I know what I want, when I get it, makes me happy. I also know when I’m happy I set up more future happy moments.
But since every time I get what I want, I am happy, I can just be happy, even when I’m not getting what I want.
I can be happy now, no matter what is happening.
This is the basis of our work at Positively Focused. I know when I put my happiness first, by telling stories about my life that make me happy, I put myself on a path to living a happy life. That’s because a happy life looks like feeling happy in every moment.
What happens in my life, when I’m not deliberate about choosing happiness, determines how I feel. But life doesn’t have to be that way. I can turn it around. I can choose to be happy, no matter what I’m experiencing, then experience good things always.
I know when I do that my life fills with happy experiences. I know this because I’ve tried it and it has always worked out that way. I also know this because my Positively Focused clients get exactly the same results.
It’s a bit more complicated than that, but in a short while, I’ve created a life filled with happy experiences. So have my clients.
So this holiday season, I appreciate what I’ve realized: That life is happy when I am happy. And the happier I am, the more my life shapes to my happiness. In my happiness, I don’t need my life to change. But because I’m not focused on my life needing to change, because I’m not telling stories about how bad my life is, my life changes.
It’s a paradox, but it’s true.
I’m grateful for what I’ve discovered. And I’m loving seeing people who have come to me seeking relief from anxiety, insecurities, shame and other life problems, find relief and more, simply by telling better stories.
I appreciate knowing life is supposed to be fun, joyful and filled with fulfilled desires. I appreciating having such a life. And I appreciate sharing what I know with others, then seeing their life turn out that way too.
Positive focus creates positive experiences. Consistent positive focus triggers momentum, both in focus and in more positive experiences.
Simple tests prove this. One need not understand or believe metaphysical explanations. It happens anyway. The more I focus on positive things, the more positive things happen.
So why do many people focus negatively? I’m not going to answer that question, although I know the answer.
Instead let’s look at this one: Why does positive focus work?
When positive focus becomes chronic, human senses filter out anything not consistent with that focus. Our senses filter experience all day every day, allowing only experiences consistent with our persistent beliefs.
The reason people experience things they would say are “negative” AND “positive” too is usually they have both positive and negative beliefs in their Belief Constellations. So their filters allow in evidence of both.
Random negative experiences, such as getting robbed or raped or hit by a bus, aren’t random. They come from long-term focus, specific focus that feels like “fear”, “insecurity”, “worry” or “victimhood”. Often such feelings get past one’s perception because one focuses too much on what’s happening outside their head.
Focus works best when it predominantly focuses on what’s happening inside one’s head first, since everything happening outside one’s head springs from what happens inside one’s head.
Negativity owes itself to positivity
Very few people are chronically positive. There are many chronically negative people though. Everyone’s life matches their chronic focus.
But even negative people from time to time experience positive experiences. They do because a little positivity overwhelms tons of negativity. Negative “energy” isn’t an energy. Negative “energy” is what happens when positive energy diminishes.
In other words, negative “energy” owes its existence to its relativity to positive energy. It has no substance, no independent existence of its own. It is defined by a lack of positivity.
What’s more, a chronically negative person still is, at the core, pure positive energy. That energy, no matter how obscured it may be by negative focus, still overcomes negative focus when from time to time negative-focused people drop their guards.
When daydreaming, asleep or doing something “mindless” such as driving, taking a shower or experiencing something fun, positive focus’ power eeks through. That’s why a negative person can sometimes experience positive experiences.
Positive benefits feel fun
When I’m positive and excited by positive things, when I’m enthusiastic and eager about what I’m up to (or planning), I open up.
I’m open to possibility, I see things consistently-negative people can’t. The world reveals its delights. When I stay positive, I produce results effortlessly. What I want happens easier and faster. More important, on the way to those outcomes, I enjoy life more. Life experience becomes more entertaining, more fun, more positive.
While Positively Focused, “happy accidents” some people call “luck”, happen often. It’s not luck, but who cares what it’s called? Such events include problems solving themselves quickly and easily compared to focusing on the problem, trying to find a solution, or trying make a solution work.
When negative, one sees more negativity. Such focus turns things into “intractable problems.” When someone filters life through negative beliefs, the sheer enormity of bad things in the world overwhelms awareness.
