The more selfish I am, the more joy I bring to other people. It’s uncanny, unbelievable perhaps, but true. That’s because the more selfish I am in living my life, the more I empower others to be that way too. And the more selfish people are, the better their lives get.
Everyone creates their reality. There are no exceptions to this. It’s why I assert with my clients that “reality” is 100 percent subjective. If it weren’t, none of what I offer my clients would hold as accurate. And life experience would be perilous indeed.
No one can create for us. No one can come into our experience and do something we don’t invite. Such statements present precarious situations for some. People in “victim mode” will argue for their self-imposed limitations, saying such statements are irresponsible. Similar people feeling equally insecure, but from a different perspective, claim such statements “blame victims”.
But there are no victims. Well, there are victims. But perpetrators and victims are one in the same. That’s because everyone creates their experiences. That is the one rule for which no exceptions exist.
We stand alone in our created realities
While some stridently disagree, others will (rightly) find tremendous freedom and empowerment in such statements. For if every person creates their reality, then each person can enjoy any kind of reality they want. The only limitations on such enjoyment are those each person creates for themselves.
Think of it. No one stands between where we are and what we want. Our experiences stream from our awareness just as automatically as our legs move when we decide we want to walk from one place to another. The mechanism of walking is exactly the same as reality creation. So it makes sense then to understand how “walking” happens, what’s involved and how to leverage that process more deliberately.
Once that happens, one discovers the fantastic nature of reality: that we each stand in our separate, but overlapping, created realities. We’re sovereign in our existence. And in our sovereignty, great joy awaits.
Great joy: that’s what I offer my clients.
Little by little, life improves
Now, the great thing about physical reality is, nothing happens instantly. What we have happened gradually. It came into existence as an unending stream of manifestations. So too will that which we want. To get what we want, we must know it won’t happen at once. Like our life as it is, the new life will come gradually.
The uninitiated don’t understand this. So they wobble in their focus. Then they get wobbly results. Or more of the life they already have. But the initiated learn to hold fast on what they desire. They don’t wobble in their focus. As a result, their life gradually resembles or reflects, everything they want.
Getting there should happen effortlessly. But because most of us forget this life way, we’ve cultivated habits running counter to that effortless life; that Charmed Life I write about constantly. Showing clients how to soothe such habits forms the primary steps of my client work.
The power of selfish living
But no one needs me to discover joyful living. All one need do is adopt new habits and hold them over time. New habits aligned with outcomes people want. Abraham recently offered guidance on this in an email:
It sounds easy. But for many, it’s not. That’s why people like me exist. I offer support for folks. Through a client relationship, I see things about people they can’t see. I use that insight in service, gradually pointing out, then offering alternatives to disempowering ways of being.
In time, everyone gets that for which they came. Some get more than expected, to their great delight and wonder. I especially enjoy working with those clients. That’s because their delight and wonder amplifies my version of those feelings.
And that’s why I do what I do. My purpose is selfish. In serving others in this way, I serve myself. I amplify my own focus and practice, further cultivating beneficial habits. Habits which get reflected back to me in my own created reality.
As a result, I enjoy the Charmed Life. So in sharing my Charmed Life experience, I get more of that. While also helping others develop their version of what I enjoy.
Is there really a better life than that? I don’t think so.
I once contemplated suicide. In high school, I dated one of the prettiest, most popular girls. One day, she quit dating me. Her parents didn’t approve apparently. Drawings I made of her and I engaged in sexual acts, which her parents found, didn’t help my case…
So much did her parents disapprove that they dropped the bomb, in person…on my mom. They showed up at my home one day and, in no uncertain terms, told mom I wouldn’t see their daughter any more.
My adolescent heart broke. Not knowing what I know now, I thought my youthful world ended right there. What was the point of living without her?
Obviously, I didn’t take my life. It was a momentary blip. The next day, the experience past, I moved on. So did my ex, apparently.
That’s why I understand the dismal place people find themselves where suicide seems logical. Getting to the place where suicide makes sense sucks. But it needn’t suck. Nor need it be fatal.
Instead, it can be the best launching pad to a better life.
Emotions as divining rods
Suicidal thoughts feel scary. Especially when they sneak up on you. But do they though? Are people contemplating suicide happy one moment, then, voila!, they want to die?
Of course not. Suicidal thoughts usually come to ordinary folk after a long period of gradual, increasingly negative thoughts. As such, suicidal thoughts resemble any other thought and their associated momentum.
Thoughts trigger emotions. Nothing else does that. Anyone can figure this out by watching where their emotions come from. The common refrain that “X made me” sad, or angry or jealous is a lie we tell ourselves constantly. No one makes someone else feel anything. How someone feels depends on thoughts that person thinks about what they’re thinking about. That’s the only source of emotions.
And yet, emotions are crucial. They help tell us many important things about every choice we make. Some of the most powerful thoughts humans think happen underneath human awareness. It’s not that they’re “unconscious”. It’s just that the thinker is oblivious to how they’re choosing to think about what they’re thinking about. Emotions, therefore, act as an immediate feedback mechanism for our thought-choices. Not just those we choose “unconsciously”, but ones we consciously choose too.
Emotions also tell a person what’s coming in the future. Yes, they’re a kind of divining rod, accurately and constantly predicting the future before the future comes.
But since most people don’t know this, they end up feeling chronically anxious, worried, doubtful, insecure and depressed. Then they’re frightened when suicidal thoughts show up. Thoughts they could avoid completely had they used their emotions, humans’ natural divining rod, appropriately.
Negative thoughts start it
Negative thoughts, and their associated emotions, essentially tell the thinker “stop how you’re thinking or you won’t like what comes next!”
Suicidal thoughts do the same, but at volume 10. They say “Dude! Wake the fuck up! You’re heading somewhere you’re not going to like!” That’s why thoughts about killing one’s self feel awful. If someone thinking about suicide looks back across their “thinking” history, they will find a succession of increasingly negative conclusions about life, themselves or some situation. They’ve been thinking thoughts on a variety of subjects that are grossly inaccurate. And they’ve felt increasingly awful-feeling emotions along the way.
So suicidal thoughts usually indicate a strong momentum of negative thinking (long held beliefs) leading to feeling unworthy, powerless, hopeless and depressed; all emotions signaling immediate action is needed.
