Walking home this afternoon after collecting footage slated for an upcoming film, my own consciousness struck me. On the way home strolling through an old growth treed park, I realized…I’m free.
No job. No boss. No income I depend on. Instead, money comes through alignment. Soon, as my Inner Being alignment grows more consistent, and legacy resistance subsides, more money, more opportunity, more of everything will show up.
I know this as sure as I know the Earth spins consistently in her orbit.
Be, do, have. Hearing that the first time, I loved it. Learning about it, I thought “Gee, wouldn’t it be great were it true?” Now, evidence I produce tells me it is true. And so I know. I understand the meaning and function of “Be, Do Have”.
Be. Do. Have.
I think most think it’s “Do, Be, Have”. That’s the way I wrote it here first. That’s also the way I practiced it. I once did things someone who has what I want does. In time, goes the instruction, I would feel (be) the way that person feels. Then, eventually, the Universe would bring me those things I wanted, things that person has now.
I know now that can work. Problem is, most likely someone trying to “do” first, will struggle. In the struggle, they’ll entertain thoughts consistent with what they don’t want, not what they want.
For example, someone who wants to have a racing career might start out being a go cart racer. She might not be that good at first though. She might get negative feedback, then take that feedback to heart. She might believe it. Then she might think thoughts consistent with the feedback. “I’m not as good as I think.” Or, “I took that corner so badly.” Or, “I’m not as good as so-and-so.”
Such thoughts are self-perpetuating and reality-creating. Her driving behavior will increasingly reflect her beliefs. Her driving behavior is early-stage manifestation born of earlier-stage manifestation: her beliefs.
If “Do” comes first a pitfall accompanies it: If I haven’t first practiced thoughts consistent with what I want, then thoughts consistent with what I don’t want dominate, eventually creating realities consistent with them.
“Be” first means tuning into thoughts and cultivating beliefs consistent with what I want. I be first. Do comes naturally from that because when I tune to thoughts consistent with what I want, my Broader Perspective guides or suggests behavior to take and, when I act, since my thoughts and beliefs already point in the “right direction” (towards the reality I want), they don’t contradict my behavior. Instead they amplify it.
My behavior is keen too. More refined. I don’t focus on the result. Instead, I play (DO). I have fun. Results take care of themselves. Including results that look like films or experiences I want or sustainable money flows.
Being and doing
Next is have. But the having holds a secret: I first must soothe old beliefs I’ve cultivated which oppose what I want. If I believe my skin color makes me inferior in ANY way, which is a common socialization meme, then I feel “insecurity”; an emotion telling me that belief is bullshit.
But if I’ve believed that a long time, then that belief will stand between me and what I want to have. If my belief in what I want to have is strong enough (the DO), then that belief momentum can “break through” that resistance. That’s a bumpy way to create reality though. Very hard to sustain too.
I prefer soothing old beliefs by taking attention from them and putting it on thoughts I’m cultivating into beliefs, beliefs consistent with what I want. Putting my thoughts on what I want is what being is all about.
My primary job: being. My Broader Perspective handles everything else. I be and tune into it.Tuned in I receive its guidance. Only then do I DO. That doing, being more powerful by virtue of Be-momentum, lines me up with outcomes already existing in future probable realities. Those realities become my realities gradually.
Delighting in the process, time becomes irrelevant. Before I know it, I have what I want. Then the having expands.
And that’s the conscious awareness striking me as I write this. I want more than anything freedom as life experience. I have that. It’s significant because as I stand in “being free”, I know that’s the most powerful place. It’s consistent with where my Broader Perspective stands in nonphysical. THat means I’m in tune.
That means everything else I’m wanting is also flowing, just as freedom as life experience now is.
The other day I walked from the grocery back home on my way to a incredible manifestation I realized (I’ll share that later). On the way, I passed by an old car wash, long fallen into disrepair, with graffiti growing on it as much as brambles and weeds. A homeless person, grunting and grumbling under a tarp, shuffled among a sea of junk inside a wash bay converted into housing.
In that moment I received a thought. Remember, I was on my way to a fulfilling manifestation, a realization of something I delighted in receiving. “Delight” indicates a high-flying place consistent with my Broader Perspective, which means something really good this way comes. 😊
Ordinarily, in a lower vibrational place, dilapidated buildings look like eyesores, graffiti like societal mars. Overgrown weeds tell stories of decay and absentee slumlordism. Looking at this car wash I instead received a different and surprising interpretation: “this is what physical reality looks like as it turns from one manifestation into another.”
I stood there a moment appreciating that thought’s profundity. In that moment I witnessed All That Is turning from one thing – an old, abandoned car wash – into something more. The ordinarily imperceptible changing laid itself bare before my Plain Sight. In this crumbling, new emerges. What looks like decay, heralds something more.
Through that Plain Sight I saw protests these days, the societal handwringing underway and our political divisiveness differently. That car wash metaphorically showed me in its microcosm, that the greater societal churn that is my macrocosm, my society, must be the way it is before the new emerges from it. Just as that crumbled car wash property will some day become something new: an apartment building, grocery, or office complex or KFC.
