Sometimes You Gotta Seethe In Rage

Seething
Photo by David Taffet on Unsplash

Three weeks ago I wrote how every negative situation is positive. Well this week brought such a crazy-ass example of that, I shared it with all my clients. Now I want to share it with you.

This story is hilarious. I almost wrote “unflattering”, but you’ll see at the end that this story flatters me in the sense that I saw how this infuriating situation was also a massive blessing.

Summer’s sun, blue skies and Oregon’s hot breezy air called me out again last weekend. I love working outside along the Willamette River shores. I enjoy Ospreys above and salmon jumping skyward likely avoiding sea lions and their chisel like teeth.

I decided I wanted more of that, so I packed my bike. I packed light, my portable chair, my iPad and nothing more. I planned to finish reading Ross Douthat’s The Decadent Society, its insightful take on current reality had my attention for weeks now. I anticipated exploring Douthat’s take while enjoying the Oregon summer.

Beach scene
The usual spot I work from on summer Oregon days…by the Willamette’s beautiful shores… 

That’s not what happened though

Oregon’s governor recently eased lockdown mandates. With her decree, all of Oregon made similar plans. I expected a few people riverside, but wasn’t prepared for crowds that showed up.

A forty minute bike ride turned into an hour while I tried finding suitable, solitary rest stop. I finally decided on a rocky shore devoid of human for lack of any sand. But I had my chair. I didn’t need sand.

I parked my bike, set up my chair then settled into Douthat’s narrative. Thirty minutes later, a couple with two dogs showed up. The young, tattooed Portlanders led their dogs to the water’s edge, unleashed them and threw tennis balls into the river. The larger of the two dogs, a pit-bull, leapt into the water while its smaller puppy companion barked in envy. Then the puppy eased into the water, found it agreeable and went for a swim. I smiled then turned back to Douthat.

Minutes later, the puppy was licking at my bare legs. I’m not a dog person, but I can appreciate a cute pooch. On this day though, I just wanted to read in quiet on a beautiful day. It annoyed me that this dog suddenly was licking my leg. But what annoyed me more was the fact that its owner hadn’t done his legal duty of keeping his dog under control.

I lifted my legs away from the pooch, clearly annoyed, which the owner saw. He came bounding to my rescue, scooped up his dog with an apology and returned to his spot. There, he put it on a leash. His partner too re-leashed the Pit-bull.

All that was nice. But it was too late.

I got hooked in frustration-momentum

Momentum is a powerful thing. Especially negative momentum born of oft-told stories. I’ve harbored negative stories about dog owners who don’t keep their dogs leashed and therefore under control as leash laws mandate. So much so it’s one of my “pet peeves” (oh god! no pun intended!).

Recently when I read about a “Karen” from Central Park Manhattan who made a racist false police report against a fellow New Yorker who politely asked her to leash her dog in an area where a leash law was in force. The fellow New Yorker, a board member of the New York City Audubon Society who happens to be African American, recorded the whole incident. The recording went viral and popular outrage caused the woman to lose her job and her dog. Reportedly, New York is considering banning her permanently from Central Park and the District Attorney is considering pressing charges against her for making a false police report.

This story came to mind as that puppy slimed me. When its owner grabbed it and apologized, I mused whether he also thought about that Central Park incident.

The problem was, I didn’t shake the association, which would have been in my best interest. Comparing my experience to what happened to the Audubon Board Member wasn’t really fair. But old stories about my pet peeve combined with that viral Central Park experience in my head creating momentum that swept me up.

For the next half hour I couldn’t focus on my reading. My mind swirled around the association, my indignation, my annoyance and frustration….

Dog lick
I don’t hate dogs. Dogs love me as much as I love them…sometimes…🤣

What happened next was no surprise

The couple decided to pack up and leave, having I suppose, had enough time at the water’s edge. As they walked to the bike path, I heard the woman say to someone I couldn’t see “Sir, would you mind leashing your dog?”

