The end of my marriage started with my wife wanting an open relationship. It was the best thing that happened in our marriage.
Through her desire for an open relationship, I found the best relationship ever.
Many people going through what I went through feel scared, or insecure or betrayed. I felt eagerness. What did I know that others don’t? Something extraordinary was happening.
Feeling fear, insecurity or betrayal, you miss the extraordinary.
I started Positively Focused so people could get what I got: When your partner wants an open relationship and you don’t, or vice versa, an extraordinary thing is happening.
Open relationships: either partner may want one
Many years ago, it was me who wanted an open relationship. My wife (now ex-wife) and I were in counseling, doing what many couples do: trying to fix things not needing fixing.
I married her because she needed to be married. I loved her, but that’s not why I married her. I didn’t want to be married.
She did not like not being married. I’m always the bridesmaid but never the bride, she’d say. Her mother convinced her she’d never get married. Her mother claimed her daughter had unlovable qualities. That’s accurate. But ironically, those qualities came from her mother.
I know now everyone chooses their parents. My then wife chose her’s and the path we walked together. She didn’t know this during our early years together. Neither did I.
Back then I thought “maybe I could help her get over this upbringing by doing the one thing that would show her mother she was wrong.” So I gave her what she wanted. A ring and a marriage.
It didn’t help. That complaint went away. But other things happening in my wife, and in me, made our relationship….let’s call it…typical.
For one, when we met, I was looking for a transgender partner. She was looking for a woman. I am out and proud about my trans-attraction, having created a website, The Transamorous Network. My online dating profile clearly expressed my preference.
She said she knew we were a match regardless.
That’s true. We weren’t a marriage match. We were a match for other reasons. Reasons driving us both towards our authentic selves.
I see that now. You are on the same path.
• • •
Don’t think this is unusual. Many things bring couples to the alter. My father, for example, once married a foreigner so she could stay in the US. I know a guy who married a transgender woman for the same reasons. They don’t live together. Never have.
A Transamorous Network client of mine, who is himself trans-attracted, knew he was trans-attracted well before marrying his cisgender wife. He married her anyway. He feared telling her the truth because he didn’t want to lose her. It’s not likely their counseling will fare any better than me and my ex-wife’s.
Many people marry while not wanting monogamy. But like my trans-attracted client, many people hide who they are out of insecurity or inauthenticity. Some people not wanting monogamy get married anyway. Marriage will test inauthenticity. My client couldn’t handle being inauthentic. So he (seemingly unwittingly) sabotaged his marriage. He hooked up with a trans sex worker who outed him on Facebook.
Your life experience trumps your marriage. It (your life experience) demands your authentic self. It finds ways around your inauthenticity so your authenticity can shine.
That’s the purpose of all human relationships: they point us to our authentic selves. They aren’t meant to give us love, belonging companionship and security, although some do temporarily. Relationships are processes. They’re verbs. Not nouns.
Most believe relationships endure. “Death do us part” go the vows.
But relationships are “until growth do us part”. You may ask, growth towards what? Towards greater authenticity.
Some people understand this: relationships reflect who we as individuals are. They do that so we live authentically. Relationships represent physical examples of our inner ideals, concepts and beliefs about ourselves. Those ideals, concepts and beliefs get presented to us through our relationship dynamic, warts and all.
People get bored in their relationships because their relationships have become, as someone I respect says, “like gum you’ve chewed all the flavor out of.” When someone decides it’s time for a new piece of gum, relationship-wise, it means they’re growing into more of who they are.
Open relationships do what one-on-one relationships do, times 1,000.
While in counseling, I wanted my wife and I to explore open relationships together. But I knew back then she wasn’t ready. She was far too insecure to give that a try. Later, when she decided she was going to have an open relationship, it was no question whether we’d do it together. She was going to do it. Without me.
I think she justified her decision by first telling me I could sleep with whoever I wanted. I described how that happened here. It was effortless how it happened from my perspective.
But, by the time it happened, I was so far into the spiritual life evidenced by this blog, I wasn’t interested.
Instead, the growth that had my wife demand and act on her open relationship desires, flung me further into my relationship with my Inner Being. I haven’t looked back. And I regret none of the journey.
The best relationship I could ever want
My Inner Being relationship brings more satisfaction, joy, peace, security and a sense of invulnerability no other relationship can match. What’s more, my Inner Being relationship allows a reality, a life experience, in which everything I want comes so easily, it’s ridiculous. I write about these experiences in this blog.
This Inner Being relationship enriches me spiritually too. New dimensions I discover about me and life astonish me daily. I can’t imagine a human-human relationship matching that.
What’s really interesting though is how much love I feel. I feel a total, unconditional love moving through me…for me…from me…from my Inner Being.
I get it now. Through my experience with my wife’s desire for an open relationship, I now have the best relationship I could ever want. It’s not with another person. It’s with me. The inevitability is clear. I got the best life through my wife having sex with other men.
These days, for me, people relationships pale in comparison to the relationship I have with me.
Think about it: what human being can and will give me literally whatever I want? No one!
What relationship with another human can give me the unconditional love I feel from my Inner Being? A wife is not going to do that. A husband won’t. It’s not another person’s job to orchestrate the Universe in ways that bring me what I want. Or to give me unconditional love.
Love I might get from people can’t match what I get from my Inner Being. My Inner Being relationship makes being in relationship with another person…well, not as high-falutin’ as society makes it.
I know that’s because generally, people don’t understand love, let alone why we have emotions in the first place. They don’t understand unconditional love. Another person will never love you unconditionally.
Why? It’s not their job.
A lot of relationships are based on that premise though. That’s what relationship failure looks like before a relationship fails – people looking for (unconditional) love in the wrong place: other people.
You get that from yourself. Not others. Getting lasting, inexhaustible love from yourself not only is easy, with results that are immediate, it’s also fun. You’d think it magical, if it weren’t so eminently logical. It starts with being Positively Focused.
Many people going through what I went through feel scared, insecure, betrayed or some other negative emotion. They don’t know something extraordinary can come from what’s happening. So they get pain and frustration instead of joy and freedom.
Which is why I started Positively Focused.
When your partner wants an open relationship and you don’t, or when you want one and they don’t, you’ve come to a crossroads. What happens next can be extraordinary.
Bonus content:
After writing this I received a question: “But what if I want to keep my marriage?”
The answer is, “That depends on how you think about marriage”. You can keep your marriage. But not if you think that means it stays how it was, with the person you’re with.
Marriage brings comfort, security, peace, relief from being alone, perhaps, companionship, and sexual satisfaction (for a while). But a person doesn’t need “marriage” or a relationship to have these things. In fact, relying on another (through a relationship) to get these things is a sure recipe to sooner or later, lose them.
The best place to get these things is from yourself. When you do, people relationships that come through that connection are far stronger and more satisfying.
Remember, your marriage or any relationship reflects back to you stories you’re telling that create the marriage. Fixing your marriage doesn’t work if you’re oblivious to stories you’re telling that create the marriage you have.
If you leave your current relationship or marriage for another, while not doing anything about the stories, you’re just going to get more of what you had. Only with a different person. Or a number of different persons. Open relationships don’t solve anything. Nothing needs solving.
Stories create reality. Change reality by changing stories you tell about reality. Including the reality that is your marriage.