Seth says manifestations turning to new manifestations create the apparent phenomena humans call time. Instantaneous and constant change from one thing to another in nonphysical, appears in slow motion when experienced from perception immersed in physical reality.
Human perception channeled through bodily organs and limited beliefs slow everything happening in nonphysical down so humans can enjoy the turning-into; but also because if things changed as fast as they do in nonphysical in physical reality, the rate of change would bewilder the beholder and humans couldn’t function, let alone make heads or tails of what’s going on.
My human perception creates time and space so I may enjoy my creations moment-by-moment instead of all at once. I know that using a Positively Focused perception, I discern physical reality’s secret: that everything is on Earth as it is in heaven – constant and delightful manifestations constantly manifesting more delight through even more manifestations, all happening in the midst of great unfolding.
This is what life experience becomes for the deliberate creator: an ongoing series of epiphanies on the way to more and better continuously fulfilling ones, which makes life worth living. A Charmed Life, in other words.
I love how life experience surrounds me with evidence of my clarity. This morning, I’m seeing “the web of life” exemplified through actual webs: spider webs.
Yesterday my landlord expressed shock at the spider population. One can’t walk three feet in a garden or a yard and not run into spider webs. They are everywhere; including indoors: my room, common spaces, and, of course, outside.
Today spiders don’t bug me. Their being proves life’s abundance. I’ve blogged before about seeing coyotes, rabbits, deer, snakes, opossum and raccoon. Not to mention insects, rats and, yes, spiders. Life proves life’s abundance.
Through focus on life abundance, I find it easier seeing material and financial abundance. When material and financial matters generate adventure and eagerness instead of worry and lack, then “material and financial abundance” no longer feels like new age pap. I start seeing it everywhere, then feel it too. Feeling abundance leads to experiencing abundance. I know everything starts with “being” and “feeling” is what “being” is all about.
Life sustains life
After sharing her spider tales, I told my landlord about my experience seeing a wasp one morning delicately snatch a spider straight from the center of its web. The wasp carried the spider to a leafy branch, a few feet away. There it stung the spider, then ate it.
The wasp did this twice more, leaving three perfectly spun webs devoid of their creators. I felt blessed seeing this web of life at work.
Looking at spider webs I used to think they were traps where life gets extinguished. Now I see them as webs of life, as spiders need to feed too and every spider potentially feeds wasps. Every death is a suicide, so I know those who ensnare themselves in spiders’ webs, do so on purpose.
These days, when I feel a web’s gentle touch on my arm, my face or bare leg while walking through a park, my yard, or through my room, I no longer feel shock and surprise. These days when I see a spider inside, I do my best to escort the little lover outdoors. They are living expressions of All That Is, as am I. They don’t deserve to live, they are life. I get their connection to me and me to them. It goes deeper than the feeling of their webs across my body or knowing through a long string of cooperation, I am as the spider and as the wasp. I know now all life, every kind no matter its size, contributes to the whole.
So when I see a spider indoors, or when I stumble into a web, I no longer kill the web-spinner…most of the time. Instead I marvel at how complete and effusive the web of life stretches; and appreciate my part in its interconnectedness.
“This stuff makes no sense,” A client said. “It totally illogical. How do you know this stuff works?”
This client’s frustrated outburst is part of the path. In only six weeks their relationship transformed, they’re feeling more comfortable in their skin, feeling happier and more excited about life. They’re now pursuing dreams of becoming a well-paid musician by taking practical steps in that direction. Their life: better, their mood: more positive, their experience of life experience: more fun.
Why did such a question come up despite all this evidence?
In a word: momentum.
For a while it’s a roller coaster
When clients first start working with Positively Focused, they get excited. They see evidence of their life getting better everywhere. The more they alter their stories and perspectives, the more evidence they see.
At some point though, old stories reassert themselves. These old stories are living things, like everything else. They enjoy life energy they get when a person focuses their way. When a person stops focusing on old stories, they sort of push back. They don’t want to lose attention they once got.
When they push back, clients feel the negative emotion that comes with that. Momentum ensues and, before you know it, they forget evidence they created that excited them just days ago.
This is normal. It’s also why it helps having someone who’s walked the path and knows what to expect. That’s where I come in.
How do I know all this stuff works?
I know this stuff works because it’s working in my life. I know it works because my desires are coming true all around me. I know this stuff works because I feel excited about this work, I feel excited about life, about living, about the evidence happening in my life, both in physical and nonphysical. I’m excited because life feels so freaking great…and that’s because of this work.
In their frustration, this client couldn’t understand how I have insight to All That Is and “nonphysical”. They couldn’t understand how I speak so confidently about how the Universe works, how it’s designed by us to deliver all we want, and that life is supposed to be a positive adventure. They couldn’t understand how I could know something “limited human consciousness can’t possibly know.”
I told him the reason they can’t understand it is because they’re not yet where I am. I told them human consciousness is only limited when the human believes their consciousness is limited. The reason why I speak with such confidence, I told them, is because I’ve changed my stories, and my reality broadened to include awareness of the nonphysical world.
I have a third degree black belt in nine different martial arts. It took me about five years to get to that level. I once trained others in these schools. When I did, I spoke with the same clarity and confidence about that material as I do about “stories create your reality and here’s how.”
