It’s fun putting God to the test and watching God exceed my test expectations. That’s what happened this morning on my walk.
I know I am God in a human body. Don’t freak out reading that. Everyone is God in human bodies.
Sometimes it’s nice testing my godhood. It’s fun, and it assures me my desires are flowing easily into my life experience. Evidence abounds in that regard, but, every so often creating an event immediately tells me, yup! I’m doing it, I’m creating my reality.
The challenge with creating reality and the reason so many try this “manifestation business” and fail, is because specificity and focus are important. People who fail at creation don’t realize their “failure” actually is success. Here’s why.
If I want something really bad, that’s great, so long as I’m focused on what it is I want. It’s easy, though, in my focus on what I want, to instead focus on the opposite of what I want, which is the absence of what I want, or what I already have.
For example, say I want a new relationship and I’m in a relationship I don’t like. If I focus on all the things I don’t like about the relationship I have, and focusing there, I ask for a new relationship, I’m not going to manifest a new relationship. Instead, I’m going to manifest more of what I have: the relationship I’ve got.
I know I must turn my focus to what I want, not what I’ve got. I know I’ve done that by using my emotions as my guide. I know I’m getting what I want when I feel great in the now, the Moment of Becoming.
The Universe will deliver the essence of everything I ask for. Testing this assertion helps calibrate my focus so I know when I’m focusing on what I want instead of what I don’t. It’s a fun way of refining that important skill.
So that’s what I did this morning. I like testing God (that’s me) by using subjects I don’t have lots of desire about. It’s easier focusing when there isn’t a lot of momentum behind the desire itself. Here’s what I did:
I said I wanted to see a rabbit on my walk somewhere. I live in an urban neighborhood in Portland, Oregon. Houses and apartments and paved streets and alleys define my neighborhood. There aren’t a lot of wooded areas, so seeing a wild rabbit would be amazing. But I knew I can manifest anything I want if my desire is strong enough and, most importantly, my resistance to the desire is weak or non existent.
I focused on how it would feel seeing a rabbit. I held that image for a little over a minute, to get the creative momentum moving. In my imagination I saw the rabbit’s brown fur, its black eyes….I thought about petting the rabbit and how soft it would feel so long as it didn’t bite me 😂. That made me feel happy, a crucial indicator.
I’m clear All That Is delivers the essence of what ask. I know that often means delights beyond my specific ask. So it’s better asking generally rather than specifically because what comes can be missed if I’m too specific about what I want. So while I asked for a rabbit, what I focused on was the fur, the eyes and how it would feel to see something like that in my city.
Then I dropped it. I paid no attention to my request. I enjoyed my walk, the city, the morning air, the flowers and other people out walking.
It was a nearly four mile walk. Returning to the house where I live, I turned a corner one block from home and…not 20 feet in front of me….was a coyote. It looked at me with black eyes…and it had brown fur.
A Coyote a few steps right in front of me! In the middle of town!
Before I could snap a picture with my phone, it ran off around the corner, but as I got to the end of the block, it came running back around the corner. That’s when I got a video of her!
God passed! What a demonstration!
I know I am God in a physical body. I know I create reality through my interaction with it. My thoughts and emotions tell me what creations I’m creating. I share my experiences through this blog because the sharing is fun, but also to encourage others into their full creative potential so they can have as much fun as I’m having.
It really is fun creating reality. I love putting God to the test and then seeing how I exceed my own expectations.
Last month, in cahoots with Inner Being, I realized over $10,000 in project funding. Rendezvousing with that money came surprisingly and delightfully, which is how “right timing” always feels.
Between jobs last month and with COVID-19 shutting down job opportunities, I slowed down looking for work. In that space, I realized what I wanted more than a job paying the bills, was my projects paying the bills.
But existing stories about my projects paying my bills created ongoing nows consistent with them. That’s why I needed work. I didn’t believe my projects could pay my bills. So that’s the reality I got.
• • •
Earlier this month, I decided I would allow those stories a path out of my awareness. Doing that, I knew they would no longer influence my Moment of Becoming.
Do that long enough, I knew, and stories consistent with my desires would show their momentum. My awareness would expand towards that and, in time, I would experience reality consistent with new stories, instead of what is.
That’s what I started two weeks ago. On Day one, determination reigned. By Day 12, old stories re-asserted themselves. All stories or beliefs or thoughts enjoy leaning toward their fullest expression. Once in the head, getting them out takes work, unless I know what to do, which I do, so it’s not work. It’s easy.
My old stories reveled in my then what was. The more I looked for work, the stronger their momentum. Their revelry felt like pressure, fear and anxiety in me. Leading up to Day 12 I entertained thoughts like these:
I gotta get a job. My savings are running out.
I should take whatever I can get.
If I don’t take this job, there may not be others.
I’m in competition with others for jobs I want.
But then I reminded myself that I create my reality. Thoughts don’t create my reality. I do, by thinking thoughts. That means I can choose thoughts I think. Choose thoughts that feel good and I know by my good feelings, realities consistent with what my Inner Being has in store for me will become my reality.
That’s what I did. I chose thoughts that feel good. “Thoughts that feel good” sounded like this:
I don’t need to take any of these jobs I feel “blah” about
There are plenty of jobs available for me…
I’m not competing for the job that’s for me. It’s only for me.
My Inner Being knows the best job for me.
I’ll wait for that best job.
But then, something happened. I began thinking totally different thoughts, thoughts that felt even better!
I don’t want a job!
I enjoy working on my projects.
Why can’t my projects pay my bills?
I want that reality!
Working on my projects full time feels fun!
That was around Day six. Between Day six and Day 12, old belief constellations reasserted themselves several times each day. They (those beliefs) popped into my head under their own momentum.
Thankfully, I trained myself into monitoring my feelings. Any time I felt bad, I knew old stories popped up, even if I didn’t know what thoughts I thought at that time. Negative emotion usually came when my attention slipped into the future. That’s a no-no because when thinking about a future I want I easily slip into thinking about the “how” and the “when”. How will my projects sustain me? When will that happen? Will it happen before I run out of money?
Those thoughts always conjured negative emotion.
Sometimes I knew what thoughts I thought. Other times, I didn’t. Either way, anytime I felt negative emotion, I pulled my attention back into the now, then focused on the positive beliefs.
When I couldn’t shift my thinking because momentum had too much strength, I took a nap, or did something I enjoy: watch a favorite movie or take a walk.
By Day 14, I had done a lot of all that. I felt good.
On Day 14, I had wonderful dreams and epiphanies I journaled about. Then, one of my Positively Focused clients sent a message on WhatsApp. He’s not only a client, he’s keen about Copiosis, one of my projects. He’s given money to that organization before.
It just so happened, I launched a social media advertising strategy earlier in the week for that project. So I had plenty to show him. The progress excited him. So much so, he said he would give me more money to run that organization. Then he said to use the rest of his gift to fund my living expenses so I could work full time on my projects.
How much was “the rest”? Nine thousand, eight hundred and eighty dollars! I walked right into my desired reality. I withdrew most of that, but kept some in Bitcoin.
• • •
Here’s the thing about all this. That money is great. Now I don’t need a job. It will fund my living expenses for most of the rest of the year. More money is coming, I’m sure.
But what’s more thrilling is what I experienced on the way to this money. The deliberate focus. The lining up with my Inner Being. Clarity coming from that. Positive, wonderful, ecstatic feelings that come from that clarity. Every moment I stayed in the present moment, the Moment of Becoming, I enjoyed throughly. In other words, most of that time I was happy. I’m happy still.
Those times I didn’t I stay in the Moment of Becoming, I see as beneficial too. Without them, I couldn’t tell that I wasn’t in the Moment of Becoming. So even those times benefitted me. 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾
Getting the $10K is great. But desire fulfillment lasts hardly as long as the anticipation, the joyful expectations, the pleasure that is knowing it’s on its way, and seeing the signs as I move toward that fulfilled desire. Since I’m eternal, new desires will always spring up. So I’ll always be on the way to one desire or another.
That means, life gets mostly lived on a journey towards someplace. Every time I arrive, arrival births new desire. Which is why I know this: Life is about the journey. Not the manifestation.
The end of my marriage started with my wife wanting an open relationship. It was the best thing that happened in our marriage.
Through her desire for an open relationship, I found the best relationship ever.
Many people going through what I went through feel scared, or insecure or betrayed. I felt eagerness. What did I know that others don’t? Something extraordinary was happening.
Feeling fear, insecurity or betrayal, you miss the extraordinary.
I started Positively Focused so people could get what I got: When your partner wants an open relationship and you don’t, or vice versa, an extraordinary thing is happening.
Open relationships: either partner may want one
Many years ago, it was me who wanted an open relationship. My wife (now ex-wife) and I were in counseling, doing what many couples do: trying to fix things not needing fixing.
I married her because she needed to be married. I loved her, but that’s not why I married her. I didn’t want to be married.
She did not like not being married. I’m always the bridesmaid but never the bride, she’d say. Her mother convinced her she’d never get married. Her mother claimed her daughter had unlovable qualities. That’s accurate. But ironically, those qualities came from her mother.
I know now everyone chooses their parents. My then wife chose her’s and the path we walked together. She didn’t know this during our early years together. Neither did I.
Back then I thought “maybe I could help her get over this upbringing by doing the one thing that would show her mother she was wrong.” So I gave her what she wanted. A ring and a marriage.
It didn’t help. That complaint went away. But other things happening in my wife, and in me, made our relationship….let’s call it…typical.
For one, when we met, I was looking for a transgender partner. She was looking for a woman. I am out and proud about my trans-attraction, having created a website, The Transamorous Network. My online dating profile clearly expressed my preference.
She said she knew we were a match regardless.
That’s true. We weren’t a marriage match. We were a match for other reasons. Reasons driving us both towards our authentic selves.
I see that now. You are on the same path.
• • •
Don’t think this is unusual. Many things bring couples to the alter. My father, for example, once married a foreigner so she could stay in the US. I know a guy who married a transgender woman for the same reasons. They don’t live together. Never have.
