Sometimes You Gotta Seethe In Rage

Seething
Photo by David Taffet on Unsplash

Three weeks ago I wrote how every negative situation is positive. Well this week brought such a crazy-ass example of that, I shared it with all my clients. Now I want to share it with you.

This story is hilarious. I almost wrote “unflattering”, but you’ll see at the end that this story flatters me in the sense that I saw how this infuriating situation was also a massive blessing.

Summer’s sun, blue skies and Oregon’s hot breezy air called me out again last weekend. I love working outside along the Willamette River shores. I enjoy Ospreys above and salmon jumping skyward likely avoiding sea lions and their chisel like teeth.

I decided I wanted more of that, so I packed my bike. I packed light, my portable chair, my iPad and nothing more. I planned to finish reading Ross Douthat’s The Decadent Society, its insightful take on current reality had my attention for weeks now. I anticipated exploring Douthat’s take while enjoying the Oregon summer.

Beach scene
The usual spot I work from on summer Oregon days…by the Willamette’s beautiful shores… 

That’s not what happened though

Oregon’s governor recently eased lockdown mandates. With her decree, all of Oregon made similar plans. I expected a few people riverside, but wasn’t prepared for crowds that showed up.

A forty minute bike ride turned into an hour while I tried finding suitable, solitary rest stop. I finally decided on a rocky shore devoid of human for lack of any sand. But I had my chair. I didn’t need sand.

I parked my bike, set up my chair then settled into Douthat’s narrative. Thirty minutes later, a couple with two dogs showed up. The young, tattooed Portlanders led their dogs to the water’s edge, unleashed them and threw tennis balls into the river. The larger of the two dogs, a pit-bull, leapt into the water while its smaller puppy companion barked in envy. Then the puppy eased into the water, found it agreeable and went for a swim. I smiled then turned back to Douthat.

Minutes later, the puppy was licking at my bare legs. I’m not a dog person, but I can appreciate a cute pooch. On this day though, I just wanted to read in quiet on a beautiful day. It annoyed me that this dog suddenly was licking my leg. But what annoyed me more was the fact that its owner hadn’t done his legal duty of keeping his dog under control.

I lifted my legs away from the pooch, clearly annoyed, which the owner saw. He came bounding to my rescue, scooped up his dog with an apology and returned to his spot. There, he put it on a leash. His partner too re-leashed the Pit-bull.

All that was nice. But it was too late.

I got hooked in frustration-momentum

Momentum is a powerful thing. Especially negative momentum born of oft-told stories. I’ve harbored negative stories about dog owners who don’t keep their dogs leashed and therefore under control as leash laws mandate. So much so it’s one of my “pet peeves” (oh god! no pun intended!).

Recently when I read about a “Karen” from Central Park Manhattan who made a racist false police report against a fellow New Yorker who politely asked her to leash her dog in an area where a leash law was in force. The fellow New Yorker, a board member of the New York City Audubon Society who happens to be African American, recorded the whole incident. The recording went viral and popular outrage caused the woman to lose her job and her dog. Reportedly, New York is considering banning her permanently from Central Park and the District Attorney is considering pressing charges against her for making a false police report.

This story came to mind as that puppy slimed me. When its owner grabbed it and apologized, I mused whether he also thought about that Central Park incident.

The problem was, I didn’t shake the association, which would have been in my best interest. Comparing my experience to what happened to the Audubon Board Member wasn’t really fair. But old stories about my pet peeve combined with that viral Central Park experience in my head creating momentum that swept me up.

For the next half hour I couldn’t focus on my reading. My mind swirled around the association, my indignation, my annoyance and frustration….

Dog lick
I don’t hate dogs. Dogs love me as much as I love them…sometimes…🤣

What happened next was no surprise

The couple decided to pack up and leave, having I suppose, had enough time at the water’s edge. As they walked to the bike path, I heard the woman say to someone I couldn’t see “Sir, would you mind leashing your dog?”

The irony didn’t escape me. “Cosmic Justice” I thought. Little did I know said justice was just getting started…

I couldn’t hear the what the person she addressed said, but I heard what she was saying. I also got the annoyance in her tone:

“Why aren’t you willing to put your dog on a leash sir?” She asked. I turned, hoping to see who she addressed. I couldn’t see that person. She continued.

“My dog isn’t friendly,” she said. The person said something I didn’t hear.

“How many years have you been around my dog sir?” She replied. “I’m telling you my dog is not friendly.”

Apparently whoever she addressed had done nothing, so she reached down, picked up what looked like a 40 pound pit-bull and scrambled over rocks the rest of the way to the bike path with her male companion in tow.

I was thinking about karmic kickback, wondering how the couple felt now since they themselves hadn’t controlled their (little) dog. Which is why I hadn’t noticed that not seconds later another dog was sniffing at my leg!

It’s my turn…

I turned in surprise, saw the Husky, then darted around looking for the owner. Presumably this was the same person the young woman spoke with earlier. Finally I saw him sitting in a chair he set up behind me on the bike path’s edge.