People generally panic or they double down when such thoughts happen because they don’t know how they happened or where they come from. So they don’t know what to do when they show up (that’s powerlessness), which exacerbates their feeling out of control (that’s helplessness). That triggers more fear and powerlessness and lack of control. See how that momentum builds up?
But such thoughts can be reversed with very little effort.
What happens after the act
A hopeless or depressed person who kills themselves ends up where everyone else who dies ends up. They return to where they came, a place I call “nonphysical”. There, they remember everything they forgot when they became human. They remember they are an eternal being. Their awareness expands back into the Broader Perspective that tried guiding them while in a physical body. They realize there’s far more to what they are than life on earth.
They also return to the pure positive, joyful energy being that is their natural state. In that state they also realize something else. They get that their exit from the life trajectory they chose was premature. They also see that, like a bad dream, experiences they feared were of their own making. A path they created that, had they kept walking, would have improved.
Human life experience offers so much rich and satisfying opportunity. It literally changes the being experiencing it in profound ways. It does the same for everyone involved.
The experience offers such profound opportunity, a being standing in nonphysical finds it irresistible. That’s one reason why so many humans and other living creatures incarnate.
Post-suicide, these realizations deeply move the person. They remember the profound reason they chose human existence. That reason compels them so completely, they find themselves drawn right back into another body to resume the process they began. The process leading to profound transformation and elevation.
This doesn’t happen against their will. The happening happens because the being, the eternal being, knows what this experience offers. And it wants that.
A temporary fix at best
So suicide offers at best a temporary respite from a chronic series of interpretations that ran counter to what really happened. Instead of seeing their life unfolding in a beautiful, perfect, divinely-timed unfolding designed by them, they saw it as an awful experience over which they had no control.
Such distorted interpretations usually don’t lead to suicide. Otherwise far more people would kill themselves than do. Suicide happens less frequently because, most of the time, human consciousness, guided by its Broader Perspective enjoys an underlying propensity towards “good”. Inner guidance steps in well before the train gets near careening off its track.
Killing one’s self looks bad and wrong and scary. But it’s none of these things. At worse, it’s a temporary detour. At best, it offers a reset for the eternal individual. A chance to recover that awesome awareness state from which the human journey began.
Suicidal thinking’s great potential
Ultimately, all paths lead to fulfilled desire and expansion of All That Is. No one need experience emotions leading to suicide. Such thoughts usually resolve themselves with just a little attention paid to creating other thoughts aligned with one’s Broader Perspective.
People thinking about killing themselves possess tremendous energy. Such people can transform then channel that energy towards their desires. In other words, a person contemplating suicide enjoys tremendous potential.
I help people learn to channel that energy and potential. I show them how to improve their thinking. After that anything becomes possible. That’s what life holds for everyone. Unlimited possibilities available to all. That makes life so worth living.
I think anyone would enjoy that. Why wouldn’t they? Because most people don’t realize how good life can be. I love helping folks realize life’s goodness. A perspective born from realizing they are, as I am. God in human form.
Thinking about committing suicide? Get help by dialing 988 in the US.
Western culture worships a false idol. It’s called hard work. Look around. So many people on average spend upwards of half or more of their time awake working. Some dedicate far more of their waking hours to working hard.
Americans in particular are known for their workaholism. A client of mine on vacation in Spain talked with someone, a Spaniard, who described her opulent and leisure lifestyle. In doing so, she said “Americans live to work. We Spaniards work to live.“
There’s no honor in Americans venerating working hard. If we knew more about how life works, our work life preoccupation would dramatically decrease, with no corresponding decrease in production, believe it or not.
Indeed, the easy life carries far more productivity potential. That’s because when one takes it easy, following both intuition and passion instead of doing what others expect of them, remarkable things happen. And they happen because them happening expresses nature’s grace for all living things.
Runaway success is natural
Take a look at the paradox described by “working hard“. Many people work very hard in their lives and barely get anywhere. The working poor are a great example. But so are many of the middle class. Many people in the middle class struggle mightily working hard and just barely cover their means. Or they get far enough to amass material pleasures. But since many middle class people finance such things, they end up working even harder to pay off credit cards, big mortgages and car loan debt.
Others enjoy a smattering of success evidenced by promotions, vanity titles or a real supervisory role. But those “successes“ usually lead to more work as well.
And when it comes to runaway success, an even greater paradox exists. Some of the most successful put in hardly any work at all and find success near immediately, while others work very hard in the same field and get comparatively nowhere.
Take the case of Sir Lewis Hamilton, the first brown-skinned Formula One driver. He is described as a “prodigy“ race car driver. From a very early age, his parents saw his instinctual attraction to racing. Everyone saw it. So everyone supported him as he rose far beyond others. Others working equally hard, and some working even harder.
Hamilton could easily do behind the steering wheel what others rarely or never could do. Indeed, his “hard work“ was more about further developing his natural gifts, his passions, not struggling to achieve “success “ or accomplish anything.
Something else must be happening
I was just about to write “not to diminish the effort Hamilton put into becoming a skillful driver”. But my desire to write that evidences my own indoctrination into our collective distortion; the distortion that “hard work” is the key to success. If it were the key to success, if it were instrumental in things going the way we want, why are so many working so hard not successful?
Which leads me to the following. Something else must be happening that allows some people to succeed with little effort and others, despite lots of hard work, hardly ever get anywhere. This is the case for something larger having more influence on one’s success than how much effort or action one dedicates toward that goal.
Why is it some people who work so hard achieve comparatively little?
I assert the answer has nothing to do with their hard work. Instead, it has far more to do with their attitude.
But even that is too superficial. It’s less about “attitude“ and more about resonance, or lack thereof, one feels for whatever it is one decides is “success“. One’s image of oneself, what one believes is possible, and what one chooses to do from those perspectives shapes everything.
Action of any kind means comparatively little.
The easy life for all
That resonance giving rise to inevitable success feels a certain way. And that feeling indicates a gradually emerging life that, initially, feels better than what it feels like when working 40 or more hours a week. It feels like freedom, adventure, positive expectation and empowerment on a consistent basis.
Most people experience such feelings infrequently or not at all. Such experiences explain why so many struggle or live mediocre lives or lives of compromise. Such people haven’t cultivated a resonance atmosphere within which success comes easy. They’re too busy trying to get there by copying what others do: trying to get there through action and hard work. They won’t slow down and get in touch with that which will make their life easy. They think the easy life is being lazy. So the Charmed Life I describe eludes them.
