I know what I want, when I get it, makes me happy. I also know when I’m happy I set up more future happy moments.
But since every time I get what I want, I am happy, I can just be happy, even when I’m not getting what I want.
I can be happy now, no matter what is happening.
This is the basis of our work at Positively Focused. I know when I put my happiness first, by telling stories about my life that make me happy, I put myself on a path to living a happy life. That’s because a happy life looks like feeling happy in every moment.
What happens in my life, when I’m not deliberate about choosing happiness, determines how I feel. But life doesn’t have to be that way. I can turn it around. I can choose to be happy, no matter what I’m experiencing, then experience good things always.
I know when I do that my life fills with happy experiences. I know this because I’ve tried it and it has always worked out that way. I also know this because my Positively Focused clients get exactly the same results.
It’s a bit more complicated than that, but in a short while, I’ve created a life filled with happy experiences. So have my clients.
So this holiday season, I appreciate what I’ve realized: That life is happy when I am happy. And the happier I am, the more my life shapes to my happiness. In my happiness, I don’t need my life to change. But because I’m not focused on my life needing to change, because I’m not telling stories about how bad my life is, my life changes.
It’s a paradox, but it’s true.
I’m grateful for what I’ve discovered. And I’m loving seeing people who have come to me seeking relief from anxiety, insecurities, shame and other life problems, find relief and more, simply by telling better stories.
I appreciate knowing life is supposed to be fun, joyful and filled with fulfilled desires. I appreciating having such a life. And I appreciate sharing what I know with others, then seeing their life turn out that way too.
Now, I recognize I create my reality. Since the past is just another reality, I also re-create my past. That’s what happened this holiday season.
I’m sharing this for the many people who, like me, struggle with holidays. I know now “struggle” is optional. No matter how bad I used to feel, this year, I’m having the best Thanksgiving ever, in large part thanks to my house mate, who I’ll call Kimberly.
I’m going to relate how I transformed my holiday experience while interspersing some theory. If you want to know how all this works as a cohesive living approach I call Positively Focused, please visit my website. There you can schedule a free 30-minute 1:1 in which I’ll answer any questions at no cost to you.
How I transformed the Thanksgiving holiday in less than 15 minutes.
My house mate Kimberly is a manifestation I created after a wonderful ordeal involving previous house mates. In January I’ll tell that story.
Kimberly’s arrival fulfilled many desires. I know though that all fulfilled desires contain within them seeds for more consciousness expansion. That usually looks like “negative” experiences, although they aren’t that. Indeed, what happened Thanksgiving morning was perfect.
Excitement filled our little home the night before. We bought an enormous turkey, planned several decadent side dishes and even went in together on a new projector to watch Killing Eve and Uncle Frank, Amazon’s new feel-good holiday movie.
Settled in for the night, we anticipated a wonderful morning cooking food, listening to music and generally enjoying time together.
That’s not what happened, at first
I’m an early riser. Kimberly usually wakes later. I got up eager for our culinary adventure. But as I got things ready, I noticed she had made a bag of popcorn late last night. That meant, I realized, that she might not get up early enough.
Little did I know she had planned on joining me. She even set an alarm. But something went wrong. Little did I know how “going wrong” presents enormous gifts.
For hours I relished the morning, preparing our dishes. As turkey dressing time neared though, Kimberly’s absence loomed large. Where was she?
It was a passing thought at first. Then it turned into worry. Then it turned into resentment. Kimberly wasn’t meeting my expectations, expectations I thought we shared.
That’s not her purpose though
Kimberly need not meet my expectations. No one lives to meet my expectations. When I got that a while ago, I mostly stopped resenting people when they did their own thing.
Everyone comes into reality pursuing their fulfillment, whatever that looks like. The paradox is, when a person shows up in my reality, pursuing their fulfillment, I know now they aren’t real, objective people. Instead, they reflect back to me beliefs I hold in my Belief Constellation even while they pursue individual self-fulfillment.
Other people (as well as everything else in my reality) are physicalized versions of beliefs active in me. I tested this over several years. Improving my beliefs always changed people’s behavior, especially the way they treated me.
Today, people in my life are angels. They show me active beliefs in my Moment of Becoming on their way to becoming my tangible reality. Realities I want I welcome. Realities I don’t want I know I can do something about.
Here’s what that looks like
I knew from years of Positively Focused practice that resentment and worry had nothing to do with Kimberly. Instead they indicated beliefs active that drew into my now, an experience I preferred not having.
Realizing that I did something about it. First, I looked inside to see what thoughts/beliefs I activated. After all, I had enjoyed, up to that moment, being in the kitchen by myself, making all this food my way, without having to compromise anything about what I was doing. It was fun!
My exploration showed old beliefs I created as a kid active in my now. They were about my parents, my family and holidays with them. That’s when Kimberly offered an amazing opportunity. I could clean up those old beliefs and, simultaneously, clean up how I experienced my now, create better future experiences and transform the past too!
