Why Getting What I Want Sometimes Sucks

Photo By big-ashb

Sometimes getting what I want sucks. It sucks because the result – getting what I want – shows me something I didn’t realize. That can suck. But it also, in every case, confirms what I show my clients. It also proves from my own life the power of what I share with them.

Such results also remind me I create my reality by what I focus on. Not what I want. That’s a huge distinction. Many people think this manifestation business happens by focusing on what we want. And while that is true, usually what’s happening is we focus on something other than what we want. Then we get that. And then we say “this manifesting business doesn’t work”.

My recent client leaving demonstrates this with supreme perfection. I wrote about his departure last week. In that post I shared how he chose a life of struggle and hard work as though those things were badges of honor.

However, such a life isn’t a badge of honor. Well, it is to other humans. But I’m not here to please others. You aren’t either.

We’re here to live our lives as the Gods we are. We’re here to create unique lives consistent with that which thrills us. And, frankly, I don’t know anyone thrilled about living lives of struggle, sacrifice and pain born of working hard. Especially when such paths usually offer scant glimmers of possible success. Instead, such paths usually end in mediocre lives.

Lives lived as the gods we are lead to fun, joy and freedom. The path of struggle, hard work and sacrifice CAN lead there. But often, it doesn’t. (My artwork)

We’re all free to choose

It bears repeating. The honorable life is one lived consistent with what and who we are as Gods in human form. That’s why the masses and society in general idolize those who “walk to the beat of their own drum”, who are authentic pioneers creating something brand new or earth shattering. Rarely do such people follow society’s general life prescription.

Living that way, as powerful creators we all are, means casting off bogus beliefs so we live lives wherein everything we want happens effortlessly. Our life can include all manner of great things, where all our needs are met, just the way it happens for animals and plants in nature. I described this in my previous post.

But so many choose struggle instead. I show people how to live lives of joy. Not struggle. So my clients’ lives become the Charmed Life I write about. Not every client ultimately chooses that though. And I must be ok with their choice.

This client chose society’s general life prescription. Their choosing reminded me how powerful I am.

The power of belief

I saw tremendous potential in this client. Like other advanced practice clients, he quickly grasped the fundamentals. As a result, our conversations often included profound insights and realizations about how great life is. We also reveled over experiences he created up to that point. Experiences proving undoubtedly that the practice works. Some such manifestations which he created he originally thought impossible. Each of those thrilled both him and me.

Yet, I also saw in him a potential for “darkness”. By darkness I mean a tendency, a strong potential, that others’ bogus beliefs would sweep him up and carry him away from his emerging Charmed Life.

I likened him to Anakin Skywalker, father of the famous Star Wars Jedi, Luke Skywalker. Anakin became the Star Wars villain Darth Vader after giving into the Dark Side of the Force. Anakin’s mentor, Obi Wan Kenobi saw great potential in Anakin. But what Obi Wan and his fellow Jedi Masters also saw was potential for the Dark Side. In the same way, I saw great potential in my client. And a chance he wouldn’t fulfill that potential.

wax sculpture at the Madame Tussauds Star Wars exhibit in London depicting Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker from the prequel trilogy. The client who recently ended his membership reminded me of the power of this Star Wars character possessed. And a similar potential for succumbing to the Dark Side. (Photo By big-ashb)

Self-fulfilling prophesy

I often shared this perspective with that client. I hoped doing so would encourage his leaning into the light of his Charmed Life. In doing so I forgot how effective I am as a creator. I forgot I create my reality, including how others show up, through what I focus on. Not what I want.

The more sessions we enjoyed, the more encouraged I got about his potential. But the more potential I saw, the stronger my thoughts about him “turning” got. Since I identify strongly with Jedi lore, I recognize a lot of momentum exists in me about that lore. What I didn’t realize was how powerfully they’d create the client I ended up with.

Later in our session evolution, I sensed a “disturbance” in his way of being. He started coming to sessions less prepared. He started offering pespectives reflecting doubt and suspicion. And he started questioning my path. He became a Positively Focused version of Anakin Skywalker. Right before my eyes! He even turned to the hard-work encouraging book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People!

One day he strongly disputed the validity of the personal reality unfolding in my life. Of course, he knew his opinion of my unfolding reality was irrelevant. And he knew such doubts would create realities for him that would eventually have him leave the practice. But that didn’t stop his momentum. A momentum amplified by my own focus.

Neither he nor I was surprised when he said he wanted to end his practice. He punctuated his departure with belligerent statements, feeling offended and again disparaging my path. Remarkably, these are similar behaviors Anakin showed toward his mentor Obi Wan. He even tried killing his mentor before becoming Darth Vader.

You get what you focus on

After that interaction with my client I realized I got what I focused on. I got a promising client who chose turning away.

Of course I did not want this outcome. But looking back on thoughts I focused on the most about this client, I must admit they mainly were about him turning away from his Charmed Life. So his choice is no surprise in retrospect. After all, I’m a powerful creator. I create my total reality. That includes versions of those with whom I interact. And that includes clients with whom I work.

I’m no exception to universal laws. Just like anyone else, I create what I focus on, not what I want. Focus is key. So if I want what I want, I must focus on that. In this case, I focused on something other than what I wanted.

And I got that.

I feel like Obi Wan Kenobi. Losing his promising apprentice, Anakin, rocked Obi Wan to the core. Unlike Obi Wan, however, I know everything always works out. So I’m not going into self-imposed exile like he did. I’m not going to quit my practice or quit helping others. The client who left will be fine. And I learned something awesome. It’s an experience I’ll remember, always.

And isn’t that the great thing about all “sucky” experiences? It’s the power of their “suckiness” that makes them such awesome experiences. That is, if one can see them as awesome, instead of sucky.

This experience made me a better creator; a better spiritual teacher as well. And for that, instead of feeling sad or sucky, I’m deeply appreciative.

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