. 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾

Getting the $10K is great. But desire fulfillment lasts hardly as long as the anticipation, the joyful expectations, the pleasure that is knowing it’s on its way, and seeing the signs as I move toward that fulfilled desire. Since I’m eternal, new desires will always spring up. So I’ll always be on the way to one desire or another.

That means, life gets mostly lived on a journey towards someplace. Every time I arrive, arrival births new desire. Which is why I know this: Life is about the journey. Not the manifestation.

Here’s how an effortless life looks

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I spoke with a client a couple days ago. He was in major distress. He’s a new client, struggling with his beliefs about a “diagnosis” he is allowing to shape his life experience.

He’s learning “diagnoses” are just beliefs with a lot of momentum. Therefore, any “diagnosis” can be reversed. He only need allow more momentum for the “diagnosis”-free state. When he does, that “diagnosis” will exit his life experience.

My client already is proving this to himself. He’s having improvement. But his focus is still too much on beliefs associated with “diagnosis”. So he often comes to our sessions in anguish.

A couple days ago he was distraught, in fear and crying uncontrollably. I helped him soothe that condition using the Positively Focused framework. He could have done this himself. Clients further along do this on their own. But Chris doesn’t quite trust himself.

Then told him if he practiced more deliberately what he is learning, he would see more improvement.

Two days later, he wrote me a message. He noticed improvement not long after talking the first time. Then he received a message from his Inner Knowing. It was a clear message to rest.

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But he also had an appointment with a doctor.

Instead of following is Inner Knowing and skipping the appointment, he went to the doctor, who, of course prescribed Chris some pills. That night Chris didn’t sleep at all. Not sleeping at all is one of the indicators of his manifesting “diagnosis”.

As you can see from his messages above, he was hard on himself. That’s when I clued him in on what’s really going on:

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After sending those messages, I got on my bike to head to a class. The path I take offers many options to get there. I usually take a path that includes crossing railroad tracks.  The day before, on the way home, I noticed a train crossing the road. So I took the alternate path home. I’m getting to a point… 🙄

Railroad tracks map
The path I take to my destination and my “inspired” alternate route over the tracks.

This morning, on the way to that class, I got close to where the tracks are. That’s when I got a message from my Inner Being. It said “take the [alternate path]”. At the same time, I saw in my mind’s eye, a train crossing the road, blocking traffic.

So I took the alternate path. Halfway over the road that passes over the train tracks, I got goose pimples. Then I felt a rush of exhilaration. That’s when I got how my client’s experience overlapped my own.

I received a message from my Inner Knowing just like he had. Only I followed it. And look what happened. Had I not followed my inner guidance, I would have been late.

I followed it though, so I got to class in plenty of time. I had so much time, in fact, I caught a video of the train…and wrote an entry about it in my journal.

When I got to class, I sent my client the video and told him how wonderful this was as a demonstration for him, but also for me, reminding me and showing him that our Inner Beings know everything about what we’re wanting and how to get it. No matter how big or small, our Inner Being is on it!

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This is how lining up with my inner knowing allows an effortless life. A life free of little annoyances. My Inner Knowing knows what I want and how to get it. And because it’s constantly showing me that, I can have a life that seems…well magical. If I tune into the guidance I’m sending me.

Anyone can have a life like this.

It seems like magic. Only it’s not magic. It’s just what happens when I get Positively Focused.

I think it’s awesome how both of us, my client and me, benefitted from this experience.

And I’m excited for my client’s continued adventure into his delightful life, free of that diagnosis. Soon he will have an amazing story to tell. Just like my client Tamar.

 

How Others Happily Do What I Want

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It’s easy to get people to do what I want. Being Positively Focused is the key.

These two stories show what I mean.

I have a friend I’ll call Jeff. Lately he’s been involved with a guy he’s head-over-heels for. So he spends nearly all his free time with that guy.

One day I sent Jeff a text inviting him over. He texted back saying he was pretty busy and offered the following week. That never happened.

Two weeks later I was riding my bike to get groceries. On my way I thought about Jeff. Then, I thought how great it would be to see a super hero movie. It had been a while since I saw one.

A day after buying my groceries, I realized I “accidentally” left at the register a bag of mixed nuts I bought.  I called the store. They said the checker remembered me and invited me to come get a replacement. I told them I’d head that way, weather depending.