A Transamorous Network client of mine, who is himself trans-attracted, knew he was trans-attracted well before marrying his cisgender wife. He married her anyway. He feared telling her the truth because he didn’t want to lose her. It’s not likely their counseling will fare any better than me and my ex-wife’s.
Many people marry while not wanting monogamy. But like my trans-attracted client, many people hide who they are out of insecurity or inauthenticity. Some people not wanting monogamy get married anyway. Marriage will test inauthenticity. My client couldn’t handle being inauthentic. So he (seemingly unwittingly) sabotaged his marriage. He hooked up with a trans sex worker who outed him on Facebook.
Your life experience trumps your marriage. It (your life experience) demands your authentic self. It finds ways around your inauthenticity so your authenticity can shine.
That’s the purpose of all human relationships: they point us to our authentic selves. They aren’t meant to give us love, belonging companionship and security, although some do temporarily. Relationships are processes. They’re verbs. Not nouns.
Most believe relationships endure. “Death do us part” go the vows.
But relationships are “until growth do us part”. You may ask, growth towards what? Towards greater authenticity.
Some people understand this: relationships reflect who we as individuals are. They do that so we live authentically. Relationships represent physical examples of our inner ideals, concepts and beliefs about ourselves. Those ideals, concepts and beliefs get presented to us through our relationship dynamic, warts and all.
People get bored in their relationships because their relationships have become, as someone I respect says, “like gum you’ve chewed all the flavor out of.” When someone decides it’s time for a new piece of gum, relationship-wise, it means they’re growing into more of who they are.
Open relationships do what one-on-one relationships do, times 1,000.
One way or another it’s going to happen
While in counseling, I wanted my wife and I to explore open relationships together. But I knew back then she wasn’t ready. She was far too insecure to give that a try. Later, when she decided she was going to have an open relationship, it was no question whether we’d do it together. She was going to do it. Without me.
I think she justified her decision by first telling me I could sleep with whoever I wanted. I described how that happened here. It was effortless how it happened from my perspective.
But, by the time it happened, I was so far into the spiritual life evidenced by this blog, I wasn’t interested.
Instead, the growth that had my wife demand and act on her open relationship desires, flung me further into my relationship with my Inner Being. I haven’t looked back. And I regret none of the journey.
The best relationship I could ever want
My Inner Being relationship brings more satisfaction, joy, peace, security and a sense of invulnerability no other relationship can match. What’s more, my Inner Being relationship allows a reality, a life experience, in which everything I want comes so easily, it’s ridiculous. I write about these experiences in this blog.
This Inner Being relationship enriches me spiritually too. New dimensions I discover about me and life astonish me daily. I can’t imagine a human-human relationship matching that.
What’s really interesting though is how much love I feel. I feel a total, unconditional love moving through me…for me…from me…from my Inner Being.
I get it now. Through my experience with my wife’s desire for an open relationship, I now have the best relationship I could ever want. It’s not with another person. It’s with me. The inevitability is clear. I got the best life through my wife having sex with other men.
These days, for me, people relationships pale in comparison to the relationship I have with me.
Think about it: what human being can and will give me literally whatever I want? No one!
What relationship with another human can give me the unconditional love I feel from my Inner Being? A wife is not going to do that. A husband won’t. It’s not another person’s job to orchestrate the Universe in ways that bring me what I want. Or to give me unconditional love.
Love I might get from people can’t match what I get from my Inner Being. My Inner Being relationship makes being in relationship with another person…well, not as high-falutin’ as society makes it.
I know that’s because generally, people don’t understand love, let alone why we have emotions in the first place. They don’t understand unconditional love. Another person will never love you unconditionally.
Why? It’s not their job.
A lot of relationships are based on that premise though. That’s what relationship failure looks like before a relationship fails – people looking for (unconditional) love in the wrong place: other people.
You get that from yourself. Not others. Getting lasting, inexhaustible love from yourself not only is easy, with results that are immediate, it’s also fun. You’d think it magical, if it weren’t so eminently logical. It starts with being Positively Focused.
Many people going through what I went through feel scared, insecure, betrayed or some other negative emotion. They don’t know something extraordinary can come from what’s happening. So they get pain and frustration instead of joy and freedom.
Which is why I started Positively Focused.
When your partner wants an open relationship and you don’t, or when you want one and they don’t, you’ve come to a crossroads. What happens next can be extraordinary.
After writing this I received a question: “But what if I want to keep my marriage?”
The answer is, “That depends on how you think about marriage”. You can keep your marriage. But not if you think that means it stays how it was, with the person you’re with.
Marriage brings comfort, security, peace, relief from being alone, perhaps, companionship, and sexual satisfaction (for a while). But a person doesn’t need “marriage” or a relationship to have these things. In fact, relying on another (through a relationship) to get these things is a sure recipe to sooner or later, lose them.
The best place to get these things is from yourself. When you do, people relationships that come through that connection are far stronger and more satisfying.
Remember, your marriage or any relationship reflects back to you stories you’re telling that create the marriage. Fixing your marriage doesn’t work if you’re oblivious to stories you’re telling that create the marriage you have.
If you leave your current relationship or marriage for another, while not doing anything about the stories, you’re just going to get more of what you had. Only with a different person. Or a number of different persons. Open relationships don’t solve anything. Nothing needs solving.
Stories create reality. Change reality by changing stories you tell about reality. Including the reality that is your marriage.
It’s easy to get people to do what I want. Being Positively Focused is the key.
These two stories show what I mean.
I have a friend I’ll call Jeff. Lately he’s been involved with a guy he’s head-over-heels for. So he spends nearly all his free time with that guy.
One day I sent Jeff a text inviting him over. He texted back saying he was pretty busy and offered the following week. That never happened.
Two weeks later I was riding my bike to get groceries. On my way I thought about Jeff. Then, I thought how great it would be to see a super hero movie. It had been a while since I saw one.
A day after buying my groceries, I realized I “accidentally” left at the register a bag of mixed nuts I bought. I called the store. They said the checker remembered me and invited me to come get a replacement. I told them I’d head that way, weather depending.
I was enjoying creating art for my projects that morning. I really didn’t want to go. But then I got a strong impulse to go. I try to immediately respond to strong impulses.
So I checked the weather. No rain until afternoon. I jumped on my bike and headed over.
On my way, I rode past Jeff’s home. His door upstairs was open, which I thought was strange because his car wasn’t there.
Then, guess who comes around the corner in his car. It’s Jeff! We greet and hug. He tells me he just broke up with his boyfriend. I told Jeff that was perfect because now he can hang out with me.
He laughed and said, “and yeah, maybe we can go see a movie too. I hear that new Joker is really great. We should go this Sunday!”
See the connection? Just the other day I thought how cool it would be to see another comic book movie and here Jeff is suggesting we go to one. And, since “accidentally” forgot some nuts, I was able to connect with him in perfect timing, in person! How cool is that?
· · ·
I’m learning to interpret impulses I get as open doors. I don’t have to walk through. When I do, though, life delivers all kinds of surprises.
The week comes to an end. I haven’t been thinking about Jeff, or the movie he suggested we go see. But on Friday I heard a movie review. The movie stars Brad Pitt. It’s called Ad Astra. It sounded good.
I thought about Jeff and our Sunday plans. Then I thought, “I’d rather see Ad Astra than Joker.”
Sunday morning comes. I wake to wonderful dreams, enjoy a deep meditation and do a dream analysis. Then I prepare for my day using my Positively Focused framework.
I need next week’s groceries, so I check the weather. There’s a 90-minute rain-free window that comes…and goes.
I miss it.
So I put on my rain gear, take out my bike and head to get next week’s groceries.
Now, I know I’m in in tune with the Universe because of what happens in my moment-by-moment life experience. When I’m in tune, the weather cooperates. People are friendly and generous.
Just before I head out, the rain stops. When I get to the store, I meet all kinds of friendly people. I have great conversations with other customers. Store employees are helpful and conversant. Pleasant too.
I know I’m in a great Positively Focused place. So it was no surprise what happened next.
I get a text message. It’s from Jeff. It says: “what do you think about seeing Ad Astra?”
Of course the story doesn’t end there. We ended up going to the movie and having a great time.
· · ·
This next experience came six months later. The more I’m Positively Focused the gap between one seemingly magical event and the next narrows. These days, magical things happen near-constantly. Only it’s not magic. The universe want’s all of us to have what we want.
The more I tune into universal frequencies, the more things I want happen with no effort. Including people acting in ways I’d prefer.
I’ve said in previous posts I ride my bike to and from work. I like riding my bike, even in cold weather. It’s a great workout. The trip takes about 30 minutes.
But it’s late fall, early winter. It’s getting really cold and rainy. I have the right riding equipment. So I’m comfortable, but one day I wondered about how it would be when temperatures dip below freezing.
One night at the end of my shift, I had a thought. It said “Diane is going to offer to drive me home tonight.” Diane is another delivery driver.
When she drives home each night, she drives right by my house. I’ve never asked her for a ride because I like riding my bike. But this night, I had this thought.
When I got this thought, I let it sit there. I didn’t think about it any more than it was: a passing thought. But I imagined how nice it would be riding home in a warm car…
I clocked out. Then Diane came in. She clocked out, turned to me and said “let me take you home tonight. I’m worried about you riding home in the dark, at night, in the rain.”
I wasn’t surprised. I knew this was going to happen. When it happened, that’s what it felt like. That it was going to happen.
The next several weeks rain fell heavy. Winds blew hard and it was really cold. It’s like Diane knew the future.
Not only did Diane offer to drive me home. When we got to my house, she offered to pick me up the next day too.
Every day since then, we’ve been carpooling to and from work. I didn’t have to ask. It just happened.
I’m starting to interpret some thoughts as precognition. My Inner Being told me it was going to happen. Then it happened.
· · ·
A manifestation, no matter how amazing, always contains seeds for the next manifestation. Life is always getting better for a Positively Focused person. So even when something really cool happens, life says “hold my beer” and tops it. What happens next demonstrates that.
I was enjoying riding to and from work with Diane. We became friends. But Diane has a story about money related to her family. Right now she’s the main bread winner as her husband is in school learning to become a teacher. Diane believes she must maximize her income as the bread winner.
