Sex is fun. Sex is more fun when you love yourself. Being Positively Focused creates self-love that knows no bounds. There, sex, even solo-sex, leaves knees weak, and libido highly satisfied.
My best sex ever happens when I’m by myself. Although I’m not by myself. My Broader Perspective is with me loving me as I love myself. When I have sex with myself, my entire Personal Trinity is there too. So it’s really an orgy đ. An orgy of ecstasy.
The last time I had sex with myself, it left me weak for hours. The passion, the joy, the LOVE was so abundant…sex with others just can’t compare.
It seems weird that our society considers self-pleasure sinful or weird or even secondary to giving one’s self to another. Often times we give ourselves in casual situations, as if giving ourselves means little. I used to think sex wasn’t sex if it happened alone. That’s “masturbation”…a very unsexy word if you ask me. Where’s the romance in “masturbation”?
“Masturbation”: society says: “Don’t touch that!”. They’re wrong! Touch it! (Photo by Charles Deluvio on Unsplash)
In my experience, joy of sex is off-the-charts when performed solo. That’s because through being Positively Focused, I’ve come to love my self.
My self-love knows no bounds. Why wouldn’t I be at the top of my list of people I want to have sex with? What’s more, knowing what I know, with weak-in-the-knees solo-sexual experiences part of my life now, why would I share myself with someone I hardly know, someone who likely is no where near as connected to themself as I am to me?
The tyranny of no connection
I get how desperation leads people to fucking almost anyone. So many people have no real connection with another. It’s rarer still that a person has a deep, real connection with themselves. Desperate to find connection, they look for it through the penis or vagina or other body parts of another, rather than finding the only source of unconditional, unbridled and ecstatic connection: with themselves.
It’s no surprise when sex amounts to “getting one’s rocks off”, or it gets stale after having sex with the same person over and over. Even someone you really (think you) love.
I’ve been there. I’ve done that.
And there I usually felt post-orgasm dissatisfaction. The more causal the experience, the more unsatisfying it was after the fact. It was fun during. But the aftermath…well, it was emotional aftermath.
Now I know better.
Casual sex with no connection gives momentary pleasure, but connection is better. Especially self-connection. (Photo by We-Vibe WOW Tech on Unsplash)
Fully accepting me and feeling good
Loving me means knowing me and accepting me. That means knowing and accepting what I like. I enjoy what I enjoy and the more I do it, and accept that I’m doing it and enjoying it, the more joy I get from it.
So many stories out there say what feels good is bad.
It’s the opposite people!
What’s good is good. What’s good leads you to more good. Follow that good-trail and before you know it, you’re in bliss…in bed, by yourself, yes, but also out in the world. Here’s the fringe bennie: when you’re chronically in bliss, you can’t help but meet blissful people. All those assholes? They can’t find you!
Why on earth do we have positive feelings for?
A client describes how being blissful causes old beliefs creating old realities to pale in comparison.
It’s deliciously mind-blowing
Accepting me happened over many years. Being Positively Focused helped a lot. I’m glad I’m here, loving myself in bed and while moving through my day. Nothing compares to that. No one else’s attention matters more to me than attention I pay to myself.
And in that selfishness, I discover doing things I want to do, having things I want to have and being happy…all come easily. Joyful ecstasy of the Charmed Life. It’s available to everyone. And it will make anyone weak in the knees.
This is part three of a three part series on how I created a life where I no longer have to work a job. It began when my wife gave me an ultimatum. What came after that was a wonderful unfolding culminating in where I am today: no longer working a job, money coming in easily with little effort on my part and a life filled with joyful moments of clarity, peace, and joy.
In this post Iâm going to describe what happened after starting work at the bridging job I created. I described how I created that job in part two.
A job let me live job-free
I went to work for this company. It was a wonderful time where I explored working for a very large successful Corporation again after working at Intel many years ago. This job was much more manual labor focused. I delivered packages around town in a truck.
I enjoyed this work. And I enjoyed working with people who typically take these kinds of jobs. I worked mostly in white-collar executive positions, wearing snazzy clothes in large offices. This opportunity opened my eyes to a different type of people. I had not had the opportunity to work alongside laborers, people who traded their labor for income. What I learned surprised me.
A picture of me at the wheel of my delivery vehicle while on my “bridging job.”
I wrote about many of these eye-opening experiences in this blog. Most fascinating is, when I look back on that job remembering how much fun I had, I also see how that job filled its purpose exactly as I designed it: as the bridging job that would take me from earning a living through a job, to having money flow easily into my life experience without working for it.
While working there, I changed old beliefs that had me tied to wanting jobs. Beliefs such as âa job says a lot about your self worthâ, and, âworking for a big company carries a lot of statusâ, and âmaking money says a lot about who you areâ. Using the Positively Focused approach I soothed these old beliefs so the reality I wanted as my life became the life I have: one where none of these beliefs exist and I live job-free.
Happiness creates opportunity
So it was no surprise to me that shortly after the start of 2020, rumblings among the permanent staff indicated there might likely be layoffs coming. Our jobs were seasonal, but the permanent staff suggested here and there that our jobs might become permanent.
The rumors caused tremendous upset among my fellow drivers. For many, this job was all they had. Others hoped this delivery jobs were ground-floor opportunities to better, permanent jobs.
