The best way to create a better, happy life starts with learning how to do nothing. When people discover the power of doing nothing, life really starts taking off. In a short time, it not only gets better, life feels happier.
Most people instead get caught up in the “doing disease”. They think happy, better lives come from doing things that will, supposedly, make them happy. But what they find is, all that doing leads to a whole lot more doing. And rarely does the doing make the person happy.
So many think all we need “to do” is do more of what others are doing and we’ll find happiness. So that’s what we do. We work hard, sacrifice, put off joy now for joy later…
I know that path personally. I worked almost 30 years before I realized the secret to happiness was doing less.
Doing is drudgery
Before that realization, doing had me doing what everyone else did. It worked. Sometimes. Looking back, though, all that hard-earned money, lofty positions that looked good on paper but took their toll on my personal life satisfaction, wasn’t worth the happiness I enjoy now, doing a lot of nothing besides attending to my spiritual happiness.
I suggest it lies in the heart and mind, not in an external situation. Which means, of course, the difference between those fulfilled at work, doing, and those hating what they’re doing lies in what they’re thinking about what they’re doing.
The best way to change how one thinks first comes with understanding how one currently thinks. That’s where becoming Positively Focused starts.
Until a person figures out their thinking patterns and habits, it’s too easy to stay trapped in the doing the disease, trying to create a different result by doing the same things.
I’m glad I found the way out of all that. The way out being doing nothing. It seems crazy, but it’s true. Here’s why.
You match what you’re getting
First, the reason so many seek happiness through doing, yet fail to find it, is because they’re trying to get something they don’t believe they can have. Or they’re looking for it in the wrong place. I talk about this with every client. A person can’t find something they think they can’t find. That’s the case for keys, lost gloves and, frankly, a happy life.
If someone thinks life isn’t fun and easy, they can’t experience the fun and ease of life. No matter how hard they try creating that, it will evade them. A person just can’t create outside of their existing beliefs. And what a person believes often lies hidden in thoughts they’re thinking so often, they can’t consciously perceive the thoughts when they think them.
Insecurities proceed us all
The fact is, if a person thinks life is a struggle, people are out to get them (or don’t care about them), or that their life has no meaning or other similar thoughts, the insecurity or anxiety such thoughts trigger tells the thinker what they’re thinking about life, people or the meaning of life is inconsistent with how life actually is.
What’s more, those thoughts will create life experiences consistent with them. Life will occur as a constant struggle, people will be predatory and life will feel meaningless. And once such thoughts create life experience consistent with them, momentum behind those thoughts is so great, those thoughts continue creating life experience on their own. Until the thinker generates momentum in a different direction.
This is why life seems “the way it is”, like some objective reality. Instead of the subjective reality life really is. Life is a subjective reality under direct control of the person experiencing the reality.
Instead of taking control though, people become victims of that auto-created life. Which means becoming victims of their uncontrolled thinking processes. They try harder. They do more, push, struggle more, thinking if they do all that, they’ll finally get what they want.
It doesn’t work that way. Life gives what you think about. Not what you want.
Doing it different?
Doing nothing begins an important process. That process reverses momentum created when a person keeps doing the same thing over and over, while expecting different results. When someone calms themselves, relaxes and focuses inward, powerful processes get underway even though it seems like nothing happens.
And the more that person relaxes into doing nothing, the more effective they get. That’s because every person receives guidance through their intuition, their Inner Being or Broader Perspective. Doing nothing tunes one into all that timeless wisdom.
What really happens is, by doing nothing, the person calms down noise in their head. That way they start hearing clear signals their intuition sends all day, every day.
In time, the person realizes some profound insights. Like this client:
Uncovering such insights takes a while. And this is the challenge. So many people in our lives tell us doing nothing is lazy and time wasting. But it’s not that. It’s a profound state of being which tunes one back into their deeper knowing.
But if you listen to society, parents, educators and all those loud mouths in the peanut gallery, you’ll hear “stop being lazy”, “work harder”, “success is in the struggle”.
It works but it’s tough
Such approaches work. But do you really want to struggle through life? I don’t. I’d rather enjoy life while seeing my life bringing me everything I want with little effort.
People who struggle claim it’s worth the struggle. They look at and display scars they “earned” on the way to their success. I say give that approach up, especially when it comes to finding happiness.