I was enjoying creating art for my projects that morning. I really didn’t want to go. But then I got a strong impulse to go. I try to immediately respond to strong impulses.

So I checked the weather. No rain until afternoon. I jumped on my bike and headed over.

On my way, I rode past Jeff’s home. His door upstairs was open, which I thought was strange because his car wasn’t there.

Then, guess who comes around the corner in his car. It’s Jeff! We greet and hug. He tells me he just broke up with his boyfriend. I told Jeff that was perfect because now he can hang out with me.

He laughed and said, “and yeah, maybe we can go see a movie too. I hear that new Joker is really great. We should go this Sunday!”

See the connection? Just the other day I thought how cool it would be to see another comic book movie and here Jeff is suggesting we go to one. And, since “accidentally” forgot some nuts, I was able to connect with him in perfect timing, in person! How cool is that?

· · ·

I’m learning to interpret impulses I get as open doors. I don’t have to walk through. When I do, though, life delivers all kinds of surprises.

The week comes to an end. I haven’t been thinking about Jeff, or the movie he suggested we go see. But on Friday I heard a movie review. The movie stars Brad Pitt. It’s called Ad Astra. It sounded good.

I thought about Jeff and our Sunday plans. Then I thought, “I’d rather see Ad Astra than Joker.”

Sunday morning comes. I wake to wonderful dreams, enjoy a deep meditation and do a dream analysis. Then I prepare for my day using my Positively Focused framework.

I need next week’s groceries, so I check the weather. There’s a 90-minute rain-free window that comes…and goes.

I miss it.

So I put on my rain gear, take out my bike and head to get next week’s groceries.

Now, I know I’m in in tune with the Universe because of  what happens in my moment-by-moment life experience. When I’m in tune, the weather cooperates. People are friendly and generous.

Just before I head out, the rain stops. When I get to the store, I meet all kinds of friendly people. I have great conversations with other customers. Store employees are helpful and conversant. Pleasant too.

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A continuous stream of happy people coming into my life indicates a strong connection with my Inner Being and the Universe.  (My illustration)

I know I’m in a great Positively Focused place. So it was no surprise what happened next.

I get a text message. It’s from Jeff. It says: “what do you think about seeing Ad Astra?”

Of course the story doesn’t end there. We ended up going to the movie and having a great time.

· · ·

This next experience came six months later. The more I’m Positively Focused the gap between one seemingly magical event and the next narrows. These days, magical things happen near-constantly. Only it’s not magic. The universe want’s all of us to have what we want.

The more I tune into universal frequencies, the more things I want happen with no effort. Including people acting in ways I’d prefer.

I’ve said in previous posts I ride my bike to and from work. I like riding my bike, even in cold weather. It’s a great workout. The trip takes about 30 minutes.

But it’s late fall, early winter. It’s getting really cold and rainy. I have the right riding equipment. So I’m comfortable, but one day I wondered about how it would be when temperatures dip below freezing.

One night at the end of my shift, I had a thought. It said “Diane is going to offer to drive me home tonight.” Diane is another delivery driver.

When she drives home each night, she drives right by my house. I’ve never asked her for a ride because I like riding my bike. But this night, I had this thought.

When I got this thought, I let it sit there. I didn’t think about it any more than it was: a passing thought. But I imagined how nice it would be riding home in a warm car…

I clocked out. Then Diane came in. She clocked out, turned to me and said “let me take you home tonight. I’m worried about you riding home in the dark, at night, in the rain.”

I wasn’t surprised. I knew this was going to happen. When it happened, that’s what it felt like. That it was going to happen.

The next several weeks rain fell heavy. Winds blew hard and it was really cold. It’s like Diane knew the future.

Not only did Diane offer to drive me home. When we got to my house, she offered to pick me up the next day too.

Every day since then, we’ve been carpooling to and from work. I didn’t have to ask. It just happened.

I’m starting to interpret some thoughts as precognition. My Inner Being told me it was going to happen. Then it happened.

· · ·

A manifestation, no matter how amazing, always contains seeds for the next manifestation. Life is always getting better for a Positively Focused person. So even when something really cool happens, life says “hold my beer” and tops it. What happens next demonstrates that.

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I was enjoying riding to and from work with Diane. We became friends. But Diane has a story about money related to her family. Right now she’s the main bread winner as her husband is in school learning to become a teacher. Diane believes she must maximize her income as the bread winner.

