I’ve added yet another running series “Q/A” to my blog. It’s…well…about answering questions I get through the internets and sharing those answers with others as they may help others feel inspired and more connected to the God they are.
Someone asked: Should I Fear Or Welcome The Dark Night Of The Soul?
Answer: We humans could benefit from being a little less dramatic.
A “Dark Night of the Soul”…..Whoooooo…..Seriously?
Life is supposed to be FUN.
Fear is optional. Having the fun though requires examining so many aspects of how we be. One way we shoot ourselves in the foot is how we be with regard to what comes our of our mouths (or our fingers). This “Dark Night of the Soul” malarky is a great example.
All this is, is an interpretation, and an unhelpful one at that. If I called it that, I’d be afraid too. But that fear tells you something: It tells you you are misinterpreting what’s really happening.
Most people don’t understand what emotions are or what their purpose is, but some are starting to come around. Emotions are extremely important. They serve a purpose. But that’s another story…one you don’t need to know to resolve this question.
The experience humans describe the way you’re describing it is simply a turning point. It’s a wonderful opportunity you’ve created for yourself, an opportunity to head in the direction of your wildest desires.
But if you fear it, if you see it as some massive, significant, scary event, you’re not lining up with the probable future reality this turning point you created offers for your own benefit. What you are lining up with is the suffering, strife, stress and pain…all the things “Dark Night of the Soul” implies.
Notice that everyone who describes this turning point this way has had experiences consistent with that description. You can’t experience it any other way when you believe it to be a “Dark Night of the Soul”.
If people knew this, the moment they heard someone describe it this way, they’d run for the hills because it doesn’t have to be a “Dark Night of the Soul”!
So how do you experience this wonderful time, this wonderful moment, this glorious opportunity for what it really is?
I hear you: “That’s easy to say…Perry…but HOW?” You ask. “Especially since I’m feeling stuck with this “Dark Night of the Soul” business!?”
Here: I’ll show you:
Start by recognizing and owning that you’ve accepted as your own, a common, yet bogus, belief that puts way too much emphasis on negative interpretations of what is actually a wonderful experience. How? Say:
This is ok.
I’ve adopted this belief, but I don’t have to keep it
It’s ok that I adopted it, and I’m ready to change it
It’s so cool I can change my mind, change my beliefs
I like that I have the ability to change my beliefs
I like that it can be pretty easy…
In a few moments of saying six or ten such statements, you’ll feel better about these turning points.
Next, start saying things about these turning points that support what I’m saying they are. If you do step one above, step two will be easy!
Life is an adventure
I like figuring my life out
I may have made turns that don’t serve me, but like changing my mind, I can change my course
I like experiencing the new
I can get through this
I’ve come this far, why not?
I think this is going to be interesting
I like being interested in things…
Then turn your focus to how you’re feeling right now, having done step two. That’s step three:
Wow, I feel better about this whole thing
I’m never going to describe turning points that way again, they’re just turning points!
I actually feel pretty excited about what’s to come
This is going to be fun…
And before you know it, you’re welcoming it!
Welcome everything life offers you. What’s really happening is, you’re offering your life experience to yourself. When you get that you create your reality, you can start creating any reality you want. It’s easy. And it never has to include a dark night of the soul.
(Notice how I decapitalized the phrase. That helps reduce some of the significance people put on it. LOL 😂)
I like turning already good days, into better days. I do that, not by trying to “make” my days better, but by removing resistance I create about how great my days already are. When I do that, being positively focused, my days get even better.
What do I mean by “removing resistance I create”?
Every day, these days, I simultaneously feel pulled in many potentially enjoyable directions. For example, this morning, a new client sent a wonderful text, detailing an experience she had after our session two days ago. I’m inspired to respond with additional insights. The idea of doing that so feels so good!
Another inspiration has me sharing information contained within this blog post with the men and women working with me on Copiosis.
This blog post began as an Instant Message I was writing to my team. I was answering a question they had about how I find so much joy in day-to-day living.
Sharing this blog post, in its original form as an IM felt equally as good as responding to my client. Both opportunities vied for my attention. But that’s not all…
Another impulse encouraged making video social media thumbnails for videos about Copiosis my team has sitting in our cue. I love doing that creative work. It’s fun and satisfying seeing the results. Results like this:
Yet other impulses encourage hopping on Twitter and promoting Copiosis, working on the volunteer strategic project my team and I are creating or working on a Positively Focused illustration panel.