I spoke with a client a couple days ago. He was in major distress. He’s a new client, struggling with his beliefs about a “diagnosis” he is allowing to shape his life experience.
He’s learning “diagnoses” are just beliefs with a lot of momentum. Therefore, any “diagnosis” can be reversed. He only need allow more momentum for the “diagnosis”-free state. When he does, that “diagnosis” will exit his life experience.
My client already is proving this to himself. He’s having improvement. But his focus is still too much on beliefs associated with “diagnosis”. So he often comes to our sessions in anguish.
A couple days ago he was distraught, in fear and crying uncontrollably. I helped him soothe that condition using the Positively Focused framework. He could have done this himself. Clients further along do this on their own. But Chris doesn’t quite trust himself.
Then told him if he practiced more deliberately what he is learning, he would see more improvement.
Two days later, he wrote me a message. He noticed improvement not long after talking the first time. Then he received a message from his Inner Knowing. It was a clear message to rest.
But he also had an appointment with a doctor.
Instead of following is Inner Knowing and skipping the appointment, he went to the doctor, who, of course prescribed Chris some pills. That night Chris didn’t sleep at all. Not sleeping at all is one of the indicators of his manifesting “diagnosis”.
As you can see from his messages above, he was hard on himself. That’s when I clued him in on what’s really going on:
After sending those messages, I got on my bike to head to a class. The path I take offers many options to get there. I usually take a path that includes crossing railroad tracks. The day before, on the way home, I noticed a train crossing the road. So I took the alternate path home. I’m getting to a point… 🙄
The path I take to my destination and my “inspired” alternate route over the tracks.
This morning, on the way to that class, I got close to where the tracks are. That’s when I got a message from my Inner Being. It said “take the [alternate path]”. At the same time, I saw in my mind’s eye, a train crossing the road, blocking traffic.
So I took the alternate path. Halfway over the road that passes over the train tracks, I got goose pimples. Then I felt a rush of exhilaration. That’s when I got how my client’s experience overlapped my own.
I received a message from my Inner Knowing just like he had. Only I followed it. And look what happened. Had I not followed my inner guidance, I would have been late.
I followed it though, so I got to class in plenty of time. I had so much time, in fact, I caught a video of the train…and wrote an entry about it in my journal.
When I got to class, I sent my client the video and told him how wonderful this was as a demonstration for him, but also for me, reminding me and showing him that our Inner Beings know everything about what we’re wanting and how to get it. No matter how big or small, our Inner Being is on it!
This is how lining up with my inner knowing allows an effortless life. A life free of little annoyances. My Inner Knowing knows what I want and how to get it. And because it’s constantly showing me that, I can have a life that seems…well magical. If I tune into the guidance I’m sending me.
Anyone can have a life like this.
It seems like magic. Only it’s not magic. It’s just what happens when I get Positively Focused.
I think it’s awesome how both of us, my client and me, benefitted from this experience.
And I’m excited for my client’s continued adventure into his delightful life, free of that diagnosis. Soon he will have an amazing story to tell. Just like my client Tamar.
When Tamar signed up for her first 1:1 spiritual mentoring session almost two years ago, she was living in a tent in the backyard of a house she owned in Australia. Back then, Tamar had a dream, she said, of one day circumnavigating the Australian continent by sea…
I got this direct message (above) from her last week. Here’s Tamar’s story, in her own words:
“I used to live in a tent in the back yard of the house I owned. Now, I have found my joy like never before…and I’m free.
…I knew I was different at an early age. Gentle, caring, and quite frankly horrified at the expectations that were thrust upon me. I had no concept of being transgender back then. I tried to prove my masculinity, to others and myself, by working extremely “manly” jobs. Those jobs took their toll on my body. Finally owning my transgender identity took its toll on my marriage.
While I raised my four kids successfully, under a roof I paid for, before my transition, I was living estranged from my family and wife in a tent in the backyard of the house I spent all my working life affording.
Needless to say that fact left me bitter, resentful and unhappy.
The jobs I worked left me on disability. I used to think being transgender was a handful in and of itself. But in addition to that, I was diagnosed with PTSD, and an anxiety disorder.
I would literally have panic attacks when around crowds. Even the thought of being around strangers left me feeling exposed, anxious, fearful and alone. That’s to say nothing about finding a romantic male partner. For me, romance was not even on the table.
Then I encountered Positively Focused. All along I knew myself to be a divine character, but my life experience and the stories I created were making a life that matched that seem like a pipe dream: how could I live who I knew myself to be when I faced so many obstacles?
So when I found Positively Focused, I was in an extremely negative space. And not just emotionally.
After just six Positively Focused sessions, I created an entirely new reality for myself. I’m now living in a nice apartment that came to me…seemingly miraculously.
I have more money, my privacy and I’m far, far from that living situation I dreaded every moment I was there.
But more importantly is how I feel. I’m in the best condition I’ve been in. Ever. Looking back at that first session, I don’t even recognize myself!
A new life has begun. A freer one. All my dreams I put on hold are in sight.
It’s great to be out of that tent. After I have settled in, and rested a while, I’ll be ready to find a friend.
It’s strange. Not long ago, I had given up on getting away from that old living situation. I had started shopping online for hiking gear, spending my money. I had come to the conclusion that if I was going to live in a tent anyway, the peace of the woods was better than where I was. I was getting ready to be homeless.
But then I received a call from a person I spoke to a couple of weeks ago. They gave me the unit I had asked for. I found it odd, that within hours of “letting go”, I was given what I wanted/needed.
Intriguing, and exciting also, perhaps.
Needless to say, I’ve benefitted tremendously from my Positively Focused experience. I realize my case may be extreme. But if Positively Focused can turn my life around, it can certainly do wonders for yours.”
Tamar wrote that in 2018. As I’ve said, as momentum increases, life gets better and better. For Tamar, that means living dreams once put on hold.
“Realists” criticize people who have their head in the clouds, who see the glass as overflowing. Pollyanna gets a bad wrap from people who think they’re being real, when they’re actually being pessimistic.
Meanwhile those who are Pollyanna – who see the world Positively Focused – are getting lives they love.
It’s easy to get people to do what I want. Being Positively Focused is the key.
These two stories show what I mean.
I have a friend I’ll call Jeff. Lately he’s been involved with a guy he’s head-over-heels for. So he spends nearly all his free time with that guy.
One day I sent Jeff a text inviting him over. He texted back saying he was pretty busy and offered the following week. That never happened.
Two weeks later I was riding my bike to get groceries. On my way I thought about Jeff. Then, I thought how great it would be to see a super hero movie. It had been a while since I saw one.
A day after buying my groceries, I realized I “accidentally” left at the register a bag of mixed nuts I bought. I called the store. They said the checker remembered me and invited me to come get a replacement. I told them I’d head that way, weather depending.
I was enjoying creating art for my projects that morning. I really didn’t want to go. But then I got a strong impulse to go. I try to immediately respond to strong impulses.
So I checked the weather. No rain until afternoon. I jumped on my bike and headed over.
On my way, I rode past Jeff’s home. His door upstairs was open, which I thought was strange because his car wasn’t there.
Then, guess who comes around the corner in his car. It’s Jeff! We greet and hug. He tells me he just broke up with his boyfriend. I told Jeff that was perfect because now he can hang out with me.
He laughed and said, “and yeah, maybe we can go see a movie too. I hear that new Joker is really great. We should go this Sunday!”