I was eager for whatever was going to happen. I knew what was going to happen would serve me best. I was not at the whim of this company: I was creating my reality. Not them.
So during my time delivering packages, I reveled in the experience. I immersed myself in the process. I figured out ways to improve and make more efficient the process. I gave that information to my manager who forwarded it to her manager. The management team was excited about what I had written. They gave me kudos for doing so.
I found myself really enjoying this work. I enjoyed the physicality of it. I enjoyed being out on my own. I enjoyed exploring parts of the city I hadn’t explored before. All in all, I enjoyed this job. I did not see it as a job, because it wasnât for me. Instead it was a âbridging opportunityâ toward the reality I was creating.
Finally, just after the new year, rumors intensified that layoffs were coming. Instead of coming in the following week, I decided to take all the sick leave I accumulated. While on leave, I turned my attention toward my desires: to move through the rest of 2020 with money flowing into my life without me working a job.
The week I took off, the company terminated all seasonal driver positions. Everyone arrived at their shift and got their termination letter. My fellow drivers wrote me text messages upset about how they felt the company treated them.
They were really frustrated and annoyed and feeling disrespected that they showed up for work only to be dismissed.
Not me.
I was at home luxuriating in my bed, reveling in the future that was flowing into my life.
Me again in the delivery driver vehicle compound.
Then it happened
Several days later, I received a letter notifying me that I have been laid off. But that was no concern because I was enjoying my life.
Thatâs because, just before receiving the letter that I was laid off, A person who follows my passion project called Copiosis wrote me a message on WhatsApp. He said he wanted me to be able to put more time on that project, and was sending me cryptocurrency in an amount sufficient to pay for my living expenses for the rest of the year.
I was not expecting this specifically. The message floored me. I knew something like this would happen. I just didnât know what the details of the happening would looked like.
You can imagine my delight upon receiving that message. But what really excited me was how much bitcoin he gave me. True to this person’s word, the money in cryptocurrency he sent me paid my rent and living expenses for the rest of the year.
In other words, the universe coordinated the cooperative components â leaving my wife, creating a job, an apartment (which I may write about), and this easy transition to a jobless life â consistent with my desires: living without a job, and, having money come in without me having to do anything for it.
Whatâs interesting is, the same person gave me another cryptocurrency gift at the end of 2020. That particular gift came just as Bitcoin took off on a months-long rally. Every month thereafter, the rally increased the value of the amount he gave me by 1/3. That was enough to generate enough cash to last me throughout 2021.
Meanwhile, more Positively Focused clients came, eager to learn how to create their reality. Today my basic living expenses are covered by the cryptocurrency gift combined with the amount of money my clients gift me in return for the transformed lives they get.
Wait a minute…
You may ask: arenât you working when you serve these clients or when you do things for Copiosis? My answer: not at all.
Because when Iâm giving time to my clients, I’m Positively Focused. Being Positively Focused, especially being Positively Focused with another person, doesnât feel at all like âworking”. It’s play, it’s joyful and it’s fun.
It is filled with laughter, with epiphanies, insights and realizations, all of which lead to more and better, not only for my clients, but for me too.
Copiosis is a fun, joyful adventure. It’s not a job. I see it as a playground where I get to practice what I preach in Positively Focused.
So by serving my clients I am creating a more and better life for myself. Thatâs not working. Thatâs enjoying the reality I am creating, realities I am co-creating alongside my clients. Copiosis is like that too.
Today, as I sit in bed dictating this blog post, all my expenses, including enough for entertainment and pleasure expenses, are covered without me having to do anything that looks and feels like a âjobâ. I created exactly the reality that I had intended as I was leaving my wife.
I should add, that anyone can have this life. Anyone can create any reality they want. This is what I show my clients how to do. This is how life is meant to be.
We all came into the world not to mimic what other people are doing. We’re here to make real worlds of our own design matching our wildest desires.
Nothing else feels as satisfying as that. The more I live my life consistent with my wildest desires, the better I feel and the better life gets.
Thereâs more to come. And Iâm eager for all of it.
This is part two of a three part series I’m sharing detailing how a series of major life experiences left me more convinced than ever that being Positively Focused leads to the best life possible. Part one shared the awesome story of my divorce. This part describes what happened next.
Recall my soon-to-be-ex-wife gave me my marching orders as an ultimatum: leave my house by the end of the month. I had a small amount of money and no stable income. I had no place to live, roughly three weeks to find one, no car and very little other possessions.
But I was happy. More happy than I had been in a long time. I was happy and I had my Inner Being.
I knew that’s all I needed. I knew anything was possible. I looked forward to that possibility….but.
What I needed now was an income
At the time my dominant belief was “income comes from jobs”. Today I don’t believe that at all. Income comes in any way I believe it comes, not just from a job, and that’s what’s happening in my life these days.
Back then, though, faced with needing an income, I didn’t believe what I believe now. I needed a job. I believed in my Inner Being though, and I wanted to use this experience to further strengthen my belief, to turn my belief into knowing that my Inner Being hadmy back.
My Inner Being at that time told me a job was the best way to income because my dominant beliefs wouldn’t allow any other income to come my way.
But it also said I can look at any job that comes, not as a permanent thing, but as a bridging job that would allow me to bridge my belief and my desire.