My indignance increased. “Really?” I thought. “Twice in a row?” What did I expect? I create my reality. Here was the Universe serving me a big pile of pet peeve….a second helping if you will, this time via a Husky and yet another irresponsible owner.

But wait…it gets worse. Or rather, I got worse.

I should have known trying to get the owner to do anything about his scofflaw dog would be futile. After all I saw that play out just seconds ago. Never the less:

“Sir, would you please come get your dog!” I said with force ten annoyance.

The owner looked down at me, at his dog and said “he’s alright.”

“I’m not!” I said.

The owner said nothing.

At that, I’d had it!

Now I was fully in rage. That’s right, I was so angry, I was shaking. I wanted to strangle that damn dog and murder the owner. But I also knew it wasn’t the dog’s fault. So I directed all my rage (in my mind) at the owner. I wanted to first strangle him, then murder him!

I should mention I had the presence of mind at this moment to see the ironic humor here. A part of me knew what I was doing was ridiculous. It’s just a dog. But the principle folks, and the momentum of my pet peeve had me firm in its grip.

Clearly this guy wasn’t going to do anything about his dog. There was no way I could recover my state of calm at this point, not to mention focusing on Douthat’s prose. I decided then to gather my things and head home in a huff, which took all but a couple minutes.

But I couldn’t let it end that way. Noooo.

As I pushed my bike up to the bike trail, I made my “offender” clearly: white male in his 40s, beer in hand, listening to a transistor radio, minding his own business and cool as a 🥒. Perfect contrast to my seething rage, which at this point, boiled over and out my mouth:

“YOU’RE EXACTLY THE KIND OF PERSON WHO GIVES DOG OWNERS A BAD NAME!” I yelled in his general direction. I hopped on my bike and peeled away on the momentum of my righteous indignation. 😂🤣😊

That wasn’t the end of it.

A half-mile into my return trip, it struck me. What happened here? Why am I letting this situation shape how I feel? How I feel is more important than how I’m treated. In fact, I know by choosing how I interpret what happens in my life, I can create reality. Here I was doing what a noob at all this “you create your reality” business would do…

At this point, I should stop and say I know sometimes I’m going to get pissed. It’s just part of what happens when an eternal being comes into physical reality.

Thinking an enlightened person doesn’t get mad sometimes indicates misunderstanding about how physical reality works. Physical reality intentionally offers variety: things I want and things I don’t want. After all, how am I to know what I want if I don’t know what I don’t want?

How am I to know what thoughts feel better than others, if I don’t have a negative experience every now and then?

That’s what I thought one half mile into my return ride. And that’s when I decided I had the power here. I had choice.

So instead of continuing to seethe, I decided to put my attention on something else. Something more pleasing. So I noticed the blue sky. I noticed the green trees. I noticed how much I like riding my bike, how good the sun felt on my bare legs and arms, how good it feels on a Oregon summer day. In seconds I felt better. My feelings reminded me how wonderful it is working from Oregon’s riversides:

 

That’s when something amazing happened

The more I thought these thoughts, the better I felt. Then…

Ever had an experience where something happens, you react in a less than ideal way, then, later, you get a thought, an idea, an alternative way you could have responded that might have been more effective?

Well that’s what happened. In my increasing happiness I received an alternative scenario that played out in my mind. Rather than throwing a tantrum at the guy, I saw my self calmly rise, gather my things and my chair, walk up to the guy and set up my chair right next to him. So close our chairs touched side by side. Then I sat down, looked at him and began politely talking his ear off.

That’s when I burst out laughing, a belly laugh so strong it obliterated my anger. I let this alternative reality play through my mind, adding humorous bits here and there – I saw him looking at me surprised, then trying to ignore me, then suddenly packing up his things and stomping off, dog in tow off leash. I imagined him and I actually having a friendly conversation, chatting away like best friends. I imagined him and I sitting there, me chatting away and he trying to ignore my chatting tsunami in quiet annoyance…

And you know what happened next? The entire situation changed for me. No longer did I see him as the idiot epitome of bad dog ownership. Instead he became a shining example of what I could be.

Consider this:

  • This guy was doing his own thing, oblivious to what others thought and said about him
  • This guy was in his own reality, enjoying his life with his dog. So was the dog!
  • This guy had presence of mind, a centeredness so powerful, he appeared unphased by not only one, but two verbal aggressors trying to knock him off his rocker

As much as I want to vilify him, he demonstrated to me vibrational mastery. And at that point he went from villain to teacher.

I want to be like that. I want to be calm in the face of storms.

And, in fact I am, nearly all the time.

Which is another thing he taught me: that I am that nearly all the time.  When I’m not, there’s always something great in the experience I learn about myself and about my Positively Focused practice.

simon-maage-KTzZVDjUsXw-unsplash

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Abundant life: It Teems

Sitting on a park bench makes me a witness to earth’s teeming biome. Look as spaces between living trees teems with as much life as that which exists on each tree’s surface, or the life in the park, including the woman and her dog, children and squirrels playing, grass and fruit and flowers all frolicking…

Flying life clouds the air ignored by all but that which flies among it. Smaller life becoming meals for bigger life, while seeds and spores pass borne on winds whose origins begin in earth’s upper atmosphere as it rises with the sun’s heat, then returns to earth as cools in its ascent.

