What is a broken heart? A broken heart is a mindset.
Society romanticizes broken hearts. Movies get made. Songs get sung. Getting hurt happens, right?
No one need ever experience a broken heart. Put your heart in the right place. It will never break again.
My recent relationship taught me that. 😂 ❤️👍🏾
· · ·
Lauren and I got acquainted when she contacted me online.
Mutual affection grew fast, as we had a lot in common. She’s trans. I’m Transamorous. We both shared art, love of music, philosophy, food and more.
But as intimacy grew, she got more nervous. The closer we got, the more uncomfortable she got.
I relish love. I relish love because I am love. Connected to my Inner Being, expressing unconditional love flows like breathing. So, naturally, I shared spontaneous appreciation for Lauren. I appreciated Lauren’s existence, her talent, and her strengths, especially strengths she developed as she’s accepted being trans.
For a while she appreciated all that.
Then it got too much for her.
I know if I’m patient, the Universe will show me everything I want. It will also show me reasons why I may not want what I have.
As my Broader Perspective connection strengthens, I desire human affection less. Connection to Broader Perspective showers me with an incredible, unconditional love. A love so deep and satisfying, relationships with other people get put in their proper place: as nice-to-haves, not as must haves.
There’s no forlornness when I’m not in a relationship because my Inner Being relationship dominates. It (my Inner Being) always floods me, its love so strong and overflowing and present, I never feel alone. I feel loved.
So I never feel yearning or that I’m missing out on love. My Broader Perspective’s unconditional love for me is enough. When it pores through me I become that. Pure love.
So why seek relationships with people when I become that which people crave from relationships?
My perspectives on human relationships changed since discovering my Inner Being. I yearned for them before. I felt incomplete without one. But yearning creates problems. In yearning I sow seeds of loss. Here’s how that works.
When I yearn for something, then get it, I fear I’m going to lose that for which I’ve yearned. Holding tight to what I’ve got for fear of losing it guarantees I will lose it. Holding something tight like that emphasizes its loss. Reality springs from thoughts.
Tightness in my body born of fear is reality. Physical sensations are real, right? So my thoughts about losing someone creates an incipient reality: a feeling. In this case “tightness”.
In that reality, my behavior reflects my fear. I say things consistent with fear. I interpret what I see from that fear. I may even start checking out relationship options. I hedge my bets.
Meanwhile my partner knows what’s up. They may not know it in their awareness, yet they still know. That’s why a partner might check your phone or email. A hunch will push through into their awareness. There are no secrets. We’re all one.
Unchecked my fear creates even more real, realities. This is called momentum. My partner may find my bet hedging, then get insecure. Before long tension grows. Fights happen. Mistrust grows. They might start bet-hedging. Then the breakup comes.
Inner reality is real. Where do you think thoughts come from? Thought is a physical reality.
Thoughts drive perception. Perception is reality too. Perception then drives behaviors. Behaviors are reality. Behaviors influence others and their behavior. Others cooperate with me helping create my reality. They act consistent with my thoughts.
So behaviors always match Inner Reality. Since reality springs from behavior, and behavior springs from perception, and perception springs from thoughts and thoughts come from Inner Reality, then my Inner Reality must become one’s physical reality starting with my thoughts.
That’s how it works.
I know how to create realities I want. My emotions guide me. The better I feel, the more I know my becoming reality includes my fulfilled desires. That’s because positive thoughts must become positive realities.
Strong connection with my Inner Being short circuits yearning, fear and insecurity, replacing them with appreciation and love. My job: staying there as best I can. I don’t always. But doing that consistent enough creates realities consistent with appreciation and love.
So if a partner chooses something other than a relationship with me, I see the former relationship in its proper perspective: a nice-to-have. Not so significant that I create realities consistent with painful loss. Were I to do that, I would experience a broken heart. For a broken heart is a physical reality (an emotion) triggered by thoughts consistent with “broken heart realities”.