Standing in overwhelm, feeling hopeless, helpless, anxiety and even despair seems normal, even though those feelings should never happen.
Overwhelming problems such as climate change, institutional racism, pandemics, wildfires, etc. can be and are harbingers of enormous opportunity, not signs of how fucked up the world is. To one who only sees problems, these seemingly insolvable situations become species-ending phenomena, even though they aren’t.
That’s incredibly naive
Someone reading this may not believe what they just read. The majority of people believe these things are overwhelming, species-ending problems.
I know though that one person with enough positive focus momentum is more powerful than millions without that momentum. Such a person births solutions before now unheard of, even while not involving themselves in the solution process.
Evidence in my life proves my Positively Focused practice creates the Charmed Life I describe in this blog.
Yes, many will disagree with this post’s premise. The Positively Focused person, however, doesn’t need or care about other people’s opinions, nor does such a person need others’ validation or agreement.
So disagreement is irrelevant to one who creates reality. She knows her life experience springs ongoingly from her, not others. So she focuses on the one thing that really matters: her focus, not what others say, do or believe.
Here’s the critical thing about being negative: It’s very hard to turn that train around. A life-long “realistic”, pessimistic or negative person may feel right about the world they experience. And they will be right.
They’ll be right because life experience springs from their beliefs. That doesn’t mean an alternative experience, one contrary to everything a pessimistic person believes, doesn’t exist or can’t become that person’s reality.
Momentum is momentum though. It takes a lot of work initially reversing negative-focus momentum. Since Charmed Lives are possible for everyone, that work pales in comparison to benefits derived, making the effort worth it.
Desires fulfilling themselves.It’s a life available to anyone, because everyone at their core is Positively Focused. It’s worth it. It’s fun and it’s everyone’s birthright.
Not living one’s birthright, in my opinion, is living. But just barely.
When I do, I realize a reality matching that. I also open doors through which I discover what humans rarely do while embodied. Dazzling dreams, dazzling angels who all love me, dazzling things I’m up too, all striking my fancy, delicious sights and sounds and experiences, a veritable smorgasbord of wonder and joy.
That shouldn’t be surprising. When I fill my head with positive thoughts, I tune myself so only positive experiences spring from my consciousness. All I experience springs from my consciousness and so with my consciousness full of positive thoughts, shouldn’t my experiences reflect that? And since it is so “as it is on Earth, so in Heaven” my nonphysical awareness tunes to that same orientation.
In this way, living or dying, awake or asleep, life I create matches my focus. I love positive focus because of how it feels and because of what I experience when I’m there.
My life proves what my mentors say over and over:
The thoughts that you think will – wanted or not wanted – eventually become manifestation if your vibrational accord is sufficient enough… And so, you could say, as you’re launching thoughts of appreciation and things that make you feel good, that you’re filling your Vibrational Escrow full of all kinds of things that are going to please you when you get there.
Three weeks ago I wrote how every negative situation is positive. Well this week brought such a crazy-ass example of that, I shared it with all my clients. Now I want to share it with you.
This story is hilarious. I almost wrote “unflattering”, but you’ll see at the end that this story flatters me in the sense that I saw how this infuriating situation was also a massive blessing.
Summer’s sun, blue skies and Oregon’s hot breezy air called me out again last weekend. I love working outside along the Willamette River shores. I enjoy Ospreys above and salmon jumping skyward likely avoiding sea lions and their chisel like teeth.
I decided I wanted more of that, so I packed my bike. I packed light, my portable chair, my iPad and nothing more. I planned to finish reading Ross Douthat’s The Decadent Society, its insightful take on current reality had my attention for weeks now. I anticipated exploring Douthat’s take while enjoying the Oregon summer.
The usual spot I work from on summer Oregon days…by the Willamette’s beautiful shores…
That’s not what happened though
Oregon’s governor recently eased lockdown mandates. With her decree, all of Oregon made similar plans. I expected a few people riverside, but wasn’t prepared for crowds that showed up.
A forty minute bike ride turned into an hour while I tried finding suitable, solitary rest stop. I finally decided on a rocky shore devoid of human for lack of any sand. But I had my chair. I didn’t need sand.