I sit here kissed by that same wind while resting on what remains nevertheless a living thing that once was a tree and now is a park bench. It too composed of countless life forms, as countless as those coursing through and in and out of me.

Life has no bounds anywhere. Everywhere we turn life beats us there. It is both creator and creation, reveling in itself. Taken in its totality, it is All That Is. Just as I am.

What a Positively Focused 1:1 Session Looks Like

All_Enlightenment 2

Prospective clients sometimes ask about what client sessions are like. Some wonder what I do with clients. Let’s take that last question first.

I provide context where clients get clear about who and what they are. In that clarity, they find what I found in my own clarity: That they create their life experience ongoingly.

When they find that, life takes a turn. It becomes fulfilling, fun, fantasical seeming, although it’s not fantastical, it’s just how life works when Positively Focused.

Gradually clients enter their creative powers while learning, or re-learning how their creative powers work. They find happiness, freedom and joy.

I show clients their power and how to get it through a mystical experience that feels like a conversation.

Now the first question:

What are client sessions like?

Client sessions are conversations where I share insights about what my clients talk about. The insights open greater awareness, both for clients and for me. Since I give clients access to me through text and email as well as our in-person sessions, I can share an example of how a session sounds.

The following is an email from a client who lives with his wife. Married many years, Clifton (not his real name) now wants out. He wants out because he finds his situation, including his wife Margo (not her real name either), intolerable.

Behind Clifton’s perceptions are belief constellations creating his intolerable situations, including Margo. Clifton is on his eighth session. Already he’s seen seemingly extraordinary shifts in his wife. Only they are not extraordinary.

By learning how to create his reality on purpose, Clifton has created a new-to-him version of Margo and a new-to-him version of their marriage. Clifton wants his freedom. But he knows he can’t have that until he makes peace with his current reality.

Being Positively Focused does that. It also makes his experience of his changing reality more fun, as you’ll read from this email exchange. Clifton gave me permission to share this exchange provided I remove identifying details. The bolded sections are Clifton’s comments, with mine following.

dreading
Photo by Jeremy Yap on Unsplash

It’s the dreading one feels liberated from

So, I paid my income taxes today. Almost $4500. I had been dreading it and still haven’t filled out a return (though now I have REAL motivation to do so, ha ha), and was thinking , “Send them a crumb” — which is how I’ve done it for years. Throw the wolves a bone now and again and they’ll back off for a while (until they get hungry again). This year, practically at the last minute, I threw them the whole carcass.
It was liberating. I realize that I’ve always felt “liberated” (at least temporarily) whenever I am able to pay these creditors off at the calends (first of the month), and then I don’t have to worry about it anymore. Gives one a feeling of power.

It’s interesting, isn’t it, how something “dreaded” once done turns “dread” into “liberation”. Remember what emotions are about. Then ask yourself: what is it I feel liberation from? Is it really the taxes? Or is it the “dreadful” feeling, which indicates something important, and when freed from that you connect with something that feels comparatively liberating and powerful? Interesting thing to consider.

I have $50,000 tied up, but currently collecting nine percent annual interest compounded, some gold coins and another $10,000 currently tied up in the van (I cleaned it up and put a “For Sale” sign on it, but have yet to put an ad on Craigslist)

Most of the day was spent in that “Joy/Freedom” space. I had a good piano lesson with Sergi (graduate of a music academy in the old Soviet Union – can’t recall which, but it was a prestigious one). Earlier that day, I had been looking at a very wide screen monitor, 2nd hand at a local computer store. The store owner called me and informed be the price was almost $400 – more than I cared to pay, and I politely told him so and thanked him for getting in touch. I could have, of course – but I feel I should be spending those dollars on other things. Anyway, sure enough, I had a “hunch” on the way home and stopped at Goodwill. Found a working 48-in. TV that will double very nicely as an entertainment screen and a computer monitor. Price – $50. I liked that a whole lot better than $400. And it’s bigger. Yes, the stand’s a bit wobbly (probably why it was given away), but I imagine that’s just a matter of tightening a screw or two.

Nice job following the hunch. Life is an adventure, or can be, when one connects with All That Is and allows it to lead one to all one wants. It also becomes treasure hunt-ish. Who knows what lies around the next bend or building? And, the best footing from which to play the adventure is in “Joy/Freedom”. Absolutely.

coffee cup
Photo by Beth Jnr on Unsplash

Everyone seeks internal connection on their way…

Also feels good to me to reuse and/or repurpose something. That includes composting. I am not a fan of gardening (one source of conflict between Margo and I), but at least composting is a good way to make use of food that has “gone off” and would otherwise be wasted.

See the differing interests between you and Margo as wonderful sources of both joy and variety. Joy in that what you love you love and what she loves she loves…and you both get the same thing from both your loves: connection with your Broader Perspective.