See the connection? Just the other day I thought how cool it would be to see another comic book movie and here Jeff is suggesting we go to one. And, since “accidentally” forgot some nuts, I was able to connect with him in perfect timing, in person! How cool is that?
· · ·
I’m learning to interpret impulses I get as open doors. I don’t have to walk through. When I do, though, life delivers all kinds of surprises.
The week comes to an end. I haven’t been thinking about Jeff, or the movie he suggested we go see. But on Friday I heard a movie review. The movie stars Brad Pitt. It’s called Ad Astra. It sounded good.
I thought about Jeff and our Sunday plans. Then I thought, “I’d rather see Ad Astra than Joker.”
Sunday morning comes. I wake to wonderful dreams, enjoy a deep meditation and do a dream analysis. Then I prepare for my day using my Positively Focused framework.
I need next week’s groceries, so I check the weather. There’s a 90-minute rain-free window that comes…and goes.
I miss it.
So I put on my rain gear, take out my bike and head to get next week’s groceries.
Now, I know I’m in in tune with the Universe because of what happens in my moment-by-moment life experience. When I’m in tune, the weather cooperates. People are friendly and generous.
Just before I head out, the rain stops. When I get to the store, I meet all kinds of friendly people. I have great conversations with other customers. Store employees are helpful and conversant. Pleasant too.
A continuous stream of happy people coming into my life indicates a strong connection with my Inner Being and the Universe. (My illustration)
I know I’m in a great Positively Focused place. So it was no surprise what happened next.
I get a text message. It’s from Jeff. It says: “what do you think about seeing Ad Astra?”
Of course the story doesn’t end there. We ended up going to the movie and having a great time.
· · ·
This next experience came six months later. The more I’m Positively Focused the gap between one seemingly magical event and the next narrows. These days, magical things happen near-constantly. Only it’s not magic. The universe want’s all of us to have what we want.
The more I tune into universal frequencies, the more things I want happen with no effort. Including people acting in ways I’d prefer.
I’ve said in previous posts I ride my bike to and from work. I like riding my bike, even in cold weather. It’s a great workout. The trip takes about 30 minutes.
But it’s late fall, early winter. It’s getting really cold and rainy. I have the right riding equipment. So I’m comfortable, but one day I wondered about how it would be when temperatures dip below freezing.
One night at the end of my shift, I had a thought. It said “Diane is going to offer to drive me home tonight.” Diane is another delivery driver.
When she drives home each night, she drives right by my house. I’ve never asked her for a ride because I like riding my bike. But this night, I had this thought.
When I got this thought, I let it sit there. I didn’t think about it any more than it was: a passing thought. But I imagined how nice it would be riding home in a warm car…
I clocked out. Then Diane came in. She clocked out, turned to me and said “let me take you home tonight. I’m worried about you riding home in the dark, at night, in the rain.”
I wasn’t surprised. I knew this was going to happen. When it happened, that’s what it felt like. That it was going to happen.
The next several weeks rain fell heavy. Winds blew hard and it was really cold. It’s like Diane knew the future.
Not only did Diane offer to drive me home. When we got to my house, she offered to pick me up the next day too.
Every day since then, we’ve been carpooling to and from work. I didn’t have to ask. It just happened.
I’m starting to interpret some thoughts as precognition. My Inner Being told me it was going to happen. Then it happened.
· · ·
A manifestation, no matter how amazing, always contains seeds for the next manifestation. Life is always getting better for a Positively Focused person. So even when something really cool happens, life says “hold my beer” and tops it. What happens next demonstrates that.
I was enjoying riding to and from work with Diane. We became friends. But Diane has a story about money related to her family. Right now she’s the main bread winner as her husband is in school learning to become a teacher. Diane believes she must maximize her income as the bread winner.
What that means is, every evening, Diane would hang out at the van lot, or at the station and stretch out her shift to earn extra hourly time. I didn’t like that very much. I preferred to get home asap so I can write blogs like this one, draw or do other things.
While I didn’t like what was happening I didn’t try doing anything about it. I didn’t talk to Diane about it. I didn’t complain. Instead I considered the positives: being driven home. Not biking in the cold rain…
Honestly, though, there were times when I complained to myself a little. Sometimes I debated whether or not I should go back to riding my bike. I thought how nice it used to be getting home before 9 p.m.
Commuting by car was nice too though.
Then one morning when Diane picked me up, she said she needed to finish right when our shift ended. She said she planned to take her daughter out for her birthday. We finished right on time that night and got home early.
That felt nice.
Diane and I coordinating so we get off right at the end of our shift.
The next day I asked her how the birthday event was. Then I said “it was nice to get home early. Wasn’t it?”
She agreed.
Then, the following day, Diane told me that her husband asked why was she was coming home so late all the time. He reminded her they were doing fine financially. There was no reason, he said, for her to work extra time each shift.
It’s interesting how that conversation happened. I had nothing to do with it. And yet at the same time, I knew my Inner Being’s hands (if it had hands) were all over this.
So when Diane told me what her husband said, I just said very casually how nice it would feel to come home early every night.
From that day forward, we always left no later than 15 minutes after our shift. That was nice! Because of that, I got home 15 minutes earlier than had I took my bike.
I can tell Diane likes coming home early. I’m sure her husband does too.
Both these stories show how intending rather than trying to control people creates my reality. The more Positively Focused I get, the more life just starts working this way. Things happen literally with no effort on my part.
And the fact that I recognize it when it happens delights the Universe. And that makes the Universe want to deliver more such experiences. That’s the upward spiral I referred to in earlier posts. The better it gets, the better it gets.
It’s easy to get people to do what you want. The key is lining up with the leverage of the Universe. I do that by being Positively Focused.
When I’m Positively Focused, the Universe does all the work. Things I want come easily. Often they come through other people. When it happens this way, the people are more than willing to do what I want because doing it is in their best interest too.
And that’s the easiest way to have other people do what you want: let the Universe make it happen for you.
Music is powerful. It can literally shape life experience. So I’m careful about what songs I listen to these days. Here’s why.
One day last fall started as usual: in high spirits. The day itself was glorious – clear blue sky, leaves changing with the season and mild but comfortable temperatures. It was a great day to be working outside.
I was happy. Adding to my delight was my music playlist. It’s a collection of about two thousand songs gathered over many years. So it’s a nice, eclectic mix.
But then it happened. I don’t know how, at first. There I was, happy, enjoying my day. So why was I suddenly feeling sorry for myself, cranky and in a bad mood?
I’m almost always positive these days.
But in this moment I felt so negative, I even questioned whether I create my reality!
Srsly? 😕
A beautiful fall day was the start of an extraordinary experience (my photo).
My clients have this experience too sometimes. One minute they’ll be positively focused. Then, seemingly for no reason, they’re sad.
But how could this negative emotion blindside me?
That was the wrong question.
What I should have asked was, how did I miss early stage indicators that I had diverged from my Broader Perspective?
I know I can never completely disconnect from my Broader Perspective. But it is possible to think thoughts inconsistent with what my Broader Perspective knows. When that happens I feel negative emotion. I know that’sthe only reason negative emotions happen.
Negative emotion tells me I’ve parted perspectives. I’m no longer seeing life through my Broader Knowing.
When I see life the way my Broader Perspective does, I feel great.