I parked my bike, set up my chair then settled into Douthat’s narrative. Thirty minutes later, a couple with two dogs showed up. The young, tattooed Portlanders led their dogs to the water’s edge, unleashed them and threw tennis balls into the river. The larger of the two dogs, a pit-bull, leapt into the water while its smaller puppy companion barked in envy. Then the puppy eased into the water, found it agreeable and went for a swim. I smiled then turned back to Douthat.
Minutes later, the puppy was licking at my bare legs. I’m not a dog person, but I can appreciate a cute pooch. On this day though, I just wanted to read in quiet on a beautiful day. It annoyed me that this dog suddenly was licking my leg. But what annoyed me more was the fact that its owner hadn’t done his legal duty of keeping his dog under control.
I lifted my legs away from the pooch, clearly annoyed, which the owner saw. He came bounding to my rescue, scooped up his dog with an apology and returned to his spot. There, he put it on a leash. His partner too re-leashed the Pit-bull.
All that was nice. But it was too late.
I got hooked in frustration-momentum
Momentum is a powerful thing. Especially negative momentum born of oft-told stories. I’ve harbored negative stories about dog owners who don’t keep their dogs leashed and therefore under control as leash laws mandate. So much so it’s one of my “pet peeves” (oh god! no pun intended!).
Recently when I read about a “Karen” from Central Park Manhattan who made a racist false police report against a fellow New Yorker who politely asked her to leash her dog in an area where a leash law was in force. The fellow New Yorker, a board member of the New York City Audubon Society who happens to be African American, recorded the whole incident. The recording went viral and popular outrage caused the woman to lose her job and her dog. Reportedly, New York is considering banning her permanently from Central Park and the District Attorney is considering pressing charges against her for making a false police report.
This story came to mind as that puppy slimed me. When its owner grabbed it and apologized, I mused whether he also thought about that Central Park incident.
The problem was, I didn’t shake the association, which would have been in my best interest. Comparing my experience to what happened to the Audubon Board Member wasn’t really fair. But old stories about my pet peeve combined with that viral Central Park experience in my head creating momentum that swept me up.
For the next half hour I couldn’t focus on my reading. My mind swirled around the association, my indignation, my annoyance and frustration….
I don’t hate dogs. Dogs love me as much as I love them…sometimes…🤣
What happened next was no surprise
The couple decided to pack up and leave, having I suppose, had enough time at the water’s edge. As they walked to the bike path, I heard the woman say to someone I couldn’t see “Sir, would you mind leashing your dog?”
The irony didn’t escape me. “Cosmic Justice” I thought. Little did I know said justice was just getting started…
I couldn’t hear the what the person she addressed said, but I heard what she was saying. I also got the annoyance in her tone:
“Why aren’t you willing to put your dog on a leash sir?” She asked. I turned, hoping to see who she addressed. I couldn’t see that person. She continued.
“My dog isn’t friendly,” she said. The person said something I didn’t hear.
“How many years have you been around my dog sir?” She replied. “I’m telling you my dog is not friendly.”
Apparently whoever she addressed had done nothing, so she reached down, picked up what looked like a 40 pound pit-bull and scrambled over rocks the rest of the way to the bike path with her male companion in tow.
I was thinking about karmic kickback, wondering how the couple felt now since they themselves hadn’t controlled their (little) dog. Which is why I hadn’t noticed that not seconds later another dog was sniffing at my leg!
It’s my turn…
I turned in surprise, saw the Husky, then darted around looking for the owner. Presumably this was the same person the young woman spoke with earlier. Finally I saw him sitting in a chair he set up behind me on the bike path’s edge.
My indignance increased. “Really?” I thought. “Twice in a row?” What did I expect? I create my reality. Here was the Universe serving me a big pile of pet peeve….a second helping if you will, this time via a Husky and yet another irresponsible owner.
But wait…it gets worse. Or rather, I got worse.
I should have known trying to get the owner to do anything about his scofflaw dog would be futile. After all I saw that play out just seconds ago. Never the less:
“Sir, would you please come get your dog!” I said with force ten annoyance.
The owner looked down at me, at his dog and said “he’s alright.”
