Tag: How to be happy

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Is Relationship Anarchy The Way To Better Love?

Photo by Orit Matee on Unsplash

TLDR: Relationship Anarchy (RA) challenges traditional relationship norms by advocating for love without entitlement and relationships defined by personal values. However, the term’s negative connotations and anarchist affiliations have created misunderstandings. Despite RA’s merits, it cannot eclipse the ultimate relationship with one’s Broader Perspective, which provides unconditional love and fulfillment beyond what any human partnership can offer.

A relatively new relationship dynamic is emerging. More people find it a satisfying way to express themselves romantically and intimately while finding companionship. It’s called Relationship Anarchy (RA).

In this post we’re going to look at this new dynamic relationship model. Instead of getting into it deeply, we will compare it to what we recommend regarding relationships. That’s because, it’s a definite improvement on humanity’s past “success” with relationships. But it still falls short of the ultimate relationship: that one relationship that gives us everything we want. Including satisfying relationships.

So let’s take a look at Relationship Anarchy. Then let’s contrast that against the ultimate relationship. The only one through which we get everything we want.

What is RA?

Andie Nordgren coined the phrase Relationship Anarchy in 2006. Her English manifesto on the matter, written in 2012, gives broad strokes on what it looks like. The way Andie describes it, RA sounds great!

Among the broad strokes is the assertion that love is abundant. RA says entitlement runs rampant in traditional relationships and that entitlement should be replaced with love and respect. Andie recommends that people define their values, then use frequent communication to infuse their relationship with those values, alongside a partner who shares them.

The biggest shift from traditional relationships is Andie’s suggestion to “customize” one’s relationship and commitment. Rather than relying on social norms, Andie says, we should define our relationship on our own terms while ignoring society’s expectations.

It’s no wonder then that Wikipedia includes RA in its non-monogamy
and polyamory series.

Anarchist affiliations…not good

And while Andie describes it optimistically without comparing it to something else, Wikipedia takes a different tack. And this is where problems start to show up.

That’s because the word “anarchy” itself is problematic. It brings a lot of bad interpretations to the table. Further, most people familiar with the term see anarchy as destructive. Even though anarchists claim the concept to be quite constructive. Historically, the movement has not been constructive, however.

The result is anarchy is seen predominantly as “anti-“. It’s also often associated with violence.

We can’t be “anti” something without enflaming that thing we’re against. Which explains why anarchists have made virtually no progress in creating society based on its merits.

And that brings us back to RA. And Wikipedia.

The anti relationship

The Wikipedia entry on RA describes its principles as pretty much anti-everything. At least when it comes to relationships. I would argue Andie doesn’t see RA that way. Andie’s characterization is fresh, positive and encouraging. But the Wikipedia entry. Well, see for yourself:

Indeed, this article, featuring two people in an RA relationship, speak in similar language. They contrast and define their relationship by what it’s not, comparing it to existing, undesirable relationships (according to them).

Now it could be the Wikipedia contributor who wrote the article is biased. He could interpret “anarchy” as “anti”. But the article linked in the above paragraph also characterizes RA as a “political” take on relationships. One trying to redefine what relationships look like. One also striving to “fix” power dynamics some RA believers think are bad.

But can we really define something based on what it is not? I think Andie does a better job describing the concept. It seems, however, many took the concept in a different direction.

The best relationship

Which brings me to the point of this piece. RA is great. It’s offers a fresh view of relationships. It certainly offers better options. Better options for those who feel uncomfortable with amatonormative edicts. It’s therefore not surprising the couple in this article includes both a trans person and a queer woman.

And yet, all relationships with other people fall short when compared to the one relationship that gives us everything we want. That is, our relationship with our Broader Perspective. While it’s nice finding love in another’s eyes, that love will nearly always be conditional.

Even in an RA relationship.

For even there, a person must find connections with people who have similar values. That makes sense. But even then, people will sometimes end up in conflict. What the couple does in that case depends a lot on how stable they are within themselves. And there’s no better stability than that found in our Broader Perspective.

Besides, our relationship with our Broader Perspective opens us to a love causing other loves to pale in comparison. It’s strong. It’s lasting. Our Broader Perspective’s love literally overwhelms us in its depths. And it feels freaking great!

Furthermore, through our Broader Perspective, everything is possible. Including finding the perfect partner. That is, if one wants that. This relationship is the best relationship out there. In so many ways it offers what human ones cannot.

When we put our Broader Perspective relationship first, others happen easily. (Photo by Oziel Gomez on Unsplash)

Literally everything we want..including freedom from death

Our Broader Perspective relationship is here to lead us to everything we want. All our desires get fulfilled through it. Our Broader Perspective constantly showers us with that which we’re wanting. When we put that relationship up front, those things flow easily into our reality.

Human partners can help us get things. They can connect us with jobs. They may even connect us with financial opportunity. But those too often come through filters, filters that often aren’t in synch with what we really want.

In other words, our Broader Perspective knows us best. It knows what will thrill us. It knows the best path to everything we want. Whether that be a material thing, or something else.

But the biggest thing that relationship offers is something no human can touch. It offers freedom from the fear of death. I know, that sounds crazy. After all, so many of us are too busy living. Too busy living to think about death.

Well, it seems that way.

But most people’s fear of death is front and center in their lives. It’s one reason people worry about time running out. Their fear of getting old has its basis in death. So does their fear of being single.

Fear of death takes many forms

The fear of death is pervasive in the world. It doesn’t feel like it’s about death though. That’s because the fear hides behind other fears.

What kind of fears? Fears of being cast out of a group, for example. The fear of losing one’s job is another. The fear of being unable to support one’s family is yet another. As is the fear of one’s human partner betraying us. There are plenty more.

These fears mimic the ultimate fear, which is the fear of dying.

And so people respond to all these fears in predictable ways. They’re impatient. They’re demanding. They are desperate. And in that, they cut themselves off from the one thing that can relieve them of all these fears and more: their Broader Perspective.

The fear of ending up here can take many forms. (Photo by davide ragusa on Unsplash)

Now I’m not saying don’t have human partners. What I am saying is, first, ground ourselves in the one partnership giving us everything we want. Including the beating of our hearts and the breath we take.

And when one finds that, there’s little “need” for anything else. Because everything else naturally flows from there. Including human love.

I’m in favor of RA. I wish it had a different name. RA is closer to the Broader Perspective love I’ve described in this post than many of the other relationships humans form. Including parent-child relationships. There’s still a ways to go though.

The better it gets the better it gets

And isn’t that the great thing about life experience? There is always a ways more to go. Because life is eternal. We never get to the end. We’re never perfect. But in the perfection of the now, we are perfect. Not perfect as in “complete”. Not perfect as in “done”. But perfect in our becoming more.

Standing there, I see this RA concept fitting what I want in partnership. With my stability rooted in my Broader Perspective, I know what I’m wanting is on the way. I’m eager to see it unfold. I’ve had tastes of it. And I’m patient for further unfolding.

Andie’s onto something. I’m eager to learn more about RA. But I’m clear something better exists. I enjoy that something now. Which allows me to feel excitement. Excitement and joy about those finding satisfaction in RA.

Good partnerships elude many. That’s because many look there for something that’s not there. Something that only comes from a relationship with themselves. I write this blog to show people how to “know thyself”. And in doing that, find happiness from within. Instead of looking for it outside themselves.

My clients consistently find that happiness. Along the way, they get more of what they want too. Their examples fill me with eagerness. They also amplify my own happiness. A happiness that gets better and better.

Maybe you’re ready for your version of that? If you are, contact me. Let’s get you started. Let’s find out how “better” life can get.

