Soul Mates Who Cause Us Pain Are The Best Teachers

Positively Focused questions and answers

I’ve added yet another running series “Q/A” to my blog. Here I answer questions I get through the internets. I share them here with you as they may help feel inspired to be more Positively Focused.

Someone asked: Why do we have soul contracts with people that will eventually end up hurting us, killing us, or destroying our mental health?

Answer: First, they aren’t really “contracts”…

Connections we have with others represent the energy stream that we are. It seems we are individuals living in separate bodies, but beneath that interpretation, which feels so, and is very real….beneath that lies the actual phenomena of All That Is: a stream of awareized energy that we all are, divided into categories or families, if you will, subdivided into yet more categories, organized according to “harmonics”…vibratory patterns of awareized energy distinguished and organized around timeless “core values” or “intents”.

These “soul contracts” as you describe them are such organizations. They aren’t hard and fast “pacts” like a compact, rather they are resonance patterns or harmonics that can be felt. That’s why they feel like “contracts”: inescapable, irresistible.

Ok, that’s the pretty theory. Now for the practical answer…that you might not enjoy reading. 😊

It’s all about more and better

No one hurts, kills or destroys us mentally or otherwise. That’s our doing. Each being with whom we have significant contact exists within us as an inseparable aspect of that unique organization stream I mentioned above, rising and falling in harmony with our own core intents.

They serve an extremely valuable purpose in our lives. They help us shape ourselves into our ideal self. That image we know ourselves to be in nonphysical, that we wish to express in physical through our core intents. This ultimately leads to our Charmed Life.

Ideally, these relationships focus us inward. There we find our invincibility and unconditional love…for ourselves, for others and for circumstances. In that love we find our stability from which we pursue and realize our wildest desires as deliberate creators, our Charmed Life, in other words. In realizing our desires, we transform physical reality in ways we knew we would before we choose to come here.

However…in many cases, such as the ones you describe with “eventually end up hurting us, killing us, or destroying our mental health”, instead of finding freedom, joy and unconditional love, we focus on aspects of these partners that seem to drive us crazy. In doing that, we create increasingly amplified versions of those things, react to them and in our reactions, amplify those things even more. In that way we create a downward spiral of increasingly negative created reality conditions.

The fury, the exasperation, the anguish, and, yes, the circumstances that end up looking like “hurting us, killing us, or destroying our mental health” are actually OUR creation. They are what happens when we don’t use those relationships they way they are meant: as catalyzers for inner exploration and awakening.

A personal example will help

For example, my ex wife was such a person. She was horrible in many ways and an angel in others. It took great effort to take my attention from what I perceived she was doing “to me” and put it on my inner reality. I knew finding within myself the unconditional love I wanted was key. Neither she, nor anyone else could give me that.

Standing there, in that unconditional love, I could allow her to be as she chose to be…even when she slept with other men. Even when she and her friends railed against me. Even when she filed for divorce.

Everything she did was positive. It all served a positive purpose for me. Getting the positive aspects in those situations required cultivating an unconditional, stable love for her and for myself. I know I succeeded because, as I wrote above, I found my resonance with my eternity, my invincibility, my Inner Being awareness and thus my enlightenment.

I remember one night, not long before the divorce was final, where she and I stood in her living room on the verge of actual physical violence. That’s how out of balance we both were. It never came to real blows, but it certainly could have.

We co-create enlightenment

The point of all this is, no one does anything to us, we do it to ourselves through the interpretations we make about what we observe and the reality borne from them. Most people don’t know that so their interpretations go unexamined.

Instead of owning their created realities, including outcomes of hurt, death and diminished mental health, and doing something productive about that, they blame their partner, soul mate, “twin flame” or whatever. When all the while that other person had the potential of being a catalyst for enlightenment.

We each create our realities. No one does that for us. But some people help facilitate our creative abilities, if we are responsible enough to accept the catalyzing stimulus flowing from the awareized energy stream that is at once us and our “soul mates”.

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