What that means is, every evening, Diane would hang out at the van lot, or at the station and stretch out her shift to earn extra hourly time. I didn’t like that very much. I preferred to get home asap so I can write blogs like this one, draw or do other things.

While I didn’t like what was happening I didn’t try doing anything about it. I didn’t talk to Diane about it. I didn’t complain. Instead I considered the positives: being driven home. Not biking in the cold rain…

Honestly, though, there were times when I complained to myself a little. Sometimes I debated whether or not I should go back to riding my bike. I thought how nice it used to be getting home before 9 p.m.

Commuting by car was nice too though.

Then one morning when Diane picked me up, she said she needed to finish right when our shift ended. She said she planned to take her daughter out for her birthday. We finished right on time that night and got home early.

That felt nice.

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Diane and I coordinating so we get off right at the end of our shift.

The next day I asked her how the birthday event was. Then I said “it was nice to get home early. Wasn’t it?”

She agreed.

 

Then, the following day, Diane told me that her husband asked why was she was coming home so late all the time. He reminded her they were doing fine financially. There was no reason, he said, for her to work extra time each shift.

It’s interesting how that conversation happened. I had nothing to do with it. And yet at the same time, I knew my Inner Being’s hands (if it had hands) were all over this.

So when Diane told me what her husband said, I just said very casually how nice it would feel to come home early every night.

From that day forward, we always left no later than 15 minutes after our shift. That was nice! Because of that, I got home 15 minutes earlier than had I took my bike.

I can tell Diane likes coming home early. I’m sure her husband does too.

Both these stories show how intending rather than trying to control people creates my reality. The more Positively Focused I get, the more life just starts working this way. Things happen literally with no effort on my part.

And the fact that I recognize it when it happens delights the Universe. And that makes the Universe want to deliver more such experiences. That’s the upward spiral I referred to in earlier posts. The better it gets, the better it gets.

It’s easy to get people to do what you want. The key is lining up with the leverage of the Universe. I do that by being Positively Focused.

When I’m Positively Focused, the Universe does all the work. Things I want come easily. Often they come through other people. When it happens this way, the people are more than willing to do what I want because doing it is in their best interest too.

And that’s the easiest way to have other people do what you want: let the Universe make it happen for you.

How The Universe Expands

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***LET’S FINE TUNE THIS: I wrote “kind of like” a reward. Life has no “rewards”. That word implies someone is there watching and approving or disapproving what choices I make. That’s not what’s happening. No one judges what I do or don’t do. Manifestation of my ideal reality is part of the natural expansion of which I’m playing a part. A central part. I’m the chooser free to choose whatever I wish to experience.

How I Curate Life Through My Music Playlist

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My illustration

Music is powerful. It can literally shape life experience. So I’m careful about what songs I listen to these days. Here’s why.

One day last fall started as usual: in high spirits. The day itself was glorious – clear blue sky, leaves changing with the season and mild but comfortable temperatures. It was a great day to be working outside.

I was happy. Adding to my delight was my music playlist. It’s a collection of about two thousand songs gathered over many years. So it’s a nice, eclectic mix.

But then it happened. I don’t know how, at first. There I was, happy, enjoying my day. So why was I suddenly feeling sorry for myself, cranky and in a bad mood?

I’m almost always positive these days.

But in this moment I felt so negative, I even questioned whether I create my reality!

Srsly? 😕

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A beautiful fall day was the start of an extraordinary experience (my photo).

My clients have this experience too sometimes. One minute they’ll be positively focused. Then, seemingly for no reason, they’re sad.

But how could this negative emotion blindside me?

That was the wrong question.

What I should have asked was, how did I miss early stage indicators that I had diverged from my Broader Perspective?

I know I can never completely disconnect from my Broader Perspective. But it is possible to think thoughts inconsistent with what my Broader Perspective knows. When that happens I feel negative emotion. I know that’s the only reason negative emotions happen.

Negative emotion tells me I’ve parted perspectives. I’m no longer seeing life through my Broader Knowing.

When I see life the way my Broader Perspective does, I feel great.

When I feel negative emotion, I’m pretty good at catching it. When I do, I either relax and chill, or change my thoughts.

As I said, I’ve gotten really good at that. That’s why I feel ecstasy or near-ecstasy most of the time. Because of that, happy things happen in my life. I write about these in this blog.

Since I know what emotions are for, I know that if I miss an early indicator, my negative mood will worsen…until life smacks me upside the head with a physical manifestation matching that mood.

