The best way to create a better, happy life starts with learning how to do nothing. When people discover the power of doing nothing, life really starts taking off. In a short time, it not only gets better, life feels happier.
Most people instead get caught up in the “doing disease”. They think happy, better lives come from doing things that will, supposedly, make them happy. But what they find is, all that doing leads to a whole lot more doing. And rarely does the doing make the person happy.
Before they know it, the person’s at the end of their life, regretting they spent so much time doing as well as not doing what they could have done. Doing is the dis-ease that can rob one of life.
So many think all we need “to do” is do more of what others are doing and we’ll find happiness. So that’s what we do. We work hard, sacrifice, put off joy now for joy later…
I know that path personally. I worked almost 30 years before I realized the secret to happiness was doing less.
Doing is drudgery
Before that realization, doing had me doing what everyone else did. It worked. Sometimes. Looking back, though, all that hard-earned money, lofty positions that looked good on paper but took their toll on my personal life satisfaction, wasn’t worth the happiness I enjoy now, doing a lot of nothing besides attending to my spiritual happiness.
It’s really crazy how so many people, especially Americans, tie their happiness to work. While it’s true work can be fulfilling, that fulfillment depends on landing work that feels fulfilling. Maybe that’s why 50-80 percent of people hate their work. So what’s the answer? Where does happiness happen?
I suggest it lies in the heart and mind, not in an external situation. Which means, of course, the difference between those fulfilled at work, doing, and those hating what they’re doing lies in what they’re thinking about what they’re doing.
The best way to change how one thinks first comes with understanding how one currently thinks. That’s where becoming Positively Focused starts.
Until a person figures out their thinking patterns and habits, it’s too easy to stay trapped in the doing the disease, trying to create a different result by doing the same things.
I’m glad I found the way out of all that. The way out being doing nothing. It seems crazy, but it’s true. Here’s why.
So many people tire themselves out by trying to get what they want through action. But doing nothing begins a path where things happen far more easily. No struggle required. (Photo by Adrian Swancar)
You match what you’re getting
First, the reason so many seek happiness through doing, yet fail to find it, is because they’re trying to get something they don’t believe they can have. Or they’re looking for it in the wrong place. I talk about this with every client. A person can’t find something they think they can’t find. That’s the case for keys, lost gloves and, frankly, a happy life.
If someone thinks life isn’t fun and easy, they can’t experience the fun and ease of life. No matter how hard they try creating that, it will evade them. A person just can’t create outside of their existing beliefs. And what a person believes often lies hidden in thoughts they’re thinking so often, they can’t consciously perceive the thoughts when they think them.
Insecurities proceed us all
The fact is, if a person thinks life is a struggle, people are out to get them (or don’t care about them), or that their life has no meaning or other similar thoughts, the insecurity or anxiety such thoughts trigger tells the thinker what they’re thinking about life, people or the meaning of life is inconsistent with how life actually is.
What’s more, those thoughts will create life experiences consistent with them. Life will occur as a constant struggle, people will be predatory and life will feel meaningless. And once such thoughts create life experience consistent with them, momentum behind those thoughts is so great, those thoughts continue creating life experience on their own. Until the thinker generates momentum in a different direction.
This is why life seems “the way it is”, like some objective reality. Instead of the subjective reality life really is. Life is a subjective reality under direct control of the person experiencing the reality.
Instead of taking control though, people become victims of that auto-created life. Which means becoming victims of their uncontrolled thinking processes. They try harder. They do more, push, struggle more, thinking if they do all that, they’ll finally get what they want.
It doesn’t work that way. Life gives what you think about. Not what you want.
Finding happiness is easy when you give up the struggle. (Photo by Juliette F on Unsplash)
Doing it different?
Doing nothing begins an important process. That process reverses momentum created when a person keeps doing the same thing over and over, while expecting different results. When someone calms themselves, relaxes and focuses inward, powerful processes get underway even though it seems like nothing happens.
And the more that person relaxes into doing nothing, the more effective they get. That’s because every person receives guidance through their intuition, their Inner Being or Broader Perspective. Doing nothing tunes one into all that timeless wisdom.
What really happens is, by doing nothing, the person calms down noise in their head. That way they start hearing clear signals their intuition sends all day, every day.
In time, the person realizes some profound insights. Like this client:
Uncovering such insights takes a while. And this is the challenge. So many people in our lives tell us doing nothing is lazy and time wasting. But it’s not that. It’s a profound state of being which tunes one back into their deeper knowing.
But if you listen to society, parents, educators and all those loud mouths in the peanut gallery, you’ll hear “stop being lazy”, “work harder”, “success is in the struggle”.
It works but it’s tough
Such approaches work. But do you really want to struggle through life? I don’t. I’d rather enjoy life while seeing my life bringing me everything I want with little effort.
People who struggle claim it’s worth the struggle. They look at and display scars they “earned” on the way to their success. I say give that approach up, especially when it comes to finding happiness.
Instead, figure out how to instantly become a match to the happiness so often sought but not found. When it shows up, you will be a match to it because the instant you create it, you ARE a match to it. You’re happy. Stay in that and a happy life becomes yours.
A better way exists. It starts with doing nothing, which really is doing a lot. Learning to do nothing transforms life. My clients know this. It’s time for you to know it too.
A lot of people find anxiety relief through medications. Nearly all those people don’t realize they don’t need medication to rid themselves from anxiety.
That’s because anxiety is a blessing. Left unchecked though, it can become a curse. It can enslave one in discomfort. So much discomfort the only choice that person thinks they have is relief through a pill.
The medical profession is only too quick to oblige people who suffer from anxiety. That’s why almost 20 percent of Americans find themselves with anxiety “disorders”.
But anxiety gets labeled a “disorder” needing “treatment” because so many don’t understand the benefit anxiety brings to those with it. Now, I already can hear the rebuttal:
“Easy for you to say,” some anonymous reader may offer. “You don’t struggle with anxiety.”
Well, I respond, listening to me might be a good idea then. Because you’re right, I don’t. Or if not me, take the example of a client who just today instantly caused their anxiety to disappear.