Once I got that I stopped preparing meals. I went to my room, set a 15 minute timer, then went into deliberate focus. In that focus I realized/remembered the following:
Kimberly is a manifestation. She is not real.
Kimberly is a manifestation of my entire Belief Constellation embodied in an apparition in my evolving now consciousness.
As such, constructively using realizations represents allows stronger connections with my Personal Trinity. Reacting any other way creates unwanted futures.
Kimberly’s choices are hers and those acts aren’t about me. But make them about me when I interpret them as such!
Such a wonderful gift.
Circumstances in life do this all day every day. People, objects, experiences all are physical representations of my ongoing beliefs.
For better or worse, most people don’t know this, so they interact with their reality as though it is separate, an objective reality apart from who they are, what they are and what they’re believing.
Even among those who know physical reality is a mirror of one’s internal reality, few know what to do with that information.
Those who don’t know struggle with all kinds of mental and emotional traumas, with few remedies other than iffy mental health therapies which often stretch over years and produce scant lasting results.
Rather than taking these wonderful gifts evidenced in people, places, objects and events, for granted, humans can use them for personal transformation. Done diligently, such transformation also transforms ordinary life into the Charmed Life I share with my clients.
Seeing Kimberly as a transformational opportunity also let’s her off the hook. She can be how she’s being and in the absence of me making her wrong, she becomes the angel she is, but only when I see her from my Inner Being perspective, my Broader Perspective which sees everything in reality as blessed, perfectly unfolding and beneficial to all the Universe.
Creating awesome from ordinary
The moment I tuned into my Inner Being, the discomfort, angst and resentment lifted. It was crazy how fast and complete it was! One moment it was there, the next POOF! Totally abscent.
What flowed in its place were thoughts about how wonderful this experience turned out to be, how good realizing that felt, and how remarkable I was as a deliberate creator creating this experience. I felt compelled to voice these thoughts:
Wow, I feel much better.
This is so much better than how I felt before.
Those old beliefs soothed in my awareness placed on more empowering thoughts.
I am having a good time creating a new reality with just my awareness.
I get that my reality is my creation, including other people in my reality.
Then I started thinking about the meal I’m preparing:
This meal is going to be really good!
The au gratin smells delicious!
So do the roasted veggies!
The stuffing is going to be good too!
Then came the extraordinary convergence of reality matching my new perspective: At that exact point in time, Kimberly came bounding down the stairs. I heard her walk into the kitchen from inside my basement space. Then she sent me a text:
Trippy! The very moment I tuned into these better-feeling thoughts, my experience of Kimberly shifted. A new reality showed up including a different Kimberly!
Nevertheless I wanted to amplify how good I felt. It felt so good. These thoughts flowed next…
That’s so cool what just happened.
I shifted my reality!
And my apparitions shifted too.
What I’m discovering is so accurate.
I love my Inner Being relationship!
I felt waaaay better by now.
In that moment I returned to my original bliss. I realized too my old beliefs transformed as well: I see them now as having created experiences long ago that, I was destined to shift, in my now, my current Thanksgiving; and in doing so transforming my past holiday experiences, my present one and all future ones.
I have wonderful new memories about the holidays. Memories made more powerful because they sprung from enlightened consciousness. I know thoughts born from enlightened consciousness are far more powerful than those born out of it.
I also now know that I’ve transformed past, present and future in one fell swoop. I know it because I feel it.
What does it feel like? It feels like Joyful invincibility.
Yesterday I went on a bike ride while listening to inspirational words from my mentor. I rode up Lief Erickson Drive to the bike/hike trail, then ventured six miles in.
Delight and clarity about life experience filled me as my bike jostled and jiggered over rocks, ruts and mud along the trail. It was hard going, mostly uphill, but I didn’t experience “hard”. Instead, I felt appreciation, fun and good times. I sought this, so “hard” felt “fun”.
I literally laughed at some points when tire and trail disagreed, which sent me and my bike in random directions, but never off-trail.
The farther I ascended this rocky, shaky, bumpy trail, the more exhilaration, joy and clarity filled me, and the less I felt the trail itself. My body and bike merged with every rock, every rut, while my attention focused, softly taking in All That Is – trees, birds, water puddle, bike, legs pumping…
At mile three I took a break during which sensations along my arms and shoulders caught my attention. I thought something bit me, yet no evidence of bites presented themselves. I scratched and rubbed, but the sensations persisted. Seeing no signs of insect attack, I ignored the itching, remounted and rode on.
After mile six I turned around. Going in, it’s uphill mostly, so going down presented an added challenge: more speed. I swooshed down trail, twisting and turning my narrow-tired bike through puddles, slippery rocks and even slipperier mud.
An Awakening Moment Lay Ahead
I came to a sun-drenched clearing just as the itching on my shoulders and arms got worse. I stopped to scratch but again, saw no evidence of irritation…no bites or bumps.