Then there’s the joy I feel in the idea “go upstairs and make something to eat”, and “check in with your client, see how he’s doing”. There’s even an impulse to watch something on Netflix!
There’s probably 20 or so impulses, all feeling wonderful, that I COULD do RIGHT NOW.
Finding ease in the abundance
It’s easy to get into a seemingly positive loop of “what to do?”… that leads to feeling “overwhelm”, which stems from thinking “I don’t have enough time to do all these things”.
Overwhelm can lead to other thoughts and feelings, thoughts of lack or time scarcity, feeling impatience, even feeling dissatisfaction with what I’m doing NOW, which was, at the time, writing the IM I eventually shared with my team.
Here’s the thing though:
The many things available back then, which still exist now as opportunities as I edit this blog version of the IM, represented a form of abundance. I call it “opportunity abundance.”
But this abundance doesn’t feel like abundance when I think thoughts like “I don’t have time to do all these things.” Instead, this abundance feels like lack, like too many things to do…this abundance, rather than feeling like abundance can cause me to feel self-pity…if I let it go that far.
That can spiral into a lack of appreciation of the abundance. And that lack of appreciation can effect other areas I really want to experience abundance in, such as the area of finances.
After all, I know the best path to realizing financial abundance that already exists in my reality is appreciating all other forms of abundance that aren’t financial abundance.
Having a ton of things I COULD do, all of which thrill me to think about, IS ABUNDANCE. So rather than going down the path of negative thinking…
I get Positively Focused
I monitor my thoughts, right now, and practice accepting where I am, NOW and enjoying what I’m doing, NOW. I do this while realizing those other things I also want to do aren’t going anywhere.
And if I’m successful, which I usually am, I find myself in JOY, NOW. I don’t find myself in a Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO) belief about these other things I could be doing and therefore resenting or feeling impatient about, what I am doing now.
Does make sense?
Finding the Positively Focused space, not only do I realize plenty of time to enjoy all these things, I realize too a state of lightness, a lighter way of being. Standing there, life gets really good.
Because not only am I enjoying my now, in this day, the rest of this day and future days, get better too as there are more things to do than I can possibly do in a today. Which means, there are plenty of fulfilling, fun things to do tomorrow and the next day and the next.
That’s life mastery. It’s also how I make my days even better, happier days.
I’ve this new series “Q/A” to my blog. It’s…well…about answering questions I get through the internets and sharing those answers with others as they may help others feel inspired and more connected to the God they are.
Someone recently asked: How Can I Contact My Spirit Guides? I have such trouble clearing my mind and meditating.
Answer: What’s interesting about your question is, it is what is keeping you from contacting your spirit guides. You see, your guides are constantly communicating with you. At times you hear these messages, but most of the time you don’t, likely because of this question.
In other words, by asking the question, you’re saying in essence “I’m not hearing my spirit guide communicating with me”, when actually, you’re communicating with them all the time. You just don’t experience the communication because you think you’re not receiving it.
The way out is to stop asking the question. Instead, focus on evidence you know that convinces you you have spirit guides.
You do believe you have spirit guides, right? How do you know? Focus on what you know and you will come, in time, as you soothe your question-focus, naturally to the answer-focus, which will include hearing messages from your spirit guides.
It’s not that you need to clear your mind, although you do. But in “trying” to clear your mind, just like wanting to contact your guides, you’re focused on the “trouble”. Focus instead on how it will feel when your mind is clear…and you’ll discover yourself there.
This story is hilarious. I almost wrote “unflattering”, but you’ll see at the end that this story flatters me in the sense that I saw how this infuriating situation was also a massive blessing.
Summer’s sun, blue skies and Oregon’s hot breezy air called me out again last weekend. I love working outside along the Willamette River shores. I enjoy Ospreys above and salmon jumping skyward likely avoiding sea lions and their chisel like teeth.
I decided I wanted more of that, so I packed my bike. I packed light, my portable chair, my iPad and nothing more. I planned to finish reading Ross Douthat’s The Decadent Society, its insightful take on current reality had my attention for weeks now. I anticipated exploring Douthat’s take while enjoying the Oregon summer.
