Being Positively Focused Is Rare

(Photo: Leah Millis/Reuters)

“If you depend on the behavior of another to be a certain way in order for you to feel good, you are on very shaky ground with regard to feeling good. For you cannot control how others be. But you can control what you think. And in controlling what you think, by focusing on thoughts that feel good, you discover people’s behaviors occur in such ways that feel good to you. And so you control other people‘s behavior, not by trying to control them, but by controlling your thoughts about them.”

How I Make My Days Even Better, Happier Days

Positively Focused is the way to get everything I want.
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

I like turning already good days, into better days. I do that, not by trying to “make” my days better, but by removing resistance I create about how great my days already are. When I do that, being positively focused, my days get even better.

What do I mean by “removing resistance I create”?

Every day, these days, I simultaneously feel pulled in many potentially enjoyable directions. For example, this morning, a new client sent a wonderful text, detailing an experience she had after our session two days ago. I’m inspired to respond with additional insights. The idea of doing that so feels so good!

But…

Another inspiration has me sharing information contained within this blog post with the men and women working with me on Copiosis.

This blog post began as an Instant Message I was writing to my team. I was answering a question they had about how I find so much joy in day-to-day living.

Sharing this blog post, in its original form as an IM felt equally as good as responding to my client. Both opportunities vied for my attention. But that’s not all…

Another impulse encouraged making video social media thumbnails for videos about Copiosis my team has sitting in our cue. I love doing that creative work. It’s fun and satisfying seeing the results. Results like this:

A Copiosis video thumbnail. Something I love doing when I'm Positively Focused.
An example of a video thumbnail. Curious about how and why babies should be paid the moment they’re born? Watch the 2 minute video.

Yet other impulses encourage hopping on Twitter and promoting Copiosis, working on the volunteer strategic project my team and I are creating or working on a Positively Focused illustration panel.

Then there’s the joy I feel in the idea “go upstairs and make something to eat”, and “check in with your client, see how he’s doing”. There’s even an impulse to watch something on Netflix!

There’s probably 20 or so impulses, all feeling wonderful, that I COULD do RIGHT NOW.

Positively Focused illustration panel of a crosswalk activation button
An example of one of my artistic panels I’m enjoying making.

Finding ease in the abundance

It’s easy to get into a seemingly positive loop of “what to do?”… that leads to feeling “overwhelm”, which stems from thinking “I don’t have enough time to do all these things”.

Overwhelm can lead to other thoughts and feelings, thoughts of lack or time scarcity, feeling impatience, even feeling dissatisfaction with what I’m doing NOW, which was, at the time, writing the IM I eventually shared with my team. 

Here’s the thing though:

The many things available back then, which still exist now as opportunities as I edit this blog version of the IM, represented a form of abundance. I call it “opportunity abundance.”

But this abundance doesn’t feel like abundance when I think thoughts like “I don’t have time to do all these things.” Instead, this abundance feels like lack, like too many things to do…this abundance, rather than feeling like abundance can cause me to feel self-pity…if I let it go that far.

That can spiral into a lack of appreciation of the abundance. And that lack of appreciation can effect other areas I really want to experience abundance in, such as the area of finances.

After all, I know the best path to realizing financial abundance that already exists in my reality is appreciating all other forms of abundance that aren’t financial abundance.

Having a ton of things I COULD do, all of which thrill me to think about, IS ABUNDANCE. So rather than going down the path of negative thinking…

I get Positively Focused

I monitor my thoughts, right now, and practice accepting where I am, NOW and enjoying what I’m doing, NOW. I do this while realizing those other things I also want to do aren’t going anywhere.

And if I’m successful, which I usually am, I find myself in JOY, NOW. I don’t find myself in a Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO) belief about these other things I could be doing and therefore resenting or feeling impatient about, what I am doing now

Does make sense?

Finding the Positively Focused space, not only do I realize plenty of time to enjoy all these things, I realize too a state of lightness, a lighter way of being. Standing there, life gets really good.