My beliefs told me income comes from jobs. But my desire at the time was “I want a reality where money just comes. It’s not dependent on working.”
That eventually happened, but back then, two years ago, I couldn’t jump straight from believing “income comes from jobs” to “income just comes”.
I needed an income while I changed my reality. Thus, the bridging job.
I did it my way
But I wasnât going to get a job the normal way. I wanted the job through a Positively Focused approach. Having that happen meant remembering five key points:
Creation rarely happens in an instant. It happens through steadily increasing momentum. The result I want is immediate in non-physical, but, materialization takes a while.
By the time I know I desire something, it’s done. But its materialization depends on me receiving messages leading me to the doneness. If I’m not open, or in tune, it gets delayed.
I know I’m ready when I’m consistently Positively Focused. That’s because my Experience of Origin and my Reality of Origin are pure positive energy. Being in tune means experiencing physical reality the same way I experience non-physical reality: with as little resistance possible. Resistance is lowest when Positively Focused.
Looking for the result slows it down. This is important. Looking for the manifestation puts energy on its absence. Manifestations happen quickest when I’m not looking for them.
Early signs of manifestations feel like a thought interruption. I know when I’ve received the message when a thought happens that I’m not thinking. Meditation helps condition my mental atmosphere so it isn’t noisy. In that peaceful mind-state, such messages stand out from ordinary thought.
Aware of these five points I knew creating my bridging job could be easy. I wanted to be the evidence of that.
Of course, that’s what happened.
One day, after receiving my wife’s ultimatum, I went for a walk. While out there, I wasn’t thinking about getting a job. I was thinking about my resistance about getting one.
I didn’t want a job that would consume all my energy like professional jobs I’ve had.
I wanted capacity after work to work on my projects.
I didn’t want to get up early to go to work and spend my mornings (my valuable creative time) working for someone else.
Then I caught myself. I realized I wasn’t Positively Focused thinking about what I didn’t want. I needed to think about what I did want.
So I thought instead about how a job matching everything I wanted would feel. I dropped my criteria about hours, intensity and all that. Instead, I focused on how it would feel getting a satisfying job.
I had no idea what kind of job that might be. Or how much it would pay. I was a blank slate. Fertile ground for my Inner Being.
Matching my physical reality with my Inner Reality is the best way to hear impulses from my Inner Reality. So while I walked, I thought “how would my Inner Being feel about me having the perfect job?”
What came to me was:
“Triumphant, appreciative, jubilant and joyful”.
That was the message I wanted. It came out of the question. It wasn’t me thinking that thought. The thought came on its own.
Now that I received that feeling impulse, I next put attention on these emotions. Jubilance, appreciation, triumph and joy…I let them build. The longer I lingered on them, the better and better I felt.
Soon I felt great, over-the-top positivity. And how could I not? Jubilance, appreciation, triumph and joy feel great, right?
After three minutes…
The name of the company I would work at appeared in my head. I knew it wasn’t me thinking that name because my thoughts were on the good feelings. Besides, that company name wouldn’t have come into my head. I rarely think about it.
Nothing else followed the name of that company. It came so suddenly, then it was gone. I was thrilled and fascinated. I felt no resistance at all. It happened just like my Inner Being said it would.
Eager and excited, I continued my walk.
At the end of my walk, I sat alongside a river’s edge. I pulled out my phone and looked up this company. Was I surprised to see they were hiring? Nope.
The view from where I sat by the river.
I applied on the spot. In an hour, I got a hire date contingent on next steps. First I had to video record one-minute answers to three questions. Later that week, I had to pee in a cup. The proctor told me supposing no disqualifying indications, I would start on my start date.
And that’s what happened. In less than a week, I went from wondering about a job, to getting one. No resume prep. No searches. No interviews. Only a piss test.
As surprising as how that job happened was how much I enjoyed working that job. It was fun. I enjoyed people I worked with. And when the end of the bridging job came, it came in ways equally as amazing as it started.
But that’s part three
That job offered everything I needed at that time; enough income to cover all my basic needs plus a little spending money, and shift work allowing ample morning time to meditate and work on my projects. The work itself was easy and left lots of mental leeway to practice being Positively Focused.
It also was energizing, physically rigorous and attention-consuming work so my 8-hour shifts flew by.
Getting the job this way showed how powerful being Positively Focused is. It also showed how faith is unnecessary. Tangible evidence is overwhelming if one looks where it is. Looking there lowers resistance, which makes manifesting easier.
Next time, in part three, I share how I easily got my place to live and then what happened when I came to the end of my bridging job.
It’s fun watching my life shape to my Positively Focused thoughts. It feels wonderful seeing my positive thoughts legitimize themselves by creating realities consistent with them.
I know all thoughts do that, of course. Any thought thought long enough will draw to the thinker evidence proving the thought “true”. When enough evidence gets created, the thought no longer is a thought. It becomes reality, then a belief. The belief fades into the background of my awareness. Life then becomes “how it is.”
That’s accurate to say for any thought that has become a belief. Which is why I don’t concern myself with people who disagree with me about what I share through Positively Focused.