Human love can’t match Inner Being unconditional love. Moreover, another person can’t match all that my Inner Being gives me in its love for me. It literally gives me everything I want in wonderful, surprising ways and in perfect timing. I write about these in this blog.
Human relationships always come up short compared to that. That doesn’t make human relationships bad. They are what they are.
Love doesn’t come from another person. Love happens when, while with a person, I tune into thoughts that connect me with my Inner Being. It’s my Inner Being connection that triggers love. Not being in relationship. Which means, I can feel love outside relationship.
This puts relationships in a less triggering perspective. I conjure love at will. So if a relationship ends, it’s not the end of my love, or my world. And my heart breaks no more.
So when Lauren called distraught and in crisis about our relationship, I took it in stride. Despite all we had in common, despite being with someone who loved her, she focused on things she thought we didn’t share. Real things for her. Perception is reality. Her perception saw broken hearts in our future. That scared her.
I found it strange that the more I showered her with love the less she enjoyed us. I found it strange until she told me how people in her past said they loved her, but their behavior said otherwise. She doesn’t know that thoughts create reality. She doesn’t know other people act out what you’re thinking. They do that so your thoughts are “made real” for your examination. They’re made real so you can do something about them.
For me our relationship already succeeded and had no other choice but to succeed going forward. Where she saw “red flags”, I saw adventure and opportunity.
As I said, when one gets connected to one’s Inner Being, it will show that person why they may not want what they have. In her objections, Lauren showed me why Lauren may not be something I want. She wasn’t consistent with my “love vibration”. So she took herself out of my reality, leaving me free to love and be loved.
For me, relationship success looks like a relationship through which two parties are better off because of it. That means two find greater harmony with their Inner Beings by experiencing life with one another.
That’s what happened for me with Lauren. And so where is the case for failure, or a broken heart?
It’s easy to never have a broken heart again. It starts with prioritizing the one relationship that will never end, the one relationship through which I get everything I want, no matter what that is, and then some. That’s the relationship between me and me.
Standing there, I never lose love. Or anything else. It’s all gain. And my heart remains whole.
I spoke with a client a couple days ago. He was in major distress. He’s a new client, struggling with his beliefs about a “diagnosis” he is allowing to shape his life experience.
He’s learning “diagnoses” are just beliefs with a lot of momentum. Therefore, any “diagnosis” can be reversed. He only need allow more momentum for the “diagnosis”-free state. When he does, that “diagnosis” will exit his life experience.
My client already is proving this to himself. He’s having improvement. But his focus is still too much on beliefs associated with “diagnosis”. So he often comes to our sessions in anguish.
A couple days ago he was distraught, in fear and crying uncontrollably. I helped him soothe that condition using the Positively Focused framework. He could have done this himself. Clients further along do this on their own. But Chris doesn’t quite trust himself.
Then told him if he practiced more deliberately what he is learning, he would see more improvement.
Two days later, he wrote me a message. He noticed improvement not long after talking the first time. Then he received a message from his Inner Knowing. It was a clear message to rest.
But he also had an appointment with a doctor.
Instead of following is Inner Knowing and skipping the appointment, he went to the doctor, who, of course prescribed Chris some pills. That night Chris didn’t sleep at all. Not sleeping at all is one of the indicators of his manifesting “diagnosis”.
As you can see from his messages above, he was hard on himself. That’s when I clued him in on what’s really going on:
After sending those messages, I got on my bike to head to a class. The path I take offers many options to get there. I usually take a path that includes crossing railroad tracks. The day before, on the way home, I noticed a train crossing the road. So I took the alternate path home. I’m getting to a point… 🙄
This morning, on the way to that class, I got close to where the tracks are. That’s when I got a message from my Inner Being. It said “take the [alternate path]”. At the same time, I saw in my mind’s eye, a train crossing the road, blocking traffic.
So I took the alternate path. Halfway over the road that passes over the train tracks, I got goose pimples. Then I felt a rush of exhilaration. That’s when I got how my client’s experience overlapped my own.