When I feel negative emotion, I’m pretty good at catching it. When I do, I either relax and chill, or change my thoughts.
As I said, I’ve gotten really good at that. That’s why I feel ecstasy or near-ecstasy most of the time. Because of that, happy things happen in my life. I write about these in this blog.
Since I know what emotions are for, I know that if I miss an early indicator, my negative mood will worsen…until life smacks me upside the head with a physical manifestation matching that mood.
I don’t like it when things get that far.
So I usually catch bad moods early. Usually very early, like on their first indication.
So how did this negative mood get so far?
Before I go into what what happened next, some non-physical background might be helpful…
Now I don’t blame people who don’t believe all this manifestation business. I wouldn’t believe it either if I didn’t know how to see the evidence.
Thankfully I know how to see the evidence. And, I understand why it seems manifestations take so long or never happen at all. One reason “it doesn’t work” or takes a long time has to do with resistance.
Unlike non-physical or Inner Reality, Physical Reality comes with a lot of resistance or friction. It’s as real as the nose on my face.
My Illustration
Engineers design physical objects with this friction or resistance in mind. That’s why high performance cars and airplanes and boats look how they look. That’s why tires wear out. It’s why rockets look really streamlined…instead of looking like bricks.
Just as cars and airplanes and boats need an initial push to overcome resistance and another force, what physicists call “inertia”, it takes persistence and focused attention to change my immediate now, especially a now I may not want, into a preferred now.
Focused attention is just like a push. The more pure the focus, the stronger the push.
But, unlike cars and airplanes and rockets too, it doesn’t take a lot of focused energy to get reality moving in a different direction. To build momentum a reality creator only needs thoughts with no contradictory energy.
And so, as I started telling new stories about how I felt, I knew my reality started changing at once. It took several deliberate hours for a complete and permanent shift from my negative now to the positive now I wanted. But an early indication that change was on the way was how much better I felt telling the new, improved stories.
Now, you may be saying “several hours? You said it was immediate!”
It is immediate. But full-blown manifestational change must come through physical reality’s inherent resistance. Movement from initial signs to full-blown manifestation is therefore gradual.
As this graphic illustrates, there’s more resistance in physical reality than elsewhere. That’s why there’s an APPARENT delay in manifestations. If you know how to see the evidence, “apparent delay” disappears leaving you free to witness manifestations manifesting at once. (My Illustration)
Still, compare a few hours to the years or decades a person might invest trying to shake off “negative” emotions such anxiety, depression, chronic fear or even simple pessimism.
These negative states are hard to shake because the person waited too long to turn them around. Know how to see early manifestational evidence of negative situations and any chronic negative trajectory can easily be reversed.
Any reversal must happen before too much momentum gets going. Otherwise it can take a long time. It can take an entire life time. It might never change.
A rocket sits on the launch pad. You “light the fires and kick the tires”. If you abort the launch sequence soon enough stopping the rocket is easy.
But if you wait until the rocket has launched and gained altitude and momentum….well, you’re not going to stop that rocket easily.
The same is true for any negative manifestation.
My Illustration
I caught my “rocket” on the launch pad so that sour mood didn’t get any momentum. A few hours was nothing. And it was time well spent. Here’s why.
My Past Is Now And Vice Versa
As those hours ticked by, I saw more and more evidence the process was working. That awareness built on itself, creating its own momentum. And as that momentum strengthened, something happened I wasn’t expecting.
I felt/got/heard/saw a message from non-physical. It was communication from Broader Perspective. It said a song in my playlist, one that played several hours ago, triggered an old belief constellation. It said I formed that belief constellation in the past in response to an experience I had that I interpreted (way back then) as negative.
Back then, that song was popular. It played on the radio a lot. I liked that song so much I put it in my collection. I played it often. Even during that negative experience. In doing so, I forged an association in my belief constellation between the song and the experience I interpreted as negative.
So the song, playing that day on my route in the present, triggered a belief constellation I formed in that past experience. A constellation I hadn’t activated since, until I heard that song!
Beliefs in that constellation are so divergent from how my Broader Perspective interpreted that past experience it caused me to diverge from my Broader Perspective in the present. That’s why I felt bad!
When the message ended, I was puzzled. Driving my van, I remembered the song in question. It was vague in my mind, you know? Like when a word is there, but not there in your head, and you say “it’s on the tip of my tongue”. But you can’t say the actual word, even though it’s there?
That’s how the song was. Right there, but not right there. I couldn’t get the title or lyrics in my head. But I knew which song my Broader Perspective meant.
Why do you think I couldn’t put my finger on it?
It’s because my creation process worked! I shifted my “now” so completely, I couldn’t put my finger on it, because the frequency of the song and the frequency of my improved mood were too different.
Trippy, right?
And here’s the thing: That’s evidence!
My increasingly positive frequency was so different from those past stories, only their “ghosts” remained…On the tip of my brain, but inexpressible.
Songs are stories. They’re stories a talented storyteller tells (My illustration).
Then I realized something amazing. You see, were it not for hearing that song, were it not for listening to that playlist, were it not for the negative emotion triggered by all that, I wouldn’t have done what I did in response.
And, I wouldn’t have had the awesome experience of tuning into my Broader Consciousness’ message. A message that came through all my senses. A message that surprised and delighted me, yes. But also a message confirming the existence of my Broader Perspective! 
That’s how consistent positive focus creates extraordinary experience. And evidence this manifestation business is real.
While I did not remember the song’s title or lyrics, I still felt its “ghosts”. That tells me beliefs and experiences associated with that song are still present in me. But they are losing their momentum in light of my now-focus.
Receiving direct, clear, unmistakable communication from the non-physical realm tells me everything I’m doing is real. That it’s not mumbo jumbo or New Age bullshit. And this is why personal experience is so convincing.
It’s one thing for you to read about this experience in a blog. It’s a whole other thing when it happens to you!
Here’s something else I learned: Music is powerful. Its repetitiousness builds momentum. When I repeat lyrics to myself, sing-along out loud, or listen to songs over and over, I amplify that song’s frequency in my “signal mix”.
It behooves me then to pay attention to what types of music I’m listening to, doesn’t it? And choose only music supporting positive perspectives.
· · ·
The rest of that day I played with my learning. I listened to my playlist. Every time a song came on, I felt for its frequency. How did I feel when I listened? Did it close the gap between me? Or widen it? If I felt a song triggered even the slightest negative effect, I skipped it.
Songs are stories. They’re stories a talented storyteller tells. It’s a new perspective for me, seeing songs this way. There are a lot of songs out there telling not-so-positive stories.
Curating my music helps cultivate a high frequency mix. I keep it high by weeding out songs that don’t resonate.
So what are you listening to? Is your playlist filed with songs about lost love, broken hearts, angry black men, “Fuck Da Police”, “pussy” and “bitches”? Not judging genres. I know, for example, that my frequency response to certain songs depends on my relationship to those songs. Rap, for example, can be uplifting.
It’s easy to let others’ beliefs and stories shape our mood and therefore our reality. Songs are a powerful way other people’s stories do that.
Thanks to my Broader Perspective, I now know my daily life is curated by, among other things, songs I listen to. Going forward I’m choosing my playlist more wisely.
I need trust when there’s no evidence. But there’s evidence everywhere that I create the life I live. It’s important knowing where evidence is. That way I see it.