Plenty of people out there think “you create your reality through your thoughts” is a bunch of hogwash. But they don’t understand the preceding paragraphs. They don’t know their thought “it’s hogwash” became a belief long ago and is out of their awareness now that it has become a belief, and attracts evidence of its “truth”.
That’s why I don’t spend time trying to convince someone “you create your reality through your thoughts”…unless they’re a client. đ
Clients are different
A client is open. They’re willing to consider new possibilities. They want to believe. That makes seeing around existing beliefs more likely.
What I love about what I do with my clients is this: It’s easy for me to say “you create your reality through your thoughts” and point to my life, as full of evidence as it is. It’s also easy for people to dismiss such evidence.
But as more clients come to Positively Focused, create extraordinary lives as my current clients are, it gets harder and harder to deny that something different is happening.
Nearly all my clients are extraordinarily excited about their lives. They’re engaged and happy. They’re having fun discovering what I’ve discovered. And in their discovery I find joy too.
Client work then becomes play. It’s a win-win for both parties. My clients enjoy Charmed Lives. I enjoy watching that. And I grow a larger and larger, undeniable body of evidence that Universe loves us all and gives us all for that which we ask.
Iâve added yet another running series âQ/Aâ to my Positively Focused blog. Itâs…well…about answering questions I get through the internets and sharing those answers with others as they may help others feel inspired and more connected to the God they are.
Question: Is this correct for manifestation? I’d light colored candles assigned in each day while I meditate, script my manifestations, do a novena until the (small) candle melts. Novena is for my wish too and protection in case evil spirit is around my candle.
Answer: In short, youâre trying too hard. But if this way you describe conjures positive feelings in you, keep it up.
That said, there is a âcorrect wayâ for manifestation. Itâs any way that feels good.
You see, you are a manifesting machine. Your body is a manifestation youâre manifesting on an ongoing basis. Do you have to âdo a novena until the candle melts.â to keep your body here?
Your thoughts are manifestations flowing to you incessantly. Do you have to meditate and script manifestations for the thoughts that come to you?
When you moved your fingers to write your question, you were manifesting. Did you need to worry about evil spirits while creating that question?
You canât help but manifest!
The reason why you do your body and your thoughts (as examples) so easily that you donât know you are doing these things is because you pay them no mind and in doing so you donât get in the way of your own, eternal, powerful ability.
When you walk through your created reality and put your attention on something, that, alone gets the manifestation process going. Looking at something, you know whether you like what youâre looking at or you not, right?
Which one becomes your present now (in the future) depends on what you do between the time you choose and the time what you choose shows up. Most people donât understand this, so they think they have to do processes and meditations and lighting candles and performing magic.
Do them if they feel good
You can do those things, and if they feel good keep doing them.
By the way, âevilâ is not a thing. Neither are âevil spiritsâ. But if you believe they are, then they are. Why? Because you create your realityâŚ.ALL OF IT.
Hereâs a simple, accurate template for creation:
You decide what you want by realizing what you donât want. This happens automatically
Immediately after step one, what you want becomes a reality.
You must find a way to line up with what youâve created. When you doâŚ
Youâll have it.
Thatâs it.
The problem is, most people spend all their time in step one, trying to make it happen. While doing that they are creating realityâŚ.it just keeps looking like their present reality, with nothing really changing, because they donât move on to the rest of the steps!
But you donât need me or anyone else telling you all this. Life can be fun, rewarding and fulfilling. You can have a life where it fills in with everything you want. Be easy and donât take âmanifestingâ so seriously. Itâs supposed to be fun.
Click here to learn about probable realities, how you form them and how they relate to belief constellations.
Editors note: This true story comes from a client who is six months into their 1:1 membership. It shows how connecting to one’s Inner Being transforms every part of life, making it an ideal romp of ease, fun and joy.Note how every step of the way leads to more and better. Every day is like this when Positively Focused. Italicized paragraphs have been added for context.
My mom and I are moving. She canât get her beloved grand piano into the new house we’re moving into, sheâs going to have to sell it, and buy an upright piano. She contacted a specialist who came and valued it at ÂŁ5000, but from that, he would take commission and the cost of restoration.
This didnât seem right to me and I had the thought âIâm sure this piano is worth more.â
A story is nothing more than a thought or a belief you’re thinking at any moment. Learning how to tie your stories to how you feel can lead to incredible life experiences. This client understood how to tie her stories to her emotions. What happened next happened because she knows what to do when a positive story comes to her.
Positively Focused makes connections clear
So a few days later I was shopping in my favourite wholefood and organic cleaning and beauty products shop. It is run by Jess â a friendly and enterprising South African man who Iâve always felt an attraction to.
I went in there to buy some cheap little Christmas gifts and got chatting as I normally do. Somehow the topic of music came up and he revealed that in a former life he had been a master Piano restorer, technician and salesman for the prestigious Kensington piano company in London.
Notice the tie between her previous experience with the former piano business operator and this former one. Note how connected the two experiences were…
He also revealed that he had left because of the underhand way piano businesses operate, and he had gone solo, building up an extensive and prestigious client base, including royalty, Yoko Ono and the Royal Academy of music in London.
I told him about my mumâs piano and after a few questions he said to me âIâm sure itâs worth a lot more.â I asked him if he would come and value it for a fee.
