toxic positivity - Positively Focused

April 17, 2023February 22, 2023

How Toxic Positivity Destroys Life’s Greatest Gifts

Question: Do people who believe in manifestation believe in toxic positivity?

Answer: I cannot speak for all “people”. But I can speak with accuracy for myself, for Abraham and for Seth.

Anything someone believes will eventually prove “true”. But only for that person. And for those who become a match to that belief.

“Toxic Positivity” is a belief. It emerged only recently. As Law of Attraction gained prominence in recent decades some react strongly to its ideas. “Toxic Positivity” represents a manifestation of the originator’s struggle with their Belief Constellation. This person’s pessimism runs so strongly, Law of Attraction’s success prompts this equally strong, knee-jerk response.

A person who lives pessimistically, for example, might conclude from that orientation that life’s glass is “half-empty”. They’ll see life as a struggle, risky, inherently random and out of their control. From their perspective life will not go their way. So they draw pessimistic conclusions about life.

A conclusion is a belief. Any belief, held long enough, will prove true. So this person’s life will prove their conclusions about life true.

Life always reflects belief

Life experience has influence on belief. But life experience BENDS to belief. It is expectation (belief) that gets “life” going. And expectation determines future experience. However, once life gets going, seeing how beliefs create experience grows murky. That’s because we focus more on the physical world. We focus comparatively less on our inner world. But again, our inner world originates the outer.

So then, a chronically negative person will attract more negative experiences because that’s how they focus. This includes more negative thoughts and beliefs. They also put more attention on the outside world. They don’t consider their inner world and do something about their negative beliefs. Instead they take them for granted as indelibly true. So life gives more experience consistent with their “truth”.

But truth can change. It changes constantly.

Chronic negative focus makes attracting more negative beliefs a cinch. Same with negative experiences. IT WILL ALSO MAKE IT VERY HARD TO ACCEPT DISSIMILAR THOUGHTS.

Momentum creates more

So then consider when someone tells such a person, they create their reality. That someone says “change your beliefs to more positive ones you can improve your life experience”. Of course the listener’s Belief Constellation, their dominant negative focus, will vigorously repel such a statement. That’s because the statement confronts existing belief momentum. Momentum that is extremely strong. Momentum with a lot of evidence proving it “true”.

All That Is is extremely complex and diverse. It also is very creative. So “Toxic Positivity” is a creative term springing from a small part of All That Is. That small part represents consciousness focused predominantly in a negative orientation. That orientation will not allow the consciousness, nor the intelligence it possesses, from even considering positive orientation. It will, instead strenuously resist….then create a new idea for its extreme revulsion. The new idea will expand negative focus and give birth to a new label. The label? TOXIC Positivity. Labeling the idea will then vastly amplify that consciousness’ attachment to that belief and that preson’s negative orientation in the process.

So yes, it is real.

But so is every other thought. Any thought held long enough will manifest corresponding reality. In short, it (Toxic Positivity), the concept, is a thing. It is a manifestation. A manifestation of chronic negative focus. A focus held so long it cannot bear to accept what’s at the heart of All That Is: Pure Positive Energy.

September 13, 2021July 23, 2021

How Perfect Manifestation Makes For Great Results

It’s fun watching how my desires fulfill themselves. Even desires I want at one time, but then expand out of. These too still become my reality, whether I want them or not. When this happens, it’s a great Positively Focused lesson. Through them I learn how to refine my manifesting practice. What happened recently offers a perfect example.

A couple years ago after my marriage ended in divorce, I needed a job. I manifested the perfect job immediately, with no effort, in perfect timing. That job set me up to never work a job again.

While working at that company though, I briefly aspired to management. At the time I saw pretty great potential in moving up the ranks, potentially rising quickly as that company grew.

But those thoughts came from old patterns and belief constellations. Beliefs most people hold about what “success” looks like. In that constellation, belief looks like “career success”, “corporate success”, rising through the ranks and a big salary.

That kind of success though tends to cost a lot. One’s life balance, freedom, passions and authentic self-expression usually get squelched in such opportunities. I should know. I enjoyed just such success at a major utility and a high tech company spanning over 20 years. Both careers took their toll.

I’m glad I’m past that.

