Yesterday, while preparing for a walk, I thought about my fleece gloves. I have a lot of gloves, hats, scarves…I like bundling up when nature cools its jets come autumn time.
What I thought while pulling on still-damp, waterproof gloves I wore in the rain the day before was “The weather’s cooling, my fleece gloves would be perfect for a day like today.”
I had no idea where they were though. I knew they weren’t in the basket in which I keep my gloves. I reorganized my basket last month and didn’t see them.
The basket where I keep my winter bundling things.
After my walk I helped my landlord remove cushioning from under my bedroom’s jute floor covering. Removing the cushioning required lifting the bed and its under-bed slider drawer.
I carried the drawer to the living room by maneuvering around April, the landlord’s dog, who found her perfect seating spot…in the way.
Avoiding April required shifting the drawer in my hands so I could pass through the doorway and keep my eye on her. As I shifted, my fleece gloves spilled out. Fulfilled desire!
I know little manifestations indicate larger ones on the way
Creation happens easily and fast so long as I create the right way and do it resistance-free. Whether it’s a little manifestation, like discovering my gloves, or a big one, such as manifesting financial abundance, creation needn’t take a long time. But it does when my ask includes resistance or if I ask sloppily.
Thoughts like “I’ve lost my gloves”, or “I want my fleece gloves…but I don’t know where they are,” or “Where are my gloves?” say “I want to have an experience where I can’t find my gloves.” That’s sloppy asking.
Asking such questions creates lost-glove realities.
This happened with my house key recently. It’s funny because my Inner Being perceived a probable reality near me featuring my “lost” key. So it told me after my walk one day: “put your key back where you always put it”.
I’m practicing immediately following my impulses. This time I didn’t do that tho.
Days later, I needed my key. I looked in its usual spot: nothing. “Where is my key?” That was my knee-jerk reaction, but it also instantly created its “real” counterpart.
I felt my Inner Being urge more deliberate thoughts, but too late: the probable future reality arrived, featuring my absent key.
I looked high and low. I checked every pants pocket, including the pants I wore the other day. I looked in the dirty clothes hamper, under the couch, in my drawers…I tried remembering when I had it last. Still…no key.
My next thought: “I can’t find my key!” clinched the creation. My key was lost. More accurate: I created a reality consistent with my persistent thoughts.
Funny thing is, I felt that momentum build, I “saw” the belief “I can’t find my key” in my Moment of Becoming drawing circumstances consistent with it. I even remembered my Inner Being telling me to put my key were I usually do.
It was trippy seeing that creation creating itself right out of my thoughts. I lost my house key because I declared it so. My landlord made a replacement.
Notice the difference in thinking
“The weather’s cooling, my fleece gloves would be perfect for a day like today” carries different energies than “Where is my key?”
The first feels like an affirmation. It leads to an outcome, a reality, wherein I wear my gloves. The question leads to an outcome where I’m looking for my key.
In less than 24 hours I had my gloves without trying to find them. In other words, with no effort. I still don’t have my (original) key.
My fleece gloves manifested in response to my gentle asking.
Creation feels both ways. Both illustrate how it works. The glove example and the key example show how effortless it is. So effortless, if feels like I’m not doing it. But I am!
Losing my key, in the context of receiving my gloves, offered fantastic lessons in fine-tuned, deliberate creation. I enjoy creating deliberately. I don’t like creating sloppily.
This is why I say there are no negative experiences in living a Charmed Life. Living Positively Focused, I see life through the eyes and mind of God. From there, all experiences are positive because they all create greater awareness.
I believe thinking and speaking in this subtle, refined way creates outstanding opportunity. It allows everything into my life through easy, flowing rhythms, it creates favorable circumstances where little things and big things both find their way to me.
I want more experiences like this, where I get what I want easily, not through effort, but because I speak it that way.
The more I complain about the Present Moment while trying to change it, the more I energize what is, thereby keeping it in place. I give it more sticking power.
The same is true with trying to make something—presumably new and better than what is—happen. The harder I try, the more I energize the absence of the change I want to see. “The absence of the change I want to see” is the Present Moment, the “what is now” which doesn’t include what I want.
So the harder I try, the more the Present Moment recreates itself in my next now, and the next, and the next.
So profound is this secret, it is core to all master-level pursuits:
Auto racing: Indy car drivers are taught that if their car is out of control and they’re careening toward a wall, they should look in the direction they want to go, not the direction they’re going. From an edmunds.com article on advanced driving [Bracket statements added for clarity]:
“Avoiding accidents: Racing drivers know that if a car spins out in front of them [what is], it’s best to keep looking at where you want to go [what one wants], not at the car in front of you or even in the direction in which the car is already going [that’s momentum]. When you look in the right direction [look at what you want], the car goes in the right direction, a reminder of the way in which vision [desire] and car control [manifestation] are inextricably intertwined.”
Master-level martial arts: Every master-level martial artist knows resisting an attackers attack energizes the attack, making it more effective. The more you redirect attacker-energy in your favor, i.e. not resisting the attack, but flowing with it, the more powerful you become. Nearly all martial arts emphasize mastering this skill.
Personal survival: Riptides are dangerous. What makes them doubly so is if you try to fight your way out of it once you get caught in one. Swim against the force pulling you out and you’ll likely drown from exhaustion. I love this description from the website Art of Manliness:
Don’t try to swim against the rip. Deaths that result from riptides aren’t caused by the current pulling someone under; instead, the person typically panics, starts trying to swim against the rip to get back to shore, becomes exhausted, and drowns. An 8-feet-per-second riptide is so strong that not even Michael Phelps, even when he had that amazing mustache, could swim against it. Don’t kick against the pricks. Swim parallel to the shore. Instead of swimming against the rip current, you want to swim perpendicular to it, in either direction. Rip currents are typically only 20-100 feet wide. Once you leave the rip, swim at an angle away from it towards the shore. Go with the flow. If you don’t have the swimming skills or energy to swim out of the rip, float on your back and go with the current. Just imagine you’re taking a spin on the Lazy River at the water park you went to as a kid. Once the rip current dissipates, you can do the parallel swim thing or try to signal to the lifeguard or someone else that you’re in need of help.
See that part about “go with the flow”? Exactly.
So what does all this mean regarding creating my Charmed Life? Good question. And here’s where the secret waits patiently for discovery: Hold it lightly, my friends.