I received a message from my Inner Knowing just like he had. Only I followed it. And look what happened. Had I not followed my inner guidance, I would have been late.
I followed it though, so I got to class in plenty of time. I had so much time, in fact, I caught a video of the train…and wrote an entry about it in my journal.
When I got to class, I sent my client the video and told him how wonderful this was as a demonstration for him, but also for me, reminding me and showing him that our Inner Beings know everything about what we’re wanting and how to get it. No matter how big or small, our Inner Being is on it!
This is how lining up with my inner knowing allows an effortless life. A life free of little annoyances. My Inner Knowing knows what I want and how to get it. And because it’s constantly showing me that, I can have a life that seems…well magical. If I tune into the guidance I’m sending me.
Anyone can have a life like this.
It seems like magic. Only it’s not magic. It’s just what happens when I get Positively Focused.
I think it’s awesome how both of us, my client and me, benefitted from this experience.
And I’m excited for my client’s continued adventure into his delightful life, free of that diagnosis. Soon he will have an amazing story to tell. Just like my client Tamar.
Illustrations by me 😊
Creating reality is fun.
There are times when it feels shitty though.
To explain: As my reality-creating skills get better, I realize how great being in the “enlightened state” feels. I’ve gotten consistent at it. When I’m there for long periods I feel ecstasy.
I’ve also had 40 years of living life not in that state.
In that not-enlightened state I was creating reality too. A haphazard Willy-nilly one comprised of random thought and focus. That’s a “normal life”.
It’s not always fun seeing that reality show up. Feeling as I do now, that old reality’s emotional content sucks. It’s a far cry from ecstasy.
I know creating reality deliberately brings instant results. But only in areas with little resistance, negativity and weak negative belief momentum.
In areas where there’s a lot of resistance, negativity and strong negative belief momentum, I first must soothe all that before I see results.
Then again, feeling resistance, negativity and its associated momentum subside is an immediate result.
So holding my focus on what I want despite evidence it’s not coming, is crucial. There’s always evidence of all potential realities. I must learn to know what improvement looks like. Then focus on that. That’s how I create realities I want.
And that’s why so many miss how great this work is. And how real its results are. They pay too much attention to what doesn’t seem to be improving – when in actuality it is – instead of noticing improvement showing up.
I know I get more of what I give attention to. It’s that simple. So I pick out and focus on evidence of improvement. And, I get more of that. That’s being Positively Focused.
My current, manifested reality aka The Present Moment is a mix. It comprises some of what I’ve created, which is still active in my awareness, and what is being created, now by me, through deliberate focus in the Moment of Becoming.
For example, this post was prompted by an income tax situation with my ex-wife. We had filed jointly when we were married. Having divorced this summer, I was filing single for the first time in a while. I was worried I’d owe a lot of taxes.
These days, I know “worry” tells me I’m creating a reality I don’t want. That’s why it doesn’t feel good.
But the negative feeling of “worry” drew into my experience a brief belief constellation. It comprised all kinds of worrisome thoughts, thoughts that had a basis in reality. A reality I wasn’t wanting.
So I shifted my attention to thoughts that had a basis in a different reality. A reality I wanted. A reality where my taxes would be managed easily.
The first thing that happened was, I felt a lot better. Then, I received a series of impulses of what to do. Following them, I filed my taxes easily. The amount I owed was quite manageable. What I had briefly worried about didn’t come about. Instead, it all worked out. As it always does.
• • •
When thoughts and beliefs surface from times I lived unaware of what I know now I feel shitty. A “normal life” feels normal to people, because they rarely experience ecstasy. They’re used to feeling crappy. Crappy feels normal to them.
For me, a normal life feels shitty because contrasted against ecstasy, anything less feels, well, shitty. I’ve become used to feeling ecstasy.
Which is interesting because, from an enlightened perspective, feeling shitty is a great thing.
Because when I feel shitty these days I instantly I know to reach for feeling better. I know how to do that too. And my experience changes in an instant. So feeling shitty turns out to be positive. It’s a prompt. When I respond to the prompt, I always return to my enlightened state.