That’s not what happened though
Oregon’s governor recently eased lockdown mandates. With her decree, all of Oregon made similar plans. I expected a few people riverside, but wasn’t prepared for crowds that showed up.
A forty minute bike ride turned into an hour while I tried finding suitable, solitary rest stop. I finally decided on a rocky shore devoid of human for lack of any sand. But I had my chair. I didn’t need sand.
I parked my bike, set up my chair then settled into Douthat’s narrative. Thirty minutes later, a couple with two dogs showed up. The young, tattooed Portlanders led their dogs to the water’s edge, unleashed them and threw tennis balls into the river. The larger of the two dogs, a pit-bull, leapt into the water while its smaller puppy companion barked in envy. Then the puppy eased into the water, found it agreeable and went for a swim. I smiled then turned back to Douthat.
Minutes later, the puppy was licking at my bare legs. I’m not a dog person, but I can appreciate a cute pooch. On this day though, I just wanted to read in quiet on a beautiful day. It annoyed me that this dog suddenly was licking my leg. But what annoyed me more was the fact that its owner hadn’t done his legal duty of keeping his dog under control.
I lifted my legs away from the pooch, clearly annoyed, which the owner saw. He came bounding to my rescue, scooped up his dog with an apology and returned to his spot. There, he put it on a leash. His partner too re-leashed the Pit-bull.
All that was nice. But it was too late.
I got hooked in frustration-momentum
Momentum is a powerful thing. Especially negative momentum born of oft-told stories. I’ve harbored negative stories about dog owners who don’t keep their dogs leashed and therefore under control as leash laws mandate. So much so it’s one of my “pet peeves” (oh god! no pun intended!).
Recently when I read about a “Karen” from Central Park Manhattan who made a racist false police report against a fellow New Yorker who politely asked her to leash her dog in an area where a leash law was in force. The fellow New Yorker, a board member of the New York City Audubon Society who happens to be African American, recorded the whole incident. The recording went viral and popular outrage caused the woman to lose her job and her dog. Reportedly, New York is considering banning her permanently from Central Park and the District Attorney is considering pressing charges against her for making a false police report.
This story came to mind as that puppy slimed me. When its owner grabbed it and apologized, I mused whether he also thought about that Central Park incident.
The problem was, I didn’t shake the association, which would have been in my best interest. Comparing my experience to what happened to the Audubon Board Member wasn’t really fair. But old stories about my pet peeve combined with that viral Central Park experience in my head creating momentum that swept me up.
For the next half hour I couldn’t focus on my reading. My mind swirled around the association, my indignation, my annoyance and frustration….
What happened next was no surprise
The couple decided to pack up and leave, having I suppose, had enough time at the water’s edge. As they walked to the bike path, I heard the woman say to someone I couldn’t see “Sir, would you mind leashing your dog?”
The irony didn’t escape me. “Cosmic Justice” I thought. Little did I know said justice was just getting started…
I couldn’t hear the what the person she addressed said, but I heard what she was saying. I also got the annoyance in her tone:
“Why aren’t you willing to put your dog on a leash sir?” She asked. I turned, hoping to see who she addressed. I couldn’t see that person. She continued.
“My dog isn’t friendly,” she said. The person said something I didn’t hear.
“How many years have you been around my dog sir?” She replied. “I’m telling you my dog is not friendly.”
Apparently whoever she addressed had done nothing, so she reached down, picked up what looked like a 40 pound pit-bull and scrambled over rocks the rest of the way to the bike path with her male companion in tow.
I was thinking about karmic kickback, wondering how the couple felt now since they themselves hadn’t controlled their (little) dog. Which is why I hadn’t noticed that not seconds later another dog was sniffing at my leg!
It’s my turn…
I turned in surprise, saw the Husky, then darted around looking for the owner. Presumably this was the same person the young woman spoke with earlier. Finally I saw him sitting in a chair he set up behind me on the bike path’s edge.
My indignance increased. “Really?” I thought. “Twice in a row?” What did I expect? I create my reality. Here was the Universe serving me a big pile of pet peeve….a second helping if you will, this time via a Husky and yet another irresponsible owner.
But wait…it gets worse. Or rather, I got worse.