Here’s how I do it:
I pay no attention to the world around me if I feel resistance about it. What is, is what’s becoming. Focusing on what is only gives me more of that. Instead, I pay attention to the world I prefer seeing. When I do, I feel lighter, as I let go of stress I carry around being frustrated and angry about what I see on tv, read online or in print, or hear from well meaning friends.
I Create in my mind what I would prefer to have that would replace what is. I don’t worry about details. Instead I think about how that new world feels. Fun? Pleasurable? Interesting? Adventurous? Exciting? Then I hold this feeling as long as I can as often as I can throughout the week.
I hold lightly to those feelings, let them generate momentum. I’m light and easy about all this. I play around with the vision I created in the previous step. I let go of any thoughts of “making it happen” or “doing something in the world” that will lead to this vision. My holding onto this vision is more powerful than action because in the Moment of Becoming, what I want already has sufficient momentum to fulfill itself.
I’m open to inspiration. Successful with the above steps, I receive impulses that compel action. I follow that. See where it leads.
I do less, play more. I replace all that time I spend reading, talking, and thinking about what is with time spent having fun. I follow my passions, pursue a fun hobby, develop a new skill, meet new people, go out on walks—whatever is fun. These periods allow my mind and the Universe to collaborate, to create opportunities for me to discover pathways to the world I envisioned in step two.
These five steps contain the power of creation. In a little time I found not only pathways leading me to opportunities, people, events, and ideas that support creating the world I want to see, my life now is more fun, easier and lighter.
When all is said and done, what I want is that last part. I want my life to be fun, easy and light. Truth is, I can have that now, without anything changing in the world around me. But it is oh so much fun creating new realities, then seeing them come true.
I love what I know. I love how I feel. How I feel gets better with every breath. I love knowing the more I love how I feel, the more lovely feels become who I be.
And in that being, so must all my desires be. So they are. And the being I be expands my awareness so those fulfilled desires be in my beingness. In other words: life experience fills with fulfilled desires.
That’s good because it must be. And all that bes is good.
As I stand in my blessedness and worthiness I eagerly anticipate more evidence of my blessedness and worthiness. I know, I feel, I be. I be I do I have. And that includes my fulfilled desire.
Three weeks ago I wrote how every negative situation is positive. Well this week brought such a crazy-ass example of that, I shared it with all my clients. Now I want to share it with you.
This story is hilarious. I almost wrote “unflattering”, but you’ll see at the end that this story flatters me in the sense that I saw how this infuriating situation was also a massive blessing.
Summer’s sun, blue skies and Oregon’s hot breezy air called me out again last weekend. I love working outside along the Willamette River shores. I enjoy Ospreys above and salmon jumping skyward likely avoiding sea lions and their chisel like teeth.
I decided I wanted more of that, so I packed my bike. I packed light, my portable chair, my iPad and nothing more. I planned to finish reading Ross Douthat’s The Decadent Society, its insightful take on current reality had my attention for weeks now. I anticipated exploring Douthat’s take while enjoying the Oregon summer.
The usual spot I work from on summer Oregon days…by the Willamette’s beautiful shores…
That’s not what happened though
Oregon’s governor recently eased lockdown mandates. With her decree, all of Oregon made similar plans. I expected a few people riverside, but wasn’t prepared for crowds that showed up.
A forty minute bike ride turned into an hour while I tried finding suitable, solitary rest stop. I finally decided on a rocky shore devoid of human for lack of any sand. But I had my chair. I didn’t need sand.
I parked my bike, set up my chair then settled into Douthat’s narrative. Thirty minutes later, a couple with two dogs showed up. The young, tattooed Portlanders led their dogs to the water’s edge, unleashed them and threw tennis balls into the river. The larger of the two dogs, a pit-bull, leapt into the water while its smaller puppy companion barked in envy. Then the puppy eased into the water, found it agreeable and went for a swim. I smiled then turned back to Douthat.
Minutes later, the puppy was licking at my bare legs. I’m not a dog person, but I can appreciate a cute pooch. On this day though, I just wanted to read in quiet on a beautiful day. It annoyed me that this dog suddenly was licking my leg. But what annoyed me more was the fact that its owner hadn’t done his legal duty of keeping his dog under control.
I lifted my legs away from the pooch, clearly annoyed, which the owner saw. He came bounding to my rescue, scooped up his dog with an apology and returned to his spot. There, he put it on a leash. His partner too re-leashed the Pit-bull.
All that was nice. But it was too late.
I got hooked in frustration-momentum
Momentum is a powerful thing. Especially negative momentum born of oft-told stories. I’ve harbored negative stories about dog owners who don’t keep their dogs leashed and therefore under control as leash laws mandate. So much so it’s one of my “pet peeves” (oh god! no pun intended!).
Recently when I read about a “Karen” from Central Park Manhattan who made a racist false police report against a fellow New Yorker who politely asked her to leash her dog in an area where a leash law was in force. The fellow New Yorker, a board member of the New York City Audubon Society who happens to be African American, recorded the whole incident. The recording went viral and popular outrage caused the woman to lose her job and her dog. Reportedly, New York is considering banning her permanently from Central Park and the District Attorney is considering pressing charges against her for making a false police report.
This story came to mind as that puppy slimed me. When its owner grabbed it and apologized, I mused whether he also thought about that Central Park incident.
The problem was, I didn’t shake the association, which would have been in my best interest. Comparing my experience to what happened to the Audubon Board Member wasn’t really fair. But old stories about my pet peeve combined with that viral Central Park experience in my head creating momentum that swept me up.
For the next half hour I couldn’t focus on my reading. My mind swirled around the association, my indignation, my annoyance and frustration….
I don’t hate dogs. Dogs love me as much as I love them…sometimes…
What happened next was no surprise
The couple decided to pack up and leave, having I suppose, had enough time at the water’s edge. As they walked to the bike path, I heard the woman say to someone I couldn’t see “Sir, would you mind leashing your dog?”
The irony didn’t escape me. “Cosmic Justice” I thought. Little did I know said justice was just getting started…
I couldn’t hear the what the person she addressed said, but I heard what she was saying. I also got the annoyance in her tone:
“Why aren’t you willing to put your dog on a leash sir?” She asked. I turned, hoping to see who she addressed. I couldn’t see that person. She continued.
