How to keep your heart from breaking

No_More_Broken_Hearts 2
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

What is a broken heart? A broken heart is a mindset.

Society romanticizes broken hearts. Movies get made. Songs get sung. Getting hurt happens, right?

Not necessarily.

No one need ever experience a broken heart. Put your heart in the right place. It will never break again.

My recent relationship taught me that. 😂 ❤️👍🏾

· · ·

Lauren and I got acquainted when she contacted me online.

Mutual affection grew fast, as we had a lot in common. She’s trans. I’m Transamorous. We both shared art, love of music, philosophy, food and more.

But as intimacy grew, she got more nervous. The closer we got, the more uncomfortable she got.

I relish love. I relish love because I am love. Connected to my Inner Being, expressing unconditional love flows like breathing. So, naturally, I shared spontaneous appreciation for Lauren. I appreciated Lauren’s existence, her talent, and her strengths, especially strengths she developed as she’s accepted being trans.

For a while she appreciated all that.

Then it got too much for her.

No_More_Broken_Hearts 3
Relationships with other people get all the attention. The best relationship includes no one but you and you. (Photo by Alex Iby on Unsplash)

Relationships are nice-to-haves

I know if I’m patient, the Universe will show me everything I want. It will also show me reasons why I may not want what I have.

As my Broader Perspective connection strengthens, I desire human affection less. Connection to Broader Perspective showers me with an incredible, unconditional love. A love so deep and satisfying, relationships with other people get put in their proper place: as nice-to-haves, not as must haves.

There’s no forlornness when I’m not in a relationship because my Inner Being relationship dominates. It (my Inner Being) always floods me, its love so strong and overflowing and present, I never feel alone. I feel loved.

So I never feel yearning or that I’m missing out on love. My Broader Perspective’s unconditional love for me is enough. When it pores through me I become that. Pure love.

So why seek relationships with people when I become that which people crave from relationships?

Good question.

Thoughts make reality

My perspectives on human relationships changed since discovering my Inner Being. I yearned for them before. I felt incomplete without one. But yearning creates problems. In yearning I sow seeds of loss. Here’s how that works.

When I yearn for something, then get it, I fear I’m going to lose that for which I’ve yearned. Holding tight to what I’ve got for fear of losing it guarantees I will lose it. Holding something tight like that emphasizes its loss. Reality springs from thoughts.

Tightness in my body born of fear is reality. Physical sensations are real, right? So my thoughts about losing someone creates an incipient reality: a feeling. In this case “tightness”.

In that reality, my behavior reflects my fear. I say things consistent with fear. I interpret what I see from that fear. I may even start checking out relationship options. I hedge my bets.

Meanwhile my partner knows what’s up. They may not know it in their awareness, yet they still know. That’s why a partner might check your phone or email. A hunch will push through into their awareness. There are no secrets. We’re all one.

Unchecked my fear creates even more real, realities. This is called momentum. My partner may find my bet hedging, then get insecure. Before long tension grows. Fights happen. Mistrust grows. They might start bet-hedging. Then the breakup comes.

Untitled_Artwork 4
Reality springs from Inner Reality. It starts with thoughts, which draw themselves to perceivers “tuned in” to those thought frequencies. The rest happens automatically so long as perceivers stay tuned in. So reality perpetuates, thus creating eternity.

Thoughts come from somewhere

Inner reality is real. Where do you think thoughts come from? Thought is a physical reality.

Thoughts drive perception. Perception is reality too. Perception then drives behaviors. Behaviors are reality. Behaviors influence others and their behavior. Others cooperate with me helping create my reality. They act consistent with my thoughts.

So behaviors always match Inner Reality. Since reality springs from behavior, and behavior springs from perception, and perception springs from thoughts and thoughts come from Inner Reality, then my Inner Reality must become one’s physical reality starting with my thoughts.

That’s how it works.

I know how to create realities I want. My emotions guide me. The better I feel, the more I know my becoming reality includes my fulfilled desires. That’s because positive thoughts must become positive realities.

Strong connection with my Inner Being short circuits yearning, fear and insecurity, replacing them with appreciation and love. My job: staying there as best I can. I don’t always. But doing that consistent enough creates realities consistent with appreciation and love.