The irony didn’t escape me. “Cosmic Justice” I thought. Little did I know said justice was just getting started…

I couldn’t hear the what the person she addressed said, but I heard what she was saying. I also got the annoyance in her tone:

“Why aren’t you willing to put your dog on a leash sir?” She asked. I turned, hoping to see who she addressed. I couldn’t see that person. She continued.

“My dog isn’t friendly,” she said. The person said something I didn’t hear.

“How many years have you been around my dog sir?” She replied. “I’m telling you my dog is not friendly.”

Apparently whoever she addressed had done nothing, so she reached down, picked up what looked like a 40 pound pit-bull and scrambled over rocks the rest of the way to the bike path with her male companion in tow.

I was thinking about karmic kickback, wondering how the couple felt now since they themselves hadn’t controlled their (little) dog. Which is why I hadn’t noticed that not seconds later another dog was sniffing at my leg!

It’s my turn…

I turned in surprise, saw the Husky, then darted around looking for the owner. Presumably this was the same person the young woman spoke with earlier. Finally I saw him sitting in a chair he set up behind me on the bike path’s edge.

My indignance increased. “Really?” I thought. “Twice in a row?” What did I expect? I create my reality. Here was the Universe serving me a big pile of pet peeve….a second helping if you will, this time via a Husky and yet another irresponsible owner.

But wait…it gets worse. Or rather, I got worse.

I should have known trying to get the owner to do anything about his scofflaw dog would be futile. After all I saw that play out just seconds ago. Never the less:

“Sir, would you please come get your dog!” I said with force ten annoyance.

The owner looked down at me, at his dog and said “he’s alright.”

“I’m not!” I said.

The owner said nothing.

At that, I’d had it!

Now I was fully in rage. That’s right, I was so angry, I was shaking. I wanted to strangle that damn dog and murder the owner. But I also knew it wasn’t the dog’s fault. So I directed all my rage (in my mind) at the owner. I wanted to first strangle him, then murder him!

I should mention I had the presence of mind at this moment to see the ironic humor here. A part of me knew what I was doing was ridiculous. It’s just a dog. But the principle folks, and the momentum of my pet peeve had me firm in its grip.

Clearly this guy wasn’t going to do anything about his dog. There was no way I could recover my state of calm at this point, not to mention focusing on Douthat’s prose. I decided then to gather my things and head home in a huff, which took all but a couple minutes.

But I couldn’t let it end that way. Noooo.

As I pushed my bike up to the bike trail, I made my “offender” clearly: white male in his 40s, beer in hand, listening to a transistor radio, minding his own business and cool as a 🥒. Perfect contrast to my seething rage, which at this point, boiled over and out my mouth:

“YOU’RE EXACTLY THE KIND OF PERSON WHO GIVES DOG OWNERS A BAD NAME!” I yelled in his general direction. I hopped on my bike and peeled away on the momentum of my righteous indignation. 😂🤣😊

That wasn’t the end of it.

A half-mile into my return trip, it struck me. What happened here? Why am I letting this situation shape how I feel? How I feel is more important than how I’m treated. In fact, I know by choosing how I interpret what happens in my life, I can create reality. Here I was doing what a noob at all this “you create your reality” business would do…

At this point, I should stop and say I know sometimes I’m going to get pissed. It’s just part of what happens when an eternal being comes into physical reality.

Thinking an enlightened person doesn’t get mad sometimes indicates misunderstanding about how physical reality works. Physical reality intentionally offers variety: things I want and things I don’t want. After all, how am I to know what I want if I don’t know what I don’t want?

How am I to know what thoughts feel better than others, if I don’t have a negative experience every now and then?

That’s what I thought one half mile into my return ride. And that’s when I decided I had the power here. I had choice.

So instead of continuing to seethe, I decided to put my attention on something else. Something more pleasing. So I noticed the blue sky. I noticed the green trees. I noticed how much I like riding my bike, how good the sun felt on my bare legs and arms, how good it feels on a Oregon summer day. In seconds I felt better. My feelings reminded me how wonderful it is working from Oregon’s riversides:

 

That’s when something amazing happened

The more I thought these thoughts, the better I felt. Then…

Ever had an experience where something happens, you react in a less than ideal way, then, later, you get a thought, an idea, an alternative way you could have responded that might have been more effective?