“My dog isn’t friendly,” she said. The person said something I didn’t hear.
“How many years have you been around my dog sir?” She replied. “I’m telling you my dog is not friendly.”
Apparently whoever she addressed had done nothing, so she reached down, picked up what looked like a 40 pound pit-bull and scrambled over rocks the rest of the way to the bike path with her male companion in tow.
I was thinking about karmic kickback, wondering how the couple felt now since they themselves hadn’t controlled their (little) dog. Which is why I hadn’t noticed that not seconds later another dog was sniffing at my leg!
It’s my turn…
I turned in surprise, saw the Husky, then darted around looking for the owner. Presumably this was the same person the young woman spoke with earlier. Finally I saw him sitting in a chair he set up behind me on the bike path’s edge.
My indignance increased. “Really?” I thought. “Twice in a row?” What did I expect? I create my reality. Here was the Universe serving me a big pile of pet peeve….a second helping if you will, this time via a Husky and yet another irresponsible owner.
But wait…it gets worse. Or rather, I got worse.
I should have known trying to get the owner to do anything about his scofflaw dog would be futile. After all I saw that play out just seconds ago. Never the less:
“Sir, would you please come get your dog!” I said with force ten annoyance.
The owner looked down at me, at his dog and said “he’s alright.”
“I’m not!” I said.
The owner said nothing.
At that, I’d had it!
Now I was fully in rage. That’s right, I was so angry, I was shaking. I wanted to strangle that damn dog and murder the owner. But I also knew it wasn’t the dog’s fault. So I directed all my rage (in my mind) at the owner. I wanted to first strangle him, then murder him!
I should mention I had the presence of mind at this moment to see the ironic humor here. A part of me knew what I was doing was ridiculous. It’s just a dog. But the principle folks, and the momentum of my pet peeve had me firm in its grip.
Clearly this guy wasn’t going to do anything about his dog. There was no way I could recover my state of calm at this point, not to mention focusing on Douthat’s prose. I decided then to gather my things and head home in a huff, which took all but a couple minutes.
But I couldn’t let it end that way. Noooo.
As I pushed my bike up to the bike trail, I made my “offender” clearly: white male in his 40s, beer in hand, listening to a transistor radio, minding his own business and cool as a . Perfect contrast to my seething rage, which at this point, boiled over and out my mouth:
“YOU’RE EXACTLY THE KIND OF PERSON WHO GIVES DOG OWNERS A BAD NAME!” I yelled in his general direction. I hopped on my bike and peeled away on the momentum of my righteous indignation.
That wasn’t the end of it.
A half-mile into my return trip, it struck me. What happened here? Why am I letting this situation shape how I feel? How I feel is more important than how I’m treated. In fact, I know by choosing how I interpret what happens in my life, I can create reality. Here I was doing what a noob at all this “you create your reality” business would do…
At this point, I should stop and say I know sometimes I’m going to get pissed. It’s just part of what happens when an eternal being comes into physical reality.
Thinking an enlightened person doesn’t get mad sometimes indicates misunderstanding about how physical reality works. Physical reality intentionally offers variety: things I want and things I don’t want. After all, how am I to know what I want if I don’t know what I don’t want?
How am I to know what thoughts feel better than others, if I don’t have a negative experience every now and then?
That’s what I thought one half mile into my return ride. And that’s when I decided I had the power here. I had choice.
So instead of continuing to seethe, I decided to put my attention on something else. Something more pleasing. So I noticed the blue sky. I noticed the green trees. I noticed how much I like riding my bike, how good the sun felt on my bare legs and arms, how good it feels on a Oregon summer day. In seconds I felt better. My feelings reminded me how wonderful it is working from Oregon’s riversides:
That’s when something amazing happened
The more I thought these thoughts, the better I felt. Then…
Ever had an experience where something happens, you react in a less than ideal way, then, later, you get a thought, an idea, an alternative way you could have responded that might have been more effective?
Well that’s what happened. In my increasing happiness I received an alternative scenario that played out in my mind. Rather than throwing a tantrum at the guy, I saw my self calmly rise, gather my things and my chair, walk up to the guy and set up my chair right next to him. So close our chairs touched side by side. Then I sat down, looked at him and began politely talking his ear off.
That’s when I burst out laughing, a belly laugh so strong it obliterated my anger. I let this alternative reality play through my mind, adding humorous bits here and there – I saw him looking at me surprised, then trying to ignore me, then suddenly packing up his things and stomping off, dog in tow off leash. I imagined him and I actually having a friendly conversation, chatting away like best friends. I imagined him and I sitting there, me chatting away and he trying to ignore my chatting tsunami in quiet annoyance…
And you know what happened next? The entire situation changed for me. No longer did I see him as the idiot epitome of bad dog ownership. Instead he became a shining example of what I could be.
Consider this:
This guy was doing his own thing, oblivious to what others thought and said about him
This guy was in his own reality, enjoying his life with his dog. So was the dog!
This guy had presence of mind, a centeredness so powerful, he appeared unphased by not only one, but two verbal aggressors trying to knock him off his rocker
As much as I want to vilify him, he demonstrated to me vibrational mastery. And at that point he went from villain to teacher.
I want to be like that. I want to be calm in the face of storms.
And, in fact I am, nearly all the time.
Which is another thing he taught me: that I am that nearly all the time. When I’m not, there’s always something great in the experience I learn about myself and about my Positively Focused practice.
My 1:1 clients show how easy it is manifesting what they want. After just five sessions, the Universe demonstrated to KJ here how he creates his own reality, thereby getting what he wanted – a table saw – in the most delightful way.
I know this can be everyone’s reality. Connecting with one’s Broader Consciousness, one realizes life is supposed to be not only fun, but also include desire after desire being fulfilled. I show my clients how to have this kind of life.
Doing this is fun for me because I have this life. I love seeing the Universe, acting in concert with my Broader Consciousness, as it coordinates events so that everything I want comes into my reality. “Everything” includes clients who love this way of living, like KJ here, coming into my life so we can play together as we both get what we want.
It’s fun putting God to the test and watching God exceed my test expectations. That’s what happened this morning on my walk.
I know I am God in a human body. Don’t freak out reading that. Everyone is God in human bodies.