In the martial arts field, what separates my opinion from an opinion of a white belt, someone who is just starting or someone who has now experience at all? Experience, practice, knowledge and wisdom that comes from five years of personal experience with the material, with guidance from a 15 degree blackbelt who’s been training in this material over 35 years.
The same is true with this work. While others focus their attention on perhaps finding love, raising families, building careers, wealth and material satisfaction, I’ve focused my attention on epistemology and ontology using empirical methods applied across a wide variety of “spiritual” fields. I’ve been doing this at least since I was six.
Walking the path makes me an expert
So I am clear. I speak with confidence and clarity in this field in the same way I do in martial arts: I know because I’ve walked this path so long, I just know it.
The cool thing is, anyone can do what I do. With diligence and focus, anyone can have a life they love filled with everything they want and then show others how to get that. Life is meant to be lived happily. Do that and you’ll have a happy life. The question is, how do you “do that”?
That’s what I know and what I show my clients.
By the end of our time together, this client was back in their usual happy space born from doing the work for 12 weeks. They thanked me as my clients usually do: by telling me they love me.
I understand who and what people are. I relate to them from there. When I do, they feel that. When they feel that, they can’t help but express love for me. I’m loving them after all.
Frustration: that’s part of the path at first. Because I know this, I don’t let doubts about my credibility shake my confidence. I do the work, which is why I know what I know. And that’s why I can help people create lives they love.
Yesterday while walking All That Is showed me how abundant abundance is. I posted a blog about it as abundant life literally surrounded me. This morning I woke to abundance too. I realized so many dream experiences, many I recalled later in the morning to great delight. Every dream experience I recalled felt ecstatic, rich in meaning, detail, clarity and engaged so much of me I felt, as I do many times when recalling dreams: joyful, happy, home.
Abundance surrounds me in so many forms, I can’t describe them all. Besides life abundance I noticed yesterday, there is air abundance. There’s so much air in my environment, I never thirst for it. There’s so much space in my environment, never do I feel physically constrained. Varietal abundance exists too: there are many things to see, many things to feel, many sounds to hear, many things to taste. All this sensory abundance forms basic life experience. So basic it is, I lived most my life oblivious to it.
Not any more.
Creative abundance surrounds me too. There are drawings to create, blogs to write, essays worth creating. There are advertisements to design, projects to orchestrate, strategies to create and execute. Not to mention all the great creative works of others to consume and enjoy. Abundance!
There are thoughts I draw to me in great abundance. More deliberate in my awareness of them, I see great diversity, great abundance, in thoughts I tune into, and, in that deliberate awareness, I experience great creative abundance in choosing to choose which thoughts I want to think. Yes, all abundance forms overlap, amplifying abundance surrounding me.
Time is abundant. The more I slow down, the more I get that every day, every hour, every moment, every second, is abundant in itself. So abundant, time sort of ceases to be when I focus on the now moments.
My own consciousness is abundant as is my mind and body. Both mind and body, when examined are not finite at all. Instead, they permeate themselves, each other, and the environment in which they exist. They amplify this environment through their existence too. All this forms the environment of my consciousness, for nothing exists outside my conscious awareness, for my conscious awareness is All That Is experienced by me from one unique perspective. That perspective itself is not limited, for it too is abundant, joined with infinite other consciousnesses forming a family of a stream of awareized energy that is God itself. Me myself.
So many in the new age world focus on material or financial abundance while overlooking abundance’s abundance. It is everywhere expressed as everything in everything. I literally live in a soup of abundance.
I know the more I stand in recognizing abundance in its infinite forms, my awareness also must include financial and material abundance too.
Because in my awareness of abundance everywhere else, I acknowlege What Is. And in that acknowledgment, I release thoughts running contrary to that, which create realities of apparent lack of abundance, which is impossible. Abundance IS.
So “lack” of abundance can’t be a distinguishing characteristic of reality. It must therefore be the denial of What Is. Which is why when I stand in lack of any kind, I don’t feel the ecstasy of All That Is, of all that I am. Instead, I feel limited, insecure and ultimately powerless.
Which is why feeling, experiencing and seeing abundance’s abundance is so fucking joyful! It’s supposed to be that way so I reach for that more often. In doing so, I create more of that to see, which means my life gets better and better and better! In every way.
This story is hilarious. I almost wrote “unflattering”, but you’ll see at the end that this story flatters me in the sense that I saw how this infuriating situation was also a massive blessing.
Summer’s sun, blue skies and Oregon’s hot breezy air called me out again last weekend. I love working outside along the Willamette River shores. I enjoy Ospreys above and salmon jumping skyward likely avoiding sea lions and their chisel like teeth.
I decided I wanted more of that, so I packed my bike. I packed light, my portable chair, my iPad and nothing more. I planned to finish reading Ross Douthat’s The Decadent Society, its insightful take on current reality had my attention for weeks now. I anticipated exploring Douthat’s take while enjoying the Oregon summer.
That’s not what happened though
Oregon’s governor recently eased lockdown mandates. With her decree, all of Oregon made similar plans. I expected a few people riverside, but wasn’t prepared for crowds that showed up.
