I love working with my clients. I love it when they offer open doors through which come amazing insights. I know beliefs create my reality. I show my clients how this works. From that, they get amazing lives. Sometimes that’s immediate. Other times, it takes awhile. But everyone gets it. What delights me most is when I delight myself with what comes out of my mouth, or in this case, my fingers…lol.…
Last month, in cahoots with Inner Being, I realized over $10,000 in project funding. Rendezvousing with that money came surprisingly and delightfully, which is how “right timing” always feels.
Between jobs last month and with COVID-19 shutting down job opportunities, I slowed down looking for work. In that space, I realized what I wanted more than a job paying the bills, was my projects paying the bills.
But existing stories about my projects paying my bills created ongoing nows consistent with them. That’s why I needed work. I didn’t believe my projects could pay my bills. So that’s the reality I got.
• • •
Earlier this month, I decided I would allow those stories a path out of my awareness. Doing that, I knew they would no longer influence my Moment of Becoming.
Do that long enough, I knew, and stories consistent with my desires would show their momentum. My awareness would expand towards that and, in time, I would experience reality consistent with new stories, instead of what is.
That’s what I started two weeks ago. On Day one, determination reigned. By Day 12, old stories re-asserted themselves. All stories or beliefs or thoughts enjoy leaning toward their fullest expression. Once in the head, getting them out takes work, unless I know what to do, which I do, so it’s not work. It’s easy.
My old stories reveled in my then what was. The more I looked for work, the stronger their momentum. Their revelry felt like pressure, fear and anxiety in me. Leading up to Day 12 I entertained thoughts like these:
I gotta get a job. My savings are running out.
I should take whatever I can get.
If I don’t take this job, there may not be others.
I’m in competition with others for jobs I want.
But then I reminded myself that I create my reality. Thoughts don’t create my reality. I do, by thinking thoughts. That means I can choose thoughts I think. Choose thoughts that feel good and I know by my good feelings, realities consistent with what my Inner Being has in store for me will become my reality.
That’s what I did. I chose thoughts that feel good. “Thoughts that feel good” sounded like this:
I don’t need to take any of these jobs I feel “blah” about
There are plenty of jobs available for me…
I’m not competing for the job that’s for me. It’s only for me.
My Inner Being knows the best job for me.
I’ll wait for that best job.
But then, something happened. I began thinking totally different thoughts, thoughts that felt even better!
I don’t want a job!
I enjoy working on my projects.
Why can’t my projects pay my bills?
I want that reality!
Working on my projects full time feels fun!
That was around Day six. Between Day six and Day 12, old belief constellations reasserted themselves several times each day. They (those beliefs) popped into my head under their own momentum.
Thankfully, I trained myself into monitoring my feelings. Any time I felt bad, I knew old stories popped up, even if I didn’t know what thoughts I thought at that time. Negative emotion usually came when my attention slipped into the future. That’s a no-no because when thinking about a future I want I easily slip into thinking about the “how” and the “when”. How will my projects sustain me? When will that happen? Will it happen before I run out of money?
Those thoughts always conjured negative emotion.
Sometimes I knew what thoughts I thought. Other times, I didn’t. Either way, anytime I felt negative emotion, I pulled my attention back into the now, then focused on the positive beliefs.
When I couldn’t shift my thinking because momentum had too much strength, I took a nap, or did something I enjoy: watch a favorite movie or take a walk.
By Day 14, I had done a lot of all that. I felt good.
On Day 14, I had wonderful dreams and epiphanies I journaled about. Then, one of my Positively Focused clients sent a message on WhatsApp. He’s not only a client, he’s keen about Copiosis, one of my projects. He’s given money to that organization before.
It just so happened, I launched a social media advertising strategy earlier in the week for that project. So I had plenty to show him. The progress excited him. So much so, he said he would give me more money to run that organization. Then he said to use the rest of his gift to fund my living expenses so I could work full time on my projects.
How much was “the rest”? Nine thousand, eight hundred and eighty dollars! I walked right into my desired reality. I withdrew most of that, but kept some in Bitcoin.