Knowing that I was also in the music business, he said to me âwell I know everything there is to know about acoustic pianos. But Iâm in the market for a vintage Fender Rhodes or Wurlitzer piano, and I know nothing about electric pianos. If you could get me a good electric piano from the 70s era, Iâll come and do the valuation for free.â
I put a post on Facebook, and within an hour or two my uncle, who happens to run a piano tuning and keyboard hire business, contacted me to let me know he had one available. Iâve put Jess and my uncle in contact and it turns out they both worked with the same piano restorer colleague many years ago.
Whenever two people come together, it’s always for mutual benefit. Whether trans-attracted or transgender, when you meet someone, mutual benefit always takes place. That doesn’t mean you experience the benefit, even though it did happen. In most situations, people miss benefits they got. It’s easy to see the benefits though when you know how stories create reality.
It gets betterâŚ
Two days ago Jess came and valued my mumâs piano and has already found a buyer for it for ÂŁ10,000, double the original valuation. No need for restoration, and no commission.
Because this client waited and let the Universe orchestrate her outcomes, she got a wonderful, delightful outcome….but it did get better…
This morning I picked up the Wurlitzer from my uncle who happened to be in London on a piano tuning job ⌠Jess and my uncle have not yet spoken about money, however Jess told me that he has some very lucrative business opportunities and propositions for my uncle.
When I picked up the keyboard this morning, my uncle asked me what price he should sell it for. I gave him my opinion but added he might want to consider Jessâs business proposition before charging him anything at all. If he gives you some really lucrative work, I said, maybe youâd like to give him the keyboard for free. He agreed.
The keyboard comes without legs. One or two Facebook posts later, I had sourced same exact model legs and could be in receipt of them within days. My plan is to give them to Jess for free. They only cost about ÂŁ200, but we are making an extra ÂŁ5000 on the basis of his goodwill.
So Jess gets to pass on his business and he gets a free keyboard. We get a free valuation and double our money! And I get to broker satisfaction for everyone!
Yippeee!
This client’s life increasingly includes, on the daily, experiences like this. Your life happens this way too. Want to learn to see your life that way? Contact me.
This is a positively focused series called “journal entries” for when I experience something I write about in my journal I think others might benefit from reading. This is a continuation of that series.
From my journal – Sunday, Jan. 9, 2021
I know I perceive All That Is in all dimensions. I also know I project myself into this physical reality, into this “avatar” humans call a “body”, to experience this time space reality. So perception through the avatar occurs limited.
But it occurs limited only because I learned to believe it to be that way.
The more Positively Focused I become, such limits melt away. Like molten wax flees the flameâs brightness and the heat of its intensity, these limits flow out of my awareness. In their place, my unlimited perceptive capacity reveals itself and I see with the mind and eyes of god…in human form.
I love knowing this is possible. I love life experience even more as it fills with moments of increasing capacity, increasing awareness, increasing clarity, certain of my eternal nature, certain of my boundless perception and certain as I witness all my desires fulfilling themselves.
Iâve added yet another running series âQ/Aâ to my blog. Here I answer questions I get through the internets. I share them here with you as they may help feel inspired to be more Positively Focused.
Someone asked: Why do we have soul contracts with people that will eventually end up hurting us, killing us, or destroying our mental health?
Answer: First, they arenât really âcontractsââŚ
Connections we have with others represent the energy stream that we are. It seems we are individuals living in separate bodies, but beneath that interpretation, which feels so, and is very realâŚ.beneath that lies the actual phenomena of All That Is: a stream of awareized energy that we all are, divided into categories or families, if you will, subdivided into yet more categories, organized according to âharmonicsââŚvibratory patterns of awareized energy distinguished and organized around timeless âcore valuesâ or âintentsâ.
These âsoul contractsâ as you describe them are such organizations. They arenât hard and fast âpactsâ like a compact, rather they are resonance patterns or harmonics that can be felt. Thatâs why they feel like âcontractsâ: inescapable, irresistible.
Ok, thatâs the pretty theory. Now for the practical answerâŚthat you might not enjoy reading. đ
It’s all about more and better
No one hurts, kills or destroys us mentally or otherwise. Thatâs our doing. Each being with whom we have significant contact exists within us as an inseparable aspect of that unique organization stream I mentioned above, rising and falling in harmony with our own core intents.
They serve an extremely valuable purpose in our lives. They help us shape ourselves into our ideal self. That image we know ourselves to be in nonphysical, that we wish to express in physical through our core intents. This ultimately leads to our Charmed Life.
Ideally, these relationships focus us inward. There we find our invincibility and unconditional loveâŚfor ourselves, for others and for circumstances. In that love we find our stability from which we pursue and realize our wildest desires as deliberate creators, our Charmed Life, in other words. In realizing our desires, we transform physical reality in ways we knew we would before we choose to come here.
HoweverâŚin many cases, such as the ones you describe with âeventually end up hurting us, killing us, or destroying our mental healthâ, instead of finding freedom, joy and unconditional love, we focus on aspects of these partners that seem to drive us crazy. In doing that, we create increasingly amplified versions of those things, react to them and in our reactions, amplify those things even more. In that way we create a downward spiral of increasingly negative created reality conditions.