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When A Scam Is An Awesome Gift Of Love

Photo by Towfiqu barbhuiya on Unsplash

I suppose most people think being scammed is a bad thing. But a scammer taking advantage of you tells you something really good.

No, it doesn’t tell you you’re stupid. Or that you should be more aware…although you probably should. What it is telling you is that there is something happening inside you that makes you a match to that experience.

Yes, the scam “victim” draws that experience into their life. Being scammed isn’t a random event. No event is. Instead, it’s a reflection of an inner state, a vibrational state. The event vibrationally matches that inner state, so it shows up in the scammed person’s experience as manifested reality.

This is exactly what happened with a client recently, although she caught it early enough to avoid being scammed. Just like I did before.

I wrote about what most people would say was the positive side of this experience last week. But this week I’m going to share another positive side. A side most would probably think was “negative”.

But it’s not. It’s very, very positive.

Desperation: a great money maker

As I wrote last week, this client finds herself attached to a certain guy. This guy waffles in his affection for her. The client knows she deserves better. But because of beliefs causing her attachment, she can’t pull herself away from the guy. I mean, she could, but she feels compelled not to.

As a result, she wants him to change. But he won’t change. That’s because her focus remains on his waffling behavior. She doesn’t like that behavior. But because she fixates on it, it persists.

Not only that. It’s getting stronger.

And as it does, her desire for it to change gets stronger too. So the two amplify each other. That amplification leaves my client feeling desperate. And desperation is what the vibration feels like that makes one a match to scammers.

Especially scammers who use the potential of finding love as their leverage.

No where are people more desperate than in their pursuit of love. They’re willing to spend thousands to get it. They’re also willing to kiss a lot of frogs.

Meanwhile, the endearing, unconditional love they seek in the world around them exists closer than they think. It’s right there inside them. It’s the connection between them and their Broader Perspective. And when a person connects to that, love from another human pales in comparison.

The irony is, when a person has this inner relationship front-and-center, human relationships get better. And love one wants from another human gets better too.

Conditional love or unconditional love?

The client in question doesn’t have this Broader Perspective relationship front-and-center though. Instead, she’s allowed her relationship with Mr. Waffle to displace that relationship. And this is why she feels desperate. Because love from another human always comes with conditions. Broader Perspective love, however, is unconditional.

Displace that unconditional love with conditional love and the immediate feeling is insecurity. Keep it there long enough and insecurity turns to worry, concern, fear, jealousy and even hatred. These emotions happen when that unconditional love another human brings to the table bears out as unconditional: when they get mad at us for not meeting their expectations. Or for doing something they don’t like.

Our Broader Perspective has no conditions we can’t meet. It doesn’t get mad at us. We don’t irritate it. It just loves us, period.

A person trying to rely on conditional love can develop feelings of desperation when everything they try fails to coax their partner into behaving the way they want. That’s what was happening with this client. And that’s why she was feeling desperation.

Finding her way

So last week when those four new perfectly-matched dating options showed up, the client was overjoyed, at first. As she explored one of them more deeply, however, he turned out to be a scammer. A scammer preying on people desperate for love.

This revelation had the client feeling angry, then sad. But what was happening wasn’t sad. It didn’t have to be anger-inducing either. That’s because the experience showed my client exactly where she was vibrationally. And if she didn’t know where she was vibrationally standing, she couldn’t do anything about it.

Thankfully, the client’s Broader Perspective got her attention well enough to trigger skepticism about this person. She looked into it a bit more, then discovered the plot.

She’s still struggling though. She hasn’t yet found her way through disempowering stories on various subjects. Stories that have her feeling vibrationally low. And creating circumstances, events…and men, projecting that low vibration back to her.

And yet, improvement is on the horizon. So long as one persists in their focus, their desire to improve their vibration, that will happen. Then the world must reflect that improved vibration back to her in the form an improving life experience.

In the meantime, this client already has created enough evidence on other subjects proving the Positively Focused Way works. So she’s going to persist. Which means she’s eventually going to get everything she desires. Including a satisfying relationship.

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The Universe Is The Best Dating Service

Photo by Jamez Picard on Unsplash

On my other blog, I encourage readers avoid online dating. It’s costly. It rarely succeeds. And it’s not very fun. Especially for BIPOC.

Recently, a Positively Focused client came to her own understanding of this. She realized, unconsciously, as most clients do, that the Universe is a wish-granting jewel. It constantly fulfills every desire.

Just because it does that, however, doesn’t mean we receive every desire fulfilled. To receive, we must be tuned in. We must be on the same frequency of the fulfilled desire. That means, of course, following Broader Perspective impulses. If we do that, we end up at the perfect place and time to real-ize fulfilled desire.

However, most of us don’t know how to hear impulses. So we move through life haphazardly. Or we rely on “doing”. We try making things happen. Instead of allowing them to happen.

That’s what lead to my client’s epiphany.

Attachment breeds unconsciousness

My client currently is in love. Rather, she thinks she is. Actually, she’s in very strong attachment. Attachment over this guy she thinks is “The One”. The problem is, no person is that. The only “The One” in our lives is us. In other words, we each are our own “The One”.

Most of us don’t realize this though. That’s because society talks us out of our inner knowing. We then forget we are eternal. We forget we are eternally loved, loved by us, and that no other love can compare to that. Especially conditional love from another human.

This client finds herself thus. She’s struggling, therefore. She’s struggling because she’s experiencing things she doesn’t like about this guy. Every time they spend time together and get close, for example, he freaks out. Intimacy frightens him. So he’ll waffle. One day he’s all Lovey-dovey. The next day, he “needs space.”

This pattern may sound familiar.

The problem for my client is her attachment. She wants so bad for this person to change. But he can’t change when she focuses so much on his behavior she doesn’t like. Behavior reflecting her own waffling way of being.

That’s right, my client realizes in this guy’s behavior that she was this way in relationship for decades. So she is having her dominant way of being in relationship reflected back to her.

I told her this was the purpose of this relationship: to have her see what’s happening inside her, vibrationally. Seeing that, she can then change her frequency.

But she’s not having that. Which has her suffering in indecision and strong resistance. Resistance she thinks is desire. She’s struggling in attachment too. Attachment she thinks is love.

But it’s not.

Which is why what happened next is so compelling.

The Universe delivers

While my client holds onto attachment for dear life, her focus on what she doesn’t want already has created what she does want. The Universe already answered her desire for a better relationship, in other words.

Still, her attachment has her pining for this one guy, rather than going with the flow of her unfolding.

“I was on my Facebook profile,” she explained one session. We were talking about her dating possibilities and how the Universe keys up an infinite stream of increasingly better quality men for her. “I rarely visit it. So when I did, I noticed I had 150 new friend requests.”

She continued: “I’m on eHarmony. None of the men I see there are attractive to me. It’s depressing.”

The client said she wondered while pursuing her online dating profile if she should date only widowers. She thinks such men would be better matches. That’s because, supposedly, they had long, enduring relationships, right up to the bitter end! Then she said she also thought she should date only engineers, since she gets along with such guys easily. She used to work in an engineering-heavy industry.

“So when I looked at the friend requests,” She explained. “Four of them were really handsome men. All four were widowers and all were engineers! That’s so weird.”

“Weird” means “I’m oblivious”

“Weird” is a common client refrain. Like most people, clients don’t get how consistently Universe delivers on all desires. So they don’t experience enough evidence of it. When I point out the evidence, they can’t believe it’s how the Universe works. They instead see these experiences as standing out. As strange. As “weird”.

In time, anyone will move beyond “weird” to just accepting that the Universe does this. But until then, people just can’t accept that these “coincidences” are how the Universe works. In other words, they’re oblivious. And that obliviousness blocks them from seeing their desires fulfilling themselves, like this client seeing the Universe give her matches without her having to do anything.

This obliviousness is why people are trying to find their match via online dating. And trying to “make” other things happen in their lives too. They think “doing” is the key to getting what they want. When in fact, relaxing and trusting will make it happen easier and with more fun.

People make a lot of money out of other people thinking “doing” is the only way.

I encouraged my client to get this: That the Universe knows better how to deliver what she wants. And that no amount of doing can replace the power and leverage of the Universe.

But she’s still attached. So she’s still struggling. Meanwhile, the wonder wasn’t wasted on me. I reveled in the awareness giving me insight into the gift the client received. Even if she can’t enjoy that awareness fully…yet.

I know, in time, should she continue, she will. It’s the natural unfolding of All That Is. All That Is, which is what we all are.

Discover how the Universe is serving you with utmost loyalty. Contact me. Let’s get you started in your own practice.

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The Great Tragedy Of Christianity Also Is A Blessing

Something awesome happened in the Positively Focused Advanced Group session this week. The topic: Christianity. When one participant got mildly triggered, she also triggered a wonderful exploration.

After a hundred hours or so of one-on-one session practice, I invite eligible clients into the Advanced Session Group sessions. The monthly sessions’ value lies in the group dynamic. Participants benefit from hearing others’ experiences. That’s because it’s easier seeing something going on in another’s life than our own sometimes.

One Advanced Group participant still believes in Christianity. So when Christianity came up “Jane”, which I’ll call the client, struggled a bit with what came next. It was Jane’s struggle that offered Positively Focused gold to everyone else. Including Jane! Let’s see what happened.

Cognitive dissonance begets a great conversation

Jane said she appreciates how Christianity aligns with what she’s learned from her Positively Focused practice. Of course, that’s accurate. What I share in Positively Focused sessions is exactly how the Universe works. This explains why clients’ lives dramatically improve as their proficiency with the Positively Focused Way improves. One’s life MUST improve.

That’s what happens when one stops resisting how life works.

It also makes sense Jane’s experience with the Positively Focused Way highlights similarities between it and Christianity. She shared some New Testament Bible quotes, which she believed say the same thing we talk about in our Positively Focused practice. Everyone listened quietly as she talked.

When one chronically views life through a Positively Focused lens, everything reveals its positive aspects to the viewer. That’s consistent with the way the Universe works too. Because All That Is sees everything happening in itself as good. Only humans see it differently, often to their detriment. So it made sense that Jane sees similarities between her Christian beliefs and the Positively Focused Way.

But she wasn’t taking her analysis far enough. Another practitioner did, however. Her analysis took us right up to the leading edge. Here’s how that happened.

When I said Christian teachings contain significant distortions, Jane got uncomfortable. She didn’t believe that. Her beliefs about Christianity wouldn’t allow it. I added that its distortions primarily explain why humanity experiences much difficulty today. This religion, and others, distort how the Universe works, I said. Accuracies exist in Christianity and other religions. But distortions in them overwhelm those accuracies.

Jane got a bit defensive about her beliefs. I believe others felt that from her too. That’s when another participant I’ll call “Maria” spoke up.

Introducing Christianity’s Major Distortions

“Maria” is an African American woman. She also happens to be transgender. She took to the Positively Focused Way quite quickly. I attribute that to her being trans. Her trans status forced her to look for alternate world views. Ones that told her she is perfect the way she is, not an abomination. Or confused, or mentally ill. As a result of this, Maria took very well to the Positively Focused Way, because it asserts her perfection as a god in human form. Her confidence and ability with the Way reflects that.

Anyway, Maria, gesturing for emphasis said “The main problem with Christian belief is it says God exists ‘out there’ outside us.”

Her statement hung in the air a moment. I let it be a bit before adding “and Original Sin, that we are born into sin, is a problem too. So is the idea that Jesus died for our sins.”

Jane was silent for some time. She couldn’t deny it. These three basic tenets of Christianity run counter to how the Universe works. They also run counter to who we each are as eternal beings, god in human form.

Think about it. Assume a god exists out there separate from us. He — invariably “he” — arbitrates who gets into heaven. So each person must be a particular way in life to “earn” a ticket in. If we don’t, we’re condemned to “hell”. There’s a lot to unpack there. But let’s just stick with this separate God. If a God exists as Christianity asserts, one we must satisfy or go to hell, then humans are perpetually wondering if their acts will earn them a ticket to heaven. Don’t you think that sets humanity up for perpetual, intense insecurity?

And doesn’t this Original Sin greatly amplify that insecurity? It’s like the moment we’re born we’re damned, beholden to the mercy of Christ.

Insecurity is positive, but not the way you think

That insecurity happens automatically. That insecure feeling is also good. It’s good because it tells us something we want to know. But if we don’t know what it’s telling us, that insecurity will inspire action amplifying the insecurity.

For example, it will make a person externalize their insecurity. I’m sure you’ve experienced this. I sure have. The purest form of this externalization shows up among kids. Christian kids will sometimes tell non-Christian kids they are going to hell. Adults do this too. Christian parents sometimes even say it to their own kids! Such acts are manifestations of trying to soothe inner insecurity born of distorted Christian teachings. But judging others, and emotions that follow such acts, only amplify that inner knowing. The knowing saying “something is off here.”

Something is off. We are gods becoming more. We come into this time-space reality in pursuit of that more. There is no one outside of us, judging what we’re doing. We needn’t please someone in order to get somewhere. And, as gods, when we live from our godliness, life evidence will show us our inherent worthiness.

Live from your Charmed Life and life will show you heaven on earth. (Photo by Omkar Jadhav on Unsplash)

Life gets better. Confidence replaces anxiety. Security replaces insecurity. Loving others replaces condemning them.

All this is possible. But only when we take “insecurity” for what it is telling us. Then do something about it.

Perpetuating distortion generation to generation

And do something we must. Because no one else can do it. Jesus can’t do anything for us. We don’t need saving because we were never lost. Instead, we are what Christians externalize. And when we live from that, life turns into the Charmed Life I write about.

If “Original Sin” does exist, it looks like this: the tendency in parents to pass on distortions to their kids. The “sin”, if there is one that we are born into, is being born to parents who don’t know they are god in human form. Parents who don’t know their children are too.

Abraham points to this in a recent email message:

Abraham explains the cycle of perpetuating distortion.

If we are born into a “sin” it is this. It is not realizing we are all god in human form.

For now, every person comes into the world through a woman. That process means being raised by those who came before us. Nearly every such event includes people who don’t realize they are god in human form.

It’s not just parents though. It’s teachers too. And neighbors, including other children who gave their clarity up to curry parental approval. It’s religious leaders. Leaders who refuse to believe distortion exists in their teachings. And it’s popular figures who gain fame, but don’t understand where their fame comes from. So they thank “God”.

So the Original Sin is denying our godliness. Then externalizing it in an external God and empowering that figment of our imagination to judge our worthiness.

The conversation between Jane and Maria left Jane and the rest of us deep in thought. It also left Maria feeling empowered, as it should. Her comments were spot on.

What to do about it

Look around. It’s not just Christians living distortions. Much of human civilization rests on them. But we don’t need to. We can live alongside ordinary people, while living extraordinary lives. In doing so, we turn distortions into blessings. Negative emotion we feel while in the vibration of distorted beliefs is meant to prompt us to take action.

Not physical action though. It’s meant to prompt introspection as action. It’s meant to inspire us to seek out our Broader Perspective. Do that and we discover whole new dimensions. Dimensions existing right alongside those based on distortion. It’s like being born again, but for real. Not symbolically.

Christianity’s great tragedies are many. Acts taken in this external “God’s” name are legion. The blessing contained in each one is this turning inward. An introspection that can dispel distortion. It doesn’t happen overnight. That’s why it’s taking humanity so long. Thank god we’re eternal.

But again, none of us need to wait for others to get it. Our Charmed Life awaits us the moment we tap into that Broader Perspective we all are. And when we do, we enter the kingdom of heaven.

No tickets required.

Find out more or better yet, get started on your journey along the Positively Focused Way Contact me.

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How To Create Other People Easily

I know. It sounds like an impossibility. Other people are individual persons. They’re subject to their own whims and desires, right? We can’t create other people! They have free will and all that!

Not so fast…

It’s accurate that others are their own creation. But they’re also a co-creation. We all participate in each others’ becoming. And, as I’ve stressed before, the people we experience aren’t the same people those people actually are. Instead, they’re our creations. Which explains why sometimes people get defensive when others criticize them.

But this is a positive post about how I created another person in my reality. It’s not about being defensive. In fact, it’s really about being joyful. Because what happened was such a delightful, and yet, expected, surprise. And it offers a perfect example of how we create others. Including potential partners.

The setup was awesome

One day this past summer while riding my bike, I came across a celebration. Portlanders – in their weird way – were riding around on old-style roller-skates. Dressed in costumes and carrying signs, these folks were partying over something I didn’t understand.

I did understand they were enjoying themselves, though. That was obvious. As a mobile DJ blasted tunes, the revelers wound their way along a circular path cones outlined on the street.

As I rode past, I noticed a woman on her bicycle. She was tall, with dark hair to her shoulders. She drew me to her with an enthralling quality. So much so it took me aback. The moment happened so quick. I saw her, rode past, then focused on the revelers.

Still, riding away, I chastised myself. Why didn’t I stop and say hi? But in my self-reproach, I realized what I was doing. So, instead of staying in that belief constellation, I decided I would create a future reality where I’d see her again. I therefore casually said to myself “Wouldn’t it be nice to see this person again?”

Then I focused on how pleased I would be to rendezvous with that probable future reality. One where I’d see her again.

Notice: I did this casually, lightly and only for a moment.

You can probably guess what happened next…

We create everything we experience

As creators, we are the only beings in our reality. Everything we experience, therefore, is a reflection of our massive, eternal awareness. We constantly create new realities as we move through our created reality. This gives rise to multiverses science is only recently coming to acknowledge exists.

We create people in our realities as we create everything else. The versions we create are cooperatively created along with the entities those people are in their reality. So it’s not like we’re doing anything against anyone’s will.

What this means is, we have complete control over experiences we have with other people. But usually, we let our observations reign over what we create. Especially when it comes to other people. Rather than creating them deliberately, we let our observations do it. So people occur as individuals totally separate from us. We experience physical reality the same way for the same reasons.

When we realize, however, that we create our reality, including others, we come into tremendous power and leverage. We can literally call people back into our experience, provided those people are willing to have that experience too.

That’s what happened here.

After affirming a future rendezvous with this person, I dropped it. I let the idea go into All That Is, knowing the Universe took hold of it.

Hearing inner guidance

Yesterday, over three months after seeing her, I got the impulse to go for a walk. I had just meditated for an hour and was vibing really high. So I put on warm clothes and headed out.

I knew I was vibing high because of how I felt. But also based on people’s reactions. They were super friendly. Strangers stared at me. When you’re vibing high, you stand out like a sore thumb. People notice you. I greeted those people and they were friendly in return.

As I wound my way back towards home, I started crossing one of the bridges spanning the river bisecting downtown Portland. On the way across I spotted a person coming the opposite direction. She was walking a Corgi. Something about her was very familiar.

About 20 meters away, we locked eyes. I said hi. She smiled and nodded. I felt a jolt of clarity. I recognized a connection between her and I in that moment.

We passed one another. Then my Broader Perspective suggested I stop, so I did. I leaned against the rail and took stock of my inner awareness. Something important happened that I wasn’t catching. But my Broader Perspective’s signals were strong enough to give me pause.

The bridge where I first saw her…

Then the big reveal

I looked back and saw her walking in the distance. A part of me wanted to catch up with her. It wanted to introduce myself and strike up a chat. Another part didn’t. It wanted to go home. It was getting dark. Soon it would be too cold for the clothes I wore.

Screw it, I decided. I wanted to follow through on the first part urging me to go introduce myself. By now she was a good 500 meters away. I turned back and went to catch up with her.

About 50 meters away, for some reason, that’s when she decided to stop and sit on a park bench! It was a perfect set up! I was so pleased this happened because it worked perfectly for me to approach her. When I did, I introduced myself. She invited me to sit and talk.

After talking with her a while, it struck me: This was the girl I saw last summer! In my excitement I told her so, but she didn’t remember. Most people don’t remember much about things they consider insignificant, so that wasn’t surprising. Inside though I knew this was the Universe responding to my request.

Long story short, we talked for 30 minutes. She gave me her number. We’re talking about seeing each other again.

The more we believe, the more we see

It’s so fun meeting people this way. It’s so fun I wonder why people rely on online dating to help them meet people. This is way more fun. The serendipity, the surprise, the unfolding are all wonderful characteristics of cooperating with the Universe to meet people we want to meet.

And it’s so easy.

Moreover, if we’re relaxing into the desire, it happens relatively fast.

But a lot of people don’t believe anything you just read. Or they believe what you just read is just a big coincidence. I’ve had this exact experience happen too many times though. So many I’m convinced this indeed is what’s possible. Not just for me. But for anyone.

We create our realities. That includes other people. The more we believe that, the more we’ll see that bear out in the world we experience. That means we can have anything in our reality: lovers, wonderful rendezvous, and everything else we desire.

It’s just how the Universe is organized.

Try it for yourself. Test the Universe and watch it deliver. Need help with the how? I’m available.

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I Focused On Abundance. Then This Happened!

I’ve said in many past posts the best way to manifest abundance is by appreciating abundance surrounding us already. I practice what I preach. So when this incredible demonstration of abundance happened, I wasn’t surprised.

But I was surprised by the message I got from the experience.

A few clients wonder why I talk about so many little things manifesting in my life. When they do, I tell them I talk about them because they are gateways. Talking about them opens the door to big manifestations. There’s literally no difference in manifestation technique for manifesting something big as manifesting something small.

That’s why I encourage clients build their manifestation skills by starting with small things. Things they don’t have a lot of resistance about. Doing that they get practice. Practice begets proof. Proof that manifesting works. That proof also boosts confidence. It also soothes resistance we have on the bigger things we want.

So manifesting little things helps a lot. The little things develop confidence. They create a lot of proof. That allows clients to trust their Broader Perspective.

The abundance demonstration I manifested proved something more to me. Something became clear in that message. I’ll share that in a moment. First, let’s take a look at what happened.

Abundance amplified

I already live bathed in abundance. While I enjoy a life full of leisure, I also enjoy ample time to practice my spirituality. My client work is an expansion of that. So my “work” isn’t really work. It’s an extension of my practice.

That work is really fun. I love seeing clients develop their Charmed Life. Their unfolding Charmed Life amplifies my own Charmed Life. And, the time I work with clients represents a fraction of the hours in a week. I therefore enjoy an abundance of leisure and fun.

I also experience abundance of other things. An abundance of streaming content exists for me to enjoy. I’ve written about this before. I also enjoy an abundance of literature and magazines to read. Plenty of options exist for me to get exercise. Whether on foot or on my bike, I enjoy an abundance of outdoor paths to take. I’m a great cook. As a result of that, I have a fridge full of wonderful foods, baked goods I’ve made and other delectables I love eating.

Even when I’m sleeping I enjoy abundance. Every night I dream no less than 10 dreams. Some nights I dream well over 15! Most of the time these dreams are super enjoyable. I’ve written about these too.

Of course I also enjoy a seeming unlimited abundance of things to write about. That includes all three of the blogs I write for. That’s another state of abundance I enjoy.

All these instances of abundance I’ve expressed appreciation about nearly every day. As a result, what happened recently was a natural extension of my recognizing how abundant my life is.

The waft of incense sparks a wonderful abundance demonstration

One day, as I appreciated all the states of abundance in my life, I received an impulse. Little did I know that impulse would create the experience that happened. The impulse was to take out my incense burner and enjoy the aroma of my favorite incense, “Nag Champa”.

I hadn’t burned any incense in a while. That’s because I lived with room mates. One of those guys was allergic to incense.

After creating enough financial abundance to live on my own however, I could now enjoy a stick of the Champa. So I took out my burner….

My burner with a stick of Champa in it.

But I realized I didn’t have a lighter or matches! At first I thought to borrow a lighter or match from my neighbor. Then I thought about buying a lighter at the convenience store. But then a better idea came to me: how about manifesting a lighter. That would be cool!

So that’s what I did. I relaxed. Then I imagined enjoying a stick of Champa in my burner. I visualized lighting it with a lighter. Then I tuned my vibration — deeper than thought — to how it would feel to create the experience of manifesting a lighter. I dropped the whole idea then, I left my incense burner in its place and went about my day.

The Champa. My favorite incense.

Amplifying manifestation

Days passed and each one that did I thought about my burner. Some days my eyes would light onto it sitting in its place. Other days my mind would light on my intention to manifest the lighter. In both instances, I would re-create in my vibration the feeling of how it would be to manifest the lighter.

Then one day I went on a walk. I walked along Portland’s Willamette River. Like many waterfronts, Portland’s waterfront is home to many luxury apartment buildings and condos. But all these buildings incorporate a walking path so Portlanders can enjoy walking along the river.

At one point I came to a part of the path bordered by a low-lying retaining wall opposite the riverside. The path curved to the right, then left. I curved right with the path. Then, when I curved left, my eyes involuntarily looked to the right. There, atop the retaining wall rested a white lighter!

The lighter I manifested.

What’s really interesting is, I wasn’t surprised at all it was there. rendezvousing with the lighter just felt like the natural next step of the manifestation process. So when I saw it, I just picked it up, as though it were mine. Which it was!

Little did I know more was coming.

Abundance reveals itself

That night I enjoyed some Champa on my burner. It was a great celebration. But the Universe was just getting started.

I told this story to Avin, a friend of mine. Like me, he takes his connection to All That Is seriously. So he was the perfect person to share the story and amplify my connection to abundance and manifestation. Sharing the story with him felt really great. I felt the amplification taking place.

It was no surprise then that just a week later, I came across yet another lighter. This one was bright green. I rode my bike to an island in the middle of the upper Willamette. It was a beautiful location. I took a meal and my iPad so I could read in the autumn sun. After enjoying all that, I started walking back to my bike.

But I got the impulse to walk to the water’s edge. It was down a path that wound between some rocks. The shore was strewn with large boulders. I sat on one and when I did I looked to the left. There, among the moss, sat the lighter. Since I already manifested one, I had the presence of mind to take a photo:

The second lighter.

I reached down to pick it up. When I did, I got a download from my Broader Perspective. It said “when you focus something into manifestation, the Universe will create an abundance of that which you are manifesting.” As I received that message I also felt shivers on my scalp and spine. I knew this was a divine message! And, it wasn’t just about lighters. It really was about my desire for manifesting financial abundance.

Amplifying the message.

That same week I shared what happened with the second lighter with Avin. I also told him about the message I got. When I did, he got really excited. That’s because he knew what I was talking about.

“There’s no difference in manifesting a small thing and manifesting something big,” He said excitedly. “Whether it’s a lighter or a lottery jackpot, the process is the same!”

We both did a virtual high five because we knew this was exactly what we both were wanting: Evidence that we create our reality. But the Universe wasn’t done with the demonstration!

Over the next two weeks two more lighters manifested in my path, including a black one this very day!

The lighter lineup including the black one that showed up today.

Now, some might say “there are lighters lying around all over the place. People throw them away all the time. Or they lose them.”

That’s true. But I can say for sure during all my walks before setting this intention, I’ve never seen a lighter on my path. They may have been there, but I didn’t see them.

Appreciating existing abundance creates abundant futures

More importantly, what this shows is how much we’re all surrounded by abundance. And when we acknowledge that, we can leverage that abundance to create other forms of abundance.

But if we ignore the natural abundance surrounding us, and instead focus on lack in our lives, then we amplify that. My clients don’t realize how important this demonstration is. They think “they’re just lighters!”

But Avin gets it. So does my Broader Perspective. So does All That Is. This simple demonstration shows me that I am everything I tell my clients they are. We are gods in human form. We’re here to master our inherent creative power. And we’re here to enjoy that path of mastery.

Maybe this story inspires you to achieve your own mastery. If so, I’d be honored to assist in that. Contact me. Let’s see what wonders you manifest.

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When A Client Criticizes My Life, Life Gets Better

Sometimes client’s don’t understand what I’m doing with my life. So they’ll interpret what I’m doing with my life through their own Belief Constellations. That will sound like a criticism. But it’s actually a huge blessing.

What they don’t know is their critique says a lot more about their life than it does mine. And, when they do criticize my life, my life gets better. That’s because I know what criticisms are. And so I use them to amplify my own positive focus. Then my life must reflect that amplified perception back to me.

That’s what happened during a recent client session. It was a wonderful opportunity for me. It was wonderful because the client’s critique revealed something I wanted to know. And knowing that changed my life at a vibrational level. At a practical level too!

Let’s take a look at what I’m talking about.

Missing the point?

The client happens to be one of my advanced practitioners. She’s been at it a while and has made remarkable progress. So it was surprising that she said what she said durning the session. Then again, it wasn’t surprising. Because it was perfect. Perfect for me to gain more understanding of my own Belief Constellation.

Sharing a cool manifestation I recently had triggered my client’s beliefs. The experience for me was spectacular, however. That’s because it showed me I had high calibration about money, which is a subject I’m wanting significant, leading edge manifestations about.

After I shared what happened, the client said, “I’m amazed that so little money made such a difference for you. You must be poor.”

Now, this client has a couple million dollars in the bank. She’s retired. Her house is paid for. I don’t think she has any debt. I, on the other hand, chose a different course. One that challenges status quo beliefs, especially around money. I’ve written extensively about this on this blog.

So when she said this, it surprised me. The point of the story wasn’t my financial situation. Instead, it was about how the manifestation happened.

Is it? Or isn’t it?

Still, her comment lingered with me a few days. I don’t consider myself poor. In fact, I consider my life reflecting an immense state of wealth.

My life is rich with all kinds of abundance. When considering wealth or abundance, there are more kinds of that than the monetary variety. And, the key to experiencing great monetary wealth, is appreciating all the other kinds of wealth we enjoy.

For example, I enjoy an immense amount of abundance. My “work week” is about 8 hours. The rest of the week I’m free to enjoy my life. And enjoy it I do! I enjoy an abundance of creator content from Netflix, Disney+, AppleTV+ and the PBS app. In fact, there’s more content among all these channels than I can consume! How’s that for abundance! And only one of those services, AppleTV+, I pay for. The others I get at no cost to me.

I also enjoy a plethora of literature, which I access at no cost. Through my library, for example, I’m enjoying reading every Hugo Award-winning Science Fiction Novel. Many of those award-winners comprise multiple volumes. Books like Dune, the Murder Bot Diaries and The Broken Earth contain at least three books each! My library also has digital collections of popular magazines. So I enjoy access to literally hundreds of popular magazines. More than I can read each month!

Because I don’t “work” I enjoy ample time for meditation, contemplation, walks, bike rides and writing. Meanwhile, client work income covers all my needs. There’s a roof over my head that’s warm in winter, cool in summer. My fridge is full. Because I’m a vet, I enjoy healthcare at no cost to me through the Veteran’s Administration.

So am I really poor?

The app I used to access thousands of titles free.

Living richly in the now

Thinking about all this abundance I enjoy, I realized something crucial. I realized my client helped me amplify even further wealth I’ve already created. Actual monetary wealth, I mean.

In the Positively Focused Way we talk about the Moment of Becoming (MOB). Understanding what the MOB is makes all the difference in living a Charmed Life.

The MOB is the eternal now. Many New Age teachers talk about living in the now. When they do, they’re referring to the temporal now. They’re now is that moment that currently exists in the physical.

But the temporal now, from a vibrational standpoint is not now. That “now” is the past. It represents manifestED reality. Everything already happened in that “now”. Focusing there, we have no power, because everything already is. The real now is the MOB. There, everything is becoming or manifestING. The MOB is the eternal, true now, ever rich with swirling potential. Potential being orchestrated by cooperative elements. Elements taking their direction from focused beings. Beings like you and me.

We live in the MOB, but we temporarily focus in the manifestED reality. In the latter focus, we identify what we want from what we don’t want. That’s the purpose of manifestED reality. But the MOB is the true seat of power. When we communicate our desires from the MOB our Broader Perspective and All That Is takes our communication and orchestrates all the cooperative components so our desires fulfill themselves.

In THAT now, the real now, the MOB, I know my financial abundance is being orchestrated. I often feel it happening. So my state of being, my experience of life NOW, is that I’m rich beyond measure! Meanwhile, I get to enjoy manifestED reality, which includes a lot of abundance already. So much it can kinda get overwhelming…

Realizing the benefit

So why would I have attracted an experience where a client called me “poor”? I came to the answer a day after the session. The answer is really cool.

Everyone in our lives are reflections of our thoughts and beliefs. Every “thing” is too. But people particularly offer accurate reflections of what we have going on in our Belief Constellations. So when a person acts mean to us, that person reflects something active in our Belief Constellation that attracted that reflection. It’s something we want to look at and do something about.

Other people, therefore, constantly offer us compelling gifts: opportunities to clean up vibrations we may not know we have going on. So my client calling me “poor” was a blessing. A blessing I received fully.

In the last few years I’ve been soothing beliefs impacting my ability to manifest monetary abundance. I’ve produced excellent evidence that soothing is working. My client calling me “poor” then, indicated a wobble still in my vibration. One I want to smooth out. I had been doing so well manifesting money in moderate levels I hadn’t realized this vibration still existed in me.

Realizing this, I became excited. I reveled in the realization. That’s why I realized the benefit my client gave me was immense.

The rest of the week I buzzed around like a happy bee. I thought over and over about our exchange, appreciating the insight my “reflector” gave me.

The next session I shared with her my experience. I did that to further amplify my own appreciation. This post is part of that amplification. It was a wonderful unfolding.

A wonderful reminder of what I already get.

The journey is the gift

What’s really interesting is, when I didn’t resist her calling me poor in the session, she also shared that see sees me as a millionaire hundreds of times over. Even a billionaire, she said.

That wasn’t coincidence. For I’m focusing into my reality me being a centi-millionaire, even a billionaire. And realizing that outrageous fortune by doing nothing other than focusing my vibration. The fact that she went from calling me “poor” to sharing that she saw me as a billionaire was an accurate reflection, therefore. One that included the combination of my vibrational intent and beliefs I still have that aren’t so compatible with that.

The entire experience was stellar. And this is the thing: every experience humans have are like this one. In every moment, we’re in the bright light of unfolding desire. And, every desire is guaranteed to be realized by us. As soon as we line up with frequencies which are vibrational versions of the manifestation we desire.

Our entire life as gods in human form is about exactly this. It’s about enjoying every delicious moment of expansion. The more we find joy in the journey, the more joyful the journey gets. The better life gets.

I appreciate my client so much for the complete reflection she offered to me. Such a confirmation it was! A confirmation of all that I’m enjoying on this journey into my greater expansion!

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Here’s Definite Proof Manifestation Is A Thing

Photo by Frank Alarcon on Unsplash

We are literally surrounded by evidence proving manifesting is a thing. Why so many think it’s not real astounds me.

Every man-made object first started as vibration which turned into an “idea”. An idea is a thought. Such ideas usually come in a burst of inspiration. “Inspiration” is communication from one’s Broader Perspective.

Then a person acts to make the idea real. These actions come from impulses to act. Impulses come from one’s Broader Perspective.

After a time, the object is “manifest”. It becomes real.

It’s the same in nature. Things manifest first as vibration. The consciousness in nature translates that to a thought. Then it acts on its impulses until manifestation happens.

Our entire physical world is manifested evidence that thoughts turn to things. Why people deny it baffles…

….Then again, beliefs create reality. So if one believes manifestation is fake, the Universe will create circumstances proving that belief “true”. Meanwhile, it’s proving other beliefs “true” too.

In fact, there’s so much room in the Universe, any belief held long enough will assemble cooperative components proving it true. That’s how the universe expands: vibration becomes thoughts. Those thoughts become things.

So a person claiming “you create your reality” is false proves it true. They create a reality for themselves wherein the universe gives them proof that they don’t create their reality!

But your reality needn’t be theirs…

Beliefs create experience

It’s no wonder then when a client talked about her sister, we discovered more “truth”. The client, who I’ll call Mary, has a sister I’ll call Jane. Jane celebrated the birth of her child recently. That’s cool. But what’s even cooler was Mary’s experience.

According to Mary, Jane is kind of a worry-wart. She believes in preparing for all contingencies. When it came to having her child, therefore, Jane believed it a better choice to give birth in a hospital. When she did give birth, complications resulted which necessitated a cesarean intervention.

A week after the birth, Jane re-admitted herself to the hospital with post-birth complications. She’s been in the hospital for a week now.

In our session, Mary asked if all this resulted from Jane’s belief in preparing for the worst. Yes, I told her. But also, it represented a manifestation of Mary’s beliefs about Jane. How else could Mary have had the experience of seeing Jane go through this?

We all create our realities. We do that through our beliefs about reality. That includes beliefs about ourselves and beliefs about others. However, something very important plays a role too. That is the dynamic of co-creation.

Collapsing into another’s momentum

Each person experiences others they meet as versions they create. No two people experience a third in the same way, just as no two people experience the same reality. Even when two people experience the same situation, they each have their version of that situation. There is no shared reality.

That’s true for people in our lives too.

When it comes to experiencing others, belief momentum is everything. Whether you experience someone the way they experience themselves or the way you experience them depends on this belief momentum. For example, Mary and Jane are related and Jane is older. Mary’s experience of Jane is almost entirely the result of Jane’s momentum. In other words, Mary’s beliefs about Jane largely come based on her observation of her. That seems normal, right?

After all, we all get to know people based on what we observe, then conclude based on those observations. But we can also create versions of others independent of our observations. In the same way we can create whole new realities independent of what we observe of reality. In that same way, we also can create whole new versions of other people.

Usually however, we “collapse into the momentum” of another’s belief momentum. We allow ourselves to accept the emanation of thoughts and beliefs people have about themselves. That’s what happened between Mary and Jane.

These days, Mary is questioning all her beliefs. That’s having her see things she hadn’t before. Such as realizing that her sibling’s birth complications weren’t random situations. Instead, they sprang from her beliefs. Mary’s beliefs too.

The purpose of life

This offered Mary tremendous evidence supporting her Positively Focused practice. Evidence proving for Mary that she is literally surrounded by things made real by her through her beliefs.

How else could it be? Who else is creating her reality? No one else is creating your reality either, other than you.

What that means is, we all possess tremendous potential. Potential to create really daring and satisfying realities. Realities offering whole new experiences. For us, for the world and for the Universe.

That’s the reason we come into the world in the first place. We come to participate in universal expansion. Doing so, we expand too. And, through our example, we encourage expansion in others.

It’s the Great Game that is life experience. Expansion, joy and growth is its purpose. What could be a better purpose than that?

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Thank “God” We’re All Eternal. That Makes Life Awesome.

The Creation of Adam by Michelangelo (Public Domain)

This week in the Positively Focused advanced practice group session, clients and I came upon a surprising view of humanity. It gave me a greater level of appreciation that we’re all eternal.

The conversation started with a client’s question about being a foster parent. Often, foster children she takes in come from difficult situations. Some worse than others. The client shared how she encourages these kids to “buck up”. She said she instills a sense of responsibility, of them needing to get up each day and overcome their laziness.

It was an awesome prompt. One that clarified for all of us how humanity perpetuates civilization-wide beliefs. Beliefs that discourage connection with our eternal selves. Beliefs perpetuating the world we see around us.

It’s a miracle humanity thrives the way it does while holding such beliefs. Especially given how unconscious we are of the power of our eternal nature. Without that eternal nature, humanity would have burned out long, long ago.

That’s why I thank “God” we’re all eternal. Of course, we’re all god in human form. So I’m actually thanking you, me and everything else. That includes animals, insects, plants and even “inanimate” matter, all of which is quite conscious and also god in physical form.

We can express our creative powers…now

Our divine natures is what makes humanity thrive. Indeed, it’s so powerful, it creates from the worst of us, the best of us. It creates the very futures later generations enjoy. Which explains why civilization improves generation after generation. Our worst moments, mass shootings or war, for example, are seeds of those futures.

But we don’t need tragedies creating better futures. Better futures can come out of joy too. Humanity still has a way to go to understand this. That’s ok, though because we’re all eternal. We have plenty of time to learn this.

But you and I can enjoy better futures today. We don’t need to wait generations. Nor need we suffer through tragedies. Human experience is recursive. What happens at macro levels, happens in identical ways at micro levels. So we individuals can create improvement for ourselves. Even while those around us struggle.

In doing so, we become shining examples of what’s possible. That’s the altruistic aspect of learning we’re god in human form. By transforming our lives into the Charmed Life, we live as examples for others. Then others, inspired by our example, strive for their Charmed Life.

Because we’re god in human form, we enjoy eternity and invincibility. There’s no doubt about this. Evidence is everywhere. But seeing it requires looking where the evidence is. That’s the conundrum.

Because if we don’t believe we’re eternal, that evidence escapes us. It’s there. We just don’t see it. To see it, we must believe it’s there. That’s because, as gods in human form, our creativity gets expressed in how we think and believe.

We are the “gods” creating life.

We forget…on purpose

When we come to earth, we come from some place. In that place we know our eternal nature. Of course, entering earthly existence requires blanking out that knowing. It also requires blanking out knowledge that earthly existence is as insubstantial as any other created reality. How else are we to take it as serious if we don’t do that? We must feel life on earth as real, all it’s dangers, all its tragedies, to enjoy the purpose of putting ourselves in the experience in the first place. So we forget our eternal status and accept earthly existence as all there is.

We needn’t KEEP forgetting though. Indeed lots of clues exist on earth to remind us what we forgot on purpose. This post, for example, is a clue.

Many enlightened people live alongside us. They offer clues too. Most of those folks aren’t famous. And they don’t push what they know on us. They remind us only when we’re ready.

Most of humanity, however, never gets ready. So they miss the clues. They see those enlightened people…and ignore them. Meanwhile, their insecurity focuses them on believing and doing what they’ve been told to believe and do. What they’ve been told then is what guides people for much of their lives, if not all of it.

Perpetuating the mediocre

The trick of human existence is a lot of us get stuck in the forgetting. Thank god we’re eternal though. That gives us all the time in the world to figure out the trick. Still, getting stuck believing earthly life is all there is becomes practically problematic. It causes us to miss life’s incredible offerings. Instead, we focus on life’s challenges. Doing so, we foster insecurity within us.

Then, as parents, we pass that insecurity on to the next generation. That generation does the same. We pass on bogus beliefs about life. But those beliefs, like all beliefs, create reality consistent with them. So it seems true that we should, for example, work hard. It seems true that we shouldn’t be lazy. It seems true people should earn a living. It’s just a fact that things aren’t free. Some are lucky, but I’m not, we think. There are rich and famous people, but I can’t be one. Etcetera, Etcetera.

Life then becomes mediocre for most of humanity. We enjoy it because that’s our nature. People will adapt to nearly any condition.

But we’re not here to adapt! We’re here to cause reality to adapt to our desires! After all, even when we adapt, that’s what’s happening. We believe “this is the way life is”. That belief creates reality consistent with it. Then we live in that reality, accepting it’s “true” while not knowing we created it. Not knowing life can be different.

In this way we perpetuate mediocre. We teach it to our kids. Then they do the same to their children. Then human civilization gets better, but at a much slower pace than it could.

But we individuals, at any time, can do life differently. We can remember!

What are we perpetuating?

Our purpose here isn’t to eke out a ho-hum life, while numbing ourselves with stimulants and depressives. Each of us is here to create something that’s never been created before. And when we do that, life becomes awesome.

But getting into human earthly existence requires coming through humans who precede us. So when we get here, having forgotten, through other humans who also have forgotten, there’s no one to remind us when we most need it: when we’re most impressionable. Nearly all parents are “bad” parents in this respect.

But how long must we keep believing what we were told? The answer: as long as we refuse to question what we believe. As long as we don’t question, we teach our kids as we were taught. We may offer some improved lessons. But the main ones remain: life is scary. People, especially strangers, are too. You have to earn your worthiness. You must please others. Money doesn’t grow on trees!

They say money doesn’t grow on trees. That’s because those folks don’t believe it does. (Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash)

Well, yes, money does grow on trees. It does if you believe it does. What does this money aphorism mean? It means money isn’t freely available, right?

Rubbish! Money IS freely available. The world is awash in it! And there are some people getting it with no effort at all. It isn’t luck. It isn’t coincidence. Their beliefs make is so, as Shakespeare once wrote.

We create reality individually and collectively. That’s it. When we learn to see how we do that, we can make money grow on trees. We can fill our lives with love. Life can be a rambunctious adventure. There are no limits!

Getting it means testing it

Christian teaching admonishes us to not test God. Have faith instead, it says. The Positively Focused approach says the opposite. It says “test the hell out of it!”. It says “test your creative powers! Watch how powerful you are. Prove to yourself you stand at the center of the Universe and watch the Universe bend to your commands, because it does!”

In time, evidence from your tests will grow so voluminous, faith isn’t necessary. By testing it, you come to believe it. And when you believe it, you’ve got it. You then step into the world as a newborn. You’re born again. Not in the Christian sense, but in the sense of remembering your eternal nature.

That’s the bliss of the Charmed Life. We live as God in Human form, creating life as we live it. Enjoying and reveling in our creation as the Christian God did. We’re proud and appreciative. And we see others as eternal too. Even as they struggle.

Abraham says we can’t get sick enough to help someone get well. Nor can we get poor enough to help someone get rich. In the same way, we can’t convince others they are god in human form.

But we can show them.

We show them through our joyful example. That example doesn’t come overnight. But as it does, it becomes obvious. And along the way, we’re having fun.

Having fun. That’s life’s purpose.

Still with me? Then come on, let’s have fun together. Become a Positively Focused client and discover your eternal nature. Contact me, let’s get you started.

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A Practical Example Of How Thoughts Create Life Experience

Editors note: Many links in this post connect to my other blog, The Transamorous Network, where I offer Positively Focused material, oriented to the transgender community. This story also describes an experience a Transamorous network client experienced recently. It’s being shared here due to its revelatory nature.

Often clients offer great examples of how our thoughts create our reality. That happened just today (at the time of writing this).

This client’s experience also shows how faithfully our beliefs play out in our behaviors. In the behavior of others too. Even so, these often are invisible to us. Because we can’t see them, we can’t do anything about them. So having them show up in our reality is the best way to figure out what our beliefs are.

“Reality” includes our own behaviors. So in addition to how we feel and what we think, another great way of discovering beliefs creating our reality is by looking at how we act. And how people act toward us.

By doing that, we can deliberately create paths to everything we want, with very little effort on our part. This is the basis from which I work with clients. On the way to getting all they want, clients become empowered. They also become happy. This client is a perfect example.

Let’s take a look at the wonderful experience she offered.

Creating her dating reality as she goes

My client is using the Positively Focused practice to improve her dating life, among other things. Recently she stopped using online dating. I don’t encourage anyone to use online dating. Here’s why.

Besides, it’s just more fun meeting your perfect match through serendipity.

Anyway, the client, who I’ll call Sarah, now has several men she’s seeing. Most of them are casual. And a few of them involve actually going out on dates. That’s great because Sarah, who is transgender, has very strong beliefs about men not being willing to take her out. But because she’s changed those beliefs, men now take her out. Go figure!

One guy I’ll call Cleo, wants to take Sarah out. But he’s scared. He still resists his trans-attraction. So, he’ll text Sarah, telling her he wants to see her. Or text her about taking her out. Sarah likes getting these messages. But it irks her that he won’t followup. She wants him to take her out. He doesn’t though.

I explained to Sarah that Cleo represents a stepping stone along the path to the relationship she ultimately wants and will have. I also said the more she focuses on positive aspects of what Cleo offers, the more she becomes a match to that relationship she ultimately wants.

Sarah’s working on this. Some days she’s better than others. But what happened in today’s session was instructive. First some more context.

A relationship to beat all relationships

Sarah loves a man she really wants to be with. She and this guy, I’ll call Paul, have talked on and off for years. Paul really likes Sarah. But he too fears his trans-attraction. Yet he keeps coming back to Sarah. Sarah really wants to be with Paul. I assure her constantly she can be with Paul and will be. Once she becomes fully a match to him and vice versa.

But beliefs Sarah keeps active about relationships, about Paul and about herself keep her from becoming a match. I am working with Sarah to identify and soothe these beliefs.

One belief she has is, if she told Paul about her dating experiences, Paul will get angry at her and cut her off. Even though Paul has consistently told Sarah she should date other people. I told Sarah she should share what she does with these other men. Not to manipulate Paul, but, instead to authentically express what she’s doing. Which is something Paul already encouraged her to do. Paul would appreciate knowing she took his advice, I said. 

So Sarah really wants to be with Paul. Paul likes Sarah a lot and wants that too. But both keep beliefs active that keep the two apart. And Sarah won’t communicate authentically with Paul because she’s afraid she’ll lose him.

Ok, that’s the context. Now, back to Cleo. Keep in mind what you just read. See if you can put the pieces together about beliefs and how they created the reality you’re about to read before I explain it in the section after this next one.

Perfect manifestation played in real time

One day Cleo texted her. He complained that a lot of older cis-women were coming on to him. He said he had lots of opportunity to fuck these women. But he didn’t know what he wanted to do. Sarah told him he should enjoy these women. He should have sex with them, she said, if he wants to and thinks he will enjoy it.

The more a person can enjoy life, the more life will yield to them what they want. That’s the general rule of the Positively Focused approach. So I applauded Sarah for telling Cleo this. It’s also spot-on guidance.

A couple days later, Cleo texted Sarah. He shared news that he did actually follow Sarah’s advice. He said he had a great time doing it. Remember, Sarah encouraged Cleo to have sex with these women.

Here’s what happened next, in Sarah’s own words:

“After he told me,” she said. “I got mad. Then I picked a big, giant fight with him. He got really angry with me. Then he stopped talking to me.”

Can you see what happened here? It’s a perfect manifestation of Sarah’s beliefs about Paul and her playing out, in real time, in her behavior, and Cleo’s!

The evidence: plain as day

Sarah is playing out her belief about being authentic with Paul, with Cleo. Here Cleo is, doing what I suggest Sarah could do with Paul. Cleo is telling Sarah authentically what’s happening in his life. Notice how Sarah first responds to his authentic sharing. She’s empathetic. She offers really good advice: do what pleases you.

But then, when Cleo takes Sarah’s advice, Sarah gets pissed. We could replace Cleo with Sarah in this example, and Sarah with Paul. Doing that, we can see how Sarah is creating a reality revealing her beliefs about Paul and her. They’re playing out in perfect view for all to see.

If I tell Paul what I’m doing with these other men, he’ll get mad and stop talking with me. That’s Sarah’s belief about her relationship with Paul. And that belief has Sarah feeling fear. Even so, when Cleo does what Sarah’s afraid to do with Paul, at first, Sarah is compassionate. She offers great advice. But when he follows it, Sarah gets mad and picks a fight – exactly what she’s afraid Paul will do if she shares authentically what she’s up to.

What’s interesting though is the combination of realities playing out. At first Sarah is interested and compassionate. This tells Sarah that Paul would be interested and compassionate should she communicate authentically to him. But her fear dominates her behavior as a manifestation. So she gets mad at Cleo after first being interested and compassionate. That tells her she will match a version of Paul who equally gets mad. Unless she changes her beliefs.

The evidence here is as plain as day. It’s playing itself out in Sarah’s reality. Both in Cleo’s actions and her behavior too.

Power and leverage unveiled

This is the kind of thing we uncover in Positively Focused sessions. It’s the gold daily life contains about everything we want to know. Everything that will get us all the love we want. Or all the money we want. Or whatever else we want. Definitely all the happiness we can handle. And then some.

As we can see, physical reality is very sophisticated. The uninitiated have a hard time figuring all this out. That’s because we have a literal constellation of beliefs creating our ongoing, unfolding reality. A reality that includes behaviors of others. Others we create as specific versions for ourselves. As well as our own behaviors. Behaviors we’re often blind to.

All of this gives us clues about our inner-understanding. Our inner world constantly projects outward. It creates our realities all day, every day. Which is why a Positively Focused practice offers so much value. Through the practice, clients learn how to read the clues.

Just because we can’t see all this doesn’t mean it’s not happening. It is happening. And when a person starts seeing life through this lens, they come into incredible power and leverage. Power and leverage allowing one to deliberately create any reality they want. Including one in which anyone can enjoy anything they want.

Maybe you’re ready to get your hands on that power and leverage. Send me a note. Let’s get you started.