Sometimes it’s nice testing my godhood. It’s fun, and it assures me my desires are flowing easily into my life experience. Evidence abounds in that regard, but, every so often creating an event immediately tells me, yup! I’m doing it, I’m creating my reality.
The challenge with creating reality and the reason so many try this “manifestation business” and fail, is because specificity and focus are important. People who fail at creation don’t realize their “failure” actually is success. Here’s why.
Every human being is a God in human form, creating reality through their interaction with it. Conscious creation is more joyful…for obvious reasons. Putting God to the test is fun too. Especially when I delight myself by exceeding my expectations.
If I want something really bad, that’s great, so long as I’m focused on what it is I want. It’s easy, though, in my focus on what I want, to instead focus on the opposite of what I want, which is the absence of what I want, or what I already have.
For example, say I want a new relationship and I’m in a relationship I don’t like. If I focus on all the things I don’t like about the relationship I have, and focusing there, I ask for a new relationship, I’m not going to manifest a new relationship. Instead, I’m going to manifest more of what I have: the relationship I’ve got.
I know I must turn my focus to what I want, not what I’ve got. I know I’ve done that by using my emotions as my guide. I know I’m getting what I want when I feel great in the now, the Moment of Becoming.
The Universe will deliver the essence of everything I ask for. Testing this assertion helps calibrate my focus so I know when I’m focusing on what I want instead of what I don’t. It’s a fun way of refining that important skill.
I know thinking thoughts that feel good makes getting what I want easy.
So that’s what I did this morning. I like testing God (that’s me) by using subjects I don’t have lots of desire about. It’s easier focusing when there isn’t a lot of momentum behind the desire itself. Here’s what I did:
I said I wanted to see a rabbit on my walk somewhere. I live in an urban neighborhood in Portland, Oregon. Houses and apartments and paved streets and alleys define my neighborhood. There aren’t a lot of wooded areas, so seeing a wild rabbit would be amazing. But I knew I can manifest anything I want if my desire is strong enough and, most importantly, my resistance to the desire is weak or non existent.
I focused on how it would feel seeing a rabbit. I held that image for a little over a minute, to get the creative momentum moving. In my imagination I saw the rabbit’s brown fur, its black eyes….I thought about petting the rabbit and how soft it would feel so long as it didn’t bite me . That made me feel happy, a crucial indicator.
I’m clear All That Is delivers the essence of what ask. I know that often means delights beyond my specific ask. So it’s better asking generally rather than specifically because what comes can be missed if I’m too specific about what I want. So while I asked for a rabbit, what I focused on was the fur, the eyes and how it would feel to see something like that in my city.
Then I dropped it. I paid no attention to my request. I enjoyed my walk, the city, the morning air, the flowers and other people out walking.
It was a nearly four mile walk. Returning to the house where I live, I turned a corner one block from home and…not 20 feet in front of me….was a coyote. It looked at me with black eyes…and it had brown fur.
A Coyote a few steps right in front of me! In the middle of town!
Before I could snap a picture with my phone, it ran off around the corner, but as I got to the end of the block, it came running back around the corner. That’s when I got a video of her!
God passed! What a demonstration!
I know I am God in a physical body. I know I create reality through my interaction with it. My thoughts and emotions tell me what creations I’m creating. I share my experiences through this blog because the sharing is fun, but also to encourage others into their full creative potential so they can have as much fun as I’m having.
It really is fun creating reality. I love putting God to the test and then seeing how I exceed my own expectations.
Last month, in cahoots with Inner Being, I realized over $10,000 in project funding. Rendezvousing with that money came surprisingly and delightfully, which is how “right timing” always feels.
Between jobs last month and with COVID-19 shutting down job opportunities, I slowed down looking for work. In that space, I realized what I wanted more than a job paying the bills, was my projects paying the bills.
But existing stories about my projects paying my bills created ongoing nows consistent with them. That’s why I needed work. I didn’t believe my projects could pay my bills. So that’s the reality I got.
• • •
Earlier this month, I decided I would allow those stories a path out of my awareness. Doing that, I knew they would no longer influence my Moment of Becoming.
Do that long enough, I knew, and stories consistent with my desires would show their momentum. My awareness would expand towards that and, in time, I would experience reality consistent with new stories, instead of what is.
That’s what I started two weeks ago. On Day one, determination reigned. By Day 12, old stories re-asserted themselves. All stories or beliefs or thoughts enjoy leaning toward their fullest expression. Once in the head, getting them out takes work, unless I know what to do, which I do, so it’s not work. It’s easy.
I left some in my account…just in case
My old stories reveled in my then what was. The more I looked for work, the stronger their momentum. Their revelry felt like pressure, fear and anxiety in me. Leading up to Day 12 I entertained thoughts like these:
I gotta get a job. My savings are running out.
I should take whatever I can get.
If I don’t take this job, there may not be others.
I’m in competition with others for jobs I want.
But then I reminded myself that I create my reality. Thoughts don’t create my reality. I do, by thinking thoughts. That means I can choose thoughts I think. Choose thoughts that feel good and I know by my good feelings, realities consistent with what my Inner Being has in store for me will become my reality.
That’s what I did. I chose thoughts that feel good. “Thoughts that feel good” sounded like this:
I don’t need to take any of these jobs I feel “blah” about
There are plenty of jobs available for me…
I’m not competing for the job that’s for me. It’s only for me.
My Inner Being knows the best job for me.
I’ll wait for that best job.
But then, something happened. I began thinking totally different thoughts, thoughts that felt even better!
I don’t want a job!
I enjoy working on my projects.
Why can’t my projects pay my bills?
They can!
I want that reality!
Working on my projects full time feels fun!
That was around Day six. Between Day six and Day 12, old belief constellations reasserted themselves several times each day. They (those beliefs) popped into my head under their own momentum.
Thankfully, I trained myself into monitoring my feelings. Any time I felt bad, I knew old stories popped up, even if I didn’t know what thoughts I thought at that time. Negative emotion usually came when my attention slipped into the future. That’s a no-no because when thinking about a future I want I easily slip into thinking about the “how” and the “when”. How will my projects sustain me? When will that happen? Will it happen before I run out of money?
Those thoughts always conjured negative emotion.
Sometimes I knew what thoughts I thought. Other times, I didn’t. Either way, anytime I felt negative emotion, I pulled my attention back into the now, then focused on the positive beliefs.