The fury, the exasperation, the anguish, and, yes, the circumstances that end up looking like âhurting us, killing us, or destroying our mental healthâ are actually OUR creation. They are what happens when we donât use those relationships they way they are meant: as catalyzers for inner exploration and awakening.
A personal example will help
For example, my ex wife was such a person. She was horrible in many ways and an angel in others. It took great effort to take my attention from what I perceived she was doing âto meâ and put it on my inner reality. I knew finding within myself the unconditional love I wanted was key. Neither she, nor anyone else could give me that.
Standing there, in that unconditional love, I could allow her to be as she chose to beâŚeven when she slept with other men. Even when she and her friends railed against me. Even when she filed for divorce.
Everything she did was positive. It all served a positive purpose for me. Getting the positive aspects in those situations required cultivating an unconditional, stable love for her and for myself. I know I succeeded because, as I wrote above, I found my resonance with my eternity, my invincibility, my Inner Being awareness and thus my enlightenment.
I remember one night, not long before the divorce was final, where she and I stood in her living room on the verge of actual physical violence. Thatâs how out of balance we both were. It never came to real blows, but it certainly could have.
We co-create enlightenment
The point of all this is, no one does anything to us, we do it to ourselves through the interpretations we make about what we observe and the reality borne from them. Most people donât know that so their interpretations go unexamined.
Instead of owning their created realities, including outcomes of hurt, death and diminished mental health, and doing something productive about that, they blame their partner, soul mate, “twin flame” or whatever. When all the while that other person had the potential of being a catalyst for enlightenment.
We each create our realities. No one does that for us. But some people help facilitate our creative abilities, if we are responsible enough to accept the catalyzing stimulus flowing from the awareized energy stream that is at once us and our âsoul matesâ.
The power of being Positively Focused shows up most when feeling negative emotions. The following true story shows what to do when one feels such emotions.
I woke Sunday morning to powerful, clear dreams, but also felt negative emotion. It doesn’t matter what the emotions were about. What matters is what I did.
Hereâs what I wrote in my journal in response to this realization. Doing something like this anytime negative emotion shows up makes a ton of difference:
Right this moment I am at the same time present to my powerful expanding self and my currently active beliefs.
I know the more I lean toward the first, not only do I create more of that, but the second soothes into its rightful place: subordinate to my dominant powerful desire. I appreciate therefore the combination, because in the combination I get to choose.
I get to choose leaning toward my desires
I get to choose focus, deliberate focus
I get to create a reality consistent with what I want
I know focusing feels really good as it does now
I know focusing on my desires is the gift the negative emotion brings
Therefore I appreciate the negative emotion
I know negative emotion was once positive belief
I can appreciate the negative emotion
I know the negative emotion is indicating beliefs I still hold are active
This is purposeful and good
I know those beliefs once served me
I can appreciate the negative emotion
I can appreciate the beliefs too
And as I sit here in my bed, first thing in the morning, I feel the power of my focus. I feel the shifting of the balance of my belief and desire.
I like what Iâve just done
It feels subtle but sure
I feel the shift from slight dominant negative focus to slight dominant positive focus
I appreciate that my positively focused practice allows me to recognize the subtle distinction
For now I can shift my entire reality experience toward more and better
This feels really good
This feels like positive emotion
âIâm feeling happierâ
But that statement still contains a little bit of negative emotion
My happiness is relative to my previous negative feelings
âI feel happyâ, feels better
It is focused specifically in the now, with no relation to the past
This is the work and I love it
My happiness now has turned to appreciation
Now my appreciation has turned into eagerness and passion
I love feeling eagerness and passion
Now my eagerness and passion has turned to love
I love feeling love.
So in this process I just went through, I received inspiration from previous awarenesses, which allowed me to know that the combination of negative belief and positive expectation will always be. For the combination allows an eternal being ensconced in the body, which is what I am, to choose.
To choose what? To choose whatâs next.
So much happened in the last four minutes doing this practice. I love how much better I feel now just by speaking these words
I love how good Iâm feeling
It feels really really good
It feels like joy
It feels like self transformation
If feels like fun
It feels like self love
I know the more I do this, the better my life gets. I also know the better my life gets, the better it can get, for there is no upper limit on how good things can be.
I feel so much better. I feel positively focused. Iâve literally changed my reality. I feel in love with life and in love with myself.
Being Positively Focused is a lot like being a Jedi in real life. I create my ideal versions of other people who then give me what I want when they realize what I want is what they want.
Nutshelling it: When I work through my Broader Perspective, my Inner Being talks to their Inner Being so that what I want occurs to them as what they want too.
A true story showing how this works.
I live in a house I share with three others. When I first moved in, the other three people were quiet and kept to themselves. The landlord showed me my space, “the basement suite” they called it.
Of course, it was perfect. It represented a fulfilled desire coming in perfect timing, as I wanted a new, quiet living space after my ex and I split.
Over several months these original three housemates moved out. Three new people replaced them. People I didn’t enjoy as housemates.
The first was a party boy. He enjoyed drinking, playing loud music and having people over for loud conversations.
The next person was an “adult child”. He had family of origin issues that showed up as screaming at the top of his lungs for no reason, using other people’s property without asking, getting offended at the slightest provocation and not cleaning up after himself. Oh, he also peed in the backyard!