I should have known trying to get the owner to do anything about his scofflaw dog would be futile. After all I saw that play out just seconds ago. Never the less:
“Sir, would you please come get your dog!” I said with force ten annoyance.
The owner looked down at me, at his dog and said “he’s alright.”
“I’m not!” I said.
The owner said nothing.
At that, I’d had it!
Now I was fully in rage. That’s right, I was so angry, I was shaking. I wanted to strangle that damn dog and murder the owner. But I also knew it wasn’t the dog’s fault. So I directed all my rage (in my mind) at the owner. I wanted to first strangle him, then murder him!
I should mention I had the presence of mind at this moment to see the ironic humor here. A part of me knew what I was doing was ridiculous. It’s just a dog. But the principle folks, and the momentum of my pet peeve had me firm in its grip.
Clearly this guy wasn’t going to do anything about his dog. There was no way I could recover my state of calm at this point, not to mention focusing on Douthat’s prose. I decided then to gather my things and head home in a huff, which took all but a couple minutes.
But I couldn’t let it end that way. Noooo.
As I pushed my bike up to the bike trail, I made my “offender” clearly: white male in his 40s, beer in hand, listening to a transistor radio, minding his own business and cool as a 🥒. Perfect contrast to my seething rage, which at this point, boiled over and out my mouth:
“YOU’RE EXACTLY THE KIND OF PERSON WHO GIVES DOG OWNERS A BAD NAME!” I yelled in his general direction. I hopped on my bike and peeled away on the momentum of my righteous indignation. 😂🤣😊
That wasn’t the end of it.
A half-mile into my return trip, it struck me. What happened here? Why am I letting this situation shape how I feel? How I feel is more important than how I’m treated. In fact, I know by choosing how I interpret what happens in my life, I can create reality. Here I was doing what a noob at all this “you create your reality” business would do…
At this point, I should stop and say I know sometimes I’m going to get pissed. It’s just part of what happens when an eternal being comes into physical reality.
Thinking an enlightened person doesn’t get mad sometimes indicates misunderstanding about how physical reality works. Physical reality intentionally offers variety: things I want and things I don’t want. After all, how am I to know what I want if I don’t know what I don’t want?
How am I to know what thoughts feel better than others, if I don’t have a negative experience every now and then?
That’s what I thought one half mile into my return ride. And that’s when I decided I had the power here. I had choice.
So instead of continuing to seethe, I decided to put my attention on something else. Something more pleasing. So I noticed the blue sky. I noticed the green trees. I noticed how much I like riding my bike, how good the sun felt on my bare legs and arms, how good it feels on a Oregon summer day. In seconds I felt better. My feelings reminded me how wonderful it is working from Oregon’s riversides:
That’s when something amazing happened
The more I thought these thoughts, the better I felt. Then…
Ever had an experience where something happens, you react in a less than ideal way, then, later, you get a thought, an idea, an alternative way you could have responded that might have been more effective?
Well that’s what happened. In my increasing happiness I received an alternative scenario that played out in my mind. Rather than throwing a tantrum at the guy, I saw my self calmly rise, gather my things and my chair, walk up to the guy and set up my chair right next to him. So close our chairs touched side by side. Then I sat down, looked at him and began politely talking his ear off.
That’s when I burst out laughing, a belly laugh so strong it obliterated my anger. I let this alternative reality play through my mind, adding humorous bits here and there – I saw him looking at me surprised, then trying to ignore me, then suddenly packing up his things and stomping off, dog in tow off leash. I imagined him and I actually having a friendly conversation, chatting away like best friends. I imagined him and I sitting there, me chatting away and he trying to ignore my chatting tsunami in quiet annoyance…
And you know what happened next? The entire situation changed for me. No longer did I see him as the idiot epitome of bad dog ownership. Instead he became a shining example of what I could be.
This guy was doing his own thing, oblivious to what others thought and said about him
This guy was in his own reality, enjoying his life with his dog. So was the dog!
This guy had presence of mind, a centeredness so powerful, he appeared unphased by not only one, but two verbal aggressors trying to knock him off his rocker
As much as I want to vilify him, he demonstrated to me vibrational mastery. And at that point he went from villain to teacher.
I want to be like that. I want to be calm in the face of storms.
And, in fact I am, nearly all the time.
Which is another thing he taught me: that I am that nearly all the time. When I’m not, there’s always something great in the experience I learn about myself and about my Positively Focused practice.