A forty minute bike ride turned into an hour while I tried finding suitable, solitary rest stop. I finally decided on a rocky shore devoid of human for lack of any sand. But I had my chair. I didn’t need sand.
I parked my bike, set up my chair then settled into Douthat’s narrative. Thirty minutes later, a couple with two dogs showed up. The young, tattooed Portlanders led their dogs to the water’s edge, unleashed them and threw tennis balls into the river. The larger of the two dogs, a pit-bull, leapt into the water while its smaller puppy companion barked in envy. Then the puppy eased into the water, found it agreeable and went for a swim. I smiled then turned back to Douthat.
Minutes later, the puppy was licking at my bare legs. I’m not a dog person, but I can appreciate a cute pooch. On this day though, I just wanted to read in quiet on a beautiful day. It annoyed me that this dog suddenly was licking my leg. But what annoyed me more was the fact that its owner hadn’t done his legal duty of keeping his dog under control.
I lifted my legs away from the pooch, clearly annoyed, which the owner saw. He came bounding to my rescue, scooped up his dog with an apology and returned to his spot. There, he put it on a leash. His partner too re-leashed the Pit-bull.
All that was nice. But it was too late.
I got hooked in frustration-momentum
Momentum is a powerful thing. Especially negative momentum born of oft-told stories. I’ve harbored negative stories about dog owners who don’t keep their dogs leashed and therefore under control as leash laws mandate. So much so it’s one of my “pet peeves” (oh god! no pun intended!).
Recently when I read about a “Karen” from Central Park Manhattan who made a racist false police report against a fellow New Yorker who politely asked her to leash her dog in an area where a leash law was in force. The fellow New Yorker, a board member of the New York City Audubon Society who happens to be African American, recorded the whole incident. The recording went viral and popular outrage caused the woman to lose her job and her dog. Reportedly, New York is considering banning her permanently from Central Park and the District Attorney is considering pressing charges against her for making a false police report.
This story came to mind as that puppy slimed me. When its owner grabbed it and apologized, I mused whether he also thought about that Central Park incident.
The problem was, I didn’t shake the association, which would have been in my best interest. Comparing my experience to what happened to the Audubon Board Member wasn’t really fair. But old stories about my pet peeve combined with that viral Central Park experience in my head creating momentum that swept me up.
For the next half hour I couldn’t focus on my reading. My mind swirled around the association, my indignation, my annoyance and frustration….
What happened next was no surprise
The couple decided to pack up and leave, having I suppose, had enough time at the water’s edge. As they walked to the bike path, I heard the woman say to someone I couldn’t see “Sir, would you mind leashing your dog?”
The irony didn’t escape me. “Cosmic Justice” I thought. Little did I know said justice was just getting started…
I couldn’t hear the what the person she addressed said, but I heard what she was saying. I also got the annoyance in her tone:
“Why aren’t you willing to put your dog on a leash sir?” She asked. I turned, hoping to see who she addressed. I couldn’t see that person. She continued.
“My dog isn’t friendly,” she said. The person said something I didn’t hear.
“How many years have you been around my dog sir?” She replied. “I’m telling you my dog is not friendly.”
Apparently whoever she addressed had done nothing, so she reached down, picked up what looked like a 40 pound pit-bull and scrambled over rocks the rest of the way to the bike path with her male companion in tow.
I was thinking about karmic kickback, wondering how the couple felt now since they themselves hadn’t controlled their (little) dog. Which is why I hadn’t noticed that not seconds later another dog was sniffing at my leg!
It’s my turn…
I turned in surprise, saw the Husky, then darted around looking for the owner. Presumably this was the same person the young woman spoke with earlier. Finally I saw him sitting in a chair he set up behind me on the bike path’s edge.
My indignance increased. “Really?” I thought. “Twice in a row?” What did I expect? I create my reality. Here was the Universe serving me a big pile of pet peeve….a second helping if you will, this time via a Husky and yet another irresponsible owner.
But wait…it gets worse. Or rather, I got worse.
I should have known trying to get the owner to do anything about his scofflaw dog would be futile. After all I saw that play out just seconds ago. Never the less:
“Sir, would you please come get your dog!” I said with force ten annoyance.
The owner looked down at me, at his dog and said “he’s alright.”
“I’m not!” I said.
The owner said nothing.
At that, I’d had it!
Now I was fully in rage. That’s right, I was so angry, I was shaking. I wanted to strangle that damn dog and murder the owner. But I also knew it wasn’t the dog’s fault. So I directed all my rage (in my mind) at the owner. I wanted to first strangle him, then murder him!
I should mention I had the presence of mind at this moment to see the ironic humor here. A part of me knew what I was doing was ridiculous. It’s just a dog. But the principle folks, and the momentum of my pet peeve had me firm in its grip.
Clearly this guy wasn’t going to do anything about his dog. There was no way I could recover my state of calm at this point, not to mention focusing on Douthat’s prose. I decided then to gather my things and head home in a huff, which took all but a couple minutes.
But I couldn’t let it end that way. Noooo.