Instead, figure out how to instantly become a match to the happiness so often sought but not found. When it shows up, you will be a match to it because the instant you create it, you ARE a match to it. You’re happy. Stay in that and a happy life becomes yours.
A better way exists. It starts with doing nothing, which really is doing a lot. Learning to do nothing transforms life. My clients know this. It’s time for you to know it too.
The best way to get everything one wants in life is to pursue what’s wanted because pursuing it is joyful. This is especially true when wanting something most people think is impossible. Such as “manifesting” more money, a relationship or a better job.
That’s because most people will tell you their opinion on how to get those things. And rarely will they offer the “manifesting” path. They’ll tell you “the odds” of you “manifesting” that thing. The’ll tell you getting something that way is “wishful thinking”.
They’ll tell you to be “realistic”. Being realistic means “trying hard”. It means doing what others do. It involves focusing with the end in mind and “faking it till you make it.”
All of those ways can work. But look around at people doing it that way. It’s hard work. People hate the process. And hardly anyone gets what they’re after, because the path is so filled with struggle many or most give up on what they want. Or worse, they compromise. They settle for something “ok” instead of holding out for their dream.
Compromising is what happens when someone goes after something thinking the result is what they’re after. If, however, a person goes after something, knowing the journey to that thing is what matters most, the entire process and experience of the process changes. It’s no longer a struggle, it’s a joy. The process of doing becomes the purpose of the doing, not the means to the ends. And in that mind space, what one wants happens fast.
Your action isn’t the main attraction
Why does this happen? Because when the mind isn’t focused on the end goal, the mind becomes open to millions of avenues leading to the goal instead of the one way one thinks it must happen.
Think about it. When focused on a particular goal, say, finding a lover, usually people think of one particular way to get that lover. The main way they think it must happen has to do mainly with their taking action to “make something happen”.
But the majority of people who get what they want, especially really big things they want, hardly ever get those things through their hard work. And usually, if they’re honest when asked, those people attribute “success” to “luck” or “god” or some other force greater than themselves that made it all possible. There’s truth to their attribution. Your action is not the main attraction.
Often, these people reach a point in their “doing” where they realize they’ve done all they can. With nothing more they can do, they give up. They surrender to “come what may”. Typically, once they give up, once they surrender, that thing they want shows up. It’s not the surrender that makes that happen. It’s what happens when they surrender.
Surrender to the journey
When one surrenders, they give up actions, but also thoughts standing between them and the easy flow of what is wanted. In other words, the person no longer stands in the way of what they want. Instead, in giving up, they become a cooperative element in the unfolding.
Another way of “surrendering” is giving up focusing on the end goal and instead enjoying the process, doing what one’s doing for no other reason than the joyful doing of the doing. A client and I talked about exactly this recently. Take a listen:
I have several really big things I’m “manifesting”. They include things 99 percent of humans will say can’t be done. But I know those things on my list are as easy for me as an eternal being, with the power of the Universe behind me, to accomplish as it is to walk from one room to another. However, I must relax into the process of their unfolding, because I too have residual belief in their impossibility.
It’s not the “impossibility” of the things I want keeping them from happening. It’s the belief in the impossibility slowing things down. So for someone like me, who wants really big things showing up, I must focus relentlessly on the journey as the goal rather than the goal itself. That’s why I see, nearly every day, evidence of their unfolding.
Everyone can enjoy fulfilled wishes
Compared to what’s on my list, finding a partner or a job or whatever is easy as pie. All that’s required is giving up thoughts contrary to what one wants. Thoughts contrary to what one wants aren’t the only ones that must go though. Thoughts seemingly having nothing to do with the goal also must go. This is why it seems to take forever for people to “manifest” something.
They aren’t willing to surrender. Meaning, they aren’t willing to give up what they must to have what they want.
Anyone can have what they want no matter what it is because the Universe is a wish-granting jewel ready to deliver ANYTHING someone can formulate desire for.
All that’s required is focusing on the reason why one wants what they want rather than focusing on the thing wanted. Doing that will naturally put one in alignment with the wanted thing, so long as the reasons feel good.
If a person can remain in those good feelings, instead of thinking about how lonely they are, or how impossible the goal seems, they’ll get what they want. It’s that easy.