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While on a walk the other day, I gathered and ate fruit offering itself along my walking path. Every bite tantalized my tastebuds. Halfway through, it hit me: Earth’s abundance abounds. Everywhere I look, something shows how reality showers us with everything.
I decided I’d share my epiphany in a Facebook photo album I created while on the walk. The next day, two, then three rashes appeared on my body. One under my left arm, another on my abdomen and a third on my lower left flank.
The rash on my belly…
Hard to see it, but there’s a rash on my flank…
A big rash under my arm…
This happened before, years ago, while walking. I plucked and ate plums from a tree in my neighborhood, then, hours later developed rashes under my left arm and lower left flank.
Back then I attributed the rash to a plum allergy.
Now I know better…
I haven’t had health insurance in three years. I stopped seeing doctors and paying healthcare premiums because I knew by then my well being wasn’t up to “modern medicine”.
If I create my reality though my beliefs, I concluded, “reality” must include the most intimate of my reality – my body – as well, since it, like everything around me, is physical.
Proving to myself “thoughts create reality” requires an “all in” mentality. I can’t believe I create my reality and still buy health insurance. That would mean I don’t really believe I create my reality. 😊
When I got clear in my head that doctors and diagnoses weren’t necessary, that a positive focus and beliefs consistent with that would be all the “healthcare” I needed, I stopped buying healthcare.
Since then I’ve never been sick. No colds, no injuries…not even a sniffle.
When these rashes happened, I figured their origin wasn’t in the fruit. It had to be in my thoughts and beliefs. I thought about what I thought about on my walk. It took a while, using the process through which I recall dreams: rather than trying to find the thoughts, which is near impossible, I opened my mind and tuned myself such that those previous thoughts came back to me like a radio signal.
What I found was surprising…
I wasn’t very positive on my walk! I realized while enjoying these luscious bountiful, juicy fruits, I also was thinking about what people thought as they saw me doing that. Here’s what I thought:
People are watching me and disapproving
People are going to think I’m homeless, that I eat fruit off these trees because I can’t afford do get food from the store
People are going to think I live on the street in a tent somewehre
Eating this free food is wrong. I should be buying food from a grocery store (!)
Food isn’t free (!)
This is not food (!)
Can you believe that? Forget the fact that, while I walked over seven miles I didn’t see a single person looking at me. Thinking food nature gives freely is somehow not food, and that eating directly from nature means you’re homeless is just plain ridiculous!
For a moment I thought “where the fuck did I get these kinds of thoughts/beliefs?” The answer came when I went down a long old road, into my youth…until I realized I didn’t need any explanation. All I needed: new beliefs.
Later that day, I remembered a post I recently wrote about everything one experiences being positive. I knew this belief discovery and these rashes indicated something good. So I looked anew at my old beliefs and my new rashes.
Maybe the rashes meant something else, thought. Maybe they pointed to these old beliefs on purpose. Maybe too they mean something more, something when uncovered, would cause greater expansion…an increased self awareness that creates greater Inner Being connection.
Here’s what happened next
A few hours later, these rashes really started itching. Just before bedtime I started scratching and scratching…like a dog with fleas…until I fell asleep.
Waking the next morning, as I usually do, I recalled my dreams using my dream recall and analysis process. That’s when it struck me: I wasn’t scratching. I wasn’t even itching. In fact, I couldn’t even feel the rashes.
Then, the moment I thought those thoughts, my rashes started itching.
My real discovery started then. It’s hard to put this in words because what happened happened at a level beyond words. I’ll try to explain…
I found a way to tune my awareness to a vibration where I perceived my reality in a certain way, such that, the rashes disappeared. When I tune there, even now, I don’t sense the rashes. It’s like I’m in an alternate reality where they don’t exist.
I’m still learning, so I go in and out. Some hours I have no rash. Then, for a few moments I’m scratching. This morning I woke to the same experience. It’s been a few days, almost a week, and I’m better at this tuning…and I notice when I tune there, not only do the rashes disappear in my awareness, I also find my awareness “broaden” so that I can feel potential…
Potential inherent in my desires…things I want I know are coming when I focus there, but for now they remain invisible to the eye. When I tune there, I feel joyful, peaceful, a sense of freedom and a clear knowing that everything I want is not only on the way, I can see evidence of it as it unfolds..