We all enjoy free will. All That Is wants us focusing our time and action living the easy life. That’s because doing so adds to or fulfills that which we each as individuals came to fulfill. And in that fulfillment, All That Is becomes more.
People who struggle contribute to more too. But how many of those people – were they in their right mind instead of the mind that has them indoctrinated into hard work – how many of those people would trade what they have for the easy life? I would argue that, in their right mind, everyone would make that trade.
That’s because everyone knew that’s the life they would live before coming into the world. That easy life. The life Jesus proclaimed in his sermon on the mount. I wrote about this two posts ago.
Nature wants you happy
Instead, so many of us choose lives of struggle. We all have free will, as I’ve said. We are all also eternal. So eventually, each of us, as individuals, learn to give up the hard life for the easy one. For many, that takes several lifetimes.
But for a select few, it can happen in this lifetime. By “select few“ I don’t mean to imply that someone else, like some god, blesses the lucky ones. The select few select themselves. They are those who connect with paths such as the one offered here at Positively Focused.
And when those people plug-in, their life becomes the easy life. In time, they leave hard work behind.
Many of the struggles we see in the world stem from people working hard and in doing so becoming discouraged and bitter. They’re disconnected from who they knew themselves to be. I suggest we give up all of that. And when we do so, we will realize a global society based on the Charmed Life I advocate.
When that happens we can give up worshipping the false idol that is hard work. Then get on with living lives we came to live.
Question: Why aren’t I shifting or getting any successful manifestations?
Answer: You are getting successful manifestations. You just don’t realize you are. The reason you think you’re not, and thus calling your results unsuccessful or non-results, is because you don’t understand fully the manifestation process.
You’re always getting manifestations. Your entire life is completely composed of them. What do you think your body and the world you observe are?
The only reason(s) whatever it is you’re wanting to manifest isn’t happening (yet) is either you still aren’t a match to what it is you want or you’re still resisting it or you’re too focused on the result and generating impatience, which is another form of resistance, or you’re way too focused on “I’m not shifting or getting any successful manifestations.”
Another way of saying that last one is, you’re too focused on the absence of your desired results.
As a result of any of these, or a combination of some or all of them, you ARE getting successful results. The results are showing you what you must do to get what you want:
Appreciate the results you are getting as the positive indicators they are
If you weren’t getting the results you’re getting, you wouldn’t know where you are relative to what you want. Isn’t that good to know? How else are you supposed to know where you are relative to where you want to be?
So keep going. Relax. Stop being so hard on yourself and the results you’re getting. The results you’re getting are great. Appreciate them and watch how your progress-momentum increases.
Sometimes getting what I want sucks. It sucks because the result – getting what I want – shows me something I didn’t realize. That can suck. But it also, in every case, confirms what I show my clients. It also proves from my own life the power of what I share with them.
Such results also remind me I create my reality by what I focus on. Not what I want. That’s a huge distinction. Many people think this manifestation business happens by focusing on what we want. And while that is true, usually what’s happening is we focus on something other than what we want. Then we get that. And then we say “this manifesting business doesn’t work”.
My recent client leaving demonstrates this with supreme perfection. I wrote about his departure last week. In that post I shared how he chose a life of struggle and hard work as though those things were badges of honor.
However, such a life isn’t a badge of honor. Well, it is to other humans. But I’m not here to please others. You aren’t either.
We’re here to live our lives as the Gods we are. We’re here to create unique lives consistent with that which thrills us. And, frankly, I don’t know anyone thrilled about living lives of struggle, sacrifice and pain born of working hard. Especially when such paths usually offer scant glimmers of possible success. Instead, such paths usually end in mediocre lives.
We’re all free to choose
It bears repeating. The honorable life is one lived consistent with what and who we are as Gods in human form. That’s why the masses and society in general idolize those who “walk to the beat of their own drum”, who are authentic pioneers creating something brand new or earth shattering. Rarely do such people follow society’s general life prescription.
Living that way, as powerful creators we all are, means casting off bogus beliefs so we live lives wherein everything we want happens effortlessly. Our life can include all manner of great things, where all our needs are met, just the way it happens for animals and plants in nature. I described this in my previous post.
But so many choose struggle instead. I show people how to live lives of joy. Not struggle. So my clients’ lives become the Charmed Life I write about. Not every client ultimately chooses that though. And I must be ok with their choice.
This client chose society’s general life prescription. Their choosing reminded me how powerful I am.
The power of belief
I saw tremendous potential in this client. Like other advanced practice clients, he quickly grasped the fundamentals. As a result, our conversations often included profound insights and realizations about how great life is. We also reveled over experiences he created up to that point. Experiences proving undoubtedly that the practice works. Some such manifestations which he created he originally thought impossible. Each of those thrilled both him and me.
Yet, I also saw in him a potential for “darkness”. By darkness I mean a tendency, a strong potential, that others’ bogus beliefs would sweep him up and carry him away from his emerging Charmed Life.
I likened him to Anakin Skywalker, father of the famous Star Wars Jedi, Luke Skywalker. Anakin became the Star Wars villain Darth Vader after giving into the Dark Side of the Force. Anakin’s mentor, Obi Wan Kenobi saw great potential in Anakin. But what Obi Wan and his fellow Jedi Masters also saw was potential for the Dark Side. In the same way, I saw great potential in my client. And a chance he wouldn’t fulfill that potential.
I often shared this perspective with that client. I hoped doing so would encourage his leaning into the light of his Charmed Life. In doing so I forgot how effective I am as a creator. I forgot I create my reality, including how others show up, through what I focus on. Not what I want.
The more sessions we enjoyed, the more encouraged I got about his potential. But the more potential I saw, the stronger my thoughts about him “turning” got. Since I identify strongly with Jedi lore, I recognize a lot of momentum exists in me about that lore. What I didn’t realize was how powerfully they’d create the client I ended up with.
Later in our session evolution, I sensed a “disturbance” in his way of being. He started coming to sessions less prepared. He started offering pespectives reflecting doubt and suspicion. And he started questioning my path. He became a Positively Focused version of Anakin Skywalker. Right before my eyes! He even turned to the hard-work encouraging book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People!