Evidence is all around me. The more I see, the more I see. There is overwhelming evidence. The only thing keeping me from seeing all that evidence is me.
More specific: What keeps me from seeing all the evidence are old beliefs I keep alive in my Moment of Becoming. Beliefs contrary to what I now know.
When these old beliefs, these old stories stay active, I don’t see the evidence. That’s because these old beliefs say “‘you create your reality’ is bullshit”.
They say my birth was a random chance of molecular and genetic predisposition. They say the universe is uncaring and objective, separate from me. They say I must do as others do to get what I want. They say I’m not unique. I’m not powerful. That I’m not eternal. That I am a small speck.
I know these stories are petering out in me. But their echos remain like ghosts. I know they’re still around, even though evidence supporting them is less visible. I know they’re still around because of how I feel sometimes.
I don’t feel this way as much as I feel ecstasy though. These days ecstasy predominates.
But I know those old beliefs are still there. Because I sometimes feel a sliver of negative emotion. Standing there, in those stories, trust is needed.
Because there, I can’t see evidence telling me I create reality. Even though the evidence literally is right in my face.
Knowing where the evidence is, finding it regularly, seeing it in great big piles makes trusting unnecessary. That’s why I don’t need trust. I know.
Evidence “I create my reality” dominates. How else can it be?
• • •
Maybe, because people don’t know how to see the evidence, they create stories like “it doesn’t work” or “it’s bullshit”. Or, they call it “wishful thinking”.
Here’s the irony: It is working for these people too. Evidence is all around them.
That it’s not working is the evidence.
It looks like “it doesn’t work” because the story “it doesn’t work” creates life experience confirming that. 🤷🏽♂️
Stand in “It doesn’t work” then look for evidence of it working. Life will show you it’s not working. But that’s what you’re creating. So that’s what you’re seeing: it not working. And it working.
If you don’t know how to see the evidence, you’ll feel insecure, powerless and other negative emotions. You might get angry, or indignant. You’ll think you’re right. You’ll write blogs sharing your righteousness. You’ll post “Stories” on Facebook and Instagram. You’ll have facts. And, of course, you will be right.
Life looks overwhelming, with chaotic events, pain, war, nasty politics and violence. It’s enough to keep a person in insecurity and fear. Until that person begins seeing evidence in all that. Evidence showing them they create their reality.
But you’re also not. Life experience created from any attitude (where you stand) matches that attitude. So you are right.
But you’re also not, because the life experience you’re creating is proving what you think. Thus, it is proving “it works” and “it doesn’t work” AT THE SAME TIME 😂😂😂
Negative emotions are strong. Let’s say someone stands in the attitude “it doesn’t work”. Then they look for evidence it does work as a way of trying to prove it doesn’t. In other words, they’re not really looking for evidence it does work. They’re looking for evidence confirming their attitude, which looks like the absence of evidence that it’s working.
When a person does that, they experience a range of emotions. Collectively it may feel like “disbelief” or “doubt”. Even “foolishness”. Foolishness sounds like this:
“I can’t believe I even tried to prove this shit works. I’m an idiot!”
Feeling doubt, the no-evidence-seer will draw to them all kinds of other stories/beliefs. Stories that reinforce their original story. The no-evidence-seer will then act in reinforcing ways. Including telling more stories which create more evidence of it not working. They’ll also draw to them people telling like stories. For the most part, that’s what science does when it considers this subject. 😂
For example, someone who believes science has all the answers might scoff to a friend about what happened. The friend may agree with the no-evidence-seer, themselves being one who also puts great weight in science. Such agreement reinforces the first no-evidence-seer’s beliefs.
What happens eventually is, no-evidence-seers live their lives in insecurity and powerlessness, aka “doubt”. Then they make things happen the hard way: Through effort, struggle, sacrifice.
I know. I was one of those people.
They don’t believe they create their reality. So they look to other people for guidance, advice, what success looks like, what love looks like, what happiness looks like. They don’t know they feel powerless or insecure most of the time because such feelings feel normal to them. Which is why ecstasy feels so extraordinary when it happens. Usually during sex. Or a wonderful meal. But hardly ever any other time.
I once stood in doubt and disbelief. Standing there I couldn’t see evidence. So I did many others do in the same place: looked to others, hid my authentic self, concerned myself with what others thought about me. Not any more.
It’s ironic because ecstasy is supposed to be the dominant life experience.
Insecurity and powerlessness tell the person feeling them something. But the no-evidence-seer misses that message. So, they get lost in the spectacle of a willy-nilly created life. Random lives. Lives where dreams die. Where mediocrity predominates.
There’s nothing wrong with that. Statistically, it’s the average person’s life. And eventually everyone sees the evidence. Everyone sees it the moment they die.
That’s not my path though.
Isee evidence everywhere. So I’m clear. I’m ecstatic about All That Is, about life, about my life, about me.
I need trust in the absence of evidence.
But I have plenty evidence.
So I don’t need trust.
Addendum:While editing this story, Apple Music played a song by Nina Simone. It’s called “Feeling Good”. The lyrics are appropriate given what I’ve shared here. I’m feeling good. You can too…
Birds flying high you know how I feel
Sun in the sky you know how I feel
Breeze driftin’ on by you know how I feel
It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life for me yeah
Ouh
And I’m feeling good
Fish in the sea, you know how I feel
River running free, you know how I feel
Blossom on the tree, you know how I feel
It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life
For me
And I’m feeling good
Dragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean, don’t you know
Butterflies all havin’ fun, you know what I mean
Sleep in peace when day is done, that’s what I mean
And this old world, is a new world
And a bold world for me,
And I’m feeling good
Stars when you shine, you know how I feel
Scent of the pine, you know how I feel
Oh freedom is mine
And I know how I feel
It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life
For me
[A note from my Broader Perspective: this post is so full of wonderful epiphanies, it’s a pleasure to share it. It’s especially wonderful because it shows how everyone benefits from every action happening on the planet. Even though that may not be immediately perceivable.]
(My Illustration)
Everybody knows perception is reality.
If I believe, for example, that Trump is an idiot, I can’t see all the good things he’s doing.
If I believe Trump is Making America Great, I ignore things he’s doing that aren’t so great.
Those things are not in my perception as “not-so-great things”. 🤷🏽♂️
Which begs the question “Can ‘truth’ really be objective?”
Perception is reality. But where do my perceptions come from? How do I “perceive”?
Another question: Am I perceiving an “objective, real” world? A world independent of my perception and yet verifying my perception as “the truth”when I perceive it?
And if not, where does “reality” come from? Is something else happening?
There are as many truths as their are perceptions. And there are as many different perceptions as there are people. (My Illustration)
I now know my perception, and my reality, both come from what I believe. Here’s an example from this week showing how this happens (this post was started on December 11).
I’ll share the story first. Then, I’ll share the logical, nonphysical explanation behind the story.
Limiting Belief Creates Limited Options
I deliver packages for large online retailer. It’s a bridging job. I don’t do it for the money.
It’s good having the money. The job and money both bridge a gap between limiting beliefs I’m soothing, and beliefs creating the reality I want.
I’m a top performer in this job. I’m also known at work for being super-positive.
It annoys some people. 🤷🏽♂️
^^Bridging one set of beliefs to another set of beliefs is key if I want to be happy. Through that practice I step into my ideal reality. (My Illustration)
Last week a driver told me one of her beliefs. She didn’t know she was doing that. She thought she was telling me “the truth”.