So if a partner chooses something other than a relationship with me, I see the former relationship in its proper perspective: a nice-to-have. Not so significant that I create realities consistent with painful loss. Were I to do that, I would experience a broken heart. For a broken heart is a physical reality (an emotion) triggered by thoughts consistent with “broken heart realities”.

No_More_Broken_Hearts 4
Even when you’re alone, you’re not. Love literally surrounds and moves through and in and out of you. (Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash)

 

Love happens best when alone

Human love can’t match Inner Being unconditional love. Moreover, another person can’t match all that my Inner Being gives me in its love for me. It literally gives me everything I want in wonderful, surprising ways and in perfect timing. I write about these in this blog.

Human relationships always come up short compared to that. That doesn’t make human relationships bad. They are what they are.

Love doesn’t come from another person. Love happens when, while with a person, I tune into thoughts that connect me with my Inner Being. It’s my Inner Being connection that triggers love. Not being in relationship. Which means, I can feel love outside relationship.

This puts relationships in a less triggering perspective. I conjure love at will. So if a relationship ends, it’s not the end of my love, or my world. And my heart breaks no more.

Untitled_Artwork 2
You’ll find no more broken hearts when you re-discover your relationship with you.

So when Lauren called distraught and in crisis about our relationship, I took it in stride. Despite all we had in common, despite being with someone who loved her, she focused on things she thought we didn’t share. Real things for her. Perception is reality. Her perception saw broken hearts in our future. That scared her.

  • She said long distance relationships were something she didn’t do. Yet, she was doing one.
  • She said I put too many expectations on her. I put no expectations on her. I only wanted to love her.
  • She said me telling her I loved her filled her with anxiety.
  • She said our relationship would fail.

I found it strange that the more I showered her with love the less she enjoyed us. I found it strange until she told me how people in her past said they loved her, but their behavior said otherwise. She doesn’t know that thoughts create reality. She doesn’t know other people act out what you’re thinking. They do that so your thoughts are “made real” for your examination. They’re made real so you can do something about them.

For me our relationship already succeeded and had no other choice but to succeed going forward. Where she saw “red flags”, I saw adventure and opportunity.

As I said, when one gets connected to one’s Inner Being, it will show that person why they may not want what they have. In her objections, Lauren showed me why Lauren may not be something I want. She wasn’t consistent with my “love vibration”. So she took herself out of my reality, leaving me free to love and be loved.

For me, relationship success looks like a relationship through which two parties are better off because of it. That means two find greater harmony with their Inner Beings by experiencing life with one another.

That’s what happened for me with Lauren. And so where is the case for failure, or a broken heart?

It’s easy to never have a broken heart again. It starts with prioritizing the one relationship that will never end, the one relationship through which I get everything I want, no matter what that is, and then some. That’s the relationship between me and me.

Standing there, I never lose love. Or anything else. It’s all gain. And my heart remains whole.

Open relationships: the best path to the one best relationship

Open relationships best relationship
Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash

The end of my marriage started with my wife wanting an open relationship. It was the best thing that happened in our marriage.

Through her desire for an open relationship, I found the best relationship ever.

Many people going through what I went through feel scared, or insecure or betrayed. I felt eagerness. What did I know that others don’t? Something extraordinary was happening.

Feeling fear, insecurity or betrayal, you miss the extraordinary.

I started Positively Focused so people could get what I got: When your partner wants an open relationship and you don’t, or vice versa, an extraordinary thing is happening.

Open relationships: either partner may want one

Many years ago, it was me who wanted an open relationship. My wife (now ex-wife) and I were in counseling, doing what many couples do: trying to fix things not needing fixing.

I married her because she needed to be married. I loved her, but that’s not why I married her. I didn’t want to be married.

She did not like not being married. I’m always the bridesmaid but never the bride, she’d say. Her mother convinced her she’d never get married. Her mother claimed her daughter had unlovable qualities. That’s accurate. But ironically, those qualities came from her mother.

I know now everyone chooses their parents. My then wife chose her’s and the path we walked together. She didn’t know this during our early years together. Neither did I.

SHAME 2
Photo by @plqml on Unsplash

Back then I thought “maybe I could help her get over this upbringing by doing the one thing that would show her mother she was wrong.” So I gave her what she wanted. A ring and a marriage.

It didn’t help. That complaint went away. But other things happening in my wife, and in me, made our relationship….let’s call it…typical.