How emotions benefit
She came to her session complaining about sleeping poorly the night before. We explored the reasons and the main one was a “general anxiety.” I explained why anxiety shows up for her and suggested she could benefit from the benefits her anxiety offered.
We talked about that briefly, then we dove into an exercise which brought her near instant relief. I’m sharing that exercise here. But first, here’s why anxiety is beneficial.
Anxiety, like any emotion, tells humans something they must know. If they want fulfilling, happy lives, the must know what emotions tell them. But if you ask ten random strangers (or strange friends 😊) why we have emotions, i.e. what their purpose is, you won’t get good answers. Most people don’t know why emotions exist.
Emotions give us clues about how to get everything we want. I talk about this and how to use the clues with clients every week. It takes convincing, of course. That’s because other people convince us they know better than our emotions about what’s right for us.
But for those who use their emotions correctly, charting a path to happiness is inevitable. That’s why emotions – including anxiety – exist. They help us discover our happiness. They also light up the path to everything we want.
Negative emotions such as anxiety offer far more benefit than positive ones. But when used incorrectly or not at all, they can spell trouble. And when people mask them with drugs, their benefits get masked too.
How to get the benefit
The key to unlocking those benefits looks like using emotions for their intended purpose. That means using negative, or unwanted, emotions to chart a course to more positive, better feeling ones. That’s the purpose of the exercise I gave my client.
It worked near instantly. And, she could tell it worked that fast. Looking at her face and reactions, it was obvious.
The exercise involves a series of statements that begin with acknowledging the unwanted emotion then moving through that into better feeling emotions. Statements made are declarative, succinct and include increasing levels of emotion as those emotions show up.
My client asked that I make a recording as an aid for her so she can use the recording to practice. Once I did it, I realized readers of this blog could benefit too. So, here it is free of charge. Simply click on this link. It will direct you to a google drive where you can download it to your computer or phone.
The first minute or so offers instructions, then the remaining eight minutes offer the exercise.
Don’t be fooled
As simple as this may sound recorded, the exercise contains great power. Used alone, anyone suffering from occasional or mild anxiety can eliminate such experiences from daily life. Used in conjunction with other practices I offer in my Positively Focused sessions, even those with chronic, medicated anxiety can find so much relief over time, they can eventually get off their medication.
It’s hard when so many people give so much advice about things while not really understanding the purpose and origins of such things. Emotions are one such thing. Without understanding them, doctors, psychologists and psychiatrists do people a disservice.
I realize they’re doing their best and many sincerely want to help.
Of course, there are severe conditions existing where putting people on medications provides needed relief. And from there, a person can eventually perhaps discover ways to better manage chronic anxiety and other unwanted emotions, such as depression.
But for the vast majority of anxiety and depression sufferers, there are very good reasons why such experiences happen. They don’t have to happen. But unless one understands why they happen, finding the way out remains elusive.
Don’t be fooled. Anxiety needn’t be a constant companion. Discover your own inherent, natural relief from anxiety. Then use it for its intended purpose.
Then you’ll find yourself appreciating anxiety for what it is: a blessing. Not a curse. Want to know more? I can help.
It’s so fun helping clients discover they create their reality. I love participating in that unfolding. When such people discover their manifestation power, they realize they can create what they thought was impossible. Then their lives get really fun.
Of course, everything is possible. The only things keeping some things impossible are beliefs we hold. “That’s impossible” is a self-fulfilling prophesy.
Things change though when someone discovers they stand at the center of the Universe. There they realize they create everything around them. Including all the lovers they want…or the lack thereof. 🤷🏽♂️
Stories are powerful
One client’s personal experience showed how powerful, or disempowering, beliefs can be. She started practicing with me 36 sessions ago. Last week, something happened that amazed her.
During those 36 weeks, Jennifer (not her real name) uncovered many disempowering beliefs. They included beliefs about dating, about men, about men’s intentions. But they also included beliefs about Jennifer herself. These included beliefs like the following:
I’m not good enough to get what I want
I’m too fat to get the guy I want
Men only want me for sex
I’m too old
Time’s running out for me to find a guy
I never can find the right guy I want
Taken together these beliefs created Jennifer’s reality. What did that reality look like? One where men she met wanted her for sex only. Several often called her, but only when drunk. They demanded sexually explicit texts, wouldn’t talk on the phone, and when Jennifer pushed the issue, they would ghost her. Others made promises to meet in person, only to disappear later.
No wonder Jennifer, who happens to be transgender, formed negative beliefs about dating, about men and about men’s intentions.
It’s not that her beliefs weren’t true. After all, she formed many of them from past experience. But if Jennifer wants what she wants, she can’t expect to get it while holding beliefs about what she doesn’t want, no matter how true they are.
Beliefs are powerful. They can create more of the same. Or they can create what you want.
Abraham puts it plain. You get what you look at because what you look at forms your beliefs.
Choose: get what you want or be right
Jennifer had a choice. She could talk about what’s true and be right. Or she could create beliefs and talk about what she wants and get that.
For example, one belief she had about men was “I’ll never meet a nice guy locally”. Every guy she had met, she met through OKCupid. Desperation had her using online dating. No matter how many times I told her online dating works terribly, she kept using it.
That’s because she also believed it was the only way she met men. See how beliefs create reality? Her’s about not meeting local guys had her believing she could only meet men online. So that’s how she met them. And, the men she met there showed up consistent with her other beliefs. Especially beliefs about herself as a transgender woman.
The online experience only amplified her frustration, which in turn reinforced her beliefs. Again, Jennifer can’t entertain beliefs about her past and get what she wants. Instead, she must focus on what she wants. That’s what we focused on in the ensuing 36 sessions.
It’s amazing how many people prefer being right than get what they want, which is why they end up on medications, lonely or unhappy in life. (Photo by Molnar Balint)
Evidence starts proving it works
Over time, Jennifer’s new, empowering beliefs started creating realities consistent with themselves. It was rough going at first. Often Jennifer reinforced her old ones more than energizing new, more empowering ones.