When I couldn’t shift my thinking because momentum had too much strength, I took a nap, or did something I enjoy: watch a favorite movie or take a walk.
By Day 14, I had done a lot of all that. I felt good.
On Day 14, I had wonderful dreams and epiphanies I journaled about. Then, one of my Positively Focused clients sent a message on WhatsApp. He’s not only a client, he’s keen about Copiosis, one of my projects. He’s given money to that organization before.
My conversation with my client/gift-giver.
It just so happened, I launched a social media advertising strategy earlier in the week for that project. So I had plenty to show him. The progress excited him. So much so, he said he would give me more money to run that organization. Then he said to use the rest of his gift to fund my living expenses so I could work full time on my projects.
How much was “the rest”? Nine thousand, eight hundred and eighty dollars! I walked right into my desired reality. I withdrew most of that, but kept some in Bitcoin.
• • •
Here’s the thing about all this. That money is great. Now I don’t need a job. It will fund my living expenses for most of the rest of the year. More money is coming, I’m sure.
But what’s more thrilling is what I experienced on the way to this money. The deliberate focus. The lining up with my Inner Being. Clarity coming from that. Positive, wonderful, ecstatic feelings that come from that clarity. Every moment I stayed in the present moment, the Moment of Becoming, I enjoyed throughly. In other words, most of that time I was happy. I’m happy still.
Those times I didn’t I stay in the Moment of Becoming, I see as beneficial too. Without them, I couldn’t tell that I wasn’t in the Moment of Becoming. So even those times benefitted me.
Getting the $10K is great. But desire fulfillment lasts hardly as long as the anticipation, the joyful expectations, the pleasure that is knowing it’s on its way, and seeing the signs as I move toward that fulfilled desire. Since I’m eternal, new desires will always spring up. So I’ll always be on the way to one desire or another.
That means, life gets mostly lived on a journey towards someplace. Every time I arrive, arrival births new desire. Which is why I know this: Life is about the journey. Not the manifestation.
The end of my marriage started with my wife wanting an open relationship. It was the best thing that happened in our marriage.
Through her desire for an open relationship, I found the best relationship ever.
Many people going through what I went through feel scared, or insecure or betrayed. I felt eagerness. What did I know that others don’t? Something extraordinary was happening.
Feeling fear, insecurity or betrayal, you miss the extraordinary.
I started Positively Focused so people could get what I got: When your partner wants an open relationship and you don’t, or vice versa, an extraordinary thing is happening.
Open relationships: either partner may want one
Many years ago, it was me who wanted an open relationship. My wife (now ex-wife) and I were in counseling, doing what many couples do: trying to fix things not needing fixing.
I married her because she needed to be married. I loved her, but that’s not why I married her. I didn’t want to be married.
She did not like not being married. I’m always the bridesmaid but never the bride, she’d say. Her mother convinced her she’d never get married. Her mother claimed her daughter had unlovable qualities. That’s accurate. But ironically, those qualities came from her mother.
I know now everyone chooses their parents. My then wife chose her’s and the path we walked together. She didn’t know this during our early years together. Neither did I.
Back then I thought “maybe I could help her get over this upbringing by doing the one thing that would show her mother she was wrong.” So I gave her what she wanted. A ring and a marriage.
It didn’t help. That complaint went away. But other things happening in my wife, and in me, made our relationship….let’s call it…typical.
For one, when we met, I was looking for a transgender partner. She was looking for a woman. I am out and proud about my trans-attraction, having created a website, The Transamorous Network. My online dating profile clearly expressed my preference.
She said she knew we were a match regardless.
That’s true. We weren’t a marriage match. We were a match for other reasons. Reasons driving us both towards our authentic selves.
I see that now. You are on the same path.
• • •
Don’t think this is unusual. Many things bring couples to the alter. My father, for example, once married a foreigner so she could stay in the US. I know a guy who married a transgender woman for the same reasons. They don’t live together. Never have.
A Transamorous Network client of mine, who is himself trans-attracted, knew he was trans-attracted well before marrying his cisgender wife. He married her anyway. He feared telling her the truth because he didn’t want to lose her. It’s not likely their counseling will fare any better than me and my ex-wife’s.
Many people marry while not wanting monogamy. But like my trans-attracted client, many people hide who they are out of insecurity or inauthenticity. Some people not wanting monogamy get married anyway. Marriage will test inauthenticity. My client couldn’t handle being inauthentic. So he (seemingly unwittingly) sabotaged his marriage. He hooked up with a trans sex worker who outed him on Facebook.
Your life experience trumps your marriage. It (your life experience) demands your authentic self. It finds ways around your inauthenticity so your authenticity can shine.
That’s the purpose of all human relationships: they point us to our authentic selves. They aren’t meant to give us love, belonging companionship and security, although some do temporarily. Relationships are processes. They’re verbs. Not nouns.
Most believe relationships endure. “Death do us part” go the vows.
But relationships are “until growth do us part”. You may ask, growth towards what? Towards greater authenticity.
Some people understand this: relationships reflect who we as individuals are. They do that so we live authentically. Relationships represent physical examples of our inner ideals, concepts and beliefs about ourselves. Those ideals, concepts and beliefs get presented to us through our relationship dynamic, warts and all.
People get bored in their relationships because their relationships have become, as someone I respect says, “like gum you’ve chewed all the flavor out of.” When someone decides it’s time for a new piece of gum, relationship-wise, it means they’re growing into more of who they are.
Open relationships do what one-on-one relationships do, times 1,000.
While in counseling, I wanted my wife and I to explore open relationships together. But I knew back then she wasn’t ready. She was far too insecure to give that a try. Later, when she decided she was going to have an open relationship, it was no question whether we’d do it together. She was going to do it. Without me.
I think she justified her decision by first telling me I could sleep with whoever I wanted. I described how that happened here. It was effortless how it happened from my perspective.
But, by the time it happened, I was so far into the spiritual life evidenced by this blog, I wasn’t interested.
Instead, the growth that had my wife demand and act on her open relationship desires, flung me further into my relationship with my Inner Being. I haven’t looked back. And I regret none of the journey.
The best relationship I could ever want
My Inner Being relationship brings more satisfaction, joy, peace, security and a sense of invulnerability no other relationship can match. What’s more, my Inner Being relationship allows a reality, a life experience, in which everything I want comes so easily, it’s ridiculous. I write about these experiences in this blog.