“I’m not!” I said.
The owner said nothing.
At that, I’d had it!
Now I was fully in rage. That’s right, I was so angry, I was shaking. I wanted to strangle that damn dog and murder the owner. But I also knew it wasn’t the dog’s fault. So I directed all my rage (in my mind) at the owner. I wanted to first strangle him, then murder him!
I should mention I had the presence of mind at this moment to see the ironic humor here. A part of me knew what I was doing was ridiculous. It’s just a dog. But the principle folks, and the momentum of my pet peeve had me firm in its grip.
Clearly this guy wasn’t going to do anything about his dog. There was no way I could recover my state of calm at this point, not to mention focusing on Douthat’s prose. I decided then to gather my things and head home in a huff, which took all but a couple minutes.
But I couldn’t let it end that way. Noooo.
As I pushed my bike up to the bike trail, I made my “offender” clearly: white male in his 40s, beer in hand, listening to a transistor radio, minding his own business and cool as a 🥒. Perfect contrast to my seething rage, which at this point, boiled over and out my mouth:
“YOU’RE EXACTLY THE KIND OF PERSON WHO GIVES DOG OWNERS A BAD NAME!” I yelled in his general direction. I hopped on my bike and peeled away on the momentum of my righteous indignation. 😂🤣😊
That wasn’t the end of it.
A half-mile into my return trip, it struck me. What happened here? Why am I letting this situation shape how I feel? How I feel is more important than how I’m treated. In fact, I know by choosing how I interpret what happens in my life, I can create reality. Here I was doing what a noob at all this “you create your reality” business would do…
At this point, I should stop and say I know sometimes I’m going to get pissed. It’s just part of what happens when an eternal being comes into physical reality.
Thinking an enlightened person doesn’t get mad sometimes indicates misunderstanding about how physical reality works. Physical reality intentionally offers variety: things I want and things I don’t want. After all, how am I to know what I want if I don’t know what I don’t want?
How am I to know what thoughts feel better than others, if I don’t have a negative experience every now and then?
That’s what I thought one half mile into my return ride. And that’s when I decided I had the power here. I had choice.
So instead of continuing to seethe, I decided to put my attention on something else. Something more pleasing. So I noticed the blue sky. I noticed the green trees. I noticed how much I like riding my bike, how good the sun felt on my bare legs and arms, how good it feels on a Oregon summer day. In seconds I felt better. My feelings reminded me how wonderful it is working from Oregon’s riversides:
That’s when something amazing happened
The more I thought these thoughts, the better I felt. Then…
Ever had an experience where something happens, you react in a less than ideal way, then, later, you get a thought, an idea, an alternative way you could have responded that might have been more effective?
Well that’s what happened. In my increasing happiness I received an alternative scenario that played out in my mind. Rather than throwing a tantrum at the guy, I saw my self calmly rise, gather my things and my chair, walk up to the guy and set up my chair right next to him. So close our chairs touched side by side. Then I sat down, looked at him and began politely talking his ear off.
That’s when I burst out laughing, a belly laugh so strong it obliterated my anger. I let this alternative reality play through my mind, adding humorous bits here and there – I saw him looking at me surprised, then trying to ignore me, then suddenly packing up his things and stomping off, dog in tow off leash. I imagined him and I actually having a friendly conversation, chatting away like best friends. I imagined him and I sitting there, me chatting away and he trying to ignore my chatting tsunami in quiet annoyance…
And you know what happened next? The entire situation changed for me. No longer did I see him as the idiot epitome of bad dog ownership. Instead he became a shining example of what I could be.
Consider this:
This guy was doing his own thing, oblivious to what others thought and said about him
This guy was in his own reality, enjoying his life with his dog. So was the dog!
This guy had presence of mind, a centeredness so powerful, he appeared unphased by not only one, but two verbal aggressors trying to knock him off his rocker
As much as I want to vilify him, he demonstrated to me vibrational mastery. And at that point he went from villain to teacher.
I want to be like that. I want to be calm in the face of storms.
And, in fact I am, nearly all the time.
Which is another thing he taught me: that I am that nearly all the time. When I’m not, there’s always something great in the experience I learn about myself and about my Positively Focused practice.