Be careful what you ask for…you might get it

Still, while at that big company, I got caught up in old beliefs. Other beliefs in that constellation had me doubt what I now no longer doubt. Those other beliefs told me pursuing my passions was scary, hard and hardly anyone succeeded doing that.

So one day, while doing my job, I thought about how cool it would be to transition into management at this company. I created a future reality where the company invited me to apply for a position that opened doors to future operational leadership.

Then I forgot all about it. I didn’t “try” to “make it happen”. In fact until what happened next happened, I forgot all about that future reality.

That’s because during the ensuing short months at that company, several other desires fulfilled themselves. Those opened doors to where I am now, not working and instead pursuing my passions and allowing my Charmed Life.

Here’s what happened.

If it’s not a “hell yes!”

Yesterday I got an email. It came from a recruiter working at the company where I worked. The email offered me an operational leadership position. The position offered exactly what I wanted: open doors to greater leadership.

The email specifically said “this role is a stepping stone into operational leadership”! At first, the email sounded interesting. But the more I thought about it, the less intriguing the opportunity felt.

“Why?” You may ask. “You manifested exactly what you wanted!”

True, I wanted that…a few years ago. Now, life and my desires changed. The opportunity sounded interesting. But interesting isn’t enough. I know if an opportunity doesn’t feel like a “Hell Yes”, it’s a “Hell no!”, no matter how good it sounds.

The real opportunity…

Given where I am, I wrote the sender telling him I wasn’t interested for several reasons. Then I thought about this experience and saw the gold in it.

I thought about the mechanics of this manifestation, what I did, or more important, what I didn’t do, and how it unfolded. Here’s what I saw:

I created the desire our of my then, now
The desire felt exciting at the time and I had sincere interest in it.
Then, I totally forgot about it. I didn’t stew on it, I didn’t do any processes to amplify the desire or the fulfillment, I used no affirmations. I let it go.
This is important: Fulfillment took a while. During that time I felt no impatience about getting anywhere, which allowed me to relax and let things unfold.
As a result of all the above, the manifestation happened, with me not doing anything to “make it happen”.

This result typifies what I’d call perfect manifestation technique. No focus on “when” or “how”. No trying to make it happen. Total surrender and…fulfillment…with no effort on my part.

This manifestation also lets me know just because a manifestation fulfills itself doesn’t mean I need to step into it. Manifestations represent sign posts along my unfolding path to expansion, which has no end.

That means I face continual streams of unfolding desires, some I’ll embrace, others I’ll pass by.

Today far more interesting unfolding desires keep me excited about my now and the future. I enjoy watching all desires unfold though, whether I embrace them or not, knowing they all come with teachings which make me a better, deliberate creator.

May 24, 2021May 1, 2021

How To Create Reality Easily Matching Any Desire

The reason nearly everybody has such a hard time with life experience is they resist what they want. Instead of being Positively Focused about life, they focus on everything going wrong.

A client recently had an experience worth sharing. It not only shows how s tories create reality, it also shows why people don’t see connections between their thoughts and realities their thoughts create.

Not seeing those connections is why many folks live lives of compromise, of professionally unsatisfying, or lonely or anxiety-ridden, depressing lives. People feel powerless about doing something about such lives. When they do try, they fail.

You might think “my thoughts don’t create my reality”. If you don’t believe thoughts create reality, that thought, “my thoughts don’t create my reality.” creates a reality where it looks like your reality isn’t being created by your thoughts. 😳

That’s why it’s important knowing beliefs create reality. It’s also important knowing how to read the signs telling you what beliefs are creating what reality.

So let’s now turn to our client’s story.

A woman creates while not knowing she’s creating

Selene, who happens to be transgender, came to her session in good spirits. She had a good winter holiday, spent at home with family. The farm where she lives sits on cold, frozen farmland, but inside her home, good cheer, good food and family filled the space and warmed Selene’s heart.

That good cheer extended to her father, mother and sister, all of whom laughed and ate and celebrated. It was a good holiday, which marked a big change in her life. Usually holidays in Selene’s family are not fun.

A couple days before her session, a customer entered the Starbucks where Selene works, ordered a drink, then took off his mask. He started drinking his beverage in the store. That violated Starbucks’ COVID-19 policy.

Thoughts create reality wherever you are, even in a coffee shop. (Photo by Vaishnav Chogale on Unsplash)

Selene saw the customer and politely explained to him that, one, he couldn’t remove his mask while in the store and, two, he could not drink his beverage inside.