This Inner Being relationship enriches me spiritually too. New dimensions I discover about me and life astonish me daily. I can’t imagine a human-human relationship matching that.
What’s really interesting though is how much love I feel. I feel a total, unconditional love moving through me…for me…from me…from my Inner Being.
I get it now. Through my experience with my wife’s desire for an open relationship, I now have the best relationship I could ever want. It’s not with another person. It’s with me. The inevitability is clear. I got the best life through my wife having sex with other men.
These days, for me, people relationships pale in comparison to the relationship I have with me.
Think about it: what human being can and will give me literally whatever I want? No one!
What relationship with another human can give me the unconditional love I feel from my Inner Being? A wife is not going to do that. A husband won’t. It’s not another person’s job to orchestrate the Universe in ways that bring me what I want. Or to give me unconditional love.
Love I might get from people can’t match what I get from my Inner Being. My Inner Being relationship makes being in relationship with another person…well, not as high-falutin’ as society makes it.
I know that’s because generally, people don’t understand love, let alone why we have emotions in the first place. They don’t understand unconditional love. Another person will never love you unconditionally.
Why? It’s not their job.
A lot of relationships are based on that premise though. That’s what relationship failure looks like before a relationship fails – people looking for (unconditional) love in the wrong place: other people.
You get that from yourself. Not others. Getting lasting, inexhaustible love from yourself not only is easy, with results that are immediate, it’s also fun. You’d think it magical, if it weren’t so eminently logical. It starts with being Positively Focused.
Many people going through what I went through feel scared, insecure, betrayed or some other negative emotion. They don’t know something extraordinary can come from what’s happening. So they get pain and frustration instead of joy and freedom.
Which is why I started Positively Focused.
When your partner wants an open relationship and you don’t, or when you want one and they don’t, you’ve come to a crossroads. What happens next can be extraordinary.
Bonus content:
After writing this I received a question: “But what if I want to keep my marriage?”
The answer is, “That depends on how you think about marriage”. You can keep your marriage. But not if you think that means it stays how it was, with the person you’re with.
Marriage brings comfort, security, peace, relief from being alone, perhaps, companionship, and sexual satisfaction (for a while). But a person doesn’t need “marriage” or a relationship to have these things. In fact, relying on another (through a relationship) to get these things is a sure recipe to sooner or later, lose them.
The best place to get these things is from yourself. When you do, people relationships that come through that connection are far stronger and more satisfying.
Remember, your marriage or any relationship reflects back to you stories you’re telling that create the marriage. Fixing your marriage doesn’t work if you’re oblivious to stories you’re telling that create the marriage you have.
If you leave your current relationship or marriage for another, while not doing anything about the stories, you’re just going to get more of what you had. Only with a different person. Or a number of different persons. Open relationships don’t solve anything. Nothing needs solving.
Stories create reality. Change reality by changing stories you tell about reality. Including the reality that is your marriage.
It’s easy to get people to do what I want. Being Positively Focused is the key.
These two stories show what I mean.
I have a friend I’ll call Jeff. Lately he’s been involved with a guy he’s head-over-heels for. So he spends nearly all his free time with that guy.
One day I sent Jeff a text inviting him over. He texted back saying he was pretty busy and offered the following week. That never happened.
Two weeks later I was riding my bike to get groceries. On my way I thought about Jeff. Then, I thought how great it would be to see a super hero movie. It had been a while since I saw one.
A day after buying my groceries, I realized I “accidentally” left at the register a bag of mixed nuts I bought. I called the store. They said the checker remembered me and invited me to come get a replacement. I told them I’d head that way, weather depending.
I was enjoying creating art for my projects that morning. I really didn’t want to go. But then I got a strong impulse to go. I try to immediately respond to strong impulses.
So I checked the weather. No rain until afternoon. I jumped on my bike and headed over.
On my way, I rode past Jeff’s home. His door upstairs was open, which I thought was strange because his car wasn’t there.
Then, guess who comes around the corner in his car. It’s Jeff! We greet and hug. He tells me he just broke up with his boyfriend. I told Jeff that was perfect because now he can hang out with me.
He laughed and said, “and yeah, maybe we can go see a movie too. I hear that new Joker is really great. We should go this Sunday!”
See the connection? Just the other day I thought how cool it would be to see another comic book movie and here Jeff is suggesting we go to one. And, since “accidentally” forgot some nuts, I was able to connect with him in perfect timing, in person! How cool is that?
· · ·
I’m learning to interpret impulses I get as open doors. I don’t have to walk through. When I do, though, life delivers all kinds of surprises.
The week comes to an end. I haven’t been thinking about Jeff, or the movie he suggested we go see. But on Friday I heard a movie review. The movie stars Brad Pitt. It’s called Ad Astra. It sounded good.
I thought about Jeff and our Sunday plans. Then I thought, “I’d rather see Ad Astra than Joker.”
Sunday morning comes. I wake to wonderful dreams, enjoy a deep meditation and do a dream analysis. Then I prepare for my day using my Positively Focused framework.
I need next week’s groceries, so I check the weather. There’s a 90-minute rain-free window that comes…and goes.
I miss it.
So I put on my rain gear, take out my bike and head to get next week’s groceries.
Now, I know I’m in in tune with the Universe because of what happens in my moment-by-moment life experience. When I’m in tune, the weather cooperates. People are friendly and generous.
Just before I head out, the rain stops. When I get to the store, I meet all kinds of friendly people. I have great conversations with other customers. Store employees are helpful and conversant. Pleasant too.
A continuous stream of happy people coming into my life indicates a strong connection with my Inner Being and the Universe. (My illustration)
I know I’m in a great Positively Focused place. So it was no surprise what happened next.
I get a text message. It’s from Jeff. It says: “what do you think about seeing Ad Astra?”
Of course the story doesn’t end there. We ended up going to the movie and having a great time.
· · ·
This next experience came six months later. The more I’m Positively Focused the gap between one seemingly magical event and the next narrows. These days, magical things happen near-constantly. Only it’s not magic. The universe want’s all of us to have what we want.
The more I tune into universal frequencies, the more things I want happen with no effort. Including people acting in ways I’d prefer.
I’ve said in previous posts I ride my bike to and from work. I like riding my bike, even in cold weather. It’s a great workout. The trip takes about 30 minutes.