However, there’s something cool about telling positive stories. Such stories enjoy enormous creative potential. You see, the Universe wants everyone to enjoy what they want, no exceptions. So when someone lines up with what they want by telling positive stories about it, they become a match to that. Then, that person gradually starts seeing evidence of what they want showing up everywhere.
That’s what happened with Jennifer. For example, men started waving at her as she walked down the street. Every time it happened, she said, she looked behind her to see if the guys were waving at someone else. Nope, they waved at her.
Or the male barista at the drive up kiosk would chat Jennifer up, where before he would ignore her. Another time a gas station attendant complimented her nails. And another time, a male restaurant sever paid particular attention to her as he attended the table she sat at with friends.
Ordinary people chalk these examples up to “coincidence” or some other logical explanation. But there’s no such thing as coincidence and logic has nothing to do with it! Everything happens on purpose. The purpose is reflecting back beliefs one tells about what’s happening.
The more Jennifer got this, the more such things happened.
Evidence grows more insistent
Until one day while walking her dog at the local dog park, a man who also had his dog approached her. He said hi and Jennifer returned the greeting. They enjoyed a nice conversation while their dogs played. Afterward, the guy said “Oh, dude, I gotta go. I’m late.”
Now Jennifer interpreted that as the guy misgendering her. We don’t know what his intentions really were, but I told her telling such a story was not in her best interest.
“It’s better to make up a story that you feel better about,” I said.
“Like what?” She asked.
“Like ‘the guy was using “dude” like some people do. It’s just a figure of speech, like an exclamation”,” I replied.
At first, Jennifer didn’t like that new story. But after some cajoling she admitted it felt better than the knee-jerk story she wanted to tell.
I told her telling such stories would create the next evidence that would knock Jennifer’s socks off.
And that’s exactly what happened next.
Every one can enjoy a relationship that knocks their socks off. Unless their beliefs run contrary to having that enjoyment. (Photo by Jeremy Bishop)
It bowls you over
Jennifer had other beliefs not related to men and dating. These needed attention too. The combination of beliefs, what I call a Belief Constellation, creates everyone’s reality. Jennifer’s constellation included many negative beliefs about her work and her manager. Those beliefs kept Jennifer on edge, defensive and feeling like a victim.
Feeling on edge, defensive and victimhood makes one a match to situations that exacerbate feeling those ways. And not just work situations, dating situations too. That’s why we needed to soothe Jennifer’s work beliefs too.
That took a while, but the better Jennifer felt, the more she wanted to do the practice. In time, evidence at work convinced her more and more her new beliefs were working.
Her boss complimented her more and more. She gave Jennifer more responsibilities. When Jennifer announced she was looking for openings in other departments, her manager offered to reclassify her job so she could get more pay. Finally, her manager came out and told Jennifer how much she valued her and how much she wanted Jennifer to stay.
Evidence at work was bowling Jennifer over. It amazed her that simply telling positive stories could literally change her relationship with her boss!
Then one day Jennifer texted me from work telling me how a process I taught her – called PRE-PAVING – helped change her work experience. In the text, she misspells it as “preparing”:
Then it happened
Riding on that positive momentum created what happened next. Jennifer felt good about changes happening at work. So much so, she softened on the idea that she couldn’t meet men in person. She started acknowledging evidence showing she was meeting men. It’s just that she hadn’t soothed negative beliefs enough to have such men approach her in person.
That all changed rather suddenly.
A few days after a remarkably powerful session, Jennifer sent me a text. It was awesome:
Many layers prove how powerful this experience was for Jennifer. For one, she didn’t have to do ANYTHING to meet this LOCAL, GORGEOUS guy other than follow her intuition to take Rocco out for walk. Second, there’s NO WAY ON EARTH she could have deliberately sought out this guy. It could only happen this way, a perfect orchestration of her unfolding reality.
Third, the guy did all the work. He approached her and initiated a conversation. But most of all, what’s super awesome about this rendezvous, is through it, Jennifer realized yet another belief she needs to clean up:
“He’s out of my league.”
However, even though that happened, she still had an experience totally contrary to EVERY experience she had in the past.
Every encounter a stepping stone
It’s really important at the point of receiving this experience that Jennifer enjoy the experience. Negatively judging herself does no good. Neither does harsh self-criticism about not doing something she thought she should have done. Everything worked perfectly here because this rendezvous wasn’t meant to be the perfect match or the perfect lover.
What it was, was an experience clarifying for Jennifer where she is on the path to becoming the perfect match to her perfect lover. How else will she know what disempowering beliefs remain in her constellation, if she doesn’t get to see her constellation in action? This experience worked perfectly.
It encouraged her. It created more desire in her. The fact that it happened gladdened her, inspiring her to the possibility that more such experiences can happen. It was a local connection! Something she thought impossible. And it showed that gorgeous men show interest in her.
So many disempowering beliefs got a dose of positivity just through this one experience. And so long as she remains in all these powerfully positive interpretations, Jennifer makes herself a match to more such experiences in the future.
Every client gets it
I love it when these kinds of things happen for my clients. Every client enjoys this kind of progression on their way to the love, the life, their greatest desires.
Everything is possible. Including having a relationship matching one’s wildest dreams. Nothing stands in the way of whatever anyone wants other than beliefs a person tells that are contrary to what’s wanted.
Clean those beliefs up though and watch how remarkable life gets.
Life is a wish-granting jewel. No matter what one wishes for, one can have it. One only need become a match to it, then draw that which is wished for to them as they hold themselves as a match to it.
I show clients how to do that. It’s easy, it’s fun and it works. Every time. You ready for your true love, your version of the Charmed Life Jennifer’s creating? I can help.
The best way to get everything one wants in life is to pursue what’s wanted because pursuing it is joyful. This is especially true when wanting something most people think is impossible. Such as “manifesting” more money, a relationship or a better job.
That’s because most people will tell you their opinion on how to get those things. And rarely will they offer the “manifesting” path. They’ll tell you “the odds” of you “manifesting” that thing. The’ll tell you getting something that way is “wishful thinking”.
They’ll tell you to be “realistic”. Being realistic means “trying hard”. It means doing what others do. It involves focusing with the end in mind and “faking it till you make it.”