I love that state so much. I’m addicted to feeling ecstasy. That’s an addiction worth having.
Wouldn’t you be if you knew what it felt like, and knew ecstasy could be your dominant life condition, conjured at will?
Honestly too, the longer I practice allowing my natural enlightened state, the shorter these negative periods get. The period prompting this post lasted a day and a few hours, for example.
They used to comprise most of my waking life. I complained a lot back then. So I got a lot to complain about. * Which gave me more to complain about.
It seems the shorter those periods get these days, the worse they feel. It also seems the harder I try to get out of one, the longer and more intense it gets. If I catch it early though, I can talk my way into ecstasy again. Sometimes, it’s better observing it with no judgment and let it pass on its own. Like a summer storm.
I know the negative feeling, that intensity, feels so bad because it’s contrasted against how great I’m usually feeling these days.
These days, I’m appreciating the shitty moments more. For they wouldn’t feel so shitty were I not so often feeling ecstatic. They’d feel normal. You know, “In every life a little rain must fall”.
That’s true only if you’re living a “normal life”. I choose an extraordinary one.
• • •
I’m so glad I’m in this awareness state. It feels wonderful knowing what I know, applying it, then seeing fruits of the application.
I know for example these shitty moments benefit me. They are impetuses. They create within me stronger, more urgent desire for consistent oneness with my Inner Reality. So I can feel ecstatic longer and with more intensity. The more I allow that, the more my reality must shape to that consistent, ecstatic state. Meaning, my experience of daily life must include more and more ecstatic experiences. I feel ecstasy when I get what I desire.
Evidence showing up in my life proves that’s what’s happening. Including what just happened, while writing this (see the * below).
I find invincibility in ecstasy. How can my life experience, my physical life, not match to that? It’s cool knowing I can create any reality I want. Right out of the reality I have.
Sometimes creating is harsh.
But it’s worth it.
*Addendum: This is so great. This post is an example of the simultaneity of past, present and future.
I drafted this post on September 28. Long before I wrote the post I linked to above. But in my Broader Perspective I knew in the future I would create the post I linked to in this post. That linked post related a story about my experience at work, a story explaining how complaining gives you more to complain about. So I let this post about the harsh reality of creating reality sit on the back burner, while out of my Moment of Becoming (the future), examples substantiating what I was writing in this post came to pass. Now I’m editing and preparing to publish this post. It’s December. On November 25, I posted that other post about complaining.
In other words, I knew in the past that, in the future I would write a post I’d want to link to in this post I was writing (in the past), so I let this post sit until that other post was published. Now that it got published, I was moved to finish and publish this one. How cool is that?
Linear time is an illusion.
And my awareness is now broad enough to perceive and delight in this uncanny, awesome experience of the simultaneity of past, present and future! How cool!
So fun. I came out of dreams this morning feeling wonderful. Then, while enjoying my latest post online, I received a block of thought from nonphysical.
I was going to create a formal blog around it. But instead, I’m going to share what came as best I can, as straight from Source as I can, as immediately as I can. Rather than surrounding it with context.
I think it’s important others to know this.
The best teacher is life experience. But I know me sharing this will touch one person enough that they will start thinking about how they can have similar experiences. One person is all it takes to change the world.
It doesn’t have to be me. I’m not special.
So here’s the block of thought I received, translated into words as best I can. The “you” in this block is not you. It’s speaking directly to me, so “you” means, me:
“The are infinite ways to get things done. The dominant way looks like this (in business, for example):
- You get an idea
- You have to find customers
- You need money, so you have to get investors
- You have to advertise, commercialize, generate a profit, mind your “P”s and “Q”s, cross your “I”s and dot your “T”s while keeping your nose to the grindstone
- And maybe, you’ll be successful.
The dominant belief in physical reality (among nearly all humans) says making anything happen looks this way. Struggle, sacrifice, effort, action.