Suddenly, sunlight, colors in the trees, the sky, wind song, bird song…everything I perceived occurred at volume 10. Everything got brighter, clearer. My head got light, goose bumps covered my arms and neck. I understood then, the itching wasn’t skin-related. It was energy-related.
It indicated in-tune-ness with my Broader Perspective, my body releasing resistance yielded to pleasure and power born of pure positive focus. I straddled my bike, stunned in appreciation…
When I started riding again, I felt super-present, loving life and the world around me.
Far from the trail, in one of Portland’s remaining industrial areas, it struck me again! Beauty, oneness, harmony…the elegance of all that is filled me so much, I pulled my bike over, dismounted and sat on the sidewalk against the wall of a local brewery. I couldn’t ride any farther.
Everything I saw, humming birds flittering by, blue sky, white wisps of clouds, bright yellow sun, and yes, roads, buildings, litter along the road, homeless people sleeping in their cars… everything around me amplified themselves.
I saw it all connected. I saw it all beautiful.
Nearly every day since, I feel this way coming out of sleep, this oneness, this peace, this connected-to-All-That-Is-ness. I feel God’s happiness with creation filling me so completely, physical reality experience becomes an ecstatic experience. It’s the feeling I feel filled with the being of me: A God in human form.
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An editor working with me on an anthology essay I wrote wanted a better headline. The original didn’t pop, she said.
Knowing what I know, I set my intention so Universe would do the work. In some life areas though, old habits are just that: moments later, I scribbled several ideas on my note app, trying to coax Universe into giving me some ideas:
That’s the hard way. And it felt hard. So I wrote back to my editor. I told her I’d get back to her. Take some time, She wrote back.
Days later, I Pre-Paved a future probable reality wherein I’d receive what I asked for: a wonderful headline, one my editor would love. One that would pop.
A couple days after that, I re-read my essay. It’s so good. It’s a true story about an adventure a Transamorous Network client and I experienced. While reading it “Life IS Joy” popped out of the essay. I sent that to my editor, even though I didn’t like it all that much.
That not liking all that much was a clue…
My editor didn’t like it either. She suggested something catchier, something with a play on words:
Nothing came up when I focused, so I just let go. I figured my Personal Trinity would bring me a perfect headline.
That’s what happened
Last night I watched a favorite James Bond movie for the umpteenth time. A Quantum of Solace it’s called. I enjoyed watching it. I enjoy the luxury Bond enjoys surrounding himself in. People in the movie are pleasant to watch too. 😊
Then I went to bed, blissful in positive focus.
The next morning (the day I’m writing this), the phrase “A Universal Solace” came to mind. My immediate reaction was: hey that’s kinda good. Then I poo-pooed it as too obvious a play on “Quantum of Solace”.
But then I thought “wait a minute! This is what I asked for!”
Tentatively, I looked up the word “Solace”. It perfectly fit what happens in the essay. My Personal Trinity scored a direct hit!
I sent it to my editor. Here’s what she said.
I created a future probable reality, then let my Personal Trinity handle the rest. I noticed how hard it was trying to do what I wanted through action alone. I trusted my feelings instead. Look what happened!
What happened next: even better
Weeks ago I got an impulse that my essay could become a full-length book and/or a movie. I wanted to send my editor a note about that, but held off.
After getting her email above, I sent her two more emails, one replying to her acknowledging the new headline:
and another offering to work together on more projects:
Here’s what she wrote back:
I marvel at this because I love writing. I always have. I love telling stories through various ways; through illustrations, film/video, through speeches and presentations and of course through words.
My life as a story is worthy of being told. And here is my editor urging me in this direction, just as an angel of the Universe would.
This path unfolding before me, filled with so much of what I’m wanting, feels ecstatic. All of it is unfolding aligned with talents and passions I already have, not something I learned in school, but something inherently me.
It’s all coming from my inner knowing, tied to my authentic self. I tell my clients their authenticity is from where their prosperity and joy emerges. My life offers living proof. Universe loves me.
It loves you too.
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Yesterday, while preparing for a walk, I thought about my fleece gloves. I have a lot of gloves, hats, scarves…I like bundling up when nature cools its jets come autumn time.
What I thought while pulling on still-damp, waterproof gloves I wore in the rain the day before was “The weather’s cooling, my fleece gloves would be perfect for a day like today.”
I had no idea where they were though. I knew they weren’t in the basket in which I keep my gloves. I reorganized my basket last month and didn’t see them.
After my walk I helped my landlord remove cushioning from under my bedroom’s jute floor covering. Removing the cushioning required lifting the bed and its under-bed slider drawer.
I carried the drawer to the living room by maneuvering around April, the landlord’s dog, who found her perfect seating spot…in the way.
Avoiding April required shifting the drawer in my hands so I could pass through the doorway and keep my eye on her. As I shifted, my fleece gloves spilled out. Fulfilled desire!