All of those ways can work. But look around at people doing it that way. It’s hard work. People hate the process. And hardly anyone gets what they’re after, because the path is so filled with struggle many or most give up on what they want. Or worse, they compromise. They settle for something “ok” instead of holding out for their dream.
Compromising is what happens when someone goes after something thinking the result is what they’re after. If, however, a person goes after something, knowing the journey to that thing is what matters most, the entire process and experience of the process changes. It’s no longer a struggle, it’s a joy. The process of doing becomes the purpose of the doing, not the means to the ends. And in that mind space, what one wants happens fast.
Your action isn’t the main attraction
Why does this happen? Because when the mind isn’t focused on the end goal, the mind becomes open to millions of avenues leading to the goal instead of the one way one thinks it must happen.
Think about it. When focused on a particular goal, say, finding a lover, usually people think of one particular way to get that lover. The main way they think it must happen has to do mainly with their taking action to “make something happen”.
But the majority of people who get what they want, especially really big things they want, hardly ever get those things through their hard work. And usually, if they’re honest when asked, those people attribute “success” to “luck” or “god” or some other force greater than themselves that made it all possible. There’s truth to their attribution. Your action is not the main attraction.
Often, these people reach a point in their “doing” where they realize they’ve done all they can. With nothing more they can do, they give up. They surrender to “come what may”. Typically, once they give up, once they surrender, that thing they want shows up. It’s not the surrender that makes that happen. It’s what happens when they surrender.
Surrender to the journey
When one surrenders, they give up actions, but also thoughts standing between them and the easy flow of what is wanted. In other words, the person no longer stands in the way of what they want. Instead, in giving up, they become a cooperative element in the unfolding.
Another way of “surrendering” is giving up focusing on the end goal and instead enjoying the process, doing what one’s doing for no other reason than the joyful doing of the doing. A client and I talked about exactly this recently. Take a listen:
I have several really big things I’m “manifesting”. They include things 99 percent of humans will say can’t be done. But I know those things on my list are as easy for me as an eternal being, with the power of the Universe behind me, to accomplish as it is to walk from one room to another. However, I must relax into the process of their unfolding, because I too have residual belief in their impossibility.
It’s not the “impossibility” of the things I want keeping them from happening. It’s the belief in the impossibility slowing things down. So for someone like me, who wants really big things showing up, I must focus relentlessly on the journey as the goal rather than the goal itself. That’s why I see, nearly every day, evidence of their unfolding.
Everyone can enjoy fulfilled wishes
Compared to what’s on my list, finding a partner or a job or whatever is easy as pie. All that’s required is giving up thoughts contrary to what one wants. Thoughts contrary to what one wants aren’t the only ones that must go though. Thoughts seemingly having nothing to do with the goal also must go. This is why it seems to take forever for people to “manifest” something.
They aren’t willing to surrender. Meaning, they aren’t willing to give up what they must to have what they want.
Anyone can have what they want no matter what it is because the Universe is a wish-granting jewel ready to deliver ANYTHING someone can formulate desire for.
All that’s required is focusing on the reason why one wants what they want rather than focusing on the thing wanted. Doing that will naturally put one in alignment with the wanted thing, so long as the reasons feel good.
If a person can remain in those good feelings, instead of thinking about how lonely they are, or how impossible the goal seems, they’ll get what they want. It’s that easy.
Feeling good is like finding
It’s easy because when a person focuses on why they want and feel good in that, the desire itself becomes more important than the fulfillment. They don’t need the thing they want, because they already feel good without it. So the desire’s fulfillment becomes irrelevant. When a person gets there, then having what they want is icing on the cake because they already feel as they will feel when what they want comes. Feeling good about what you want is as good as having it. And when you’re there, what you want must show up.
It’s not hard shifting that focus. It can happen in as little as five minutes. You know you’ve done that when you feel good right now, even without having what you want. And again, when you feel good, you’re closer to having what you want than you think.
If you want to know more about how this all works, set up a free 1:1 and let’s talk. Let’s discover how easy it is to have anything you want. It’s not as impossible as you think. All you need is more happy. Then everything in life will come on its own accord.
There’s great power in managing vibration so that one stands in a high flying state. Doing so, one can literally shape others’ experiences. One can also shape other people. A powerful example of that happened this week with a client.
This client finds himself profoundly affected by his Positively Focused practice, which spanned some four months. But this week, like many clients, he came having had a rough few days. So when he showed up to the session, he wasn’t ready for what happened.
When I help clients attain vibrational mastery, I create a vibrational bubble in which I hold the session. Every session feels the same because of this. The high vibrational state I create then hold during the session “pulls” clients from wherever they are, to where I am. That’s why, unlike traditional therapyor counseling, every client enjoys extremely satisfying sessions containing powerful insights and breakthroughs.
A compelling offer
This time, however, I brought a lot more vibrational mastery to the table than usual. That’s because I meditated prior to the session, using a process which increases one’s vibrational focus. I also used another process because I wanted to amplify the great feeling I felt after meditation.
By the time I came to the session, I was bouncing off the walls with intense, positivity, appreciation and joy. So much so, the client’s socks got blown off.
The disparity between where he was and where I was was so great, he had to join me. He literally had no choice because my mastery was so strong.
So when the client came into my bubble, his negative vibration had no place to go but outta here! 😂.
Which is why, after the session, he sent this:
Creating people on demand
When it comes to relationships, most people try to manipulate, convince, “love” (it’s not really that), bribe, blackmail or blame their partners into being someone they can be happy with. That hardly ever works. Indeed, the whole idea of “love languages” is part of the problem with relationships. Expecting someone to be a certain way so you feel better is a recipe for disaster. It’s also not loving.
Loving is unconditional. That means, no matter how a person might be, you still love them. That’s hard when vibrational mastery eludes you.
But with vibrational mastery, not only can you love a person no matter how they are, when you do, THEY CHANGE.
The best way to change someone is to come into alignment with the version of the person you want to experience. Then the person you’re with changes into that person. Vibrational mastery makes that possible.