For one, when we met, I was looking for a transgender partner. She was looking for a woman. I am out and proud about my trans-attraction, having created a website, The Transamorous Network. My online dating profile clearly expressed my preference.

She said she knew we were a match regardless.

That’s true. We weren’t a marriage match. We were a match for other reasons. Reasons driving us both towards our authentic selves.

I see that now. You are on the same path.

• • •

Don’t think this is unusual. Many things bring couples to the alter. My father, for example, once married a foreigner so she could stay in the US. I know a guy who married a transgender woman for the same reasons. They don’t live together. Never have.

A Transamorous Network client of mine, who is himself trans-attracted, knew he was trans-attracted well before marrying his cisgender wife. He married her anyway. He feared telling her the truth because he didn’t want to lose her. It’s not likely their counseling will fare any better than me and my ex-wife’s.

Many people marry while not wanting monogamy. But like my trans-attracted client, many people hide who they are out of insecurity or inauthenticity. Some people not wanting monogamy get married anyway. Marriage will test inauthenticity. My client couldn’t handle being inauthentic. So he (seemingly unwittingly) sabotaged his marriage. He hooked up with a trans sex worker who outed him on Facebook.

Your life experience trumps your marriage. It (your life experience) demands your authentic self. It finds ways around your inauthenticity so your authenticity can shine.

That’s the purpose of all human relationships: they point us to our authentic selves. They aren’t meant to give us love, belonging companionship and security, although some do temporarily. Relationships are processes. They’re verbs. Not nouns.

SHAME 3

Most believe relationships endure. “Death do us part” go the vows.

But relationships are “until growth do us part”. You may ask, growth towards what? Towards greater authenticity.

Some people understand this: relationships reflect who we as individuals are. They do that so we live authentically. Relationships represent physical examples of our inner ideals, concepts and beliefs about ourselves. Those ideals, concepts and beliefs get presented to us through our relationship dynamic, warts and all.

People get bored in their relationships because their relationships have become, as someone I respect says, “like gum you’ve chewed all the flavor out of.” When someone decides it’s time for a new piece of gum, relationship-wise, it means they’re growing into more of who they are.

Open relationships do what one-on-one relationships do, times 1,000.

SHAME 4
Photo by Claudia Wolff on Unsplash

One way or another it’s going to happen

While in counseling, I wanted my wife and I to explore open relationships together. But I knew back then she wasn’t ready. She was far too insecure to give that a try. Later, when she decided she was going to have an open relationship, it was no question whether we’d do it together. She was going to do it. Without me.

I think she justified her decision by first telling me I could sleep with whoever I wanted. I described how that happened here. It was effortless how it happened from my perspective.

But, by the time it happened, I was so far into the spiritual life evidenced by this blog, I wasn’t interested.

Instead, the growth that had my wife demand and act on her open relationship desires, flung me further into my relationship with my Inner BeingI haven’t looked back. And I regret none of the journey.

The best relationship I could ever want

My Inner Being relationship brings more satisfaction, joy, peace, security and a sense of invulnerability no other relationship can match. What’s more, my Inner Being relationship allows a reality, a life experience, in which everything I want comes so easily, it’s ridiculous. I write about these experiences in this blog.

SHAME 5
Photo by Hans Vivek on Unsplash

This Inner Being relationship enriches me spiritually too. New dimensions I discover about me and life astonish me daily. I can’t imagine a human-human relationship matching that.

What’s really interesting though is how much love I feel. I feel a total, unconditional love moving through me…for me…from me…from my Inner Being.

I get it now. Through my experience with my wife’s desire for an open relationship, I now have the best relationship I could ever want. It’s not with another person. It’s with me. The inevitability is clear. I got the best life through my wife having sex with other men.

These days, for me, people relationships pale in comparison to the relationship I have with me.

Think about it: what human being can and will give me literally whatever I want? No one!

What relationship with another human can give me the unconditional love I feel from my Inner Being? A wife is not going to do that. A husband won’t. It’s not another person’s job to orchestrate the Universe in ways that bring me what I want. Or to give me unconditional love.

Love I might get from people can’t match what I get from my Inner Being. My Inner Being relationship makes being in relationship with another person…well, not as high-falutin’ as society makes it.

I know that’s because generally, people don’t understand love, let alone why we have emotions in the first place. They don’t understand unconditional love. Another person will never love you unconditionally.

Why? It’s not their job.