Because not only am I enjoying my now, in this day, the rest of this day and future days, get better too as there are more things to do than I can possibly do in a today. Which means, there are plenty of fulfilling, fun things to do tomorrow and the next day and the next.

That’s life mastery. It’s also how I make my days even better, happier days.

Feeling Better Feels Better

My beliefs create my reality, so I think only better-feeling thoughts.
My beliefs create my reality, so I think only better-feeling thoughts.

I feel myself asking for more. Even in dreams that feeling’s there. It feels so good feeling that. I love how good knowing that feels. Yes, it means my life experience fills with more and more fulfilled desire, but what I focus more on these days is how much better it feels to feel increasingly better-feeling. 

It’s that charmed life I mention.

Happiness Is Getting What I Want

Photo by Joanna Kosinska on Unsplash

I know what I want, when I get it, makes me happy. I also know when I’m happy I set up more future happy moments. 

But since every time I get what I want, I am happy, I can just be happy, even when I’m not getting what I want.

I can be happy now, no matter what is happening.

This is the basis of our work at Positively Focused. I know when I put my happiness first, by telling stories about my life that make me happy, I put myself on a path to living a happy life. That’s because a happy life looks like feeling happy in every moment.

What happens in my life, when I’m not deliberate about choosing happiness, determines how I feel. But life doesn’t have to be that way. I can turn it around. I can choose to be happy, no matter what I’m experiencing, then experience good things always.

I know when I do that my life fills with happy experiences. I know this because I’ve tried it and it has always worked out that way. I also know this because my Positively Focused clients get exactly the same results.

It’s a bit more complicated than that, but in a short while, I’ve created a life filled with happy experiences. So have my clients.

So this holiday season, I appreciate what I’ve realized: That life is happy when I am happy. And the happier I am, the more my life shapes to my happiness. In my happiness, I don’t need my life to change. But because I’m not focused on my life needing to change, because I’m not telling stories about how bad my life is, my life changes.

It’s a paradox, but it’s true.

I’m grateful for what I’ve discovered. And I’m loving seeing people who have come to me seeking relief from anxiety, insecurities, shame and other life problems, find relief and more, simply by telling better stories.

I appreciate knowing life is supposed to be fun, joyful and filled with fulfilled desires. I appreciating having such a life. And I appreciate sharing what I know with others, then seeing their life turn out that way too.

It’s the epitome of living.

Loving consciousness

It’s beautiful being alive

I love it

It’s beautiful being me

I love that too

It’s beautiful flowing between dreams and wake state

I love that

It’s beautiful feeling peaceful and joyful thoughts

They feel so good to feel

I love physical reality

I love its real-ness

I love being the nexus between physical reality and nonphysical reality

I like watching my awareness bring more of All That Is into being

I love All That Is

I love being

I love being alive

I love being dead

I love being me.

Why Positive Focus Works

Photo by Devin Avery on Unsplash

Positive focus creates positive experiences. Consistent positive focus triggers momentum, both in focus and in more positive experiences.

Simple tests prove this. One need not understand or believe metaphysical explanations. It happens anyway. The more I focus on positive things, the more positive things happen.

So why do many people focus negatively? I’m not going to answer that question, although I know the answer.

Instead let’s look at this one: Why does positive focus work?

When positive focus becomes chronic, human senses filter out anything not consistent with that focus. Our senses filter experience all day every day, allowing only experiences consistent with our persistent beliefs.

The reason people experience things they would say are “negative” AND “positive” too is usually they have both positive and negative beliefs in their Belief Constellations. So their filters allow in evidence of both.

Random negative experiences, such as getting robbed or raped or hit by a bus, aren’t random. They come from long-term focus, specific focus that feels like “fear”, “insecurity”, “worry” or “victimhood”. Often such feelings get past one’s perception because one focuses too much on what’s happening outside their head.