As I pushed my bike up to the bike trail, I made my “offender” clearly: white male in his 40s, beer in hand, listening to a transistor radio, minding his own business and cool as a 🥒. Perfect contrast to my seething rage, which at this point, boiled over and out my mouth:
“YOU’RE EXACTLY THE KIND OF PERSON WHO GIVES DOG OWNERS A BAD NAME!” I yelled in his general direction. I hopped on my bike and peeled away on the momentum of my righteous indignation. 😂🤣😊
That wasn’t the end of it.
A half-mile into my return trip, it struck me. What happened here? Why am I letting this situation shape how I feel? How I feel is more important than how I’m treated. In fact, I know by choosing how I interpret what happens in my life, I can create reality. Here I was doing what a noob at all this “you create your reality” business would do…
At this point, I should stop and say I know sometimes I’m going to get pissed. It’s just part of what happens when an eternal being comes into physical reality.
Thinking an enlightened person doesn’t get mad sometimes indicates misunderstanding about how physical reality works. Physical reality intentionally offers variety: things I want and things I don’t want. After all, how am I to know what I want if I don’t know what I don’t want?
How am I to know what thoughts feel better than others, if I don’t have a negative experience every now and then?
That’s what I thought one half mile into my return ride. And that’s when I decided I had the power here. I had choice.
So instead of continuing to seethe, I decided to put my attention on something else. Something more pleasing. So I noticed the blue sky. I noticed the green trees. I noticed how much I like riding my bike, how good the sun felt on my bare legs and arms, how good it feels on a Oregon summer day. In seconds I felt better. My feelings reminded me how wonderful it is working from Oregon’s riversides:
That’s when something amazing happened
The more I thought these thoughts, the better I felt. Then…
Ever had an experience where something happens, you react in a less than ideal way, then, later, you get a thought, an idea, an alternative way you could have responded that might have been more effective?
Well that’s what happened. In my increasing happiness I received an alternative scenario that played out in my mind. Rather than throwing a tantrum at the guy, I saw my self calmly rise, gather my things and my chair, walk up to the guy and set up my chair right next to him. So close our chairs touched side by side. Then I sat down, looked at him and began politely talking his ear off.
That’s when I burst out laughing, a belly laugh so strong it obliterated my anger. I let this alternative reality play through my mind, adding humorous bits here and there – I saw him looking at me surprised, then trying to ignore me, then suddenly packing up his things and stomping off, dog in tow off leash. I imagined him and I actually having a friendly conversation, chatting away like best friends. I imagined him and I sitting there, me chatting away and he trying to ignore my chatting tsunami in quiet annoyance…
And you know what happened next? The entire situation changed for me. No longer did I see him as the idiot epitome of bad dog ownership. Instead he became a shining example of what I could be.
This guy was doing his own thing, oblivious to what others thought and said about him
This guy was in his own reality, enjoying his life with his dog. So was the dog!
This guy had presence of mind, a centeredness so powerful, he appeared unphased by not only one, but two verbal aggressors trying to knock him off his rocker
As much as I want to vilify him, he demonstrated to me vibrational mastery. And at that point he went from villain to teacher.
I want to be like that. I want to be calm in the face of storms.
And, in fact I am, nearly all the time.
Which is another thing he taught me: that I am that nearly all the time. When I’m not, there’s always something great in the experience I learn about myself and about my Positively Focused practice.
Prospective clients sometimes ask about what client sessions are like. Some wonder what I do with clients. Let’s take that last question first.
I provide context where clients get clear about who and what they are. In that clarity, they find what I found in my own clarity: That they create their life experience ongoingly.
When they find that, life takes a turn. It becomes fulfilling, fun, fantasical seeming, although it’s not fantastical, it’s just how life works when Positively Focused.
Gradually clients enter their creative powers while learning, or re-learning how their creative powers work. They find happiness, freedom and joy.
I show clients their power and how to get it through a mystical experience that feels like a conversation.
Now the first question:
What are client sessions like?
Client sessions are conversations where I share insights about what my clients talk about. The insights open greater awareness, both for clients and for me. Since I give clients access to me through text and email as well as our in-person sessions, I can share an example of how a session sounds.
The following is an email from a client who lives with his wife. Married many years, Clifton (not his real name) now wants out. He wants out because he finds his situation, including his wife Margo (not her real name either), intolerable.
Behind Clifton’s perceptions are belief constellations creating his intolerable situations, including Margo. Clifton is on his eighth session. Already he’s seen seemingly extraordinary shifts in his wife. Only they are not extraordinary.
By learning how to create his reality on purpose, Clifton has created a new-to-him version of Margo and a new-to-him version of their marriage. Clifton wants his freedom. But he knows he can’t have that until he makes peace with his current reality.
Being Positively Focused does that. It also makes his experience of his changing reality more fun, as you’ll read from this email exchange. Clifton gave me permission to share this exchange provided I remove identifying details. The bolded sections are Clifton’s comments, with mine following.
It’s the dreading one feels liberated from
So, I paid my income taxes today. Almost $4500. I had been dreading it and still haven’t filled out a return (though now I have REAL motivation to do so, ha ha), and was thinking , “Send them a crumb” — which is how I’ve done it for years. Throw the wolves a bone now and again and they’ll back off for a while (until they get hungry again). This year, practically at the last minute, I threw them the whole carcass.