I don’t like it when things get that far.

So I usually catch bad moods early. Usually very early, like on their first indication.

So how did this negative mood get so far?

Before I go into what what happened next, some non-physical background might be helpful…

 

The Mechanics of Manifestation

I know this manifestation business is real. I know I create my reality. A ton of evidence has blown away any doubt. I also know manifestations are immediate.

Now I don’t blame people who don’t believe all this manifestation business. I wouldn’t believe it either if I didn’t know how to see the evidence.

Thankfully I know how to see the evidence. And, I understand why it seems manifestations take so long or never happen at all. One reason “it doesn’t work” or takes a long time has to do with resistance.

Unlike non-physical or Inner Reality, Physical Reality comes with a lot of resistance or friction. It’s as real as the nose on my face.

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My Illustration

Engineers design physical objects with this friction or resistance in mind. That’s why high performance cars and airplanes and boats look how they look. That’s why tires wear out. It’s why rockets look really streamlined…instead of looking like bricks.

Just as cars and airplanes and boats need an initial push to overcome resistance and another force, what physicists call “inertia”, it takes persistence and focused attention to change my immediate now, especially a now I may not want, into a preferred now.

Focused attention is just like a push. The more pure the focus, the stronger the push.

But, unlike cars and airplanes and rockets too, it doesn’t take a lot of focused energy to get reality moving in a different direction. To build momentum a reality creator only needs thoughts with no contradictory energy.

And so, as I started telling new stories about how I felt, I knew my reality started changing at once. It took several deliberate hours for a complete and permanent shift from my negative now to the positive now I wanted. But an early indication that change was on the way was how much better I felt telling the new, improved stories.

Now, you may be saying “several hours? You said it was immediate!”

It is immediate. But full-blown manifestational change must come through physical reality’s inherent resistance. Movement from initial signs to full-blown manifestation is therefore gradual.

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As this graphic illustrates, there’s more resistance in physical reality than elsewhere. That’s why there’s an APPARENT delay in manifestations. If you know how to see the evidence, “apparent delay” disappears leaving you free to witness manifestations manifesting at once. (My Illustration)

Still, compare a few hours to the years or decades a person might invest trying to shake off “negative” emotions such anxiety, depression, chronic fear or even simple pessimism.

These negative states are hard to shake because the person waited too long to turn them around. Know how to see early manifestational evidence of negative situations and any chronic negative trajectory can easily be reversed.

Any reversal must happen before too much momentum gets going. Otherwise it can take a long time. It can take an entire life time. It might never change.

A rocket sits on the launch pad. You “light the fires and kick the tires”. If you abort the launch sequence soon enough stopping the rocket is easy.

But if you wait until the rocket has launched and gained altitude and momentum….well, you’re not going to stop that rocket easily.

The same is true for any negative manifestation.

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My Illustration

I caught my “rocket” on the launch pad so that sour mood didn’t get any momentum. A few hours was nothing. And it was time well spent. Here’s why.

 

My Past Is Now And Vice Versa

As those hours ticked by, I saw more and more evidence the process was working. That awareness built on itself, creating its own momentum. And as that momentum strengthened, something happened I wasn’t expecting.

I felt/got/heard/saw a message from non-physical. It was communication from Broader Perspective. It said a song in my playlist, one that played several hours ago, triggered an old belief constellation. It said I formed that belief constellation in the past in response to an experience I had that I interpreted (way back then) as negative.

Back then, that song was popular. It played on the radio a lot. I liked that song so much I put it in my collection. I played it often. Even during that negative experience. In doing so, I forged an association in my belief constellation between the song and the experience I interpreted as negative.

So the song, playing that day on my route in the present, triggered a belief constellation I formed in that past experience. A constellation I hadn’t activated since, until I heard that song!

Beliefs in that constellation are so divergent from how my Broader Perspective interpreted that past experience it caused me to diverge from my Broader Perspective in the present. That’s why I felt bad!

When the message ended, I was puzzled. Driving my van, I remembered the song in question. It was vague in my mind, you know? Like when a word is there, but not there in your head, and you say “it’s on the tip of my tongue”. But you can’t say the actual word, even though it’s there?

That’s how the song was. Right there, but not right there. I couldn’t get the title or lyrics in my head. But I knew which song my Broader Perspective meant.

Why do you think I couldn’t put my finger on it?