One day he strongly disputed the validity of the personal reality unfolding in my life. Of course, he knew his opinion of my unfolding reality was irrelevant. And he knew such doubts would create realities for him that would eventually have him leave the practice. But that didn’t stop his momentum. A momentum amplified by my own focus.
Neither he nor I was surprised when he said he wanted to end his practice. He punctuated his departure with belligerent statements, feeling offended and again disparaging my path. Remarkably, these are similar behaviors Anakin showed toward his mentor Obi Wan. He even tried killing his mentor before becoming Darth Vader.
You get what you focus on
After that interaction with my client I realized I got what I focused on. I got a promising client who chose turning away.
Of course I did not want this outcome. But looking back on thoughts I focused on the most about this client, I must admit they mainly were about him turning away from his Charmed Life. So his choice is no surprise in retrospect. After all, I’m a powerful creator. I create my total reality. That includes versions of those with whom I interact. And that includes clients with whom I work.
I’m no exception to universal laws. Just like anyone else, I create what I focus on, not what I want. Focus is key. So if I want what I want, I must focus on that. In this case, I focused on something other than what I wanted.
And I got that.
I feel like Obi Wan Kenobi. Losing his promising apprentice, Anakin, rocked Obi Wan to the core. Unlike Obi Wan, however, I know everything always works out. So I’m not going into self-imposed exile like he did. I’m not going to quit my practice or quit helping others. The client who left will be fine. And I learned something awesome. It’s an experience I’ll remember, always.
And isn’t that the great thing about all “sucky” experiences? It’s the power of their “suckiness” that makes them such awesome experiences. That is, if one can see them as awesome, instead of sucky.
This experience made me a better creator; a better spiritual teacher as well. And for that, instead of feeling sad or sucky, I’m deeply appreciative.
It’s amazing how fast things will manifest in resistance’s absence. And on manifestations where very little resistance exists, things wanted happen in a matter of days. Like this cool manifestation I created this past spring.
Manifestations can happen in an instant. For most of us though, manifesting something we want hardly ever happens. And for things we really, really want, manifestation never happens. That’s why so few believe “manifesting” things is “a thing”.
The reason manifesting hardly ever happens or never happens for most people is because of resistance. Resistance can look like many things. Usually, resistance gets created when a person thinks they’re thinking about what they’re wanting to manifest. But instead, they’re thinking about the absence of that. So when what they want doesn’t happen, they think manifestation isn’t working.
It’s working, though. In this case, the person is manifesting what they’re focusing on, which is the absence of what they want. So they get what they focus on, not what they want: the absence of the wanted thing.
That’s why so many think manifesting things doesn’t work. They don’t know what they’re doing.
But with a few months practice, anyone can create the Charmed Life, the life wherein everything someone wants, happens in such obvious ways, “you create your reality” becomes more than a New Age saying. It literally becomes daily life.
Personal experience abounds
My own life reveals how accurate this is. Yes, things I really want I see more evidence of. I write every week about how things I want manifest. One day a reader said “you always write about little things happening” implying that the little things aren’t that big of a deal.
But they are a big deal. Manifesting little things is really important. Through those little things, I’ve gained confidence. I see tons of wonderful manifestations happening. Because of that, my awareness has expanded to allow me to be able to see evidence of those bigger things most people want – money, relationships, etc. – happening too.
Not only am I feeling more confident they’re happening, others express seeing evidence of them unfolding too in my life and theirs as a result of being my client. So all this evidence soothes disbelief I have about bigger things bing possible.
In the meantime, I use little things that happen near instantly, or in a few days, to build my appreciation of my own Charmed Life. When I do that, I feel lighter and more in love about life.
This all means those little things aren’t little anymore. They represent big indicators of the bigger things coming and they prepare me for them too. For that reason, I celebrate when little things happen. Which is exactly what I did as winter turned to spring earlier this year.
Something lost means something bigger coming
One day in late May I rode my bike to my local Safeway. May where I live brings cool mornings and more temperate afternoons. It’s shirt sleeve riding weather after say 3 p.m. But before that, at least for me, it’s jacket, gloves and a winter cap riding conditions.
On this day I wore all three. At Safeway, I locked my bike, got my groceries, then headed back to my bike. By the time I finished shopping, the weather turned warm. So instead of putting on my winter riding gloves, which are windproof, waterproof and warm, I put on my summer gloves which decidedly are not.
Little did I realize I left my winter riding gloves in the shopping cart. With gloves on my hands, I didn’t think to check the cart. I got on my bike and pedaled away.
It wasn’t until days later that I discovered what happened. They were my favorite riding gloves. I had them for three years. They cost me $50. Though disappointed, I didn’t let my carelessness totally bum me out. Instead, I knew the fact that I left them behind meant someone else needed them more than me. I also realized Universe was bringing me a replacement.
That’s exactly what happened
As May turned to June, the weather dramatically improved. Indeed, on the week in question, the weather promised its first above 80 degree day. On sunny days I love riding to the beach to bask on hot sands while writing a blog or reading. This was going to be my first day to do that this year. So that was my plan.
I loaded my bike with all my gear and headed out for the beach. Not four blocks from where I live, on the way to my lovely spot, an amazing thing happened.
Once I crossed a main street, a postal truck stopped in my path. I slowed behind and waited, then it turned left down a side road. When it turned I saw these two black things in the road. As I got closer to them, they came into view. It was these bad boys just lying in the middle of the road.
Showers Pass is a top-of-the line winter and rain biking brand. I already own a riding jacket made by the same brand and I love it. Imagine seeing these in the middle of the road. I picked them up and tried them on. Of course, they fit perfectly!
As I said, I paid $50 for those gloves I lost. These cost a bit more and feel way better on my hands.
The rest of my ride to the spot I rode on my own little cloud nine. Rather than riding all the way to the beach, I stopped at a little lake filled with ducks, turtle and nutria. It was the perfect, private quiet spot for me to revel in this wonderful replacement.
A perfect recipe
I knew rendezvousing with these gloves was the response to my Positively Focused attitude about giving up my older ones. The minute I recognized them as gloves, I just knew what was happening. That’s why I felt so amazing when it happened.
How this happened matched perfectly the recipe for manifesting something one wants. First, I didn’t stew on the fact that I lost something. Instead, I knew that somehow, some way, something better would replace what left my life. I also appreciated that whoever now had my old gloves would enjoy them and, needed them more than me.
Then I pretty much forgot that I left them behind altogether. That allowed my Broader Perspective to go to work coordinating something better to flow in to my life. Because I wasn’t stewing, I had no resistance around having “lost” my old gloves. In other words, instead of focusing on what I don’t want (losing my gloves), I focused on what I wanted (knowing something better was coming).
And that’s what happened.
This seems like a small thing, not really worth talking about. But it’s important to know these little experiences, recognize them and amplify them. That’s because these little things will build within me trust and belief that if these little things can happen, the bigger, more wonderful manifestations are happening too, which is true.
They’re only taking longer because I harbor more resistance (disbelief, for example) about those than about these smaller things. But with each smaller thing that manifests, I gain more belief in the bigger things. And at some point, each increment of more belief, must add up to enough belief to overcome the disbelief. Then the bigger thing I want, will pop into my life experience.
It must, because that’s how this “manifesting business” works!
Question: How do you know a person never dies? Is the soul really eternal? How can you prove this?
This question leads to a kind of Unified Theory of Eternal Life. What a worthy and considerable question!
Why is it worthy? Because a person’s “soul”, All That Is and the Universe want the person to know they’re eternal. They also want them knowing each person creates their reality as they live life. Only then can one live an authentic life.
That’s because if a person fears death, or what happens after death, life gets colored by that fear. Many people fear death. That fear generates much anxiety. And anxiety blocks authentic living.
While seeking proof will reveal proof, such proof doesn’t exist in “objective” form. That’s because life (even “after-life”) is 100 percent subjective. So proof reveals itself only in life’s subjectivity. In other words, only you can prove it to yourself. And when you do, evidence you find will come through intimate, personal experience.
Being subjective, such experience won’t convince others. Therefore, proving it definitively to others won’t work. All the evidence is first-person experiential.
First things first
Physical life experience – particularly the external-seeming, objective aspects – are projections of the soul’s experience onto itself. So the being experiencing physical life experiences an experience of self projected into the awareness of itself. That projection looks and feels as an apparent “objective” reality.
Why does it appear that way?
So the experiencer can experience “more” of itself as well as fulfill “intentions” central to who and what “self” is. So seeing proof of an eternal soul first requires knowing what you just read. That information gives context to proof you’ll find. The proof, in other words, will look like life experiences. Those experiences will “prove” convincing.
You also need lots of patience. Proof rarely comes in a flash. And when it does, it is often missed or it’s bewildering or incomprehensible. Like a barely remembered dream in the morning, if you don’t know how to recall it, or replicate it, you can’t hold onto it.
But with patience, the gradual, unhurried nature of All That Is will reveal everything (anything really) you’re wanting to know.
Making proof visible instead of impossible
Next tip: you’re surrounded by evidence of your eternal nature. You just can’t see it right now. Seeing the proof necessitates orienting your perception so evidence shows up in your perception. Instead of perception showing you the absence of the evidence. The absence of evidence is what you see when you think you’re mortal. Which is why people think death is real.
“Orienting” your perception doesn’t mean “doing something” in physical reality. Instead, it means “allowing yourself to realize” what you want to know. “Doing something” and “allowing yourself to realize” represent two distinct things.
Bear with me while I continue adding more context.
One way eternal life seekers complicate matters happens when they think or believe in ways making seeing proof difficult if not impossible. The word “soul” for example, generates belief constellations that work against “allowing yourself to realize”. I wrote about this before, here.
Beliefs are communicable too, just like some diseases. They get passed on through language primarily. You’ll notice you talk to yourself almost constantly. Much of that internal dialogue confirms and reconfirms beliefs, many of which work against seeing answers sought. So the next step involves realizing how language and beliefs muddle perception, then cleaning up language and belief.
Practical example time 😊
For example, look at the following two statements:
I want to see evidence that the soul never dies
I want to be the realizer of my eternal nature
Notice the action-oriented nature inherent in statement one. It also presumes no visible evidence. The speaker wants to see what they don’t see.
This statement affirms evidence’s absence instead of affirming evidence’s abundance. The perceiver wants to see something she currently does not, the “does not” component gets emphasized above all else. It creates “disbelief”.
Notice statement two is passive. The speaker speaks to evidence showing itself to her. Further, her statement expresses desire to become something, not see something. It also affirms existence of what she wants to realize. She understands her eternal nature is a thing and she expresses her desires around experiencing that.
These subtle distinctions make all the difference.
The word “proof” is problematic as well. “Proof” is adversarial. It says “show me because I don’t believe it.” Wanting proof affirms your doubt. It also offers confrontation. “PROVE IT” is the energy of the word “proof”.
See the subtlety?
Let’s put this all together
Ok, so now you have a sense of four important premises:
Evidence you want will occur as 100 percent subjective. It will only convince you. No one else.
Desired evidence surrounds you. Wanting to create evidence or discovering it distracts you from experiencing it. You’re wanting to realize the already-existing evidence. Or better said: you’re wanting to realize your eternal nature, which already always has/is existed/existing.
How you frame your request will either support your intent or defeat it.
Your beliefs will hinder or help you become the realizer of the answer to your question.
So now, the process is simple: you simply ask for the answer in a way that supports getting the answer…then hold to knowing the answer shows itself.
What happens next: you’ll experience events confirming your intent. Things start happening showing that you’re eternal. But you must keep the four points in mind. Also, you must constantly question thoughts and reactions which will stop the evidence flow dead in its tracks.
The evidence becomes evident
For example, one day at a bus stop or someplace familiar, someone you know may join you. You’ll strike up a conversation and this person may say something – mention a newspaper or magazine article, a website, a book, or tv show – that will cause within you an “a-ha!” moment. What they say will sound perfectly timed and related to your intent. Perhaps they will mention the show God Friended Me, for example, or the Netflix show, The Good Place, both having themes in eternal life. And then one of many different things might happen:
You will totally miss the relevance between the shows (and their premises) and your request. Here Universe and All That Is gave you a clue. But your beliefs will block the connection. So you’ll say something like “huh, interesting” and let the mention pass.
Maybe you’ll think “hmm, I just read a blog about seeing my eternal nature and here is someone telling me about a TV show about god and the afterlife.” And your mind then might go: “this is a coincidence” and you’ll miss the relevance.
OR….You may feel goose pimples or a shiver down your spine and think “This is no coincidence. This is evidence showing itself….” Then you’ll get excited….You might go home later and watch either show, enjoy the premise offered and then, be inspired to casually research online the word “serendipity”….
Do something like number three and you’re on your way.
Seeing overwhelming evidence
The seeming chance bus stop encounter began the realization. But if you aren’t alert, you’ll miss it. That’s how subtle Universe works. Your job remains maintaining alertness and expectation.
Keep this up and you’ll experience all kinds of evidence. They literally surround you:
You may be invited to an Ayahuasca event or a meditation session
Someone may start talking about eternity or life extension at a function you attend
A dream might happen where you experience events implying an eternal being
More events will happen confirming real what science calls “pseudoscience”.
And then, at some point, you’ll notice old beliefs gradually shifting. You’ll move through life differently. Your changed beliefs and lifestyle reveal more serendipitous opportunities making disbelief harder:
Dreams will become more and more lucid and engaging
You’ll start to want to know what your dreams are about
You’ll start playing with this whole idea that “you create your reality” and you’ll start getting evidence of that showing up all over your life
Then, really amazing things will start happening. Things that, in the past, you would have said “that’s coincidence” or “that’s impossible” or “random” or “confirmation bias” or some other nonsense. Only now you won’t say those things because they happen so often there’s too much of them proving they’re real.
By then you’re on your way.
The rest of the path is up to your realization. Keep it up and you will eventually realize what every sincere person realizes: life and everything in it, including you, is eternal and death is not the end. It’s only the beginning of more life.
The best way to create a better, happy life starts with learning how to do nothing. When people discover the power of doing nothing, life really starts taking off. In a short time, it not only gets better, life feels happier.
Most people instead get caught up in the “doing disease”. They think happy, better lives come from doing things that will, supposedly, make them happy. But what they find is, all that doing leads to a whole lot more doing. And rarely does the doing make the person happy.
So many think all we need “to do” is do more of what others are doing and we’ll find happiness. So that’s what we do. We work hard, sacrifice, put off joy now for joy later…
I know that path personally. I worked almost 30 years before I realized the secret to happiness was doing less.
Doing is drudgery
Before that realization, doing had me doing what everyone else did. It worked. Sometimes. Looking back, though, all that hard-earned money, lofty positions that looked good on paper but took their toll on my personal life satisfaction, wasn’t worth the happiness I enjoy now, doing a lot of nothing besides attending to my spiritual happiness.
I suggest it lies in the heart and mind, not in an external situation. Which means, of course, the difference between those fulfilled at work, doing, and those hating what they’re doing lies in what they’re thinking about what they’re doing.
The best way to change how one thinks first comes with understanding how one currently thinks. That’s where becoming Positively Focused starts.
Until a person figures out their thinking patterns and habits, it’s too easy to stay trapped in the doing the disease, trying to create a different result by doing the same things.
I’m glad I found the way out of all that. The way out being doing nothing. It seems crazy, but it’s true. Here’s why.
You match what you’re getting
First, the reason so many seek happiness through doing, yet fail to find it, is because they’re trying to get something they don’t believe they can have. Or they’re looking for it in the wrong place. I talk about this with every client. A person can’t find something they think they can’t find. That’s the case for keys, lost gloves and, frankly, a happy life.
If someone thinks life isn’t fun and easy, they can’t experience the fun and ease of life. No matter how hard they try creating that, it will evade them. A person just can’t create outside of their existing beliefs. And what a person believes often lies hidden in thoughts they’re thinking so often, they can’t consciously perceive the thoughts when they think them.
Insecurities proceed us all
The fact is, if a person thinks life is a struggle, people are out to get them (or don’t care about them), or that their life has no meaning or other similar thoughts, the insecurity or anxiety such thoughts trigger tells the thinker what they’re thinking about life, people or the meaning of life is inconsistent with how life actually is.
What’s more, those thoughts will create life experiences consistent with them. Life will occur as a constant struggle, people will be predatory and life will feel meaningless. And once such thoughts create life experience consistent with them, momentum behind those thoughts is so great, those thoughts continue creating life experience on their own. Until the thinker generates momentum in a different direction.
This is why life seems “the way it is”, like some objective reality. Instead of the subjective reality life really is. Life is a subjective reality under direct control of the person experiencing the reality.
Instead of taking control though, people become victims of that auto-created life. Which means becoming victims of their uncontrolled thinking processes. They try harder. They do more, push, struggle more, thinking if they do all that, they’ll finally get what they want.
It doesn’t work that way. Life gives what you think about. Not what you want.
Doing it different?
Doing nothing begins an important process. That process reverses momentum created when a person keeps doing the same thing over and over, while expecting different results. When someone calms themselves, relaxes and focuses inward, powerful processes get underway even though it seems like nothing happens.
And the more that person relaxes into doing nothing, the more effective they get. That’s because every person receives guidance through their intuition, their Inner Being or Broader Perspective. Doing nothing tunes one into all that timeless wisdom.
What really happens is, by doing nothing, the person calms down noise in their head. That way they start hearing clear signals their intuition sends all day, every day.
In time, the person realizes some profound insights. Like this client:
Uncovering such insights takes a while. And this is the challenge. So many people in our lives tell us doing nothing is lazy and time wasting. But it’s not that. It’s a profound state of being which tunes one back into their deeper knowing.
But if you listen to society, parents, educators and all those loud mouths in the peanut gallery, you’ll hear “stop being lazy”, “work harder”, “success is in the struggle”.
It works but it’s tough
Such approaches work. But do you really want to struggle through life? I don’t. I’d rather enjoy life while seeing my life bringing me everything I want with little effort.
People who struggle claim it’s worth the struggle. They look at and display scars they “earned” on the way to their success. I say give that approach up, especially when it comes to finding happiness.
Instead, figure out how to instantly become a match to the happiness so often sought but not found. When it shows up, you will be a match to it because the instant you create it, you ARE a match to it. You’re happy. Stay in that and a happy life becomes yours.
A better way exists. It starts with doing nothing, which really is doing a lot. Learning to do nothing transforms life. My clients know this. It’s time for you to know it too.
It’s so fun helping clients discover they create their reality. I love participating in that unfolding. When such people discover their manifestation power, they realize they can create what they thought was impossible. Then their lives get really fun.
Of course, everything is possible. The only things keeping some things impossible are beliefs we hold. “That’s impossible” is a self-fulfilling prophesy.
Things change though when someone discovers they stand at the center of the Universe. There they realize they create everything around them. Including all the lovers they want…or the lack thereof. 🤷🏽♂️
Stories are powerful
One client’s personal experience showed how powerful, or disempowering, beliefs can be. She started practicing with me 36 sessions ago. Last week, something happened that amazed her.
During those 36 weeks, Jennifer (not her real name) uncovered many disempowering beliefs. They included beliefs about dating, about men, about men’s intentions. But they also included beliefs about Jennifer herself. These included beliefs like the following:
I’m not good enough to get what I want
I’m too fat to get the guy I want
Men only want me for sex
I’m too old
Time’s running out for me to find a guy
I never can find the right guy I want
Taken together these beliefs created Jennifer’s reality. What did that reality look like? One where men she met wanted her for sex only. Several often called her, but only when drunk. They demanded sexually explicit texts, wouldn’t talk on the phone, and when Jennifer pushed the issue, they would ghost her. Others made promises to meet in person, only to disappear later.
No wonder Jennifer, who happens to be transgender, formed negative beliefs about dating, about men and about men’s intentions.
It’s not that her beliefs weren’t true. After all, she formed many of them from past experience. But if Jennifer wants what she wants, she can’t expect to get it while holding beliefs about what she doesn’t want, no matter how true they are.
Beliefs are powerful. They can create more of the same. Or they can create what you want.
Choose: get what you want or be right
Jennifer had a choice. She could talk about what’s true and be right. Or she could create beliefs and talk about what she wants and get that.
For example, one belief she had about men was “I’ll never meet a nice guy locally”. Every guy she had met, she met through OKCupid. Desperation had her using online dating. No matter how many times I told her online dating works terribly, she kept using it.
That’s because she also believed it was the only way she met men. See how beliefs create reality? Her’s about not meeting local guys had her believing she could only meet men online. So that’s how she met them. And, the men she met there showed up consistent with her other beliefs. Especially beliefs about herself as a transgender woman.
The online experience only amplified her frustration, which in turn reinforced her beliefs. Again, Jennifer can’t entertain beliefs about her past and get what she wants. Instead, she must focus on what she wants. That’s what we focused on in the ensuing 36 sessions.
Evidence starts proving it works
Over time, Jennifer’s new, empowering beliefs started creating realities consistent with themselves. It was rough going at first. Often Jennifer reinforced her old ones more than energizing new, more empowering ones.
However, there’s something cool about telling positive stories. Such stories enjoy enormous creative potential. You see, the Universe wants everyone to enjoy what they want, no exceptions. So when someone lines up with what they want by telling positive stories about it, they become a match to that. Then, that person gradually starts seeing evidence of what they want showing up everywhere.
That’s what happened with Jennifer. For example, men started waving at her as she walked down the street. Every time it happened, she said, she looked behind her to see if the guys were waving at someone else. Nope, they waved at her.
Or the male barista at the drive up kiosk would chat Jennifer up, where before he would ignore her. Another time a gas station attendant complimented her nails. And another time, a male restaurant sever paid particular attention to her as he attended the table she sat at with friends.
Ordinary people chalk these examples up to “coincidence” or some other logical explanation. But there’s no such thing as coincidence and logic has nothing to do with it! Everything happens on purpose. The purpose is reflecting back beliefs one tells about what’s happening.
The more Jennifer got this, the more such things happened.
Evidence grows more insistent
Until one day while walking her dog at the local dog park, a man who also had his dog approached her. He said hi and Jennifer returned the greeting. They enjoyed a nice conversation while their dogs played. Afterward, the guy said “Oh, dude, I gotta go. I’m late.”
Now Jennifer interpreted that as the guy misgendering her. We don’t know what his intentions really were, but I told her telling such a story was not in her best interest.
“It’s better to make up a story that you feel better about,” I said.
“Like what?” She asked.
“Like ‘the guy was using “dude” like some people do. It’s just a figure of speech, like an exclamation”,” I replied.
At first, Jennifer didn’t like that new story. But after some cajoling she admitted it felt better than the knee-jerk story she wanted to tell.
I told her telling such stories would create the next evidence that would knock Jennifer’s socks off.
And that’s exactly what happened next.
It bowls you over
Jennifer had other beliefs not related to men and dating. These needed attention too. The combination of beliefs, what I call a Belief Constellation, creates everyone’s reality. Jennifer’s constellation included many negative beliefs about her work and her manager. Those beliefs kept Jennifer on edge, defensive and feeling like a victim.
Feeling on edge, defensive and victimhood makes one a match to situations that exacerbate feeling those ways. And not just work situations, dating situations too. That’s why we needed to soothe Jennifer’s work beliefs too.
That took a while, but the better Jennifer felt, the more she wanted to do the practice. In time, evidence at work convinced her more and more her new beliefs were working.
Her boss complimented her more and more. She gave Jennifer more responsibilities. When Jennifer announced she was looking for openings in other departments, her manager offered to reclassify her job so she could get more pay. Finally, her manager came out and told Jennifer how much she valued her and how much she wanted Jennifer to stay.
Evidence at work was bowling Jennifer over. It amazed her that simply telling positive stories could literally change her relationship with her boss!
Then one day Jennifer texted me from work telling me how a process I taught her – called PRE-PAVING – helped change her work experience. In the text, she misspells it as “preparing”:
Then it happened
Riding on that positive momentum created what happened next. Jennifer felt good about changes happening at work. So much so, she softened on the idea that she couldn’t meet men in person. She started acknowledging evidence showing she was meeting men. It’s just that she hadn’t soothed negative beliefs enough to have such men approach her in person.
That all changed rather suddenly.
A few days after a remarkably powerful session, Jennifer sent me a text. It was awesome:
Many layers prove how powerful this experience was for Jennifer. For one, she didn’t have to do ANYTHING to meet this LOCAL, GORGEOUS guy other than follow her intuition to take Rocco out for walk. Second, there’s NO WAY ON EARTH she could have deliberately sought out this guy. It could only happen this way, a perfect orchestration of her unfolding reality.
Third, the guy did all the work. He approached her and initiated a conversation. But most of all, what’s super awesome about this rendezvous, is through it, Jennifer realized yet another belief she needs to clean up:
“He’s out of my league.”
However, even though that happened, she still had an experience totally contrary to EVERY experience she had in the past.
Every encounter a stepping stone
It’s really important at the point of receiving this experience that Jennifer enjoy the experience. Negatively judging herself does no good. Neither does harsh self-criticism about not doing something she thought she should have done. Everything worked perfectly here because this rendezvous wasn’t meant to be the perfect match or the perfect lover.
What it was, was an experience clarifying for Jennifer where she is on the path to becoming the perfect match to her perfect lover. How else will she know what disempowering beliefs remain in her constellation, if she doesn’t get to see her constellation in action? This experience worked perfectly.
It encouraged her. It created more desire in her. The fact that it happened gladdened her, inspiring her to the possibility that more such experiences can happen. It was a local connection! Something she thought impossible. And it showed that gorgeous men show interest in her.
So many disempowering beliefs got a dose of positivity just through this one experience. And so long as she remains in all these powerfully positive interpretations, Jennifer makes herself a match to more such experiences in the future.
Every client gets it
I love it when these kinds of things happen for my clients. Every client enjoys this kind of progression on their way to the love, the life, their greatest desires.
Everything is possible. Including having a relationship matching one’s wildest dreams. Nothing stands in the way of whatever anyone wants other than beliefs a person tells that are contrary to what’s wanted.
Clean those beliefs up though and watch how remarkable life gets.
Life is a wish-granting jewel. No matter what one wishes for, one can have it. One only need become a match to it, then draw that which is wished for to them as they hold themselves as a match to it.
I show clients how to do that. It’s easy, it’s fun and it works. Every time. You ready for your true love, your version of the Charmed Life Jennifer’s creating? I can help.
The best way to get everything one wants in life is to pursue what’s wanted because pursuing it is joyful. This is especially true when wanting something most people think is impossible. Such as “manifesting” more money, a relationship or a better job.
That’s because most people will tell you their opinion on how to get those things. And rarely will they offer the “manifesting” path. They’ll tell you “the odds” of you “manifesting” that thing. The’ll tell you getting something that way is “wishful thinking”.
They’ll tell you to be “realistic”. Being realistic means “trying hard”. It means doing what others do. It involves focusing with the end in mind and “faking it till you make it.”
All of those ways can work. But look around at people doing it that way. It’s hard work. People hate the process. And hardly anyone gets what they’re after, because the path is so filled with struggle many or most give up on what they want. Or worse, they compromise. They settle for something “ok” instead of holding out for their dream.
Compromising is what happens when someone goes after something thinking the result is what they’re after. If, however, a person goes after something, knowing the journey to that thing is what matters most, the entire process and experience of the process changes. It’s no longer a struggle, it’s a joy. The process of doing becomes the purpose of the doing, not the means to the ends. And in that mind space, what one wants happens fast.
Your action isn’t the main attraction
Why does this happen? Because when the mind isn’t focused on the end goal, the mind becomes open to millions of avenues leading to the goal instead of the one way one thinks it must happen.
Think about it. When focused on a particular goal, say, finding a lover, usually people think of one particular way to get that lover. The main way they think it must happen has to do mainly with their taking action to “make something happen”.
But the majority of people who get what they want, especially really big things they want, hardly ever get those things through their hard work. And usually, if they’re honest when asked, those people attribute “success” to “luck” or “god” or some other force greater than themselves that made it all possible. There’s truth to their attribution. Your action is not the main attraction.
Often, these people reach a point in their “doing” where they realize they’ve done all they can. With nothing more they can do, they give up. They surrender to “come what may”. Typically, once they give up, once they surrender, that thing they want shows up. It’s not the surrender that makes that happen. It’s what happens when they surrender.
Surrender to the journey
When one surrenders, they give up actions, but also thoughts standing between them and the easy flow of what is wanted. In other words, the person no longer stands in the way of what they want. Instead, in giving up, they become a cooperative element in the unfolding.
Another way of “surrendering” is giving up focusing on the end goal and instead enjoying the process, doing what one’s doing for no other reason than the joyful doing of the doing. A client and I talked about exactly this recently. Take a listen:
I have several really big things I’m “manifesting”. They include things 99 percent of humans will say can’t be done. But I know those things on my list are as easy for me as an eternal being, with the power of the Universe behind me, to accomplish as it is to walk from one room to another. However, I must relax into the process of their unfolding, because I too have residual belief in their impossibility.
It’s not the “impossibility” of the things I want keeping them from happening. It’s the belief in the impossibility slowing things down. So for someone like me, who wants really big things showing up, I must focus relentlessly on the journey as the goal rather than the goal itself. That’s why I see, nearly every day, evidence of their unfolding.
Everyone can enjoy fulfilled wishes
Compared to what’s on my list, finding a partner or a job or whatever is easy as pie. All that’s required is giving up thoughts contrary to what one wants. Thoughts contrary to what one wants aren’t the only ones that must go though. Thoughts seemingly having nothing to do with the goal also must go. This is why it seems to take forever for people to “manifest” something.
They aren’t willing to surrender. Meaning, they aren’t willing to give up what they must to have what they want.
Anyone can have what they want no matter what it is because the Universe is a wish-granting jewel ready to deliver ANYTHING someone can formulate desire for.
All that’s required is focusing on the reason why one wants what they want rather than focusing on the thing wanted. Doing that will naturally put one in alignment with the wanted thing, so long as the reasons feel good.
If a person can remain in those good feelings, instead of thinking about how lonely they are, or how impossible the goal seems, they’ll get what they want. It’s that easy.
Feeling good is like finding
It’s easy because when a person focuses on why they want and feel good in that, the desire itself becomes more important than the fulfillment. They don’t need the thing they want, because they already feel good without it. So the desire’s fulfillment becomes irrelevant. When a person gets there, then having what they want is icing on the cake because they already feel as they will feel when what they want comes. Feeling good about what you want is as good as having it. And when you’re there, what you want must show up.
It’s not hard shifting that focus. It can happen in as little as five minutes. You know you’ve done that when you feel good right now, even without having what you want. And again, when you feel good, you’re closer to having what you want than you think.
If you want to know more about how this all works, set up a free 1:1 and let’s talk. Let’s discover how easy it is to have anything you want. It’s not as impossible as you think. All you need is more happy. Then everything in life will come on its own accord.