Feeling good is like finding
It’s easy because when a person focuses on why they want and feel good in that, the desire itself becomes more important than the fulfillment. They don’t need the thing they want, because they already feel good without it. So the desire’s fulfillment becomes irrelevant. When a person gets there, then having what they want is icing on the cake because they already feel as they will feel when what they want comes. Feeling good about what you want is as good as having it. And when you’re there, what you want must show up.
It’s not hard shifting that focus. It can happen in as little as five minutes. You know you’ve done that when you feel good right now, even without having what you want. And again, when you feel good, you’re closer to having what you want than you think.
If you want to know more about how this all works, set up a free 1:1 and let’s talk. Let’s discover how easy it is to have anything you want. It’s not as impossible as you think. All you need is more happy. Then everything in life will come on its own accord.
A transgender client from our sister site The Transamorous Network recently came to her session feeling ecstatic. I immediately became so too. That’s because I knew, even before she described what happened, what happened. She scored her dream career.
How? Solely by thinking positive thoughts. I’m sharing this successful manifestation from my sister site (I do this often) because it offers proof that “manifesting” works, every time.
I know many will say this was a series of coincidences. But me and this client know what happened directly resulted from her learning to see the world Positively Focused. As a result, she easily came into her dream job with absolutely no effort on her part. Instead she had fun, fun, fun.
“I told my mom,” she said. “Getting work this way is 1,000 times more satisfying than going through the grind everyone else is doing.”
Indeed. All during this time, her mom forwarded my client job openings from Indeed.com, hoping her daughter would apply. But my client wanted to prove to herself a positive focus works better. I’m glad she wanted to test it, because the results were stunning. As they always are.
Here’s what happened.
Becoming a match to what’s wanted
Clare (not her real name) is on her 123rd session. It took her a while to start believing, but evidence she produced along the way roused dramatic behavioral changes. For one, she gave up online dating. She finally agreed it created more negative experiences than positive ones and those negative experiences too easily translated into negative beliefs about men. Negative beliefs about herself too. Those beliefs exacerbated her negative online experiences. That got her realizing trying to find a partner through online dating wasn’t worth it.
Then she gave up trying to “find” a guy altogether. Instead, she decided to focus on herself. She decided rather than meeting men who matched who she’s being now, she would become the “best version of herself” and, doing that, meet men who are a match to that.
It’s a standard result of the approach advocated at The Transamorous Network and here too at Positively Focused. Every experience comes as a manifestation of what the experiencer emanates. That emanation happens through thoughts and beliefs people hold about experiences had in the past, or experiences they want to have. The best way to meet the perfect partner involves first becoming a match to that. One does that by thinking positive thoughts and cultivating positive belief about a host of subjects. Those gradually change emanations one’s putting out about those subjects.
In time, one becomes a match to what they want, rather than being a match to what they don’t want. This process happens effortlessly. With enough practice, the process then happens automatically. Delight, surprise, life enjoyment and an ever-increasing desire for more of that mark “success” with the process. Oh, one also gets everything they want too!
The sucky job hunt
As Clare focused on herself, a lot of resistance she held for many subjects started giving way. In the wake of all that, she discovered more peace and satisfaction with the way her life currently was. For many years, for example, Clare harbored impatience, frustration and annoyance about living with her parents on a farm in rural America.
But through the practice, she learned how to appreciate this situation. Indeed, living with her parents offered exactly what she wanted. The biggest thing was time. Her parents love her, provide for her. Even though they want her to get on with living – get a job, find a place to live on her own and make a life for herself – they also aren’t pressuring her to do those things.
I encouraged Clare see value in all that support. But Clare focused too much on what she thought her parents thought about her living there. As a result, Clare felt pressure, anxiety and impatience. Those emotions motivated her to look for a job.
But looking for a job sucks! It’s tedious, there’s a lot of rejection, and, depending on one’s self-image, it can be demoralizing. Especially when one sees how many jobs one doesn’t qualify for. In many ways, job hunting closely resembles online dating! 😂
Clare wavered between frustration and annoyance, then disappointment and anger as she sent out resume after resume to crickets and rejection.
All the while I encouraged her to give up job hunting and learn to create the job she wants. How? By telling positive stories about what she wants, instead of trying to find a “job”.
Would you jump off a cliff?