Another, broader perspective approach, is this: the reality (the idea) I desire already exists in non-physical. Tuning into that reality will literally bring that reality into full, physical form.
Take your body. Your body is full of points of consciousnesses delightfully collaborating to create the reality that is your body. They do so willingly and moving “forwardly”. There is no obstruction to your body’s “creation”. It happens naturally. Unless you get in the way with worry -– about your weight, about some mark on your body that wasn’t there before you make significant through “worry” – the body takes care of itself, creating its image in the image of your deep knowing that your reality is sovereign.
Every other reality you want is created the exact same way. By focusing on what you want, purely, with no contrary thoughts about it, you gradually draw the “cooperative elements”, the points of consciousness that are joyfully associated with that thought and eager to see that thought’s full expression.
Together we (All That Is) collaborate creating the most forward expression of thought. The most fulfilled expression of desire. For all desires become manifest. Or at least all desires seek full expression. Which manifest in your reality depends on where you put your attention…and your awareness capacity.
And so, as you line up with those points of consciousness, as you become the final cooperative component falling into place with the desired thought, that thought’s full-blown physical manifestation must reveal itself to you.
Just like your body. This is how reality becomes real.”
What’s fantastic about this block of thought is how it came. And how everything in my life right now demonstrates the block’s accuracy. This isn’t magic. Things are happening over night and instantly. But also gradually. Life is gradually getting better and better. I see no end to how “better” it’s going to get.
Everything is cooperating to create the reality I want. With no resistance in that forward movement. The only resistance in the mix is my own distracted, indeliberate focus.
But I am getting better at focusing on what I want instead of what I don’t. And that’s why my desires are being realized by me faster.
It’s interesting because as I sit “in” this block of thought, it’s vibrational reality, the ideas in it are so clear. They come as visions and as “signals”…not words. Putting the block of thought into words….”slows down” the nonphysical essence of it. I think that’s necessary. Because physical reality, which is where words exist, moves slower.
Expressing thought blocks in words requires more words than what exists in the block’s non-physical state.
The cool thing is how faithfully my reality experience proves all this.
The secrets of the Universe are constantly being revealed to all of us. The question is, am I putting myself in the predisposition to receive them?
I am. And that’s how I get things done these days. By letting the Universe do all the work.
Many people I work alongside complain about life. They complain about work. They complain about what’s happening after work. And before work.
Maybe you work with people like that.
When they’re at work, though, most of their complaints are about work.
Most times I avoid such comments. Or I ignore them. Coworkers I’m friendly with know I make no time for their complaints. So one’s I’m friendly with don’t complain around me.
Since my promotion, I’ve gained credibility in my coworkers’ eyes. Both those I’m friendly with and those I’m not.
Today I approached one coworker I’m not so friendly with. The other day, he talked about a pair of winter work gloves he’s thinking about buying. I’m looking for some too. So I asked him about what he was looking at.
But the conversation jumped from gloves to his recent delivery route experience. He told me about how difficult his route had been. How many apartments he had. How much of a struggle it was delivering in apartments.
I said “You know, if you didn’t talk so much about things going wrong on your route, your route would get easier.”
He gave me a blank look.
I added “I know you don’t understand what I’m saying. That’s because you don’t believe thoughts create reality. You believe reality is independent of your thoughts and beliefs.”
He said, “Ok, tell me how exactly it would happen that if I change my thoughts my routes would get easier.”
I said “I can answer that in complete detail. But because you believe reality is independent of your thoughts and beliefs, the words I would share with you would have no meaning to you.”
“Well you certainly have me pegged correctly,” he sad. “I don’t believe my thoughts can change my reality.”
At that point, I asked him what I have in previous, similar conversations: “Have you tested your beliefs to see if you’re right?”
He said he hadn’t.
Of course he hadn’t. Few have.
Then the conversation got interesting.
“I can tell you one thing that’s probably creating my delivery route experience,” he said with confidence.
“Ok,” I said, smiling. “Tell me.”