Well that’s what happened. In my increasing happiness I received an alternative scenario that played out in my mind. Rather than throwing a tantrum at the guy, I saw my self calmly rise, gather my things and my chair, walk up to the guy and set up my chair right next to him. So close our chairs touched side by side. Then I sat down, looked at him and began politely talking his ear off.

That’s when I burst out laughing, a belly laugh so strong it obliterated my anger. I let this alternative reality play through my mind, adding humorous bits here and there – I saw him looking at me surprised, then trying to ignore me, then suddenly packing up his things and stomping off, dog in tow off leash. I imagined him and I actually having a friendly conversation, chatting away like best friends. I imagined him and I sitting there, me chatting away and he trying to ignore my chatting tsunami in quiet annoyance…

And you know what happened next? The entire situation changed for me. No longer did I see him as the idiot epitome of bad dog ownership. Instead he became a shining example of what I could be.

Consider this:

  • This guy was doing his own thing, oblivious to what others thought and said about him
  • This guy was in his own reality, enjoying his life with his dog. So was the dog!
  • This guy had presence of mind, a centeredness so powerful, he appeared unphased by not only one, but two verbal aggressors trying to knock him off his rocker

As much as I want to vilify him, he demonstrated to me vibrational mastery. And at that point he went from villain to teacher.

I want to be like that. I want to be calm in the face of storms.

And, in fact I am, nearly all the time.

Which is another thing he taught me: that I am that nearly all the time.  When I’m not, there’s always something great in the experience I learn about myself and about my Positively Focused practice.

Dream-Reality Paradox

Sharing this entry from my journal as it may benefit others.

^^Bent knees discover great shots.

I’m on a walk. I was listening to a podcast when dreams I had this morning again flowed into my awareness as they do in sleep state, only I’m awake and walking.

^^the path along my walk

My brain is not a filing cabinet. It does not house “memories” in tidy, organized compartments within and among its folds. Rather, it is a frequency transmitter/receiver (as are other organs) sending and receiving signals controlled and emitted by nonphysical sense organs. Sense organs correspond to physical senses. Everyone uses these chaotically in dreams. Most are unaware of them during wake state.

These nonphysical senses are imperceptible when I focus exclusively on physical existence, yet I can deliberately, more and more control these in sleep state and wake state as I practice being Positively Focused. All this I know, not theoretically, but empirically.

As an emerging master

I know then these delicious, ecstatic and lucid images and sounds and feelings, returning to my awareness while waking and walking, mean that on my walk I tapped into frequencies matching dream state frequencies.

Their arrival also means my Positively Focused practice pays off: I dream even while walking, meaning, my awareness simultaneously perceives in wake state and dreamscape. No small feat indeed.

The first images returning feature a tumultuous sea restrained and yet cooperating with a sea wall. As I focus here, now on these images, by virtue of my practice, many other dream scenes now flow/return to my awareness.  Waves of magnificent and infinite amplitude and power crash against these walls. Yet, despite the appearance of conflicting purposes — the sea’s desire to vanquish and thus overflow the wall, the wall’s desire to hold back the sea — the feeling tone of their combined energies is harmony of purpose, joyful energy sharing and mutual acknowledgement of one another’s role in the collective representation of that which my Inner Being is using to communicate with me, the wake state version of my Inner Being awareness.

That’s worth reading a second time. 😌

But wait…there’s more…

Recognizing this, waves of appreciation and joy sweep over me…not unlike these dream waves…overcoming resistance that once was my total exclusive focus in physical reality. For there once was a time when I didn’t know for certain, as I do now, nonphysical’s existence, nor was I, back then, aware I dreamt.

With that certainty now flows what’s known as “the secrets of the Universe”, known as that only because so few take time to find them.

Through these secrets I draw to me dream interpretation clarity:

  • The tumultuous sea represents massive changes underway in the broader context.
  • The massiveness of the waves and their power represent the intensity of my focus and my intention that Great Good result from all this (which is what’s happening).
  • The wall represents humanity’s resistance to the change.
  • The cooperative nature of both represent cocreation of a future bringing tectonic shifts in some humans, and my own awareness, which must equal identical shifts in my reality and collective reality.