Trying to change people through action or words hardly ever works. When it does work, it rarely lasts. It often also creates resentment. But using vibration, you can make any change you want permanent. And people love you for it.
It’s just like what my client experienced. And I wasn’t even trying!
Want a powerful relationship with those you love, those you work with and those you care about? Stop trying to change them. Attain vibrational mastery and watch how much power you have to produce wonderful results. Including creating versions of people who match your every desire.
A client echoed what many of my clients feel after learning how to cultivate a positive focus about their lives and things they want in life, including jobs, money, love, peace of mind and more.
A five-month veteran of the practice, his life transformed dramatically over this time. No wonder he’s doubling down on his Positively Focused life view, about relationships and about himself. He knows it’s the best way to get what he wants in every aspect of his life.
Furthermore, he knows the power behind why being Positively Focused works so well. It makes everything possible. Including turning around, in just a couple weeks, circumstances which had this client contemplating suicide.
Anyone can easily eliminate suicidal thoughts. It happens once someone understands then uses the power of being Positively Focused.
That’s what this client did. In a couple weeks, he no longer even thought about killing himself. Now, he’s so clear he’s god in human form, he’s glad he made the choice to connect with this practice rather than going to a therapist:
He’s right on another thing. Mass shootings in the US wouldn’t happen if people understood why emotions exist and where they come from. Ignorant of this, some get so far down emotionally, feeling powerless and insecure, shooting up a school, church or grocery store becomes their only hope at feeling power.
Such events needn’t happen. But so long as people don’t understand their internal, eternal nature, they will keep happening. So will suffering. Eckhart Tolle wasn’t playing when he talked about how unnecessary suffering can be:
Suffering: still necessary?
I love how clients get that suffering no longer need exist in their lives. I love then watching them tune their lives so their lives match stories they tell about how they want their life, instead of how it is.
The more they do that, the more powerful they get. Then the more free they get. Before long, life for them becomes adventurous. Then they get the life they knew was possible. Their life becomes the Charmed Life I write about here.
We suffer because we know, deep down, life as the great adventure. It contains everything we want, flowing to us easily. But for so many, that’s not the life they live.
I want everyone living their happiest life. Therapy does work for some. But it has a terrible success rate. Telling positive stories works 100 percent of the time. Positive story telling is one of the best kept life secrets.
Although it’s not a secret. People have shared this life approach for…ever.
Isn’t it about time you got in on the secret? If so, I can help!
A transgender client from our sister site The Transamorous Network recently came to her session feeling ecstatic. I immediately became so too. That’s because I knew, even before she described what happened, what happened. She scored her dream career.
How? Solely by thinking positive thoughts. I’m sharing this successful manifestation from my sister site (I do this often) because it offers proof that “manifesting” works, every time.
I know many will say this was a series of coincidences. But me and this client know what happened directly resulted from her learning to see the world Positively Focused. As a result, she easily came into her dream job with absolutely no effort on her part. Instead she had fun, fun, fun.
“I told my mom,” she said. “Getting work this way is 1,000 times more satisfying than going through the grind everyone else is doing.”
Indeed. All during this time, her mom forwarded my client job openings from Indeed.com, hoping her daughter would apply. But my client wanted to prove to herself a positive focus works better. I’m glad she wanted to test it, because the results were stunning. As they always are.
Here’s what happened.
Becoming a match to what’s wanted
Clare (not her real name) is on her 123rd session. It took her a while to start believing, but evidence she produced along the way roused dramatic behavioral changes. For one, she gave up online dating. She finally agreed it created more negative experiences than positive ones and those negative experiences too easily translated into negative beliefs about men. Negative beliefs about herself too. Those beliefs exacerbated her negative online experiences. That got her realizing trying to find a partner through online dating wasn’t worth it.
Then she gave up trying to “find” a guy altogether. Instead, she decided to focus on herself. She decided rather than meeting men who matched who she’s being now, she would become the “best version of herself” and, doing that, meet men who are a match to that.
It’s a standard result of the approach advocated at The Transamorous Network and here too at Positively Focused. Every experience comes as a manifestation of what the experiencer emanates. That emanation happens through thoughts and beliefs people hold about experiences had in the past, or experiences they want to have. The best way to meet the perfect partner involves first becoming a match to that. One does that by thinking positive thoughts and cultivating positive belief about a host of subjects. Those gradually change emanations one’s putting out about those subjects.
In time, one becomes a match to what they want, rather than being a match to what they don’t want. This process happens effortlessly. With enough practice, the process then happens automatically. Delight, surprise, life enjoyment and an ever-increasing desire for more of that mark “success” with the process. Oh, one also gets everything they want too!
How reality really works.
The sucky job hunt
As Clare focused on herself, a lot of resistance she held for many subjects started giving way. In the wake of all that, she discovered more peace and satisfaction with the way her life currently was. For many years, for example, Clare harbored impatience, frustration and annoyance about living with her parents on a farm in rural America.
But through the practice, she learned how to appreciate this situation. Indeed, living with her parents offered exactly what she wanted. The biggest thing was time. Her parents love her, provide for her. Even though they want her to get on with living – get a job, find a place to live on her own and make a life for herself – they also aren’t pressuring her to do those things.
I encouraged Clare see value in all that support. But Clare focused too much on what she thought her parents thought about her living there. As a result, Clare felt pressure, anxiety and impatience. Those emotions motivated her to look for a job.
But looking for a job sucks! It’s tedious, there’s a lot of rejection, and, depending on one’s self-image, it can be demoralizing. Especially when one sees how many jobs one doesn’t qualify for. In many ways, job hunting closely resembles online dating! 😂
Clare wavered between frustration and annoyance, then disappointment and anger as she sent out resume after resume to crickets and rejection.
All the while I encouraged her to give up job hunting and learn to create the job she wants. How? By telling positive stories about what she wants, instead of trying to find a “job”.
Would you jump off a cliff?
I know everyone, or at least most people, look for jobs exactly the way Clare was. And, many of those people find work that way. But it sucks doing it that way! Yes, people find satisfaction working for good companies and for good people. Good pay too. The opposite also holds up. In other words, just because everyone does something a certain way, doesn’t make it the way. Or the only way. Or the best way.