I know everyone, or at least most people, look for jobs exactly the way Clare was. And, many of those people find work that way. But it sucks doing it that way! Yes, people find satisfaction working for good companies and for good people. Good pay too. The opposite also holds up. In other words, just because everyone does something a certain way, doesn’t make it the way. Or the only way. Or the best way.
Besides, spiritual beings don’t come into a body to copy experiences everyone else experiences. Each comes to live their special, unique paradigm-busting life experience. One that would transform the world while offering immense personal satisfaction.
I explained all this to Clare, many, many times before she actually believed it enough to apply this approach to attracting work. By this time Starbucks hired her as a barista, which was great because their insurance plan paid for surgeries she wanted. She liked the job, at first. She enjoyed who she worked with and customers she served. Beyond that, insurance and a paycheck though, it offered little satisfaction.
It took about six months before Clare was over Starbucks. She wanted work in her field. Something creative. Something more consistent with her aspirations.
Week after week, dissatisfaction increased. Finally, she decided to try the Positively Focused approach.
Getting stories straight
It took her a while to find pleasing beliefs. Subjects she had beliefs about that impacted “getting a job” were many and varied. They included beliefs about work, obviously, but also about many other things.
About work, Clare needed to sooth old beliefs about her not being good enough to have her dream job. She believed such jobs were scarce. You need to know someone in order to get such a job, she thought. She also thought a person needed to live in an urban center, where creatives lived. None of these are true. They aren’t false either. But such stories create a reality that excludes getting the job Clare wanted.
Other beliefs she needed to address were about living at home, about her parents and what they thought, about why she wanted work, about the timeframe in which she “should” start working and more. As I said above, beliefs about lots of subjects affect success in any outcome. Beliefs about what’s wanted, for example, contribute only partially to what one gets or doesn’t get. Often, beliefs hindering one’s ability to get what they want have more to do with beliefs the person has about themselves. Those hinder the vast majority of people.
So Clare had her work set out for her. The main thing I encouraged Clare do was enjoy her now. Have fun, I told her. Find things she liked doing and forget about finding a job. Enjoy the fact that her parents lovingly support her. Enjoy the fact that she doesn’t really need a job.
That’s what Clare started doing.
Getting bored doing nothing
In essence, I told Clare “stop doing and be more”. That’s a problem for many, many people because most of us think and believe things happen as a result of “doing”.
That’s never the case though, even though it looks that way. But the way things look is an illusion. Things happen as a result of what a person thinks and believes and expects. Action is what happens at the last moment. Action, or doing, puts a person at coordinates in space and time where the desired manifestation happens.
But again, this is really, really difficult for people to get. Especially parents. They think doing nothing is doing nothing. It’s lazy, mooching, being irresponsible.
None of that is true. Doing nothing is doing something. When a person does nothing, they’re soothing negative story momentum. Stories that keep them in “doing mode”, the doing of which keeps them thinking their doing creates results.
Clare had a really hard time with this at first. She quickly got bored. Video games no longer held her interest. Movies got old. She got impatient, frustrated. We talked about these feelings and beliefs they sprang from and, in time, created new ones for Clare about those things. Those new ones allowed Clare greater ease and satisfaction with things she once liked doing.
It took awhile, but Clare found more satisfaction and pleasure in pastimes once she let go of judgement about those things, judgement, representing beliefs she inherited from her parents and society in general. Especially conservative society which harshly condemns idle hands.
Then things get interesting
One day after weeks enjoying her life, Clare came to her session feeling inspired. She had cruised Instagram this week, something she really enjoys, and her feed served up an invitation to a panel presentation on something like “How to manage production sets in a time of COVID”.
Now’s a good time to include that Clare’s field of choice, where her creative passions point her, involves working on creative production sets. Photo shoots and movie sets are where Clare feels most inspired and engaged. So when this invitation showed up, she knew it was the result of the practice.
“I knew this wasn’t coincidence,” She told me in session. “So I wanted to share it with you. I’m really excited this happened.”
I was too. It was exactly the manifestation Clare wanted. Furthermore, I knew, I just knew, this was the beginning of a series of manifestations leading to Clare getting everything she wants.