The third person was even worse. He was an Adult Child of Alcoholics, muttered to himself and didn’t respect the landlord’s established norms for living there.
His replacement oddly enough, expected others to clean up behind him. He left things all over the house, let his food get moldy in the fridge, and would leave dishes and utensils on the front porch instead of taking them to the kitchen and washing them.
What’s interesting was each of these people reflected a dimension of my ex. While living with her I developed strong co-creative momentum with her. So strong a momentum, housemates who moved in after I did reflected that momentum. In other words, my Moment of Becoming and momentum brought housemates after me matching experiences I had with my ex.
My ex is from a family of alcoholics. Slight provocations triggered her too. She enjoyed playing her music loud while ignoring other people’s interests. Occasionally she cleaned up behind herself, but often would leave things right where she had them last. I tried a lot of things to change her (not a good idea at all I realize now). All my attempts made things worse.
I’m happier no longer there.
Obviously though my Belief Constellation still included thoughts about her. I know this because each house mate brought experiences and behaviors matching my ex, or rather matching beliefs I still had active about my ex. Were my experiences with my ex less active in my Belief Constellation, different people would show up. These new housemates were not random coincidence.
I know everything in my reality reflects back to me Belief Constellation content. That’s helpful knowing because I can do something with that knowledge. Not knowing what I know, life seems random and separate. It never is though. My thoughts and my reality always match.
So every housemate served me: Each showed me I still had beliefs worth changing. In changing them, I could get a better reality.
Before that though…
At first, I let myself get annoyed about my new housemates’ behaviors. I know emotional reactions are never about what’s happening in my physical reality, they’re always only about my connection with my Inner Being and that is all.
Saying “each new housemate was annoying” or “my new housemates made me annoyed” are complete, inaccurate distortions.
I also know what to do when I feel annoyance. I didn’t do that at first though.
At first I tried coaxing different behaviors out of them. I tried asking the slob to clean up after himself, which, of course, he refused. I asked the ACA dude to stick to the house norms. He told me to fuck off. I asked the party guy to be more quiet. He complained about me to the other housemates, which exacerbated my relationships with them. I asked the backyard pee-er to stop doing a lot of stuff. He got better, but still did things I didn’t like. The other housemates didn’t like it either.
Since direct action didn’t work, and my frustration was getting unbearable, I did the only thing under my control. I changed what I paid attention to, I let go, I surrendered.
It was a radical choice, an interesting sociological experiment. The only recent experience I had creating new people from existing people was with my ex. But that was indeliberate creation. Now, life presented me a huge learning opportunity: Learn to create people you want in life experience deliberately, it said.
So that’s what I did.
Surrender isn’t giving up. It’s realizing where power exists. Real effortless power comes through allowing Universe to bring me what I want instead of trying to make it happen myself.
People always reflect back to me what I believe. I’m creating them for my benefit. I know whatever thoughts I’m thinking that I’m ignoring for some reason will come clear through how people both show up and how they treat me. My expansion never ends, so learning opportunities never end either.
Life is best when I follow the inner knowing of my Broader Perspective. When doing that I realize people always reflect back to me my beliefs. (See the full illustrated post here).
So people in my life experience all are helpers, giving me feedback, as does everything else in my physical reality. This feedback tells me “Universe will bring me what I want when I let it.”
I let it through being Positively Focused.
I am feedback for others as well. With many years Positively Focused practice, I feel the pull of other people’s focus. Feeling that pull, sometimes it’s hard maintaining my own focus. I end up being someone less than I want to be. But I know when that happens, I’m matching that other person’s reality, and doing so, give them what they’re wanting to know, even if they don’t know that.
These days it’s easier being authentic, loving me while feeling others’ pulls. My Positively Focused practice has perpetual momentum now. Most of the time these days, I set the tone of an interaction. People shape to my pull instead of me shaping to theirs.
Not so when I was with my ex. Back then, when out in the world, I found it easy staying positive and excited about life. But then I’d come home and almost instantly feel my mood shift when I re-entered the persistent negative atmosphere she and I co-created.
I benefitted a ton from that marriage. She did too. For me, marriage helped me prioritize my Inner Being relationship. As a result, I’m living even more of a Charmed Life than I lived before.
I love how all relationships have that potential: they can amplify one’s focus on the one place unconditional love comes from: the relationship between one’s self and one’s Inner Being.
Things got interesting
So instead of trying to cajole my housemates into compliance, instead of trying to get them to stop doing what I didn’t like. I did what I show my clients: I focused instead on what I wanted. Then I let my Personal Trinity coordinate a new reality. One which included versions of my housemates that matched what I wanted.
What I wanted was a calm, quiet, peaceful place where people subordinated their behavior to the goals of a mutually beneficial, peaceful living space.
I knew, and know even more today, that through my Inner Being relationship, I can be, do and have anything I want. I knew I already created probable versions of my housemates, versions matching what I want. I knew my Inner Being held for me a living situation filled with such housemates.
My job: tune myself to that probable reality alive in my Belief Constellation, so it would emerge through my Moment of Becoming in to my physical reality.
Here’s what I did.
First I clarified in my mind what I wanted. I knew it was there in my belief constellation. I just had more momentum behind what I didn’t want (experiences similar to living with my ex) as a result of still thinking about my ex.