Besides, spiritual beings don’t come into a body to copy experiences everyone else experiences. Each comes to live their special, unique paradigm-busting life experience. One that would transform the world while offering immense personal satisfaction.
I explained all this to Clare, many, many times before she actually believed it enough to apply this approach to attracting work. By this time Starbucks hired her as a barista, which was great because their insurance plan paid for surgeries she wanted. She liked the job, at first. She enjoyed who she worked with and customers she served. Beyond that, insurance and a paycheck though, it offered little satisfaction.
It took about six months before Clare was over Starbucks. She wanted work in her field. Something creative. Something more consistent with her aspirations.
Week after week, dissatisfaction increased. Finally, she decided to try the Positively Focused approach.
Getting stories straight
It took her a while to find pleasing beliefs. Subjects she had beliefs about that impacted “getting a job” were many and varied. They included beliefs about work, obviously, but also about many other things.
About work, Clare needed to sooth old beliefs about her not being good enough to have her dream job. She believed such jobs were scarce. You need to know someone in order to get such a job, she thought. She also thought a person needed to live in an urban center, where creatives lived. None of these are true. They aren’t false either. But such stories create a reality that excludes getting the job Clare wanted.
Other beliefs she needed to address were about living at home, about her parents and what they thought, about why she wanted work, about the timeframe in which she “should” start working and more. As I said above, beliefs about lots of subjects affect success in any outcome. Beliefs about what’s wanted, for example, contribute only partially to what one gets or doesn’t get. Often, beliefs hindering one’s ability to get what they want have more to do with beliefs the person has about themselves. Those hinder the vast majority of people.
So Clare had her work set out for her. The main thing I encouraged Clare do was enjoy her now. Have fun, I told her. Find things she liked doing and forget about finding a job. Enjoy the fact that her parents lovingly support her. Enjoy the fact that she doesn’t really need a job.
That’s what Clare started doing.
Getting stories straight means adjusting what I say about life so that my life reflects my adjusted stories back to me. The Universe works no other way. Harness this and the world becomes yours.
Getting bored doing nothing
In essence, I told Clare “stop doing and be more”. That’s a problem for many, many people because most of us think and believe things happen as a result of “doing”.
That’s never the case though, even though it looks that way. But the way things look is an illusion. Things happen as a result of what a person thinks and believes and expects. Action is what happens at the last moment. Action, or doing, puts a person at coordinates in space and time where the desired manifestation happens.
But again, this is really, really difficult for people to get. Especially parents. They think doing nothing is doing nothing. It’s lazy, mooching, being irresponsible.
None of that is true. Doing nothing is doing something. When a person does nothing, they’re soothing negative story momentum. Stories that keep them in “doing mode”, the doing of which keeps them thinking their doing creates results.
Clare had a really hard time with this at first. She quickly got bored. Video games no longer held her interest. Movies got old. She got impatient, frustrated. We talked about these feelings and beliefs they sprang from and, in time, created new ones for Clare about those things. Those new ones allowed Clare greater ease and satisfaction with things she once liked doing.
It took awhile, but Clare found more satisfaction and pleasure in pastimes once she let go of judgement about those things, judgement, representing beliefs she inherited from her parents and society in general. Especially conservative society which harshly condemns idle hands.
Then things get interesting
One day after weeks enjoying her life, Clare came to her session feeling inspired. She had cruised Instagram this week, something she really enjoys, and her feed served up an invitation to a panel presentation on something like “How to manage production sets in a time of COVID”.
Now’s a good time to include that Clare’s field of choice, where her creative passions point her, involves working on creative production sets. Photo shoots and movie sets are where Clare feels most inspired and engaged. So when this invitation showed up, she knew it was the result of the practice.
“I knew this wasn’t coincidence,” She told me in session. “So I wanted to share it with you. I’m really excited this happened.”
I was too. It was exactly the manifestation Clare wanted. Furthermore, I knew, I just knew, this was the beginning of a series of manifestations leading to Clare getting everything she wants.
We talked about the best way to attend the event. I encouraged her, if she was so inspired, to write down every panel participant’s name and what they say. Then later, followup with each of them with an inspiring message over Instagram. I suggested she highlight something each person said that resonated with her. That resonance, I told her, offered a clue that would unfold in a delightful way.
So notice this: Clare relaxed into her life. She learned to enjoy more and more her day-to-day. She learned to stop telling negative stories about everything about her life. Then, the universe served up the perfect invitation: the opportunity to participate in this discussion.
It was perfect. But more stood ready.
Life happens easy when one takes it easy.
Momentum ensues
The next session, Clare was super excited. She reached out to all the panelists. Nearly all of them replied. Three of them invited her to an in person conversation. Long story short, one of these conversations happened on a photo set in a small company owned and run by a lesbian couple.
Clare’s manifestation was unfolding…
Clare said she could tell she impressed them. She was high flying in relating how the conversation went. She added the other conversations thrilled her too, but this one was the most thrilling.
“Go with that feeling,” I told her. And she did.
She continued corresponding with those panel members who responded to her most actively. Then, one day, seemingly out of the blue, Clare got a voice message from someone she didn’t know.
The voice message told her a corporate gig was coming up and, if she was available, the voice said, they’d love to have her join the team running the shoot.
Clare just got an employment offer!
Manifestation…happens
That same day, she put the details together with the caller. By the time we had our session that afternoon, the opportunity was hers. It came together literally an hour before our session began.
Needless to say, Clare was over the moon. She told me her mother and father both expressed pride in her getting her first paid gig, in her field of choice, with lots of opportunities to leverage this experience into future gigs.
But Clare and I both know the only leverage she needs is the leverage inherent in her power as a deliberate creator, exercised through her powerful story telling.
“I told my mom,” she said. “Getting work this way is 1,000 times more satisfying than going through Indeed.com.”
Indeed. When a person creates opportunity, it’s always more satisfying than going hunting for one. It’s much more fun seeing what one wants come to you rather than you having to go out and find it.