It’s because my creation process worked! I shifted my “now” so completely, I couldn’t put my finger on it, because the frequency of the song and the frequency of my improved mood were too different.

Trippy, right?

And here’s the thing: That’s evidence!

My increasingly positive frequency was so different from those past stories, only their “ghosts” remained…On the tip of my brain, but inexpressible.

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Songs are stories. They’re stories a talented storyteller tells (My illustration).

Then I realized something amazing. You see, were it not for hearing that song, were it not for listening to that playlist, were it not for the negative emotion triggered by all that, I wouldn’t have done what I did in response.

And, I wouldn’t have had the awesome experience of tuning into my Broader Consciousness’ message. A message that came through all my senses. A message that surprised and delighted me, yes. But also a message confirming the existence of my Broader Perspective! 

That’s how consistent positive focus creates extraordinary experience. And evidence this manifestation business is real.

While I did not remember the song’s title or lyrics, I still felt its “ghosts”. That tells me beliefs and experiences associated with that song are still present in me. But they are losing their momentum in light of my now-focus.

Receiving direct, clear, unmistakable communication from the non-physical realm tells me everything I’m doing is real. That it’s not mumbo jumbo or New Age bullshit. And this is why personal experience is so convincing.

It’s one thing for you to read about this experience in a blog. It’s a whole other thing when it happens to you!

Here’s something else I learned: Music is powerful. Its repetitiousness builds momentum. When I repeat lyrics to myself, sing-along out loud, or listen to songs over and over, I amplify that song’s frequency in my “signal mix”.

It behooves me then to pay attention to what types of music I’m listening to, doesn’t it? And choose only music supporting positive perspectives.

· · ·

The rest of that day I played with my learning. I listened to my playlist. Every time a song came on, I felt for its frequency. How did I feel when I listened? Did it close the gap between me? Or widen it? If I felt a song triggered even the slightest negative effect, I skipped it.

Songs are stories. They’re stories a talented storyteller tells. It’s a new perspective for me, seeing songs this way. There are a lot of songs out there telling not-so-positive stories.

Curating my music helps cultivate a high frequency mix. I keep it high by weeding out songs that don’t resonate.

So what are you listening to? Is your playlist filed with songs about lost love, broken hearts, angry black men, “Fuck Da Police”, “pussy” and “bitches”? Not judging genres. I know, for example, that my frequency response to certain songs depends on my relationship to those songs. Rap, for example, can be uplifting.

It’s easy to let others’ beliefs and stories shape our mood and therefore our reality. Songs are a powerful way other people’s stories do that.

Thanks to my Broader Perspective, I now know my daily life is curated by, among other things, songs I listen to. Going forward I’m choosing my playlist more wisely.

I Don’t Need Trust When Evidence Abounds

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I need trust when there’s no evidence. But there’s evidence everywhere that I create the life I live. It’s important knowing where evidence is. That way I see it.

Evidence is all around me. The more I see, the more I see. There is overwhelming evidence. The only thing keeping me from seeing all that evidence is me.

More specific: What keeps me from seeing all the evidence are old beliefs I keep alive in my Moment of Becoming. Beliefs contrary to what I now know.

When these old beliefs, these old stories stay active, I don’t see the evidence. That’s because these old beliefs say “‘you create your reality’ is bullshit”.

They say my birth was a random chance of molecular and genetic predisposition. They say the universe is uncaring and objective, separate from me. They say I must do as others do to get what I want. They say I’m not unique. I’m not powerful. That I’m not eternal. That I am a small speck.

I know these stories are petering out in me. But their echos remain like ghosts. I know they’re still around, even though evidence supporting them is less visible. I know they’re still around because of how I feel sometimes.

I don’t feel this way as much as I feel ecstasy though.  These days ecstasy predominates.

But I know those old beliefs are still there. Because I sometimes feel a sliver of negative emotion. Standing there, in those stories, trust is needed.

Because there, I can’t see evidence telling me I create reality. Even though the evidence literally is right in my face.

Knowing where the evidence is, finding it regularly, seeing it in great big piles makes trusting unnecessary. That’s why I don’t need trust. I know.

Evidence “I create my reality” dominates. How else can it be?

• • •

Maybe, because people don’t know how to see the evidence, they create stories like “it doesn’t work” or “it’s bullshit”. Or, they call it “wishful thinking”.