But it’s late fall, early winter. It’s getting really cold and rainy. I have the right riding equipment. So I’m comfortable, but one day I wondered about how it would be when temperatures dip below freezing.
One night at the end of my shift, I had a thought. It said “Diane is going to offer to drive me home tonight.” Diane is another delivery driver.
When she drives home each night, she drives right by my house. I’ve never asked her for a ride because I like riding my bike. But this night, I had this thought.
When I got this thought, I let it sit there. I didn’t think about it any more than it was: a passing thought. But I imagined how nice it would be riding home in a warm car…
I clocked out. Then Diane came in. She clocked out, turned to me and said “let me take you home tonight. I’m worried about you riding home in the dark, at night, in the rain.”
I wasn’t surprised. I knew this was going to happen. When it happened, that’s what it felt like. That it was going to happen.
The next several weeks rain fell heavy. Winds blew hard and it was really cold. It’s like Diane knew the future.
Not only did Diane offer to drive me home. When we got to my house, she offered to pick me up the next day too.
Every day since then, we’ve been carpooling to and from work. I didn’t have to ask. It just happened.
I’m starting to interpret some thoughts as precognition. My Inner Being told me it was going to happen. Then it happened.
· · ·
A manifestation, no matter how amazing, always contains seeds for the next manifestation. Life is always getting better for a Positively Focused person. So even when something really cool happens, life says “hold my beer” and tops it. What happens next demonstrates that.
I was enjoying riding to and from work with Diane. We became friends. But Diane has a story about money related to her family. Right now she’s the main bread winner as her husband is in school learning to become a teacher. Diane believes she must maximize her income as the bread winner.
What that means is, every evening, Diane would hang out at the van lot, or at the station and stretch out her shift to earn extra hourly time. I didn’t like that very much. I preferred to get home asap so I can write blogs like this one, draw or do other things.
While I didn’t like what was happening I didn’t try doing anything about it. I didn’t talk to Diane about it. I didn’t complain. Instead I considered the positives: being driven home. Not biking in the cold rain…
Honestly, though, there were times when I complained to myself a little. Sometimes I debated whether or not I should go back to riding my bike. I thought how nice it used to be getting home before 9 p.m.
Commuting by car was nice too though.
Then one morning when Diane picked me up, she said she needed to finish right when our shift ended. She said she planned to take her daughter out for her birthday. We finished right on time that night and got home early.
That felt nice.
Diane and I coordinating so we get off right at the end of our shift.
The next day I asked her how the birthday event was. Then I said “it was nice to get home early. Wasn’t it?”
She agreed.
Then, the following day, Diane told me that her husband asked why was she was coming home so late all the time. He reminded her they were doing fine financially. There was no reason, he said, for her to work extra time each shift.
It’s interesting how that conversation happened. I had nothing to do with it. And yet at the same time, I knew my Inner Being’s hands (if it had hands) were all over this.
So when Diane told me what her husband said, I just said very casually how nice it would feel to come home early every night.
From that day forward, we always left no later than 15 minutes after our shift. That was nice! Because of that, I got home 15 minutes earlier than had I took my bike.
I can tell Diane likes coming home early. I’m sure her husband does too.
Both these stories show how intending rather than trying to control people creates my reality. The more Positively Focused I get, the more life just starts working this way. Things happen literally with no effort on my part.
And the fact that I recognize it when it happens delights the Universe. And that makes the Universe want to deliver more such experiences. That’s the upward spiral I referred to in earlier posts. The better it gets, the better it gets.
It’s easy to get people to do what you want. The key is lining up with the leverage of the Universe. I do that by being Positively Focused.
When I’m Positively Focused, the Universe does all the work. Things I want come easily. Often they come through other people. When it happens this way, the people are more than willing to do what I want because doing it is in their best interest too.
And that’s the easiest way to have other people do what you want: let the Universe make it happen for you.
The best way to make lots of money flowing into my life is by not thinking about it.
Seriously.
I’m not a master at this yet. But I’m getting better as I gain confidence in what I’m doing. Or, rather, how I’m being…
I know my beliefs about money and finances are getting better too. I can tell by what’s showing up more often in my reality.
I’m sharing this life example because of its pertinence. It shows how by not thinking about money, money flows into my life in unexpected and surprising ways.
• • •
Making lots of money flow can be as effortless as anything else. It just takes practice. Being Positively Focused is key. Not thinking about money at all helps too.
I’ll explain why at the end. For now, here’s the story. It’s really cool!
When Money Doubles Without Me Lifting A Finger
This story happened last month.
I have a project called Copiosis (the main website is undergoing a redesign. Link goes to the Facebook page). It’s a world-changing economic system I know would be fun to live in. Someone once called Copiosis “the world Jesus would create were he to return”.
Be that as it may, I know I can create a world better than the one I live in now. Copiosis is my expression of that knowing.
A lot of people follow what’s happening with Copiosis. They want to live in that kind of world too.
And who wouldn’t want to?
Who wouldn’t want to live in a world where all your basic food, shelter, education, healthcare and basic clothing were provided at not cost to anyone, where you’re debt-free and can never get in debt, where you own your home (if you want) and follow your passions, get rich without that costing you anything?
I think nearly anyone would.
Some people are so excited about Copiosis, they throw money at it. Over the six years I’ve been sharing it, people have sent me “gifts”. They range from a few dollars up to $100,000 and everything in between. Some have supported Copiosis ongoingly via a monthly patron plan. Others contribute their time and expertise.
I use money people send me to grow the organization and further share the idea online. I know one day Copiosis will evolve out of capitalism to become the dominant socioeconomic model on the planet. I’m excited to be its spokesperson.
One person following Copiosis is really passionate about it. Let’s call him Joe. Like many, Joe has advocated for it online. But he’s also made presentations about Copiosis at events in Europe.
Joe believes he’s meant to help make Copiosis a reality. Many people come to Copiosis feeling that. But Joe’s a bit different. He has a lot of Bitcoin (BTC).
In late October, Joe was talking about wanting to donate some of his Bitcoin somewhere.
Not thinking about money, I suggested he give whatever organization he wants to give it to the actual bitcoin. Not cash.
That way, when the bitcoin appreciates, they’ll have more money than his original donation.