Whether it’s work, income, a lover, better health or happiness, nothing lies out of the realm of the possible. Unless one’s beliefs say something is impossible, nothing is.
If you’re someone lonely and longing for love, or you want better work, more money or something else you think will make you happy, there’s no better Source for any of that than the beliefs you tell yourself.
YOU are the genie in the bottle standing ready to fulfill your every wish! If you’re ready to tell better stories about your life so that your life improves, and would like some help with that, I’m here.
A delightful post script:
I finished writing this post and the next week, had a session with Clare. She came to the session overflowing with excitement. That’s because after doing the gig described above, “out of the blue” three other people called her. They all offered additional gigs, at rates 21 percent higher than the first one! One of the newer gigs is a 4-5 day shoot, meaning Clare will receive over $1400 for 4 days work!
“This sure beats my Starbucks job!” She said. “I used to make maybe $50 a day there.”
Indeed. Once a person gets in the grove telling positive stories, the flood gates open, revealing that the Universe, for sure, is pouring down everything one wants. Clare’s experience is a perfect example of that!
Question: What is the best method of the Law of Attraction? Why Do these methods work for some and do not work for others?
I’ve already answered the first question here and here. I want to focus on your second question. It’s more important.
Law of Attraction works in every case. If it worked for some and not for others, it wouldn’t be what the word “Law” implies. BTW, Law of Attraction is not really a “law”. That word suggests someone created this process by which all things must comply. No one did that. It’s always been, just like you and me.
Since Law of Attraction does apply to everyone and everything, it must be “working” for everyone and every thing (which it does). So why do some get what they want and others don’t?
Everyone gets what they focus on
It’s an extremely important question. The answer is, everyone IS getting what they want. But you must understand what “what they want” means in order to understand why everyone’s getting what they want, even those who think they aren’t getting what they want, or thinking Law of Attraction isn’t working.
The Universe doesn’t care about what a person wants. All it’s doing is fulfilling desire. It seems like those two things, desire and getting what you want, are the same.
But from the universe’s perspective, they are not.
Desire from universal perspective, is energy, focused. Getting what you want is a choice. Desire is what summons life force. “Getting what you want” is the result of channelled desire. So desire supersedes getting what you want. It is a larger concept. Getting what you want expresses a focus of desire turning into a result. Does that make sense?
Having made that important distinction, it’s easy to see why Law of Attraction seems not to work for some people. Law of Attraction is fulfilling desire. But it’s also responding to resistance, which is a kind of blocking force humans add to the process of getting what they want through beliefs that are contrary to what they want.
When Law of Attraction kicks into gear, it “knows” what a person is focusing on, and going to work to coordinate that into reality. But if a person is focused more on what they don’t want, or if they’re focused in a way that creates resistance against what they want, then they’re going to get what they’re focusing on: lackluster, or no results at all, or so it seems.
It works who don’t believe
So what one focuses on is what one gets. Not what they want. Unless they focus purely on what they want. For example, someone who believes Law of Attraction doesn’t work, and so tries to make Law of Attraction work as a way of proving it won’t work, will get results proving it won’t work because that’s what they’re focusing on. Even if they try to get what they want, but their predominant beliefs say “Law of Attraction doesn’t work”, they won’t get what they want because their beliefs put resistance in the way, which keeps them from getting what they want.
Those who refuse to test it, and just believe “it doesn’t work”, will see all around them evidence of it not working. They’ll also rendezvous with people with similar results, as Law of Attraction is drawing to them what they’re focused on.
The same is true for someone who, for example, wants a boyfriend, but doesn’t believe they are attractive enough, or smart enough, or successful enough.
Or they might not believe such a boyfriend exists, or that he exists in their local area, or if he does, that person won’t find them interesting. Thoughts matter, in other words.
Negative results are positive
When someone uses Law of Attraction and they don’t get what they want, that’s Law of Attraction giving that person pertinent information.
How does someone know where their focus is, if it’s off, and they can’t tell that it’s off? The answer: They can’t.
So this is another scenario in which Law of Attraction is working, even when people think it’s not. In this case, it’s showing the manifest-er where their dominant focus is, which is very important, isn’t it? That way, they can do something about their faulty “aim” so to speak.
So there’s no evidence Law of Attraction works for some and not others. It works for everyone. If someone thinks it’s not working, they should look at what they’re thinking and focusing on.
Law of Attraction is working. It’s just giving them what they’re focusing on. That’s not necessarily what they want.
But it is, in a way, because by getting what they don’t want, at least they know what they need to do next: focus on what they want better than they have up to now.
Early in his sessions, a client from our sister organization, The Transamorous Network asked “Are you saying that if you tune your vibration, you can never have contact with negative people?”
“Yes,” I said.
It’s hard believing EVERYTHING is possible. Until some things a person thinks impossible start happening. Such is the case with this client. His life filled with all kinds of people connections. Some were positive, cordial, even friendly.
But others were downright hostile. Especially his encounters with people he knew well. This client attributed the latter encounters to the fact that “I basically have been a dick my entire life.”
“Being a dick” though is a story/belief. Everything in physical reality comes to us based on our emanating vibrations. Stories about life, thoughts and beliefs all carry vibrations. So how people react to us – and how we react to them – tells us a lot about what’s going on with our vibration.
Or rather it can, when one learns how they create their reality.
Evidence comes when invited
Which is what this client started learning. Early on he still kept experiencing less than happy encounters. All the while, I stood steadfast, knowing everyone creates their reality. “Reality” includes people we meet, date, marry. We even create our family members, including our parents and grandparents.
This client’s vibration still needs work. But he’s receiving early signs convincing him my assertion’s accuracy. It’s not actually my assertion though. It’s a universal law.
How do I know he’s receiving early signs? Because people around him are experiencing what he’s talking about. Including me. So do lives of my other clients.
For example, this week, while talking with a Positively Focused client on his 100th session, the client brought up something very interesting. Take a listen:
The moment he said this, I knew sharing this with my Transamorous Network client would be a great idea. I wanted this client’s permission first, so I sent the clip to him asking to share it.
That took a couple days. In those ensuing days, I had a remarkable, similar example. It was as though the Universe was driving the point home.