• • •
Here’s the thing about all this. That money is great. Now I don’t need a job. It will fund my living expenses for most of the rest of the year. More money is coming, I’m sure.
But what’s more thrilling is what I experienced on the way to this money. The deliberate focus. The lining up with my Inner Being. Clarity coming from that. Positive, wonderful, ecstatic feelings that come from that clarity. Every moment I stayed in the present moment, the Moment of Becoming, I enjoyed throughly. In other words, most of that time I was happy. I’m happy still.
Those times I didn’t I stay in the Moment of Becoming, I see as beneficial too. Without them, I couldn’t tell that I wasn’t in the Moment of Becoming. So even those times benefitted me. 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾
Getting the $10K is great. But desire fulfillment lasts hardly as long as the anticipation, the joyful expectations, the pleasure that is knowing it’s on its way, and seeing the signs as I move toward that fulfilled desire. Since I’m eternal, new desires will always spring up. So I’ll always be on the way to one desire or another.
That means, life gets mostly lived on a journey towards someplace. Every time I arrive, arrival births new desire. Which is why I know this: Life is about the journey. Not the manifestation.
I need trust when there’s no evidence. But there’s evidence everywhere that I create the life I live. It’s important knowing where evidence is. That way I see it.
Evidence is all around me. The more I see, the more I see. There is overwhelming evidence. The only thing keeping me from seeing all that evidence is me.
More specific: What keeps me from seeing all the evidence are old beliefs I keep alive in my Moment of Becoming. Beliefs contrary to what I now know.
When these old beliefs, these old stories stay active, I don’t see the evidence. That’s because these old beliefs say “‘you create your reality’ is bullshit”.
They say my birth was a random chance of molecular and genetic predisposition. They say the universe is uncaring and objective, separate from me. They say I must do as others do to get what I want. They say I’m not unique. I’m not powerful. That I’m not eternal. That I am a small speck.
I know these stories are petering out in me. But their echos remain like ghosts. I know they’re still around, even though evidence supporting them is less visible. I know they’re still around because of how I feel sometimes.
I don’t feel this way as much as I feel ecstasy though. These days ecstasy predominates.
But I know those old beliefs are still there. Because I sometimes feel a sliver of negative emotion. Standing there, in those stories, trust is needed.
Because there, I can’t see evidence telling me I create reality. Even though the evidence literally is right in my face.
Knowing where the evidence is, finding it regularly, seeing it in great big piles makes trusting unnecessary. That’s why I don’t need trust. I know.
Evidence “I create my reality” dominates. How else can it be?
• • •
Maybe, because people don’t know how to see the evidence, they create stories like “it doesn’t work” or “it’s bullshit”. Or, they call it “wishful thinking”.
Here’s the irony: It is working for these people too. Evidence is all around them.
That it’s not working is the evidence.
It looks like “it doesn’t work” because the story “it doesn’t work” creates life experience confirming that. 🤷🏽♂️
Stand in “It doesn’t work” then look for evidence of it working. Life will show you it’s not working. But that’s what you’re creating. So that’s what you’re seeing: it not working. And it working.
If you don’t know how to see the evidence, you’ll feel insecure, powerless and other negative emotions. You might get angry, or indignant. You’ll think you’re right. You’ll write blogs sharing your righteousness. You’ll post “Stories” on Facebook and Instagram. You’ll have facts. And, of course, you will be right.
But you’re also not. Life experience created from any attitude (where you stand) matches that attitude. So you are right.
But you’re also not, because the life experience you’re creating is proving what you think. Thus, it is proving “it works” and “it doesn’t work” AT THE SAME TIME 😂😂😂
Negative emotions are strong. Let’s say someone stands in the attitude “it doesn’t work”. Then they look for evidence it does work as a way of trying to prove it doesn’t. In other words, they’re not really looking for evidence it does work. They’re looking for evidence confirming their attitude, which looks like the absence of evidence that it’s working.
When a person does that, they experience a range of emotions. Collectively it may feel like “disbelief” or “doubt”. Even “foolishness”. Foolishness sounds like this:
“I can’t believe I even tried to prove this shit works. I’m an idiot!”
