This week, one of my clients—let’s call her Jane —brought something to our session many people can relate to: growing frustration with her employer.
On the surface, it looked like a straightforward situation. Several tense conversations. Feelings of insecurity and uncertainty. Interpretations that had her feeling dismissed, unseen, and emotionally tangled for days. She described a kind of internal agitation — something wasn’t sitting right, but she couldn’t tell if she was overreacting or if her intuition was trying to warn her of something.
And here’s where it got interesting.
As we followed the threads deeper, Jane realized this wasn’t just about her current employer. It wasn’t even about the comment she was interpreting. It was about much older momentum surfacing through the lens of this moment — an ingrained belief that said: “To stay safe, you must remain agreeable. To be respected, can’t be authentic.”
It was the classic conflict between authenticity and survival. Between speaking in ways aligned with what she felt and believed and keeping the peace. Between honoring her intuitive knowing and fearing the fallout of rocking the boat.
Tears to laughter
As we continued, she began to see the real source of her discomfort: not her boss, but the internalized authority figure she carried inside. The one that mirrored every boss, teacher, parent, or partner who’d ever told her—explicitly or energetically—that her voice was too much, her insight inconvenient, or her sensitivity a liability.
The moment she saw that, her energy shifted. Her struggles remained, but they softened.
What she felt wasn’t wrong. She wasn’t being “too sensitive.” Instead past momentum was resurfacing to be soothed. It’s belief momentum that had once served her, but now only blocks the flow of her sovereignty and expansion.
And here’s the beauty: Soothing that momentum didn’t require confronting her boss. She didn’t need to demand validation or placate her. Her increasing clarity wasn’t about being right in the external world — it was about reclaiming her right to feel sovereign in her being. And therefore, to be able to express herself fully, authentically.
When I described what “reclaiming” looked like, she softened. Jane’s energy shifted more and tears turned to a little laughter. What had felt like emotional blockage revealed itself as expansion in the moment — a calibration to a new version of herself. One that no longer needs to dim in order to stay safe. One that doesn’t mistake tension for danger.
The leader is waiting
What I love most about this kind of session is that the breakthrough doesn’t come from pushing against the external world. It comes from remembering who and what we are.
That’s what the Positively Focused practice is all about. We don’t fix the world by wrestling with it. After all, the world doesn’t need fixing. It’s not broken. Nor are we. We’re not broken, nor do we need fixing. Instead, by realigning with our Broader Perspective the world reflects that alignment back to us.
But sometimes, nearly always actually, finding that alignment means letting life’s contrast serve us. Not as a warning, but as an invitation.
If you’ve had a moment recently where someone rubbed you the wrong way, consider that maybe it wasn’t about them at all. Maybe they were the perfect mirror, showing you in that moment where your expansion is ready to come through. And maybe that discomfort is also serving. It’s not that something has gone wrong, rather, your Broader Perspective is inviting you to expand.
If that’s where you are, and you’d like support in making sense of it all without collapsing into it, I’d love to show you what’s possible when you meet contrast from clarity, not fear.
Sometimes the boss is just a stand-in. The real leader is waiting to be you.