This is an awesome story about how I created my way out of a job. That creative desire left me more convinced than ever that being Positively Focused leads to the best life possible.
This story comes in three parts. Part one shares the awesome story of my divorce. Part two describes what happened next. Part three shows how I have created a whole new reality, one in which I focus all my time and joy on doing things I love, instead of working a job with a boss, a paycheck and the 9 – 5.
Part one: the best divorce ever
I enjoyed being married because it forced me to focus on the only place unconditional love comes: from myself.
I married my wife even though she was looking to be with a woman and I was looking to be with a transgender woman. She said I was the answer to a spiritual process she completed in her church. Though we both knew what each other wanted, we married any way. To me we didn’t marry for love. It was for spiritual growth.
My wife and I met online. After some months, it was obvious something was there. A sense of togetherness existed, not really romance, but a deeper connection, one born of spiritual resonance. My wife had many problems born of her family of origin, problems I believe she came into reality to become more through. I saw these and wanted to do my part, to play my role in that process. That’s why I married her.
We passed through the first few months in heady fantasy. I ignored obvious signs of trouble, both coming from her and in myself. After the “honeymoon” things started getting real.
I won’t go into details
That would be too long. One day I lay in bed contemplating my next moves after a failed start-up investment. My wife came in the bedroom, looked at me and said “you know, you’re not attractive when you’re moping around like this. Maybe you should spend more time with Law of Attraction.”
At the time I showed interest in that, but a passing interest at best. I didn’t really believe it. This was over five years ago. Little did I know my wife’s prodding began the best time of my life (so far).
Not only did I heed my wife’s urgings I dove head-first into it. I read Law of Attraction books, but only books written by the person who coined the term. Then I started studying works from Seth and Jane Roberts. Later, I encountered Ayahuasca, the plant medicine originating from Peru and now known around the world as a powerful antidote to trauma and other psychological issues.
I didn’t have any of those, but wow, doors Mother Ayahuasca opened dazzled me. Then came a series of high profile experiences with Law of Attraction, which I’ll write about later.
Positively focused: the turning point
Many, many high profile experiences happened over ensuing years which, I think, caused my wife to feel jealous and resentful about what was happening. I don’t blame her, it was part of the process. But her resentment and my frustration widened the gap growing between her and I as I moved more towards my authenticity and she moved towards what she wanted. We both wanted different things, with different people. Our relationship gaped like the Mariana Trench.
Our non-existent sexual relationship dissatisfied her too. I ignored it along with her complaints. I credit our sexual incompatibility to my original search for a transgender partner, and her, I believe, still submerged desire to be with women. Sex not part of our routine, which she complained about more and more, mostly to her friends. Over time, they convinced her that staying in the relationship was a bad idea.
Things got worse and worse (or better and better) for us both. Following specific instruction from all my sources – Aya, Abraham, Seth, and my own personal trinity – I interacted with her less and less.
At one point, she invited me to an open marriage. I knew giving me permission tacitly gave her permission, which is what she really wanted. No biggie, I thought, it was a step in our marriage’s final countdown. As she found a semblance of sexual satisfaction from other men and I focused more on my Inner Being relationship, things came more and more to the wonderful outcome I didn’t expect, but at the same time felt loomed.
My marching orders 😂
Finally, she gave me an ultimatum. I had to move out of her home where we lived. I wasn’t surprised, but I also hadn’t prepared at all for it. I had a small amount of money and no stable income. I had no place to live and roughly three weeks to find one. I had no car and very little other possessions.
But I was happy.
More happy than I had been in a long time. Even facing divorce, with no real human friends and little else, I was happy and I had my Inner Being. I knew that’s all I needed.
By the time she gave her ultimatum, I knew anything was possible. I eagerly looked forward to that possibility. Leaving my wife, at her strong suggestion, launched me on the glorious Positively Focused path I find myself today.
The next stop: creating an income source.