TL;DR: The author explains why putting yourself first restores alignment with everything you’re wanting, stabilizes identity beyond ego, and reorganizes reality through vibrational coherence rather than self-sacrifice or insecurity. They then encourage readers to discover the joy that comes from putting one’s self first.
Civilization has trained us to believe that putting ourselves first is selfish. From an early age, we’re taught that virtue looks like sacrifice, that maturity looks like self-denial, and that goodness means placing others ahead of ourselves. That conditioning runs deep. So much so putting others first feels moral, responsible even.
Yet from the vantage point of the Positively Focused framework, that entire premise rests on a misunderstanding of how physical reality actually works.
There is no one else in our life experience in the way we think there is. The people we interact with are not independent sources of our satisfaction or dissatisfaction. They are reflections—emanations responding to our internal state on the subject they represent. When we attempt to put others first, we are not elevating something outside ourself; we are misaligning the only point of creative authority that exists in our experience: Us.
Placing ourselves behind others creates disempowerment. Disempowerment naturally breeds insecurity. Insecurity then produces distorted thinking and negative emotion. That insecurity does not remain internal. It gets reflected back to us through lived experiences, experiences I call manifestations.
Those manifestations often feel negative, but they are actually positive feedback. They reveal where we are disconnected from our Broader Perspective and operating from a diminished sense of self. In that way physical reality acts as information we can use to true up to our eternal, all-knowing state.
Understanding this changes everything. Putting ourselves first, then, is not selfishness in the conventional sense. It is structural alignment with the mechanics of reality.
The Order of Operation
Within the Positively Focused framework, I teach what I call the Order of Operation. This subframework clarifies what “putting yourself first” actually means in practice. It does not imply ignoring others or acting carelessly. Instead, it establishes the correct sequence of alignment.
The first priority is our relationship with our Broader Perspective. That deeper aspect of us—what some might call pure positive energy or divine consciousness—is the source of our life experience. Alignment here determines our vibrational tone. When that relationship is strong, clarity increases. When it is neglected, confusion follows.
The second priority is our relationship with our emotions. Emotions function as indicators. Negative emotion signals that our thoughts are misaligned with our Broader Perspective. Positive emotion signals resonance. Emotions then act as precision instruments helping us create lives we love.
The third priority is our relationship with ourselves. This means choosing satisfaction, ease, joy, freedom, and self-respect as daily practices. Such choices affirm our existence and so such choices not only feel good, they create pleasant manifestations (life experiences). Choices made from obligation, rooted in guilt or fear do not feel good. Such choices create unpleasant manifestations.
Everything else—career, partnership, family, contribution—comes after these three relationships. That order matters because our entire experience flows from the alignment between us and our Broader Perspective. When that connection is strong, life reflects coherence. When it is strained, reality mirrors discord.
In the Positively Focused Practice we learn how to use the Order of Operation to our advantage and how to maintain it in our lives.
Why Serving Others Fails When We Abandon Ourselves
Many people believe that prioritizing others is the highest form of service. In practice, the opposite is true. Attempting to satisfy others while disconnected from ourselves creates a cycle of mutual insecurity. We cannot fulfill another person’s needs in a lasting way because their satisfaction does not originate from us. When we try, demands increase. Alongside increased demands come more expectations that we behave in certain ways. Frustration builds for both parties when we don’t meet those demands. In time, resentment and a feeling of being unseen can show up leading to “failed” relationships.
Service is vibrational before it is behavioral. How we be is more influential than what we say or do. A sovereign, aligned presence stabilizes others naturally. Someone stabilized in their self-knowing is pleasant to be around. A disempowered presence spreads unease, regardless of good intentions. People can feel this disempowerment emanating from us.
This is why Abraham’s teaching about sacred selfishness is so direct. Entertaining ourselves, pleasing ourselves, connecting with ourselves, enjoying ourselves—these are alignment practices. When we are selfish enough to reach for that connection first, we become an enormous gift to everyone around us.
The Ego Is a Function, Not an Identity
Where many people become confused is in their relationship to ego. Modern psychology often treats ego as identity. From the Positively Focused perspective, ego is a function not an identity. Its role is similar to our lungs or our heart. Our lungs process oxygen and carbon dioxide. Our heart circulates blood. The ego generates the perception of separation.
Without ego, we would experience ourselves as fully unified with physical reality. Ego creates the illusion of duality so we can navigate the physical environment. That function is useful. It becomes destabilizing only when we collapse our identity onto it.
When identity fuses with ego, insecurity becomes inevitable. The ego was never designed to hold our sense of self. It was designed to facilitate contrast and perception. True identity resides in pure positive energy. That identity stabilizes only when we maintain our Order of Operation thereby putting ourselves first.
What Insecurity Looks Like in Practice
Recently, I worked with a new client who was drawn to advanced manifestations after watching many of my videos. Exposure to those videos alone had already improved her life significantly, she said. At the same time, underlying insecurity remained active in her. That insecurity expressed itself as insecurity-based demands she leveled on me, and expectation that I treat her as an exception to my other clients. She wanted me to treat her special, in other words.
But the Positively Focused structure works for everyone. That’s why I can offer a full money-back guarantee that clients get results. Structure can feel threatening when ego seeks control. Requests for special tailoring and resistance to proven methods often arise from a desire to stabilize identity externally. Ultimately, this new client chose to self-select out of the practice. It was a perfect example of misalignment revealing itself.
What happened next was instructive. As that misalignment exited, alignment flowed in, in my experience. Another client increased their session frequency resulting in income which replaced the potential income from this new, now ex-client. Meanwhile, a totally different new client began onboarding.
A generational ripple appeared as well as this new client is a family member of a long-term client. Family members becoming clients happen frequently because changes family members see in their brothers, sisters, moms, etc. are so profound they want what they see in their loved one.
Reality reorganizes around vibrational clarity. When we put ourselves first, what does not match falls away. What does match steps forward.
Identity Anchored in Pure Positive Energy
We are not our ego. Nor are we our insecurities, diagnoses, or traumas or personality test results. We are pure positive energy expressing through form. That identity becomes accessible when we prioritize alignment above approval.
Self-love is not narcissism it is stabilization. Sovereignty shows up naturally when coherence with All That Is happens. When our identity rests in pure positive energy, our influence increases without needing force. Emotional steadiness replaces reactivity. Contribution becomes effortless as does getting everything we want.
Putting ourselves first does not diminish others. What it does do is it empowers others. How? By modeling alignment, we become the invitation for others to find their own alignment. That’s what happens when family members of clients become clients themselves.
In alignment life experience that once felt disruptive becomes valuable feedback. Negative emotion becomes powerful guidance. Life improves not through control, but through calibration and allowing. The most generous thing we can do, therefore, is maintain our order of operation. From there, everything else unfolds naturally.
IInterested in living from that level of alignment? Then find the teacher who resonates with you. Implement the principles then observe what reorganizes as life opens up. When identity stabilizes in pure positive energy, life does not become perfect — it becomes coherent. And coherence is powerful medicine.