“I can’t finish my route and take my breaks,” she complained. If I’m going to finish my route, I have to skip my breaks.”
This is not “truth”. Although it is her reality. So for her, it’s “true”. It is a fact in her perception. When she delivers, she must skip her breaks so she can finish her route.
I told her, that doesn’t have to be true for her. And that if she wants, I could show her how she could get both: finish her route and take her breaks.
• • •
That driver yesterday asked me for those tips. The first, and most important tip I told her was this: what she believes about her route creates her route.
She looked at me funny. I kept going.
I showed her a couple approaches, organizing her packages, monitoring certain actions. But I emphasized her attitude as crucial to being able to take her breaks.
I pointed out, for example, that “worry” about getting too many apartments and no place to park collapses (in her perception) her experience to include ONLY these events.
So she develops “task urgency panic” – knee-jerk actions adopted to overcome her perception of “not enough time” aka “time scarcity”.
Task urgency panic, in a delivery job, looks like driving faster between stops. It looks like moving faster from vehicle to door. It looks like skipping important steps, such as double checking a package’s address label with the address on the house you’re at.
Me preparing for my route. My routes constantly get easier and easier. (my photo)
In task urgency panic, anxiety increases. Anxiety happens when a delivery driver’s reality collapses into stories like these:
“I don’t have enough time”
“I’m running behind”
“I’m running out of time”
“My route is too big for me to handle”
Those stories create the anxiety. “Anxiety”, the feeling itself, is communication. Most people don’t understand emotions that way. But that’s their purpose.
“Anxiety”, the feeling, is trying to tell the person feeling it, something important.
But usually, when a person feels anxious, or any emotion, instead of stopping and thinking about why they’re feeling that emotion, they instead have knee-jerk reactions to the story underneath that’s responsible for creating the emotion.
That same story creates reality perception.
That perception is real to the perceiver. This driver doesn’t have time. So the she must act in haste to try to “make up time”.
Haste, especially when driving, introduces mistakes. Mistakes increase delivery time. Mistakes also make routes take longer.
Perceiving I don’t have time to take breaks is a legitimate reality: It’s real to me. But it doesn’t have to be my reality. This driver’s behavior is the ultimate manifestation of the reality she’s creating. She perceives she doesn’t have time, so she acts like that. Which creates the reality matching her perception.
Which is coming first? The reality? The perception?
^^Photos of my route sheets. On my routes I always get my breaks because I expect (I believe) I will. So the Universe bends to my desired reality. It’s also how my route gets easier and easier.
^^Photos of my route sheets. On my routes I always get my breaks because I expect (I believe) I will. So the Universe bends to my desired reality. It’s also how my route gets easier and easier.
^^Photos of my route sheets. On my routes I always get my breaks because I expect (I believe) I will. So the Universe bends to my desired reality. It’s also how my route gets easier and easier.
^^Photos of my route sheets. On my routes I always get my breaks because I expect (I believe) I will. So the Universe bends to my desired reality. It’s also how my route gets easier and easier.
It looks like the route takes longer because it DOES take longer. She believes it’s going to take longer. So she gets anxious. She panics. She takes action from that panicked state. Actions that introduce errors. Errors that increase delivery time.
Her perception then is the route becomes “so hard I can’t take my breaks.”
Her perception is her reality. But, again, which came first?
I explained yesterday that everything starts with attitude. I didn’t say the following. She wasn’t ready for this. But since you’re reading this, the following will be helpful.
• • •
A positive attitude is analogous to positive perception. Your attitude (where you stand) is such that you only see life’s positive aspects. Just as when you’re anxious the world gets colored by the story creating the anxiety, when you’re positive, the positive stories do the same thing your anxiety-inducing stories do: create an emotion consistent with them, then a reality consistent with them too.
A positive attitude means even when you observe something you interpret at first as negative, you change that story into a positive one. You know you’ve done so when you no longer feel negative about what you’re interpreting.
A positive attitude is perception. You’re perceiving positively. Your thoughts about what you’re observing are stories. You’re drawing from the infinite expanse of thoughts, thoughts consistent with a positive focus.
Thoughts thought over and over become beliefs. Once thoughts become beliefs, they fade into the background.
The more positive focus I have, the more evidence I see. The more evidence I see, the better I feel. The better I feel, the more I focus on positive events. The more I focus, thoughts associated with that focus increase their momentum, thus becoming beliefs. Beliefs are thoughts with a lot of momentum behind them. The momentum stimulates the moment of becoming. That stimulation draws more positive experience from the moment of becoming, which flow into manifested evidence. The exact same process works when I focus negatively. (My illustration)
BUT by the time a thought recedes into the background, it has generated enough momentum to project itself into physical reality. It then becomes perceivable by you. First as emotion, then as other physical real-nesses.
Real-nesses including actual, physical life experience beyond emotion.
Other “realities” inconsistent with that belief disappear. They’re still there, but you can’t find them. That’s why someone who BELIEVES Trump is doing great doesn’t see any evidence contrary to that.
So how do you change reality? You change perception. How do you change perception? By changing what you believe. How do you change what you believe? By changing what you think about frequently.
• • •
I could see on this driver’s face that her beliefs don’t include anything you just read. Her face screwed into a picture of disbelief. It was as though I was speaking Swahili. I was giving her gold. She thought it was lead. We’ll see what happens next. I’ll include an addendum to this story as things unfold.
My experience is when I share this information, the Universe shows the person I’m speaking to evidence of the information’s accuracy…then, gradually, that person’s life starts changing. So do their behaviors.
Beliefs create the delivery experience
The same day I offered this information, I had a route with 100 stops. Almost 140 pkgs. The driver I spoke with said she gets anxious any time she sees she’s got a route with more than 80 stops. I believe I can easily deliver 100 stops (or more) safely and take my breaks.
Now, I’m about to share what happened with this route. Looking back at it, I have to say, I’m pretty amazed by it too. I’m not making any of this up.
At around 7 p.m. I was ready to start the last delivery zone. That zone had 11 packages. My shift ends at 8:30 p.m. So I had plenty of time to deliver these final packages. I was taking a break, when Bryan, another driver and one of my friends, called. He said Central Ops (CO) is sending him to take some of my packages. When CO does this, it’s called a “rescue”.
I had plenty of time to finish the route. Eleven packages would have taken less than 30 minutes.
For a moment, I was annoyed. I love finishing early. I nearly always finish early. It feels great. Like completion. I get a lot of satisfaction from it.
So here was CO screwing with my wonderful route! Why were they sending me a rescue when I didn’t need it, I thought. Now they’re going to send me to rescue someone else…and extend my evening!
Then I caught myself! Did you catch it?
Bryan and I talking over details.
At that moment, I knew from the negative emotion I was feeling (annoyance, whiny, disappointed, haughty) that these thoughts were not in my best interest. They would create a reality I didn’t want.
So I changed my thoughts. I thought ok, Bryan, come get some. I’m happy to give up these packages. Let’s see what comes next. Besides, I’ll see my friend in the field. That’s happened only once before and it was fun!
Bryan took my last bag. It had 11 packages in it. When he saw it had 11 he was excited.
“This is so good Perry,” He said. “I’ve been wanting to do this since the [holiday] peak season started. I haven’t had a chance to get one of those gift cards.”