What that means is, every evening, Diane would hang out at the van lot, or at the station and stretch out her shift to earn extra hourly time. I didn’t like that very much. I preferred to get home asap so I can write blogs like this one, draw or do other things.
While I didn’t like what was happening I didn’t try doing anything about it. I didn’t talk to Diane about it. I didn’t complain. Instead I considered the positives: being driven home. Not biking in the cold rain…
Honestly, though, there were times when I complained to myself a little. Sometimes I debated whether or not I should go back to riding my bike. I thought how nice it used to be getting home before 9 p.m.
Commuting by car was nice too though.
Then one morning when Diane picked me up, she said she needed to finish right when our shift ended. She said she planned to take her daughter out for her birthday. We finished right on time that night and got home early.
That felt nice.
The next day I asked her how the birthday event was. Then I said “it was nice to get home early. Wasn’t it?”
Then, the following day, Diane told me that her husband asked why was she was coming home so late all the time. He reminded her they were doing fine financially. There was no reason, he said, for her to work extra time each shift.
It’s interesting how that conversation happened. I had nothing to do with it. And yet at the same time, I knew my Inner Being’s hands (if it had hands) were all over this.
So when Diane told me what her husband said, I just said very casually how nice it would feel to come home early every night.
From that day forward, we always left no later than 15 minutes after our shift. That was nice! Because of that, I got home 15 minutes earlier than had I took my bike.
I can tell Diane likes coming home early. I’m sure her husband does too.
Both these stories show how intending rather than trying to control people creates my reality. The more Positively Focused I get, the more life just starts working this way. Things happen literally with no effort on my part.
And the fact that I recognize it when it happens delights the Universe. And that makes the Universe want to deliver more such experiences. That’s the upward spiral I referred to in earlier posts. The better it gets, the better it gets.
It’s easy to get people to do what you want. The key is lining up with the leverage of the Universe. I do that by being Positively Focused.
When I’m Positively Focused, the Universe does all the work. Things I want come easily. Often they come through other people. When it happens this way, the people are more than willing to do what I want because doing it is in their best interest too.
And that’s the easiest way to have other people do what you want: let the Universe make it happen for you.
The best way to make lots of money flowing into my life is by not thinking about it.
I’m not a master at this yet. But I’m getting better as I gain confidence in what I’m doing. Or, rather, how I’m being…
I know my beliefs about money and finances are getting better too. I can tell by what’s showing up more often in my reality.
I’m sharing this life example because of its pertinence. It shows how by not thinking about money, money flows into my life in unexpected and surprising ways.
• • •
Making lots of money flow can be as effortless as anything else. It just takes practice. Being Positively Focused is key. Not thinking about money at all helps too.
I’ll explain why at the end. For now, here’s the story. It’s really cool!
When Money Doubles Without Me Lifting A Finger
This story happened last month.
I have a project called Copiosis (the main website is undergoing a redesign. Link goes to the Facebook page). It’s a world-changing economic system I know would be fun to live in. Someone once called Copiosis “the world Jesus would create were he to return”.
Be that as it may, I know I can create a world better than the one I live in now. Copiosis is my expression of that knowing.
A lot of people follow what’s happening with Copiosis. They want to live in that kind of world too.
And who wouldn’t want to?
Who wouldn’t want to live in a world where all your basic food, shelter, education, healthcare and basic clothing were provided at not cost to anyone, where you’re debt-free and can never get in debt, where you own your home (if you want) and follow your passions, get rich without that costing you anything?
I think nearly anyone would.
Some people are so excited about Copiosis, they throw money at it. Over the six years I’ve been sharing it, people have sent me “gifts”. They range from a few dollars up to $100,000 and everything in between. Some have supported Copiosis ongoingly via a monthly patron plan. Others contribute their time and expertise.
I use money people send me to grow the organization and further share the idea online. I know one day Copiosis will evolve out of capitalism to become the dominant socioeconomic model on the planet. I’m excited to be its spokesperson.
One person following Copiosis is really passionate about it. Let’s call him Joe. Like many, Joe has advocated for it online. But he’s also made presentations about Copiosis at events in Europe.
Joe believes he’s meant to help make Copiosis a reality. Many people come to Copiosis feeling that. But Joe’s a bit different. He has a lot of Bitcoin (BTC).
In late October, Joe was talking about wanting to donate some of his Bitcoin somewhere.
Not thinking about money, I suggested he give whatever organization he wants to give it to the actual bitcoin. Not cash.
That way, when the bitcoin appreciates, they’ll have more money than his original donation.
I really did think he would give the money to another organization. Not Copiosis. That didn’t bother me one bit because there’s plenty of money coming to all the things I’m doing.
That conversation I described above happened on October 8.
Then, on October 13, Joe asked me for my Bitcoin wallet address.
I gave it to him, not thinking at all that he was sending me bitcoin. This is where the story gets real interesting…
Joe then goes away for nine days.
On October 24, he sends me a message. He’s sent me .3 BTC and wants me to check that I got it. A third of one bitcoin doesn’t sound like much. Unless you know about Bitcoins…
Since I don’t think much about money, I hadn’t checked my BTC wallet for a long time. In fact, I hadn’t looked at my wallet for over 18 months!
If you know about bitcoin wallets, they have to synch all the blockchain transactions over time. So it’s best, if you want to be up on things, to keep your wallet up to date.
But I don’t think about money, so I hadn’t keep it up to date. 😳
So when I open my wallet, it’s not up to date. It’s syncing transactions from July 2016! It’s going to take two or three days for my wallet to synch.
I’m not worried about this. I don’t really care. I know the bitcoin process is pretty bulletproof. And besides, my Inner Being’s got this.
Joe’s not too sure though. He’s worried the money went to someone else’s account. He’s worried it got lost.
Joe doesn’t know what I know.
Joe doesn’t know worrying is using one’s thoughts to create a reality one doesn’t want.
But that’s ok in this case. My thought momentum dominates our relationship. He can’t create the reality he’s worrying about with enough momentum to effect my reality because my positive focus won’t allow that.
I try to soothe Joe, but he’s not having it. He want’s me to reach out to my wallet’s support desk. I tell him there’s no need.
The next couple days I don’t hear from him. I’m not worried. I’m not even enthusiastic about the money. I’m not thinking about it at all.
That’s When Things Get Really Interesting
Here’s the cool thing. When he sent the .3 BTC, in US Dollars at the time, he sent about $2,700. That’s a nice one-time gift.
My wallet was synching for two or three days after he sent it.
While it was synching, I couldn’t do anything with it. I couldn’t check the transactions. I couldn’t transfer BTC or cash in or out.
That’s ok though because I wasn’t thinking at all bout this money. 😂
I was thinking about someone else’s money, interesting enough.
I was thinking about the wallet I found in the street on my route. I wanted that person to not worry about her money and other valuables. I was busy hunting her down so I could return her wallet. I wrote a couple posts about this recently. You can read them here and here.
In the meantime, BTC took a nice surprising uptick. By the time my wallet finished synching, that $2700 had more than doubled!
I received $5500!
Joe was astonished.
But I wasn’t.
This is how things work when I’m aligned with my Inner Being though a positive focus. I connect with my Inner Being’s stream of insight and awareness. Through that I get impulses, urges to act…or not act. Acting on those impulses creates in nonphysical reality connections that, when allowed, turn into real-life experiences.
Experiences matching my desires.
• • •
My Broader Perspective also knows all probable futures. Isn’t it interesting that Joe sent his bitcoin to me just before this uptick happened? Just in time for the uptick to double his gift? Don’t you think it’s also interesting that my wallet had to synch, and that process happened over the exact time period the uptick happened?
So long as I don’t resist this natural flow, this connection I enjoy through positive focus, I real-ize all kinds of wonderful life experiences. Life experiences consistent with what I want.
That’s because when I identify something I want, my Inner Being grabs hold of that and makes it reality for it in nonphysical, which then must become my reality.
And so long as I don’t resist that flow, it will become my reality. It must. That’s how the Universe works.
It doesn’t matter if it’s wonderful weather, relationships, nice little surprises people think are “coincidences”, or a pile of money that doubles in size over two days!
Everything is possible when I connect with my Inner Being.
Money Is Not Freedom Unless You Believe It Is
I know humans equate money to freedom. I used to too.
Money does make possible a lot.
The problem with that association is, if you don’t have money (or as much as you’d like) and you believe money is associated with freedom, then you’re stuck kinda.
Because if you believe money is associated with freedom and you don’t have it then it’s easy to feel not free.
I know feeling not free is contrary to what my broader perspective knows about me. In nonphysical, money is not associated with freedom. Freedom is our natural state. That’s also true in physical reality.
But conflating freedom and money in our beliefs creates realities consistent with that.
If you don’t have money, you don’t feel free.
And if you don’t feel free, you create a reality consistent with the beliefs generating that feeling.
And since your beliefs associate freedom with money, you can’t allow money into your life experience because you don’t feel free.
If you associate money with freedom, like I used to in the past, first you must conjure the feeling of freedom. Which is what I’ve been doing for a while.
But really, the easiest way is not thinking about money at all. Which is what I’ve been doing recently.
Here’s why I do that instead of trying to conjure the feeling of freedom in order to get money.
My Inner Being Already Knows I Want It
I know my Inner Being knows everything I’m wanting, where it is and how to lead me to it. This includes all kinds of money. Since it already knows the what, where and how, I don’t have to think about it. I only have to be Positively Focused.
When I’m Positively Focused, I’m best aligned with my Inner Being’s perspective. And so I receive impulses upon which I act. When I act upon them, I draw into my reality, from an infinite variety of probable and alternative realities, experiences consistent with what I want.
I write about this all the time in this blog.
The thing is, I’m more tuned into my Inner Being’s signals on some subjects than I am tuned in on other subjects. I know subjects I’m not so in tuned into my Inner Being with are improving.
Money is one of those latter subjects.
But, I know I’m getting better at soothing old beliefs and tuning into my Inner Being’s signals about money because of life experiences just like the one above. Money is flowing more easily these days.
I also know I’m getting better because of how I feel, how my days are going, the kind of people I meet and what happens in life. I’m getting more positive things happening having nothing to do with money.
And since the Universe is holistic, I know as these other things improve, so are my beliefs about money. Therefore I don’t need to think about money.
In fact, the less I think about it, the less likely I’m likely to energize my old ideas about money.
I know what I’m doing is working. I don’t think very much about money because I know money is flowing to me. This story was a nice indication of that. It feels great receiving it. And that great feeling I feel is what I focus on.
I know doing that is bringing more of everything I’m wanting in to my life experience. Including a great big pile of money!
So why do I need to think about it, when I can just be happy and get it?
I know my stories and beliefs about the world create the world. I also know my stories and beliefs are right there, in the forefront of my conscious mind. So it’s easy to see what my future is going to be. I only need to think about what I’m thinking, and believing. And saying.
Soothing thoughts creating realities I don’t want is precious. It’s precious because that’s how I create desired reality.
For example, I know it’s not a given that certain conversations about things have to be tough. There are infinite versions of such conversations in nonphysical representing probable and alternate versions of said conversations.
The conversation has already happened. The question is, which version am I drawing into my experience?
There are versions where such conversations turn into arguments. Versions where they become fist-fights. And there are versions where they’re pleasant, easy and productive too.
The conversation can be hard. But it can be easy too. And fun!
That’s how I want them to be. Pleasant, easy, productive.
The key to creating realities I want instead of ones I don’t is understanding the “Moment of Becoming” (MOB). Then drawing the desired reality I want through that so it becomes my life experience.
Every event, every thing, every interaction began first as a thought. The vast majority of events, things and interactions happen with little conscious attention to how they become.
That’s because Humans aren’t aware of what you’re reading. They’re literally overcome with “reality stimulation”.
So they create their individual and collective life experiences without their conscious participation. Which is why so many get the life experiences they have.
I know it is possible to create events, things and interactions on purpose. The way I want them to happen. I know I can create people the same way. That’s what I want. That’s what I’m learning more how to do.
I know, and you know, reality can be created on purpose. Things like inventions, art and such happen like so. Especially things we buy. Creators of those things go through a creation process not too dissimilar from the one creating reality. Those creations are reality.
I know the same process works for my personal life experience. Everything else too. This personal experience is how I’m practicing making “creating” a regular part of my life experience in this time-space reality. While at the same time refining my creative prowess in other dimensions. Including nonphysical.
Imagine what life can be like when I’m creating on purpose and it unfolds as I’ve intended! It’s happening more and more already.
That’s why I’m excited about life more and more. And more Positively Focused too. The more Positively Focused I am the more life creates according to my purpose.
The more that happens the more thrilled I get. I want to have more. So I get even MORE Positively Focused. Then life gets MORE like how I want it. So I want even more…
It’s the best positive feedback loop ever!
Ok…Back to conversations…it’s a great example of how to be Positively Focused.
• • •
Last night my housemates came home well after 10 p.m. Ten begins the “quiet hours” of the day here at the house.
But they weren’t quiet. They had been out drinking and were loud. I had gone to bed at 11 p.m. I woke to their noise. At first I was irritated and annoyed.
My first thoughts were negative about the experience. They’re what I call Thought-Reactions.
Ugh, they’re so loud
I hope this isn’t going to be a normal thing
Don’t they know it’s the quiet hour?
I’m going to have to talk with them about this.
Ugh, I bet that conversation will not go well
But then I noticed the emotions “irritation” and “annoyance” for what they are.
I knew those emotions meant I wasn’t seeing this experience the way I see it from my Broader Consciousness. Another way of putting that: I was seeing this situation through my old beliefs/stories, rather than beliefs/stories supporting my desired future reality. Emotions I felt were telling me my focus was creating not on purpose.
So I sat in bed, and started thinking different thoughts. I literally made them up, which is what creation is.
I thought thoughts consistent with future experiences I want to have with my housemates.
All future experiences exist right now, alongside the present moment, in the Moment of Becoming as all things do, including probable and alternate pasts, presents and futures. So having them become my reality is a simple process of aligning my thoughts and beliefs so they’re consistent with the reality I want to have.
Here’s how I did that.
First, I thought thoughts that soothed old thoughts I had about my housemates. I could be brief because I caught the momentum early:
I can tell hey had a good time
I’m glad they enjoyed themselves
They’re not always this way…
Then I turned my attention to thoughts about me and what I want:
This is a great opportunity
I’m glad I’m having this experience
It’s giving me an opportunity to practice what I preach 😌
I enjoy seeing that this is actually a positive experience
Without this experience, I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to practice!
I love practicing creating reality!
I love seeing this practice create positive results!
This is a great opportunity I’m giving myself!
Pay attention to what you’re feeling as you read each statement set. As you do, maybe you’ll feel the subtle but real energetic difference between the thoughts. Which thoughts feel better?
Thoughts draw to themselves thoughts like them. All thoughts want to express the fullest version of themselves…right into physical reality. That’s why inventors, artists, writers, etc., get inspiration. An idea “grows” in nonphysical. It’s seeking its full spiritual expression which is physical expression. When it gets to a certain point, it draws to it physical circumstances most likely matching its desire.
Voila! A great invention, work of art or masterpiece! Or a conversation aligned with the creator’s intent.
It’s how reality happens! An accumulation of “thought” energy sufficient enough to move that energy “forward” into physical expression.
So I know this work at 1 a.m. last night was valuable work.
And doesn’t that mean that my housemates arrival and loudness also was valuable?
Similar past experiences in which I created that first set of negative Thought-Reactions.
It would be easy as I write this to think of past experiences like this one where I felt annoyed and irritated.
Instead of thinking about them now, I’m thinking about that probable future.
The future that I’m creating. The future I want. Where I have a conversation with them that’s light, fun, happy and productive.
And I’m adjusting thoughts and beliefs about that conversation. How it’s going to go. More important: How I’ll feel in it.
Then I’m focusing on those emotions: vibrant, alive, eager, happy, positive, influential, encouraging… As I do, new thoughts come to mind. Images too.
Thoughts and images about how to communicate with them, what the conversation looks like. How fun it will be. How we’ll joke and laugh about it all.
I know that when I’m creating reality, the right combination of thinking (telling stories), beliefs (stories with a lot of momentum behind them) and emotion is key.Editing stories and beliefs, which means catching myself when thinking beliefs that create my reality, then changing them by creating preferred stories/thoughts/beliefs that will create my desired reality, is the first step. Sometimes it’s easier pinning the emotion. Beliefs sometimes seem hidden.
I’ll get to that.
Next, turning my attention to emotions which come up as I tell the new stories focuses/amplifies the inexhaustible energy that is what I am. It puts that energy into motion.
That forward motion draws energy like it. In time, so long as I’m aligned with that energy, what I desire must be.
Because all ideas seek their fullest expression. And their fullest expression in this-time space reality is physical.
This is the way a reality creator creates.
• • •
Consider the movie business. A movie producer/director begins first with the idea. Then imagines it expanding into more. Then she writes it down. She creates a script or screenplay. Then she assembles her team and equipment to make it.
The tangibles – the team, the actors, the equipment, and the actual ready-to-view movie, come after the idea is well under way.
She doesn’t start with a finished physical movie, then try to adjust the characters, the scenery, give crew direction, write the script, the camera angles the lighting, etc., after the movie is already made!
That’s what Humans do though. Instead of working with that which creates their reality (their thoughts and beliefs) they try changing the movie itself (the reality they experience).
A producer starts first with an idea.
In the same way, I know I create my reality. I’m most effective when I plan my moments in advance.
My tangibles are thoughts/beliefs/emotions. They are my connection to my Broader Consciousness flowing in nonphysical and always focused on orchestrating what I’m wanting.
My Broader Consciousness delivers what I want in wonderful ways. It is my production crew. And it’s top notch. There’s no movie it can’t create for me. Just look at my dreams!
My Broader Consciousness is me. My Broader Consciousness is my extended self. Too big to fit in physical reality and yet always there focused on me because it is me! And it loves what I’m doing here. Always!
In the same way a movie producer begins with an idea, I know I create reality the same way.
I start first with an idea. Energizing it with thought momentum combined with the powerful energy of my emotions. Then I wait for the right inspiration to act.
Acting or actions aren’t the way things happen. The “happen” has already happened. Acts are the path through which I rendezvous with that which has happened.
⬆️⬆️ That paragraph is worth re-reading. ⬆️⬆️
Beliefs/stories are always available in consciousness. They are not buried in some “subconscious” or “ego” or some other hidden place as psychology would advise.
Beliefs/stories only look invisible when they’ve become so active they do two things: 1. They stop being in my awareness because they have become “true” for me. 2. They’ve moved so far forward into expression that they stop being beliefs and show up as my reality!
In other words they ARE true for me. So true I can see them, touch them, feel them. Hear them. Experience them.
By focusing on how I feel in any given moment, I’m aware of the reality I’m creating. Emotions will lead to beliefs which seem hidden but aren’t.
Creating reality is fun now that I know how it happens. All creators get aid from the best positive feedback loop ever.
But what’s really fun is diving into the process, playing with the tangibles and seeing my movie unfold before my eyes.
Follow up: two nights ago, I had that conversation with my housemates. It was the best creation ever! It started with us just chatting about the day. They happened to all be sitting in the living room so I joined them after pre-paving my reality. After some fun and laughter about our days and life in general, I got the intuition to say the perfect thing which lead to a wonderful outcome about that night that prompted this post.
Our newest housemate just broke up with his girlfriend. He was heartbroken. So my other two housemates took him out for solace. Getting drunk is what some people do to forget for a time. 🙄
My new housemate apologized as did the others. Then we went right on chatting about all kinds of topics including spirituality, wealth, entrepreneurship and more.
It was the best conversation ever. Just as I had intended.
We humans think a dream job is one that checks our boxes.
Great pay. Interesting work in a field we choose. Lots of bennies and more.
But this is what society tells us a dream job is.
I know a real dream job is one that comes to from nonphysical, the world of dreams. It’s born of my connection to my Inner Reality. Because of that, my dream job matches who I am in the moment.
This true story shows what I mean. As I tell this story, my Inner Being will chime in. Consider it nonphysical color commentary 😀. I’ll italicize their input. Like this:
· · ·
We know Perry’s life experience is a dream experience. It is no less a dream than dreams he dreams nightly. Physical human life experience, or wake-scape, looks more real. That’s only because humans put most of their attention on it. Wake-scape springs from and renews itself from dream-scape. Wake-scape is dream-scape, materialized. It is a more tangible dream.
What humans call dreams can be as real as wake-scape. There is great benefit cultivating such awareness. Perry knows this. Finding experiential balance between waking “reality” and his Reality of Origin – his dream-scape – produces seemingly extraordinary experiences in Perry’s wake-scape. But they aren’t extraordinary. They are “facts of life”. They’re what happens when anyone prioritizes their relationship with their Inner Reality.
· · ·
In a previous post I said I would share how I got the bridging job I now enjoy. My Broader Perspective says this is the perfect job for me right now. Almost daily neat realizations spring from it.
I’ve written in previous posts about some of those. How I got this job is what this post is about.
I’m surprised how much I enjoy this job. It’s not what I would have said I wanted to do at this stage in my life. But so much changed since making my Inner Reality my top priority…
Before that, my aspirations came from Belief Constellations I created. I created these constellations listening to parents, teachers, television, and observing others’ experiences. My own life experience and interpretations of said experience also contributed. All this formed rich constellations of beliefs. Beliefs from which came my aspirations: A rewarding career. A luxury car. A nice home. Lots of money. The American Dream.
Living from my Reality of Origin is far more rewarding than what I had. Focusing on the Moment of Becoming, while holding awareness of my Experience of Origin, makes physical life experience fascinating. I’m far more thrilled than when I was a “successful professional” with all that stuff.
· · ·
Fascination is what life experience is. It becomes ho-hum when humans forget how every instant springs from what Perry calls “Belief Constellations”. You create your reality. The fascination returns when you get this, then see your creation’s emergence from thoughts you think. Once visceral, tangible, physical life experience proves this to you, more than anything you want to express that creative ability more and more. Life becomes fascinating again. As you knew it would before you decided to physically materialize.
· · ·
Here are some of the beliefs included in my past Belief Constellation(s). Maybe you identify with some of them:
Success is the American Dream
Owning expensive things indicates success
Marriage is the epitome of relationship success
Having expensive and varied life experiences are success indicators
Having lots of money indicates success
Having a great socially-stimulating lifestyle, with lots of friends and lovers is success
An executive job with a high-faluting title and fat salary means you’ve made it
None of these things are bad. I had all those things. I enjoyed aspects of them.
But my enjoyment was perverted. They weren’t essentially enjoyable. They were expedients. What made them that? How I experienced them.
You see, all that success masked an inner yearning. I was outwardly successful. I also was stuck. I felt a missing…
As you know, society, marketers and the internet says things and experiences can fill that missing. I believed them. So I sought satisfaction, meaning and self-worth in these things.
Seeking my self-worth in that, I ignored my essential essence. I gained the world and lost (my connection to) my Soul Awareness. I was outwardly happy in the sense that I knew people looked at my life and admired what I achieved.
But I had achievement backwards.
Back then achievement was what others said it was. Now achievement is simple: being happy. It’s fascinating transitioning from previous belief constellations to the current, still emerging, constellations.
Happiness now comes from my Essential Essence. Not from things. Or even other people. Living focused on my Essential Essence brings continual, always increasing happiness, and satisfaction. Everything I was looking for in all that accumulation and success-seeking.
I know everyone has a Reality of Origin. If traced far back enough, we all share one origin. If traced far back enough, it’s the same for all of us. My Reality of Origin changes all the time. Like my now and my future. The past is never stagnant.
Putting dominant focus on how my Broader Perspective sees life, while standing in the Moment of Becoming, I find great satisfaction. I know what is is becoming more like what I want. That awareness is happiness.
That’s essentially what life is for me now.
· · ·
It’s challenging for some and nearly impossible for others to believe beliefs create reality. Everything in physical life experience stems from a person’s thoughts. That reality is convincing. It’s easy for humans to get lost in it. Then create the illusion of separation between thoughts and created reality. Then think and believe consistent with that. That separate reality is “objectively real”, separate from thought.
Then they’re stuck (until they aren’t). They now think thoughts consistent with a separate, objective reality. All life experience is born of beliefs. So their life confirms for them a separate, objective reality.
There’s no reason that reality can’t change to another. All it takes is the same work humans put into creating the reality they have. Most aren’t ready to do the work. Even though it’s the source of incredible success, happiness and prosperity. They get what they’ve creatED and complain about that. Instead of creating what they want. And realizing the joy that comes with that.
· · ·
There are beliefs a lot of people share. Except maybe the wealthy.
The main one is: “I must trade my time and effort for money”.
I have this belief. I believe(d) that money only flows into my life experience when I do something to “earn it”. Well, I’m changing that belief. Still, momentum of that long-held belief pervades. It’s everywhere, isn’t it?
It’s like a powerful river current. Ever tried swimming against a strong river current? Making headway is impossible.
For four years I swam against the current of my beliefs about money and jobs. I refused to get a job. Instead, I believed money would come to me through my projects.
And while some money has come, it’s not yet where I want it. Money is coming through my projects. But my beliefs about money close the door on what would otherwise be an abundant flow.
It’s challenging for some and nearly impossible for others to believe beliefs create reality. Everything in physical life experience stems from a person’s thoughts. That reality is convincing. t’s easy for humans to lose themselves in it. Then create the illusion of separation from it. Then think and believe consistent with that. That reality is “objectively real”, separate from thought.
Then they’re stuck (until they aren’t). They now think thoughts consistent with a separate, objective reality. All life experience is born of beliefs. So their life confirms for them a separate, objective reality.
There’s no reason that reality can’t change to another. All it takes is the same work humans put into creating the reality they have. Most aren’t ready to do the work. Even though it’s the source of incredible success, happiness and prosperity. They get what they’ve creatED and complain about that. Instead of creating what they want. And realizing the joy that comes with that.
One day, this video showed up on my YouTube account. I know everything showing up in my life is on purpose. The message was clear. It makes more sense to have a job, a temporary one, while I allow new belief momentum to grow.
But I wasn’t going to get a job the normal way. That’s because I knew a better way was possible. Having is work for me requires remembering five key points.
Creation rarely happens in an instant.Creation doesn’t happen in a flash. It happens through steadily increasing momentum. The result I want is immediate in nonphysical, but, materialization takes a while. Also, physical reality contains more resistance than nonphysical. So materializations don’t happen here instantaneously. This illustration is helpful.
By the time I desire something it’s done. But its materialization depends on me receiving messages leading me to the doneness. If I’m not open, or in tune it gets delayed.
I know I’m ready when I’m consistently positively focused. That’s because my Experience of Origin and my Reality of Origin are pure positive energy. Being in tune means experiencing physical reality the same way I experience nonphysical reality: with as little resistance possible. Resistance is lowest when positively focused.
Looking for the result slows it down. This is important. Looking for the materialization puts energy on its absence. It adds resistance. Materializations happen quickest when I’m not looking for them.
Early signs of materialization feel like a thought interruption. I know when I’ve received the message when a thought happens that I’m not thinking. Meditation helps condition my mental atmosphere so it isn’t noisy. In that peaceful mind-state, such messages stand out from ordinary thought.
Aware of these five points I knew getting a job could be easy. I wanted to be the evidence of that. Of course, that’s what happened.
I was on my daily walking meditation. I wasn’t thinking about getting a job. I was thinking about my resistance about getting one. I didn’t want a job that would consume all my energy like professional jobs I’ve had. I wanted to be able to have capacity after work to work on my projects. I didn’t want to get up early to go to work and spend my mornings (my valuable creative time) working for someone else.
Then I caught myself. I realized I wasn’t positively focused. So I changed my thinking.
I thought instead about how it would feel to get a job matching everything I wanted. I dropped my criteria. Instead, I focused on how it would feel getting a satisfying job. One matching my current state.
I had no idea what kind of job that might be. Or how much it would pay. I was a blank slate. Fertile ground for my Inner Being.
The Inner Being that every human has knows everything that person wants. That’s because the moment the person decides they want something, it is real in nonpyhysical and part of one’s Inner Being. That’s the Experience of Origin.
The Inner Being thereafter, organizes pathways. Pathways that, if received by the person, will lead to the desire’s physical manifestation.
We know this is the way life works. It only looks different because of where humans put attention. The more they look at what they don’t want, or reasons why they don’t have what they want, the more of what they don’t want they get.
This is purposeful, as we said before. It eventually causes a turnaround. The person starts listening to their Inner Reality. Just as Perry is doing.
Matching my physical reality with my Inner Reality is the best way to hear impulses from my Inner Reality. So on my walk, I thought “how would my Inner Being feel about me having the perfect job?”
What came to me was: “triumphant, appreciative, jubilant and joyful”.
That was the message. It came out of the question. It wasn’t me thinking that thought. It’s hard to describe. Impulses are easier to feel than describe.
Next, I put attention on these emotions. Jubilance, appreciation, triumph and joy. I let them build. I felt better and better. Soon I felt great. Extreme positivity. How could I not? Jubilance, appreciation, triumph and joy feel great, right?
Then, after three minutes, it happened.
The name of the company appeared in my head. I knew it wasn’t me thinking that name because my thoughts were on the good-feelings. Besides, that company name wouldn’t have come into my head. I rarely think about it.
Nothing else followed. It came so suddenly, it surprised me. Then it was gone. I was thrilled. Fascinated. It happened just like my Inner Being said it would. Eager and excited, I continued my walk.
At the end of my walk, I sat alongside a river’s edge. I pulled out my phone and looked up this company. Was I surprised to see they were hiring?
I applied on the spot. In an hour, I got a hire date contingent on next steps.
First I had to video record one-minute answers to three questions. Later that week, I had to pee in a cup. The proctor told me supposing no disqualifying indications, I would start on my start date.
And that’s what happened. In less than a week, I went from wondering about a job, to getting one. No resume prep. No searches. No interviews. Only a piss test.
· · ·
This job offers a lot more than soothing my old beliefs, enough income to cover all my basic needs and a little spending money. The shift I work allows ample morning time to meditate and work on my projects. The work itself is light on my mental capacity. That leaves lots of mental leeway to practice being positively focused. Lots of mental leeway to strengthen my connection with my Inner Being, Inner Reality and my Personal Trinity. It also brings new relationships and experiences. Relationships and experiences I share here.
Those relationships and experiences are divine rendezvous. Experiences letting me know I’m on my path.
When not working, I’m not working. I bring no work home like I did in my high-stress jobs of the past. That means even more focus time.
And, the work itself is energizing, physically rigorous and demanding. My 8-hour shift passes quick. I feel strong, light.
This job is one more proof point in a mountain of evidence. Evidence piled so high, I know nonphysical reality is real. I know everything my Inner Being told me and is telling me is playing out. I know all this manifesting business works.
Not because of what happens. Because of how I feel moment by moment.
In this way faith is unnecessary. Tangible evidence is overwhelming. Who needs faith in the face of so much evidence?
Trusting my connection with my Inner Reality is growing at an incredible rate. Proof begets trust. And a desire to know more.
I know I create my reality. I want to understand more deeply how that happens.
It’s thrilling thinking about what will happen next. I’m living the fascination my Inner Being says life can be. That’s why I write this blog. I know based on feedback I get that what I’m sharing inspires others.
And ultimately, that’s why I’m here. To inspire others not only to their dream job, but to their extraordinary life.
Things happening in my life is how I know my spirituality works.
My my life gets better and better. In every area.
Coming on the heels of the previous story, the following is further proof. Further proof how All That Is makes things happen with virtually no effort on my part.
In that previous post I wrote about what seemed like a chance meeting, but really wasn’t. That story showed how when people show up in what seems like magical ways, I know I’m doing this whole “manifesting” business right.
The more that happens, the more I want to keep it up. I’m discovering a brand new kind of life. A life where everything I want happens with no effort.
. . .
This next experience happened last month, one week after the previous post. It shows how the Universe answers my every desire. The path it creates though is never direct. It curves all over the place.
That’s because I’m always adding more to my desires. And every thing added is being organized by me to be experienced by me. That’s why I know I already have everything I want. Even though it looks like I don’t right now.
It looks that way because “right now” is the past. Not the present.
The reason it looks like I don’t have these things “right now” is, because the present has manifestED. The NOW is in a manifestING PROCESS.
The now is always a manifestING thing. In the manifestING NOW, I have all I want. It only takes a while for it to become manifestED. But when it becomes manifested, it’s the past.
I want to be in the steady, manifestING now. Not the “right now”. The fresh, the new is in the manifesting now, what I also call The Moment of Becoming (MOB).
Sometimes I get impatient about not having in the right now what it I want. I know being impatient prolongs the process. So I strive to be happy and positive with the right now, knowing it’s old news. Not news.
What’s more, it takes longer to manifest things in physical reality. In the nonphysical realm of the MOB, everything happens now. The trick is finding satisfaction with that. Rather than satisfaction on the right now, which is the manifested past.
After all, what is manifestING MUST become manifestED. That’s just how life works. Here’s why satisfaction with the MOB reality is key. When I’m satisfied there, I’m not prolonging the process. The process by which things there become real things in the “right now”.
So I know it’s only a matter of time before everything I want becomes my physical reality, my right now. How do I know it’s happening? How can I believe that? Experiences like the one you’re about to read happen so much these days, I’m convinced.
Incredible Outcomes Indicate More Are On The Way
Before I share what happened, here’s some context. What happened was cool. But if you don’t have the context, you won’t understand it.
I now have a bridging job. I call it that because it bridges beliefs I’ve held a while with beliefs I’d rather be dominant.
I have believed, like a lot of people – nearly everyone actually – that money shows up in my bank account when I do something to “earn it”.
That’s not the only way money can show up though. There are infinite ways money can show up in my bank account.
There are people who inherit money.
There are people who win lotteries.
There are people who steal money and get away with that.
There are people who find money.
There are people other people give money to for no apparent reason.
There are people who’s money comes from interest and investing.
There are others who do things today, that later, generate constant streams of money. Like building a company, or creating a film or writing a song today, that perpetually generates income through profits or royalties.
So there are a lot of people experiencing money flowing into their experience. And that flow is not tied to what they’re doing.
My beliefs about money match beliefs most of us tell. Like others, I’ve believed this so long, it has a lot of momentum. The belief that “I must do things to earn money” itself has faded into my consciousness background. Doing so it creates a belief constellation and associated reality. A reality I took for granted as some objective “truth”.
That reality can be replaced with any reality I deliberately create. And beliefs creating that reality can become my new beliefs. A new “truth” emerges. As real as my current one.
The shift can’t happen quick though.
That’s because my old beliefs have a lot of momentum. I know this because I’ve tried over the last four years to force it through action. That didn’t work. My old belief constellation has too much momentum behind it to turn it on a dime. Like the train analogy, old belief momentum must first slow down. Before new belief momentum can dominate.
So I’ve taken this bridging job as a way of slowing momentum behind my old story.
What I like about living is, I learn how to live better nearly every day. By better, I mean happier. Every day life shows me how to live in accordance with my Personal Trinity in the Moment of Becoming. The better I get at that, the better life gets.
The happier I get.
This bridging job is part of my learning. It came consistent with creating my reality. That’s another story too. One I already plan writing about.
Suffice it to say I didn’t have to do anything to get the job. It literally came to me. And, my Inner Being has told me over and over that this job is exactly where I’m supposed to be right now.
Meeting that transgender woman I wrote about last time, and the way it happened confirms this. So does what happened in this story. So much good stuff is happening, I know this job is on the path to all I want.
Ok. That’s the context.
So here I am, at my bridging job. I’m preparing to go on a route when another guy asks to ride with me. He does the same job I do. Sometimes our dispatcher pairs us.
So this guy, I’ll call him “Guy”, and I pair up. We prep my van. Then we head out.
Turns out Guy believes in the power of beliefs. He also coaches others on using clinical techniques to change reality. I didn’t know this about him. But that was a nice surprise. I have no idea how successful his approach is.
Anyway, we spend the day connecting over this and other things we have in common. We both enjoy the work we’re doing. We both enjoy practicing positivity. We both enjoy napping in parks. ☺️ We both have other things going on. Things larger than this job we enjoy. We both know life is an adventure. We both have strong spiritual practices.
Midway through the work day, Guy tells me he’s enjoying working with me. The feeling is mutual.
Guy asks me about what I do when I’m not at the job. I tell him about Copiosis and Positively Focused.
Then I tell him about The Transamorous Network. As I’m talking his eyes light up. He’s rapt while I’m telling about it.
When I finish, Guy says “Perry, I’m a trans guy.”
I knew that about him. But didn’t want to say anything. Was I surprised? Yes.
Think about this. I’m telling more and more stories about affiliating with the trans community, about wanting a person who matches my relationship desires. And here I’ve spent my entire day with a transgender person! On my job! The job my Inner Being said was perfect for me!
Not only did we spend the day together, we share many things we believe in.
This doesn’t mean Guy is one of my matches. He’s not someone I’m gonna date. I want a transgender woman after all. But he represents my unfolding path to the person I want.
I know life is not a straight line to my fulfilled desire. It’s a roundabout adventure!
I also know I’m not supposed to get everything I want all at once. That would be overwhelming. Imagine if all the transgender women I would meet in this life and the next and the next showed up right now. I’d have so much trouble just remembering all their names!
That wouldn’t be fun at all. Well…it might be at first LOL.
It’s much more fun watching my Personal Trinity put together events. Like this all-day get-together, put together in ways I couldn’t organize myself. Or like that bus experience from the last post. I know it’s all happening — Sarah from two weeks ago, “Guy” from this week, the other transgender woman I chatted with on the bus the other day, but didn’t write about, the media interviews I’m doing more of lately, and whatever else might come next. It’s all for the sheer enjoyment of the unfolding. Not for the end result!
So Guy isn’t the one. I mean he is a match in the sense he matches many of my beliefs. That’s great news. It’s great news because if Guy is this close of a match, imagine what my actual transgender woman match will be!
Guy showing up in my life is like the Universe saying “here’s evidence you’re on the right track. Congrats. Keep up the great work!”
Just as Jeannette was in the last post. Just as the trans woman I chatted with briefly on the bus the other day. It’s all evidence my beliefs are changing.
And here’s the better news: As one belief’s evidence shows up, that means, all my new beliefs are in play too. Everything happens simultaneously.
So I know my belief about money flowing into my bank account, without me having to do anything, is becoming real. I know it’s becoming real because this belief about my transgender partner is unfolding in tangible, satisfying ways.
This is how it works!
Let me be more clear: Meeting Guy, spending all day with him, enjoying the connection and having so much in common with him tells me I’m headed in the right direction. A direction where I’ll spend all day with, enjoy the connection with, and have so much in common with her. The transgender woman who matches me as much and more as Guy does.
And, all that will coincide with an event, where my bank account fills with money.
On the way to all that, I’m having fun enjoying my now.
· · ·
There’s more to the story of course.
Guy then asks if The Transamorous Network would ever expand its work. He wondered if it could help trans people become more comfortable in their skin.
The short answer is: yes.
The longer answer is of course. Until a person is comfortable in their skin, i.e. holding beliefs of self-acceptance, self love and worthiness, they can’t meet their ideal partner. Or have much else that they really, really want.
If I want a person who is confident; someone happy in themselves; a strong and capable person, a happy person, that person can only be mine if I feel that way about myself. I have to be a match to that. That’s the only way I can have that.
Of course that is what Positively Focused helps people with. We help others learn how to do what I’m doing.
After that, Guy asked me for my contact information. He said he wanted it for when he meets transgender women. He asked whether I prefer non-op, pre-op or post-op women. I think he’s thinking about matching me with someone. Why else would he ask such questions?
I know one of the ways the Universe brings my match into my life will be through people I already know. Since Guy shares many of the same things I believe in, and since he sees and knows a lot of transgender people, who knows what may come of this? That said, I know my Inner Being has far broader perspective than I have. So she can come from anywhere.
That’s not why I’m happy about having met Guy. Guy is a cool person. It’s fun to work with him. It’s cool to have him as a co worker.
And, he’s an exceptional indicator that my beliefs, my new beliefs, are shaping for me a new reality. One in which everything I want is.
Seems something significant is happening every week now. I like that pace. And I know it’s going to get better and better. Real evidence is the best evidence of spiritual validity.
The best happiness is conjured. It’s how I get things easily. Getting what I want should be easy. That’s the way life can be for everyone. For me it is.
It hasn’t always been easy. I had to learn how reality happens before getting what I want came easily. I appreciate what I learned. So I’m sharing it.
In the old days I didn’t know all this. By “old days” I mean a few years ago. 😀
Back then, I got a lot of what I wanted and some of what I didn’t. I got that the same way you likely do. Random!
I became pretty successful, but it was hard work, struggle, sacrifice.
Instead of talking about the old days, I want to talk about today’s days. But I guess I can’t without referring a little bit to the old days for context. 🤷🏽♂️
How Do Things Happen?
First, let me clarify something: Getting what I want means creating reality.
Many people scoff when “new agers” talk about “creating reality” and “manifesting”. Here’s the thing about that.
A lot of what I want is “real”. Physical events, physical things and, yes, some intangible things too. Like peace of mind. And understanding how life works.
But everything I want, including intangible stuff, must happen in the physical world. I call that “reality”. You probably call it that too.
So getting what I want means experiencing realities different from what I have. New realities that include in them what I want. Somehow, those realities must come about.
How do they come? Aren’t they being created? If so, who or what creates them?
I explored these questions some time ago. I’m glad I got super-clear answers.
· · ·
So when I talk about getting what I want, I’m talking about creating new realities. Realities that weren’t realities before. I’m at the center of “how”. And I’m getting better proving to myself how that “how” works.
Fig. 1 below shows how I used to create reality. I call it “The Haphazard Way”. Here’s how that process worked for me. Maybe it works for you this way.
Reality Needs A Perceiver And It Shapes That Which Perceives
Reality doesn’t exist if there is no perceiver. So reality needs a perceiver for it to “be”. Any consciousness capable of perception will do. In Fig. 1, I’m using me as the perceiver. But it could as well be a dog, bird, cockroach or single-celled organism.
In The Haphazard Way, as perceiver, I look at the world (Step 1 in Fig. 1) and see what’s happening. From that, I choose what I want.
For example, when I was young, I realized having money was a good thing. In high school, I looked at professions where my talents (love of writing, art, etc) would pay most. Then I planned my life to match that trajectory.
So far so good.
But while spending so much time looking at the world, I also couldn’t help see how other people got what I wanted. Sounds normal, right? You set a goal, then look at others’ success as a model for yours.
The problem is, I’m not here to copy what others did. I thought I was. And I succeeded at that for a while. It wasn’t fulfilling though.
I’m a creator. I’m here to do it my way. A fresh way. You are a creator too. You’re not here to copy others.
Besides, the majority of humans (like 99.999 percent) create what they want haphazardly (Fig. 1). That works. But it’s not easy. That’s why so many people describe getting what they want as “working your ass off,” “sacrificing”, “paying your dues”, etc. Then they feel proud about that.
Why would I want to copy that? If they knew what I now know, I don’t think they’d feel proud.
But it’s what they know. So I don’t blame them. Instead I say “more power to you!” Because they’re going to need it.
In their reality (Fig. 1), working your ass off (or who you know, or having money, or paying your dues or whatever) is necessary. It’s necessary because they’ve looked at how others have done it. And they are copying that.
I was doing the same. Here’s why I don’t do that now.
Living Other People’s Experience By Default
When I copied another’s way, I also accepted their beliefs about reality. Everybody’s doing that. Which is why we have the world we have where pretty much everyone thinks the same way about reality. I thought that way too.
Back to fig. 1: Looking at the world (Step 1) formed beliefs within me consistent with what I was looking at (Step 2). Including other people’s beliefs. If I believed as everyone else, my actions would match everyone else (Step 3). Not my original, pure inspirations.
Beliefs dictate actions in The Haphazard Way
My actions reflected what I believed. Next I’d look at results my actions created (Step 4) to check (Step 5) if they matched my expectations. “Expectations” is another word for “beliefs about the future”. Based on beliefs I got from others, I formed beliefs about the future containing what my acts should produce.
Make sense so far?
Here’s the problem. My adopted beliefs included ways to get what I want. But they also included negative beliefs about the world. About me too.
A major negative belief about the world, which I adopted from others was “there’s only so much to go around”. Another: “I’m in competition for those limited things, whether it’s money, women, cars, etc.” Another: “money doesn’t grow on trees” meaning: it’s scarce.
These are beliefs new agers call “scarcity consciousness”. They make an unlimited thing limited.
My beliefs also included other people’s beliefs about people like me. For example, I had a lot of negative beliefs about being African American and queer. These negative beliefs shaped my self-worth, self-respect and, most important, what I thought was possible.
Maybe you have these too. Where do these come from? I got them looking at the world. I listened to what my parents’ said about the world and believed them. I watched their personal experiences, then formed beliefs from that. I got beliefs from my personal experience. I shaped beliefs listening to TV and radio. I got beliefs from reading stuff.
In other words, I got my beliefs from looking at the world around me (Step 1).
How about you? Where do your beliefs come from? Have you thought about that? Some people I talk with are open enough to say they get their beliefs the same way I did. “I was raised to believe…” is how it usually starts.
Maybe you were “raised to believe…” a certain way too…
Back to Fig. 1.
So when I checked my progress (or lack thereof), I would make up stories reflecting my messed up (inaccurate) beliefs. “This happened because I was black” or, “I can’t do that right” or, “I wish I could do it like that guy”, or “I need money to do that and I don’t have money so…”
The thing is, the world I saw matched beliefs I had. It’s tricky to sort out beliefs I hold from the world I see. They are so intertwined. In reality, they are one. They both reflect each to the other. I know that now.
So no matter what happened from my actions, I interpreted them according to my beliefs. I still do that. That can’t be helped. Life will always reflect my beliefs.
But today, I have a whole new set of beliefs. They come from a new way of creating reality.
What’s interesting is, I wouldn’t have my new way, were it not for the old way.
Life will not differ from how I believe. “Life” is the cycle illustrated in Fig. 1 and 2. Both cycles repeat themselves over and over. Beliefs become automatic. Acts born of beliefs recede into the background. What’s left are results and interpretations.
If I want any part of my reality different, I must change my beliefs. To change beliefs, I must know how they happen. Then use that process differently.
That’s where Fig. 2 comes in.
The World Turns From One Thing I See To The Next
I questioned early on why things happened the way they did. So The Haphazard Way helped me. It’s not wrong. I think it serves this exact purpose.
I’m not the only person who knows about this. More are learning it all the time. Here’s how it works:
First, I look at the world (Step 1). But I don’t accept that world as factual. Instead I look at what is and use it to decide not only what I want, but how I would like it to happen.
I don’t think about the specifics of how it could happen. I only think about how it would feel to have what I want (Step 1).
Once I figure that out, I choose beliefs (Step 2) consistent with what I want. I literally make up beliefs. The more original the better. The beliefs boost the feelings.
Next I hold the feelings the beliefs have boosted. I keep feeling the feelings. I pay as little attention as I can to current reality. Including the fact that it doesn’t contain what I want. I don’t think about what I want either. I only feel how it feels having what I want.
I’m not always successful. But you’d be surprised how little success is needed for this to work.
If/when I’m successful with Fig. 2 Step 2, the universe and the larger part that is me gives feedback, suggestions and impulses about acts to take (Step 3). I try never to act unless I get inspiration. This is important.
Sometimes it takes a long time before I get inspiration. Just ask my wife! 😜
Other times, inspiration comes immediately.
Sometimes I have to sort out where the inspiration is coming from. Old beliefs sometimes draw ideas to me. They sound like “you should be doing….”
The right inspiration doesn’t sound that way.
When right inspiration does come, I try to act immediately (Step 4). Next, I do my best to notlook for evidence my acts create. I don’t check. Instead, I use observing the world as fuel. Fuel for more made up beliefs. Beliefs consistent with the reality I am creating, rather than the one I’m looking at.
· · ·
My Inner Being has written in this blog about some results this process produced. It’s going to continue doing that. So many things are happening all the time.
Life has changed for me since using this process. Most important, I’m finding myself happier. Not because I’m getting more of what I want easier, which I am. But because when I’m spending most of my time focusing on positive beliefs, how can that not become a habit? And how can a positive focus turned habitual not produce a reality consistent with that? And how can that not create a happy life?
That’s conjured happiness.
In the end, I want what I want because I think I’ll be happier getting that. When I’m positively focused, I’m already happy. That’s the best place from which to have what I want show up. It takes out the yearning that happens when I seek happiness in getting things.
The best happiness is conjured happiness. I know that now. And thank goodness that I do because it makes getting things easy.
You can have anything you want. Just realize how things happen in life, then follow that process.
A lot of people look for love in relationship. For many, that is illusive. But relationships, like everything else, are easy to get. So is love.
Everything Is Yours
You can have love you want with no effort on your part. Hard work is overrated. Especially in relationships. Digging through online profiles, going to bars and trying to find Mr. or Ms. “right” by swiping left, right or whatever are unnecessary steps.
By relaxing, having fun and enjoying life, you don’t have to do those things. Everything you want comes easily.
A friend of Perry’s wife demonstrated this over the last two years. That she had no idea it was happening shows how easy it happens.
Following explains how the process works. After that, we’ll tell Susan’s story, which shows how the process worked for her. Along the way, we’ll clarify points you should know so you too can produce similar results.
Getting everything you want is easy. Here’s how:
Come to accept what you have. No matter how bad you think it may be, you have to find a way to accept it. More than that, you have to embrace it and appreciate it. It may not feel this way, but your current situation is working out in your best interest. That attitude makes you positively focused. Stay negatively focused – complaining, talking about or getting angry about what you have – and you get more of what you have.
Pay attention to thoughts you receive that you aren’t thinking. Often, you receive thoughts you didn’t think. They feel like intrusions in your ordinary awareness. These are messages sent by your Larger Self. They come as suggestions, ideas, gut feelings.
Follow the suggestion, ideas, gut feelings. Intrusive thoughts are inspirations. You’re supposed to follow them. It’s ok if you don’t, but if you do, life becomes far more interesting, spontaneous, fun and easy.
Practice being happy as often as you can. By doing so you tell your reality that you want more happy experiences. Inspiration comes easier too.
Even if you don’t do these five steps, you’ll end up using the process because it’s built-in to living. It literally is “life”.
Like we said, Susan is not aware of this process (Step five) yet it still worked for her. That means it can work for you. More so if used deliberately. So now, let’s overlay these steps on Susan’s experiences so you can see how they work in practice instead of just theory.
It began with a crappy marriage
Susan had been married many years. That marriage was crappy by Susan’s admission. Her divorce was even worse. Contentious and frustrating, it ended with her “wasband” getting the better deal. That’s because she was the “breadwinner”.
Every negative experience serves the experiencer. So, every negative experience in the end is positive. Susan’s crappy marriage helped her figure out what she wanted.
For one, she realized she didn’t want to be in a relationship where she lived in the same house with someone else. In other words, she enjoyed living alone, having her own space, not having someone always around, but also being in relationship.
That’s good to know when looking for a partner.
All through the divorce, Susan criticized her “wasband”. She complained about the divorce process, her lawyers, his lawyers. The more she complained, the more she had to complain about. Her ex fought her more and more.
He started doing vindictive things. Like slashing her tires and manipulating ways to keep her from their dogs. Perfect examples of Step One.
From time to time Perry’s wife told Susan about this process. Like many people though, Susan preferred experiential learning. She doesn’t like being told what to do.
Neither does Perry’s wife. 🙄
Soon Susan stopped complaining as much. She got tired of it. By the time her divorce was finished, she accepted the process. Step One: check.
Inspiration Creates Evidence of “Better”
What Susan didn’t know was, her experiences with “wasband” helped her know things she wouldn’t have known had she not gone through them.
She knew she didn’t want another marriage. She knew she wanted her autonomy. And she knew what kind of relationship she wanted: one without the intertwined aspects of traditional relationships.
It was no surprise then what happened next.
A friend she knew when married turned into a boyfriend. Let’s call him Jake. Jake wasn’t a long-term perfect fit. But he was perfect for now. Meaning: he offered sexual intimacy, occasional company, friendship. Someone to hang out with, without commitment. Jake was also a known-entity. They knew each other for years. So it was easy to turn that friendship into more.
Jake was and is polyamorous. He was seeing other women. He didn’t tell Susan this until six months into their two-year relationship. Jake subscribes to a “don’t ask, don’t tell” relationship policy.
“If you don’t ask, I’m not going to tell you,” he says. Which is fine, if the other person knows this.
Susan didn’t know this. By the time she found out, she wasn’t happy about it.
She told Perry’s wife she really didn’t want to be in an open relationship. She didn’t like feeling “second fiddle” to who-knows-how-many other women who might be in Jake’s life.
But by the time she found out, it was too late. She had feelings for Jake.
There was more to Jake than Susan realized. Jake is fiercely independent, wicked smart, adventurous and a talented agitator/activist. He likes being his own person.
“I never ask people for anything,” he recently told Perry over tea. “Even if I have to go to a hospital. I’ll find a way to make it myself.”
That independence spills into his relationships. Jake thrives in relationships he controls. No wonder he prefers polyamory. Multiple opportunities foster independence.
Jake’s independence tinted his relationship with Susan too. He decides when she could come over. He decides when he comes to her house. If he has a date with someone else, he is not available. In many respects, Susan’s access to Jake was at Jake’s discretion.
That worked great for Susan for a while. In time, though, she resented this. She felt the relationship was going one way: Jake’s way.
In Susan’s words recently: “I thought I’d like this non-monogamy thing a bit better if I were to participate in it fully.”
So she decided to do something. A “good for the goose” thing.
What she before resisted, she now was warming up to. So much so she too sought extra partners.
One day she got an idea: a profile on OKCupid. Step two: check!
“In retrospect, I did it shortly after discovering that [Jake] had another lover…” Susan said.
Meanwhile, Susan fell in love with Jake. Jake was in love too. What Susan at first tolerated now she enjoyed. Even given the imbalance. Step One again.
She enjoyed her freedom, her autonomy. She now liked Jake having options. And she looked forward to having her own options. Men she could see occasionally and casually too.
Your Reality Is Under Your Control
You get what you’re ready for. The problem is, you’re never ready for something different than what you have, until you accept what you have. If you’re not happy with what you have, you can’t get what you want because you’re not ready for what you want. You’re complaining about what you have.
People think they know what happiness is. Happiness is not something that comes after getting what you want. Well, it does happen that way.
But it’s meant to be something you feel no matter what you’re experiencing. That’s because everything you experience serves your fulfillment. Yes, even what looks like negative experiences.
When you figure that out, your life is your conscious design. This unconditional happiness is your painter’s palette. Because when you’re happy, no matter what you have, you are ready for having what matches how you feel, AKA your life’s masterpiece.
Making Room For Even More “Better”
As Susan found herself mostly happy in her open relationship, she made room in her life for more of what she wanted. That created what happened next.
For a while nothing significant happened on OKC. She says she met three guys. She enjoyed meeting them. Otherwise, She said, the process was “drudgery”.
This is why we don’t support using dating websites. They can work. But they frequently don’t. In the meantime, they conjure too much negativity (frustration, impatience i.e. resistance to what is). That stretches out the time it takes to get what you want. It’s far better to be happy, enjoy your life and follow your intuition. Meeting your match that way is a happy, natural, surprising and enjoyable process.
Online dating for most people isn’t happy, natural or enjoyable.
Like many people though, Susan learned to accept the drudgery. Again, Step One.
That’s when one profile “stood out,” she said. “OKC estimated 99% compatibility, and I liked his photos and what he’d written.”
She was referring to this guy Susan brought to a small friends gathering. Let’s call him Carl.
They had almost everything in common. They finished each others’ sentences…laughed at the same things…it was like they had been together for years.
Carl wanted a monogamous relationship from the get-go. He said so in his profile. Susan’s profile didn’t say that. But Carl liked what Susan offered so much, he compromised.
This happens a lot. Insecure people compromise their ideas because they think they need to to get what they want.
That’s never the case. But impatience is a powerful thing. As is insecurity. When people can’t be patient they compromise. In compromising, the path leading to what they really want lengthens.
It’s not a problem because every experience is helpful. You’re also eternal, so you have plenty of lifetimes to get what you want. But if you exercise patience and follow the process above, what you want comes faster.
Time for a mental health break:
Susan Finds Freedom In Openness
Carl fell in love with Susan instantly, he says. And why not? She’s lovable!
Interestingly, Carl’s relationship behaviors contrasted Jake’s. Some would say this was coincidence. But it wasn’t. It resulted from everything Susan experienced up to then.
Carl wanted collaboration in relationship. While he didn’t like so much sharing Susan with others, he didn’t resist it. Not at first. Meanwhile, Jake got more controlling when he found out Susan had another lover. His insecurities, dormant while he controlled the relationship, now surfaced. This was a good thing. His insecurities invited everyone involved to become better versions of themselves. Carl included!
For example, both men had toothbrushes in Susan’s bathroom. Jake’s was in the toothbrush holder. Carl’s in the drawer. Carl imagined (rightly) Susan was hiding from Jake the fact that Carl sometimes spent the night. That chafed Carl.
Carl’s feelings were petty. So were Susan’s intentions. Susan was trying to protect Jake. To keep from triggering Jake’s insecurities. That strategy backfired. It only made both men more insecure and her frustrated.
She found both men’s insecurities unattractive. But she also enjoyed it. Through something she initially didn’t like at first (an open relationship), Susan found empowerment and freedom and choice and options.
In other words: Everything her marriage didn’t offer.
Insecurity Boils Over
One night Carl put his foot down.
He said he wanted monogamy with Susan. That surprised her. She had been clear from day one that’s not what she wanted. One day, Perry’s wife reminded Susan that two years ago a monogamous relationship was exactly what she wanted.
But Susan grew happy with her current situation (being in an open relationship). That’s step one. She missed step two, but the process still worked because she followed her inspiration posting an OKCupid profile (Step three).
And now she faced a new reality. One she wanted two years ago. Carl represented a great match: intellectually, physically and more. They really liked each other too.
Susan didn’t remember wanting monogamy two years ago. And yet, here she was, getting everything she wanted. Freedom. Choice. Two good men who both loved her, that she both loved. And an opportunity for monogamy.
Susan Got Everything, And Then Some. So Can You.
Intrigued with Carl’s request, she told Jake. Jake got even more insecure. Angry in fact that Susan was considering a monogamous relationship with someone else. Of course, he didn’t want to be in a monogamous relationship. He wanted what he had: his cake (Susan) and the opportunity to eat other cake.
But let’s look at what Susan created. In two years her life matched every desire she wanted.
She put her marriage behind her
She found a relationship that worked immediately after the divorce
That relationship brought interesting experiences, growth, adventure
She followed her inspiration
That lead to meeting Carl, a perfect match
Now she has not only an open relationship, but an opportunity for a closed one too!
In other words, Susan is getting everything she wants. And then some. Even though she didn’t realize what was happening.
Like we say, the process works for everyone. Even those unaware of it.
· · ·
Today, Susan is negotiating the best of both worlds. She loves both Carl and Jake. Both represent different desires she’s had over two years. Both men love her. Both offer different things. In other words, Susan is enjoying her love life as it brings her plenty of pleasure, adventure, love and more.
You can have your version of the same thing: plentiful experiences where what you want comes easily. It all starts with realizing you have a larger you from which to live your life. Then finding ways that connect you to that.
Life doesn’t have to be hard or a struggle. Love doesn’t either. And neither is, when you follow life’s really simple process.