I know little manifestations indicate larger ones on the way
Creation happens easily and fast so long as I create the right way and do it resistance-free. Whether it’s a little manifestation, like discovering my gloves, or a big one, such as manifesting financial abundance, creation needn’t take a long time. But it does when my ask includes resistance or if I ask sloppily.
Thoughts like “I’ve lost my gloves”, or “I want my fleece gloves…but I don’t know where they are,” or “Where are my gloves?” say “I want to have an experience where I can’t find my gloves.” That’s sloppy asking.
Asking such questions creates lost-glove realities.
This happened with my house key recently. It’s funny because my Inner Being perceived a probable reality near me featuring my “lost” key. So it told me after my walk one day: “put your key back where you always put it”.
I’m practicing immediately following my impulses. This time I didn’t do that tho. 😂🙄🙁
Days later, I needed my key. I looked in its usual spot: nothing. “Where is my key?” That was my knee-jerk reaction, but it also instantly created its “real” counterpart.
I felt my Inner Being urge more deliberate thoughts, but too late: the probable future reality arrived, featuring my absent key.
I looked high and low. I checked every pants pocket, including the pants I wore the other day. I looked in the dirty clothes hamper, under the couch, in my drawers…I tried remembering when I had it last. Still…no key.
My next thought: “I can’t find my key!” clinched the creation. My key was lost. More accurate: I created a reality consistent with my persistent thoughts.
Funny thing is, I felt that momentum build, I “saw” the belief “I can’t find my key” in my Moment of Becoming drawing circumstances consistent with it. I even remembered my Inner Being telling me to put my key were I usually do.
It was trippy seeing that creation creating itself right out of my thoughts. I lost my house key because I declared it so. My landlord made a replacement.
Notice the difference in thinking
“The weather’s cooling, my fleece gloves would be perfect for a day like today” carries different energies than “Where is my key?”
The first feels like an affirmation. It leads to an outcome, a reality, wherein I wear my gloves. The question leads to an outcome where I’m looking for my key.
In less than 24 hours I had my gloves without trying to find them. In other words, with no effort. I still don’t have my (original) key. 🤷🏽♂️
Creation feels both ways. Both illustrate how it works. The glove example and the key example show how effortless it is. So effortless, if feels like I’m not doing it. But I am!
Losing my key, in the context of receiving my gloves, offered fantastic lessons in fine-tuned, deliberate creation. I enjoy creating deliberately. I don’t like creating sloppily.
This is why I say there are no negative experiences in living a Charmed Life. Living Positively Focused, I see life through the eyes and mind of God. From there, all experiences are positive because they all create greater awareness.
I believe thinking and speaking in this subtle, refined way creates outstanding opportunity. It allows everything into my life through easy, flowing rhythms, it creates favorable circumstances where little things and big things both find their way to me.
I want more experiences like this, where I get what I want easily, not through effort, but because I speak it that way.
Why was I in a funk then? After all, yesterday I received the a great big manifestation, one I expected for years.
I know the answer: Manifestation satisfaction flashes like metaphysical lightning. In it’s flash my Broader Perspective expands. Fail to keep up with that and my connection with Broader Perspective diminishes.
All manifestation marks the path of my eternal, expansionary life experience. Staying too long reveling in the manifestation, I feel the gap between me and my expansion.
What does “feel the gap” feel like?
Malaise, slump, stagnancy. Rather than continued eager expectation I feel when focusing forward along my expanding path, I feel diminishment.
All manifestation creates this. That’s why I know manifestations mark paths, they don’t signify the end goal. The end goal comes when I feel delight along the path.
It’s simple math
I’m mostly always on the way to a manifestation. When manifestations pop, they always create more desire, thus more potential, future manifestations. Manifestations birth manifestations.
I must “travel” manifestation-to-manifestation. I am eternal. Doing the math 😊, throughout my eternity, I always on the way to manifestations. I spend more life “on the way to”, comparatively less life “experiencing”.
Slumps come when I forget life’s simple math.
I like knowing and feeling the difference between pre-manifestation expectation, which feels wonderful and unlimited, and post-manifestation euphoria expiration, which feels like a slump or a funk.
Even in a slump I know my path draws to me more manifestations. My job now: catch up with that which I expanded into, meaning, progressing along the path.
Knowing how to be shapes what happens post-manifestation.
Resistance doesn’t have to be part of the process, but usually is. I know my Broader Perspective leads me along my path of least resistance to desired manifestations. So when I feel a funk or a slump, I know in this moment, cooling my jets, relaxing, slowing down, being more attentive to the now, keeps me on path.
Doing less, being more is the way.
That can be hard
What’s interesting about that guidance, as accurate as it is, is that every day life experience of Common Mortals does not encourage such behavior.