While walking through my neighborhood park, I passed two people, a man and woman. They walked hand-in-hand immersed in conversation. Even so, the guy looked at me. At that moment, I stood fully in my high vibration. I met his gaze with an ear-to-ear smile and a twinkle in my eye.
I made a lap around the park. Then, as I turned a corner, the same couple approached.
“Excuse me, excuse me,” the guy said.
“Yes?” I replied.
“You have the greatest smile,” He said.
What confirmation! But also, the moment that happened too, I knew sharing it with my Transamorous Network client would make his day.
He creates his own evidence
Sharing these experiences, I knew, would soothe the his resistance allowing his life to prove that he too, can create such a reality. One where he never meets negative people ever again.
Little did I know, he already was there. I shared what happened with him via text. What he wrote back didn’t surprise me at all:
This client is on his 35th session. He needed some prompting to realize he already is producing evidence he once thought impossible. How did he miss it before this? His negative focus. That’s all.
And that’s the thing. While people focus on all the negative things happening in the world, thinking focusing on the negative things is how negative things get solved, there’s a TON of positive things happening. Negative things resolve themselves when human consciousness focuses on the positive things. That’s because human consciousness is an amplifier.
Whatever it focuses on, gets bigger.
Everything is possible
Is it possible to never have negative encounters? Of course! Even better: it’s possible ONLY to have great encounters with people. When you’re a match to great encounters, that’s what you’re going to attract. Living as a match to great encounters means you, yourself live so high flying you only offer great encounters.
And when you live from there, the only people you’ll meet are those matching that way of being.
It’s lovely knowing this, but it’s even better experiencing it. For in the experiencing, one really gets that if this kind of thing is possible – if you can create other people as the versions of them you want to experience – then ANYTHING else is possible too.
I prefer saying EVERYTHING is possible. Because it is!
I love it when clients get results so inspiring, they confirm what I know about the power of the Positively Focused approach.
Recently, a client came to his session feeling strong self-reproach, self-judgement and frustration. He had a university exam due Friday – it was Monday – and, instead of preparing, he spent several hours binging Star Trek Discovery while also binging on snack food.
Seems like little things, don’t they? But such little things pack a punch when they’re repeated over and over. That’s how life gets out of hand for so many.
In other words, it’s a little thing – a negative thought – thought over and over that eventually creates realities consistent with it. Then life sucks.
My client couldn’t shake his negative thoughts on his own. So we practiced a process that transforms such thoughts into more positive and uplifting ones. By the end, he no longer felt bad about his choices.
Instead, he felt joy at having binged the show. Indeed, when he moved from his negative thoughts into more positive ones, he realized how perfect binging that show was. The main character’s life, he said, mimicked his own. Through the character’s life he saw aspects of his life he could improve.
Other profound realizations came too. He got, for instance, that the same judgement he had for himself about binging, he also had for his mother and his housemate. Both spend a lot of time on the couch consuming streaming media. Both also have poor eating habits and bodies consistent with those habits. My client judged them both harshly. That judgement he also directed towards himself, producing very disempowering results.
No coincidences anywhere
We used the same process to clean up those thoughts about his housemate and mother too, which produced even more euphoria in my client. After all, underneath every person’s negative mindset exists the God in Human Form they really are. Tapping into that feels euphoric.
But negative mindsets block all that. With those things blocked, one cuts oneself off from their divinity. There, they can’t see the beautiful nature of their created life experience.
Instead they see a random world where coincidences happen. Life comes with great risk. It’s scary and unpredictable and so they must protect themself and what they have. Cultivating a Positively Focused mindset clears all that away, then it reveals that everything in life stems from the thoughts you think.
Another client realizing when she deliberately chooses positive thoughts in the morning, the rest of her day reflects that positivity back to her. Life just gets better when one cultivates a positive focus.
Coincidences don’t exist. Everything happening happens for good reasons. People can know what those reasons are. When they do, life turns into a fabulous experience wherein life reflects back to the experiencer wonderful insights and epiphanies.
The good news is, life wants everyone experiencing its wonders. That’s what the Charmed Life offers: a life where every moment contains delights and joys. When a person discovers that life, they recover their power. Then they can use that power to create even better life experiences.
Lovely evidence abounds
By the end of our session, my client felt much better about what he did. Not only did he get epiphanies I described above, he also realized he had plenty of time still to complete the exam. That’s something he couldn’t see while standing in his negative thoughts.
Standing in his negative thoughts he created a living hell where not only was he a bad person for spending hours on the couch, eating junk food, he also feared time to take the exam ran out. He was on the way to that self-fulfilling prophecy. Until he came to the session.
After the session the client felt so much better, he texted me. When the client’s text arrived, it didn’t surprise me. Instead, I basked in the acknowledgment it communicated as a reflection of my own inner state:
Then he followed that message up with this:
Proof in the pudding
A lot of spiritual paths exist. Which offer powerful approaches to connecting with the divine? I prefer relying on Nichiren Buddhism’s Three Proofs doctrine. As the name implies, it suggest a three-step verification process. With it, you can tell whether any spiritual path offers a valid way to spiritual awakening.
The first test is, does the spirituality’s teachings (translating loosely) accord with Universal Laws? Second, the test asks, does the teaching line up with reason and logic? Finally the test says, does the teaching bear out when put to the test? In other words, when you do what the teaching says, do you get the results the teaching says you’ll get?
Speaking about the Three Proofs, the founder of Nichiren Buddhism had this to say:
In judging the relative merit of [any spiritual path], I, Nichiren, believe that the best standards are those of reason and documentary proof. And even more valuable than reason and documentary proof is the proof of actual fact”
I agree. The most valuable evidence determining whether a spiritual path has any power lies in whether or not it does what it says it will do when you put it into action. I know the Positively Focused approach passes all three tests. My clients do too. After all, they’re getting great results!
But the result I love the most is the actual, factual proof I produce in my life, which gets confirmed when my clients produce similar results in theirs.
Theirs, like mine inspire. That inspiration is power. The power to create a happy life. A life I call the Charmed Life.