Feeling doubt, the no-evidence-seer will draw to them all kinds of other stories/beliefs. Stories that reinforce their original story. The no-evidence-seer will then act in reinforcing ways. Including telling more stories which create more evidence of it not working. They’ll also draw to them people telling like stories. For the most part, that’s what science does when it considers this subject. 😂
For example, someone who believes science has all the answers might scoff to a friend about what happened. The friend may agree with the no-evidence-seer, themselves being one who also puts great weight in science. Such agreement reinforces the first no-evidence-seer’s beliefs.
What happens eventually is, no-evidence-seers live their lives in insecurity and powerlessness, aka “doubt”. Then they make things happen the hard way: Through effort, struggle, sacrifice.
I know. I was one of those people.
They don’t believe they create their reality. So they look to other people for guidance, advice, what success looks like, what love looks like, what happiness looks like. They don’t know they feel powerless or insecure most of the time because such feelings feel normal to them. Which is why ecstasy feels so extraordinary when it happens. Usually during sex. Or a wonderful meal. But hardly ever any other time.
It’s ironic because ecstasy is supposed to be the dominant life experience.
Insecurity and powerlessness tell the person feeling them something. But the no-evidence-seer misses that message. So, they get lost in the spectacle of a willy-nilly created life. Random lives. Lives where dreams die. Where mediocrity predominates.
There’s nothing wrong with that. Statistically, it’s the average person’s life. And eventually everyone sees the evidence. Everyone sees it the moment they die.
That’s not my path though.
Isee evidence everywhere. So I’m clear. I’m ecstatic about All That Is, about life, about my life, about me.
I need trust in the absence of evidence.
But I have plenty evidence.
So I don’t need trust.
Addendum:While editing this story, Apple Music played a song by Nina Simone. It’s called “Feeling Good”. The lyrics are appropriate given what I’ve shared here. I’m feeling good. You can too…
Birds flying high you know how I feel
Sun in the sky you know how I feel
Breeze driftin’ on by you know how I feel
It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life for me yeah
And I’m feeling good
Fish in the sea, you know how I feel
River running free, you know how I feel
Blossom on the tree, you know how I feel
It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life
And I’m feeling good
Dragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean, don’t you know
Butterflies all havin’ fun, you know what I mean
Sleep in peace when day is done, that’s what I mean
And this old world, is a new world
And a bold world for me,
And I’m feeling good
Stars when you shine, you know how I feel
Scent of the pine, you know how I feel
Oh freedom is mine
And I know how I feel
It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life
We’ve been told to work hard. But the very successful don’t become successful through hard work. Even though they too fall into this mythical power of “working hard.”
Work-hard believers point to people like Michael Jordan, Ray Kroc, Thomas Edison and the like, as people who worked hard to get their rewards.
But all of these people, including other very successful people aren’t working very hard. What they are doing is doing the thing that lights their fire.
That’s what keeps a person willing to work all day and night. They aren’t doing that because they want the end goal. They are focused in the now, engaged in a seeming unlimited source of energy born of the connection with their passion and their focus.
In that, they find the delicious experience of flow.
Combat soldiers in the heat of battle get the same experience. They are so focused in the now, their reflexes, attention and abilities are heightened. And they can continue that way for long periods.
This connection is nothing more than the feeling one gets when the human being and its “larger self” are in direct communication. Whether you’re shooting hoops, planning and executing on a business strategy, exploring the limits of electricity, or trying to stay alive when others are trying to kill you, the connection and the indicator of that connection are the same: an intoxicating feeling of aliveness.
But you don’t have to go to Fallujah, create a massive company, or invent a new technology to have this experience. This experience is available to all. And no matter what happens when one’s alive, everyone gets it after death.
But you don’t have to wait to die to have it either.
The great thing is, tapping into it now, while you’re still alive, creates a life experience unparalleled by anything else.
And it’s guaranteed that if you can relax into it, and soothe your indoctrination that hard work is the key to success, you get all you want.