It was liberating. I realize that I’ve always felt “liberated” (at least temporarily) whenever I am able to pay these creditors off at the calends (first of the month), and then I don’t have to worry about it anymore. Gives one a feeling of power.
It’s interesting, isn’t it, how something “dreaded” once done turns “dread” into “liberation”. Remember what emotions are about. Then ask yourself: what is it I feel liberation from? Is it really the taxes? Or is it the “dreadful” feeling, which indicates something important, and when freed from that you connect with something that feels comparatively liberating and powerful? Interesting thing to consider.
I have $50,000 tied up, but currently collecting nine percent annual interest compounded, some gold coins and another $10,000 currently tied up in the van (I cleaned it up and put a “For Sale” sign on it, but have yet to put an ad on Craigslist)
Most of the day was spent in that “Joy/Freedom” space. I had a good piano lesson with Sergi (graduate of a music academy in the old Soviet Union – can’t recall which, but it was a prestigious one). Earlier that day, I had been looking at a very wide screen monitor, 2nd hand at a local computer store. The store owner called me and informed be the price was almost $400 – more than I cared to pay, and I politely told him so and thanked him for getting in touch. I could have, of course – but I feel I should be spending those dollars on other things. Anyway, sure enough, I had a “hunch” on the way home and stopped at Goodwill. Found a working 48-in. TV that will double very nicely as an entertainment screen and a computer monitor. Price – $50. I liked that a whole lot better than $400. And it’s bigger. Yes, the stand’s a bit wobbly (probably why it was given away), but I imagine that’s just a matter of tightening a screw or two.
Nice job following the hunch. Life is an adventure, or can be, when one connects with All That Is and allows it to lead one to all one wants. It also becomes treasure hunt-ish. Who knows what lies around the next bend or building? And, the best footing from which to play the adventure is in “Joy/Freedom”. Absolutely.
Everyone seeks internal connection on their way…
Also feels good to me to reuse and/or repurpose something. That includes composting. I am not a fan of gardening (one source of conflict between Margo and I), but at least composting is a good way to make use of food that has “gone off” and would otherwise be wasted.
See the differing interests between you and Margo as wonderful sources of both joy and variety. Joy in that what you love you love and what she loves she loves…and you both get the same thing from both your loves: connection with your Broader Perspective.
Variety in that, in the relief of your partner’s passion, you, rather than being turned off by that, can turn instead (turn the other cheek) to YOUR passion and feel exactly what she feels when she’s tending to her plants: connection, flow, fun, exuberance.
Then, perhaps, you can feel appreciation – not conflict – when you turn back to what she enjoys, knowing she’s getting from her passion the same thing you get from yours and so your passion and hers are not all that dissimilar.
Not that it matters, or maybe it does – but I was in the market for a large monitor because as a composer, I often work with very large scores – and it is tremendously helpful to see as much of it as possible. Not practical on small monitors.
That you are “in the market” matters. You’re on your way…you’ve been on your way, but also have been resisting the “way”…to your dreams. The monitor is a manifestation – a sign post – indicating your waywardness. I use that word not in it’s traditional definition, which is negative, but in a new way, indicating “toward your way”. The way you connected with that TV indicates your “compliance” with your Broader Perspective.
And just as you were compliant [in such a way you realized previous, important manifestations] and now this manifestation, there will be many more instances of delight on your way….which is why life never creates wham-bang manifestations that happen in an instant like magic. Instant manifestation happens in nonphysical. But in the world of manifested things, All is set up so you can enjoy and savor the JOURNEY towards the destination. Each moment is a realization. The more you come into this conversation, the clearer your awareness and the more you’ll see this statement’s accuracy.
Most don’t see manifestation evidence because they don’t know what it looks like
This week, I also had the impulse to add something to an unrelated tweet [on Twitter]. Some actor had put himself out there, advising any directors or producers of his availability and experience. I retweeted and added that if anyone was looking for a great film composer, please consider me – and added links to samples of my work on YouTube. A couple of people retweeted it…usually, I don’t hold out much hope for these sort of things, but one never knows…trying to stay open to the possibilities.
This is a great example of your mixed energies. You don’t hold out much hope, but at the same time you “never know”. So you took action based on hope/who knows…and you saw a tiny manifestation of desire (that someone retweeted the tweet) outweighing your disbelief [expressed as “don’t hold out much hope”. Most miss these instances of evidence. Now you know it’s more evidence of you on your way. Nice.
Like the double recliner I bought for what I plan to be my “apartment/suite.” I sleep best in a recliner, which are typically for one — but when I saw it, I started thinking, “Hmmm…what if I get lucky?” Wouldn’t want to live with someone in that space (it’s pretty small), but it could be a nice place to entertain… 😆
Enjoy this unfolding process right up until you wake one morning with someone beside you and you get how you manifested them as you manifested the recliner! Objects, people, circumstances…the entire Universe: at your command.