But I know looking crazy, living outside social norms, living the way animals, plants, planets, the wind, water and everything else in the Universe lives, is the path to all I want. Even as most Common Mortals life life differently.
I know following my Broader Perspective brings everything that I want. “Trying”, “making things happen” feels hard because it is. I prefer looking like a crazy person, a lazy person, a person with their head in the sand, or in a cloud.
My life looks crazy, scary even, but feels wonderful. And I know in this moment, the moment I’m writing this, as I sit in my slump, in this moment I appreciate my path because “wonderful” tells me my path is true.
Resisting the slump by trying to get out of it, trying to change it into something else, veers me off course.
Instead, I lay low and enjoy the slumpiness for what indicates: “on-the-path” and more desired manifestations.
And in doing that, the slump and its slumpiness disappear. I know because as I write “slumpiness” transforms to knowing, appreciation, and happiness.
Then comes awareness of enormous numbers of subjects ready to delight my attention.
I turn slumps into opportunity by doing what most Common Mortals will not. So I live a Charmed Life.
Addendum: While sitting here after writing this draft, I tuned into the Apple Event featuring Apple products coming out this year. I consider this a manifestation as it combined so many of my interests: I love Apple products, the event’s production quality was super well done, and it featured shots of Apple’s amazing campus. I also enjoyed sharing the experience with a good friend who equally adores Apple. A great follow-on and proof of everything I wrote above.
I’m officially out of the slump! 😂
On to future more manifestations!
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I stopped using alarm clocks….I can’t remember when. These days I lightly intend the next day, the day before. Rather than plan a to-do list, things I want to check off tomorrow, I tune my vibration, my feeling tone, my Moment of Becoming so that tomorrow feels fun and adventuresome.
All That Is then gets to work, setting my agenda for me, including dreams and their messages. Including what time I wake.
When I do wake, it’s effortless, easy and delightful. Impulses I receive inspire my action. By the end of the day, the day completes itself. Full of fun and creation, I end each day, these days, happy and ready for another dream state adventure and another wake state day after that. Life is a dream, adventuresome, joyful.
All That Is does my to-dos
This week I noticed my food stores running low. Over the last few days I compiled a list of things I’d enjoy eating. That list included ripening tomatoes and kale from my garden. All That Is, over this week, inspired other list items while also inspiring when where and how these items would fill my fridge. This morning I’m playful and eager, rather than head-down and determined, as I would be were I still in the 9-to-5 grind.
My Heirloom Tomatoes Ripening
My Mini Tomatoes doing the same.
So much life richness happens every moment since I chose living Positively Focused, which means living life’s dream, living on purpose, putting spirituality first and foremost. Describing that richness in words dries it out like turning juicy, mouthwatering beef into tough, dry jerky. Life’s beautiful, joyful experience wherein I play with myself (All That Is) in wonder-filled Co-creation defies description.
My diligent clients gradually get this. When their life gets this good, this fun and when love gets this constant and unwavering, none of them want to go back living and loving the way they once did.
I know the feeling.
The work-focused, American Dream lifestyle, lived on clock time with most of the day spent in jobs worked for money and vacuous sleep states where the sleeper sleeps oblivious to nonphysical’s grandeur, interests me not.
What I live now makes that life an absurdity, an abomination, a Christian’s hell right here on earthly heaven.
Here In Heaven
A housemate asked what I do for income. I gave an insincere, dishonest answer about about my projects. I don’t do my projects for money. I don’t do anything for money anymore. I create heaven; life fills in around that.
I live my life according to the great masters, finding glory in creating reality, glorifying All That Is as an integral component of creating life. It’s fun, living Positively Focused. There I find joy and satisfaction nearly moment-by-moment, heaven lived right here, where spiritual and material stand synonymous with one another. There, money comes as everything else: my creation, to the degree I’m ready, not because of something I do.
I “do” consistent with what I “be”. Then I “have” consistent with that. I be a spiritual being, sharing my love of living, of physical and nonphysical, with others so they may leave behind their alarm clocks.
I have life consistent with that. Being, doing then having. That’s the formula.
Most people live the other way around. They can’t be what they want until they have what they want. And they believe they can’t have what they want until they do something to get it.
I know better.
I could write it wasn’t easy getting here. But it was easy. My Positively Focused perspective transforms once hard moments into joyful adventures and fun times. As I change my present moment experiences through being Positively Focused, past and future change too. “Hard” becomes easy and fun, life gets easy.
Same with my relationship to money. I stopped pursuing it. It now pursues me, All That Is in a body on Earth, expressing freedom that is All That Is, for the fun, the expansion of that, and the joy inherent in it. I’m happy. Happy as a flower.
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Prospective clients sometimes ask about what client sessions are like. Some wonder what I do with clients. Let’s take that last question first.
I provide context where clients get clear about who and what they are. In that clarity, they find what I found in my own clarity: That they create their life experience ongoingly.