Indeed, my perspective in this dream is not that of standing on the sea wall, nor on the tumultuous sea. Rather it is above both. A “God’s eye” view. That positioning too coordinates and cooperates with both wall and sea, meaning, I am both and more.

^^Trees and grass, roots and soil

Writing that sends shivers down my spine right now, indicating at the same time the accuracy of my interpretation and my Inner Being’s exaltation in my extraordinary clarity.

Oh how I stand in the now, focused on trees and grass, roots and soil, leaves and sky, eager and joyful knowing, not by faith, but by the clarity of my life experience, that everything is working out, that I am blessed, as all are, and that I am the center of the Universe, God in human form.

^^…leaves and sky

And that is why I encourage and practice being positively deranged through a Positively Focused practice. It feels so good. And feeling good brings delight, insight as well as real life experiences matching that.

The Great Pause IS Good

Beauty in nature will persist no matter how obscure human eyes become. Sometimes though, human eyes get clear. The Great Pause IS good. Can you see it? In the future humanity will look back at this time as a great opportunity. Why not see it that way now? Some people do, like those who took time to share their experiences and their memories.

I Put God To The Test. Here’s What Happened.

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Photo by Oscar Sutton on Unsplash

It’s fun putting God to the test and watching God exceed my test expectations. That’s what happened this morning on my walk.

I know I am God in a human body. Don’t freak out reading that. Everyone is God in human bodies.

Sometimes it’s nice testing my godhood. It’s fun, and it assures me my desires are flowing easily into my life experience. Evidence abounds in that regard, but, every so often creating an event immediately tells me, yup! I’m doing it, I’m creating my reality.

The challenge with creating reality and the reason so many try this “manifestation business” and fail, is because specificity and focus are important. People who fail at creation don’t realize their “failure” actually is success. Here’s why.

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Every human being is a God in human form, creating reality through their interaction with it. Conscious creation is more joyful…for obvious reasons. Putting God to the test is fun too. Especially when I delight myself by exceeding my expectations.

If I want something really bad, that’s great, so long as I’m focused on what it is I want. It’s easy, though, in my focus on what I want, to instead focus on the opposite of what I want, which is the absence of what I want, or what I already have.

For example, say I want a new relationship and I’m in a relationship I don’t like. If I focus on all the things I don’t like about the relationship I have, and focusing there, I ask for a new relationship, I’m not going to manifest a new relationship. Instead, I’m going to manifest more of what I have: the relationship I’ve got.

I know I must turn my focus to what I want, not what I’ve got. I know I’ve done that by using my emotions as my guide. I know I’m getting what I want when I feel great in the now, the Moment of Becoming.

The Universe will deliver the essence of everything I ask for. Testing this assertion helps calibrate my focus so I know when I’m focusing on what I want instead of what I don’t. It’s a fun way of refining that important skill.

HOW_I_THINK
I know thinking thoughts that feel good makes getting what I want easy.

So that’s what I did this morning. I like testing God (that’s me) by using subjects I don’t have lots of desire about. It’s easier focusing when there isn’t a lot of momentum behind the desire itself. Here’s what I did:

I said I wanted to see a rabbit on my walk somewhere. I live in an urban neighborhood in Portland, Oregon. Houses and apartments and paved streets and alleys define my neighborhood. There aren’t a lot of wooded areas, so seeing a wild rabbit would be amazing. But I knew I can manifest anything I want if my desire is strong enough and, most importantly, my resistance to the desire is weak or non existent.

I focused on how it would feel seeing a rabbit. I held that image for a little over a minute, to get the creative momentum moving. In my imagination I saw the rabbit’s brown fur, its black eyes….I thought about petting the rabbit and how soft it would feel so long as it didn’t bite me 😂. That made me feel happy, a crucial indicator.

I’m clear All That Is delivers the essence of what ask. I know that often means delights beyond my specific ask. So it’s better asking generally rather than specifically because what comes can be missed if I’m too specific about what I want. So while I asked for a rabbit, what I focused on was the fur, the eyes and how it would feel to see something like that in my city.