The Universe gives everyone what they want. There is never competition for anything. Everything is always getting everything everything wants. This was a perfect example.
Our company offers incentives during the holiday peak. One is, if you finish your route, then help another driver by taking at least 10 packages and successively deliver them, you get a $10 Starbucks card. I have eight cards. Bryan had none. He wanted to get one. Here was his chance.
My eight rewards… (my photo)
That also meant something cool was in store for me! When I thought that thought, my attitude changed. What happened next was pretty cool.
I finished my remaining stops, then CO called me as I suspected (or created?). They asked if I would help out Mark, another driver. His delivery device quit. Central Ops told me I’d have to take the rest of his route (21 packages, double my final zone) because Mark couldn’t deliver with a busted device.
I called Mark. I figured there was more to this story. Mark said he tried everything. The device doesn’t work. On the way to Mark’s location, a thought kept coming to me. “I’m going to fix whatever is going wrong with that device,” it kept saying.
It was more of an intention than a thought. Like I was deliberately shifting reality….
Meanwhile my other friend Diane texted me. Diane is such a loving person. She didn’t want to see me commuting by bike in December’s chill and rain. So she offered a while ago to drive me to and from work. She’s another wonderful manifestation.
Anyway, Diane let me know CO called her. She got dispatched on a rescue too. That meant she might be late returning to the station. It was all working out. Had I finished earlier, I would have had to wait who knows how long for her!
I drove to where Mark was. Together we looked at his device. He had turned it off after we talked on the phone. I asked him to turn it on.
Guess what?
It worked!
Honestly, I was surprised. And not surprised. Then I felt delight, for many reasons. My thought/intent about the device came about. That felt good. Mark was relieved I was there. That felt good. Mark and I decided to split his final zone. He took 11 packages. I took 10. Together we knocked his route out. That felt good.
CO thanked me for helping out. That felt good. I got to see Bryan in the field and help him get a gift card. That felt good. And, instead of delivering twice the number of packages in my remaining time, I ended up delivering one package less than I would have…so really, it all worked out…for everyone. Even Bryan!
In a funny side-note: Diane texted again. She said she finished her rescue, called the station and they suggested she come help me finish what I was doing.
Diane and I talking about the end of the evening. We’re ensuring we’re synched
By the time I got to the station, Diane arrived at exactly the same time. That felt good too!
Talk about an abundance of manifestation!
I know perception is reality. But perception has an origin. I know that when I’m choosing Positively Focused beliefs my perception must change to include only those things that accord with my beliefs. That’s how I create my reality.
And that’s why my reality is so freaking fun!
How Does Perception Create Reality?
Thoughts are living things. They exist as we do. Like us, they want full self-expression. In this time-space reality, “full self-expression” is “constantly becoming more than it was before”. Physical reality is the furthest “forward” version of “becoming more”. Evolution through physical reality is even more “forward”.
So everything wants to become real. Everything begins as a thought.
How thoughts become things. All thoughts that have been thought still exist. They are living beings. All thoughts want to experience their full expression. In this reality, that looks like physical manifestation. Thoughts associate with thoughts like themselves. Just like people commingle with like people. Thoughts commingled become “thought constellations”. Thoughts and ideas get drawn to “creators” (people) who resonate with a given thought constellation’s frequency or tone. When that happens, the person receives “inspiration”. Inspiration can cause a person to act. That action is a late stage manifestation of that thought’s emergence into physical reality. It is not the first physical manifestation. The first physical manifestation is the perception of the idea in the head of a creator (a person). (my illustration).
Associated with these thoughts in the Inner Reality are untold numbers of personality essences. These are “beings”, again, like us, who “resonate” or are “tuned to” that thought.
It’s very similar to the consciousnesses that make up our bodies. Our bodies, as you know, comprise of billions of cells. Each cell has its own consciousness. Associated about that consciousness are thoughts. Thoughts which represent pure positive representations of probable, alternate, past and future versions of that cell’s physical reality. All that consciousness associates and collaborates along with all the others, and with your consciousness, ongoingly creating what you know as your body moment by moment
Your body, my body, represents a collection of thoughts, which, delightfully find themselves “manifested” as a physical form. Take my body, for example. thoughts about my body are focused into physical reality through attention. Attention each consciousness associated with my body brings to the “idea” or “thought” of “Perry’s physical image”.
They (those thoughts) are reveling in my existence. They revel because my physical body is the forward-most expression of thoughts associated with “me” made manifest. Every aspect of my appearance corresponds to a thought or idea.
So when I think a thought, what’s really happening is, I’m tuning myself to a “tone” which resonates with the thoughts I think I’m thinking. I’m not really thinking those thoughts though.
What’s really happening is, when I tune myself to that tone, I am able to receive, or perceive, or become aware of, “nonphysical reality”. The “nonphysical reality” I experience is what occurs to me as “a thought”.
So what is happening when a person thinks is, they are tuning into the tone of a living being. A living being we call “thought”. That being becomes perceivable by the thinker. The thinker then tends to put that thought into action, which moves the thought more forward, thus delighting the thought. Of course, the thinker finds delight in the forward movement too. Which feels like pleasure, eagerness, excitement, anticipation, appreciation, happiness…and other positive emotions. Life is a massive collaboration.
There are an infinite number of thoughts out there. Thoughts of all persuasions. Every thought that has been thought still exists. So it’s possible to tune oneself to any thought at all. Which explains where nightmares, ghosts and goblins, and inspiration for novels or art or music come from…
I know I can tune into any thought I want. But I have a…let’s call it a chord…a base set of melodies I most resonate with. Those tones are the basis, the core of what I am. When I tune myself to those tones, thoughts I receive or perceive feel the best. That’s because they accord with my own “chord” or “base melody”.
This is synching up, or aligning with my Broader Perspective. My Broader Perspective is the collective chord, or melody from which I emerged and continue emerging.
You have a melody too. All chords are harmonious and positive, uplifting and moving everything forward.
So, when I tune myself to a tone or set of tones which bring to me a thought or set of thoughts, those thoughts are seeking full expression. They also are associated with thoughts that already have experienced and are experiencing full expression (in the moment). That association then brings not only thoughts from nonphysical into my perception/awareness/consciousness, it also brings fully-manifested thoughts into my perception/awareness/consciousness.
These fully-manifested thoughts look like things: objects – trees, buildings, newspapers, the internet, etc. This explains how Law of Attraction, for example, allows people to turn their desires into reality.
Situations, physical objects, events, people, circumstances are all manifestations. They are furthest forward expressions of thoughts. It looks like physical reality because that’s what a “body’s” sense organs are designed for. Otherwise, physical reality might look like sound. Or vibration. Or just noise.
So when I think about conservative people who love what Trump is doing, I can see why they feel that way. And why they can see what they see, and not see what people who “think” or “tune” differently see.
I also can see how the world and the Universe is big enough to allow all perspectives full expression. It’s the purpose of both the world and Universe: to give room for the full expression of all ideas.
Life’s upward positive, self perpetuating spiral. The more I’m Positively Focused, the better life gets. The better life gets, the more I want to be Positively Focused. The more I’m Positively Focused, the better life gets… (my illustration)
My role in that is the focuser. I get to choose through my focus what thoughts, and thus what realities I want to see in my time-space reality. I choose those which feel best to me. Those are thoughts embodied in things like Copiosis, Positively Focused and The Transamorous Network. Thoughts which recognize that we all are creators, here for the fun and for the expansion of All That Is.