A lot of relationships are based on that premise though. That’s what relationship failure looks like before a relationship fails – people looking for (unconditional) love in the wrong place: other people.

You get that from yourself. Not others. Getting lasting, inexhaustible love from yourself not only is easy, with results that are immediate, it’s also fun. You’d think it magical, if it weren’t so eminently logical. It starts with being Positively Focused.

Many people going through what I went through feel scared, insecure, betrayed or some other negative emotion. They don’t know something extraordinary can come from what’s happening. So they get pain and frustration instead of joy and freedom.

Which is why I started Positively Focused.

When your partner wants an open relationship and you don’t, or when you want one and they don’t, you’ve come to a crossroads. What happens next can be extraordinary.

 

Bonus content:

After writing this I received a question: “But what if I want to keep my marriage?”

The answer is, “That depends on how you think about marriage”. You can keep your marriage. But not if you think that means it stays how it was, with the person you’re with.

Marriage brings comfort, security, peace, relief from being alone, perhaps, companionship, and sexual satisfaction (for a while). But a person doesn’t need “marriage” or a relationship to have these things. In fact, relying on another (through a relationship) to get these things is a sure recipe to sooner or later, lose them.

The best place to get these things is from yourself. When you do, people relationships that come through that connection are far stronger and more satisfying.

Remember, your marriage or any relationship reflects back to you stories you’re telling that create the marriage. Fixing your marriage doesn’t work if you’re oblivious to stories you’re telling that create the marriage you have.

If you leave your current relationship or marriage for another, while not doing anything about the stories, you’re just going to get more of what you had. Only with a different person. Or a number of different persons. Open relationships don’t solve anything. Nothing needs solving.

Stories create reality. Change reality by changing stories you tell about reality. Including the reality that is your marriage.

Want to know more? Write me. 

 

How To Create Your Perfect Relationship In No Time, Part 2

 

Untitled_Artwork 21

Welcome back.

Last time I wrote about Joe (not his real name) a client who met his ideal match in a transgender woman. Joe was excited about this. He felt the Universe designed this gathering.

It did.

But the “why” wasn’t what Joe thought.

This post details what happened after Joe’s initial excitement and enthusiasm. It also sheds more light on our framework. Why it is so powerful. And why we guarantee our results.

Let’s get started.

• • •

By his ninth session, Joe’s enthusiasm disappeared. He was low-energy. Not the excited person from our cancelled seventh session.

Turns out Cassandra (not her real name either), the transgender woman he met, hadn’t spoken to him in a while. Despondent, Joe had all kinds of negative explanations about why. Explanations about the experience. Explanations about himself. Negative explanations about the Positively Focused approach.

Joe’s grumpiness matched all these beliefs. He thought something went wrong with the framework.

Untitled_Artwork 22

Nothing went wrong.

Instead, Joe’s life experience showed him what he must change if he wants his ideal partner. The key to Joe finding his perfect relationship is, he must become a match to that relationship.

Joe is not yet a match to what he wants. So he drew to himself someone who matches where he is now. The gift of this perfect relationship connection is, it showed this to him.

The framework works. That doesn’t mean Joe liked what he saw.

Had he been able to, he would have benefitted even more from the experience.

Life is eternal. You always get more chances so nothing is lost. Nothing goes wrong. Ever.

The relationship with Cassandra didn’t show up as the relationship Joe wanted. But it did show Joe many of his disempowering beliefs.

And it showed him how his relationship behavior matches those beliefs.

For example, Joe moved too fast. His beliefs about relationship scarcity had him cling to this relationship. As if there weren’t going to be any others.

Out of his desperation to have a relationship, he asked Cassandra if she was seeing anyone else, implying energetically, of course, that he’d prefer he be the only one she was seeing.

After all, he wasn’t seeing anyone elseBut the reason he wasn’t seeing anyone else wasn’t because he had other opportunities. It’s because he is grasping desperately for THE relationship. Instead of enjoying life. He’s also focused on the absence of relationships.

So he doesn’t have any.

When Cassandra said she was seeing others, Joe played it off. But it was obvious in our call that answer was not the right one. It did match Joe’s beliefs though. 😃

• • •

Beliefs create reality. Belief momentum can’t be avoided. That’s not how life works.

To slow old belief momentum, a person must create new beliefs. New beliefs which, over time, will build enough momentum in their own right. Meanwhile, old belief momentum deactivates. They have less effect on reality. Including one’s behaviors.