Margo and I have been getting on better, I think. Monday evening, she apologized for being short with me earlier, but she had been feeling poorly (infected insect bites) and just wanted to do the Garbot thing (“I vant to be alone!”) I told her I felt her pain and understood completely – but in the future, please just come out and say that. I’ll respect it. (Actually, I’m glad to, ha ha)
I’m sure you would be happy to respect it. Isn’t it nice to see the movement forward with her? And didn’t it confirm our conversation about her that whenever someone appears upset with you, it’s never about you? It’s about THEM. ALWAYS.
Their connection (or rather their LACK of connection) to their Inner Being…that’s always the source of negative emotion. So next time you can know…and accept…and then run for the hills, when she indicates disconnection through ornery emotional expression!
Her infection and current state of well-being is also why I am yet again postponing telling her we need to get a divorce. Yes, because I think we have grown in different directions and neither of us are happy in the relationship the way we should be. Officially however, it is for financial reasons.
I have consulted with lawyers and financial advisers, and they basically say the same thing – I will be better able to provide for her if she is not my legal spouse. There is nothing illegal about it, couples often do it because one needs disability payments and it is impossible for one spouse to totally support the disabled one. Also true if they continue to cohabit. I knew someone who continued to live with his ex. And of course, we haven’t shared a room for years – and soon, I’ll have a whole space, complete with kitchen and bath, to myself. I have put this off for way too long. And I need to do it like, yesterday. But she’s feeling bad right now, and she’s not terribly stable in general. I am afraid for her.
“Fear” is an emotion. Fear for another indicates you, looking at another and seeing that person differently from how your Broader Perspective sees that same person. Yes, there are aspects of reality you think confirm the “truth” of what you think might happen if she were on her own. And, your strong fear indicates you creating a reality in which you get to witness her being exactly as you are creating her.
And…there’s another version of her you could draw to you and so experience. The same way you’ve done with her and her disconnection caused from insect bites. You are allowing more of the person you know her to be to shine through. But for now, it’s prudent to proceed on this path. It is, for both of you, the path with the least angst. Always a good idea: following that path.
Everything you want is right on your path
Eventually, I really don’t want to be living under the same roof with her – but for now, I have been attempting to rebuild some kind of relationship so she knows she’s cared about and won’t have to worry about her basic needs and won’t be abandoned to fend for herself (at this point, it would be like abandoning a child).
Anyway – this is how I must present it. As a strictly financial decision. Nothing else changes. We continue going on as we have, living in the same house (which will continue to be community property). She remains my sole heir and beneficiary. She’ll be able to get disability payments and EBT and remain eligible for Medicaid.
The difference is, I’m a free man. Period. What I will do with that freedom or how it will play out, I have no idea, but I’m staying open. She’ll be free as well. Gods know, I’ve tried to encourage her in her writing, and mostly the way she relates to animals. If there was an office of Ambassador to the Animal World (or at least carnivores, bovines and equines), Margo would do the job better than anyone else I know.
All this is good stuff. Mahayana Buddhists would say you’re being her Bodhisattva in creating such a caring landscape for her. It is good as I know you feel good taking this path.
Encourage her in thought, but don’t voice them. Let her and her Inner Being come to the realization wherein she puts her passions into practice and from that she creates a whole new world where money comes into her life easily and swiftly.
Sometimes, I think she’d be happier with her brother, running his huge ranch cabin as a B&B, taking care of the horses and the sheep and the dogs and cats. It’s what she spends most of her time and energy on anyway (and she complains about it, but I usually tease her, “You know you love it!”) So that’s where things stand…I’ve asked that “Broader Perspective” of mine to let me know when the right moment to announce the divorce is. About all I can do at this point.
Yes. As with the saw, as with the TV, as with everything you want, this is the best path. Do so and watch how easy the conversation goes. The more experiences like these you have, the more convinced you’ll become that this is the only way you want to live: surprised and delighted. Which is how you knew your experience would be when you first decided to come into physical reality.
It’s natural. Everything becomes more — plants, species, systems, knowledge, cities, families — everything strives towards more, especially human desire.
Knowing that, I praise human greed, judgement and selfishness because those mechanisms mirror universal mechanics: All That Is is greedy and selfish and lovingly judging — choosing — loving itself so deep it craves to know more about itself. That orientation, towards itself, wanting joyfully, freely, to know, propels all else.
What better way then to know itself than to make more of itself, and have each microcosmic representation of itself also want more too! In loving desire to know, to feel, and eventually realize each self as the whole, as it is, itself? Not a “part” of the whole, but the entire “whole” itself?
I know the more my awareness includes recognizing my magnificent blessedness, my invincibility, the more of that flows into my awareness. Awareness is all there is. Outside of it nothing exists. So blessedness is what it feels like as my awareness expands, revealing more of what is, which springs forth from my selfish desire to know more, which propels greater awareness and therefore more to know. And what better avenue to know the more that is there to know, than an insatiable flow of desires, each desire birthing by virtue of its existence, it’s fulfillment?
This is why I know everything I want, as I judge them, then choose them, standing in selfish, loving, desire for what I’ve chosen, must become realized by me. For I want it and so it is not only good, it is done.