After all, we all have perceptions. Why do we perceive? We’re supposed to be perceiving for the fun of it. Because creating is fun. Living is fun.
Seeing one’s life match one’s desires is most fun of all. That happens best through being Positively Focused. When we’re Positively Focused, we’re seeing the world the way All That Is sees it.
It’s all fun.
Addendum #1 (added Dec 17):Last week the driver mentioned above (let’s call her Amy) said “I used the suggestions you gave me. But they didn’t work. The delivery order was random, not the sequence you said it would be”. I didn’t tell her this because she wasn’t ready: the reason it didn’t look like it was working is because the momentum of her belief didn’t allow it. She needs to keep practicing the belief work more.
Unbeknownst to me, another driver, let’s call him Troy, overheard a part of my original conversation with Amy. the next day, he came up to me and asked for tips. I told him the same thing I told Amy. He told me he was going to try the tips. Contrary to Amy’s skepticism that they would work, Troy was eager and excited. He felt hopeful. Guess what? The next day, he came up and thanked me. He said he already could see how these tips can help. He said he’s going to keep trying them. Skepticism is a negative emotion. It’s akin to doubt. Eager and hopeful are positive emotions. They indicate perception consistent with how All That Is sees the world. Positive emotions indicate clarity.
Addendum #2 (Added Dec 22).Last week Amy and I were at the delivery station. We started talking. She said “I want to be positive like you”. It was an opening. I didn’t step in. I just let the moment be. Then she changed the subject. A couple days later, she brought candy canes in for all the drivers. She’s never seen this before…
To explain: As my reality-creating skills get better, I realize how great being in the “enlightened state” feels. I’ve gotten consistent at it. When I’m there for long periods I feel ecstasy.
I’ve also had 40 years of living life not in that state.
In that not-enlightened state I was creating reality too. A haphazard Willy-nilly one comprised of random thought and focus. That’s a “normal life”.
It’s not always fun seeing that reality show up. Feeling as I do now, that old reality’s emotional content sucks. It’s a far cry from ecstasy.
Momentum Is Everything
I know creating reality deliberately brings instant results. But only in areas with little resistance, negativity and weak negative belief momentum.
In areas where there’s a lot of resistance, negativity and strong negative belief momentum, I first must soothe all that before I see results.
Then again, feeling resistance, negativity and its associated momentum subside is an immediate result.
So holding my focus on what I want despite evidence it’s not coming, is crucial. There’s always evidence of all potential realities. I must learn to know what improvement looks like. Then focus on that. That’s how I create realities I want.
And that’s why so many miss how great this work is. And how real its results are. They pay too much attention to what doesn’t seem to be improving – when in actuality it is – instead of noticing improvement showing up.
I know I get more of what I give attention to. It’s that simple. So I pick out and focus on evidence of improvement. And, I get more of that. That’s being Positively Focused.
My current, manifested reality aka The Present Moment is a mix. It comprises some of what I’ve created, which is still active in my awareness, and what is being created, now by me, through deliberate focus in the Moment of Becoming.
For example, this post was prompted by an income tax situation with my ex-wife. We had filed jointly when we were married. Having divorced this summer, I was filing single for the first time in a while. I was worried I’d owe a lot of taxes.
These days, I know “worry” tells me I’m creating a reality I don’t want. That’s why it doesn’t feel good.
But the negative feeling of “worry” drew into my experience a brief belief constellation. It comprised all kinds of worrisome thoughts, thoughts that had a basis in reality. A reality I wasn’t wanting.
So I shifted my attention to thoughts that had a basis in a different reality. A reality I wanted. A reality where my taxes would be managed easily.
Guess what?
The first thing that happened was, I felt a lot better. Then, I received a series of impulses of what to do. Following them, I filed my taxes easily. The amount I owed was quite manageable. What I had briefly worried about didn’t come about. Instead, it all worked out. As it always does.
• • •
When thoughts and beliefs surface from times I lived unaware of what I know now I feel shitty. A “normal life” feels normal to people, because they rarely experience ecstasy. They’re used to feeling crappy. Crappy feels normal to them.
For me, a normal life feels shitty because contrasted against ecstasy, anything less feels, well, shitty. I’ve become used to feeling ecstasy.
Which is interesting because, from an enlightened perspective, feeling shitty is a great thing.
Because when I feel shitty these days I instantly I know to reach for feeling better. I know how to do that too. And my experience changes in an instant. So feeling shitty turns out to be positive. It’s a prompt. When I respond to the prompt, I always return to my enlightened state.
I love that state so much. I’m addicted to feeling ecstasy. That’s an addiction worth having.
Wouldn’t you be if you knew what it felt like, and knew ecstasy could be your dominant life condition, conjured at will?
Honestly too, the longer I practice allowing my natural enlightened state, the shorter these negative periods get. The period prompting this post lasted a day and a few hours, for example.
They used to comprise most of my waking life. I complained a lot back then. So I got a lot to complain about. * Which gave me more to complain about.
It seems the shorter those periods get these days, the worse they feel. It also seems the harder I try to get out of one, the longer and more intense it gets. If I catch it early though, I can talk my way into ecstasy again. Sometimes, it’s better observing it with no judgment and let it pass on its own. Like a summer storm.
I know the negative feeling, that intensity, feels so bad because it’s contrasted against how great I’m usually feeling these days.
These days, I’m appreciating the shitty moments more. For they wouldn’t feel so shitty were I not so often feeling ecstatic. They’d feel normal. You know, “In every life a little rain must fall”.
That’s true only if you’re living a “normal life”. I choose an extraordinary one.
• • •
I’m so glad I’m in this awareness state. It feels wonderful knowing what I know, applying it, then seeing fruits of the application.
I know for example these shitty moments benefit me. They are impetuses. They create within me stronger, more urgent desire for consistent oneness with my Inner Reality. So I can feel ecstatic longer and with more intensity. The more I allow that, the more my reality must shape to that consistent, ecstatic state. Meaning, my experience of daily life must include more and more ecstatic experiences. I feel ecstasy when I get what I desire.
Evidence showing up in my life proves that’s what’s happening. Including what just happened, while writing this (see the * below).
I find invincibility in ecstasy. How can my life experience, my physical life, not match to that? It’s cool knowing I can create any reality I want. Right out of the reality I have.
Sometimes creating is harsh.
But it’s worth it.
*Addendum: This is so great. This post is an example of the simultaneity of past, present and future.
I drafted this post on September 28. Long before I wrote the post I linked to above. But in my Broader Perspective I knew in the future I would create the post I linked to in this post. That linked post related a story about my experience at work, a story explaining how complaining gives you more to complain about. So I let this post about the harsh reality of creating reality sit on the back burner, while out of my Moment of Becoming (the future), examples substantiating what I was writing in this post came to pass. Now I’m editing and preparing to publish this post. It’s December. On November 25, I posted that other post about complaining.
In other words, I knew in the past that, in the future I would write a post I’d want to link to in this post I was writing (in the past), so I let this post sit until that other post was published. Now that it got published, I was moved to finish and publish this one. How cool is that?
Linear time is an illusion.
And my awareness is now broad enough to perceive and delight in this uncanny, awesome experience of the simultaneity of past, present and future! How cool!