Untitled_Artwork 23

Joe didn’t focus on new beliefs after that exchange. That focus takes effort, which is why we offer our framework. Joe is only starting. So he doesn’t realize yet how to check in with his emotions early enough to halt old belief momentum.

It’s a rare skill among people. Hardly anyone has the discipline and rigor to do such work on their own. Hardly anyone understands why we have emotions in the first place. We offer our framework for that reason.

So rather than focusing on new beliefs he is working on in our sessions, Joe allowed his old ones to continue creating his reality.

Disappointment he felt isn’t about how the relationship turned out (it ended). Although that’s what Joe thinks is the reason he’s disappointed.

He feels disappointment (and frustration and sadness and impatience) because he’s focusing on his reality. The reality his old beliefs are creating.  Realities not matching what he wants.

Again, Joe is just starting. So he doesn’t get how important it is to understand the purpose of emotions. So instead of using his emotions the way they’re intended, he tries to behave in spite of them.

Meanwhile, his behavior faithfully creates outcomes matching his old beliefs.

For example, one night frustrated in not hearing from Cassandra, Joe drunk-dialed her.

That didn’t go well.

Drunk-dialing is a classic knee-jerk reaction to strong negative emotions triggered by negative beliefs about relationships playing out in physical reality. Thinking that behavior brings relief, people drink to numb the emotion.

But alcohol amplifies negative emotion. It adds momentum to beliefs. That momentum draws to it beliefs like it. Beliefs are living things. Not just words. Beliefs like company. They draw to themselves beliefs like themselves. That’s how Belief Constellations happen.

That’s also why drinking to numb pain usually begins a downward spiral. When it comes to a “failed” relationship, that spiral often includes drunk-dialing.

Remember, in the last post I cautioned Joe about what was happening. I said Cassandra was a perfect match to Joe’s beliefs. That she is a perfect match is an excellent indicator.

remember

What do I mean by that?

I mean, Joe got to see exactly how his beliefs create his reality. A reality which includes transgender women not all that interested in Joe for Joe.

To Joe, she seemed interested. At first. But later she wasn’t.

• • •

By our ninth session, Joe was not in a good place at all. He couldn’t see the extraordinary benefit of a relationship like the one he got.

One day, Cassandra contacted him after a long absence. He said she asked him to pay for something for her. Joe didn’t have the money. He hasn’t heard from her since telling her so.

Of course, Joe’s old beliefs showed up again. “That’s all she wanted me for”, He told me during our session.

That belief can be extended more broadly about all his relationships with transgender women, women who usually are sex workers.

Joe left session nine pretty negative.

If Joe continues the work, this could be a turning point for him. His beliefs are screaming out loud. Now that he has some grounding in how beliefs create reality, he is getting first hand experience in his own living laboratory how beliefs do that.

He’s not happy about that.

But this is the process. It’s how it works.

I reminded Joe his unhappiness is an emotion telling him something important. It’s telling him his beliefs about this situation aren’t consistent with what’s really happening.

Again, of course, Joe didn’t want to hear this. He defended his beliefs as “true”, which they are. But he refused to understand that they are only true because his beliefs have created a reality consistent with them. They are no more true than any other belief he might tell often enough to create momentum and a new reality consistent with that.

And that is the work. Using one’s life experience as a living laboratory, our framework shows clients how to tell new stories. New stories told frequent enough so they become beliefs. When that happens, one’s reality changes to match the new stories.

Then they have a new truth. A life experience that contains everything they want.

Including their ideal partner.

Joe is continuing the work. We’ll see whether his relationship with Cassandra was the last one he’ll let his old stories dictate.

How To Create Your Perfect Relationship In No Time, Pt. 1

Untitled_Artwork 19

In only six sessions learning the Positively Focused approach, a client of ours created the perfect relationship with his ideal woman.

In this post and the next, I’ll dissect what happened. This is how it can happen for anyone. In the next post, I’ll detail what happened next.

Joe (not his real name), contacted us through our free 1:1 offer. Like many clients, he desperately wants a relationship with a specific kind of woman. Desperation is not a great place from which to meet someone.

But it is a great place to examine your stories. And how your reality reflects back to you stories you’re telling.

Information Joe got from the free 1:1 convinced him the next step was worth the money. So he engaged us in our 1:1 offer.