I really did think he would give the money to another organization. Not Copiosis. That didn’t bother me one bit because there’s plenty of money coming to all the things I’m doing.
That conversation I described above happened on October 8.
Then, on October 13, Joe asked me for my Bitcoin wallet address.
I gave it to him, not thinking at all that he was sending me bitcoin. This is where the story gets real interesting…
Joe then goes away for nine days.
On October 24, he sends me a message. He’s sent me .3 BTC and wants me to check that I got it. A third of one bitcoin doesn’t sound like much. Unless you know about Bitcoins…
Since I don’t think much about money, I hadn’t checked my BTC wallet for a long time. In fact, I hadn’t looked at my wallet for over 18 months!
If you know about bitcoin wallets, they have to synch all the blockchain transactions over time. So it’s best, if you want to be up on things, to keep your wallet up to date.
But I don’t think about money, so I hadn’t keep it up to date.
So when I open my wallet, it’s not up to date. It’s syncing transactions from July 2016! It’s going to take two or three days for my wallet to synch.
I’m not worried about this. I don’t really care. I know the bitcoin process is pretty bulletproof. And besides, my Inner Being’s got this.
Joe’s not too sure though. He’s worried the money went to someone else’s account. He’s worried it got lost.
Joe doesn’t know what I know.
Joe doesn’t know worrying is using one’s thoughts to create a reality one doesn’t want.
But that’s ok in this case. My thought momentum dominates our relationship. He can’t create the reality he’s worrying about with enough momentum to effect my reality because my positive focus won’t allow that.
I try to soothe Joe, but he’s not having it. He want’s me to reach out to my wallet’s support desk. I tell him there’s no need.
The next couple days I don’t hear from him. I’m not worried. I’m not even enthusiastic about the money. I’m not thinking about it at all.
That’s When Things Get Really Interesting
Here’s the cool thing. When he sent the .3 BTC, in US Dollars at the time, he sent about $2,700. That’s a nice one-time gift.
My wallet was synching for two or three days after he sent it.
While it was synching, I couldn’t do anything with it. I couldn’t check the transactions. I couldn’t transfer BTC or cash in or out.
That’s ok though because I wasn’t thinking at all bout this money.
I was thinking about someone else’s money, interesting enough.
I was thinking about the wallet I found in the street on my route. I wanted that person to not worry about her money and other valuables. I was busy hunting her down so I could return her wallet. I wrote a couple posts about this recently. You can read them here and here.
In the meantime, BTC took a nice surprising uptick. By the time my wallet finished synching, that $2700 had more than doubled!
I received $5500!
Joe was astonished.
But I wasn’t.
This is how things work when I’m aligned with my Inner Being though a positive focus. I connect with my Inner Being’s stream of insight and awareness. Through that I get impulses, urges to act…or not act. Acting on those impulses creates in nonphysical reality connections that, when allowed, turn into real-life experiences.
Experiences matching my desires.
• • •
My Broader Perspective also knows all probable futures. Isn’t it interesting that Joe sent his bitcoin to me just before this uptick happened? Just in time for the uptick to double his gift? Don’t you think it’s also interesting that my wallet had to synch, and that process happened over the exact time period the uptick happened?
So long as I don’t resist this natural flow, this connection I enjoy through positive focus, I real-ize all kinds of wonderful life experiences. Life experiences consistent with what I want.
That’s because when I identify something I want, my Inner Being grabs hold of that and makes it reality for it in nonphysical, which then must become my reality.
And so long as I don’t resist that flow, it will become my reality. It must. That’s how the Universe works.
It doesn’t matter if it’s wonderful weather, relationships, nice little surprises people think are “coincidences”, or a pile of money that doubles in size over two days!
Everything is possible when I connect with my Inner Being.
Money Is Not Freedom Unless You Believe It Is
I know humans equate money to freedom. I used to too.
Money does make possible a lot.
The problem with that association is, if you don’t have money (or as much as you’d like) and you believe money is associated with freedom, then you’re stuck kinda.
Because if you believe money is associated with freedom and you don’t have it then it’s easy to feel not free.
I know feeling not free is contrary to what my broader perspective knows about me. In nonphysical, money is not associated with freedom. Freedom is our natural state. That’s also true in physical reality.
But conflating freedom and money in our beliefs creates realities consistent with that.
If you don’t have money, you don’t feel free.
And if you don’t feel free, you create a reality consistent with the beliefs generating that feeling.
And since your beliefs associate freedom with money, you can’t allow money into your life experience because you don’t feel free.
If you associate money with freedom, like I used to in the past, first you must conjure the feeling of freedom. Which is what I’ve been doing for a while.
But really, the easiest way is not thinking about money at all. Which is what I’ve been doing recently.
Here’s why I do that instead of trying to conjure the feeling of freedom in order to get money.
My Inner Being Already Knows I Want It
I know my Inner Being knows everything I’m wanting, where it is and how to lead me to it. This includes all kinds of money. Since it already knows the what, where and how, I don’t have to think about it. I only have to be Positively Focused.
When I’m Positively Focused, I’m best aligned with my Inner Being’s perspective. And so I receive impulses upon which I act. When I act upon them, I draw into my reality, from an infinite variety of probable and alternative realities, experiences consistent with what I want.
I write about this all the time in this blog.
The thing is, I’m more tuned into my Inner Being’s signals on some subjects than I am tuned in on other subjects. I know subjects I’m not so in tuned into my Inner Being with are improving.
Money is one of those latter subjects.
But, I know I’m getting better at soothing old beliefs and tuning into my Inner Being’s signals about money because of life experiences just like the one above. Money is flowing more easily these days.
I also know I’m getting better because of how I feel, how my days are going, the kind of people I meet and what happens in life. I’m getting more positive things happening having nothing to do with money.
And since the Universe is holistic, I know as these other things improve, so are my beliefs about money. Therefore I don’t need to think about money.
In fact, the less I think about it, the less likely I’m likely to energize my old ideas about money.
I know what I’m doing is working. I don’t think very much about money because I know money is flowing to me. This story was a nice indication of that. It feels great receiving it. And that great feeling I feel is what I focus on.
Not money.
I know doing that is bringing more of everything I’m wanting in to my life experience. Including a great big pile of money!
So why do I need to think about it, when I can just be happy and get it?
. Perfect contrast to my seething rage, which at this point, boiled over and out my mouth:
