How To Get All You Love Without Even Trying

Joshua Sortino All You Want FB blog
Photo: Joshua Sortino

A key habit leading to all someone could possibly want, aka a dream life, aka all one could love, is the ability to hear, then immediately follow one’s intuition.

Develop this habit. You will, without fail, live an effortless life.

Intuition gets a bad rap. That’s because you usually can’t distinguish it from random voices born of sloppy thinking.

Given too much attention these voices mask one’s “still quiet voice”. One’s unerring intuition.

Intuition is unerring.

It always leads you to what you’re wanting.

A example from Perry’s life some time ago illustrates.

· · ·

One day Perry wanted to meet people eligible for a project. He wanted to meet positive, conversational, open and kind people.  People unafraid of talk with strangers.

That’s how much he prepared. He thought casually about who he wanted to meet, then let the thoughts go. His daily habit framework practice of tuning into his intuition already produced enough evidence indicating trust in the process works. Results he wanted already happened in the timeless, spaceless “moment of becoming”.

Now it was time to rendezvous with his desire.

One morning, after documenting dreams for later examination, he prepped for a trip to the optometrist. Be broke his glasses a few days ago. They needed fixing.

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The broken glasses that began the journey (Photo: Perry)

Perry’s intuition first told him to go straight to the place he bought his glasses.  It is about seven miles away. He had success with repairs before there. As he was about to leave, he got another intuitive message. It said go to this eyeglass place near his house.

Your intuition will rarely give you straight-line instructions. Leading you directly to what you want is never fun. A meandering path is more fun. That’s because on the way to what you’re wanting, your intuition shows you things you’ve forgotten you asked for. There are a lot of those things.

Often a person thinks their intuition errs when they follow it and don’t get what they want. Two things are happening when that happens. One, the person isn’t aware they are getting more than just the thing they want. So they think the journey’s a waste. Second, the lack of awareness causes them to quit too soon. They don’t follow their intuitional cues far enough.  So they don’t get to the “big surprise” that is receiving what they want.

Perry knows following his cues to the end is key.

How do you know when you’ve gotten to the end? If you haven’t gotten what you want, you aren’t there.

· · ·

Other people’s desires and opportunities are part of the mix too. You are co-creating physical reality with everything else in it. Perry knows this too.

So it was no surprise when, the very next moment after receiving an intuition to go to the shop nearby, his wife said, “Aren’t you going to go to [the eyeglass] shop right by our house before you drive all that way to [the other repair shop]?”

Perry took what his wife was saying as confirmation of his intuition’s instructions. He drove to the nearby shop.

It was closed.

Perry took a picture to send to his wife. Often Bridget will make a suggestion that is not very helpful. She means well. But she also harbors a belief that people need her. She gets a lot of self-worth from that belief.

The problem is, often she acts from that belief, giving suggestions that are unhelpful. She’d be better off letting people figure things out on their own. The people would be better off too.

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Next, Perry drove across town. That place was open. On the way traffic was nonexistent, which is unusual for the time of day on a weekday.

Unbeknownst to humans (and rarely acknowledged by even those “new age” believers) a delay such as the one Perry took to go to the nearby shop is purposeful. Delays sometimes allow circumstances to line up in optimally-fulfilling ways.

Everyone’s intuition operates the same. It’s another reason people mistake intuition as being wrong: they’re expecting straight-line-to-results and that is never the case.

Perry didn’t consciously acknowledge this. But had the delay, and what happened next not happened, the rest of the day would not have happened the way it had.

He enjoyed the drive across town. It was a hot summer mid-day, free of rush-hour traffic. Driving with the sunroof open and the windows down contributed to Perry’s already joyful mood.

When he arrived at the repair shop, Perry got “rock star parking”: directly in front of the shop’s front door. It was the only parking spot open on the busy street.

He went inside and played around while waiting for his turn. A pretty, effusively-happy, and helpful blonde greeted him. Their pleasant exchange was one more indicator of the day Perry was having.

After examining Perry’s broken glasses, the woman told him she thought they could be fixed. Perry was happy to hear that. But then, the other person behind the counter said Perry had a special kind of glasses. He would need to go through the shop where he bought them to have them fixed.

Perry mentioned the name of the shop that sold him his glasses. The blonde woman look up the closest branch. It was in a popular part of town. Not that far in fact.

But just far enough to enjoy another sunlit drive.

Photo: Justin Luebke

In no hurry, Perry arrived and the desk person welcomed him. Perry, feeling equally warm, explained his day so far. Then showed the person his glasses. The desk person examined his glasses. Then told Perry he would contact him the next day.

After that, Perry decided to head to a coffee shop. He loves working out of the house. Two were nearby. For a moment, he thought through his options. Then felt for what his intuition wanted him to do.

He drove to that coffee shop. Parked, went inside and ordered a specialty drink, which the barista prepared expertly. It cost $4.

When he turned to find a place to sit, a woman looked up just as he looked her way. They locked eyes and she smiled at each other.

“I’m going to sit next to you because of that great smile you gave me,” Perry said boldly. It was exactly the thing to say, offered by his intuition.

The woman welcomed him over.

“I love talking to strangers,” he said. “Don’t worry, I’m not trying to pick you up or anything.”

At that, the woman launched into a lengthy explanation. She described how few people are willing to make eye contact or even smile to strangers anymore.

“So I make a point of doing that,” She said. “It’s fun talking with people.”

Now here’s what we wrote at the beginning of this story:

…Perry wanted to meet … positive, conversational, open and kind people.  People unafraid of talk with strangers.

Perry and this person, whose name is Joy (we’re not making that up!), had a long wonderful conversation about a number of things. As they were talking, another woman sat down next to Perry and settled in.

This person, Suzanne, soon joined the conversation. Turned out Suzanne was new to town. Both Suzanne and Joy were looking for new career opportunities. Exactly the kind of people Perry wanted to meet.

Could it be more obvious how this day unfolded?

Perry set up 1:1 appointments with both women.

But that’s not the end of the story.

As Perry later left the coffee shop and arrived at his car, four one-dollar bills blew into his feet. Four dollars: exactly how much his drink cost.

How’s that for evidence the world is on your side?

This is not an uncommon day for Perry. Life is supposed to be like this for everyone. All that is necessary is a practice which reduces stories having you believe such experiences are random, coincident events, or that they can’t happen as a consistent feature of your life.

In time evidence big and small will be so plentiful proving to you the universe is friendly to your desires and wants you to fulfill them, you’ll start seeing the world different too.

When you do, you’re on your way.

The Only Leverage You Need To Have All You Want

Rodolfo Clix Leverage FB BLOG
Photo: Rodolfo Clix

Leverage that comes from your broader perspective makes living sweet.

When someone discovers how invincible they are, it’s impossible to live any other way.  And, there’s no ceiling limiting how great life can get.

By leverage we mean having life do things for you, instead of you having to do it all yourself.

That doesn’t mean sitting in bed thinking positive thoughts will bring everything to you. You’re in a physical reality.

You have to do things.

It does mean lightly indicating what you’re wanting. Then watching as life puts the pieces together. At the right time along the way, you get an impulse to act. Following that impulse is your “doing”. Your doing doesn’t make anything happen. It’s all happened already.

Your “doing” puts you in the perfect place, in time and space to receive what you’re wanting.

Summarizing: figure out what you want. Life will coordinate circumstances. When they’re ready, life will tell you to act. Your acting doesn’t make it happen. The impulse to act is an invitation. It’s saying: “do this now”.  Your action puts you in the right place at the right time. There, you receive what you want.

Life always works this way for everyone. So why doesn’t it look that way for everyone? Why doen’t it occur that way for everyone?

Three reasons:

  1. Hardly anyone realizes they have broader perspective.
  2. Hardly anyone does what they need to to see life through that.
  3. Too many people try to make what they want happen, instead of letting life do it.
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Photo: Cristian Newman

So what is this “broader perspective”?

“Human” is a projection. It’s an experience you are projecting into yourself. The experience is the best way to know what and who you are. That’s why you’re experiencing this experience.

Everything in your experience is also your projection. You perceive into existence other people, circumstances, even your body. Existence looks like an “objective reality”. So much so, you think it’s separate from you. That’s because you organize your physical senses too. That way they experience the projection as objective, separate reality.

Your senses can’t see the projection any other way.

Your senses are part of the projection.

“Behind” your physical senses, you have another set of “senses”. These are not constrained like your physical senses. Yet, they correspond with them. You see, hear, smell, taste, touch through these “nonphysical” senses. The same way you do with physical ones.

Seeing life through these senses, is “broader perspective”.

The more you see life through them, the more curious you get. You start understanding how much creative control you have.

Ever had a dream feel real as f*ck? How could it have “felt” real, if you didn’t have senses capable of perceiving in that nonphysical place? Dreams are not hallucinations. They’re as real as you and us.

Science claims dreams are “all in the head”. Science is a big stumbling block. It prevents people from having real leverage.

Science is real though. It has validity and purpose. But science is in no way the final arbiter of what is “real” and “not real”. And, nonphysical reality informs science like it does with everything else in physical reality.

If it weren’t for nonphysical reality, there would be no physical reality. And no science.

A person deciding for themselves what is real and not real finds they are the final arbiter. And of course they are. They are the ones doing the projecting.

· · ·

A projector has to have a place to stand and also something on which to project. It has to have something to project too.

You “stand” in the spacious now. The spacious now is outside time and space. It is not bound by what science calls “the laws of physics”.

Neither are you, by the way. Your body is. You’re not.

Your body is part of the projection. You are broader perspective.

We also call the spacious present “nonphysical” reality. Nonphysical reality is “where” you, the projector stands.

You are also the projector screen. So all that you experience is “inside you”. That’s why you can perceive it. There is a lot “outside” you too, out there in nonphysical reality. But it is irrelevant to you, until you expand yourself enough so that it becomes you. And thus relevant.

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So you’re the projector and you’re also the projector screen. What is it you are projecting? Everything that you are. Primarily you are projecting a consistent stream of values comprising your essence. You fulfilled some. Others are in the process. Many more your birth nearly every moment.

Everything that is you is being projected by you out into your real life. It is being projected into you and perceived through physical senses you organized. That way it looks separate from you. That way you can observe it “objectively”.

Until you’re done doing that.

All this is happening so you can become more self-aware.

Realizing this is also “broader perspective”. It is one of many insights that come with seeing your life extraordinarily. When you realize your broader perspective, insights like this come naturally. These insights aren’t available when you don’t have broader perspective.

The broader perspective you have, the more clearly you perceive your projection. The more of your projection you perceive, the greater understanding you have.

Understanding of what? Everything.

Put differently: the less you know about what you’re doing in this thing called life, the more “ordinary” life looks.

Joy, ecstasy, wonder, freedom, invincibility result from living from broader perspective.

Life is extraordinary.

It feels that way when you “see” differently.

“Broader perspective” lets you see “all” that you are. But it’s limited by what you’re capable of realizing. The more you live your life from this perspective though, the more capable you become.

This has immense practical benefit.

So much so, it’s a wonder so few live this way. Broader perspective’s leverage is so great, it looks magical.

But it’s not. We call this leverage.

It’s how life is for one who gets it.

Take Perry’s recent experience.

· · ·

Now, Perry has been at this for many years. He is getting better and better seeing life through his broader perspective. So he sees more examples of extraordinary happening, nearly every moment.

Everything is possible in and through your broader perspective.

Perry’s ambitions reflect that statement.

One of Perry’s ambitions is evolving capitalism out of existence. He has realized better system for resource management and distribution. He knows it’s possible because he’s seen it.

So he focuses his energies in this direction.

One way this energy focus shows up is hiring talent through the “gig economy”. Perry met a wonderful animation team on an online gig economy match-making service. This team already created two animated videos describing Perry’s economic idea. He has plans for ten more videos. Perry wants this same team to create the other eight.

Like many online services, this gig economy match-making service takes a part of the sales that happen on its website. They also discourage members from offering and accepting payments “off community.”

Paying someone else for brokering an initial transaction is great. But when you’re planning to buy a lot more, that transaction fee can add up. Especially at $1500 a video on average.

So one day this Spring, while contemplating his animated video library, Perry got an idea.

“It would be great,” It said. “If I could work with this team directly rather than through this community. I’d save all those fees on the next 10 videos.”

“And,” The thought continued. “Since I’m wanting to do so many, maybe the team would give me a volume discount!”

Perry loved this idea. It came and went in a flash. Three minutes tops. He felt good thinking it. He didn’t think it was impossible. But he knew the community discouraged this. So, instead of taking action, he sat with it.

Fast forward to October. Perry’s ramping up the next videos, preparing the scripts. One day he gets the impulse to send a message to this team via the community. Here’s the conversation that happened:

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Perry had no idea what the guy was going to send via email. But Perry sent his email address. The next day the following conversation happened via email:

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Of course this was a great turn out. But notice what happened here. Perry didn’t have to do anything to get what he wanted. Life coordinated it all for him. Then sent an impulse when it was all ready.

This is leverage.

It is available to everyone.

· · ·

If you dismiss this as “coincidence” you’re doing yourself a disservice. Dismissing it as coincidence denies (for you) your broader perspective. In denying your broader perspective, you obscure your perception. You relegate yourself to having to make it all happen.

That sucks.

We want to write “you cut yourself off from your broader perspective”, but that can’t happen. Your broader perspective is you. You can’t cut “you” off.

But you can create a reality wherein you do not perceive your broader perspective as real. That’s what you do when you dismiss such events as “coincidence” or “random chance”, or “confirmation bias”. When you do dismiss them, you get a life experience reflecting your dismissals. In other words, life looks comprised of events that seem random or chance or coincidence. Not within your control.

But it’s all in your control. The moment you adopt your broader perspective.

Like Perry.

And remember: there is no upper limit on anything about this.

Life can be, a continual, moment-by-moment experience of getting everything you want.

Perry is getting there. He has done this work for a long time. Today he is seeing events like this happening all over. But he’s wanting to get to the point where he’s seeing them continuously. 

He’s close.

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Photo: Gaetan-Meyer

Anything you can think of wanting you can have. You are creating your life experience. That’s the purpose of it. To realize how much say you have.

There is only one relationship giving you everything you want. The relationship between your ordinary conscious experience and your broader perspective. Attend to that. Everything else is attended to for you.

Gradually realizing that you are invincible is intoxicating. Realizing you can have anything you want is intoxicating. Realizing you can be anything, or do anything frees you from limitation.

But when you do do whatever you want, when you do get what you want, and when you become what you want….that just can’t be described in words.

The leverage you have in your life is immense.

Don’t you think it’s time you start using it?

How To Get What You Want From Your Relationship

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Photo: David Thomaz

It’s easy sometimes to get frustrated in a marriage or partnership.

Relationships can also be a perfect blend of constant wonder and delight.

Which one you get –– frustration or wonder and delight –– depends on your perception.

Often, disagreements and frustration, for both parties, happen when one person tries to control the other’s behavior. In most cases “trying to control” is not an intentional, malicious act. The person doesn’t want to control the other. They just want to be happy.

Controlling behavior happens when a person feels insecure. They tries to soothe the insecurity through controlling their partner’s actions.  Inadequacy, feeling out of control, insecure, shame, embarrassment, or righteous indignation can all trigger “controlling” behavior.

The person tries to control conditions they think are causing the feeling. “Conditions” usually mean their partner.

The problem is conditions aren’t triggering the emotions. Their beliefs about the conditions are.

You’ll notice when a controlling person succeeds, they aren’t happy for long. The controlled person isn’t either. So controlling spawns future dissatisfaction leading to…you guessed it: more need to control.

It’s a vicious cycle. A cycle that leaves people feeling alone. Even in relationship.

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A negative vicious cycle spirals out of control in some relationships. Leaving people feeling alone. Even though they’re not. (photo: Thought Catalog)

Trying to control another person’s behavior so you feel better backfires sooner or later. Sometimes a lot sooner.

People aren’t stupid. They can tell when a person is trying to control them.

Put more accurately, every human knows they came to express inherent freedoms. No one wants someone telling them what to do.

Including children.

Including very young children.

But especially grown mature, aware people.

· · ·

The easiest way to get what you want in relationship is to let your spouse do whatever they are wanting. Observing that, be happy with the fact that they’re doing that instead of what you want.

Even better: want to get what you’re wanting from your spouse? Then change what you’re wanting to what your spouse is already doing.

Voila! You’re now getting what you’re wanting.

We can hear the eye-rolls….

But there is wisdom here.

Change what you want from your partner to wanting what your partner is already doing. You will find peace. You’ll stop controlling. Your partner gets to do what they want. Everyone gets happy.

Can you say you feel good when you’re controlling your partner against their will?

We thought not.

Obayda Let him alone FB blog
Photo: Obayda

The problem is your perception, not the conditions. A long-term practice learning to seeing your partner’s positive aspects can transform them. It can recreate your partner without your partner changing.

An example from Perry’s marriage is apt:

One day, Perry’s wife, Bridget, began practicing meditation. She meditated before, but it was sporadic and thus not very effective. After witnessing Perry’s results, Bridget began meditating in earnest.

She supplemented her practice with other approaches. The combination revealed how easy it is to get what she wants. Especially doesn’t try to get anything.

Getting what she wanted required letting go of controlling her husband. Six months passed with the task undone. Yet Bridget had to experience conditions she wanted to control as perfect. With no regard for changing him or the situation.

Some days later, after consistent practice, Bridget found herself more relaxed. Then, one day, she got an intuition that the task she’s wanting Perry to do was about to resolve in a delightful way. Her intuition encouraged her to prepare to be surprised…

Around the same time, Perry, received his own impulse: it said “now is about the time to do (the task)”.

Perry knows that, before taking any action on an impulse, it’s best to let it grow to where it is impossible to ignore. So he allowed this impulse to sit in his awareness with nothing more than a casual acknowledgement of it.

Days passed. Then a week.

During that time Bridget received more impulses. They excited her. Later she told Perry she wanted to tell him what was happening, but knew if she did, she’d muck up the process. So she kept it all to herself.

Meanwhile, Perry kept receiving more and more impulses.

Until one day, Perry felt overcome with wanting to do this task.

He told Bridget he was going to do it the next day.

Bridget, as you can imagine, delighted to hear this. What made that it extra sweet was she knew it was going to happen and her excitement was building the whole time.

· · ·

These days, such things happen often in Perry and Bridget’s relationship. It’s no surprise the two of them continue to practice the work. The evidence for them is overwhelming.

The work works.

Now there’s nothing wrong with getting excited about outcomes like this. Realize this kind of thing happens all the time and the excitement gives way to expectation. Expectation is the sweet spot. It prepares perception to perceive and appreciate more such events.

For Bridget, it was a profound demonstration. It showed she can create any reality. Including one in which she can influence her partner’s behavior!

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life will surprise and delight you. If you let it. (Photo: Andre Guerra)

Everyone has this ability.
It is as natural as breathing. Everyone brings it with them when they come into physical reality.

Exercising this natural ability requires gradually releasing beliefs obscuring this ability. There’s great freedom in exercising it. You can let everyone else in your life off the hook for what happens in your life.

Instead, you can watch everything you’re wanting come into your experience. Not from action. But from your subtle attention to what you’re wanting. A positive outlook and expecting that everything is always working out for you helps too.

So here are the steps to getting what you want out of your spouse (or anyone):

 

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Photo: Sharon Mccutcheon

First discover your own autonomy.

Learn to identify then soothe beliefs that spawn controlling behavior.

You do that by examining your belief constellations. Or by creating new, more empowering ones that will replace your old ones.

Meditation, therapy, bibliotherapy and journaling are all effective was of examining beliefs.  Another way: Pay attention to your negative feelings. They always lead you back to a flawed premise or belief.

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Family dinners for many are less about food and more about sharing love. But other people just don’t get it. And they don’t have to. (Photo: Pablo Merchan Montes)

Let’s say your family always dined together at the dinner table. You gained a lot from that experience. Now as an adult, your partner prefers eating while watching tv. Or he or she prefers a quick bite over formal dinner.

Let’s say your family always dined together at the dinner table. You gained a lot from that experience. Now as an adult, your partner prefers eating while watching tv. Or he or she prefers a quick bite over formal dinner.

It annoys you when he or she declines your offer to a formal dinner every night. As a result you feel negative emotion –– insecurity, frustration, sadness, wistful. So you get angry. Where’s that coming from? A well-practiced belief. Some possible examples:

  • “My partner doesn’t love me”
  • “I married a selfish person”
  • “I can never get what I want”
  • “There’s no love here”

But you aren’t aware of the belief. You just know you’re mad. Then you say something you usually wouldn’t, hoping your partner will give you what you’re wanting.

Notice the beliefs don’t describe your partner or your relationship. They describe what you’re thinking about your partner or your relationship.

Rather than reacting from your anger. Look at the feeling.

Ask yourself: “Why it is important for me to repeat that experience as an adult?”

Then ask, “Why am I trying to cajole that experience out of someone who doesn’t share my past experience?”

Have a journal handy to help you probe the answer.

Your partner isn’t there to recreate your past family dynamics. Your partner is there to enjoy his life. Like you. Berating or shaming your partner to do something they don’t want to never works. You’ll be resentful you had to force them. And you’re going to lose in the long run.

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You’ll be amazed how a consistent positive focus can change your life.

Next: Practice increasing your focus on your partner’s positive aspects.

This is easy.

After all, you married (or partnered) with this person. At one point these were front and center. Again, meditation, book reading, therapy and journaling can assist here.

We do not suggest talking to a friend. Friends sympathize with what you’re going through. They don’t have your best interest at heart. Friends often like to commiserate.

Commiserating is not helpful.

A hyper-focus on your partner’s “weak points” or “areas of development” makes them shine bright.

Focus on those and before long that’s all you see. Then your love turns to resentment. While your partner becomes a scoundrel …when viewed from your negative belief constellations.

Any focus practiced becomes habitual.

So practicing focusing on another’s positive aspects can become habitual too.

Start by keeping a list of everything positive you already know about them. Then begin noticing things beyond what you already know. Write them down in a journal. Acknowledge their existence. Notice, as you practice this, how your mood about the person changes. The more positive aspects pile up, the less negative you begin feeling about the person.

When you’re comfortable, start acknowledging things they do that are positive. No matter how insignificant, share your appreciation to the person. Do it face to face or in a text or handwritten note.

Tip: You’re not manipulating. You’re not trying to change your partner. You’re not even trying to change you. You’re changing how you feel about them.

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You got into a relationship with this person for good reasons. Remember? (photo: Toa Heftiba)

Next: Develop a practice which re-acquaints you with the massively beneficial and wonderful things about your relationship.

It’s easy to get caught up complaining and lose sight not only of gifts your partner brings, but also gifts you two together create.

The same process above can help you develop a chronic habit of relationship appreciation.

Note the positive aspects being with this person creates. Write them down. In time, share them with your partner. Don’t worry if they don’t feel the same way you’re beginning to. Remember, this is not about them.

Then, after at least 60 days, pick something light and easy, that you would prefer your partner to do. (Don’t try this too early, you’ll re-energize your old habits and beliefs.)

Say to yourself, very lightly, with hardly any focus on it, what that is. Say it in a positive, almost nonchalant tone. Like: “wouldn’t it be nice if Alphonso took out the garbage this week?”.

Then, after thinking this statement once, drop it. Drop it completely from your consciousness. Try to obliterate it from your mind, as if it never came up.

If you’ve done everything up to this point each day, then one day, not next week, Alphonso will take out the garbage. You might even receive an pre-intuitive impulse that something is up. Like Bridget did.

Resist the temptation to say anything to Alphonso. Keep it all to yourself.

You’ll be surprised and delighted, but don’t show it. Instead savor the experience.

But do make note of this in your journal!

· · ·

This is a practice. It may or may not happen over night.

It may not happen in the first year. But there is no rush because you are eternal. And, nothing is wrong with Alphonso not taking out the garbage anyway!

Practice this. You’ll be astonished. Become clear about what’s in your belief constellation. Shift your focus to positive aspects of your relationship, and your partner/spouse.  In time you will discover you’re in a pretty awesome relationship. And your partner/spouse is awesome too.

Keep it up and pretty soon you’ll want to explore other ways your beliefs create your reality.

The most convincing proof is personal life experience. When what you’re reading here, happens in your life, things “get real”. You can’t help feeling impervious to misfortune and negative situations.

You’ll come to believe your invincibility.

That will radically change your partnership or marriage. It will leave you living more and more in constant wonder and delight.

Exactly the way life is supposed to be.