We talked about the best way to attend the event. I encouraged her, if she was so inspired, to write down every panel participant’s name and what they say. Then later, followup with each of them with an inspiring message over Instagram. I suggested she highlight something each person said that resonated with her. That resonance, I told her, offered a clue that would unfold in a delightful way.
So notice this: Clare relaxed into her life. She learned to enjoy more and more her day-to-day. She learned to stop telling negative stories about everything about her life. Then, the universe served up the perfect invitation: the opportunity to participate in this discussion.
It was perfect. But more stood ready.
The next session, Clare was super excited. She reached out to all the panelists. Nearly all of them replied. Three of them invited her to an in person conversation. Long story short, one of these conversations happened on a photo set in a small company owned and run by a lesbian couple.
Clare’s manifestation was unfolding…
Clare said she could tell she impressed them. She was high flying in relating how the conversation went. She added the other conversations thrilled her too, but this one was the most thrilling.
“Go with that feeling,” I told her. And she did.
She continued corresponding with those panel members who responded to her most actively. Then, one day, seemingly out of the blue, Clare got a voice message from someone she didn’t know.
The voice message told her a corporate gig was coming up and, if she was available, the voice said, they’d love to have her join the team running the shoot.
Clare just got an employment offer!
That same day, she put the details together with the caller. By the time we had our session that afternoon, the opportunity was hers. It came together literally an hour before our session began.
Needless to say, Clare was over the moon. She told me her mother and father both expressed pride in her getting her first paid gig, in her field of choice, with lots of opportunities to leverage this experience into future gigs.
But Clare and I both know the only leverage she needs is the leverage inherent in her power as a deliberate creator, exercised through her powerful story telling.
“I told my mom,” she said. “Getting work this way is 1,000 times more satisfying than going through Indeed.com.”
Indeed. When a person creates opportunity, it’s always more satisfying than going hunting for one. It’s much more fun seeing what one wants come to you rather than you having to go out and find it.
Whether it’s work, income, a lover, better health or happiness, nothing lies out of the realm of the possible. Unless one’s beliefs say something is impossible, nothing is.
If you’re someone lonely and longing for love, or you want better work, more money or something else you think will make you happy, there’s no better Source for any of that than the beliefs you tell yourself.
YOU are the genie in the bottle standing ready to fulfill your every wish! If you’re ready to tell better stories about your life so that your life improves, and would like some help with that, I’m here.
A delightful post script:
I finished writing this post and the next week, had a session with Clare. She came to the session overflowing with excitement. That’s because after doing the gig described above, “out of the blue” three other people called her. They all offered additional gigs, at rates 21 percent higher than the first one! One of the newer gigs is a 4-5 day shoot, meaning Clare will receive over $1400 for 4 days work!
“This sure beats my Starbucks job!” She said. “I used to make maybe $50 a day there.”
Indeed. Once a person gets in the grove telling positive stories, the flood gates open, revealing that the Universe, for sure, is pouring down everything one wants. Clare’s experience is a perfect example of that!
When clients first start their Positively Focused journey, they come with many questions. As their questions get answered and they continue with their practice, results they get lead them to want to practice more.
Before they know it, they discover their Charmed Life – the life Universe wants for everyone. Everyone knew the Charmed Life awaited them before coming into physical reality. That’s why everyone comes into a body.
Why do so few live that life?
Because nearly everyone’s attitude gets corrupted by those around them. Conclusions people make about life also contribute, creating pessimistic, cynical beliefs about life. Such attitudes and beliefs contradict and block the Charmed Life. Even though it’s available to everyone, most stand apart from it because of how they think.
At Positively Focused we fix that.
Evidence becomes obvious
As results pile up and resistance fades, life gets better and better. Before long, clients want more results, which inspires them to more consistent practice.
In the following video, Chris describes his own journey. His illustrates what every client gets through the Positively Focused approach. Even things some believe are impossible, or at least inadvisable, become possible. Even getting off “mood stabilizing” medications. Take a listen:
Chris’ example shows why I love practicing with clients. When they produce these kinds of results, they amplify my own knowing. I enjoy seeing their results as confirmation of my own.
The Charmed Life awaits anyone who trades common, pessimistic and cynical human attitudes about life for a positively focused attitude. That’s because the Positively Focused attitude reflects what All That Is knows about life on Earth. Everything happening happens on purpose, and that purpose creates more of All That Is, which is unconditionally loving.