Focus works best when it predominantly focuses on what’s happening inside one’s head first, since everything happening outside one’s head springs from what happens inside one’s head.

Negativity owes itself to positivity

Very few people are chronically positive. There are many chronically negative people though. Everyone’s life matches their chronic focus.

But even negative people from time to time experience positive experiences. They do because a little positivity overwhelms tons of negativity. Negative “energy” isn’t an energy. Negative “energy” is what happens when positive energy diminishes.

In other words, negative “energy” owes its existence to its relativity to positive energy. It has no substance, no independent existence of its own. It is defined by a lack of positivity.

What’s more, a chronically negative person still is, at the core, pure positive energy. That energy, no matter how obscured it may be by negative focus, still overcomes negative focus when from time to time negative-focused people drop their guards.

When daydreaming, asleep or doing something “mindless” such as driving, taking a shower or experiencing something fun, positive focus’ power eeks through. That’s why a negative person can sometimes experience positive experiences.

Positive benefits feel fun

When I’m positive and excited by positive things, when I’m enthusiastic and eager about what I’m up to (or planning), I open up.

I’m open to possibility, I see things consistently-negative people can’t. The world reveals its delights. When I stay positive, I produce results effortlessly. What I want happens easier and faster. More important, on the way to those outcomes, I enjoy life more. Life experience becomes more entertaining, more fun, more positive.

While Positively Focused, “happy accidents” some people call “luck”, happen often. It’s not luck, but who cares what it’s called? Such events include problems solving themselves quickly and easily compared to focusing on the problem, trying to find a solution, or trying make a solution work.

When negative, one sees more negativity. Such focus turns things into “intractable problems.” When someone filters life through negative beliefs, the sheer enormity of bad things in the world overwhelms awareness.

Standing in overwhelm, feeling hopeless, helpless, anxiety and even despair seems normal, even though those feelings should never happen.

Overwhelming problems such as climate change, institutional racism, pandemics, wildfires, etc. can be and are harbingers of enormous opportunity, not signs of how fucked up the world is. To one who only sees problems, these seemingly insolvable situations become species-ending phenomena, even though they aren’t.

That’s incredibly naive

Someone reading this may not believe what they just read. The majority of people believe these things are overwhelming, species-ending problems.

I know though that one person with enough positive focus momentum is more powerful than millions without that momentum. Such a person births solutions before now unheard of, even while not involving themselves in the solution process.

Evidence in my life proves my Positively Focused practice creates the Charmed Life I describe in this blog.

Yes, many will disagree with this post’s premise. The Positively Focused person, however, doesn’t need or care about other people’s opinions, nor does such a person need others’ validation or agreement.

So disagreement is irrelevant to one who creates reality. She knows her life experience springs ongoingly from her, not others. So she focuses on the one thing that really matters: her focus, not what others say, do or believe.

Here’s the critical thing about being negative: It’s very hard to turn that train around. A life-long “realistic”, pessimistic or negative person may feel right about the world they experience. And they will be right.

They’ll be right because life experience springs from their beliefs. That doesn’t mean an alternative experience, one contrary to everything a pessimistic person believes, doesn’t exist or can’t become that person’s reality.

Momentum is momentum though. It takes a lot of work initially reversing negative-focus momentum. Since Charmed Lives are possible for everyone, that work pales in comparison to benefits derived, making the effort worth it.

Desires fulfilling themselves. It’s a life available to anyone, because everyone at their core is Positively Focused. It’s worth it. It’s fun and it’s everyone’s birthright.

Not living one’s birthright, in my opinion, is living. But just barely.

Playing this morning

This is the series called “journal entries” for when I experience something I write about in my journal I think others might benefit from reading. This is a continuation of that series.

From my journal – Wednesday, Dec. 9, 2020

Enjoying my full plate. Enjoying guidance pointing to fulfilled desires. Enjoying seeing fulfilled desires emerge into awareness, on their own volition, eager, anticipating the delight I’ll feel when they blossom full-blown into reality.