Variety in that, in the relief of your partner’s passion, you, rather than being turned off by that, can turn instead (turn the other cheek) to YOUR passion and feel exactly what she feels when she’s tending to her plants: connection, flow, fun, exuberance.

Then, perhaps, you can feel appreciation – not conflict – when you turn back to what she enjoys, knowing she’s getting from her passion the same thing you get from yours and so your passion and hers are not all that dissimilar.

Not that it matters, or maybe it does – but I was in the market for a large monitor because as a composer, I often work with very large scores – and it is tremendously helpful to see as much of it as possible. Not practical on small monitors.

That you are “in the market” matters. You’re on your way…you’ve been on your way, but also have been resisting the “way”…to your dreams. The monitor is a manifestation – a sign post – indicating your waywardness. I use that word not in it’s traditional definition, which is negative, but in a new way, indicating “toward your way”. The way you connected with that TV indicates your “compliance” with your Broader Perspective.

And just as you were compliant [in such a way you realized previous, important manifestations] and now this manifestation, there will be many more instances of delight on your way….which is why life never creates wham-bang manifestations that happen in an instant like magic. Instant manifestation happens in nonphysical. But in the world of manifested things, All is set up so you can enjoy and savor the JOURNEY towards the destination. Each moment is a realization. The more you come into this conversation, the clearer your awareness and the more you’ll see this statement’s accuracy.

on the couch
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Most don’t see manifestation evidence because they don’t know what it looks like

This week, I also had the impulse to add something to an unrelated tweet [on Twitter]. Some actor had put himself out there, advising any directors or producers of his availability and experience.  I retweeted and added that if anyone was looking for a great film composer, please consider me – and added links to samples of my work on YouTube. A couple of people retweeted it…usually, I don’t hold out much hope for these sort of things, but one never knows…trying to stay open to the possibilities.

This is a great example of your mixed energies. You don’t hold out much hope, but at the same time you “never know”. So you took action based on hope/who knows…and you saw a tiny manifestation of desire (that someone retweeted the tweet) outweighing your disbelief [expressed as “don’t hold out much hope”. Most miss these instances of evidence. Now you know it’s more evidence of you on your way. Nice.

Like the double recliner I bought for what I plan to be my “apartment/suite.” I sleep best in a recliner, which are typically for one —  but when I saw it, I started thinking, “Hmmm…what if I get lucky?” Wouldn’t want to live with someone in that space (it’s pretty small), but it could be a nice place to entertain… 😆

Enjoy this unfolding process right up until you wake one morning with someone beside you and you get how you manifested them as you manifested the recliner! Objects, people, circumstances…the entire Universe: at your command.

Margo and I have been getting on better, I think. Monday evening, she apologized for being short with me earlier, but she had been feeling poorly (infected insect bites) and just wanted to do the Garbot thing (“I vant to be alone!”) I told her I felt her pain and understood completely – but in the future, please just come out and say that. I’ll respect it. (Actually, I’m glad to, ha ha)

I’m sure you would be happy to respect it. Isn’t it nice to see the movement forward with her? And didn’t it confirm our conversation about her that whenever someone appears upset with you, it’s never about you? It’s about THEM. ALWAYS.

Their connection (or rather their LACK of connection) to their Inner Being…that’s always the source of negative emotion. So next time you can know…and accept…and then run for the hills, when she indicates disconnection through ornery emotional expression!

Her infection and current state of well-being is also why I am yet again postponing telling her we need to get a divorce. Yes, because I think we have grown in different directions and neither of us are happy in the relationship the way we should be. Officially however, it is for financial reasons.

I have consulted with lawyers and financial advisers, and they basically say the same thing – I will be better able to provide for her if she is not my legal spouse. There is nothing illegal about it, couples often do it because one needs disability payments and it is impossible for one spouse to totally support the disabled one. Also true if they continue to cohabit. I knew someone who continued to live with his ex. And of course, we haven’t shared a room for years – and soon, I’ll have a whole space, complete with kitchen and bath, to myself. I have put this off for way too long. And I need to do it like, yesterday. But she’s feeling bad right now, and she’s not terribly stable in general. I am afraid for her.

“Fear” is an emotion. Fear for another indicates you, looking at another and seeing that person differently from how your Broader Perspective sees that same person. Yes, there are aspects of reality you think confirm the “truth” of what you think might happen if she were on her own. And, your strong fear indicates you creating a reality in which you get to witness her being exactly as you are creating her.

And…there’s another version of her you could draw to you and so experience. The same way you’ve done with her and her disconnection caused from insect bites. You are allowing more of the person you know her to be to shine through. But for now, it’s prudent to proceed on this path. It is, for both of you, the path with the least angst. Always a good idea: following that path.

two guys talking
Photo by Juan Miguel Agudo on Unsplash

Everything you want is right on your path

Eventually, I really don’t want to be living under the same roof with her – but for now, I have been attempting to rebuild some kind of relationship so she knows she’s cared about and won’t have to worry about her basic needs and won’t be abandoned to fend for herself (at this point, it would be like abandoning a child).