Then I dropped it. I paid no attention to my request. I enjoyed my walk, the city, the morning air, the flowers and other people out walking.

It was a nearly four mile walk. Returning to the house where I live, I turned a corner one block from home and…not 20 feet in front of me….was a coyote. It looked at me with black eyes…and it had brown fur.

A Coyote a few steps right in front of me! In the middle of town!

Before I could snap a picture with my phone, it ran off around the corner, but as I got to the end of the block, it came running back around the corner. That’s when I got a video of her!

God passed! What a demonstration!

I know I am God in a physical body. I know I create reality through my interaction with it. My thoughts and emotions tell me what creations I’m creating. I share my experiences through this blog because the sharing is fun, but also to encourage others into their full creative potential so they can have as much fun as I’m having.

It really is fun creating reality. I love putting God to the test and then seeing how I exceed my own expectations.

What Life Looks Like When It’s Fun

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Life is supposed to be fun. Fun and delightfully surprising.

What makes life that way are little things happening all day every day. Things I used to miss before I got Positively Focused.

Not every “manifestation” is a great, big wish-fulfilling, earth-shaking event. I know if I focus too much on trying to have those, not only do such events come less often, I miss the many, many little events that make life sweet fun.

I’ll try getting these little stories out the day they happen. Really though, these things happen so often, I can’t even capture them all in my journal. Let alone share them in my blog(s). Still, starting with what happened today, I’m going to try to share more of them…It’s fun sharing them.

· · ·

I needed to get groceries this morning. It’s thirty-seven degrees outside. Rain was predicted around 11. I wanted to go and get back before the rains came.

I noticed my skull cap wasn’t where I keep it. These days, when something seems missing, I don’t think of it as “lost”. Something seen as “lost” connects me with a reality in which that thing really is lost. Then I can’t find it.

Instead, I think “where is it?” then I let the question go. That way, I can tune into the reality in which the thing is there.

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The basket where my bike and winter accessories live.

That happened with my skull cap. I kept getting ready. I walked over to the basket where I keep my winter gear. Knowing it’s cold outside, I reached for my riding mittens. One of the other gloves in the basket fell behind my camera bag sitting on the floor.

I reached to get the glove, got it, then felt something else there. Guess what it was?

That’s right, my skull cap.

No looking for it. The glove falling led me there. No effort on my part. That was cool. More cool though was having awareness of that. That made me smile.

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Behind my camera bag. It’s darker than this. I had the lights on high to take the picture. 

The second thing happened ten minutes later.

I keep a journal. Sometimes I include things like that skull cap event in there. I also write about bigger things that happen. I track my weight, walks and mindfulness minutes too through my “health/activity” app.

That app also tracks cycling. It connects to another app I use that records rides and runs. But I didn’t know how to connect the two apps.

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Some of the data I keep track of in my journal.

Instead of trying to figure it out, I did the same thing I did with the skull cap. I asked the question, then let it go. A bit later and ready for the grocery errand, I opened the bike app. By “accident” I hit some feature. I don’t know what it was, but it brought up a screen I hadn’t seen before.

My Inner Being said “look at the screen”. So I did.

It had two features that were disabled. I enabled them. Presto! My two apps were connected.

I just tried finding that riding app screen real quick, but I don’t see it. It doesn’t matter though because the two apps are now connected. Easy peasy!

That’s how life is. Easy peasy. It’s supposed to be that way. Little magical events like these make it so. Being Positively Focused, I see these events happening near constantly. Which they are. But I miss them if I’m not Positively Focused. And so, for me, life is exactly as it’s supposed to be. Fun!

 

How The Universe Expands

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***LET’S FINE TUNE THIS: I wrote “kind of like” a reward. Life has no “rewards”. That word implies someone is there watching and approving or disapproving what choices I make. That’s not what’s happening. No one judges what I do or don’t do. Manifestation of my ideal reality is part of the natural expansion of which I’m playing a part. A central part. I’m the chooser free to choose whatever I wish to experience.