When they find that, life takes a turn. It becomes fulfilling, fun, fantasical seeming, although it’s not fantastical, it’s just how life works when Positively Focused.
Gradually clients enter their creative powers while learning, or re-learning how their creative powers work. They find happiness, freedom and joy.
I show clients their power and how to get it through a mystical experience that feels like a conversation.
Now the first question:
What are client sessions like?
Client sessions are conversations where I share insights about what my clients talk about. The insights open greater awareness, both for clients and for me. Since I give clients access to me through text and email as well as our in-person sessions, I can share an example of how a session sounds.
The following is an email from a client who lives with his wife. Married many years, Clifton (not his real name) now wants out. He wants out because he finds his situation, including his wife Margo (not her real name either), intolerable.
Behind Clifton’s perceptions are belief constellations creating his intolerable situations, including Margo. Clifton is on his eighth session. Already he’s seen seemingly extraordinary shifts in his wife. Only they are not extraordinary.
By learning how to create his reality on purpose, Clifton has created a new-to-him version of Margo and a new-to-him version of their marriage. Clifton wants his freedom. But he knows he can’t have that until he makes peace with his current reality.
Being Positively Focused does that. It also makes his experience of his changing reality more fun, as you’ll read from this email exchange. Clifton gave me permission to share this exchange provided I remove identifying details. The bolded sections are Clifton’s comments, with mine following.
It’s the dreading one feels liberated from
So, I paid my income taxes today. Almost $4500. I had been dreading it and still haven’t filled out a return (though now I have REAL motivation to do so, ha ha), and was thinking , “Send them a crumb” — which is how I’ve done it for years. Throw the wolves a bone now and again and they’ll back off for a while (until they get hungry again). This year, practically at the last minute, I threw them the whole carcass.
It was liberating. I realize that I’ve always felt “liberated” (at least temporarily) whenever I am able to pay these creditors off at the calends (first of the month), and then I don’t have to worry about it anymore. Gives one a feeling of power.
It’s interesting, isn’t it, how something “dreaded” once done turns “dread” into “liberation”. Remember what emotions are about. Then ask yourself: what is it I feel liberation from? Is it really the taxes? Or is it the “dreadful” feeling, which indicates something important, and when freed from that you connect with something that feels comparatively liberating and powerful? Interesting thing to consider.
I have $50,000 tied up, but currently collecting nine percent annual interest compounded, some gold coins and another $10,000 currently tied up in the van (I cleaned it up and put a “For Sale” sign on it, but have yet to put an ad on Craigslist)
Most of the day was spent in that “Joy/Freedom” space. I had a good piano lesson with Sergi (graduate of a music academy in the old Soviet Union – can’t recall which, but it was a prestigious one). Earlier that day, I had been looking at a very wide screen monitor, 2nd hand at a local computer store. The store owner called me and informed be the price was almost $400 – more than I cared to pay, and I politely told him so and thanked him for getting in touch. I could have, of course – but I feel I should be spending those dollars on other things. Anyway, sure enough, I had a “hunch” on the way home and stopped at Goodwill. Found a working 48-in. TV that will double very nicely as an entertainment screen and a computer monitor. Price – $50. I liked that a whole lot better than $400. And it’s bigger. Yes, the stand’s a bit wobbly (probably why it was given away), but I imagine that’s just a matter of tightening a screw or two.
Nice job following the hunch. Life is an adventure, or can be, when one connects with All That Is and allows it to lead one to all one wants. It also becomes treasure hunt-ish. Who knows what lies around the next bend or building? And, the best footing from which to play the adventure is in “Joy/Freedom”. Absolutely.
Everyone seeks internal connection on their way…
Also feels good to me to reuse and/or repurpose something. That includes composting. I am not a fan of gardening (one source of conflict between Margo and I), but at least composting is a good way to make use of food that has “gone off” and would otherwise be wasted.
See the differing interests between you and Margo as wonderful sources of both joy and variety. Joy in that what you love you love and what she loves she loves…and you both get the same thing from both your loves: connection with your Broader Perspective.
Variety in that, in the relief of your partner’s passion, you, rather than being turned off by that, can turn instead (turn the other cheek) to YOUR passion and feel exactly what she feels when she’s tending to her plants: connection, flow, fun, exuberance.
Then, perhaps, you can feel appreciation – not conflict – when you turn back to what she enjoys, knowing she’s getting from her passion the same thing you get from yours and so your passion and hers are not all that dissimilar.
Not that it matters, or maybe it does – but I was in the market for a large monitor because as a composer, I often work with very large scores – and it is tremendously helpful to see as much of it as possible. Not practical on small monitors.
That you are “in the market” matters. You’re on your way…you’ve been on your way, but also have been resisting the “way”…to your dreams. The monitor is a manifestation – a sign post – indicating your waywardness. I use that word not in it’s traditional definition, which is negative, but in a new way, indicating “toward your way”. The way you connected with that TV indicates your “compliance” with your Broader Perspective.