Anyway – this is how I must present it. As a strictly financial decision. Nothing else changes. We continue going on as we have, living in the same house (which will continue to be community property). She remains my sole heir and beneficiary. She’ll be able to get disability payments and EBT and remain eligible for Medicaid.

The difference is, I’m a free man. Period. What I will do with that freedom or how it will play out, I have no idea, but I’m staying open. She’ll be free as well. Gods know, I’ve tried to encourage her in her writing, and mostly the way she relates to animals. If there was an office of Ambassador to the Animal World (or at least carnivores, bovines and equines), Margo would do the job better than anyone else I know.

All this is good stuff. Mahayana Buddhists would say you’re being her Bodhisattva in creating such a caring landscape for her. It is good as I know you feel good taking this path.

Encourage her in thought, but don’t voice them. Let her and her Inner Being come to the realization wherein she puts her passions into practice and from that she creates a whole new world where money comes into her life easily and swiftly.

Sometimes, I think she’d be happier with her brother, running his huge ranch cabin as a B&B, taking care of the horses and the sheep and the dogs and cats. It’s what she spends most of her time and energy on anyway (and she complains about it, but I usually tease her, “You know you love it!”) So that’s where things stand…I’ve asked that “Broader Perspective” of mine to let me know when the right moment to announce the divorce is. About all I can do at this point.

Yes. As with the saw, as with the TV, as with everything you want, this is the best path. Do so and watch how easy the conversation goes. The more experiences like these you have, the more convinced you’ll become that this is the only way you want to live: surprised and delighted. Which is how you knew your experience would be when you first decided to come into physical reality.

It’s all in the joy

My clients come enthusiastic about what we do together. The moment we start, they feel resonance with what we talk about. In short order they get results. That’s why I offer a 100 percent money back guarantee. Everyone gets the result. Schedule your free 1:1 session.

I Love Positive Focus

I’m feeling resonant with my desires. I know my reality already changed. It matched my desire. Here I am at the park, being, enjoying being, feeling free, having no thoughts or active beliefs most people do about their health, about job insecurity, about lost love or insecure love, about finances…

None of this enters my awareness (other than the brief moment while I wrote the above) instead, I focus on the breeze at my back, indicating I move swiftly along my unfolding path. I focus on the beautiful day, indicating I’m creating reality consistent with desire. I focus on the song I’m listening to, the peaceful stillness in this park, the joy I felt working with a client 90 minutes ago, the smile in that woman’s face, the ease with which I just walked over four miles….

The nursery rhyme nails it:

Row row row your boat
Gently with the stream
Merrily merrily merrily merrily
Life is but a dream.

Life is a dream and becoming more so. I love my positive focus.

How Dis-ease Leads To Enlightenment

Its all enlightenment
Hans Vivek on Unsplash

While on a walk the other day, I gathered and ate fruit offering itself along my walking path. Every bite tantalized my tastebuds. Halfway through, it hit me: Earth’s abundance abounds. Everywhere I look, something shows how reality showers us with everything.

I decided I’d share my epiphany in a Facebook photo album I created while on the walk. The next day, two, then three rashes appeared on my body. One under my left arm, another on my abdomen and a third on my lower left flank.

This happened before, years ago, while walking. I plucked and ate plums from a tree in my neighborhood, then, hours later developed rashes under my left arm and lower left flank.

Back then I attributed the rash to a plum allergy.

Fruit found
Some of the fruit I found on my walk…yum!

Now I know better…

I haven’t had health insurance in three years. I stopped seeing doctors and paying healthcare premiums because I knew by then my well being wasn’t up to “modern medicine”.

If I create my reality though my beliefs, I concluded, “reality” must include the most intimate of my reality – my body – as well, since it, like everything around me, is physical.

Proving to myself “thoughts create reality” requires an “all in” mentality. I can’t believe I create my reality and still buy health insurance. That would mean I don’t really believe I create my reality. 😊

When I got clear in my head that doctors and diagnoses weren’t necessary, that a positive focus and beliefs consistent with that would be all the “healthcare” I needed, I stopped buying healthcare.

Since then I’ve never been sick. No colds, no injuries…not even a sniffle.

When these rashes happened, I figured their origin wasn’t in the fruit. It had to be in my thoughts and beliefs. I thought about what I thought about on my walk. It took a while, using the process through which I recall dreams: rather than trying to find the thoughts, which is near impossible, I opened my mind and tuned myself such that those previous thoughts came back to me like a radio signal.

What I found was surprising…

I wasn’t very positive on my walk! I realized while enjoying these luscious bountiful, juicy fruits, I also was thinking about what people thought as they saw me doing that. Here’s what I thought:

  • People are watching me and disapproving
  • People are going to think I’m homeless, that I eat fruit off these trees because I can’t afford do get food from the store
  • People are going to think I live on the street in a tent somewehre
  • Eating this free food is wrong. I should be buying food from a grocery store (!)
  • Food isn’t free (!)
  • This is not food (!)

Can you believe that? Forget the fact that, while I walked over seven miles I didn’t see a single person looking at me. Thinking food nature gives freely is somehow not food, and that eating directly from nature means you’re homeless is just plain ridiculous!

For a moment I thought “where the fuck did I get these kinds of thoughts/beliefs?” The answer came when I went down a long old road, into my youth…until I realized I didn’t need any explanation. All I needed: new beliefs.

Later that day, I remembered a post I recently wrote about everything one experiences being positive. I knew this belief discovery and these rashes indicated something good. So I looked anew at my old beliefs and my new rashes.

Maybe the rashes meant something else, thought. Maybe they pointed to these old beliefs on purpose. Maybe too they mean something more, something when uncovered, would cause greater expansion…an increased self awareness that creates greater Inner Being connection.

Something_More

Here’s what happened next

A few hours later, these rashes really started itching. Just before bedtime I started scratching and scratching…like a dog with fleas…until I fell asleep.

Waking the next morning, as I usually do, I recalled my dreams using my dream recall and analysis process. That’s when it struck me: I wasn’t scratching. I wasn’t even itching. In fact, I couldn’t even feel the rashes.

Then, the moment I thought those thoughts, my rashes started itching.

My real discovery started then. It’s hard to put this in words because what happened happened at a level beyond words. I’ll try to explain…

I found a way to tune my awareness to a vibration where I perceived my reality in a certain way, such that, the rashes disappeared. When I tune there, even now, I don’t sense the rashes. It’s like I’m in an alternate reality where they don’t exist.

I’m still learning, so I go in and out. Some hours I have no rash. Then, for a few moments I’m scratching. This morning I woke to the same experience. It’s been a few days, almost a week, and I’m better at this tuning…and I notice when I tune there, not only do the rashes disappear in my awareness, I also find my awareness “broaden” so that I can feel potential…

Potential what?

Potential inherent in my desires…things I want I know are coming when I focus there, but for now they remain invisible to the eye. When I tune there, I feel joyful, peaceful, a sense of freedom and a clear knowing that everything I want is not only on the way, I can see evidence of it as it unfolds..

This is the positive aspect of this whole rash situation: it clarified negative beliefs I had lurking around just beneath my awareness. But more important, these rashes were a communication from my Inner Being, a path of least resistance to me getting that a new frequency exists allowing perception of my now and my emerging nows, those future moments containing some of my biggest desires.

As you can imagine, I’m practicing this tuning even more. I’m also excited to share this practice with my clients. But I’m going to refine my ability with it before I share so when I do, I can share the entire story.

It’s going to be good. I know that because it already is!

The entire experience reminded me how irrelevant others’ opinions are. When I include them in my awareness they activate old beliefs that no longer serve me. Doing that brings dis-ease. But manifested dis-ease is beneficial. Looking underneath superficial manifestations reveals rich information. Such insights will lead to wondrous new perspectives, if I’m willing to take the plunge.

Sometimes I’m not. I’m glad I was this time.

Dream-Reality Paradox

Sharing this entry from my journal as it may benefit others.

^^Bent knees discover great shots.

I’m on a walk. I was listening to a podcast when dreams I had this morning again flowed into my awareness as they do in sleep state, only I’m awake and walking.

^^the path along my walk

My brain is not a filing cabinet. It does not house “memories” in tidy, organized compartments within and among its folds. Rather, it is a frequency transmitter/receiver (as are other organs) sending and receiving signals controlled and emitted by nonphysical sense organs. Sense organs correspond to physical senses. Everyone uses these chaotically in dreams. Most are unaware of them during wake state.

These nonphysical senses are imperceptible when I focus exclusively on physical existence, yet I can deliberately, more and more control these in sleep state and wake state as I practice being Positively Focused. All this I know, not theoretically, but empirically.

As an emerging master

I know then these delicious, ecstatic and lucid images and sounds and feelings, returning to my awareness while waking and walking, mean that on my walk I tapped into frequencies matching dream state frequencies.

Their arrival also means my Positively Focused practice pays off: I dream even while walking, meaning, my awareness simultaneously perceives in wake state and dreamscape. No small feat indeed.

The first images returning feature a tumultuous sea restrained and yet cooperating with a sea wall. As I focus here, now on these images, by virtue of my practice, many other dream scenes now flow/return to my awareness.  Waves of magnificent and infinite amplitude and power crash against these walls. Yet, despite the appearance of conflicting purposes — the sea’s desire to vanquish and thus overflow the wall, the wall’s desire to hold back the sea — the feeling tone of their combined energies is harmony of purpose, joyful energy sharing and mutual acknowledgement of one another’s role in the collective representation of that which my Inner Being is using to communicate with me, the wake state version of my Inner Being awareness.

That’s worth reading a second time. 😌

But wait…there’s more…

Recognizing this, waves of appreciation and joy sweep over me…not unlike these dream waves…overcoming resistance that once was my total exclusive focus in physical reality. For there once was a time when I didn’t know for certain, as I do now, nonphysical’s existence, nor was I, back then, aware I dreamt.

With that certainty now flows what’s known as “the secrets of the Universe”, known as that only because so few take time to find them.

Through these secrets I draw to me dream interpretation clarity:

  • The tumultuous sea represents massive changes underway in the broader context.
  • The massiveness of the waves and their power represent the intensity of my focus and my intention that Great Good result from all this (which is what’s happening).
  • The wall represents humanity’s resistance to the change.
  • The cooperative nature of both represent cocreation of a future bringing tectonic shifts in some humans, and my own awareness, which must equal identical shifts in my reality and collective reality.

Indeed, my perspective in this dream is not that of standing on the sea wall, nor on the tumultuous sea. Rather it is above both. A “God’s eye” view. That positioning too coordinates and cooperates with both wall and sea, meaning, I am both and more.

^^Trees and grass, roots and soil

Writing that sends shivers down my spine right now, indicating at the same time the accuracy of my interpretation and my Inner Being’s exaltation in my extraordinary clarity.

Oh how I stand in the now, focused on trees and grass, roots and soil, leaves and sky, eager and joyful knowing, not by faith, but by the clarity of my life experience, that everything is working out, that I am blessed, as all are, and that I am the center of the Universe, God in human form.

^^…leaves and sky

And that is why I encourage and practice being positively deranged through a Positively Focused practice. It feels so good. And feeling good brings delight, insight as well as real life experiences matching that.

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Waking in bliss

Mornings are joyous moments when I’m living in between two states that actually are one: dream life and walking life. I enjoy feeling wonderful and pleasure about both. I enjoy seeing how each informs the other. It’s beautiful feeling pleasure in both: coming out of dream state in ecstasy, moving into wake state in eager anticipation, knowing both contribute unique aspect that taken together form thrilling, joyous awareness of All That Is’ perfection as it constantly expands into more.

What Joy to be alive. What joy to be. What joy.

I See God (Myself) Everywhere

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Evidence that God exists is so abundant, I wonder sometimes why humans invented this thing called faith.

A great post landed in my inbox this week about how to create results. Joe Dalio’s writings blend Law of Attraction with Christianity which is an interesting perspective given so many Christians have negative attachment to Law of Attraction.

Joe’s post moved me, so I wrote a response:

I find that when one understands what is being shared by Great Teachers, faith becomes unnecessary, because evidence of “answered prayers” abounds. Faith becomes necessary in the absence of evidence. Since evidence abounds, faith isn’t necessary. So then, how does one see evidence?

It’s challenging sharing uplifting knowledge because such information is best shared through long conversations. But your bottom line is spot on: the external world springs from the internal one. Get the latter right and the former must match the latter so long as the former, righted, is held consistently, even in the perceived absence of evidence…

That brings me back to faith. The external, physical world as it is now, evidences everyone’s beliefs as they are now. As you say, “When your…mind believes something to be true, then it is, and you will soon experience its truth.” All around us we find confirmed beliefs…our truths. The matter is one of seeing beliefs and their [already] manifested realities.

So believing in “the word” as creator of reality becomes easy once one sees connections between what they believe and what they experience. God is all around us, in us and in everything, constantly evolving, constantly become more. I love knowing that and relish life while standing in that knowing!

Joe replied few minutes later. I’ll get to what happened next.

How prayer works

A client and I talked about prayer recently. He’s a Christian, and prays often. I suggested a different perspective on prayer, one that could make prayer more effective.

Life works best like this, I told him: A person find things they want, often by observing things they don’t want. The moment they recognize what they want, what Christians call God holds that as a real, tangible experience, especially for that person.

That’s what happens when a person prays. They identify what they want and immediately get the answer (God holding the future reality for the person). But the praying part of “prayer” is only the beginning.

Next, God sends signals – thoughts, ideas, intuition to the one who has prayed. Follow those signals and the person MUST receive that for which they prayed.  God sends signals constantly for every prayer potentially leading the person to everything they want. All prayers are answered.

Like a pair of walkie talkies though, the person can’t receive God’s signals, and thus His answer to the prayer, if the person isn’t on His frequency. How do they know when they are?

They feel good, they’re positively focused, they see everything like God does: as good, as right, as always getting better.

So prayer isn’t about what one says with one’s mouth in solemn moments, I told my client. Prayer happens every life moment, with every interpretation, every story, every belief a person believes about everything happening around them moment by moment.

Tuning one’s interpretation so they receive God’s answer is what Jesus meant when he said become like a child, which means, seeing the world as a pure, positive adventure springing from one’s imagination.

God’s revelation

I saw this blog post I mentioned above as a positive element of my ongoing adventure. I enjoyed responding and receiving the Joe’s reply:

Thank you for your excellent comment! You’ve added so much more wisdom to the info I discussed. Your last paragraph sums it up beautifully. I believe the key is seeing and knowing those connections, though it’s easier said than done. However when done, it is life-changing 🙂

The next day, I ran an errand to IKEA. On my way, I thought about Joe’s post, my response, and his reply. I thought about how Joe keyed in on the key point: Seeing the connections between what one believes, and what one experiences…that’s how one finds God and His revelations: answers to one’s prayers.

Right about that time, I passed by a house with a beautiful painting nailed to a post in the front yard. The painting featured a huge yellow and black honey bee free-framed in a blue sky with white clouds. A short paragraph beside the bee, told in hand-painted letters  how important bees are.

Below that was a long, hand written message:

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This was exactly the connection I described in my comment. Here I was, in my physical reality, seeing my own beliefs reflected back to me. God’s answer to one of my many “prayers” – my strong belief.

Joy and recognition washed over me. The rest of my ride felt like floating. When I got to IKEA, a masked clerk greeted me at the door.

“How are you today?” She asked.

“I’m f*cking happy!” I exclaimed.

“Wow!” She said. “That’s AWESOME.”

I smiled so wide underneath my mask, my eyes twinkled.

“It sure is!” I said.

Evidence that God exists is so abundant, I wonder sometimes why humans invented this thing called faith. I don’t need faith because I know I’m God in Human form, laying out my desires in prayer then tuning myself so I get my answers in life experience. The tuning looks and feels like being Positively Focused. And being there, I find happiness.

The Great Pause IS Good

Beauty in nature will persist no matter how obscure human eyes become. Sometimes though, human eyes get clear. The Great Pause IS good. Can you see it? In the future humanity will look back at this time as a great opportunity. Why not see it that way now? Some people do, like those who took time to share their experiences and their memories.

I Put God To The Test. Here’s What Happened.

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Photo by Oscar Sutton on Unsplash

It’s fun putting God to the test and watching God exceed my test expectations. That’s what happened this morning on my walk.

I know I am God in a human body. Don’t freak out reading that. Everyone is God in human bodies.

Sometimes it’s nice testing my godhood. It’s fun, and it assures me my desires are flowing easily into my life experience. Evidence abounds in that regard, but, every so often creating an event immediately tells me, yup! I’m doing it, I’m creating my reality.

The challenge with creating reality and the reason so many try this “manifestation business” and fail, is because specificity and focus are important. People who fail at creation don’t realize their “failure” actually is success. Here’s why.

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Every human being is a God in human form, creating reality through their interaction with it. Conscious creation is more joyful…for obvious reasons. Putting God to the test is fun too. Especially when I delight myself by exceeding my expectations.

If I want something really bad, that’s great, so long as I’m focused on what it is I want. It’s easy, though, in my focus on what I want, to instead focus on the opposite of what I want, which is the absence of what I want, or what I already have.

For example, say I want a new relationship and I’m in a relationship I don’t like. If I focus on all the things I don’t like about the relationship I have, and focusing there, I ask for a new relationship, I’m not going to manifest a new relationship. Instead, I’m going to manifest more of what I have: the relationship I’ve got.

I know I must turn my focus to what I want, not what I’ve got. I know I’ve done that by using my emotions as my guide. I know I’m getting what I want when I feel great in the now, the Moment of Becoming.

The Universe will deliver the essence of everything I ask for. Testing this assertion helps calibrate my focus so I know when I’m focusing on what I want instead of what I don’t. It’s a fun way of refining that important skill.

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I know thinking thoughts that feel good makes getting what I want easy.

So that’s what I did this morning. I like testing God (that’s me) by using subjects I don’t have lots of desire about. It’s easier focusing when there isn’t a lot of momentum behind the desire itself. Here’s what I did:

I said I wanted to see a rabbit on my walk somewhere. I live in an urban neighborhood in Portland, Oregon. Houses and apartments and paved streets and alleys define my neighborhood. There aren’t a lot of wooded areas, so seeing a wild rabbit would be amazing. But I knew I can manifest anything I want if my desire is strong enough and, most importantly, my resistance to the desire is weak or non existent.

I focused on how it would feel seeing a rabbit. I held that image for a little over a minute, to get the creative momentum moving. In my imagination I saw the rabbit’s brown fur, its black eyes….I thought about petting the rabbit and how soft it would feel so long as it didn’t bite me 😂. That made me feel happy, a crucial indicator.

I’m clear All That Is delivers the essence of what ask. I know that often means delights beyond my specific ask. So it’s better asking generally rather than specifically because what comes can be missed if I’m too specific about what I want. So while I asked for a rabbit, what I focused on was the fur, the eyes and how it would feel to see something like that in my city.

Then I dropped it. I paid no attention to my request. I enjoyed my walk, the city, the morning air, the flowers and other people out walking.

It was a nearly four mile walk. Returning to the house where I live, I turned a corner one block from home and…not 20 feet in front of me….was a coyote. It looked at me with black eyes…and it had brown fur.

A Coyote a few steps right in front of me! In the middle of town!

Before I could snap a picture with my phone, it ran off around the corner, but as I got to the end of the block, it came running back around the corner. That’s when I got a video of her!

God passed! What a demonstration!

I know I am God in a physical body. I know I create reality through my interaction with it. My thoughts and emotions tell me what creations I’m creating. I share my experiences through this blog because the sharing is fun, but also to encourage others into their full creative potential so they can have as much fun as I’m having.

It really is fun creating reality. I love putting God to the test and then seeing how I exceed my own expectations.