The man looked Selene up and down, then said “Are you trying to control what I’m doing sir?” in an intentional misgender.

Selene has enough positive story momentum though, so being misgendered didn’t phase her. Then she heard her assistant manager behind her say “Sir, Selene is a woman, not a man. You must leave now.”

As the unruly customer turned to go, Selene added “It’s also illegal to retaliate against workers when they enforce statewide COVID policy.”

Not seeing the connections…until they’re seen

In her session a couple days after this experience, Selene wondered aloud why she experienced this. She thought such an experience wouldn’t happen since she’s been telling positive stories, evidenced by such a good holiday with her family.

Why did this unruly man enter her life? Why did she have such a confrontation, she asked.

I remained silent.

A moment later, Selene started talking about something else, thinking she changed the subject. Little did she know, she was about to answer her own question.

Selene said she read an article on the internet. It described a new law now in effect in her area. It protects workers from retaliation when they enforce COVID-19 policies at work.

I looked at Selene silently. She got my look and smiled. It didn’t need saying, but I said it anyway:

After reading the article, Selene said, she liked the new law. She told me she thought about how cool it would be to have an experience where she could use it.

I looked at Selene silently. She got my look and smiled. It didn’t need saying, but I said it anyway:

“There is no mystery about this experience,” I said. “You were in your positive momentum of the holidays, feeling good, in joy with your family. Then you read this article and felt confidence in the new information. Feeling confident, you declared wanting to use that law. So you created an experience consistent with your declaration: an opportunity to use it.”

It’s obvious once seen

Life always shows how thoughts create reality. Most miss the connections, because they don’t believe that’s what’s happening. So when something happens now, they forget past nows wherein a thought was entertained that creates what’s happening now.

Once you know how to see the clues, they’re obvious.

Here’s the formula using Selene’s example:

Selene felt wonderful from previous nows with her family. Those previous nows were born of work she’s been doing through her sessions.
In her wonderful feeling, she attracted a news story specifically about her work as a customer-facing employee. It’s likely Selene had an unexpressed desire to feel more protected at work around COVID and her gender. Thus her life experience revealed this news to her.
In the revealing, Selene felt better about her work as a customer-facing Starbucks employee. That confidence took it a step further: it had her express a desire for an experience matching that confidence, which would bolster said confidence.
Then she dropped the whole idea. She thought about it no further. She didn’t share the article. She forgot it until she brought it up in our session.
In forgetting it and not sharing it, she allowed momentum of her story to grow without any competing stories interfering.
So, in only a few days, she got exactly the experience she wanted.

It always works this way…or it can

This is how beliefs always create reality. Knowing this, any reality imaginable can be created. The reason many people have a hard time getting anything they want, is because they resist what they want by focusing almost totally on what they don’t want.

They focus on sucky relationships they have or had. They focus on people on the other side of a political divide. They complain about things the government, their spouse, parents or children do. They complain about their boss or their job. The plain old complain. 😂

Such thoughts can’t create happy lives.

If instead people emphasized all the positive things in their lives, things they enjoy about their lives now, their parents now, their spouses now, their job, boss, and children now, their lives would gradually include more of those things.

Having anything is easy when you know how to do it and believe the how. But if you think thoughts aren’t creating reality, then it’s near impossible.

The easy way to have anything wanted: think thoughts that feel good.

February 9, 2021February 9, 2021

The Sweet Spot Feels Sweet And Creates Better Nows

It’s so fun being Positively Focused. I’m playing more, working less, enjoying more complaining less and the more I do this the better my life gets!

Just woke from a wonderful nap. It was a choice between that, going out for a walk in the cold, cloudless, sunny day, or making cookies. All good, fun things. Or I could have done worked on my projects.

I sat and felt how each felt, listening and feeling each idea for the best combination of alignment and pleasure.

The nap felt best. My dreams and how delightful I feel post-nap show me I made a great choice. My Broader Perspective loves it.

And so do I.

And I woke with plenty of time for my next client. With no alarm clock, or reminder chime waking me or anything!

And…LOL…I created this blog post effortlessly! So napping rendezvoused me with a perfect thing to write about, thus enabling me to work effortlessly! LOL. So fun!