And just as you were compliant [in such a way you realized previous, important manifestations] and now this manifestation, there will be many more instances of delight on your way….which is why life never creates wham-bang manifestations that happen in an instant like magic. Instant manifestation happens in nonphysical. But in the world of manifested things, All is set up so you can enjoy and savor the JOURNEY towards the destination. Each moment is a realization. The more you come into this conversation, the clearer your awareness and the more you’ll see this statement’s accuracy.
Most don’t see manifestation evidence because they don’t know what it looks like
This week, I also had the impulse to add something to an unrelated tweet [on Twitter]. Some actor had put himself out there, advising any directors or producers of his availability and experience. I retweeted and added that if anyone was looking for a great film composer, please consider me – and added links to samples of my work on YouTube. A couple of people retweeted it…usually, I don’t hold out much hope for these sort of things, but one never knows…trying to stay open to the possibilities.
This is a great example of your mixed energies. You don’t hold out much hope, but at the same time you “never know”. So you took action based on hope/who knows…and you saw a tiny manifestation of desire (that someone retweeted the tweet) outweighing your disbelief [expressed as “don’t hold out much hope”. Most miss these instances of evidence. Now you know it’s more evidence of you on your way. Nice.
Like the double recliner I bought for what I plan to be my “apartment/suite.” I sleep best in a recliner, which are typically for one — but when I saw it, I started thinking, “Hmmm…what if I get lucky?” Wouldn’t want to live with someone in that space (it’s pretty small), but it could be a nice place to entertain… 😆
Enjoy this unfolding process right up until you wake one morning with someone beside you and you get how you manifested them as you manifested the recliner! Objects, people, circumstances…the entire Universe: at your command.
Margo and I have been getting on better, I think. Monday evening, she apologized for being short with me earlier, but she had been feeling poorly (infected insect bites) and just wanted to do the Garbot thing (“I vant to be alone!”) I told her I felt her pain and understood completely – but in the future, please just come out and say that. I’ll respect it. (Actually, I’m glad to, ha ha)
I’m sure you would be happy to respect it. Isn’t it nice to see the movement forward with her? And didn’t it confirm our conversation about her that whenever someone appears upset with you, it’s never about you? It’s about THEM. ALWAYS.
Their connection (or rather their LACK of connection) to their Inner Being…that’s always the source of negative emotion. So next time you can know…and accept…and then run for the hills, when she indicates disconnection through ornery emotional expression!
Her infection and current state of well-being is also why I am yet again postponing telling her we need to get a divorce. Yes, because I think we have grown in different directions and neither of us are happy in the relationship the way we should be. Officially however, it is for financial reasons.
I have consulted with lawyers and financial advisers, and they basically say the same thing – I will be better able to provide for her if she is not my legal spouse. There is nothing illegal about it, couples often do it because one needs disability payments and it is impossible for one spouse to totally support the disabled one. Also true if they continue to cohabit. I knew someone who continued to live with his ex. And of course, we haven’t shared a room for years – and soon, I’ll have a whole space, complete with kitchen and bath, to myself. I have put this off for way too long. And I need to do it like, yesterday. But she’s feeling bad right now, and she’s not terribly stable in general. I am afraid for her.
“Fear” is an emotion. Fear for another indicates you, looking at another and seeing that person differently from how your Broader Perspective sees that same person. Yes, there are aspects of reality you think confirm the “truth” of what you think might happen if she were on her own. And, your strong fear indicates you creating a reality in which you get to witness her being exactly as you are creating her.
And…there’s another version of her you could draw to you and so experience. The same way you’ve done with her and her disconnection caused from insect bites. You are allowing more of the person you know her to be to shine through. But for now, it’s prudent to proceed on this path. It is, for both of you, the path with the least angst. Always a good idea: following that path.
Everything you want is right on your path
Eventually, I really don’t want to be living under the same roof with her – but for now, I have been attempting to rebuild some kind of relationship so she knows she’s cared about and won’t have to worry about her basic needs and won’t be abandoned to fend for herself (at this point, it would be like abandoning a child).
Anyway – this is how I must present it. As a strictly financial decision. Nothing else changes. We continue going on as we have, living in the same house (which will continue to be community property). She remains my sole heir and beneficiary. She’ll be able to get disability payments and EBT and remain eligible for Medicaid.
The difference is, I’m a free man. Period. What I will do with that freedom or how it will play out, I have no idea, but I’m staying open. She’ll be free as well. Gods know, I’ve tried to encourage her in her writing, and mostly the way she relates to animals. If there was an office of Ambassador to the Animal World (or at least carnivores, bovines and equines), Margo would do the job better than anyone else I know.
All this is good stuff. Mahayana Buddhists would say you’re being her Bodhisattva in creating such a caring landscape for her. It is good as I know you feel good taking this path.