• • •

The first few sessions involved exploring beliefs producing behaviors he didn’t like. He frequents working girls late at night or in early morning dark hours.

Some of these girls were/are drug-addicted. Others treated him like crap. Others treated him nicely. He has a mix of experiences reflecting his mix of beliefs about relationships and life, and women too. About himself too.

We explored how his beliefs create these experiences. Joe realized beliefs he didn’t know he had. Beliefs triggering desperation he felt about finding a partner. The same beliefs creating his experiences with women, including the kinds of women he met.

Desperation isn’t new to Joe. Some times in his life desperation (and the associated emotion “pain”) got so intense he contemplated suicide. Alongside relationship desperation, Joe also feels desperation about his life, his job and about himself. Beliefs triggering these feelings include one common to A LOT of people. That belief is “I’m not worthy of having what I want.”

• • •

I know how deep beliefs can be. They connect with other beliefs, creating Belief Constellations or weaving through and shaping life experience.

It wasn’t surprising then when I found through our next sessions that Joe’s mother herself was and may still be drug addicted. She also had a working girl past.

No one comes into life experiences that are “too much to handle”. Everyone chooses the experience they get before they get it. Hardly anyone understands this.

At Positively Focused, we help people understand why and how that is. Then we show them how to use that awareness to get joy and satisfaction from life and relationships. The same joy and satisfaction they knew they would get when they chose human life experience.

Beliefs create our reality. This includes beliefs we focus on before becoming human. These beliefs set up birth circumstances. Including the parents we are born to.

I explained why a person like Joe would come into the world through a parent who has sex work and drug addiction as part of her life experience. I described how those experiences create momentum. And how that momentum creates the reality he has. It wasn’t an easy conversation. But Joe got it.

Untitled_Artwork 20

I know when you pull at one belief, many others get uncovered. By our fifth session, Joe realized more long-running beliefs. Beliefs about his unworthiness as a person. Beliefs about how the women he wants won’t accept him for who he is and what he has (and doesn’t have). Beliefs about feeling stuck in his job. Feeling shame about where he is in life.

In other words, beliefs a lot of humanity secretly shares. Some beliefs you may share.

What’s great about this work is, once beliefs get uncovered, sometimes they start resolving on their own. They kind of lose their grip when exposed to the light of conscious awareness. Automatically, again in some cases, new beliefs get born from that exposure. Those new beliefs can create explosive positive results.

That’s what happened to Joe.

• • •

Before our sixth session, Joe texted me. He said he needed to cancel our meeting. I asked why. He explained he met a woman, was going on a daytime date with her and was excited about the potential. A daytime date was unusual for Joe. As I said, he typically meets women at night.

Screen Shot 2019-09-02 at 13.44.59 PM

“Yes I’m actually hanging out with a new trans woman friend of mine,” he said via text. “We met Tuesday and hung out a couple of times and have been talking since. I like her a lot. She’s treats me well.”

I wasn’t surprised by this. This is how things work when someone starts seriously looking at their beliefs. But I was also concerned about Joe.

That’s because Joe got results we promise. But he doesn’t know something important. His old beliefs are still active in his life experience. So it’s a sure bet this transgender woman he met has her own beliefs. Beliefs matching Joe’s. Beliefs she may not be aware of.

So I clued him in:

remember

 

Joe responded that he already has been seeing some of those signs. That’s why, he wrote, “I’m working to be the best version of myself. The work that you and I are doing is working!!! 😀”

Screen Shot 2019-09-02 at 13.46.38 PM

Joe said when they first talked, they realized they both needed each other.

“I know the Universe orchestrated our meeting,” he wrote. “I was finishing up at a warehouse where I picked up a load and she was finishing work around the same time and we were really near one another….”

Screen Shot 2019-09-02 at 13.46.23 PM

Joe added that he already can see how his beliefs about women have changed because, he said, “along with being very kind and cool person, she has a good job, makes good money and has a nice place in a nice neighborhood.”

Indeed.

I know the Positively Focused approach is not mainstream. That’s why Positively Focused  guarantees results. Joe’s example is normal. Anyone can meet their match and enjoy a relationship that works for them. It just takes changing your beliefs so that you can meet the person you want. The person who is waiting for you. Your perfect match.

But so is everything else you’ve wanted in life. Minus the struggle. Minus the sacrifice.