That’s the magnificent blessedness. That expands exponentially. The more I focus my desire on desiring more of it, the more of it I real-ize.
Sharing this entry from my journal as it may benefit others.
^^Bent knees discover great shots.
I’m on a walk. I was listening to a podcast when dreams I had this morning again flowed into my awareness as they do in sleep state, only I’m awake and walking.
^^the path along my walk
My brain is not a filing cabinet. It does not house “memories” in tidy, organized compartments within and among its folds. Rather, it is a frequency transmitter/receiver (as are other organs) sending and receiving signals controlled and emitted by nonphysical sense organs. Sense organs correspond to physical senses. Everyone uses these chaotically in dreams. Most are unaware of them during wake state.
These nonphysical senses are imperceptible when I focus exclusively on physical existence, yet I can deliberately, more and more control these in sleep state and wake state as I practice being Positively Focused. All this I know, not theoretically, but empirically.
As an emerging master
I know then these delicious, ecstatic and lucid images and sounds and feelings, returning to my awareness while waking and walking, mean that on my walk I tapped into frequencies matching dream state frequencies.
Their arrival also means my Positively Focused practice pays off: I dream even while walking, meaning, my awareness simultaneously perceives in wake state and dreamscape. No small feat indeed.
The first images returning feature a tumultuous sea restrained and yet cooperating with a sea wall. As I focus here, now on these images, by virtue of my practice, many other dream scenes now flow/return to my awareness. Waves of magnificent and infinite amplitude and power crash against these walls. Yet, despite the appearance of conflicting purposes — the sea’s desire to vanquish and thus overflow the wall, the wall’s desire to hold back the sea — the feeling tone of their combined energies is harmony of purpose, joyful energy sharing and mutual acknowledgement of one another’s role in the collective representation of that which my Inner Being is using to communicate with me, the wake state version of my Inner Being awareness.
That’s worth reading a second time. 😌
But wait…there’s more…
Recognizing this, waves of appreciation and joy sweep over me…not unlike these dream waves…overcoming resistance that once was my total exclusive focus in physical reality. For there once was a time when I didn’t know for certain, as I do now, nonphysical’s existence, nor was I, back then, aware I dreamt.
With that certainty now flows what’s known as “the secrets of the Universe”, known as that only because so few take time to find them.
Through these secrets I draw to me dream interpretation clarity:
The tumultuous sea represents massive changes underway in the broader context.
The massiveness of the waves and their power represent the intensity of my focus and my intention that Great Good result from all this (which is what’s happening).
The wall represents humanity’s resistance to the change.
The cooperative nature of both represent cocreation of a future bringing tectonic shifts in some humans, and my own awareness, which must equal identical shifts in my reality and collective reality.
Indeed, my perspective in this dream is not that of standing on the sea wall, nor on the tumultuous sea. Rather it is above both. A “God’s eye” view. That positioning too coordinates and cooperates with both wall and sea, meaning, I am both and more.
^^Trees and grass, roots and soil
Writing that sends shivers down my spine right now, indicating at the same time the accuracy of my interpretation and my Inner Being’s exaltation in my extraordinary clarity.
Oh how I stand in the now, focused on trees and grass, roots and soil, leaves and sky, eager and joyful knowing, not by faith, but by the clarity of my life experience, that everything is working out, that I am blessed, as all are, and that I am the center of the Universe, God in human form.
^^…leaves and sky…
And that is why I encourage and practice being positively deranged through a Positively Focused practice. It feels so good. And feeling good brings delight, insight as well as real life experiences matching that.
I give myself slack when experiencing something I don’t prefer, knowing it will pass eventually. That includes thoughts and beliefs I prefer giving up, thoughts and beliefs inconsistent with the reality I want to create.
Everything gets better, even thoughts and beliefs, when I give myself slack. Giving myself slack I see that getting better happening.
How do I give myself slack? I find the positive in everything. I pick things to look at and think about that feel good. By doing that frequently, I head off negative experiences or beliefs before they can throw off my focus. That’s how I keep from having negative thoughts or experiencing negative experiences: I choose positivity frequently.
Sometimes I miss. Sometimes negative interpretation slips by me or is so strong it overwhelms. In the midst of negativity I’ll realize I’m telling negative stories about what I’m experiencing. That’s the only reason for negative emotion. Realizing this I decide to chill and let is pass rather than try to force myself to be positive again. Awareness alone sufficiently changes the present. Even though sometimes, it looks like nothing changes, it is changing.
That’s why every negative situation or negative belief isn’t negative at all: without them I wouldn’t know what positive situations or positive beliefs are. What’s more, when I experience negative situations or entertain negative thoughts, they remind me to regain my positive focus.
So negative experiences are actually positive in the end because without them, I couldn’t know what being positive feels like, and I couldn’t choose a positive focus when I’m not choosing that.
Negative experiences are positive because they help reinforce my Positively Focused practice. And the stronger and more consistent that gets, the more I perceive the world as God does, as my Broader Perspective does: perfectly unfolding. And when that happens, my personal life must match that, meaning, it gradually, yet increasingly, includes fulfilled desires, i.e., more things that I want, and fewer things I don’t. 👍🏾