Anticipating joyful experiences today like yesterday, only better because my life gets better and better day by day.

Fulfillment, joy, fun and adventure know no bounds. Each day seduces my attention, for my attention is each day’s origin, and my days appreciate my attention as a child appreciates its mother. Love courses between my creation and me like mother’s milk, me nurturing the unfolding, the unfolding delighting me, all in the context of the mind and eyes of God: pure bliss, joy, love and honor, watching my creation expand All That Is.

How To Stop Ruining The Holidays

Photo by David Everett Strickler on Unsplash

The holidays used to suck. My emotional pain so grated on me that I forswore holiday celebrations of all kinds once on my own.

That was before attaining enlightenment.

Now, I recognize I create my reality. Since the past is just another reality, I also re-create my past. That’s what happened this holiday season.

I’m sharing this for the many people who, like me, struggle with holidays. I know now “struggle” is optional. No matter how bad I used to feel, this year, I’m having the best Thanksgiving ever, in large part thanks to my house mate, who I’ll call Kimberly.

I’m going to relate how I transformed my holiday experience while interspersing some theory. If you want to know how all this works as a cohesive living approach I call Positively Focused, please visit my website. There you can schedule a free 30-minute 1:1 in which I’ll answer any questions at no cost to you.

How I transformed the Thanksgiving holiday in less than 15 minutes.

My house mate Kimberly is a manifestation I created after a wonderful ordeal involving previous house mates. In January I’ll tell that story.

Kimberly’s arrival fulfilled many desires. I know though that all fulfilled desires contain within them seeds for more consciousness expansion. That usually looks like “negative” experiences, although they aren’t that. Indeed, what happened Thanksgiving morning was perfect.

My potato au gratin. Yum!

Excitement filled our little home the night before. We bought an enormous turkey, planned several decadent side dishes and even went in together on a new projector to watch Killing Eve and Uncle Frank, Amazon’s new feel-good holiday movie.

Settled in for the night, we anticipated a wonderful morning cooking food, listening to music and generally enjoying time together.

That’s not what happened, at first

I’m an early riser. Kimberly usually wakes later. I got up eager for our culinary adventure. But as I got things ready, I noticed she had made a bag of popcorn late last night. That meant, I realized, that she might not get up early enough.

Little did I know she had planned on joining me. She even set an alarm. But something went wrong. Little did I know how “going wrong” presents enormous gifts.

For hours I relished the morning, preparing our dishes. As turkey dressing time neared though, Kimberly’s absence loomed large. Where was she?

My veggie medley and the au gratin all ready to eat. Ignore the sponge on the range 😂

It was a passing thought at first. Then it turned into worry. Then it turned into resentment. Kimberly wasn’t meeting my expectations, expectations I thought we shared.

That’s not her purpose though

Kimberly need not meet my expectations. No one lives to meet my expectations. When I got that a while ago, I mostly stopped resenting people when they did their own thing.

Everyone comes into reality pursuing their fulfillment, whatever that looks like. The paradox is, when a person shows up in my reality, pursuing their fulfillment, I know now they aren’t real, objective people. Instead, they reflect back to me beliefs I hold in my Belief Constellation even while they pursue individual self-fulfillment.

Other people (as well as everything else in my reality) are physicalized versions of beliefs active in me. I tested this over several years. Improving my beliefs always changed people’s behavior, especially the way they treated me.

Today, people in my life are angels. They show me active beliefs in my Moment of Becoming on their way to becoming my tangible reality. Realities I want I welcome. Realities I don’t want I know I can do something about.

Our turkey cooking its patutti off. LOL

Here’s what that looks like

I knew from years of Positively Focused practice that resentment and worry had nothing to do with Kimberly. Instead they indicated beliefs active that drew into my now, an experience I preferred not having.

