I once had a female housemate named Debbie. She left her “real job” for a calling. Instead of that “real job”, she wanted to become a life coach. This was back in the day when “life coaching” was the thing. At the time, I too had just left my “real job” in pursuit of startups. So it was nice living with someone else who took the road less traveled.
Months went by and Debbie wasn’t making much progress as a life coach. I don’t know why she wasn’t succeeding. But one day, I happened to see her in passing at the house. In that moment, I knew Debbie had lost her dream.
The look on her face was obvious: nearly out of money, Debbie probably feared what she thought would happen next. She didn’t need to say anything. The dread on her face and tears in her eyes spoke volumes. I remember giving her a long embrace. I told her it would be ok.
She stayed with me in my house a couple more months. Then she moved out. She moved to another state, got a job for a utility and, today, as far as I can tell, is happy. She married. Got a dog. She’s gotten back into dance, something she loves. As far as I know, life is good for Debbie.
Giving the cold shoulder to our calling
As I move through circumstances associated with my calling, I know how Debbie felt. So many of us accept mainstream beliefs. Tow that line long enough and life shapes to those beliefs. Then we fall into a pattern. We’re successfully earning our living. We maybe have a family. Life’s pleasures keep us in that pattern.
I know: I lived exactly that life.
So when our passion calls us, we don’t easily hear it. Maybe we do, but we won’t follow it. Life is too good as it is, however it is. We have friendships, lovers. We have good, stable jobs. Of those who do try following the call, many don’t make it. Like Debbie. We try, but our old beliefs, those having us choose the mainstream, normal life won’t accept new ideas. Even if, in the long run, those new ideas would give us more satisfaction and joy. Far more than our mainstream life.
Mainstream beliefs will push back against anyone who dares to follow their dreams. So those called must overcome emotions old beliefs spark. Emotions warning us we may become homeless, penniless or failures. Beliefs saying life outside the safe mainstream, is too scary.
Even among the daring, many will not overcome scary thoughts about the future, risk and what others might think. I don’t blame Debbie for turning back. This path is not for the faint of heart. My own life offers sobering tales which would scare most people from trying what I’m doing. Most people won’t even begin. Let alone go as far as I have.
Is it worth it?
But my experience also proves it’s so worth it. It’s really scary at times. But I know what “fear” means. Yes, there’s that “False Evidence Appearing Real” thing. But fear also is a beneficial emotion, like all emotions. Understand what it’s saying and we can make our fear more compliant with our desires. More compliant with the path to which our calling draws us.
It takes a while transmuting emotions keeping us from living spectacular lives. That transmutation process, then, isn’t for the faint of heart. Most people won’t try. And the majority of people living ordinary, happy lives proves we don’t need to try to be happy.
Some of us do try, however. Others, like me, are called and the calling won’t take no for an answer. We are those who dare. It’s scary, yes. But the path, at least so far, is extremely rewarding. I believe it will be far more rewarding in the future too. Right now, it brings me extraordinary experiences I write about in this blog. Experiences convincing me I’ve made the right choice.
In reality though, I really had no choice. Repeating myself: My calling would not take no for an answer.
Is mainstream, ordinary success available on this path? I believe so. Money, influence, relevance and all that are coming. But first, I must believe I’m worthy of my calling.
Debbie gave up too early in my opinion. Was her’s a wrong decision? For her, I can’t say it was. She’s happy after all. At least that’s what it looks like on social media.
But for me, nothing short of the Charmed Life will do. And so, I’m committed to the very end. An end I expect will be spectacular.