This is the positive aspect of this whole rash situation: it clarified negative beliefs I had lurking around just beneath my awareness. But more important, these rashes were a communication from my Inner Being, a path of least resistance to me getting that a new frequency exists allowing perception of my now and my emerging nows, those future moments containing some of my biggest desires.
As you can imagine, I’m practicing this tuning even more. I’m also excited to share this practice with my clients. But I’m going to refine my ability with it before I share so when I do, I can share the entire story.
It’s going to be good. I know that because it already is!
The entire experience reminded me how irrelevant others’ opinions are. When I include them in my awareness they activate old beliefs that no longer serve me. Doing that brings dis-ease. But manifested dis-ease is beneficial. Looking underneath superficial manifestations reveals rich information. Such insights will lead to wondrous new perspectives, if I’m willing to take the plunge.
It’s natural. Everything becomes more — plants, species, systems, knowledge, cities, families — everything strives towards more, especially human desire.
Knowing that, I praise human greed, judgement and selfishness because those mechanisms mirror universal mechanics: All That Is is greedy and selfish and lovingly judging — choosing — loving itself so deep it craves to know more about itself. That orientation, towards itself, wanting joyfully, freely, to know, propels all else.
What better way then to know itself than to make more of itself, and have each microcosmic representation of itself also want more too! In loving desire to know, to feel, and eventually realize each self as the whole, as it is, itself? Not a “part” of the whole, but the entire “whole” itself?
I know the more my awareness includes recognizing my magnificent blessedness, my invincibility, the more of that flows into my awareness. Awareness is all there is. Outside of it nothing exists. So blessedness is what it feels like as my awareness expands, revealing more of what is, which springs forth from my selfish desire to know more, which propels greater awareness and therefore more to know. And what better avenue to know the more that is there to know, than an insatiable flow of desires, each desire birthing by virtue of its existence, it’s fulfillment?
This is why I know everything I want, as I judge them, then choose them, standing in selfish, loving, desire for what I’ve chosen, must become realized by me. For I want it and so it is not only good, it is done.
That’s the magnificent blessedness. That expands exponentially. The more I focus my desire on desiring more of it, the more of it I real-ize.
I know All That Is is Positively Focused. I cultivate a Positively Focused perspective too because doing that matches me to All That Is. I love how I feel doing that. Ecstasy is real, flowing over me in great waves. When those waves crash over me, which happens often during the day, it feels surreal. But I know it’s real. I know it’s real because when I feel that consistently, my desires fulfill themselves as evidence of all this real-ness. For example, I desire seeing my client list grow. I love my clients as I love myself. The more clients come, the more I remain in heightened Positive Focus. After all, I serve my clients best when I come from there.
In the last two months, my client roster doubled. That doubling signals universal response to my desires. I relish the future where a full calendar greets me each day, where clients and I joyfully share our Positive Focus and from that celebrate together desires fulfilling themselves.
Some think, when looking for example at my other company Copiosis, that such things can’t happen in a single lifetime if at all. Their presumption belies beliefs creating realities consistent with themselves. What these people don’t realize is eternal love (which is what we all are) expands exponentially.
Everything I want already happened. My job: line up with those future probable and alternate realities so they, like the sun rising and clouds forming in the sky, flow into my day-to-day.
I love seeing some Christians get this too. In their newfound awareness, they interpret the Bible different these days. The picture above, shared by a friend, is a snap from “Daily Light” by Kim Clement. I like it because it encourages a Positively Focus.
There’s nothing like hell. There is only heaven…on Earth as it is in nonphysical. When Positively Focused, I get heaven. Positively Focused is the heaven to which Jesus alludes.
That’s why, like this passage, I search for the good in everything. It’s so small a price to pay for what I get that it really isn’t a price at all.
Getting what you want doesn’t need a ton of effort
This is an actual client who lives in rural America. Through being Positively Focused, she got her dream job, a ton of boys knocking at her door and, most important, she’s happy. What else could a young woman want? It’s all so fun getting all this with little effort on her part. Hear her tell it in her own (unscripted) words.
I know living a life loved comes easy. My life goes that way. I got started being Positively Focused. Then I discovered what we all are: Gods in human form.