Realizing that I did something about it. First, I looked inside to see what thoughts/beliefs I activated. After all, I had enjoyed, up to that moment, being in the kitchen by myself, making all this food my way, without having to compromise anything about what I was doing. It was fun!

My exploration showed old beliefs I created as a kid active in my now. They were about my parents, my family and holidays with them. That’s when Kimberly offered an amazing opportunity. I could clean up those old beliefs and, simultaneously, clean up how I experienced my now, create better future experiences and transform the past too!

Once I got that I stopped preparing meals. I went to my room, set a 15 minute timer, then went into deliberate focus. In that focus I realized/remembered the following:

  • Kimberly is a manifestation. She is not real.
  • Kimberly is a manifestation of my entire Belief Constellation embodied in an apparition in my evolving now consciousness.
  • As such, constructively using realizations represents allows stronger connections with my Personal Trinity. Reacting any other way creates unwanted futures.
  • Kimberly’s choices are hers and those acts aren’t about me. But make them about me when I interpret them as such!

Such a wonderful gift.

Circumstances in life do this all day every day. People, objects, experiences all are physical representations of my ongoing beliefs.

For better or worse, most people don’t know this, so they interact with their reality as though it is separate, an objective reality apart from who they are, what they are and what they’re believing.

Even among those who know physical reality is a mirror of one’s internal reality, few know what to do with that information.

Those who don’t know struggle with all kinds of mental and emotional traumas, with few remedies other than iffy mental health therapies which often stretch over years and produce scant lasting results.

Rather than taking these wonderful gifts evidenced in people, places, objects and events, for granted, humans can use them for personal transformation. Done diligently, such transformation also transforms ordinary life into the Charmed Life I share with my clients.

Seeing Kimberly as a transformational opportunity also let’s her off the hook. She can be how she’s being and in the absence of me making her wrong, she becomes the angel she is, but only when I see her from my Inner Being perspective, my Broader Perspective which sees everything in reality as blessed, perfectly unfolding and beneficial to all the Universe.

Creating awesome from ordinary

The moment I tuned into my Inner Being, the discomfort, angst and resentment lifted. It was crazy how fast and complete it was! One moment it was there, the next POOF! Totally abscent.

What flowed in its place were thoughts about how wonderful this experience turned out to be, how good realizing that felt, and how remarkable I was as a deliberate creator creating this experience. I felt compelled to voice these thoughts:

  • Wow, I feel much better.
  • This is so much better than how I felt before.
  • Those old beliefs soothed in my awareness placed on more empowering thoughts.
  • I am having a good time creating a new reality with just my awareness.
  • I get that my reality is my creation, including other people in my reality.

Then I started thinking about the meal I’m preparing:

  • This meal is going to be really good!
  • The au gratin smells delicious!
  • So do the roasted veggies!
  • The stuffing is going to be good too!

Then came the extraordinary convergence of reality matching my new perspective: At that exact point in time, Kimberly came bounding down the stairs. I heard her walk into the kitchen from inside my basement space. Then she sent me a text:

Trippy! The very moment I tuned into these better-feeling thoughts, my experience of Kimberly shifted. A new reality showed up including a different Kimberly!

Nevertheless I wanted to amplify how good I felt. It felt so good. These thoughts flowed next…

  • That’s so cool what just happened.
  • I shifted my reality!
  • And my apparitions shifted too.
  • What I’m discovering is so accurate.
  • I love my Inner Being relationship!

I felt waaaay better by now.

In that moment I returned to my original bliss. I realized too my old beliefs transformed as well: I see them now as having created experiences long ago that, I was destined to shift, in my now, my current Thanksgiving; and in doing so transforming my past holiday experiences, my present one and all future ones.

I have wonderful new memories about the holidays. Memories made more powerful because they sprung from enlightened consciousness. I know thoughts born from enlightened consciousness are far more powerful than those born out of it.

I also now know that I’ve transformed past, present and future in one fell swoop. I know it because I feel it.

What does it feel like? It feels like Joyful invincibility.