“That algorithm,” he said. Our company uses an in-house software that tells drivers where to deliver. We’ve been told that software observes how a driver delivers one day. The next day the software alters that person’s route based on its observances.
The driver continued. “The algorithm is designed to give us the same route we deliver successfully so that we get even more efficient on that route.”
I said my route is always easy, in an easy area, the load is easy to deliver and customers on my route are super-friendly. I also told him I never bring back packages when I’m done and usually get my route done early.
He said “that’s because the algorithm keeps giving you that route because you’re successful at it.”
What the driver didn’t know was there was a flaw in this logic. I pointed it out to him.
“So if the software designs your route based on your successful route the previous delivery cycle,” I asked, “then why do you keep getting sucky routes?”
He paused in thought.
Then said, “because we’re told the software works that way. But I don’t think it really does.”
But that logic didn’t make sense either. “If that’s true,” I said, “then why does the software keep giving me the same route, in the same area with great customers and easy delivery days?”
something has greater influence over all factors involved in delivering these packages. The algorithm plays a part. But there are the people who pick the packages, label them, and organize them according to other software directions. These people can introduce all kinds of variances changing route characteristics.
Dispatchers sometimes rearrange routes. This rearrangement often changes decisions the algorithm makes.
And yet, with all these variables, I still get the same route. With all the wonderful features I laid out above. There must be something else influencing deliveries.
That creates different delivery experiences for different people. Differences that can’t be attributed to the algorithm.
I know that greater influence is my broader perspective. It responds to my focus. Being positively focused, I draw from All That Is only realities consistent with that.
So my routes are always wonderful, my customers fun and happy and my delivery days easy and fun.
Meanwhile, those complaining about their delivery experiences, get more of that. Complaining gives more to complain about.
Unbeknownst to my colleague the Universe laid bare its secrets. But he couldn’t see them. They were as clear as the words coming out of his mouth. But he couldn’t hear the logical flaws in his beliefs and thoughts. Flaws pointing right at the secret: You create reality by tuning yourself to specific probable futures matching your thoughts and beliefs. This happens all day every day, in every moment.
• • •
If you complain, you get more to complain about. If you’re happy and care free, life reflects that.
I prefer the latter. So that’s what I pay attention to. And that’s what I get.
The driver talking with me believes his thoughts and beliefs don’t shape his reality. So he gets realities that seem random and chaotic. Randomness and chaos come from beliefs in randomness and chaos.
But such beliefs mask the 100 percent correlation. Correlation that really is causation.
I love how clear reality presents to me Universal Secrets. Sometimes it’s through direct observation, manifestation of a desire I have or a conversation. Each time I’m reminded how awesome life is.
And it’s getting better and better. I love sharing my insights. I know when I do, I move humanity, the world and the universe forward.
It’s what I’m here to do. I’m glad I have such an awesome role to play in the context of All That Is.
An addendum: The next day, this same driver came to me. He said “I’m not saying our conversation had anything to do with it, but my day went very smooth yesterday.”
As I have said, results are immediate. Which is why I give my Positively Focused clients a 100 percent money back guarantee.
I never have to return their money though. Because the results always happen. That’s because what I share with my clients and through this blog is 100 percent accurate.
They are the secrets of the Universe. Sharing them fulfills me.
Addendum #2 (Dec 3. 2019) last week, I got dispatched to help a fellow driver with her delivery route. It was a chaotic mess. Something went very wrong in how the route got assembled. That’s why this driver was having such a hard time delivering her packages.
When I returned to the station, I asked, out of curiosity, how a route could get so badly organized. His answer reflected exactly what I’m saying in this post. He told me why and how it could happen. Then, at the end, he said “It’s just a matter of bad luck. That this happens to some drivers.”
I don’t consider it a matter of “luck”. Luck is what people who don’t understand what’s happening behind the scenes use to describe what’s going on. But it’s interesting, right? With all the details organizing routes, in the end, “luck” plays a big part. The question is then, how do you get luck on your side?