Here’s the irony: It is working for these people too. Evidence is all around them.

That it’s not working is the evidence.

It looks like “it doesn’t work” because the story “it doesn’t work” creates life experience confirming that. 🤷🏽‍♂️

Stand in “It doesn’t work” then look for evidence of it working. Life will show you it’s not working. But that’s what you’re creating. So that’s what you’re seeing: it not working. And it working.

If you don’t know how to see the evidence, you’ll feel insecure, powerless and other negative emotions. You might get angry, or indignant. You’ll think you’re right. You’ll write blogs sharing your righteousness. You’ll post “Stories” on Facebook and Instagram. You’ll have facts. And, of course, you will be right.

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Life looks overwhelming, with chaotic events, pain, war, nasty politics and violence. It’s enough to keep a person in insecurity and fear. Until that person begins seeing evidence in all that. Evidence showing them they create their reality.

But you’re also not. Life experience created from any attitude (where you stand) matches that attitude. So you are right.

But you’re also not, because the life experience you’re creating is proving what you think. Thus, it is proving “it works” and “it doesn’t work” AT THE SAME TIME 😂😂😂

Negative emotions are strong. Let’s say someone stands in the attitude “it doesn’t work”. Then they look for evidence it does work as a way of trying to prove it doesn’t. In other words, they’re not really looking for evidence it does work. They’re looking for evidence confirming their attitude, which looks like the absence of evidence that it’s working.

When a person does that, they experience a range of emotions. Collectively it may feel like “disbelief” or “doubt”. Even “foolishness”. Foolishness sounds like this:

“I can’t believe I even tried to prove this shit works. I’m an idiot!”

Feeling doubt, the no-evidence-seer will draw to them all kinds of other stories/beliefs. Stories that reinforce their original story. The no-evidence-seer will then act in reinforcing ways. Including telling more stories which create more evidence of it not working. They’ll also draw to them people telling like stories. For the most part, that’s what science does when it considers this subject. 😂

For example, someone who believes science has all the answers might scoff to a friend about what happened. The friend may agree with the no-evidence-seer, themselves being one who also puts great weight in science. Such agreement reinforces the first no-evidence-seer’s beliefs.

What happens eventually is, no-evidence-seers live their lives in insecurity and powerlessness, aka “doubt”. Then they make things happen the hard way: Through effort, struggle, sacrifice.

I know. I was one of those people.

They don’t believe they create their reality. So they look to other people for guidance, advice, what success looks like, what love looks like, what happiness looks like. They don’t know they feel powerless or insecure most of the time because such feelings feel normal to them. Which is why ecstasy feels so extraordinary when it happens. Usually during sex. Or a wonderful meal. But hardly ever any other time.

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I once stood in doubt and disbelief. Standing there I couldn’t see evidence. So I did many others do in the same place: looked to others, hid my authentic self, concerned myself with what others thought about me. Not any more.

It’s ironic because ecstasy is supposed to be the dominant life experience.

Insecurity and powerlessness tell the person feeling them something. But the no-evidence-seer misses that message. So, they get lost in the spectacle of a willy-nilly created life. Random lives. Lives where dreams die. Where mediocrity predominates.

There’s nothing wrong with that. Statistically, it’s the average person’s life. And eventually everyone sees the evidence. Everyone sees it the moment they die.

That’s not my path though.

I see evidence everywhere. So I’m clear. I’m ecstatic about All That Is, about life, about my life, about me.

I need trust in the absence of evidence.

But I have plenty evidence.

So I don’t need trust.

 

Addendum: While editing this story, Apple Music played a song by Nina Simone. It’s called “Feeling Good”. The lyrics are appropriate given what I’ve shared here. I’m feeling good. You can too…

Feeling Good

Birds flying high you know how I feel
Sun in the sky you know how I feel
Breeze driftin’ on by you know how I feel
It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life for me yeah
Ouh
And I’m feeling good
Fish in the sea, you know how I feel
River running free, you know how I feel
Blossom on the tree, you know how I feel
It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life
For me
And I’m feeling good
Dragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean, don’t you know
Butterflies all havin’ fun, you know what I mean
Sleep in peace when day is done, that’s what I mean
And this old world, is a new world
And a bold world for me,
And I’m feeling good
Stars when you shine, you know how I feel
Scent of the pine, you know how I feel
Oh freedom is mine
And I know how I feel
It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life
For me
And I’m feeling good