Encourage her in thought, but don’t voice them. Let her and her Inner Being come to the realization wherein she puts her passions into practice and from that she creates a whole new world where money comes into her life easily and swiftly.
Sometimes, I think she’d be happier with her brother, running his huge ranch cabin as a B&B, taking care of the horses and the sheep and the dogs and cats. It’s what she spends most of her time and energy on anyway (and she complains about it, but I usually tease her, “You know you love it!”) So that’s where things stand…I’ve asked that “Broader Perspective” of mine to let me know when the right moment to announce the divorce is. About all I can do at this point.
Yes. As with the saw, as with the TV, as with everything you want, this is the best path. Do so and watch how easy the conversation goes. The more experiences like these you have, the more convinced you’ll become that this is the only way you want to live: surprised and delighted. Which is how you knew your experience would be when you first decided to come into physical reality.
My 1:1 clients show how easy it is manifesting what they want. After just five sessions, the Universe demonstrated to KJ here how he creates his own reality, thereby getting what he wanted – a table saw – in the most delightful way.
I know this can be everyone’s reality. Connecting with one’s Broader Consciousness, one realizes life is supposed to be not only fun, but also include desire after desire being fulfilled. I show my clients how to have this kind of life.
Doing this is fun for me because I have this life. I love seeing the Universe, acting in concert with my Broader Consciousness, as it coordinates events so that everything I want comes into my reality. “Everything” includes clients who love this way of living, like KJ here, coming into my life so we can play together as we both get what we want.
It’s fun putting God to the test and watching God exceed my test expectations. That’s what happened this morning on my walk.
I know I am God in a human body. Don’t freak out reading that. Everyone is God in human bodies.
Sometimes it’s nice testing my godhood. It’s fun, and it assures me my desires are flowing easily into my life experience. Evidence abounds in that regard, but, every so often creating an event immediately tells me, yup! I’m doing it, I’m creating my reality.
The challenge with creating reality and the reason so many try this “manifestation business” and fail, is because specificity and focus are important. People who fail at creation don’t realize their “failure” actually is success. Here’s why.
If I want something really bad, that’s great, so long as I’m focused on what it is I want. It’s easy, though, in my focus on what I want, to instead focus on the opposite of what I want, which is the absence of what I want, or what I already have.
For example, say I want a new relationship and I’m in a relationship I don’t like. If I focus on all the things I don’t like about the relationship I have, and focusing there, I ask for a new relationship, I’m not going to manifest a new relationship. Instead, I’m going to manifest more of what I have: the relationship I’ve got.
I know I must turn my focus to what I want, not what I’ve got. I know I’ve done that by using my emotions as my guide. I know I’m getting what I want when I feel great in the now, the Moment of Becoming.
The Universe will deliver the essence of everything I ask for. Testing this assertion helps calibrate my focus so I know when I’m focusing on what I want instead of what I don’t. It’s a fun way of refining that important skill.
So that’s what I did this morning. I like testing God (that’s me) by using subjects I don’t have lots of desire about. It’s easier focusing when there isn’t a lot of momentum behind the desire itself. Here’s what I did:
I said I wanted to see a rabbit on my walk somewhere. I live in an urban neighborhood in Portland, Oregon. Houses and apartments and paved streets and alleys define my neighborhood. There aren’t a lot of wooded areas, so seeing a wild rabbit would be amazing. But I knew I can manifest anything I want if my desire is strong enough and, most importantly, my resistance to the desire is weak or non existent.
I focused on how it would feel seeing a rabbit. I held that image for a little over a minute, to get the creative momentum moving. In my imagination I saw the rabbit’s brown fur, its black eyes….I thought about petting the rabbit and how soft it would feel so long as it didn’t bite me 😂. That made me feel happy, a crucial indicator.
I’m clear All That Is delivers the essence of what ask. I know that often means delights beyond my specific ask. So it’s better asking generally rather than specifically because what comes can be missed if I’m too specific about what I want. So while I asked for a rabbit, what I focused on was the fur, the eyes and how it would feel to see something like that in my city.
Then I dropped it. I paid no attention to my request. I enjoyed my walk, the city, the morning air, the flowers and other people out walking.
It was a nearly four mile walk. Returning to the house where I live, I turned a corner one block from home and…not 20 feet in front of me….was a coyote. It looked at me with black eyes…and it had brown fur.
A Coyote a few steps right in front of me! In the middle of town!
Before I could snap a picture with my phone, it ran off around the corner, but as I got to the end of the block, it came running back around the corner. That’s when I got a video of her!
God passed! What a demonstration!
I know I am God in a physical body. I know I create reality through my interaction with it. My thoughts and emotions tell me what creations I’m creating. I share my experiences through this blog because the sharing is fun, but also to encourage others into their full creative potential so they can have as much fun as I’m having.
It really is fun creating reality. I love putting God to the test and then seeing how I exceed my own expectations.