I thought thoughts about what it would look like living in my ideal living situation.
I thought about how my ideal housemates moved through the house and…
I thought about and focused on how peaceful, harmonious and quiet it was in my minds-eye version of my living situation.
By envisioning these, I knew I cued up that probable reality matching my ideal, my Charmed Life. But I needed something more. Something critical.
Early in Positively Focused practice, the practitioner strengthens their perceptive skills through feeling emotion. People feel emotions easier than vibration. Emotions let me know what vibration I’m tuned to. Vibration is early-stage manifestation. I needed to tune my vibration via my thoughts to my desired reality.
So while thinking about my ideal living situation, I focused more and more on how that situation felt. Then I amped up those feelings by focusing on them and riffing on emotions in the same vicinity:
It feels nice living in this ideal situation
It feels peaceful living here
It feels like harmony
It feels like peace
It feels satisfying
It feels like home
It feels joyful
It feels right
It feels good…
Next, I completely ignored what my current housemates did. When Slob left his dishes in the living room, or on the porch outside, I ignored it. When Family-of-origin peed in the backyard, or screamed “FUCK!” in the middle of the day, I ignored that too.
Then I took it up a notch. I ignored my housemates. Whenever they were in the common areas – the living room, the kitchen – I stayed in my room. If I was in the kitchen and one came in, I made sure I had my headphones in and listened to a podcast or music.
Then I amped it up further. This is a bit hard to explain. I lived in the house as though my ideal housemates already lived with me. I felt how good that felt. I reveled in their presence. I focused on how great the place would feel with them with me.
How I create other people in five easy steps.
Then awesome happened
The fist thing that happened was ACA moved out. Unbeknowst to me, he contacted the landlord saying he needed to move out ASAP. He said his counselor said living alone would be a better living situation for him.
Next, Slob and Family of Origin started getting on each others’ nerves. Family of Origin started enjoying the house being clean and tidy. He also improved around cleaning up after himself.
Problem (for him) was, Slob’s living habits started getting on his nerves. So Family of Origin pointed out more often things Slob was doing. Exasperated, Slob started looking for someplace else to live. In a month, he was gone!
Perhaps you’ve seen my pictures on my website, so you know I’m brown-skinned. All my housemates up to this point were of the dominant culture. So you can imagine my surprise when my landlord introduced me to ACA’s replacement, another person of color. Let’s call him Andre.
Not surprisingly, Andre told me and the landlord he was looking for a cleaner, quieter and more peaceful living situation, which was NOT where he lived before. He said he liked keeping to himself and was super-respectful. Having toured the house, he already recommended ideas on improving the living situation.
After he moved in, the whole character of the living situation changed. Andre shared a bathroom with Family of Origin and right away Andre put his foot down about how Family of Origin left hair all over the bathroom and hardly cleaned up after himself (I have my own bathroom).
Next the landlord introduced me, Family of Origin and Andre to Slob’s replacement, another person of color and a college student I’ll call Lorenzo. Like Andre, he expressed living in a respectful, quiet place because he’s studying full time from home. Lorenzo and Andre’s energy both transformed the house’s culture. Family of Origin mentioned feeling uncomfortable living with three people of color, this being the first time that ever happened.
Not long after Lorenzo moved in, I heard him and Family of Origin having a slightly tense conversation about race. I went upstairs to see what was up. They were discussing whether a person of color could be racist. It was an interesting conversation I joined with eagerness. It went well, but I could tell Family of Origin was struggling with his “white fragility”.
Within two months, Family of Origin moved out too. His replacement: a kind, peaceful, hard working woman I’ll call Cindy. Cindy and I hit it off right away. Today, we share meals, watch movies together and talk eagerly about our passions. She’s a great fit. So is Lorenzo and Andre too!
Lorenzo and Andre moved out, but two new housemates I’ll call Jeff and Tomiko moved in behind them. They both are wonderful, peaceful, respectful and quiet people. And one of them is transgender which hits close to home.
Epilogue:
What happened here?
Several things unfolded in perfect universal coordination. One, I realized how my current, unwanted reality clarified beliefs in my Belief Constellation I wanted cleaned up.
Next, I surrendered to the unwanted by accepting rather than pushing against those things.
Then I ignored all those things, including the people creating them. Instead of giving what I wanted changed attention, I put attention on future realities containing what I wanted.
Doing all this, I tuned myself so that my now gradually matched my desires. On the way to that, my Inner Being coordinated with Inner Being’s of my old housemates. Through that coordination their Inner Being’s gave them impulses they felt were right for them. They came to their conclusions that served them. Conclusions that served me too.
My Inner Being simultaneously coordinated with people who matched what I wanted, people whose desires matched what I wanted too, and inspired them to me. The result: new people in my living situation matched with my desire and thus, an ideal living space.
Creating people consistent with one’s desires is fairly advanced, but possible for everyone. Cultivating Positively Focused momentum makes available nonphysical connections we share with others. Those connections exist for our use. When Positively Focused, that use ultimately matches me with people consistent with and in agreement with what I want.
It feels like mind control, but it’s not. I feel like a Jedi, but that’s at best, a fable. What’s really happening is I’m drawing to me people wanting what I want, for their own personal reasons that match my own. I call that co-creation between people. It’s so fun!
